Gift giving and your significant other

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by rockyroadicecream on Monday, November 28, 2016 and has 9 replies.
What would you think/feel if your S.O. of several years still didn't know your likes, tastes, etc. in regard to giving you gifts? Any time gift giving occurred, it was just things that have nothing to do with your personality, likes, interests, and so on? Some may even be more like "this is what I like so I got you something related to it?"

It seems as if no thought it put into them and they just get some random shit that you may/may not like?

Would this bother you or make you question why this person STILL doesn't know/understand you well enough to get you truly thoughtful gifts?
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My SO gives me a necklace for every occasion. I have about 20 necklaces now, all very nice. I don't wear Jewellery - at all. It doesn't bother me except for the waste of money that it is, so I stopped him on my last birthday and we just went out for the day together, which is all I really want - which reminds me, I have to have a word with him before Christmas so he doesn't fall back into bad habits smile
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Might as well date a wall.
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Posted by MIIeFisk
For the most part, i think men are just clueless AF when it comes to gift giving. Half the time they dont even know what to get their own moms unless she specifically asked for it.
I agree, but they should still be smart enough to give a gift card to a store or mall and now you have those Visa cards.

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This isn't about me or a guy. In fact, it's a female who's been guilty of this, which is why I was even more intrigued by the situation.
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i used to care more. i used to think that if he didn't know what i wanted, he did not pay attention and must not love enough (poor guy lol)

now i'm just like "can i have this for Xmas and b-day?" XoOXXXooXXXOOOXxxOOO

win-win lol

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Posted by rockyroadicecream
This isn't about me or a guy. In fact, it's a female who's been guilty of this, which is why I was even more intrigued by the situation.
Women see gift giving as the perfect opportunity to change their mans image (clothes, shoes, etc) into the perfect man they've always longed for. Can you blame us...being raised on Barbie dolls and make believe.

What kinds of gifts does she give him?
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Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by rockyroadicecream
This isn't about me or a guy. In fact, it's a female who's been guilty of this, which is why I was even more intrigued by the situation.
Women see gift giving as the perfect opportunity to change their mans image (clothes, shoes, etc) into the perfect man they've always longed for. Can you blame us...being raised on Barbie dolls and make believe.

What kinds of gifts does she give him?
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The example that got me thinking about this was my brother and his gf. Yes, I know I've brought this chick up a few times, but I am just flabbergasted at times, you know? But this isn't about changing image. It's just... the most random fuck shit and I have a feeling it's either "this'll do" or "this is what I like so I'm going to project this onto your gift."

Two hats, one a style he would never wear and another with Star Wars stuff, something he's not exactly a fan of.

When he was interested in an electric guitar, he'd pointed some out. I was getting it for him, and she's like "oh I just know he wants a white one." ...really? I'm pretty sure he'd want a natural color like cherry or black. "No, he wants white!" ...how have you been with him this long and don't know what colors he likes? :/ (he wanted a natural one, btw)

This time last year, she claimed she was going to get him a dash cam, but never did. She bought him a head lamp for work, some fell off the truck shit, and it didn't even work. Took her several months to get him a replacement.

This all came up again because we were discussing presents for him the other day (his bday is coming up as well was xmas) and it's just more of the same and I'm constantly wondering how the fuck she's this terrible about basics when they've been together 5 years. He's mentioned on several occasions how much he likes oreo cake. Okay, oreo cake for the birthday it is. Her- "Has he ever had an icecream cake?" ...dafuq? What didn't you understand about "oreo cake."

She's also claimed she already got him an RFID wallet he'd brought up when we all went to the mall last week. Magically, she had no pic to show like she did with a shirt she'd already gotten him (she's notorious for lying). Part of me wants to get that wallet, just in case she pulls the same shit she did last year about the dash cam. :/

They had a fight a few weeks back and he voiced some irritation with this as well. He just says thank you and tries to humor her, but even he's kinda wtf about it at times. He tends to put more effort into her gift giving than she does him and I think it grates his nerves.

I know some people are whatever about presents and may have the same attitude toward others when gift giving, and some are just terrible at picking gifts. But come on, when you know the basics about someone- interests, preferred colors, style , preferred clothing, etc, why would one buy the most random, unrelated shit ever as presents? Is it just lack of paying attention to others outside the "me" bubble? Or is someone truly that dense that they can't pick up on who a person is and just blank out on gifts?

I actually Googled the subject and saw some discussions elsewhere about this type of thing and the responses were interesting. Varied from "some people suck at gift giving" to "wow that person is kind of a dick). Was curious what people on the DXP felt about it. They say actions speak louder than words, yet gift giving seems to get a bit of grey area in regard to that. When do you/don't you go "wtf" when someone treats gift giving like this toward someone they're supposed to care about?

I came across one discussion forum where it was a guy being the problem- the girlfriend was asking a forum about it because she wasn't sure wtf to do. He seemed to mean well but just wasn't getting it and he cried a lot. Cried when he realized he'd gotten a wrong gift. Cried when she said hey let's try this, cry, cry ,cry.

I was like holy crap I wonder if that dude's a Cancer? Haha.
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Posted by iCloud9
i used to care more. i used to think that if he didn't know what i wanted, he did not pay attention and must not love enough (poor guy lol)

now i'm just like "can i have this for Xmas and b-day?" XoOXXXooXXXOOOXxxOOO

win-win lol

Man, I do that. I had to with my mom and brother. They're the type that need lists. One year, I just kinda left it up to them and the gifts I got were... meh. Not bad, and it's not like I didn't appreciate the effort, but I just felt bad that they wasted money on things I didn't want/need.

....so it's been lists ever since haha.

"Here's a list of stuff. You don't have to get all of it, but just to give you some ideas..."

The only downside to this approach is that there's no surprise. I have an uncanny ability to figure out what I'm getting before I even open it, so I love when I can be surprised haha.
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