Lack of jealousy in a relationship
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by P10 on Saturday, May 28, 2016 and has 19 replies.
What do you think about a lack of jealousy in a relationship?
Does it mean that the guy or girl is really secure and trusts their partner? Or would it signal a lack of interest if there wasn't at least a little jealousy?
Obviously, obsessive jealousy is harmful and nobody wants that.
What if someone is jealous (normal amount, not crazy) in one relationship, but in another, doesn't mind him/her hanging out or going to parties with the opposite sex?
Is a little jealousy ok because it makes your partner feel that you care or are desirable?
Does it mean that the guy or girl is really secure and trusts their partner? Or would it signal a lack of interest if there wasn't at least a little jealousy?
Obviously, obsessive jealousy is harmful and nobody wants that.
What if someone is jealous (normal amount, not crazy) in one relationship, but in another, doesn't mind him/her hanging out or going to parties with the opposite sex?
Is a little jealousy ok because it makes your partner feel that you care or are desirable?
I'm just curious. I have friends who are this way and I think it's great. Just wondering what others think!
The special jealousy that involves protectiveness is there, and I love it. My boyfriend is possessive of me, but he is the first to champion my causes. He displays his possessiveness by how he holds my hand, places his hand on my lower back, introduces me as his girlfriend to people, talks about my ukulele practice or other things about me that seems to bring him pride. It also comes through in his concern for my well-being, like when he makes sure the soup I order is actually vegetarian or that there aren't any 'shrooms in my food, that I'm not feeling cold (because I usually do).
While playing tennis once, I suggested that he join me at the club I plan to go to, and he said he isn't very interested. I teased him saying, "Fine. You'll just have to risk the guys there hitting on me." He whacked me on the bottom with his tennis racket, and we laughed about it.
I know when the jealousy is the bad kind when I feel smothered, and when my dreams, ambitions, desires are undercut, belittled, and when I feel less powerful. It's the good time when I feel sparkly, empowered, and precious - that's how my BF makes me feel.
The other kind of destructive jealousy is frightening and will eat at all my good bits. I literally feel like an ugly beast when I feel the negative jealousy. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I try so hard to counter it with positivity. I don't always win, but that's okay; it's part of being a human, especially a woman human.
While playing tennis once, I suggested that he join me at the club I plan to go to, and he said he isn't very interested. I teased him saying, "Fine. You'll just have to risk the guys there hitting on me." He whacked me on the bottom with his tennis racket, and we laughed about it.
I know when the jealousy is the bad kind when I feel smothered, and when my dreams, ambitions, desires are undercut, belittled, and when I feel less powerful. It's the good time when I feel sparkly, empowered, and precious - that's how my BF makes me feel.
The other kind of destructive jealousy is frightening and will eat at all my good bits. I literally feel like an ugly beast when I feel the negative jealousy. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I try so hard to counter it with positivity. I don't always win, but that's okay; it's part of being a human, especially a woman human.
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Posted by CurlyAries
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Actually, wanting what someone else has is envy.
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAries
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Actually, wanting what someone else has is envy.click to expand
envy and jealousy are synonymous.
Posted by CurlyAriesPosted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAries
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Actually, wanting what someone else has is envy.
envy and jealousy are synonymous.click to expand
I think that's incorrect. Envy is desiring what someone else has. Jealousy is the fear of losing something/someone you already possess.
i never understood the people who get a thrill out of making their partner jealous for the sake that "oh they care if they get jealous". A little jealousy is normal but if you're depending your relationship on that technique then i would see you as too much of a burden.
Posted by MoonshineLeo
i never understood the people who get a thrill out of making their partner jealous for the sake that "oh they care if they get jealous". A little jealousy is normal but if you're depending your relationship on that technique then i would see you as too much of a burden.
I understand it perfectly. I don't believe in it, but I understand it.
Signed Up: Oct 29, 2014
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
I do know when someone is overly protective or controlling than I have. That would be Aries. And I didn't like it. Even though I have it in deep in my soul. You would never know I was possessive or jealous. Because if you can mustard up those traits it would mean red flags are around to happen. That means you may be into lies, manipulative tacts, or behavior that I saw when I was younger going through what I went through.
It is all about what I see or hear from that person. I would like alittle care or concern though.
It is all about what I see or hear from that person. I would like alittle care or concern though.
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAriesPosted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAries
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Actually, wanting what someone else has is envy.
envy and jealousy are synonymous.
I think that's incorrect. Envy is desiring what someone else has. Jealousy is the fear of losing something/someone you already possess.click to expand
Look it up and then tell me it's incorrect.
Posted by CurlyAriesPosted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAriesPosted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAries
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Actually, wanting what someone else has is envy.
envy and jealousy are synonymous.
I think that's incorrect. Envy is desiring what someone else has. Jealousy is the fear of losing something/someone you already possess.
Look it up and then tell me it's incorrect.click to expand
You aren't being very thoughtful in your response, so I doubt you want to have an intellectual discussion about the difference between jealousy and envy. I'm not interested in bickering. Perhaps it would be useful for you to read beyond the dictionary definition and think of the terms on a deeper level. I recommend you look into psychology and broaden your mind, instead of only being interested in being right.
Posted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAriesPosted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAriesPosted by LillyPetalPosted by CurlyAries
I'm not a fan of jealousy and what it represents. To me it means you want what someone else has & so you feel negative towards the person that has it.
So in a relationship, a man or woman that gets jealous if their partner is simply having a conversation w/ someone else, is ludicrous to me.
It's an insecurity.
Possessiveness on the other hand, I think is fine. There's a thin line between jealousy and possessiveness.
I think I'm indirectly possessive. I like be close to my partner in public. I don't really care for hand holding, I notice i just like to hold their arm while we're walking. But I'm cool w/ being a part and mingling with other people and I would want my partner to be ok with it as well bc a conversation is just a conversation. Trust me like I trust you.
Plus, my man is the only one that get can all of me. I may have a conversation with someone, but my man would be the only King in my world.
Actually, wanting what someone else has is envy.
envy and jealousy are synonymous.
I think that's incorrect. Envy is desiring what someone else has. Jealousy is the fear of losing something/someone you already possess.
Look it up and then tell me it's incorrect.
You aren't being very thoughtful in your response, so I doubt you want to have an intellectual discussion about the difference between jealousy and envy. I'm not interested in bickering. Perhaps it would be useful for you to read beyond the dictionary definition and think of the terms on a deeper level. I recommend you look into psychology and broaden your mind, instead of only being interested in being right.click to expand
I'm not trying to bicker at all... but that is what it is. The foundation of a thought or idea comes down to the root of the terms that are used. Yes, I am aware this can be broadened. I stated my opinion and you were the one that kept trying to prove me wrong in the first place. You didn't try to deepen the topic at all, you just countered everything I said.
@CurlyAries I did tell you what I thought the difference between jealousy and envy was. You egged me on to prove you wrong when you held my phrase "I think" against me and told me to look it up and tell you you're incorrect, I.e. "Prove me wrong." By saying "I think," I was opening the floor to discussion, rather than saying "this is fact."
I think the differentiation is interesting, instead of just taking things at face value. A quick search will give you literature on it. But no harm, no foul. You are a ram sister, after all, and I know our communication skills can sometimes leave much to be desired. :p #HoofLyfe
I think the differentiation is interesting, instead of just taking things at face value. A quick search will give you literature on it. But no harm, no foul. You are a ram sister, after all, and I know our communication skills can sometimes leave much to be desired. :p #HoofLyfe
Posted by P10
What do you think about a lack of jealousy in a relationship?
Does it mean that the guy or girl is really secure and trusts their partner? Or would it signal a lack of interest if there wasn't at least a little jealousy?
Obviously, obsessive jealousy is harmful and nobody wants that.
What if someone is jealous (normal amount, not crazy) in one relationship, but in another, doesn't mind him/her hanging out or going to parties with the opposite sex?
Is a little jealousy ok because it makes your partner feel that you care or are desirable?
I like a Little possessiveness in the sense that I know you're thinking of me throughout the day & night . I don't do jealous well. I've been out with some crazy jealous people & it wasn't very attractive. Give me my space but make me feel a little possessed in a non scary way. It's all in the details. I have signs that clash with one another . The aries side that enjoys my complete freedom & individually , my emotional Pisces side & my very detailed perfectionist Virgo side. Sometime I feel like I'm playing a push n pull game with myself . Lol
Posted by SofiaV87Posted by P10
What do you think about a lack of jealousy in a relationship?
Does it mean that the guy or girl is really secure and trusts their partner? Or would it signal a lack of interest if there wasn't at least a little jealousy?
Obviously, obsessive jealousy is harmful and nobody wants that.
What if someone is jealous (normal amount, not crazy) in one relationship, but in another, doesn't mind him/her hanging out or going to parties with the opposite sex?
Is a little jealousy ok because it makes your partner feel that you care or are desirable?
I like a Little possessiveness in the sense that I know you're thinking of me throughout the day & night . I don't do jealous well. I've been out with some crazy jealous people & it wasn't very attractive. Give me my space but make me feel a little possessed in a non scary way. It's all in the details. I have signs that clash with one another . The aries side that enjoys my complete freedom & individually , my emotional Pisces side & my very detailed perfectionist Virgo side. Sometime I feel like I'm playing a push n pull game with myself . Lolclick to expand
OMG, you have the same placements as me: Aries sun, Piscse moon, Virgo rising!
No way!! No wonder why I get your posts! I don't know anyone with my exact placements. Well, now I do (:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/joy-and-pain/201401/what-is-the-difference-between-envy-and-jealousy
I thought this explained it well.
I thought this explained it well.
Posted by LillyPetal
@CurlyAries I did tell you what I thought the difference between jealousy and envy was. You egged me on to prove you wrong when you held my phrase "I think" against me and told me to look it up and tell you you're incorrect, I.e. "Prove me wrong." By saying "I think," I was opening the floor to discussion, rather than saying "this is fact."
I think the differentiation is interesting, instead of just taking things at face value. A quick search will give you literature on it. But no harm, no foul. You are a ram sister, after all, and I know our communication skills can sometimes leave much to be desired. :p #HoofLyfe
I saw that you have Virgo Rising... How you were responding took me back to when I was dealing w/ my ex and I would get snappy. I really meant no harm anyway. Rough day today, maybe I let a lil too much attitude leak through lol
Misunderstanding at first.
#HoofLyfe!!
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