Ready to End Friendship with Chick who Takes Abuse.

Posted by Eddie_Vanjovi
This is when you bring in the authorities.

I'm being serious. Being in a family of abusive, neglectful parents, one of the best things to happen was when a neighbor saw my mother black out and start beating me and called the cops.

End the friendship, sure, for your own mental health. You have actually attempted to mend the situation but was not successful. It's now effecting you negatively. Since you witnessed abuse, you should report it and allow them to take care of it.

So, what do you do?

The next time she comes to you and discloses information the is directly, or subjectively involving abusive behavior, phone the police. Keep records of your conversations.

Posted by Eddie_Vanjovi

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Eddie_Vanjovi
This is when you bring in the authorities.

I'm being serious. Being in a family of abusive, neglectful parents, one of the best things to happen was when a neighbor saw my mother black out and start beating me and called the cops.

End the friendship, sure, for your own mental health. You have actually attempted to mend the situation but was not successful. It's now effecting you negatively. Since you witnessed abuse, you should report it and allow them to take care of it.

So, what do you do?

The next time she comes to you and discloses information the is directly, or subjectively involving abusive behavior, phone the police. Keep records of your conversations.

Thank you for your feedback, he doesn't hit her all the abuse is emotional.

Abuse is abuse, regardless of whatever form it comes in. The police are trained to deal with emotionally abusive partners as well.

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I have a new friendship with the lady who either can't leave or refuses to leave a highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

She's a Taurus he's a Pisces; he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays. She just will not leave no matter how toxic dysfunctional sick twisted unkind or cruel he is too she or her son she just will not leave.

She said in the beginning he was really kind and nice and that's the person that she hopes will show back up again but now he's turned into this Tyrant. She's just dumbfounded about how the relationship change so drastically.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her. He is a foreigner who I believe needs a green card but she just refuses to leave and I'm tired of hearing about the abuse day in and day out.

When she's angry she'll make aggressive plans to leave but all he has to do is apologize and she's right back Stuck on Stupid!

What would you do? I'm starting to lose respect for her and I'm tired of giving 14 - 28 hours of counseling and listening an advising only for her to go right back to the place that she was in and not do anything concrete to change the situation for she or her son.

She has a good job she can afford to leave she has family out there she can stay with their family that he is very emotionally manipulative she refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and she refuses to go to therapy so what would you do?

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I have a new friendship with the lady who either can't leave or refuses to leave a highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

She's a Taurus he's a Pisces; he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays. She just will not leave no matter how toxic dysfunctional sick twisted unkind or cruel he is too she or her son she just will not leave.

She said in the beginning he was really kind and nice and that's the person that she hopes will show back up again but now he's turned into this Tyrant. She's just dumbfounded about how the relationship change so drastically.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her. He is a foreigner who I believe needs a green card but she just refuses to leave and I'm tired of hearing about the abuse day in and day out.

When she's angry she'll make aggressive plans to leave but all he has to do is apologize and she's right back Stuck on Stupid!

What would you do? I'm starting to lose respect for her and I'm tired of giving 14 - 28 hours of counseling and listening an advising only for her to go right back to the place that she was in and not do anything concrete to change the situation for she or her son.

She has a good job she can afford to leave she has family out there she can stay with their family that he is very emotionally manipulative she refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and she refuses to go to therapy so what would you do?

Don't abandon her! Abusers want their victims to be isolated.

Abandoning her can make things worse and make her more vulnerable to physical harm and even possibly

getting killed by him. Especially if and when she decides to leave him for good.

Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship.


I was in a similar situation with a friend of mine just a couple of years back.

I even did a domestic violence advocacy training program to help her but also myself as I was raised in a household in which one of my parents abused the other.

Here's a link to some resources on how you can help her:

http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

http://www.domesticabuseshelter.org/infodomesticviolence.htm

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I have a new friendship with the lady who either can't leave or refuses to leave a highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

She's a Taurus he's a Pisces; he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays. She just will not leave no matter how toxic dysfunctional sick twisted unkind or cruel he is too she or her son she just will not leave.

She said in the beginning he was really kind and nice and that's the person that she hopes will show back up again but now he's turned into this Tyrant. She's just dumbfounded about how the relationship change so drastically.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her. He is a foreigner who I believe needs a green card but she just refuses to leave and I'm tired of hearing about the abuse day in and day out.

When she's angry she'll make aggressive plans to leave but all he has to do is apologize and she's right back Stuck on Stupid!

What would you do? I'm starting to lose respect for her and I'm tired of giving 14 - 28 hours of counseling and listening an advising only for her to go right back to the place that she was in and not do anything concrete to change the situation for she or her son.

She has a good job she can afford to leave she has family out there she can stay with their family that he is very emotionally manipulative she refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and she refuses to go to therapy so what would you do?

Don't abandon her! Abusers want their victims to be isolated.

Abandoning her can make things worse and make her more vulnerable to physical harm and even possibly

getting killed by him. Especially if and when she decides to leave him for good.

Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship.


I was in a similar situation with a friend of mine just a couple of years back.

I even did a domestic violence advocacy training program to help her but also myself as I was raised in a household in which one of my parents abused the other.

Here's a link to some resources on how you can help her:

http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

http://www.domesticabuseshelter.org/infodomesticviolence.htm

What happened to your friend? In regards to leaving the friendship, If she is willing to do SOMETHING for herself, then I will stay by her side. Otherwise, if this is path she choosing for herself and her poor child, what can I do?

He tells her repeatedly to leave! But either she can't or stubbornly won't. I will deal with her once a month, but any more than that.....i don't know if I can handle...especially if she isn't doing anything to help herself.

click to expand

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

You know nothing about what I have done and how I have been there for her - you've done no investigating you haven't asked me any questions to expound on the situation.

And you come on this board with a puppet Avatar and you name yourself Superman and you want to talk about somebody being shallow. Lol

In addition I agree with how you refer to yourself as the dxp local idiot. In addition I could ask you the same thing why would you come on here and judge instead of offering insight and another perspective as the adults have.

click to expand

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

Do you know anything about being a witness to an abusive relationship? What part of new friend did you not understand. I watched a relative nearly kill herself while choosing to stay in an abusive relationship It's almost as painful as staying in the relationship yourself. I think distancing yourself is a self esteeming act. If It's a relative that's one thing, a long term friendship in another, but a new friend who is not helping herself, you owe her nothing.

click to expand

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

You know nothing about what I have done and how I have been there for her - you've done no investigating you haven't asked me any questions to expound on the situation.

And you come on this board with a puppet Avatar and you name yourself Superman and you want to talk about somebody being shallow. Lol

In addition I agree with how you refer to yourself as the dxp local idiot. In addition I could ask you the same thing why would you come on here and judge instead of offering insight and another perspective as the adults have.

Well, I'm just going by your words and the title of this thread. I didn't judge you one bit. Being there for someone is not about you. It's about them. It's about supporting them when they need you the most. From your thread, you're considering bailing because she's not taking your advice. She needs someone she can trust and lean on. Dosen't sound like you're that person.

And as far as you judging me from my avatar and screen name..........go piss up a rope and climb it

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

You know nothing about what I have done and how I have been there for her - you've done no investigating you haven't asked me any questions to expound on the situation.

And you come on this board with a puppet Avatar and you name yourself Superman and you want to talk about somebody being shallow. Lol

In addition I agree with how you refer to yourself as the dxp local idiot. In addition I could ask you the same thing why would you come on here and judge instead of offering insight and another perspective as the adults have.

Well, I'm just going by your words and the title of this thread. I didn't judge you one bit. Being there for someone is not about you. It's about them. It's about supporting them when they need you the most. From your thread, you're considering bailing because she's not taking your advice. She needs someone she can trust and lean on. Dosen't sound like you're that person.

And as far as you judging me from my avatar and screen name..........go piss up a rope and climb it

Okay, let's block each other then you don't have to worry about what I post. ?

Done!

click to expand

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

Do you know anything about being a witness to an abusive relationship? What part of new friend did you not understand. I watched a relative nearly kill herself while choosing to stay in an abusive relationship It's almost as painful as staying in the relationship yourself. I think distancing yourself is a self esteeming act. If It's a relative that's one thing, a long term friendship in another, but a new friend who is not helping herself, you owe her nothing.

Wrong

click to expand

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I have a new friendship with the lady who either can't leave or refuses to leave a highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

She's a Taurus he's a Pisces; he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays. She just will not leave no matter how toxic dysfunctional sick twisted unkind or cruel he is too she or her son she just will not leave.

She said in the beginning he was really kind and nice and that's the person that she hopes will show back up again but now he's turned into this Tyrant. She's just dumbfounded about how the relationship change so drastically.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her. He is a foreigner who I believe needs a green card but she just refuses to leave and I'm tired of hearing about the abuse day in and day out.

When she's angry she'll make aggressive plans to leave but all he has to do is apologize and she's right back Stuck on Stupid!

What would you do? I'm starting to lose respect for her and I'm tired of giving 14 - 28 hours of counseling and listening an advising only for her to go right back to the place that she was in and not do anything concrete to change the situation for she or her son.

She has a good job she can afford to leave she has family out there she can stay with their family that he is very emotionally manipulative she refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and she refuses to go to therapy so what would you do?

Don't abandon her! Abusers want their victims to be isolated.

Abandoning her can make things worse and make her more vulnerable to physical harm and even possibly

getting killed by him. Especially if and when she decides to leave him for good.

Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship.


I was in a similar situation with a friend of mine just a couple of years back.

I even did a domestic violence advocacy training program to help her but also myself as I was raised in a household in which one of my parents abused the other.

Here's a link to some resources on how you can help her:

http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

http://www.domesticabuseshelter.org/infodomesticviolence.htm

What happened to your friend? In regards to leaving the friendship, If she is willing to do SOMETHING for herself, then I will stay by her side. Otherwise, if this is path she choosing for herself and her poor child, what can I do?

He tells her repeatedly to leave! But either she can't or stubbornly won't. I will deal with her once a month, but any more than that.....i don't know if I can handle...especially if she isn't doing anything to help herself.

She's still married to the guy. She became abusive herself for a little while actually but is now actively seeking therapy.

I kept my distance but didn't exactly cut her off. She eventually took the steps she needed.

click to expand

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Ssuperman

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Ssuperman
Why don't you try to actually be a friend and be there for her instead of being a coward and leaving like everyone else? I swear some people are so damn shallow. Makes me sick

Do you know anything about being a witness to an abusive relationship? What part of new friend did you not understand. I watched a relative nearly kill herself while choosing to stay in an abusive relationship It's almost as painful as staying in the relationship yourself. I think distancing yourself is a self esteeming act. If It's a relative that's one thing, a long term friendship in another, but a new friend who is not helping herself, you owe her nothing.

Wrong

You sound stupid, just like your name - local idiot, but OP if she is not doing anything to help herself, it may be for your highest interest to back-up.

Adults use boundaries to legislate their incoming reality, if she is allowing herself to be mistreated, why have this in your life?

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

The relative in an abusive relationship was closer than I choose to admit;

No matter how bad a situation

adults choose.

She is choosing her circumstances!

There are many many things she can do to change her circumstances if she chooses.

She is choosing to subject her son to a violent man? Is he violent?

I think it's wise to not enable her.

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

The relative in an abusive relationship was closer than I choose to admit;

No matter how bad a situation

adults choose.

She is choosing her circumstances!

There are many many things she can do to change her circumstances if she chooses.

She is choosing to subject her son to a violent man? Is he violent?

I think it's wise to not enable her.

I haven't even met this chick I just know her from online - Facebook she's friends with somebody that I'm friends with.

We started talking and hit it off really well but I'm getting tired of the daily conversations about her abusive mate who she chooses to not leave.

I have spent hours and hours and hours helping her plan to leave. I think she's weak and selfish she would rather subject her son to that abuse rather than get the help that she can easily afford because she has a great job and she has health insurance so seeing one of the best therapist in the land would just be a co-payment of 10 the $ 20 for her.

click to expand

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

The relative in an abusive relationship was closer than I choose to admit;

No matter how bad a situation

adults choose.

She is choosing her circumstances!

There are many many things she can do to change her circumstances if she chooses.

She is choosing to subject her son to a violent man? Is he violent?

I think it's wise to not enable her.

I haven't even met this chick I just know her from online - Facebook she's friends with somebody that I'm friends with.

We started talking and hit it off really well but I'm getting tired of the daily conversations about her abusive mate who she chooses to not leave.

I have spent hours and hours and hours helping her plan to leave. I think she's weak and selfish she would rather subject her son to that abuse rather than get the help that she can easily afford because she has a great job and she has health insurance so seeing one of the best therapist in the land would just be a co-payment of 10 the $ 20 for her.

Is he violent towards her?

click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShine
If she is burdening you with the abuse, as a friend, I would suggest that she gets help. Sometimes with friendships we have to do the tough love thing. Believe it or not the constant sharing of abusive life style s and staying stuck in that, can enable the person to stay if the friend is prepared to take on the issues. The friend becomes comfortable with the shoulder to cry on but doesn't make strides to change it. My dad did that to me....after mum passed, he used to threaten suicide often until one day I said to him that although i loved him very much, i was his daughter not his therapist. The dynamic changed thereafter.

Be careful that by taking on her issues you don't become drained and she doesn't move forward to get some help. You could offer to find her someone she can get professional help from

Posted by MyStarsShine
If she is burdening you with the abuse, as a friend, I would suggest that she gets help. Sometimes with friendships we have to do the tough love thing. Believe it or not the constant sharing of abusive life style s and staying stuck in that, can enable the person to stay if the friend is prepared to take on the issues. The friend becomes comfortable with the shoulder to cry on but doesn't make strides to change it. My dad did that to me....after mum passed, he used to threaten suicide often until one day I said to him that although i loved him very much, i was his daughter not his therapist. The dynamic changed thereafter.

Be careful that by taking on her issues you don't become drained and she doesn't move forward to get some help. You could offer to find her someone she can get professional help from

Posted by d0s3r
are u virgo

Posted by Shrewdsharp

I haven't even met this chick I just know her from online

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I can still be cordial with her and her friend but I'm drained.

Posted by Shrewdsharp

highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays.

he's turned into this Tyrant.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her.

Posted by Ssuperman

From your thread, you're considering bailing because she's not taking your advice.

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I can still be cordial with her and her friend but I'm drained.

Yeah you got too emotionally involved, maybe you can distance yourself for a little while and re-enter the friendship with some boundaries around topic of discussions. You may have to be as direct as MySTarsShine and tell her - "Hey I am not your therapist I am your friend." Tough love, sometimes is nothing more than boundaries.

click to expand

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Shrewdsharp

highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays.

he's turned into this Tyrant.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her.

This is all hear say. According to you, you have never even met her.

You have come in here to state fact, when in reality .... you've never witnessed any of this.

I wouldn't be shocked at all if you were making payments for the purchase of the Brooklyn Bridge .............. you are THAT gullible.

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I can still be cordial with her and her friend but I'm drained.

Yeah you got too emotionally involved, maybe you can distance yourself for a little while and re-enter the friendship with some boundaries around topic of discussions. You may have to be as direct as MySTarsShine and tell her - "Hey I am not your therapist I am your friend." Tough love, sometimes is nothing more than boundaries.

Wow thanks everybody for your input it has been most valuable. Although everyone is entitled to their opinions I subscribe to the theory that I take what I like and I leave the rest.

And I have decided to maintain the Friendship after some distance and reenter it with new boundaries thanks!

click to expand

Posted by infires
I would not leave her in a situation like this..I understand you are fed up.. maybe she isn't looking fo help even if you think she needs it. Maybe she just wants to vent

I know that being in this kind of relationship is hard because sh could very well have alot of feelings for this man and refuse to change her mind. You cant force help on someone who doesn't want it, but if you can't handle being there for her..then it's not your obligation

Posted by 2Moon
Are all Pisces men like this?! Gaawwdamnn.

Are they all abusive?!


He was only sweet in the beginning because this is how they attract people. They are 2 face, fake and evil imo.

Posted by LovingSeraphina
I think that is what you mean when you say you will always be there but not in the way you were before??

Posted by Goodtimes

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

The relative in an abusive relationship was closer than I choose to admit;

No matter how bad a situation adults choose.

She is choosing her circumstances!

There are many many things she can do to change her circumstances if she chooses.

She is choosing to subject her son to a violent man? Is he violent?

I think it's wise to not enable her.

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp

Posted by Adreamuponwaking

Posted by Shrewdsharp
I have a new friendship with the lady who either can't leave or refuses to leave a highly toxic dysfunctional abusive relationship that is witnessed by her fourteen-year-old son who's currently acting- out and fighting in school.

She's a Taurus he's a Pisces; he puts her down berates her daily; calls her fat, washed out, treats her son like s***, he refuses to speak to the son because he still has a relationship with his father. Every single day she is bombarded with his insults, rude berating comments yet she stays. She just will not leave no matter how toxic dysfunctional sick twisted unkind or cruel he is too she or her son she just will not leave.

She said in the beginning he was really kind and nice and that's the person that she hopes will show back up again but now he's turned into this Tyrant. She's just dumbfounded about how the relationship change so drastically.

Her family has limited contact with her because of how he treats her. He is a foreigner who I believe needs a green card but she just refuses to leave and I'm tired of hearing about the abuse day in and day out.

When she's angry she'll make aggressive plans to leave but all he has to do is apologize and she's right back Stuck on Stupid!

What would you do? I'm starting to lose respect for her and I'm tired of giving 14 - 28 hours of counseling and listening an advising only for her to go right back to the place that she was in and not do anything concrete to change the situation for she or her son.

She has a good job she can afford to leave she has family out there she can stay with their family that he is very emotionally manipulative she refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and she refuses to go to therapy so what would you do?

Don't abandon her! Abusers want their victims to be isolated.

Abandoning her can make things worse and make her more vulnerable to physical harm and even possibly

getting killed by him. Especially if and when she decides to leave him for good.

Approximately 75% of women who are killed by their batterers are murdered when they attempt to leave or after they have left an abusive relationship.


I was in a similar situation with a friend of mine just a couple of years back.

I even did a domestic violence advocacy training program to help her but also myself as I was raised in a household in which one of my parents abused the other.

Here's a link to some resources on how you can help her:

http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

http://www.domesticabuseshelter.org/infodomesticviolence.htm

What happened to your friend? In regards to leaving the friendship, If she is willing to do SOMETHING for herself, then I will stay by her side. Otherwise, if this is path she choosing for herself and her poor child, what can I do?

He tells her repeatedly to leave! But either she can't or stubbornly won't. I will deal with her once a month, but any more than that.....i don't know if I can handle...especially if she isn't doing anything to help herself.

click to expand

Posted by Shrewdsharp
Talking to her is like talking to a brick wall and to me for her to expect new Associates to be by her side while she allows herself to be demeaned on a regular basis; refuses to go to therapy refuses to go to any type of spiritual counseling and refuses to go to get any type of help..

is asking too much!!

Posted by Virgorean
I'm willing to bet her close friends have either left or severely limited contact with your friend which is why she chose to latch onto you her woes for your support. She is looking for an outlet and as long as you're willing to be that outlet she will continue to go to you.

As someone who was your Taurus friend, if you can no longer tolerate being drained then leave. It is harsh, but sometimes when we are too complacent with where we are currently it takes drastic measures to make a bold move. Hence, her desire in not wanting to leave now because she isn't in any fear of danger.

From my experience, friendship enabled my situation because it was that little bit of light I could hold onto while refusing to face reality. Reality didn't hit hard until I lost that, which put me in complete isolation. It wasn't until my best friends who I've known for over a decade put to light how they could no longer be my friend because they could no longer tolerate seeing me in this state than rather take action. At the time they weren't aware that physical abuse was involved, but they were fully aware how toxic the relationship was. Honestly, your words are falling on deaf ears. She needs to be the one to pull herself away from it all. Where you will play a part is when she shows serious action and reaches out to you. She will come from a place of fear and not knowing the next step to take, but you would be by her side to guide her. The friendships and family I lost I've regained when I chose to finally walk.

The difference between your friend and I was I didn't have any ties to hold me back. Your friend is using her son as that tie to keep the family together. Eventually, the son will come to an understanding why she took the path she did.