Are you Scorpio females receptive to being a FWB?

Posted by Neno2

Posted by WaterDevil
So Im a cancer sun, sag moon, libra rising female (lesbian).

She's a scorpio sun, sag moon, virgo rising(lesbian)

I went out with her a month ago. We got along great. Made out a little in my car. Laughed. I showed her a really good time and I think she really liked me. HOWEVER. Im still in love with a pisces, and the scorpio just didn't give me "THAT" feeling. I didn't want to hurt the scorpio's feelings or string her along. So I stayed kind of distant yet friendly with her if she contacted me. Which wasn't often. I did invite her out that following weekend to come to a friend's party with her friend. And she flaked which I was fine with. But I was going to tell her in person that I'm not emotionally available right now. Though I really enjoyed her company and would like to stay friends.

Shes a friend of a friend's friend of mine, but we met on tinder ironically.

She has been liking/following me on everything on social media.. which tells me there is probably still interest there.

She wished me a happy birthday on the 22nd. I just politely thanked her. And that was that.

We talked again, texted this morning flirting with the idea of hanging out tonight... And Id like to ask her, in person, if she was interested at all in a friends with benefits situation....

Its just what I honestly want.. and I feel like she could potentially be open to the idea. Also I don't want to play games and pretend I want more. I don't. So my question is, how do most of you feel about FWB situations if there is no emotional attachment? I take deep consideration the fact that You guys are water signs, and as a water sign my self, I understands emotions run DEEP... But I figure if im up front, Im not leaving room to hurt her, right?... And we have only been on one date, so there couldn't have been any sort of emotional bond yet... At least I didn't feel it. Otherwise I wouldn't even suggest it.

Everyone with sag moon has potential for that

click to expand

Posted by MyStarsShine
No

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by MyStarsShine
No

Why not?

click to expand

Posted by Infinite8
Not to be repetitive... but, yeah... Star and Dee said it best.

I think a FWB would bring out the worst in me. I've never tried that and never felt the inclination to do so ??‍♀️

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by WaterDevil
Thanks for your input.. would anyone be insulted if asked though? If it's genuine and honest?..

Can you explain by what you mean when you say "it's genuine and honest"?

There are many that are genuinely honest when they are ALSO being insulting ??‍♀️... see what I mean?

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Posted by TachibanaSan
crab, you are not fair.

you still pine for fish,

yet want to use scorp

for sexual relief only.

do you see us as the

sexual benefit only?

scorpios love deeply.

pisces are for the sex.

you have it backward.

your crab heart hurts

for a really true lover.

your sag parts want

to sex feelings away.

but you cant approach

scorpios lighly this way.

deal with your feelings

for pisces correctly.

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove
I wouldn't be insulted if the person presented it as you intend to, @WaterDevil - honest, respectful, and they had gotten to know me in person as a friend and were fine either way with whatever my answer was. In other words, they'd still want to be friends if my answer was no. My answer might be yes, possibly. But, I would feel sad if I had romantic feelings for them, because no way could it work for me then.

If Sag placements are at work at all, yes, I have them - Sag Mercury and Neptune conjunct in the 7th house. My 7th house is ruled by Scorpio, so the house is intercepted. My Scorpio sun is in the 7th house too.

This is so interesting to me. All that Sag energy might be the culprit!

There is a part of me that actually thinks I can handle a FWB - perhaps because of my Libra Air bits? But, when I think about the details of it, it just wouldn't work at all because I honestly wouldn't be a friend - I would be very cold about the matter.

I find myself unable to care at that level and yet not get emotionally affected.

My Leo moon would require me to feel like my partners best plus one and only. All my Scorpio bits wouldn't be able to handle all the casual feelings I am SUPPOSED TO have - because in reality, they would become intense if I have sex with someone I care about as a friend. They would no longer be a friend.

Lol... no, no, no... I would be the worst candidate for a FWB ?

click to expand

Posted by WaterDevil

Posted by TachibanaSan
crab, you are not fair.

you still pine for fish,

yet want to use scorp

for sexual relief only.

do you see us as the

sexual benefit only?

scorpios love deeply.

pisces are for the sex.

you have it backward.

your crab heart hurts

for a really true lover.

your sag parts want

to sex feelings away.

but you cant approach

scorpios lighly this way.

deal with your feelings

for pisces correctly.

I do see your point. But it's all relative don't you think?

click to expand

Posted by WaterDevil

Well... I GENUINELY enjoyed her as a person. And there was JUST enough sexual chemistry there where it could be fun. But for the most part. I don't ever even think of a FWB situation if I don't see potential there. When we were on our date. I already knew I didn't want to take it further as far as love goes. But I am seriously interested in her as a person with or without the FWB situation. I don't want to come off as sleezy... Im just sexualy open to trying alternative relationships in my life. And I want to come from a place of "hey I really enjoyed spending time with you, but Im not emotionally available and I didn't want to string you along as to leave you vulnerable to emotionally invest in me. But there is chemistry there that is rare for me.. and Id like to explore a FWB relationship with you. Be friends who have sex, and experiment, and just have fun. I don't ask this question often, nor do I think about it often. i just see something to explore here. And for me it's genuine interest in her.. just not as I originally intended it to be.

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove
I wouldn't be insulted if the person presented it as you intend to, @WaterDevil - honest, respectful, and they had gotten to know me in person as a friend and were fine either way with whatever my answer was. In other words, they'd still want to be friends if my answer was no. My answer might be yes, possibly. But, I would feel sad if I had romantic feelings for them, because no way could it work for me then.

If Sag placements are at work at all, yes, I have them - Sag Mercury and Neptune conjunct in the 7th house. My 7th house is ruled by Scorpio, so the house is intercepted. My Scorpio sun is in the 7th house too.

This is so interesting to me. All that Sag energy might be the culprit!

There is a part of me that actually thinks I can handle a FWB - perhaps because of my Libra Air bits? But, when I think about the details of it, it just wouldn't work at all because I honestly wouldn't be a friend - I would be very cold about the matter.

I find myself unable to care at that level and yet not get emotionally affected.

My Leo moon would require me to feel like my partners best plus one and only. All my Scorpio bits wouldn't be able to handle all the casual feelings I am SUPPOSED TO have - because in reality, they would become intense if I have sex with someone I care about as a friend. They would no longer be a friend.

Lol... no, no, no... I would be the worst candidate for a FWB ?

Thanks for sharing your views! I respect them and I can understand why it might not work for a lot of people.

I think the key, for me, is that the feelings aren't shallow or detached, they just aren't romantic. Any time I've had a relationship of this kind it has been with someone I've known quite well. There was trust and caring because it was a good friendship, plus mutual physical attraction, but no romantic feelings on both sides. It was always monogamous and relatively short term with the sexual part of the relationship

When I read how many people describe FWB, often there doesn't seem to be a true friendship underlying the relationship, so I think that the term is kind of a mess as it's often used.

Yes of course! I don't mean to judge, I'm just asking because I'm curious and want to try to understand it as well.

I'm in agreement with you, that most people that do it, really don't have that much friendship, trust or respect involved. I could see how that could make a huge difference.

I was trying to imagine what you described and tried to imagine myself doing it - and I think the hardest part for me or the part that seems unnatural to my behavior is to be able to combine:

-caring deeply for a person

-be physically attracted to that same person

-have deep trust / bond

-be monogamous

And not get romantic feelings or jealous of the person leaves me without warning for someone else. I don't know how to be casual.

I think I could only do it if:

- I found him physically hot but mentally stupid... but then, I'm not sure if o would be grossed out afterwards because I just had sex with someone I didn't view as the best.... DAMN!! It's my Leo mars!!

Omg... it's my mars! I have to have sex with what I consider the best.

Lol... I think my mind wants to believe I can do something like this, but in the end... it wouldn't work out. I think I become very picky when it comes to sex and I measure it up (I know, sounds awful... but I think that is what happens) - so if I see a flaw (reason I have no romantic feelings) then, I just don't want to have sex with them. I can play around - but not the full deed.

Are you by any chance mutable dominant? I am also fixed dominant and have almost no mutable energy (1% I think).

Thanks for sharing!! I think the way you do it sounds very healthy... especially because you know neither party will hurt the other party.

But how did it feel the first time you did it?!?? Did you just go for it and then surprise yourself that you could handle it? Or did you have some trepidation to the unknown but since your experience was good, the fear went away?

click to expand

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove
I wouldn't be insulted if the person presented it as you intend to, @WaterDevil - honest, respectful, and they had gotten to know me in person as a friend and were fine either way with whatever my answer was. In other words, they'd still want to be friends if my answer was no. My answer might be yes, possibly. But, I would feel sad if I had romantic feelings for them, because no way could it work for me then.

If Sag placements are at work at all, yes, I have them - Sag Mercury and Neptune conjunct in the 7th house. My 7th house is ruled by Scorpio, so the house is intercepted. My Scorpio sun is in the 7th house too.

This is so interesting to me. All that Sag energy might be the culprit!

There is a part of me that actually thinks I can handle a FWB - perhaps because of my Libra Air bits? But, when I think about the details of it, it just wouldn't work at all because I honestly wouldn't be a friend - I would be very cold about the matter.

I find myself unable to care at that level and yet not get emotionally affected.

My Leo moon would require me to feel like my partners best plus one and only. All my Scorpio bits wouldn't be able to handle all the casual feelings I am SUPPOSED TO have - because in reality, they would become intense if I have sex with someone I care about as a friend. They would no longer be a friend.

Lol... no, no, no... I would be the worst candidate for a FWB ?

Thanks for sharing your views! I respect them and I can understand why it might not work for a lot of people.

I think the key, for me, is that the feelings aren't shallow or detached, they just aren't romantic. Any time I've had a relationship of this kind it has been with someone I've known quite well. There was trust and caring because it was a good friendship, plus mutual physical attraction, but no romantic feelings on both sides. It was always monogamous and relatively short term with the sexual part of the relationship

When I read how many people describe FWB, often there doesn't seem to be a true friendship underlying the relationship, so I think that the term is kind of a mess as it's often used.

Yes of course! I don't mean to judge, I'm just asking because I'm curious and want to try to understand it as well.

I'm in agreement with you, that most people that do it, really don't have that much friendship, trust or respect involved. I could see how that could make a huge difference.

I was trying to imagine what you described and tried to imagine myself doing it - and I think the hardest part for me or the part that seems unnatural to my behavior is to be able to combine:

-caring deeply for a person

-be physically attracted to that same person

-have deep trust / bond

-be monogamous

And not get romantic feelings or jealous of the person leaves me without warning for someone else. I don't know how to be casual.

I think I could only do it if:

- I found him physically hot but mentally stupid... but then, I'm not sure if o would be grossed out afterwards because I just had sex with someone I didn't view as the best.... DAMN!! It's my Leo mars!!

Omg... it's my mars! I have to have sex with what I consider the best.

Lol... I think my mind wants to believe I can do something like this, but in the end... it wouldn't work out. I think I become very picky when it comes to sex and I measure it up (I know, sounds awful... but I think that is what happens) - so if I see a flaw (reason I have no romantic feelings) then, I just don't want to have sex with them. I can play around - but not the full deed.

Are you by any chance mutable dominant? I am also fixed dominant and have almost no mutable energy (1% I think).

Thanks for sharing!! I think the way you do it sounds very healthy... especially because you know neither party will hurt the other party.

But how did it feel the first time you did it?!?? Did you just go for it and then surprise yourself that you could handle it? Or did you have some trepidation to the unknown but since your experience was good, the fear went away?

No problem, thanks for the questions and descriptions of why it doesn't seem like something that would work for you! I would never try to convince anyone to try it if it's really counter to what feels natural for them.

Definitely always there was respect and trust in the relationships of this kind that I was in, and that makes a huge difference. I'm really grateful for it, particularly because so often when I read people's accounts of FWBs, there is a lot of confusion and dishonesty going on.

Being physically intimate doesn't trigger romantic feelings in me like it does for some people, so that's probably a big dividing line between being okay with this kind of relationship vs not. But, I do need to care about and trust a man in order to feel comfortable with being sexual with him, so it isn't that casual for me (no one night stands with people I barely know, in other words).

It's somewhat rare for me to feel enough physical attraction to someone to be sexual with them in the first place, and even rarer to have romantic attraction.

I don't seem to be as possessive as a lot of Scorpio people are. I also don't tend to feel jealous much -- it's pretty mild when I do, maybe because I quickly go straight to the source, identifying that I'm feeling insecure for some reason and I tackle that fast internally.

Yes, I'm mutable dominant in Pullen despite my Scorpio sun, Venus and Jupiter conjunction, and my Taurus rising and Saturn conjunction. :-)

The first time it happened was when I was a teenager. I was ~18 and so was the friend. Aqua sun guy, but I don't know his other placements because I don't have his birthday recorded. It just kind of happened, yes, without anything formal at first being said. We didn't have intercourse, but we were sexual. We were both a bit surprised but okay with it, then we had a discussion about not knowing how to define our relationship. FWB as a term didn't exist back then. It wasn't something I discussed with other people, aside from my best friend who I could trust. So yes, I guess because that worked out reasonably well, I was open to it happening again. I didn't seek it consciously, though.

Yeah... I've heard of many bad experiences of FWB where one always falls for the other or one ditches the other and gets a stable relationship while the one left feels abandoned. I don't know, just bad cases where the ability to separate romantic feelings /commitment with sex seems impossible for many.

But I have heard of a few cases where there was more care and respect and funnily enough they were all Pisces males. So maybe that is why I associate this with mutable behavior.

That's interesting... so for you, the physical and the emotional/romance are completely different categories or put in different boxes and compartmentalized?

Yes!! If you are not possessive or jealous, that would definitely make the process easier! I think there are degrees that differ depending on the Scorp; some are extreme and perhaps you are on the other end? I might be a quarter more jealous and possessive than you ?.

I also try to tackle it... but no where near your level. It seems like you have no reaction at all... whereas I would feel like erupting and have to take a few walks before I cool down and decide on how to handle the situation...lol. Or if I'm devastated - go disappear and cry for a very long time


Thank you so much for yor taking the time in sharing your experiences and perspective ??

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Posted by WaterDevil
Thanks for your input.. would anyone be insulted if asked though? If it's genuine and honest?..

Posted by MysteriousDreamer
I've tried the friends with benefits before, but I'll never do it again. I'm just not wired that way. I can't just detach myself and not catch feelings. I've ended up very very hurt and heartbroken over a friends with benefits I thought I could handle. Guess what? I can't handle it. Lol. Had to learn the hard way. So now I'm very upfront with guys and I let them know right off the bat that I don't do that casual crap. If they don't respect me enough to wait until we are committed to each other or if they don't want more than just casual sex and friendship with me then they aren't the guy for me. Simple as that.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by WaterDevil

Well... I GENUINELY enjoyed her as a person. And there was JUST enough sexual chemistry there where it could be fun. But for the most part. I don't ever even think of a FWB situation if I don't see potential there. When we were on our date. I already knew I didn't want to take it further as far as love goes. But I am seriously interested in her as a person with or without the FWB situation. I don't want to come off as sleezy... Im just sexualy open to trying alternative relationships in my life. And I want to come from a place of "hey I really enjoyed spending time with you, but Im not emotionally available and I didn't want to string you along as to leave you vulnerable to emotionally invest in me. But there is chemistry there that is rare for me.. and Id like to explore a FWB relationship with you. Be friends who have sex, and experiment, and just have fun. I don't ask this question often, nor do I think about it often. i just see something to explore here. And for me it's genuine interest in her.. just not as I originally intended it to be.

You're contradicting yourself and unintentionally (or intentionally) being wishy washy with your words, which will give her the wrong message.

If you can't even propose the relationship correctly, I would suggest I you just leave it alone and remain friends without benefits. This will get messy.

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Posted by Stensco21
Hell no. That's an insult to a person. Saying their not good enough for you to care just use their body. Are sag moons really hoes?

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove
I wouldn't be insulted if the person presented it as you intend to, @WaterDevil - honest, respectful, and they had gotten to know me in person as a friend and were fine either way with whatever my answer was. In other words, they'd still want to be friends if my answer was no. My answer might be yes, possibly. But, I would feel sad if I had romantic feelings for them, because no way could it work for me then.

If Sag placements are at work at all, yes, I have them - Sag Mercury and Neptune conjunct in the 7th house. My 7th house is ruled by Scorpio, so the house is intercepted. My Scorpio sun is in the 7th house too.

This is so interesting to me. All that Sag energy might be the culprit!

There is a part of me that actually thinks I can handle a FWB - perhaps because of my Libra Air bits? But, when I think about the details of it, it just wouldn't work at all because I honestly wouldn't be a friend - I would be very cold about the matter.

I find myself unable to care at that level and yet not get emotionally affected.

My Leo moon would require me to feel like my partners best plus one and only. All my Scorpio bits wouldn't be able to handle all the casual feelings I am SUPPOSED TO have - because in reality, they would become intense if I have sex with someone I care about as a friend. They would no longer be a friend.

Lol... no, no, no... I would be the worst candidate for a FWB ?

Thanks for sharing your views! I respect them and I can understand why it might not work for a lot of people.

I think the key, for me, is that the feelings aren't shallow or detached, they just aren't romantic. Any time I've had a relationship of this kind it has been with someone I've known quite well. There was trust and caring because it was a good friendship, plus mutual physical attraction, but no romantic feelings on both sides. It was always monogamous and relatively short term with the sexual part of the relationship

When I read how many people describe FWB, often there doesn't seem to be a true friendship underlying the relationship, so I think that the term is kind of a mess as it's often used.

Yes of course! I don't mean to judge, I'm just asking because I'm curious and want to try to understand it as well.

I'm in agreement with you, that most people that do it, really don't have that much friendship, trust or respect involved. I could see how that could make a huge difference.

I was trying to imagine what you described and tried to imagine myself doing it - and I think the hardest part for me or the part that seems unnatural to my behavior is to be able to combine:

-caring deeply for a person

-be physically attracted to that same person

-have deep trust / bond

-be monogamous

And not get romantic feelings or jealous of the person leaves me without warning for someone else. I don't know how to be casual.

I think I could only do it if:

- I found him physically hot but mentally stupid... but then, I'm not sure if o would be grossed out afterwards because I just had sex with someone I didn't view as the best.... DAMN!! It's my Leo mars!!

Omg... it's my mars! I have to have sex with what I consider the best.

Lol... I think my mind wants to believe I can do something like this, but in the end... it wouldn't work out. I think I become very picky when it comes to sex and I measure it up (I know, sounds awful... but I think that is what happens) - so if I see a flaw (reason I have no romantic feelings) then, I just don't want to have sex with them. I can play around - but not the full deed.

Are you by any chance mutable dominant? I am also fixed dominant and have almost no mutable energy (1% I think).

Thanks for sharing!! I think the way you do it sounds very healthy... especially because you know neither party will hurt the other party.

But how did it feel the first time you did it?!?? Did you just go for it and then surprise yourself that you could handle it? Or did you have some trepidation to the unknown but since your experience was good, the fear went away?

No problem, thanks for the questions and descriptions of why it doesn't seem like something that would work for you! I would never try to convince anyone to try it if it's really counter to what feels natural for them.

Definitely always there was respect and trust in the relationships of this kind that I was in, and that makes a huge difference. I'm really grateful for it, particularly because so often when I read people's accounts of FWBs, there is a lot of confusion and dishonesty going on.

Being physically intimate doesn't trigger romantic feelings in me like it does for some people, so that's probably a big dividing line between being okay with this kind of relationship vs not. But, I do need to care about and trust a man in order to feel comfortable with being sexual with him, so it isn't that casual for me (no one night stands with people I barely know, in other words).

It's somewhat rare for me to feel enough physical attraction to someone to be sexual with them in the first place, and even rarer to have romantic attraction.

I don't seem to be as possessive as a lot of Scorpio people are. I also don't tend to feel jealous much -- it's pretty mild when I do, maybe because I quickly go straight to the source, identifying that I'm feeling insecure for some reason and I tackle that fast internally.

Yes, I'm mutable dominant in Pullen despite my Scorpio sun, Venus and Jupiter conjunction, and my Taurus rising and Saturn conjunction. :-)

The first time it happened was when I was a teenager. I was ~18 and so was the friend. Aqua sun guy, but I don't know his other placements because I don't have his birthday recorded. It just kind of happened, yes, without anything formal at first being said. We didn't have intercourse, but we were sexual. We were both a bit surprised but okay with it, then we had a discussion about not knowing how to define our relationship. FWB as a term didn't exist back then. It wasn't something I discussed with other people, aside from my best friend who I could trust. So yes, I guess because that worked out reasonably well, I was open to it happening again. I didn't seek it consciously, though.

Yeah... I've heard of many bad experiences of FWB where one always falls for the other or one ditches the other and gets a stable relationship while the one left feels abandoned. I don't know, just bad cases where the ability to separate romantic feelings /commitment with sex seems impossible for many.

But I have heard of a few cases where there was more care and respect and funnily enough they were all Pisces males. So maybe that is why I associate this with mutable behavior.

That's interesting... so for you, the physical and the emotional/romance are completely different categories or put in different boxes and compartmentalized?

Yes!! If you are not possessive or jealous, that would definitely make the process easier! I think there are degrees that differ depending on the Scorp; some are extreme and perhaps you are on the other end? I might be a quarter more jealous and possessive than you ?.

I also try to tackle it... but no where near your level. It seems like you have no reaction at all... whereas I would feel like erupting and have to take a few walks before I cool down and decide on how to handle the situation...lol. Or if I'm devastated - go disappear and cry for a very long time


Thank you so much for yor taking the time in sharing your experiences and perspective ??

click to expand

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove
I wouldn't be insulted if the person presented it as you intend to, @WaterDevil - honest, respectful, and they had gotten to know me in person as a friend and were fine either way with whatever my answer was. In other words, they'd still want to be friends if my answer was no. My answer might be yes, possibly. But, I would feel sad if I had romantic feelings for them, because no way could it work for me then.

If Sag placements are at work at all, yes, I have them - Sag Mercury and Neptune conjunct in the 7th house. My 7th house is ruled by Scorpio, so the house is intercepted. My Scorpio sun is in the 7th house too.

This is so interesting to me. All that Sag energy might be the culprit!

There is a part of me that actually thinks I can handle a FWB - perhaps because of my Libra Air bits? But, when I think about the details of it, it just wouldn't work at all because I honestly wouldn't be a friend - I would be very cold about the matter.

I find myself unable to care at that level and yet not get emotionally affected.

My Leo moon would require me to feel like my partners best plus one and only. All my Scorpio bits wouldn't be able to handle all the casual feelings I am SUPPOSED TO have - because in reality, they would become intense if I have sex with someone I care about as a friend. They would no longer be a friend.

Lol... no, no, no... I would be the worst candidate for a FWB ?

Thanks for sharing your views! I respect them and I can understand why it might not work for a lot of people.

I think the key, for me, is that the feelings aren't shallow or detached, they just aren't romantic. Any time I've had a relationship of this kind it has been with someone I've known quite well. There was trust and caring because it was a good friendship, plus mutual physical attraction, but no romantic feelings on both sides. It was always monogamous and relatively short term with the sexual part of the relationship

When I read how many people describe FWB, often there doesn't seem to be a true friendship underlying the relationship, so I think that the term is kind of a mess as it's often used.

Yes of course! I don't mean to judge, I'm just asking because I'm curious and want to try to understand it as well.

I'm in agreement with you, that most people that do it, really don't have that much friendship, trust or respect involved. I could see how that could make a huge difference.

I was trying to imagine what you described and tried to imagine myself doing it - and I think the hardest part for me or the part that seems unnatural to my behavior is to be able to combine:

-caring deeply for a person

-be physically attracted to that same person

-have deep trust / bond

-be monogamous

And not get romantic feelings or jealous of the person leaves me without warning for someone else. I don't know how to be casual.

I think I could only do it if:

- I found him physically hot but mentally stupid... but then, I'm not sure if o would be grossed out afterwards because I just had sex with someone I didn't view as the best.... DAMN!! It's my Leo mars!!

Omg... it's my mars! I have to have sex with what I consider the best.

Lol... I think my mind wants to believe I can do something like this, but in the end... it wouldn't work out. I think I become very picky when it comes to sex and I measure it up (I know, sounds awful... but I think that is what happens) - so if I see a flaw (reason I have no romantic feelings) then, I just don't want to have sex with them. I can play around - but not the full deed.

Are you by any chance mutable dominant? I am also fixed dominant and have almost no mutable energy (1% I think).

Thanks for sharing!! I think the way you do it sounds very healthy... especially because you know neither party will hurt the other party.

But how did it feel the first time you did it?!?? Did you just go for it and then surprise yourself that you could handle it? Or did you have some trepidation to the unknown but since your experience was good, the fear went away?

click to expand

Posted by Infinite8
@CopperDove -

Lol... I was joking about the hot stupid guy, actually! That in itself would turn me off and I would be disinterested. So, I don't think I could even make out with a guy like that!! I could mess around if he's hot and a bit of a player with wit though - but I'd never have sex.

Yeah, you have the ability to seperate the act of sex with feelings of love. I don't think that happens very often for females. But perhaps the newer generations are also able to disconnect as you do?

Every one is different and I find it important to always respect differences. If it is something that works for you and makes you happy, I see no issue with your choices!

The only issue I have is when people do it to please, or to follow a trend. For you, it seems like it was an internal need. It's totally different.

Posted by oxygenthief
What a dick.

Posted by Infinite8

Posted by CopperDove

@Infinite8

I love the way that you used the gun emojii, lol!

Yes, different requirements - prerequisites - is a good way to describe it. With both of us, there needs to be more than a superficial connection, I'd say, even though some of the details are different.

Definitely the first person was the most risky, and because there was trust there wasn't a negative consequence (for example, he didn't spread it around that it was going on, putting me at risk for being judged).

I agree that likely there aren't more women who are okay with this now, it's just more open. When I was in high school I heard speculations about things like this going on between friends, but I never directly asked anyone about it to know if that was true.

?... I'm glad you liked the watergun emoji. I find it funny too and at the same time it clearly describes how I would feel...lol

Honestly I'm super excited that I finally understood!! Hahaha... I finally get it!

????Bravo to us making an effort!! Thank you for helping me see the other perspective more clearly ??

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