Hard to figure out. Thoughts? (Page 3)

Stupid phone!!! Gem, trying getting a dbt workbook it may help you

Posted by Arielle83
Straight up it ain't going to work with any older man for you because you are thinking too damn high school. If you keep listing all the things he does for you and saying it to validate your wishes that this is going to work, well it's all one sided. If you put nothing into the relationship, but being there...well a man is going to become bored. You mention he pays for everything, well if you want equality, you should be treating him as well. His financial contribution does not mean you are in a relationship, he is a grown ass man and knows things need to be paid. I get it that you like the attention he pays you, but you are who he is seeing now...

He has control of the relationship because he is older and you are left questioning where you stand. It won't be clear for at least a few more months perhaps...

You should really adapt the 90 day rule...that is that you don't put a label or ask any questions about where you stand with someone because YOU need to see who this person is. You are now seeing how he is with you and it's too early to make any commitment...things should be natural. If you're the one who is rushing it just reveals a need for security from the other person. It appears he can't give that to you right now because he doesn't feel like it is his place yet to be that one you want.

True, I should do this. I'm not going to harp on him anymore about that, the 90 day rule is good. I'm trying to think of ways that I could give back to him that won't involve money, even if I made just $ 30k a year I would treat him some but I don't even make that...I have maybe $ 100-300ish in between paychecks which is next to nothing, he owns his own company. This doesn't mean he's obligated to buy everything, but I don't have any extra money. I don't expect 5 star or fancy, I'm appreciative over a mere starbucks drink. I am currently looking for a new job in my field; it's just not easy with government jobs and the demand is high. Last time, I came close. Top 10, but just 4 spots: the process took 4 months to find out I didn't get it!

What are some things I can do for him? I would love to cook for him, but I'm going to need to be very specific because he's on the gluten free/no dairy kick, it's hard to cook like that.


Also, as a Scorpio male, what do you guys look for in a woman?

I hope this is not true. He seems as though he is pretty guarded, he has already committed to more in a short time than boyfriends I've had, well official ones.

I'm iffy on commitment. I like titles but then I would be fine if I didn't get married or ever had kids. If I got married, I would need to be with someone 5-10 years. It's nowhere on my priority list however, I don't see it in the near future.

I was only in love with one man before, and I'm pretty sure at least the first 1.5 years I tossed around the idea of breaking up every month because I was "unsure", I was also very young and wanted him to reassure me.

I really need to slow down and breathe. During the week he's really busy with his business, we talked during the day and then it was a few hours before he got back to me. Like 6, but he did get back to me...like he always has. I just tend to freak out. My Gemini best male friend has a Scorpy moon and he's my counselor just about. He kept telling me it's okay, he's busy, and he will respond. Cancer best friend says freak out after days go by, not hours and if dont chill then I will lose him. I need to relax.

Oh but it's so hard! My friend was explaining stats, he could be really busy for a day or 2 and be not as responsive and then he will be really talkative. I will think he doesn't care then I will change my mind. Friend says I cannot base it off a few slower days.

I also can get involved very fast, push for title, then realize I don't REALLY like that person(like last guy)So just slow, I guess.

I can also not let things developed. I was dating this much older Virgo who really liked me but he wasnt into daily communication, it was just his personality. I decided it was too much and immediately cut it off. I have this flight reaction where I feel if it's not 100% what I want, or I feel like they are distanced (people get busy) I freak out and call the whole thing off. It's just easier for me I guess. I need to really fight that urge.

I need to remember not everyone is as hot and cold as me

Yes I see that issue...it seems like once I get the title I'm also even more wishy washy. I'm eager to push, before I'm even sure.

I've gotten better about this, but it also used to be for jobs. I would think a relationship would end if there was a bad day, lack of communication, or a disagreement, same with getting yelled at for a job. I was always professional and filled out a 2 weeks, but I would leave before I feared they would fire me. I've had longterm jobs and I've been at my current job for almost 2 years, but even after I get in trouble or talked to...I fear I am coming close to the end. I fear this with relationships too but then if it's TOO good, I look for flaws and wonder when it will mess up, I HATE this about myself.

The last Scorpio was not a right fit. But I convinced myself into feelings I didn't have and lured him into a sense of security, just when he got to the point where he could fully trust me and opened up his feelings I completely flipped to the other end and ended it without a drop of the hat. I didn't do this intentionally. He was burned, but he's ok now. We've talked sense and have remained friends.

Posted by Agentgem24

Then I asked about a "title" tonight.

Stupid of me as I am not even sure I'm ready for it!

Women these days seem to be obsessed with quantity, rather than quality.


Whatever happened to ....

Posted by Agentgem24

Well everything has been going great ....

click to expand

"it"


The beauty of the bond has been reduced to "it" ..... the female wants a title, for "it"



Sad, really

The relationship has been going great? I say it a lot. "How is your day?" "It's great!"

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by Agentgem24

Then I asked about a "title" tonight.

Stupid of me as I am not even sure I'm ready for it!

Women these days seem to be obsessed with quantity, rather than quality.


Whatever happened to ....

Posted by Agentgem24

Well everything has been going great ....

click to expand

That is very true. I've seen myself to that many times. Trying to move away from that insecure behavior, really ruins shit.

Yeah I know! I need to stop. Honestly, I was FINE before I asked. I'm just so damn curious. And now while things may be the same,I feel all weird and like I'm walking on egg shells. And I know it's all me. I don't know how to stop feeling this way

Well it's not that he doesn't want it, if he didn't want it all he wouldn't have agreed to be exclusive with me or let me stay every weekend at his house, see him during the week, be seen all over town and the Internet(pics etc) and tell people we were seeing eachother including all his friends.

He seems genuinely afraid. It's only been a little while and I think I will take everyone's advice and TRY to go with the flow.

The dude goes to all of my friends things that require a plus one and is helping me move, plus cooks for me and tells me how much he likes me.

I just think his work is #1 and until he's satisfied with where he is in his career and life, he won't be able to devote fully to someone.

I don't mind committing to a certain extent, but my career hasn't even started yet and I will not give it up for anyone

Well time is also a factor, 7 weeks is not long

After all, he was chasing me for quite a few months and I turned him down on numerous occasions. I thought he was gay too. I told him once when he asked what I was doing one night before we started seeing eachother "getting ready for a date". The first night he and I hung out, he brought a friend. While they went out before me, I got someone's number in the bar. And also after our first date, I saw someone...

But he agreed to be exclusive and knows how I feel. I'm fine how things are now, he treats me great, I enjoy his company, and so long as he's committed to me and not seeing other girls etc I'm happy.

Someone refered to him as my bf the other night, he didn't object.

I'm not sure why the title is an issue.

My male friends said waaay too soon to push. I'm one of the only girls he's dated and been exclusive with that he hasn't already been friends with for awhile, he's still getting to know me.

One of my friends and her bf (both Aries) were exclusive and committed for 6 months before he felt comfortable using the title with them, she said pretty close to same thing for me. And they even had been friends awhile prior.

Posted by mermaid0315



Women these days seem to be obsessed with quantity, rather than quality.


I agree. It's sad. 😢

But this is probably the first time in history so many CHOICES have been available to women,too.