How to tell a scorpio you need space
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by mr7sally on Saturday, September 8, 2007 and has 48 replies.
Im married to a scorpio male and im a Gemini female. He used to be addidcted to golf .. no more golf and his addiction is on me... Now!!! he wants my aattention at all times. Doesn't want me to do things with my girl friend... No more " girls night out"... He wants me to end a relationship that i have with a girlfriend because he doesn't like the company she keeps.
I feel like im sufficating and i need help
I feel like im sufficating and i need help
Everybody processes things differently .. if I were in your position and out of nowhere my man suddenly became jealous and possessive, my mind would look at motivation .. guilt can destroy.
You should just sit him down, and in a loving tone say "hun, I feel your demanding too much of my attention. You know I love you to bits but I am also a human being and I need to be allowed to grow outside of our love nest. This doesn't mean I am leaving you, on the contrary, you allowing me freedom will make me love you even more than I do now. However you stopping me from doing this just entrap me...and as you know entrapment never really helped anyone...I hope you understand and I am here to listen to your concerns whatever they are"
but....sally, theres an aq--....??
lady m im a sweet gemini female that needs her space..
missmorals , he gave me a quilt trip that he changed for me
missmorals , he gave me a quilt trip that he changed for me
Did you at any stage ask him to do this or even hint at him having fun or not giving you enough attention?
i feel he is an intelligent scorpio and he should know how i feel...He is happy now because he is winning and its not fair to me
No, he stop playing golf on his own .. And now the addiction is on me
We owned a small bussiness he was playing golf instead of going to clients.. the result of that lead to fincial problem.. I never told him to stop !! Just not as much...
the botom line with him is controll over me...
I also forgot to tell was ... We are married for 18 years ...
I also forgot to tell was ... We are married for 18 years ...
Ok golf aside, have you ever felt he hasn't given you enough attention or hinted at him to do so? Its not fair of him to demand this...however I feel he wouldn't be unless he had a good reason to. Also there may be a chance of him not having an addiction like you say and he needs to fill this void but turning his attention to you.
It can also be about control..I'll give you an example of my own...when I was with the Leo..(long term( he used to DJ every friday night..now for a scorpio girl this is a living nightmare as every living girl throws themselves at dj's...on top of that he was a good looking guy..so I really did wear him out by saying he gives his music too much attention and not me and if he loved me he wouldn't feel the need to have the ego boosted by chicks throwing themselves at him etc....in the end..he gave it up..whether it was for me or not I don't know but he did...and you know what, I preferred it when he did his own thing rather than spend all hours stuck to me. Hmmm..we can be a selfish bunch..
It can also be about control..I'll give you an example of my own...when I was with the Leo..(long term( he used to DJ every friday night..now for a scorpio girl this is a living nightmare as every living girl throws themselves at dj's...on top of that he was a good looking guy..so I really did wear him out by saying he gives his music too much attention and not me and if he loved me he wouldn't feel the need to have the ego boosted by chicks throwing themselves at him etc....in the end..he gave it up..whether it was for me or not I don't know but he did...and you know what, I preferred it when he did his own thing rather than spend all hours stuck to me. Hmmm..we can be a selfish bunch..
I think its quite irresponsible not looking after the family business..but again was it something he wanted to do or he somehow fell into it...
It may be difficult to tell him you need space. It will be much better if you just take time to yourself and give a reason why. Like, if you want to go to the mall without him, just simply create a reason -- it doesn't have to be lie.
Yes scorps like truths, but their is a certain way you handle telling them the truth.
Yes scorps like truths, but their is a certain way you handle telling them the truth.
Guilt ..
yes you are correct when you said, " Also there may be a chance of him not having an addiction like you say and he needs to fill this void but turning his attention to you".
But is this fair to me.... I never, "felt he hasn't given you enough attention or hinted at him to do so?" Every friend i have it always somthing he see in them he doesn't like ... I know they say the scorpio can read people very well however not everone is perfect.. He must trust me..
Thank you, by talking with you i can understand better he will notand doesn't have the abilty to change that part about him, it would taking away a lung for him
But is this fair to me.... I never, "felt he hasn't given you enough attention or hinted at him to do so?" Every friend i have it always somthing he see in them he doesn't like ... I know they say the scorpio can read people very well however not everone is perfect.. He must trust me..
Thank you, by talking with you i can understand better he will notand doesn't have the abilty to change that part about him, it would taking away a lung for him
cappysweetie: I've given him the truth, we have fun, we laugh.. He would say, "How can you have fun with her she is boring person" I tell him to trust me...
He is a true scorpio male that belives a wife should be at home at all times unless he is with her...
"We owned a small bussiness he was playing golf instead of going to clients.. the result of that lead to fincial problem.. I never told him to stop !! Just not as much..."
And so when the business suffered because of him, and you not saying anything to him about his neglect .. it is now you who will have to suffer his guilt for him.
You're his whipping post now ...
You say he should trust you .. why didn't you tell him that his addiction to golf was making the business suffer? Were you the one responsible for tracking the financials?
Trust sometimes, also involves tough love .. we trust our partners to tell us the truth, even if it hurts.
Why didn't you tell him that his neglect was hurting the business?
This is all just guilt .. he doesn't know where to aim it, and he certainly isn't going to fault himself .. you're it.
And so when the business suffered because of him, and you not saying anything to him about his neglect .. it is now you who will have to suffer his guilt for him.
You're his whipping post now ...
You say he should trust you .. why didn't you tell him that his addiction to golf was making the business suffer? Were you the one responsible for tracking the financials?
Trust sometimes, also involves tough love .. we trust our partners to tell us the truth, even if it hurts.
Why didn't you tell him that his neglect was hurting the business?
This is all just guilt .. he doesn't know where to aim it, and he certainly isn't going to fault himself .. you're it.
I hope you work things out..18 years of marriage is a long time and worth holding onto...but by that time, trust should've been established long before now.
However I do have one more suggestion..Scorpios can become bored of routine and everyday mundane things...if something is going too well, we need to cause some kind of havoc to mess things up just for our sick pleasure..When I am bored and frustrated I am guilty of making people suffer..Its not nice at all and I hate it..but I do it..this evil just possesses and can't be helped..when I see a danger of that happening I need to disappear.. to avoid irrevokable damage (is that a word? lol)...
It may seem really bizarre..but I think he needs the space too..more than he's letting on..however he seems to be taking his own frustrations out on you...
However I do have one more suggestion..Scorpios can become bored of routine and everyday mundane things...if something is going too well, we need to cause some kind of havoc to mess things up just for our sick pleasure..When I am bored and frustrated I am guilty of making people suffer..Its not nice at all and I hate it..but I do it..this evil just possesses and can't be helped..when I see a danger of that happening I need to disappear.. to avoid irrevokable damage (is that a word? lol)...
It may seem really bizarre..but I think he needs the space too..more than he's letting on..however he seems to be taking his own frustrations out on you...
And your right..Scorpio men do have a tendency of thinking down the traditional husband/wife roles...lol
You all are correct and that is why im feeling sick, hurt, depressed, and unhappy..
I letting myself go .. Just for comic relief, I wish i was married to that aquarious male you guezz talk about...
I letting myself go .. Just for comic relief, I wish i was married to that aquarious male you guezz talk about...
He is a true scorpio male that belives a wife should be at home at all times unless he is with her...
OOOOH
Had a boyfriend like. I understand, they can make you feel so warm and wonderful and you kinda like that aspect about them, until you want a life of your own
See, that's what I mean. Telling your husband to trust you will only enforce his possessiveness. You need to literally create things in you life that you have to do without him in order to do things by yourself.
You are a gemini, will I'm part Saggie so I undertand the whole "I need space thing". Being joined at the hip with someone that you love can be rough ...
OOOOH
Had a boyfriend like. I understand, they can make you feel so warm and wonderful and you kinda like that aspect about them, until you want a life of your own
See, that's what I mean. Telling your husband to trust you will only enforce his possessiveness. You need to literally create things in you life that you have to do without him in order to do things by yourself.
You are a gemini, will I'm part Saggie so I undertand the whole "I need space thing". Being joined at the hip with someone that you love can be rough ...
LOL..Which Aquarius male?
And don't even start thinking down those lines....I think a relationship is doomed once someone just starts comparing...DON'T DO IT!...
And don't even start thinking down those lines....I think a relationship is doomed once someone just starts comparing...DON'T DO IT!...
so who is the aqua?
He wants me to go out with him tonight ,, and im too depressed to go out.. i told hime to go by hiself... I have'nt shaved my legs , did my hair for days.. He knows im depressed, but he doesn't care.. He keeps on sayiing , Imgoing to make you feel sexy again.. He can't do it he is part of the problem and he does not understand that..
aah okay, maybe he feels a need to be possessive, now that you have a new friend.
Oh dear....this isn't looking good...and he's starting to sound freaky...I am going to make you feel sexy again....lol..please..I will feel sexy if you didn't exist is what my response would be....but don't try that at home!..LOL..
Oh ok...I thought you were talking about the Scorp then...
Sorry..ignore what I just said in that case..
Sorry..ignore what I just said in that case..
I don't have anyone .. I read some of the messages of ,, " How to deal with aquarious man", Aquarious want space, plus i have a friend that is unhappy with her aquairous husband because he never home , she gets to much space.. Why is life not balanced?
now now..lets not start feeling sorry for ourselves..LOL..
You guezz , are making me laugh .. I needed this .. I laugh everyones humor... and i mean it Missmorals i am talking about the Scorpio ,, Im just saying i should of married a Aquarious he will give me all the space i need.. Missmorals you have to read some of the Post about aquarious men, it is sad
Just for comic relief, I wish i was married to that aquarious male you guezz talk about...
Aqua and Geminis go great together. I've noticed that Scorpios and geminis are attracted to each other and can grow to love one another but the love rarely last ... usually it's the gem that loses interest.
Aqua and Geminis go great together. I've noticed that Scorpios and geminis are attracted to each other and can grow to love one another but the love rarely last ... usually it's the gem that loses interest.
"He wants me to go out with him tonight ,, and im too depressed to go out.. i told hime to go by hiself... I have'nt shaved my legs , did my hair for days.. He knows im depressed, but he doesn't care.. He keeps on sayiing , Imgoing to make you feel sexy again.. He can't do it he is part of the problem and he does not understand that.."
You've got to be kidding? You say he doesn't care, yet, he wants you to go out and have a fun sexy night .. instead, you'd rather wallow in depression and say it's his fault. I'm beginning to see this from another angle ..
It just sounds like you are focusing on being depressed because you believe it isn't fair to you to be uplifted unless he puts forth the effort into providing what is fair to you, when in reality .. it's up to you to have the control in your life as to how you are to be treated by him or anybody else. It's not another persons responsibility to make the decision of how you are to be treated. And if you give them that power .. then you set yourself up to suffer the consequences of being a victim.
You've got to be kidding? You say he doesn't care, yet, he wants you to go out and have a fun sexy night .. instead, you'd rather wallow in depression and say it's his fault. I'm beginning to see this from another angle ..
It just sounds like you are focusing on being depressed because you believe it isn't fair to you to be uplifted unless he puts forth the effort into providing what is fair to you, when in reality .. it's up to you to have the control in your life as to how you are to be treated by him or anybody else. It's not another persons responsibility to make the decision of how you are to be treated. And if you give them that power .. then you set yourself up to suffer the consequences of being a victim.
I'm out .. I can't tolerate victim mind-sets .. he wants you to go out and stop crying about being depressed .. you don't want to, you'd rather suffer ..
done ..
done ..
Missmoral your correct, I shouldn't let my scorpio husband make feel and act this way..
How long have you known the aqua?
P-angel , you are correct however, i believe you are a scorpio when someone make u sick or you don't like someone you dont want to be around them .. Well thants how im feeling about not hanging out with him...
Lady M. Im married to an Scorpio, i was making a joke about being with a Aquairous male that will give me all of the space..
Ive been with my scorpio for 21 years high school sweet hearts 17 uyears married
Ive been with my scorpio for 21 years high school sweet hearts 17 uyears married
be careful what you wish for...
Thank you guezz , The converstions went the way i expected.. Just tell P angel, im sorry for making her upset with me and running out
Thank you Myst
"Just tell P angel, im sorry for making her upset with me and running out"
Don't worry about that .. I'm not effected by other people emotionally, unless I choose it to be so.
My leaving had nothing to do with feelings, rather, futility ..
You're a new member here, and came here to address your issues, and probably haven't gotten the reception you expected .. apologies for that. It would probably be more beneficial to you to address this on the Gemini board to find out how other Gem females would handle your situation since they are likely to have similiar emotions. There are several Gem women in here with Scorpio men .. they would probably be able to relate with what you're feeling.
Good Luck.
Don't worry about that .. I'm not effected by other people emotionally, unless I choose it to be so.
My leaving had nothing to do with feelings, rather, futility ..
You're a new member here, and came here to address your issues, and probably haven't gotten the reception you expected .. apologies for that. It would probably be more beneficial to you to address this on the Gemini board to find out how other Gem females would handle your situation since they are likely to have similiar emotions. There are several Gem women in here with Scorpio men .. they would probably be able to relate with what you're feeling.
Good Luck.
I thank you P angel, i was thinking about doing that.. Yes im new everyone is seem to be so helpful ..
My leaving had nothing to do with feelings, rather, futility ..
I hope you had a fun time when you left
thank you again
My leaving had nothing to do with feelings, rather, futility ..
I hope you had a fun time when you left
thank you again
thanks kennyg,
thanks for the suggestion
EG: "My b/f is a scorpio of the intelligent variety and he has no CLUE how I feel half the time. Which is where words really come in handy."
LOL
LOL
hahahahaha ..
Just say it to him directly..no problem.
last friday i lost my nerve (which is rare) with a Gemini friend,i just told her "you are so slutty,dramatic and i am so focking tired of your mood swings (which was the main reason for this anger)"..ofcourse i said everything i feel about her in that statment but i felt bad after that..she needed to know anyway.
last friday i lost my nerve (which is rare) with a Gemini friend,i just told her "you are so slutty,dramatic and i am so focking tired of your mood swings (which was the main reason for this anger)"..ofcourse i said everything i feel about her in that statment but i felt bad after that..she needed to know anyway.
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