Jealousy makes so much sense

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by beggarsblanket on Monday, January 27, 2014 and has 63 replies.
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Do you agree ? When do you get jealous of your gf/bf the most ?
I'd like to rant about my sick scorpio thoughts on this topic..
I'm a scorpio with aries moon and no it's not that easy to make me jealous. Although once I am jealous, it won't pass for a long long time. My cancer ex boyfriend used to get jealous all the time when we were out and used to tell me I should look less sexy when we were out. This one time he said I looked like a whore (and no I really didn't). He also didn't want me to hang out with my boyfriends a lot. Then I thought, he checks out girls all the time, I even suggest watching porn with him, so there is something terribly wrong about this. And I started getting jealous over comments he makes about other women, even on the telly. If I can't express myself the way I want, then why should he get the chance to enjoy other women who do ? Unfortunately, I ended up cheating on him.
Men are worse at this. Especially those who flirt with other girls in front of their girlfriends.(my current bf is guilty of this) Why are you making me jealous ? I'm a girl and it'so much easier for me to make you jealous AND dump you after.. Being in a relationship means that you are supposed to make the other feel special (unless it's a mentally fucked up open relationship).
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You guys are right. But in my case, these guys were jealous first over nothing. There is the problem.
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What is your sign tiziani ?
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Posted by Rabbit
Jealousy is rooted in your own insecurities, as is mistrust.
Someone making a comment about a celebrity they see in a movie or on television shouldn't trigger jealousy in you unless you're already insecure about yourself.
I mean really? So my wife drools over Timothy Olyphant while watching Justified. I don't blame her! Am I worried? Why? Is she going to run off with him?
No.


Oh, I see you haven't seen today's tabloid article on Timothy Olyphant and his new mystery girlfriend....
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Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by Rabbit
Jealousy is rooted in your own insecurities, as is mistrust.
Someone making a comment about a celebrity they see in a movie or on television shouldn't trigger jealousy in you unless you're already insecure about yourself.
I mean really? So my wife drools over Timothy Olyphant while watching Justified. I don't blame her! Am I worried? Why? Is she going to run off with him?
No.


Oh, I see you haven't seen today's tabloid article on Timothy Olyphant and his new mystery girlfriend....
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lol
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If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.
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Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


Talking is not flirting. Trust me, I'm a Scorp. I know what can happen when my guy is talking to another woman--OH the active imagination! However, talking is not flirting. Just keep saying that mantra.
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Ok, so when is that line crossed then ? smile In my case, this girl came up to talk to him and I was standing right there beside him and he was like ' Omg are your eyes greeeen ? ' somewhere along the conversation, so I was like 'okiee' and stormed off into the club and he came back after me and sat me down after I refused to dance with him. He said it was ridiculous and he should be free to flirt with other girls but he was the one who got jealous when he saw there was some chemistry between me and one of his close buddies the previous week. I was just talking and laughing with this guy and he was all ' are you hitting on him ?'
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
A little jealousy won't hurt anybody. I peronally think its cute if a females gets jealous from time to time, its going to the extreme with the jealousy that would make me do the virgo disappearing act.


Virgos understand jealousy, that's the difference. I dated a Virgo and we would know when the other was jealous and later we would talk about it and laugh it off. He liked it when I was jealous which made him possessive in a way. And same for me.
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Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


Talking is not flirting. Trust me, I'm a Scorp. I know what can happen when my guy is talking to another woman--OH the active imagination! However, talking is not flirting. Just keep saying that mantra.


Ok, so when is that line crossed then ? smile In my case, this girl came up to talk to him and I was standing right there beside him and he was like ' Omg are your eyes greeeen ? ' somewhere along the conversation, so I was like 'okiee' and stormed off into the club and he came back after me and sat me down after I refused to dance with him. He said it was ridiculous and he should be free to flirt with other girls but he was the one who got jealous when he saw there was some chemistry between me and one of his close buddies the previous week. I was just talking and laughing with this guy and he was all ' are you hitting on him ?'


Milking chemistry with another person is not just talking. So that sounds like actual flirting to me and to make your boyfriend jealous just because he noticed a woman had green eyes? Oh sister...sigh.
Green eyes indeed.
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Big Grin
It's not just the green eyes compliment though. He is doing things that would make him jealous if I were to do the same to him.
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I don't think Pisces have jealously traits. I think they just get hurt all the time, even when they don't know why.
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Posted by IrresistableScorp
Beggars--are you talking about a Cancer there? Because if you are--you are both engaging in The Escalation of Mirroring Bad Behavior. Its not pretty. Someone has to stop it or the damn thing will spiral out of control. Big Grin


No it's not the cancer. He actually accepted that he was wrong. Thing is, I thought he was too possessive and I couldn't have fun when we were out. Now I'm dating a capricorn because he is more fun and he is possessive too but he makes me jealous sometimes- maybe on purpose. It came to the point where I'm secretly planning on my next revenge Tongue
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i think a bit of jealousy, mindfucking, possessiveness is healthy and shows you care.
i get very territorial. very. even over my friends and im not sleeping with them.
i dont like to share because im afraid something ive said in trust will come out. i dont trust people to leave them to the own devices.
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
I have a scorpio moon hope that counts.


can u elaborate?
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
Posted by DMV
i think a bit of jealousy, mindfucking, possessiveness is healthy and shows you care.
i get very territorial. very. even over my friends and im not sleeping with them.
i dont like to share because im afraid something ive said in trust will come out. i dont trust people to leave them to the own devices.


lol territorial? like a wolf marking its property?
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YES! shit gets real sometimes where i seriously have to take a walk. OP, says 0 to 100. i can relate.
ive seen red, green, purple, polka dots. ive gone deaf witnessing some shit. outer body experience.
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Well all I want is a little decency to know where to take a step back. He can go and dance with other girls, talk to them etc but this girl was clearly hitting on him and didn't know I was his girlfriend. It was as if I was invisible for a moment there.
Revenge will be sweet..
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Posted by tiziani
I don't even know if I have flirted with others in front of my ex girlfriends. Sometimes I am completely focused on having a good time with her so I can see your point.
Frankly though, I like the evenings where she can be independent, go around and mingle with everyone. Then at the end of the night you get to know each other like it was the first time all over again. You have to have that freedom imo. Being someone's possession can really kill passion dead for me.


i can agree. i think people should be independent and on their best behavior at a party. then, we meet up at the end of the night, go home and screw.
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
Posted by DMV
Posted by TheProphetProdigy
Posted by DMV
i think a bit of jealousy, mindfucking, possessiveness is healthy and shows you care.
i get very territorial. very. even over my friends and im not sleeping with them.
i dont like to share because im afraid something ive said in trust will come out. i dont trust people to leave them to the own devices.


lol territorial? like a wolf marking its property?


YES! shit gets real sometimes where i seriously have to take a walk. OP, says 0 to 100. i can relate.
ive seen red, green, purple, polka dots. ive gone deaf witnessing some shit. outer body experience.


lol to me sags are naturally hot headed IMO. my oldest sister is a sag and so is my cousin and they're about 2 weeks apart. quick tempered, loud and the combination of words they use when they're angry is hilarious.
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My sag sister doesn't let her husband watch porn.
I wouldn't mind if he doesn't become an addict.
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When someone makes me jealous I'm all like ' seriously ? I have the same weapon, even a bigger one. You can shoot me in my arm, I could blow your head off, how about that ? 'in my head Tongue
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
@beggarsblanket thats a little extreme lol. IMO i think only 2 things can stop a man from watching porn.


What 2 things ? Big Grin
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
A mans daughter would make him stop watching porn. Second is time, once it stops working there is no need to keep teasing yourself lmao thats just me joking around.


makes sense, lol.
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If I were a guy, I would date lots of girls but I would treat each one like the only girl in the world. That's how you get the best from each girl. It can be a short affair, but it would be so passionate that neither side would regret it. If you make a girl feel that way, you would experience something worthy.
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Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


Talking is not flirting. Trust me, I'm a Scorp. I know what can happen when my guy is talking to another woman--OH the active imagination! However, talking is not flirting. Just keep saying that mantra.
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Reminds me that saying "Your soul is mine" and "I have you now" can be both evil and romantic depending on the tone.

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Posted by Piscesdream89
I don't think Pisces have jealously traits. I think they just get hurt all the time, even when they don't know why.


Bertrand Cantat (a famous french singer) killed his wife out of jealousy. He is a pisces.
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I can be a bit possessive and as such, I do well with partners that are the same way.
Once you fuck with me you are stuck with me, so you'd better be "boning to own".. or at least leasing with the option to buy. None of this "weighing of the options" stuff.. Figure that shit out before we get involved, or get involved with someone else.
That is all.
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Posted by atearth
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


Talking is not flirting. Trust me, I'm a Scorp. I know what can happen when my guy is talking to another woman--OH the active imagination! However, talking is not flirting. Just keep saying that mantra.


Reminds me that saying "Your soul is mine" and "I have you now" can be both evil and romantic depending on the tone.


click to expand


Big Grin
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
Posted by DMV
Posted by TheProphetProdigy
I have a scorpio moon hope that counts.


can u elaborate?


Not really lol I honestly don't know jack shit about astrology. I only put it there because it's a scorpio forum.
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my bad, what i meant was, how much jealousy will you endure?
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Posted by Rabbit
Jealousy is rooted in your own insecurities, as is mistrust.
Someone making a comment about a celebrity they see in a movie or on television shouldn't trigger jealousy in you unless you're already insecure about yourself.



This.
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what worries me is when my mate likes someone who looks nothing like me.
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Posted by beggarsblanket
You guys are right. But in my case, these guys were jealous first over nothing. There is the problem.


So, you're saying you caught it? Like a cold?
What's your point exactly? You are in control of your emotions. Anything after "but" is a lot of excused and denial.
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Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


However, talking is not flirting.
click to expand


Then you're doing it wrong.

I kid! I kid!....well sort of.
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by beggarsblanket
You guys are right. But in my case, these guys were jealous first over nothing. There is the problem.


So, you're saying you caught it? Like a cold?
What's your point exactly? You are in control of your emotions. Anything after "but" is a lot of excused and denial.
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Especially with my cancer ex what I did was I started projecting the way he thinks. I can tolerate many things. If there is something he can't tolerate, he shouldn't be expecting tolerance from me either. He had double standards. He could drool over anyone he sees on tv, but when it came to me wearing a sexy dress and getting a little attention he would freak out.

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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
A little jealousy won't hurt anybody. I peronally think its cute if a females gets jealous from time to time, its going to the extreme with the jealousy that would make me do the virgo disappearing act.


Slippery slope I think.
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Like I said, he would also check out women on the street and comment on them too.
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


However, talking is not flirting.


Then you're doing it wrong.

I kid! I kid!....well sort of.
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I think those that are flirting should wear a sign so that we would know lol.
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Cancers are too possessive and I suspect Capricorns are shapeshifter goats in reality.
Life is hard for a scorpio.
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Posted by TheProphetProdigy
@DMV not sure to be honest, usually when one of my ex's was getting hit on by another guy another female would do it to me and most like my ex would be the one pissed. I never got into any fights because of jealousy or breakups because I'm the one that makes jokes to ease the tension.


Virgos know about communication.
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Posted by beggarsblanket
Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by beggarsblanket
You guys are right. But in my case, these guys were jealous first over nothing. There is the problem.


So, you're saying you caught it? Like a cold?
What's your point exactly? You are in control of your emotions. Anything after "but" is a lot of excused and denial.


Especially with my cancer ex what I did was I started projecting the way he thinks. I can tolerate many things. If there is something he can't tolerate, he shouldn't be expecting tolerance from me either. He had double standards. He could drool over anyone he sees on tv, but when it came to me wearing a sexy dress and getting a little attention he would freak out.


click to expand


Okay. It's actually not the same thing. I am not suggesting you should not be able to wear whatever you want, however this^^^^ example is not a good example of a double standard. This only highlights the ways in which he was able to trigger your insecurities and your attempt to try to get "reassurance" by grabbing the attention of others (or him indirectly). Sounds like you were both just bouncing your emotional issues off of each other.
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(I was going to wait to see if this was addressed, but....)
Posted by beggarsblanket
Posted by IrresistableScorp
Posted by beggarsblanket
If 2 people are passionate about each other, they won't flirt with other people when they are out together. It just kills it all for me when I start thinking I'm just a girl he is dating. It goes from 100 to 0 just like that.


Talking is not flirting. Trust me, I'm a Scorp. I know what can happen when my guy is talking to another woman--OH the active imagination! However, talking is not flirting. Just keep saying that mantra.


Ok, so when is that line crossed then ? smile In my case, this girl came up to talk to him and I was standing right there beside him and he was like ' Omg are your eyes greeeen ? ' somewhere along the conversation, so I was like 'okiee' and stormed off into the club and he came back after me and sat me down after I refused to dance with him. He said it was ridiculous and he should be free to flirt with other girls but he was the one who got jealous when he saw there was some chemistry between me and one of his close buddies the previous week. I was just talking and laughing with this guy and he was all ' are you hitting on him ?'
click to expand


How exactly is this^^^ flirting? And your reaction?!....Hmmmm well, I think you are being easily triggered/set off and your reactions don't allow for any real growth. You're having a tantrum (sorry you are) and he's coddling you. Had that been me, I would have let you stomp off until you cooled down and were ready to talk to me about the issue. If not, *shrug* stay mad. I would re-read Rabbit's post again. You're the common denominator here.
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Posted by tiziani

Frankly though, I like the evenings where she can be independent, go around and mingle with everyone. Then at the end of the night you get to know each other like it was the first time all over again. You have to have that freedom imo. Being someone's possession can really kill passion dead for me.


I can get with this. Really depends on my mood though.
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You know what ?
I think they both totally deserved it. Am I supposed to teach them how to treat their girlfriend ?
They can get jealous, or be into other women, but when it comes to me it's another story ?
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Posted by Andalusia
I can be a bit possessive and as such, I do well with partners that are the same way.
Once you fuck with me you are stuck with me, so you'd better be "boning to own"...


LOL! Quote worthy.

....who knew M&Ms was so.....intense........?
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Posted by DMV
what worries me is when my mate likes someone who looks nothing like me.


Why? Are you only attracted to one type of man?
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Phoenix- what would make you jealous ? Big Grin You sound like you wouldn't care unless your bf is making out or having sex with another girl.
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Posted by beggarsblanket
Like I said, he would also check out women on the street and comment on them too.


I see. You seem to be describing my first bf (also a Crab) down to the sideways scuttle, so I get it. Much of it had nothing to do with you, but it definitely triggered that part of you that you do need to address at some point. Anyway, since you're with the Cappy, no need to dwell what that was about.
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by Andalusia
I can be a bit possessive and as such, I do well with partners that are the same way.
Once you fuck with me you are stuck with me, so you'd better be "boning to own"...


LOL! Quote worthy.

....who knew M&Ms was so.....intense........?
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Devil
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Posted by beggarsblanket
Phoenix- what would make you jealous ? Big Grin You sound like you wouldn't care unless your bf is making out or having sex with another girl.


LOL, then you misread my post. Caring and reacting are two different things. I can be quite jealous and I do react sometimes, but perhaps my pride makes it difficult for me to act the fool---not saying that you are acting like a fool.
As Rabbit stated, jealousy is rooted in insecurity, so anything that plays on that creates an issue for me emotionally. If I feel puffy because I was PMSing and my SO was talking to a woman I could see that getting under my skin, even if she was only remotely attractive. Another day when I'm feeling like the hottest b*tch alive, I wouldn't bat an eyelash. Jealousy isn't static for me. It changes as I do, so it's hard to give you a definitive answer. There are a few things that get an emotional response out of me that is perceived as jealousy and usually it is something else (e.g. feeling disrespected).
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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by beggarsblanket
Phoenix- what would make you jealous ? Big Grin You sound like you wouldn't care unless your bf is making out or having sex with another girl.


LOL, then you misread my post. Caring and reacting are two different things. I can be quite jealous and I do react sometimes, but perhaps my pride makes it difficult for me to act the fool---not saying that you are acting like a fool.
As Rabbit stated, jealousy is rooted in insecurity, so anything that plays on that creates an issue for me emotionally. If I feel puffy because I was PMSing and my SO was talking to a woman I could see that getting under my skin, even if she was only remotely attractive. Another day when I'm feeling like the hottest b*tch alive, I wouldn't bat an eyelash. Jealousy isn't static for me. It changes as I do, so it's hard to give you a definitive answer. There are a few things that get an emotional response out of me that is perceived as jealousy and usually it is something else (e.g. feeling disrespected).

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I really do hate it when the green-eyed monster rears its ugly head!
But I also hate how you can 'measure' in a way how much you are invested in someone and/ or how secure they make you feel...
Of course the absolute worst thing to do is escalate things and revenge- yuck- that's pretty much the death knell when your pride takes over! It never has your best interests at heart... and the absolute antithesis of commonsense...
Don't stomp off- be fabulous! As I get older I dread the competition between women to be the centre of a mans attention! Be funny, sweet and charm the girl yourself... Your bf will quickly realize you are a very cool cat.
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lol, something like that, Rabbit. I DO love my alcohol and dairy based products..
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Posted by beggarsblanket
You know what ?
I think they both totally deserved it. Am I supposed to teach them how to treat their girlfriend ?


"Deserved"?....well that's debatable, but I'll go with your assessment. After all, you were in the relationship, not me. However, I am wondering what you think you "deserve" for the choices you made? I guess nothing because they started it, right? I'm really not trying to ride your ass, but can you see how immature that sounds right?
No, it's not your job to teach them how to treat a girlfriend, but if you want to stay in a relationship with someone, it is your job to teach them how you want to be treated if they are not treating you well. If you don't like something, speak up or move on...or you could just do the passive mirroring thing we are known for. That sounds a little too round about for my liking. Life's too short for all of that "dancing".

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Posted by PhoenixRising
Posted by DMV
what worries me is when my mate likes someone who looks nothing like me.


Why? Are you only attracted to one type of man?
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no, but still. his crush should resemble me lol. i am his fantasy dammit!
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