Quick simple opinion

So, I just had a very simple, flirtatious convo with the Scorp guy i'm seeing. He said he couldn't hang cause he is going to a Stanley Cup party tonight at his friends house( who I have never met). We joked around for awhile me stating that "It's cute when you pretend you dont have feelings :::hugs:::" Just messing around. He said he had to go and would see me Saturday. I Replied "No, I've decided to go ahead and go to the party with you tonight. What should I bring?" To my surprise he says "My house is kind of messy I wasn't planning on having company over." I say "I don't care. Do you prefer Bleu Cheese or Ranch dip for a veggie platter. And where should I meet you?" I'm still playing, mind you!!! His final response "I guess meet me at my house about 7". I said "See you there 🙂"


Sooooo... Was this totally intrusive of me— Should I actually go? I've never met his friends or anything. I don't want to show up and creep him out. I live an hour away! haha

Posted by heliumfiasco
So, I just had a very simple, flirtatious convo with the Scorp guy i'm seeing. He said he couldn't hang cause he is going to a Stanley Cup party tonight at his friends house( who I have never met). We joked around for awhile me stating that "It's cute when you pretend you dont have feelings :::hugs:::" Just messing around. He said he had to go and would see me Saturday. I Replied "No, I've decided to go ahead and go to the party with you tonight. What should I bring?" To my surprise he says "My house is kind of messy I wasn't planning on having company over." I say "I don't care. Do you prefer Bleu Cheese or Ranch dip for a veggie platter. And where should I meet you?" I'm still playing, mind you!!! His final response "I guess meet me at my house about 7". I said "See you there 🙂"


Sooooo... Was this totally intrusive of me— Should I actually go? I've never met his friends or anything. I don't want to show up and creep him out. I live an hour away! haha

Yes, it's intrusive and a turn off imo.

Yes, it sounds like you were being rather pushy. Even though you were joking around, he obviously thought that you were serious. This could have easily turned into an argument if he hadn't "given in" to it. Luckily he seems alright with you meeting his friends, so that's good at least.

I'd go if I were you, otherwise it's going to give a really bad impression of you.

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by heliumfiasco
So, I just had a very simple, flirtatious convo with the Scorp guy i'm seeing. He said he couldn't hang cause he is going to a Stanley Cup party tonight at his friends house( who I have never met). We joked around for awhile me stating that "It's cute when you pretend you dont have feelings :::hugs:::" Just messing around. He said he had to go and would see me Saturday. I Replied "No, I've decided to go ahead and go to the party with you tonight. What should I bring?" To my surprise he says "My house is kind of messy I wasn't planning on having company over." I say "I don't care. Do you prefer Bleu Cheese or Ranch dip for a veggie platter. And where should I meet you?" I'm still playing, mind you!!! His final response "I guess meet me at my house about 7". I said "See you there 🙂"


Sooooo... Was this totally intrusive of me— Should I actually go? I've never met his friends or anything. I don't want to show up and creep him out. I live an hour away! haha

Yes, it's intrusive and a turn off imo.

click to expand

+1 *sigh* Libra women

Posted by ellessque

Personally, I'm might kind of like the intrusiveness if it was someone I was digging.

Right. If ^^^^this is in place. She's not sure he is, which is why she is acting this way. Unless something has changed since her last thread.

Posted by ellessque
....and oh yeah.....

YOU HAVE TO GO NOW.

He's probably running around the house spot cleaning all the things he might think you'll see!

Lol! Made me think about the time I cleaned my oven because the guy I was seeing was coming over to my place for the first time. I kid you not when I say the d*mn man looked in my oven!!!! I'm so glad I cleaned it.

I did go.

He did clean his entire house and made fun of me for inviting myself over the entire night. I just said to him "You could have said no. Did you not wait for me? Looks like you did. Excuse me for wanting to see you face" haha

It was a small gathering. I mostly let him be and made friends with everyone and did my own thing. Afterwards, I went home and he seemed irritated by that. He always seems so fucking distant but if I do anything I'm punished and noted. I don't get it.

I've decided to move to another state for a job. When I told him I was, he avoided it and acted as though I said nothing. He has now not spoken to me since. We usually talk everyday. I don't understand why he would even care. He is the one that said "I have strong feelings for you, but I'm mentally fucked and can't handle this right now." I was hoping we could remain friendly until I left but he is fuming. Did he expect me to sit around and wait for him? I already have for a year. Fuck that noise. Now he is posting rude comments about my move on Facebook, saying "Who are you Bill Gates? Where are you getting the money for this move?"

I'm hoping we can be friends.

Posted by ellessque
this why libra and scorp don't always go together nicely.

I am always so confused. He says one thing and does another all the time. Bet your ass if I thought he was willing to commit I would keep my butt here, but I don't believe that to be so. I can almost feel him losing it from 30 miles away. I hope all his electronics are secured... no more broken laptops! haha

Posted by Neurotoxin
Oh. Friends? I don't think so.

Really? That hurts my heart.

I'd suggest you go now!

Posted by FUM
I'd suggest you go now!

Are you saying "go now" in the sense to get away from this person? haha. He is heated and pissed at me. I don't understand why.

No ultimatum of any kind. I know that wouldn't fly with a Scorpio 🙂

We have both been discussing for a long time a desire to get out of New England. I text him and said "Want to move to Austin, with me?" His reply "I've actually been thinking of Atlanta. etc..." I told him I thought it would be good for him to make that move and that this area was holding him back. I said I was actually moving and had given my notice to work.
:::Crickets::: ****Few hours later he leaves snide comments on my Facebook wall about my move
**** Few more hours I ask "You still want to do something this weekend?" His reply "Ehhhhhh". I then sent two more messages "No?" and "Why not?"... Nothing....... He still hasn't even mentioned the move to me directly or even said "good luck" or anything. This morning (3 days later) he sends me a text about Aaron Hernandez from the Patriots as if nothing happened and then goes silent.... Ughhh... ok?

Ew.

I'm a Gemini Sun, Libra Rising/Moon, Gemini Mercury and that just turned me off hardcore. Even though I get your playing mood it's just yuck. Especially for a female to be all pushy like that big time turn off to guys im sure. I never EVER do that. I want the Scorpio guy to do that to me, but not as obvious either. You were way too blatant. Bleh.

Posted by Neurotoxin
I bet this guy feels like he's trying to catch a fly with chopsticks.

Just sayin...

He is the one who said "I can't mentally do this right now." Then the next week I made a reply to something he said with "well, I know you don't want to date me so I didn't mean it like that"... His reply was "Don't be silly, hon"..... I'm sorry but if he was ever trying to catch me that is a pretty crazy way to do so. He wants me, he doesn't. He wants me, he doesn't. He wants to sleep with me, he doesn't. Etc etc etc. Maybe I was aggressive but this shit is crazy!


Elle, I completely agree with your statement that he isn't going to come running. I just wanted him to acknowledge that it was happening he says we're friends and that im one of the most important people is his life, we hangout weekly, so why just be cold like that?
I feel like he has either been waiting for something to happen (not sure what) or is playing with me. It's really hard. Maybe my behavior and reactions are confusing but it only reflects how god damn confused I actually am.

This just hurts my head. He made a big risk letting you into his 'domain' with his guy friends and them all being casual and doing what they'd normally do. That's like letting you stick a toe in his inner circle. and his inner circle accepted you. You made friends and then were inobtrusive by "doing your own thing". While playing it cool and distracting you from his thoughts as much as possible, he was probably thinking something along the lines of "Ermygawd I LOVE this! This was the right move!" and you were definitely part of his trusted group. He wanted to celebrate by having you for longer. You went home instead, which was confusing for him but something small enough to handle. Of course his libido was all worked up so he channeled it into analyzing, which is something we... do. A lot. And he's analyzing where he might've made mistakes that night and what was good and what was bad. And jealous that his friends liked you because they're guys too. And happy that they did because everyone in a close-knit group is supposed to like each other for it to be nice and stable.

And as he's reveling in the fact that by taking the risk and letting you in, you were more good and less bad, and that this could go further and possibly last the long haul... you up and move to another state. The long-distance thing just doesn't work. Scorpio is "all or none" and by going long-distance, you just made yourself a 'none'. Right when he's happy about you being so close to 'all'.

Time would be the only cure. You're confused. He's hurt. But he'll never let you know unless he's hurt enough to want to sting you with it.

"I bet this guy feels like he's trying to catch a fly with chopsticks."

"Decide how you feel about him and what it is you want. Then communicate that to him and act towards your goal, instead of re-acting and fishing to see how he feels about you."

"otherwise he'll mirror you forever and a day and a half."

Posted by ellessque
helium, you are kind of playing games and being too coy at the same time. It's confusing.

It's like you want him to give *you* an ultimatum, but he's not going to do that. If he has to let you go (when you move), he's already mentally prepared for that. Don't expect him to come running into your arms libra-fairy-tale style , because that's not going to happen.

If someone doesn't want to be in our lives and have made arrangements to exit, it's not likely we are going to stop them. *shrugs*

haha i dont think she's playing any games here.. being coy? yes... she's stated something and expecting a reaction out of him. Either a "hey, happy travails" or a "hey, why're you doing that?". But the scorp's not biting, not showing in words how he's taken and processed the information, basically theres no reaction according to her expectation. However there is a reaction but it came encoded in scorp lingo which is hard to decipher for her.

FAHHHHHKKKKKK! You know what? There is no hope for me and Plutonians. Except the women as friends... I adore Scorpio women and get along quite well with them.

Let me totally put a dunce cap on myself. This board has told me repeatedly that I am fahhhkin up all the time. I just don't have the damn patience. This is going on and on. Frankly, with the way Scorpios are, I'm surprised he even still is around. Not saying that I am 100% at fault by ANY means. He gives me a lot of crap too! I just get frustrated and feel like AHHHHHH, I need out of this mind-treetrunk. I do something to completely de-rail things in the hopes I can move on and then we are right back. I am so tired of thinking about it, writing about it, talking about it.... However, it has consumed my life. Honestly.

He is driving an hour now to collect something from me. He said " I'm coming as planned. I cant stay I need to leave right away." I said "Ok. Ill leave it in my mailbox. I'm so stressed and confused" He replied "Thanks" Whatever, he is the one who said he couldn't do this. For me to not wait for him and to be happy. I'm trying to do that and now im being silently punished. I want to punch him in the face. I cant win.

Ever heard the Weezer song "No One Else". I feel like I could imagine him singing this to me.

My girl's got a big mouth
With which she babbles a lot.
She laughs at most everythin'
Whether it's funny or not.
And if you see her
Tell her it's over now.

[chorus]
I want a girl who will laugh for no one else.
When I'm away she puts her makeup on the shelf.
When I'm away she never leaves the house.
I want a girl who laughs for no one else.

My girl's got eyeballs
In the back of her head.
She looks around and around.
You know it makes me sad to see her like that.
Please don't believe her.
She says that for anyone.
And if you see her tell her it's a hey, hey hey hey!

[chorus]

And if you see her tell her it's over now.

And if you see her tell her it's over now.
And if you watch her go... and if you watch her go...
Watch her, watch her, watch her, watch her!

I think that there is hope for you two. You are drawn to each other it just sucks cause you both are kinda mirroring each other. I dont think that you should leave it in the mailbox. Do what you know you want to do...the really hard thing be venerable and see him. Let the guard down that you put up to protect yourself and see what happens.

Posted by seraph
never mind.

Bummer 😢


I think it may be true about air signs not being able to fully understand water signs. If anyone has been following my epic string of blatant misunderstandings it's become pretty redundant. I find myself continuously feeling confused and frustrated. In turn, I react the exact way to make it worse. Trust me, I don't want to be the chick asking the same question in a different format and getting the same advice and not properly taking it.

This whole mirroring thing makes perfect sense. I have thought about it but never fully accepted it. I would try to show the behavior that I desired but if I didn't get a quick enough reaction would revert back. I would start to get the same in return but at the slightest fall back from him, start to protect myself. I know for a fact we both have that mentality with one another. "You won't hurt me". However, I think we are both hurt in someway anyhow.

I really have tried to discuss things but it is so uncomfortable. I recently found out through a post by Elle that Uranus-Moon aspects can cause a great deal of confusion and distance in charts. Well, we both have that aspect, his square, mine conjuct. Also heavy 12th house in both charts and a composite 12th. It is veryyyyy hard for us to communicate. I've never experienced anything like it, ever. I am always outspoken, direct, even considered abrasive at times with expressing things, especially with men. Not the case here. I am like a scared kitten. It really pisses me off to be honest. Over a year and he still makes me feel nervous. I feel like we are constantly on a first date. Even sex feels like the first time, every time.

Someone said that I completely overlooked the fact that he was hurt. In some ways I agree with that. I just feel very confused by his comments, flip-flops and actions. When I look for answers I get none. When I believe and act accordingly to his statements he acts like I'm betraying him. He says he doesn't give a shit about what I do, yet makes side-handed comments about my activities. The list of contradictions goes on. How am I to know he is hurt? How am I to know he cares? Part of me thinks he wants me to wait around for him. He makes so many comments about it. "If you wait around for me its weird".. "Don't wait for me, do what makes you happy"..."Why are you waiting for me?"... If you think i'm waiting around f

Opps continued. (sorry so long...venting)

If you think i'm waiting around for you and it's weird. then why are you still hanging around? Why are you weirdly mentioning it all the time? Why are you pissed and no longer want to speak to me when i'm moving to better myself? Why do you go through my phone when I'm sleeping?

There is so much more concerning manipulation with sex, purposeful withholding of all kinds, bizarre head games and from both sides.

I have acted irrationally and sporadically because nothing about any of this is rational or direct. I have wanted this so badly and obsessed over it for so long. My friend said that we are both stuck in a state of metal masturbation. Constantly simmering from the inside like volcanos that just wont explode. This move may very well be the best thing. We need a reset button and to chill the fuck out.

Your first post I would say spoke of desperation. The above post^^^shows your true character and good for him you are leaving. How do you react when a guy fucks with you I wonder.





For the record..he caught on and I'm sure friendship is off the table.

Posted by LetltB
Your first post I would say spoke of desperation. The above post^^^shows your true character and good for him you are leaving. How do you react when a guy fucks with you I wonder.





For the record..he caught on and I'm sure friendship is off the table.

Above post^^^ meaning this post of yours:

Posted by heliumfiasco
I did go.

He did clean his entire house and made fun of me for inviting myself over the entire night. I just said to him "You could have said no. Did you not wait for me? Looks like you did. Excuse me for wanting to see you face" haha

It was a small gathering. I mostly let him be and made friends with everyone and did my own thing. Afterwards, I went home and he seemed irritated by that. He always seems so fucking distant but if I do anything I'm punished and noted. I don't get it.

I've decided to move to another state for a job. When I told him I was, he avoided it and acted as though I said nothing. He has now not spoken to me since. We usually talk everyday. I don't understand why he would even care. He is the one that said "I have strong feelings for you, but I'm mentally fucked and can't handle this right now." I was hoping we could remain friendly until I left but he is fuming. Did he expect me to sit around and wait for him? I already have for a year. Fuck that noise. Now he is posting rude comments about my move on Facebook, saying "Who are you Bill Gates? Where are you getting the money for this move?"

I'm hoping we can be friends.

click to expand

Posted by heliumfiasco
No ultimatum of any kind. I know that wouldn't fly with a Scorpio 🙂

We have both been discussing for a long time a desire to get out of New England. I text him and said "Want to move to Austin, with me?" His reply "I've actually been thinking of Atlanta. etc..." I told him I thought it would be good for him to make that move and that this area was holding him back. I said I was actually moving and had given my notice to work.
:::Crickets::: ****Few hours later he leaves snide comments on my Facebook wall about my move
**** Few more hours I ask "You still want to do something this weekend?" His reply "Ehhhhhh". I then sent two more messages "No?" and "Why not?"... Nothing....... He still hasn't even mentioned the move to me directly or even said "good luck" or anything. This morning (3 days later) he sends me a text about Aaron Hernandez from the Patriots as if nothing happened and then goes silent.... Ughhh... ok?

meh..nevermind. You are just one screwed up chick to add to the pile.😢

Posted by Draumstafir
This just hurts my head. He made a big risk letting you into his 'domain' with his guy friends and them all being casual and doing what they'd normally do. That's like letting you stick a toe in his inner circle. and his inner circle accepted you. You made friends and then were inobtrusive by "doing your own thing". While playing it cool and distracting you from his thoughts as much as possible, he was probably thinking something along the lines of "Ermygawd I LOVE this! This was the right move!" and you were definitely part of his trusted group. He wanted to celebrate by having you for longer. You went home instead, which was confusing for him but something small enough to handle. Of course his libido was all worked up so he channeled it into analyzing, which is something we... do. A lot. And he's analyzing where he might've made mistakes that night and what was good and what was bad. And jealous that his friends liked you because they're guys too. And happy that they did because everyone in a close-knit group is supposed to like each other for it to be nice and stable.

And as he's reveling in the fact that by taking the risk and letting you in, you were more good and less bad, and that this could go further and possibly last the long haul... you up and move to another state. The long-distance thing just doesn't work. Scorpio is "all or none" and by going long-distance, you just made yourself a 'none'. Right when he's happy about you being so close to 'all'.

Time would be the only cure. You're confused. He's hurt. But he'll never let you know unless he's hurt enough to want to sting you with it.

^^Agree other than describing her as confused. She knows exactly what she's doing.

Some people on this board clearly can't read. This man said to her in plain English "I have strong feelings for you, but I'm mentally treetrunked and can't handle this right now." FUUUCK THAT. move on! I would believe what a man says to you. If he means it, he just said he doesn't want a relationship, so stop contacting him. If he doesn't mean it, who the fuck wants to date a big baby who plays games instead of honestly communicating like a healthy adult?
I've seen how my own father, a Scorpio, acts with women who he dates that he doesn't really like. He plays games and says hurtful things yet sticks around. He'll admit to me that he's just bored or lonely. I'm not saying this is the case for him but when a man is crazy about you, he won't try to hurt you.
You're allowed to move and live your own life- are you freaking engaged to him? Is he promising anything to you for you to want to stay with him - which is a life altering decision? Don't be his play thing!

Posted by heliumfiasco
Trust me, I don't want to be the chick asking the same question in a different format and getting the same advice and not properly taking it.

You don't, yet.....

Posted by seraph
I don't know exactly what he's doing to possibly engender your lack of confidence in him and the relationship, so I can't comment on what he should do to improve the situation. His language suggests he takes you for granted, that he doesn't see you as an exciting challenge, and that he's experiencing too much of you too quickly. He feels smothered, and is probably at a point where you're more convenient than you are inspirational.

You're holding on too tight because you fear losing. This points to issues - on your end - of self-acceptance. It really isn't about him having to constantly reassure you. That isn't a man's job. Once the engine is fixed it's fixed. It doesn't need constant re-checking. Your grip on him is causing you to dissolve *your* boundaries and encroach on *his*. You don't invite yourself out to a night with the boys. That's incredibly tacky. You're his woman, not his mom....

Maybe he has things to work on, maybe he doesn't. But you certainly do. It isn't any fundamental astro miscommunication that's going on. It's your self-confidence and the way in which you view romantic relationships - namely, as a way to address externally what you yourself need to address internally.

+1 Some of this was already mention a few threads ago.

I appreciate all the advice and even criticism. I will agree I too have a lot to work on. Which is why I'm here asking for advice on MY behavior in the first place. I will disagree with everyone's opinion on me being playful and going to the party. He actually seemed pretty happy and in-turn playful. He has done similar things, and I really don't think he was that offended by it. If he didn't want me to go, I wouldn't have. He isn't that kind of guy. I think I made the right decision in going. He hung-out with me twice more that week. I highly doubt if he was that turned-off by me, he would have done that. He doesn't entertain peoples request if he doesn't want to, which can be frustrating in its own right.

Was I looking for some kind of reaction when I said I was moving? Of course, you look for a reaction from everyone you love. Either encouragement, concerns etc. This is a major life decision for me in ALL aspects. I have a daughter, a career, home and life. Him saying I am one of the most important people in his life and him completely disregarding it on every level is manipulative and hurtful. This isn't just a man I dated. This is someone I see weekly and speak to daily! Is he hurt? Then say so!!! Say fucking anything!

Am I holding on too tightly? Looking for answers? Probably. Mind you this is a man who plays massive head games with me. Tells me that being withholding is one of life's pleasures. I think he actually likes me to freak out.

Example of the behavior. Told me for 3 months continuously that he loved me. At least 15 texts that I currently have on my phone. Well we got in a fight that was leading to one of our splits and I said "You tell me you love me, but you can be really cold." This man turns to me and says "I never told you I loved you."... I said "WTF are you talking about. You were the first to say it! You just did two days ago. Should I pull up texts? Did I just make this up?" His reply "Maybe, you did." HOLY HELL BATMAN. The brass balls! The Mind-fuck. Then he NEVER said it again.

I come here for input. I want to be a better person. I want to see others points of view. I really do take and respect everyone's advice on this board.

This "relationship" has become very stressful and addictive for me.

I'm not saying that this doesn't appear dramatic towards him... But SOMEONE or SOMETHING needs to change. If I have to be the one to make decisions to BETTER my life and force myself to leave the situation, then so be it. Honestly, I kind of feel like 1900 miles is the only thing to fix this

Posted by Neurotoxin

Posted by follealicat
Some people on this board clearly can't read. This man said to her in plain English "I have strong feelings for you, but I'm mentally treetrunked and can't handle this right now." FUUUCK THAT. move on! I would believe what a man says to you. If he means it, he just said he doesn't want a relationship, so stop contacting him. If he doesn't mean it, who the fuck wants to date a big baby who plays games instead of honestly communicating like a healthy adult?
I've seen how my own father, a Scorpio, acts with women who he dates that he doesn't really like. He plays games and says hurtful things yet sticks around. He'll admit to me that he's just bored or lonely. I'm not saying this is the case for him but when a man is crazy about you, he won't try to hurt you.
You're allowed to move and live your own life- are you freaking engaged to him? Is he promising anything to you for you to want to stay with him - which is a life altering decision? Don't be his play thing!

Whoa whoa whoa...hold up. Enough with the hyperbolic personal attacks.

If he said he had feelings, but wasn't ready to commit, what's wrong with that? If he knew he wasn't in a good place mentally and emotionally, shouldn't he be telling that to her, instead of being dishonest and jumping on anyways and making things worse? You seem to imply that people aren't allowed to be a little emotionally unavailable at times or aren't allowed to take things slowly. Don't try to apply your own propensity for jumping in feet first and throwing caution to the wind to everyone.

With that said, at any point in time, the OP was more than free to simply walk away. She didn't. She's just as guilty in this for simply saying no I'm not waiting for you.

click to expand

I agree with both of you. I HAVE walked away, for over a month. He came back to me full-force then did this crap again. He needs accountability for that. Could I have walked away at any point? Absolutely. I just really had hope. I have NEVER even remotely hinted at not having blame here. At least I always maintain and verbalize my feelings. He is emotionally uncomfortable with himself and my erratic ass isn't going to help that. So, I'm putting on my big girl panties and rolling. I'm not happy!

@Helium

I kinda feel bad for you right now cause I went through this same exact thing a while back with my Scorpio. I found myself over thinking it. It was a constant push/pull, he would vanish, then come back profess his love, vanish again, like a vicious circle. I never understood it. I figured with men if they are REALLY interested in you they won't do this type of thing regardless. Thought I would take a moment and give you my two cents being that I am also an air sign and you and I both have a chart that is almost mirroring each other. With the flip flop of our moon/rising and mercury and both of us having earth placements in a few houses (mine is both venus and mars, I think yours is also?)

Air signs value honesty and I'm going to put it to you like this. He isn't an evolved Scorpio. No maam. Mine wasn't either. Little freaked out because it's almost exactly my story. Actually it is my story. You're just nicer about it. I came to this board to vent a long time ago about him. Same story, different person and moment in time. I know you aren't happy I understand. Felt the same way. Believe me you need to walk away because this will continue to happen until he figures himself out and what he wants. No matter what bad ass creative ideas you have on how to approach him differently it won't work. Been there done that.

My best advice from one air to another. If YOU can't get through to someone with communication you should probably walk. We pride ourselves on our communication style (esp air in mercury). I tried every which way to get him to give me some kind of sign. Nothing. Packed my shit and left. I think in this life we have to realize that what one man won't do someone else will. And while we are spending our time looking for the right size crowbar to open them up with we are missing a shit ton of opportunity with someone that could potentially be a better match.

Posted by Xin
@Helium

I kinda feel bad for you right now cause I went through this same exact thing a while back with my Scorpio. I found myself over thinking it. It was a constant push/pull, he would vanish, then come back profess his love, vanish again, like a vicious circle. I never understood it. I figured with men if they are REALLY interested in you they won't do this type of thing regardless. Thought I would take a moment and give you my two cents being that I am also an air sign and you and I both have a chart that is almost mirroring each other. With the flip flop of our moon/rising and mercury and both of us having earth placements in a few houses (mine is both venus and mars, I think yours is also?)

Air signs value honesty and I'm going to put it to you like this. He isn't an evolved Scorpio. No maam. Mine wasn't either. Little freaked out because it's almost exactly my story. Actually it is my story. You're just nicer about it. I came to this board to vent a long time ago about him. Same story, different person and moment in time. I know you aren't happy I understand. Felt the same way. Believe me you need to walk away because this will continue to happen until he figures himself out and what he wants. No matter what bad ass creative ideas you have on how to approach him differently it won't work. Been there done that.

My best advice from one air to another. If YOU can't get through to someone with communication you should probably walk. We pride ourselves on our communication style (esp air in mercury). I tried every which way to get him to give me some kind of sign. Nothing. Packed my shit and left. I think in this life we have to realize that what one man won't do someone else will. And while we are spending our time looking for the right size crowbar to open them up with we are missing a shit ton of opportunity with someone that could potentially be a better match.

I don't know why but this almost made my eyes tear up. I appreciate that. I'm not one to be on forums talking about my life. This relationship got me much more into astrology, just looking for answers. Believe it or not, I have given myself more to this relationship than I ever did to ANYONE, people that I was with for years never received things I gave this man.. It makes me mad and makes me feel stupid. Have I acted bat shit crazy? Absolutely. I feel crazy. I feel defeated. I feel

opps. cont. I feel sad. I'm getting realistic with myself and moving forward. I'm getting on that plane, and when it takes off I know part of me will feel sick but another part of me will feel relieved. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Posted by Neurotoxin
Glad my Mercury (and my wife's) is in Libra.

Makes things so much easier.

Mine is in Libra 🙂 His Scorpio....Boooo! haha JK

Posted by heliumfiasco
Am I holding on too tightly? Looking for answers? Probably. Mind you this is a man who plays massive head games with me. Tells me that being withholding is one of life's pleasures. I think he actually likes me to freak out.

Example of the behavior. Told me for 3 months continuously that he loved me. At least 15 texts that I currently have on my phone. Well we got in a fight that was leading to one of our splits and I said "You tell me you love me, but you can be really cold." This man turns to me and says "I never told you I loved you."... I said "WTF are you talking about. You were the first to say it! You just did two days ago. Should I pull up texts? Did I just make this up?" His reply "Maybe, you did." HOLY HELL BATMAN. The brass balls! The Mind-fuck. Then he NEVER said it again.

I come here for input. I want to be a better person. I want to see others points of view. I really do take and respect everyone's advice on this board.

This "relationship" has become very stressful and addictive for me.

I'm not saying that this doesn't appear dramatic towards him... But SOMEONE or SOMETHING needs to change. If I have to be the one to make decisions to BETTER my life and force myself to leave the situation, then so be it. Honestly, I kind of feel like 1900 miles is the only thing to fix this

I just read through this. Read it again yourself slowly. I don't think it's sunk in. Doesn't matter what sign he is. He's NOT evolved like at all. What man would play around with the L word? It's not a joke. You should have taken that right then and there and said F you and packed your shit and moved on. "Maybe you did" what the hell is that? I mean honestly? I would have had his head. You seem like a really sweet person and I think he's fucking around with your feelings.

A man will treat you the way you ALLOW him too. You have to not be afraid to lose them. And your word is everything. EVERYTHING. Remember that. So if you cheapen your word it becomes meaningless. If you say it DO IT. "Im done" means just that. You walk. You don't look back, you don't call him, you take him off every mode of communication you can. If he texts you jokingly you don't answer. NOTHING. Once you say it if you go back a little piece of your word is chiseled away cheapening it. The more you do it the more worthless it becomes. Then one day you realize wow my word doesn't me

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Neurotoxin
Glad my Mercury (and my wife's) is in Libra.

Makes things so much easier.

Mine is in Libra 🙂 His Scorpio....Boooo! haha JK

click to expand

Omg....Really?

Mine is in Gemini and his was in Scorpio also.

Posted by Neurotoxin

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by Neurotoxin
Glad my Mercury (and my wife's) is in Libra.

Makes things so much easier.

Mine is in Libra 🙂 His Scorpio....Boooo! haha JK

No...boo is right. Scorpio Merc is terrible for communication.

click to expand

haha Scorpio Venus and Merc, both 12th house to boot! AHHHHHHH. Also Neptune 1st house...liars 😢

Posted by heliumfiasco
opps. cont. I feel sad. I'm getting realistic with myself and moving forward. I'm getting on that plane, and when it takes off I know part of me will feel sick but another part of me will feel relieved. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Awe I know. Im sorry I really am. I know Im not the nicest person on the board but I really feel for you because it's like you showed up and you are where I was a while back. Oh my god did I try too. Really cared about him. Got me really into Scorpios too. Never in a million years would I think that I would be attracted to the enigmatic type. Probably because it's a project for me. How could I...ME! A Gemini with my mercury in Gemini fail at communication? But I realized it wasn't me. Messed with my mind. So I know exactly how you feel *hug*

Libra's are just about some of the nicest people I have ever met (females). Im not too sure about the males but even my rising and moon (Libra) tend to make me give people the benefit of the doubt when I shouldn't because I feel if it was me would I want them to do it for me too?

*Hugs for Helium* 🙂

Helium what was his chart? Cause again they match with your last post of his venus/mercury being in Scorpio. WEEEIRD.

His was:

Sun Scorpio
Rising Aries
Moon Capricorn
Mercury Scorpio
Venus Scorpio
Mars Libra
Jupiter Aries
Saturn Sagittarius
Uranus Sagittarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Scorpio

Posted by Neurotoxin
Oops...sorry Xin. Dropped the monster bait did I?

😛

LMAO! Nice picture of a hambone! LOL!

Posted by heliumfiasco

Was I looking for some kind of reaction when I said I was moving? Of course, you look for a reaction from everyone you love. Either encouragement, concerns etc. This is a major life decision for me in ALL aspects. I have a daughter, a career, home and life. Him saying I am one of the most important people in his life and him completely disregarding it on every level is manipulative and hurtful.

It is. So is dangling the idea of you leaving just to get him to show you affection and ask you to stay. The man had the opportunity to claim you and did not. Forcing him to do it now won't give you the desired result you're looking for. Not trying to be hurtful, just pointing out that you are going in circles not. You keep doing things to try to get him to respond in the way you want him to and his actions are telling you —I. Am. Not. Here. For. That". Every single time. The other confusing bits? Well, he told you what that was about. Not fair, but as Toxic Flavour (my new name for you NT 😛) posted above, you could have walked away at any time.

Question. If he offered you words of encouragement (as you state above) and said "see ya later", would you have been okay with that response? Let's not pretend you would. So don't make this about him being this cold unresponsive assh*le. I can't speak for your Scorp, but when someone tries to manipulate a specific response from me, they get nothing at all. It seems like he's doing some messy version of that by passively posting crap on your FB page instead of telling you directly. At least you got that. Some would flat out ignore you after they wished you well.

Posted by heliumfiasco
Am I holding on too tightly? Looking for answers? Probably. Mind you this is a man who plays massive head games with me. Tells me that being withholding is one of life's pleasures. I think he actually likes me to freak out.

Example of the behavior. Told me for 3 months continuously that he loved me. At least 15 texts that I currently have on my phone. Well we got in a fight that was leading to one of our splits and I said "You tell me you love me, but you can be really cold." This man turns to me and says "I never told you I loved you."... I said "WTF are you talking about. You were the first to say it! You just did two days ago. Should I pull up texts? Did I just make this up?" His reply "Maybe, you did." HOLY HELL BATMAN. The brass balls! The Mind-fuck. Then he NEVER said it again.

I come here for input. I want to be a better person. I want to see others points of view. I really do take and respect everyone's advice on this board.

This "relationship" has become very stressful

Why would you want to be with a man like that^^^? I think that is what you should be trying to figure out, not what's going on with him. Otherwise, expect more of the same. If not from him, another man.

Posted by heliumfiasco

Honestly, I kind of feel like 1900 miles is the only thing to fix this

click to expand

It's a start, but it isn't the only issue you're having.

I'm really not trying to beat you up here. Been there, done all of this bullsh*t. A lot of this has more to do with you then him. He's saying he can't give you what you need and yet, you stay....he's not showing you the attention, affection and respect you require and yet, you stay...you tell the man you will be leaving his life and he doesn't bat an eye and yet, you are here debating if there is a reason to stay.... You have the opportunity to provide a better life for yourself and your child and yet....I don't know what to tell you beyond what I've posted.

Honestly, I think it was brave you put yourself out there like that. Inviting yourself over and hanging with his friends.

I never wanted to hang out with either of my ex scorpios friends. I would pretend I was sick or just not show up.


Good for you, I would think a man would be happy you were interested in his life.

@Phoenixrising. Oh no, no, no. I am not asking whether I should stay. I am leaving. I have given my notice to work, I have told my landlord. I have reserved POD's.

I am trying to process all of this. I realize he wasn't giving me what I wanted. I am just reflecting, trying to understand. I see very clearly my mistakes. I am very aware I allowed myself less than what I wanted. This relationship has taught me that there are sides of myself that I didn't know existed. Everyone's thoughts have brought things to my attention I never knew. I wasn't looking for him to crawl and beg me to stay. I know that would NEVER happen. Even if he wanted to, he wouldn't. I was just hurt that after all this time. After everything, he wouldn't even question my stress about the situation, offer any nice words...or just be a friend in anyway. Instead he ignores it and punishes me with silence. We are NOT acquaintance's. I don't care if my damn neighbor who I barely know said they were moving, you say SOMETHING.

@Elle.... Holy shit. Are you living inside my head? AHHHHHHH! That was freakishly accurate and I nearly have goose bumps!

Posted by seraph
🙂

Print this thread and laminate it, helium. There's gold in here.

Screenshot it all and convert to PDF.... do whatever, because this is the kind of thing you'll need to refer back to.

Yes, I will! Jeez. Great advice on all accounts, even the harsh ones!

I sent him a text asking if we could meet for dinner and talk because I really value his advice.... Nothing.
I guess inviting myself over is no biggie. However, moving on with my life when told to, is. Our usual weekend plans are off...and I almost bet he doesn't see me before I go. I'll deal. I have plenty of people who would love to see me off 🙂

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by seraph
🙂

Print this thread and laminate it, helium. There's gold in here.

Screenshot it all and convert to PDF.... do whatever, because this is the kind of thing you'll need to refer back to.

Yes, I will! Jeez. Great advice on all accounts, even the harsh ones!

I sent him a text asking if we could meet for dinner and talk because I really value his advice.... Nothing.
I guess inviting myself over is no biggie. However, moving on with my life when told to, is. Our usual weekend plans are off...and I almost bet he doesn't see me before I go. I'll deal. I have plenty of people who would love to see me off 🙂

click to expand

Are you surprised he didnt answer you back? And when he does will he say what you want him to? Probably not. What is his chart btw. I posted my exes up there too.

Posted by Xin

Posted by heliumfiasco

Posted by seraph
🙂

Print this thread and laminate it, helium. There's gold in here.

Screenshot it all and convert to PDF.... do whatever, because this is the kind of thing you'll need to refer back to.

Yes, I will! Jeez. Great advice on all accounts, even the harsh ones!

I sent him a text asking if we could meet for dinner and talk because I really value his advice.... Nothing.
I guess inviting myself over is no biggie. However, moving on with my life when told to, is. Our usual weekend plans are off...and I almost bet he doesn't see me before I go. I'll deal. I have plenty of people who would love to see me off 🙂

Are you surprised he didnt answer you back? And when he does will he say what you want him to? Probably not. What is his chart btw. I posted my exes up there too.

click to expand

Maybe I'm na??ve I actually want advice about my job and Austin because he has friends and stuff there. I can see he is upset and I wanted to find out why and to explain myself before I leave. Like adults. That is all. I just find it so weird he is ignoring me on this! Ehhh.

Let me grab his chart real quick.