The walls Scorpios build...
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by shortyrock on Monday, March 27, 2006 and has 29 replies.
Why do most Scorpios go into a relationship without a wall...and as they start getting to know the person, they start building up a wall? Could this be because the relationship may get too intense and they start fearing that intimacy or they notice that they really care about the person??
I'm a Capricorn, and for me it's the opposite. I am naturally cautious, so starting up a relationship I already have that wall. But, as I start to get to know the person and there is trust built, that wall comes down little by little.
Was wondering if anyone can shed some light on that?
I'm a Capricorn, and for me it's the opposite. I am naturally cautious, so starting up a relationship I already have that wall. But, as I start to get to know the person and there is trust built, that wall comes down little by little.
Was wondering if anyone can shed some light on that?
Shortyrock
You could try to brick the walls he's building up by letting him know that you like being around him and you care about him. I don't know how serious your relationship is, so it's very hard to give any advise..
You could try to brick the walls he's building up by letting him know that you like being around him and you care about him. I don't know how serious your relationship is, so it's very hard to give any advise..
"scorps already have the wall built...long before you met him...I am just curious why you feel its the opposite..."
That's true, I think. It takes time for both scorps and caps to build the trust.
That's true, I think. It takes time for both scorps and caps to build the trust.
"sweatie, what your sign??"
cappie like shorty is, you just can't call me shorty.. lol
cappie like shorty is, you just can't call me shorty.. lol
DB, what I mean is why do Scorpio males build a wall around their heart once they really start liking a girl? Is this to protect themselves; are they being cautious? Is this the pullback method?
An example...in the beginning, he was more open with his feelings like telling me how I drove him crazy, little stuff like that; but now lately it hasn't been like that. He told me that in relationships, he tends to build a wall after the relationship starts whereas I go into the relationship with a wall. Does this make sense?
An example...in the beginning, he was more open with his feelings like telling me how I drove him crazy, little stuff like that; but now lately it hasn't been like that. He told me that in relationships, he tends to build a wall after the relationship starts whereas I go into the relationship with a wall. Does this make sense?
sweet&sour,
We have been seeing each other for about 2 months now. We are not seeing anyone else either; but we are taking things slow...getting to know each other. Because of our busy schedules we only hang out like twice a week, and talk on the phone almost every night.
We have been seeing each other for about 2 months now. We are not seeing anyone else either; but we are taking things slow...getting to know each other. Because of our busy schedules we only hang out like twice a week, and talk on the phone almost every night.
If he loves you, shorty, he will never forget you. I know they test you a lot, too.. The pullback method is familiar to everyone who has been in any contact with a scorp man.. Hang in there, shorty, it takes time but sure it's worth it. 
Taking it slow is the best way, believe me, shorty. Don't burn it too soon. Let it breath..
I don't know what his rising sign is.
I know what you mean, DB, but I don't think that's the case with him - where the relationship is coming to an end.
He gives off great vibes...we were just having a conversation and that was one of the topics. I took it to mean that when he first goes into a relationship, in essence, he's just getting to know the girl...once things start getting more serious, and deeper feelings develop - he starts to build up bricks around his heart to protect himself because in essence one is more vulnerable to the other person when you start having feelings. It's easier to get hurt; you're more sensitive. In fact, I was in a previous relationship with a Scorpio male and he kind of said the same thing about building walls to protect his heart, but we were together for 8 years.
Just wondering if anyone had heard of this before or been w/ a scorpio where this happened?
I know what you mean, DB, but I don't think that's the case with him - where the relationship is coming to an end.
He gives off great vibes...we were just having a conversation and that was one of the topics. I took it to mean that when he first goes into a relationship, in essence, he's just getting to know the girl...once things start getting more serious, and deeper feelings develop - he starts to build up bricks around his heart to protect himself because in essence one is more vulnerable to the other person when you start having feelings. It's easier to get hurt; you're more sensitive. In fact, I was in a previous relationship with a Scorpio male and he kind of said the same thing about building walls to protect his heart, but we were together for 8 years.
Just wondering if anyone had heard of this before or been w/ a scorpio where this happened?
One more thing, shorty.. Don't make an issue out of nothing. You know you could destroy your relationship if you just analyze it too much. It's better to make him feel secured and let him know your true feelings. Being honest is the key word with scorps. You'll do just fine
I wonder why women are willing to work that hard...
That my friend is the million dollar question!
I think some women attach themselves too soon before really looking at a man's character and deciding if he is worth it. No offence to shorty but at 2 months, you don't really know him very well and can't assess his long term potential. Sometimes men sense that you are attached to them and feel like you don't know them well, and pull back. Just my opinion and what I have experienced, your millage may vary.
That my friend is the million dollar question!
I think some women attach themselves too soon before really looking at a man's character and deciding if he is worth it. No offence to shorty but at 2 months, you don't really know him very well and can't assess his long term potential. Sometimes men sense that you are attached to them and feel like you don't know them well, and pull back. Just my opinion and what I have experienced, your millage may vary.
"scorps are being to seem difficult to me,,...with all these comments I wonder why women are willing to work that hard..."
It gotta be love, DB.. Love..
It gotta be love, DB.. Love..
Thank you all for your responses; and they are all good! I think I am going to take everyone's advice and just let things flow naturally. I am guilty of over analyzing things sometimes, and then I find out it was all for nothing. I can be a big worry wart and I tend to sometimes read too much into things.
I was curious to see if this was something Scorpios went through...thanks!
I was curious to see if this was something Scorpios went through...thanks!
"LOL, I'm sure we'll be seeing you again....sigh, scorps in love"
I think the two zodiac men types are causing more problems to women than any other signs.. They are Scorps and Cappies. Cappies are the real pain in the a*s*s...
I think the two zodiac men types are causing more problems to women than any other signs.. They are Scorps and Cappies. Cappies are the real pain in the a*s*s...
As friends Cappies are great. I don't know how they are as parents. I gotta ask my daughter when she gets older..
"my dad's all about planning and goal setting...has the emotions of a tree...reliable and dependable..."
hey, you make it sound like we cappies are boring.. I think I've been comment on this cappie-women-being-boring-issue already on cap board.. Believe me, BD, I have emotions, I just show them to someone very special to me..
hey, you make it sound like we cappies are boring.. I think I've been comment on this cappie-women-being-boring-issue already on cap board.. Believe me, BD, I have emotions, I just show them to someone very special to me..
"well see...I didnt say boring...(looking at sweet turning sour)lol
I respect my father...he lacks expressing emotions...I understand what you mean....
YOU ARE NOT BORING"
Well, well.. My first comment here this morning... Excited to see what happend while being asleep... Oh and then first thing you read, someone here trying to convince that I am NOT boring.. Wow! Good news! I don't need coffee today.. lol Thanks, DB. you too, you are not boring
I respect my father...he lacks expressing emotions...I understand what you mean....
YOU ARE NOT BORING"
Well, well.. My first comment here this morning... Excited to see what happend while being asleep... Oh and then first thing you read, someone here trying to convince that I am NOT boring.. Wow! Good news! I don't need coffee today.. lol Thanks, DB. you too, you are not boring
What??? People actually sleep on these boards??? I didn't know..
"An example...in the **beginning** he was more open with his feelings like telling me how I drove him crazy, little stuff like that; but now lately it hasn't been like that."
-- He just means whatever he says now he's gotta be more cautious about it lol Barely beginning.
-- He just means whatever he says now
he's gotta be more cautious about it lol Barely beginning."An example...in the **beginning** he was more open with his feelings like telling me how I drove him crazy, little stuff like that; but now lately it hasn't been like that."
-- He just means whatever he says now he's gotta be more cautious about it lol Barely beginning.
-- He just means whatever he says now
he's gotta be more cautious about it lol Barely beginning.I meant that it's more emotional.
He just means whatever he says now he's gotta be more cautious about it lol Barely beginning.
I want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly...do you mean that now because it's more emotional, he's more vulnerable in a sense...so he has to be careful and cautious of what he says?
If that's the case, it makes sense for a Scorpio.
I mean, we have been spending more time together...in retrospect, feelings are mutually growing.
Why is that when they start to develop stronger feelings they retreat instead of expressing how they feel...?
he's gotta be more cautious about it lol Barely beginning.I want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly...do you mean that now because it's more emotional, he's more vulnerable in a sense...so he has to be careful and cautious of what he says?
If that's the case, it makes sense for a Scorpio.
I mean, we have been spending more time together...in retrospect, feelings are mutually growing.
Why is that when they start to develop stronger feelings they retreat instead of expressing how they feel...?
DB, sorry! That was more of a rhetorical question. You all did a great job of answering.
As much as some of us complain about the mysteries of a Scorpio, that may be one of the main reasons we stick around. Although at times it can be frustrating, it keeps things exciting.
Who wants the same old humdrum anyways?!
As much as some of us complain about the mysteries of a Scorpio, that may be one of the main reasons we stick around. Although at times it can be frustrating, it keeps things exciting.
Who wants the same old humdrum anyways?!
Girl! I feel ya... I'm a Cap. Moon and my love is a Scorpio Moon. I've never met another human being with such intensity and depth. The foundation of my life was of Scorpio & A bit of Gemini. If there's one thing I really know about Scorpios: Control. Okay, I'm not suggesting Scorpio is evil by any means -- they just need to be in the drivers seat. For good reason, I think. So maybe what you're experiencing is his way of having his way. If you don't like how he makes you feel I suggest you walk away, but it seems more like you're looking to figure him out. I really think so far you've only seen a facet of his true personality and depth. Scorpio will not share every bit of himself with others... but when they fall in love -- they're in it for the commitment. Like someone said it's about merging... This doesn't happen overnight. Definatly give it some time. You're quite perceptive considering you are grasping his bizarre behaviours. Once you have a good understanding of his patterns things will be much easier for you and you might feel the relationship to be more balanced. Good luck & enjoy your Scorpio treasure! 
Thank you kindly, frokenvin! I tend to analyze certain situations, and I find him so intriguing. I believe I now know what he meant by saying he builds a wall after a relationship begins. I can see a change in him since we started getting to know eachj other...and it's good and bad. Good in the sense because I know he's starting to feel really deeply for me and bad in the sense that he doesn't share as easily about his emotions and his feelings; but when he does share this side of him I know he's being sincere and it makes it all the worthwhile. But this is something I've learned to accept, it is a part of him. And knowing this, I am choosing to stick around because I know the reward in getting to know him will be much greater! Because we've been hanging out more often lately, I am starting to get to know his moods, patterns, and I feel myself relaxing more around him, and him around me. There is definitely trust being built; I feel more at ease to share personal things with him and I can tell he does with me as well. We still have aways to go; but I am in no rush. I am just trying to enjoy this initial phase! Thanks!
Do u think that sometimes these walls/pride/need to be in the driver seat prevent us getting into a relationship and missing good opportunities?
MM, this is just my opinion...but I would think this does prevent a person from establishing a deep connection with someone. Hence, you miss out on good opportunities for truly intimate relationships.
DB, can you elaborate?
I could be wrong but what I believe you are saying is that a Scorp does not just deem any person worthy, for lack of a better word, of having a serious relationship with. If the Scorp feels that the person is trustworthy, honest, loyal then they will open up to that person. I assume you mean that if they don't deem a person worthy of their time, then they'll withdraw or "run away"...?
Am I close enough?
Am I close enough?
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