Told a Scorpio Man 'I Love You'

RANT FRON A HURTING CANCER:

I confessed to my boyfriend this morning that I loved him. It felt really right and I had a gut feeling that he loved me back: I met his family, friends, he included me in his future short- and long-term plans, etc. We've been together for 8 months now and he just started kissing me everywhere and said nothing for 5 minutes. Then he says that he was afraid to tell me that he loved spending time with me because he just doesn't know if he'll fall in love with me. He also said that if anything, he cares the most for me but he doesn't love me.
It hurts because I'll be leaving to another country for about 4 years (in the Navy) starting this June and it hurts to know that I will be away in another country not knowing if an LDR can work with someone who doesn't love me.
I've never been in love with anyone and I even considered going back to friends since we love spending time with each other, but it's been 8 months, I'm not going to be here for the one-year mark, and he doesn't know if he'll ever be in love with me. Just felt like ranting, just happened.

***I'll be leaving to another country for about 4 years (in the Navy) starting this June and it hurts to know that I will be away in another country not knowing if an LDR can work with someone who doesn't love me.***

First, like AM said be happy he was honest. Blunt scorps eh—
Second, the above statement is likely to be the answer why he avoids letting himself love you we are very protective of our hearts. Therefore, no a long distance relationship won't work especially if someone doesn't love you.

Yeah, and what F'ng A said. Maybe he does. It sounds like he might. We scorps don't waste a lot of time with people we don't atleast care for deeply espevially for a legnth of time.

He's scared.

Sorry to hear of your pain. 😢 I'm still confused about the guy who wanted to step back just as we got close. I do suspect he felt more than he admitted, but to be honest I will never know. I thought when Scorpio guys told you secrets and asked (and listened to) your opinion, that indicated closeness... but, I guess maybe not!

Anyway, I do agree with others... four years is longer than a lot of marriages these days! You will probably find that you are unable to sustain it emotionally yourself when you are away, there will be so many new things going on.

But yes, amen to a change in the White House and an end to the war... wish I believed it.

Hugs. And keep safe.

SAV x

Tell me about it! Thanks everyone for the input. Yeah you guys are right, at least he was honest. And he's confessed last year that he's afraid to open himself because it took him 4 years to move on from a 2-yr relationship (5 years ago) with someone he fell in love with! He treats me really well and I do feel loved, but going by feelings wouldn't work if he can't say it when I'm away. Oh yeah, I can go away for a year (found out recently) so it's feasible to stay in touch.
But would you stay in a relationship with a scorpio (or any man) who just doesn't know if he will "fall in love" with you? It's been 8 months and though he shows it and I love it, it just wouldn't be enough when it's by phone. I think if he doesn't love me by the time I leave in June, I'll have to break up because he just can't decide if he's in love with me by month 9... and I can't wait for someone to fall in love because it doesn't work that way. You can't force someone to love you. Scorpios... to scared of what's good for them. :p

I'm a bit confused about how he would 'fall in love' over the next month or two if he hasn't already. However, this may well be because it's so long since I fell in love (as opposed to had hopeless romantic feelings for!) that I really can hardly remember how it feels and how it occurs... I think if you have a time-limit on it that isn't going to help, even though I know that of course you wouldn't say it to him.

Maybe it's one of those timing issues? Maybe he needs to feel you back off and there is NO pressure in order to connect with his feelings/see what he may miss out on?

Or maybe - just maybe - it has run its course?

x

Wow, great advice! See, I'm glad that I got advice from fellow scorpios (along w/ other signs) about this stubborn one. After he left, I packed all my belongings and came home. I think that I should detach myself and not fall in a bigger hole by staying over his place, don't want to get as emotionally attached as I am now. So now, I'm home (yes, us crabbies and our casitas)! And this detachment will be good for me, since his words of 'not knowing whether he will ever fall in love with me' hurt like hell!

Everyone's right, I shouldn't set a time frame of 2 months to see if he'll finally say something. Everything's great so why end it just because he can't say those 3 little words. And his last 2 relationships did end because of long distance (a g/f moved to Germany and another moved to Australia, but the move was so last minute - like mine - that I guess it's his luck). Also, the g/fs broke up with him, but that's according to him because they found the ldr too hard. But if I know he's worth it - which he is - then I should give it a try and like some people said here, show him the positive side to our relationship.

I guess I was pushing too hard when talking to him today. He called and I was so moody that I said everything was okay when my tone said otherwise. I don't want to pressure him any more than I just did, so I'll go back to my nurturing self. But now I don't know how different I'll react since I KNOW that he doesn't love me, the sexual attraction probably is put on a halt. [Scorpios... :0(]

Girlfriend, you never say it first. You always let them say it first.

It works best that way.

I just read the new posts...

EVERYONE'S COOL! Well, I did some phone calls and I don't have to go away for 4 years, now I'm moving to Michigan for a year! YAY! I know, big change! He's gonna stay in Florida in that year. But better news is that we're gonna be in the same country! Yeah, I don't see him doing well in the LDR dept (we both are alike in which we hate using the phone) so I do see the scorpios doing bad in ldr. But that's why I'm thinking of staying home in these last two months so we can improve on our verbal communication via phone, easing our way to a verbal relationship, since my scorp has shown lots of loving physical affection. And puleez, I'm cancer, so I'll understand my scorpio. Who better for them anyways, that's right, it's us! lol. Okay, and the fish too.

ScorpSuperior, you should've warned me yesterday!

After 3 months of dating, I asked if he was going to be in a relationship w/ me, in which he hurt me. Two months later, he asked one night if I can be his girlfriend. When we started dating, I got jealous of him talking to his female best friend every night for hours, months later, they both cut out that bs and they E-mail each other now (it was a mutual decision between them since he is in a relationship now... hehehe). So it will only be a matter of time before he says those words. Only a matter of time... all I have to do is be patient like I have been with all his little antics. I've gone through so much with him and he knows it! I guess I'll just pretend that nothing happened. Damn scorpios! You guys piss me off! It's not my fault that he thinks that I'm gonna do the same to him that his exes (all leos, one aquarius) did to him! I'll just go along with this smooth ride and see where it takes us.

You'll be just fine, tryp.


You sound like a genuine girl with a good head on her shoulders.

It's funny how this post turned to a chat room. :0)

UPDATE: My scorpio man came over and we spoke for a few hours. He doesn't want to break up, and he said that he loves me alot but is not in love with me. He even cried! Aww! The last time he cried was when he graduated from college in 2004! Yes... success!

He said that he's at a point where he really cares but because he knows that a ldr takes alot of energy, and because I've never experienced a ldr, that I'm too optimistic over what is coming ahead. He doesn't know if at this point, he can give me more than what he's been giving me emotionally of him. He's afraid that if he gives me more of him, that if we do the ldr, that I'll be too sensitive and break up because an ldr is too hard for me, and by that time he's given me too much of himself, and it'll take him longer to move on from me. So he's playing safe.

But I asked where his standing is in his end, and he said that he doesn't want to break up because everything is going so well and we're complimentary to each other. We'll see how this goes day by day. If it fails, at least we'll know why rather than quitting early because of his fears.

Sounds good! 🙂

trypanosoma,

You are a cancer and cancers' are known for their tenacity. If anyone can do it, you can 😉. I betcha!