Do you get like this.....
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Hotgal78 on Monday, April 28, 2008 and has 74 replies.
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I hear that Taurus get possessive/demanding when in relationships. Is this true? Do you want to control the relationship? If you feel that your mate may not be fully into you would you try to do things to change that? Even things that one may consider controlling or demanding?
My taurus has been coming on strong lately. He uses words like "chemistry and I am a forever type of man" all of a sudden and it seems as though he is making a way to see me almost daily even if for only a few moments. We are talking more now than ever. When I go out clubbing or hang out with family/friends he asks alot of questions like, ?Where were you? Did you have fun? What time did you get home?? or he'll say stuff like, "you are lucky I lost track of time because I was gonna come through to see how you get down (referring to me at the club) or I am gonna pop up when you least expect it." He has also very recently been calling me pet names. For a long time I couldn't tell whether he liked me at all.
Before our communication was problematic for a while, now it is like in the past month in a half he is like full speed ahead. It seems as though he injects himself into my plans/schedule without asking like he knows that it is ok and that I want to spend time with him.
I was just wondering when you are feeling someone do you does some of these things?
My taurus has been coming on strong lately. He uses words like "chemistry and I am a forever type of man" all of a sudden and it seems as though he is making a way to see me almost daily even if for only a few moments. We are talking more now than ever. When I go out clubbing or hang out with family/friends he asks alot of questions like, ?Where were you? Did you have fun? What time did you get home?? or he'll say stuff like, "you are lucky I lost track of time because I was gonna come through to see how you get down (referring to me at the club) or I am gonna pop up when you least expect it." He has also very recently been calling me pet names. For a long time I couldn't tell whether he liked me at all.
Before our communication was problematic for a while, now it is like in the past month in a half he is like full speed ahead. It seems as though he injects himself into my plans/schedule without asking like he knows that it is ok and that I want to spend time with him.
I was just wondering when you are feeling someone do you does some of these things?
Toro in the beginning we did not talk to or see each other that often. I couldn't even tell whether he liked me in the beginning. We kept contact regular but light.
Yes I like him. We had a disagreement at the beginning of the year where we stopped communicating. (I reacted negatively to a situation and told him I was done without talking the problem through with him or giving him a chance to talk to me about it.) Although I apologized for my reaction the same day, I stopped calling him altogether.
A month and a half passed and I called him to make sure that I had not hurt his feelings or offended him. He was upset that I would walk away so easily without discussing the issue but he understood why I was upset. We started talking again but not on a consistent basis, light touch. Like we were feeling each other out all over again.
We still didn't see each other for 3 weeks after that. What seems to have changed is he called me on Valentine's Day evening (I wasn't expecting him to call) and I didn't answer. I called him back later that evening and left a message. I spoke to him the next day and he seemed upset. Ever since them it seems like he has changed. When we first started dealing with each other again at the end of Feb. he made some sarcastic comments that let me know he was suspicious of me seeing other people, so I just figure maybe since then he is around more to make sure I am not or is showing me his interest.
Yes I like him. We had a disagreement at the beginning of the year where we stopped communicating. (I reacted negatively to a situation and told him I was done without talking the problem through with him or giving him a chance to talk to me about it.) Although I apologized for my reaction the same day, I stopped calling him altogether.
A month and a half passed and I called him to make sure that I had not hurt his feelings or offended him. He was upset that I would walk away so easily without discussing the issue but he understood why I was upset. We started talking again but not on a consistent basis, light touch. Like we were feeling each other out all over again.
We still didn't see each other for 3 weeks after that. What seems to have changed is he called me on Valentine's Day evening (I wasn't expecting him to call) and I didn't answer. I called him back later that evening and left a message. I spoke to him the next day and he seemed upset. Ever since them it seems like he has changed. When we first started dealing with each other again at the end of Feb. he made some sarcastic comments that let me know he was suspicious of me seeing other people, so I just figure maybe since then he is around more to make sure I am not or is showing me his interest.
Yes I like him. I just came from seeing him. Again I am starting to think he just wants to see me. He asked me to drop a CD that was in my car to him. Mind you I have are him everyday since wed. His birthday was sat. He turned 30. I was looking at my cell phone bill last week and his number is all over it.
Hotgirl, I'm going thru the same situation. I've been dating a Taurus for about 4 1/2 mths. We just clicked from the beginning, I'm a Cancer as well. He works weird hours but I've seen him every weekend since the New Year, and now he stays over from Friday until Monday morning when he leaves for work. We get along great, but I can see he has some controlling ways and some jealousy, I get the sarcastic remarks too if I take too long to call him back. I think the key is letting them see the true you and being honest. I do also see them at times as being clingy, not in a bad way but for some it may be too much. My Taurus and I talk at least 3 times a day, which I thought was weird but after some time I realized thats just how he is.. Once they like someone and have their focus on them, they'll pursue you steadily until you do something that turns them off. One thing I realized is they hate pressure so if he's what you want dont put any pressure on him to fully committ..I hope that helps..
"now he stays over from Friday until Monday morning when he leaves for work. We get along great, but I can see he has some controlling ways and some jealousy, I get the sarcastic remarks too if I take too long to call him back."
This is SOOOOO him.......I was caught off guard by the fact that he seemed like he planted his feet at my house and felt so comfortable like he didn't want to leave.
"One thing I realized is they hate pressure so if he's what you want dont put any pressure on him to fully commit."
Yes I realize that, which is the reason why communication was so difficult to begin with. I think he felt pressured early on because we got along so well so quickly. He would says stuff like "we are building. relax, let's take our time I ain't going nowhere."
I know I hurt his feelings when I got mad at him in January and told him I was done. I was feeling hurt and felt like he didn't want me and I acted out. He is ULTRA sensitive. Who woulda thought that a 6'3, 230lb man (looks like a sexy ass football player) could be so sensitive inside?
I mean he is so masculine but oh so soft on when it comes to his feelings. He gets really upset when if he feels like you are making him look unintelligent. He is such a cuddler. Sometimes when I am sleep I feel him take my hand into his and he'll kiss my forehead and fall asleep with his head in my neck.
So funny I think in the beginning I scared him by feeling him so quickly. I backed off and now we are back on and I am the one that is a little shock because of the sudden change. I'll take it day by day.
This is SOOOOO him.......I was caught off guard by the fact that he seemed like he planted his feet at my house and felt so comfortable like he didn't want to leave.
"One thing I realized is they hate pressure so if he's what you want dont put any pressure on him to fully commit."
Yes I realize that, which is the reason why communication was so difficult to begin with. I think he felt pressured early on because we got along so well so quickly. He would says stuff like "we are building. relax, let's take our time I ain't going nowhere."
I know I hurt his feelings when I got mad at him in January and told him I was done. I was feeling hurt and felt like he didn't want me and I acted out. He is ULTRA sensitive. Who woulda thought that a 6'3, 230lb man (looks like a sexy ass football player) could be so sensitive inside?
I mean he is so masculine but oh so soft on when it comes to his feelings. He gets really upset when if he feels like you are making him look unintelligent. He is such a cuddler. Sometimes when I am sleep I feel him take my hand into his and he'll kiss my forehead and fall asleep with his head in my neck.
So funny I think in the beginning I scared him by feeling him so quickly. I backed off and now we are back on and I am the one that is a little shock because of the sudden change. I'll take it day by day.
It's amazing, until I read your Taurus was 30, I thought we were seeing the same man. Lol.. Who said there is nothing to astrology. Your story is ideal to mine almost. When we first met he would mention a relationship and marriage in a casual way because we got along so well, he said it was too good to be true. Then after 3 weeks I started asking about a relationship because it felt so good. He got upset and said I was pressuring him to tell me how he felt. Since I'm a Cancer I need reassurance for me to feel confident about liking someone so much. Whats funny is all my guy friends tell me I'm already in a relationship since he spends all his free time with me, and when we're not together, we talk so much thru out the day. I just have to keep telling myself he's into me even without him telling me. One compatibility reading said that Taurus men don't express the way the feel very much until they know 100% and even then it's not that often, this can cause problems since us Cancers are so emotional It'll be interesting to see how our stories compare. Good luck and we can always vent on DXP to keep the anxiety down.
So is the fact that our Taurus men spend so much time with us a sign they think they've found the ONE, are is it still the "feeling out" phase?
"taurus dudes don't like to hang around people they don't like to hang around with."
I guess this also applies to when they sleep. Mines loves me to be near him when he is sleep, he wants me to stay. He has told me before that he is gona go to bed, and if I am not tired, I'd say ""okay, I will let you get your rest and talk to you later." His response: "Why do you have to leave, can't you stay and just be with me or watch me sleep?" So I'd ask, "Why is it important that I am here, it is not like you will realize that I am here, you will be sleep." He says, "Knowing that you are in my presence is enough and I like it when you are here when I wake up."
Maybe he is afraid of the boogie monster...lol
I guess this also applies to when they sleep. Mines loves me to be near him when he is sleep, he wants me to stay. He has told me before that he is gona go to bed, and if I am not tired, I'd say ""okay, I will let you get your rest and talk to you later." His response: "Why do you have to leave, can't you stay and just be with me or watch me sleep?" So I'd ask, "Why is it important that I am here, it is not like you will realize that I am here, you will be sleep." He says, "Knowing that you are in my presence is enough and I like it when you are here when I wake up."
Maybe he is afraid of the boogie monster...lol
GEG..... I am sorry to hear that you are hurting.
From what I know of Taurus (based on my guy only), he is not the type of person to say something unless he means it. He can't and won't be forced to say anything at all no matter how many times or ways you question him.
It took a while for him to tell me he liked me even after I told him first. He is just now starting to open up about his feelings and stuff. I know your guy did not come to this conclusion quickly. I think because you have been dating so long that he is being honest. I do not think that he would say something like that if he didn't mean it or to get a reaction out of you.
It seems likes because Taurus are so sensitive, they would try to spare your hurt as best they could without inflicting unnecessary or additional intentional pain, so I guess what I am saying is I think maybe he thought about it and the conclusion he came to is what he said.
Maybe perhaps distancing yourselves and giving him space is what he needs right now, especially if you say that you have not gone long periods of time without contact. I mean when I stopped talking to Mr. T, it wasn't because I wanted to, I felt it was necessary.
It seems like your guy has been prolonging this because he knows it is gonna hurt you and your children, but I think that he genuinely LOVES YOU & YOUR CHILDREN if he can be honest to tell you that it is not working for him right now.
Although it is hurting you, in the long run I think you would rather prefer his honesty over his obligation to stay with you if that is truly not where his heart wants to be.
You can and should send him a birthday wish if that is what you feel led to do on that day. I mean you just don't stop loving someone overnight, it is a gradual process to change how you feel and sometimes you never stop loving them, you just love them in a different way.
Wish you the best.
From what I know of Taurus (based on my guy only), he is not the type of person to say something unless he means it. He can't and won't be forced to say anything at all no matter how many times or ways you question him.
It took a while for him to tell me he liked me even after I told him first. He is just now starting to open up about his feelings and stuff. I know your guy did not come to this conclusion quickly. I think because you have been dating so long that he is being honest. I do not think that he would say something like that if he didn't mean it or to get a reaction out of you.
It seems likes because Taurus are so sensitive, they would try to spare your hurt as best they could without inflicting unnecessary or additional intentional pain, so I guess what I am saying is I think maybe he thought about it and the conclusion he came to is what he said.
Maybe perhaps distancing yourselves and giving him space is what he needs right now, especially if you say that you have not gone long periods of time without contact. I mean when I stopped talking to Mr. T, it wasn't because I wanted to, I felt it was necessary.
It seems like your guy has been prolonging this because he knows it is gonna hurt you and your children, but I think that he genuinely LOVES YOU & YOUR CHILDREN if he can be honest to tell you that it is not working for him right now.
Although it is hurting you, in the long run I think you would rather prefer his honesty over his obligation to stay with you if that is truly not where his heart wants to be.
You can and should send him a birthday wish if that is what you feel led to do on that day. I mean you just don't stop loving someone overnight, it is a gradual process to change how you feel and sometimes you never stop loving them, you just love them in a different way.
Wish you the best.
Maybe he may change his mind, but only time will tell. You say you've been off and on a few times which means that he wasn't totally gone. I think since he feels he needs to focus on him, you need to focus on you and your kids as hard as it may be. I know people may say that you can be friends, but I do not think it happens right away when feelings still run so deeply. I think it is possible to salvage a freindhsip.
thank you!
"Maybe he does need to focus on him! I just wish he could tell me that!"
Sometimes we have to read a persons actions as opposed to listening out for their words to detrmine our next move.
Sometimes we have to read a persons actions as opposed to listening out for their words to detrmine our next move.
Thanks Toro. I appreciate your feedback. I hope we can get it together too..I can say I'm leaning towards being in love, which is even more scary since we dont talk about how we feel.. He told me early on to just wait and let his feelings flow from his heart, I guess it shouldn't matter what he says as long as his actions are there and consistent. But Cancers are run by emotions..
Hotgirl when is your birthday? I'm July 22nd..
quick update.... guess who text and started a short text convo? Yes so this is weird.
Greeneyed, Taurus men are slow to let go from what I've read.. Has something to with them liking routine and predictability, I think..
"Hotgirl when is your birthday?"
7/11
7/11
well here is simple request as well as an upday on my mr.t
The first thing is i would like to ask for prayers for my brother who is in iraq! He was in a car boming yesterday. He is alive but has server injuries! I ask that you pray for him for a fast recovery. I aslo ask that you pray for the two families that lost their loved ones and for the rest of the men that are still in citical contidion!! thank you so much from the bottom of my heat!!
About Mr. T, yesterday out of the blue he sent his second random text. asking how me and this kids were. Our conversation turned into about a 4hours and a ending that he wrote....."it was lovley talking to you"
This mornig when i found out about my brother I sent out a text to all that know him.
he responded i am sorry ley me know if i can help" i sent him a text thanking him!! We got into another long conversation i can tell that hes really down and going through some stuff. i offered him my ear. but he said "thank you but i need to get through this on my own
i do miss you."
what i got from this... he does not want me to be around right now while hes facing his difficulties. (however he knows that I said I can not be friends wiht him) so i think he was trying to reasure me that he does miss me. cause I did not ask him that. way random that he said that dont you think and what do you get out of all of this?
GEG
The first thing is i would like to ask for prayers for my brother who is in iraq! He was in a car boming yesterday. He is alive but has server injuries! I ask that you pray for him for a fast recovery. I aslo ask that you pray for the two families that lost their loved ones and for the rest of the men that are still in citical contidion!! thank you so much from the bottom of my heat!!
About Mr. T, yesterday out of the blue he sent his second random text. asking how me and this kids were. Our conversation turned into about a 4hours and a ending that he wrote....."it was lovley talking to you"
This mornig when i found out about my brother I sent out a text to all that know him.
he responded i am sorry ley me know if i can help" i sent him a text thanking him!! We got into another long conversation i can tell that hes really down and going through some stuff. i offered him my ear. but he said "thank you but i need to get through this on my own
i do miss you."what i got from this... he does not want me to be around right now while hes facing his difficulties. (however he knows that I said I can not be friends wiht him) so i think he was trying to reasure me that he does miss me. cause I did not ask him that. way random that he said that dont you think and what do you get out of all of this?
GEG
thank you!!
I just reread what i wrote!! Its too bad you cant go back and change your spelling errors!!
Yes i pray for all the troops to come home soon!!
As far as Mr.T I hold everything he does close to my heart! He's the one that has made both contacts the last three weeks, and then told me he misses me!! Im pretty sure hes feeling something!! thank you toro !!
I just reread what i wrote!! Its too bad you cant go back and change your spelling errors!!
Yes i pray for all the troops to come home soon!!
As far as Mr.T I hold everything he does close to my heart! He's the one that has made both contacts the last three weeks, and then told me he misses me!! Im pretty sure hes feeling something!! thank you toro !!
GEG, My prayers are with you and your family and hope for a safe return.
Toro, thanks I think my Taurus does have a lot of emotions bottled up, he is telling all his friends about me and they're asking when they can meet me, makes me kind nervous in a sense. I think he doesnt want to appear too vulnerable, he mentioned early that at one time he told a woman how he felt and she thought he was soft. So I think he is trying to be extra sure I'm geninue and that I'm what he wants..Its kind of weird, this Cancer-Taurus thing, we're so in sync with each other, it's like we're friends, but with a deep physical connection. All the guys I know were either someone I couldnt talk to on all levels or the guys were friends because there was no physical connection. It's like the best of both worlds with him, I just hope it lasts..
Toro, thanks I think my Taurus does have a lot of emotions bottled up, he is telling all his friends about me and they're asking when they can meet me, makes me kind nervous in a sense. I think he doesnt want to appear too vulnerable, he mentioned early that at one time he told a woman how he felt and she thought he was soft. So I think he is trying to be extra sure I'm geninue and that I'm what he wants..Its kind of weird, this Cancer-Taurus thing, we're so in sync with each other, it's like we're friends, but with a deep physical connection. All the guys I know were either someone I couldnt talk to on all levels or the guys were friends because there was no physical connection. It's like the best of both worlds with him, I just hope it lasts..
thank you allluv72 and mercinaries!!
GEG - My prayers are with you and your family.
It seems as though MR. T has an ideal view on how a woman (he is thinking of dating) should be. Like for instance, he has seen me in pjs, no makeup, just woke up, scarf still on, etc. BUT when it is time to go out he looks at me for my presentation. (e.g.- manicured hands/feet, nice clothing, smell good, hair done, etc.) He always complements me even when I am wearing just sweats or a t-shirt and shorts around the house.
He comments on the way I organize my house, my closet, and stuff like that. At times I feel like I am under a microscope, like he is sizing me up. He told me one day that he was talking to his mother (he wouldn't get into detail) but just that they talked and he told her I was one of the good ones. I met her a few times, she is always pleasant.
I notice he appreciates the smallest things. Like for his birthday I was going to take him out to dinner to this nice restaurant but instead he wanted me to make him a home cooked meal.
Do you prefer more sentimental thought felt gestures to materialist ones?
He comments on the way I organize my house, my closet, and stuff like that. At times I feel like I am under a microscope, like he is sizing me up. He told me one day that he was talking to his mother (he wouldn't get into detail) but just that they talked and he told her I was one of the good ones. I met her a few times, she is always pleasant.
I notice he appreciates the smallest things. Like for his birthday I was going to take him out to dinner to this nice restaurant but instead he wanted me to make him a home cooked meal.
Do you prefer more sentimental thought felt gestures to materialist ones?
I would have to say yes. I think they think long term and marriage the minute they start dating someone so they scan you carefully. Mine, told me I was a "keeper" the day after our first date, because I told him not to put $ 50 on the prepaid game cards at the arcade we went to. I told him it was too much money and he didn't need to spend that much for us to have fun and enjoy each other. To me, it was nothing to him it was the world, something as simple at that made him view me as possible girlfriend/wife material. He told all his friends about it, I thought he was nuts..
when is your b-day mec?
*merc
GEG - that is good to hear. At least you know that while all this is going on that you are still on his mind. With prayer and support your brother will come out of this ordeal stronger than before.
allluv72 - when I cooked one night, he came over to get some food. He couldn't stay so I made his to go. I didn't know that his best friend was going to be with him when he pulled up. Apparently when he left he ended up sharing his food with his friend (reluctantly I know). He called me and thanked me for the food and told me how good it was and how much he appreciated me cooking. He told me that his friend said that I definitely knew my way around the kitchen. That made me feel good.
I notice that Mr. T is extremely cautious by nature. Toro is right about the withholding information when they like someone. I read somewhere before that they are silent (not giving away much) around those they like but can talk without problems around those they
I highly doubt that he trust people much either. It takes a hella long time for him to trust you. He is just now starting to let his guard down with me and tell me personal things. He has shown me pictures of his family. I met his mother, older brother and best friend along with a few other childhood friends.
allluv72 - when I cooked one night, he came over to get some food. He couldn't stay so I made his to go. I didn't know that his best friend was going to be with him when he pulled up. Apparently when he left he ended up sharing his food with his friend (reluctantly I know). He called me and thanked me for the food and told me how good it was and how much he appreciated me cooking. He told me that his friend said that I definitely knew my way around the kitchen. That made me feel good.
I notice that Mr. T is extremely cautious by nature. Toro is right about the withholding information when they like someone. I read somewhere before that they are silent (not giving away much) around those they like but can talk without problems around those they
I highly doubt that he trust people much either. It takes a hella long time for him to trust you. He is just now starting to let his guard down with me and tell me personal things. He has shown me pictures of his family. I met his mother, older brother and best friend along with a few other childhood friends.
I agree that you should try to be more natural.
For Taurus it seems when you are feeling someone you don't do the things that you naturally do with someone you aren't feeling, which would lead the person you do like to think otherwise or question where they stand with you. Trying to be too careful I guess.
It is just hard with Taurus' sometimes because although you like a person it seems as though you tend to stop just being yourself (or hide yourself for fear of rejection)the more you like the person, which is usually the opposite.
When most people like each other and become comfortable walls come cown. I think for Taurus the walls are down for those that they are okay with but build up walls for those that hold their interest.
For Taurus it seems when you are feeling someone you don't do the things that you naturally do with someone you aren't feeling, which would lead the person you do like to think otherwise or question where they stand with you. Trying to be too careful I guess.
It is just hard with Taurus' sometimes because although you like a person it seems as though you tend to stop just being yourself (or hide yourself for fear of rejection)the more you like the person, which is usually the opposite.
When most people like each other and become comfortable walls come cown. I think for Taurus the walls are down for those that they are okay with but build up walls for those that hold their interest.
Thanks Toro. Ok tell me what you think.. My Mr.T is in the process of moving and getting a roommate, only problem is there is a 2 mth gap between when his lease ends and his friends. So I tell him since you're always here on the weekends why not just stay here for the 2 mths (trust me I rolled it around in my mind for months). To my surprise, he says when two people are in a relationship and they shack up and then later get married (huh???) it sometimes doesn't work, plus its wrong in a religious sense. I was utterly impressed, however my first thought was "We're in a relationship" I should have let it go but I just couldn't. So I take the bait and actually say "we're in a relationship?" he then asks if I'm ready to make it official, of course I was grinning from ear-to-ear, so I tell him I was just kind of waiting on him, he then changes and says he's not ready because of his current financial situation and he's got a lot on his mind due to him desperately looking for another job..I was crushed, I thought what just happened, didn't he just give the scenario of two (basically he and I) being in a relationship and then the possibility of marriage?? Toro, what are your thoughts you seem to have these men down to a science???
Hotgirl78, good for you on the cooking skills. My Mr.T joked about my lack of cooking skills but my remedy was me pulling recipies of the internet and pulling out old cookbooks. I try a new dish every other week.. All the sites I've read said that cooking is partly the way to their hearts the other part is being honest and loyal. So you're on your way..
GEG, yes everyone is telling me we're in a relationship. He calls me as soon as I get in the car to drive to work, we talk on and off while I'm at work and then he calls before he goes to bed. He called me today to tell me he was going out with a friend for drinks and wouldnt get to my house at the usual time tomorrow, I thought he treats me like a girlfriend. But as soon as I mention it, its like he panics, goes into excuse mode. Kind of makes me doubt what I feel between us. Yes we are intimate, funny how a man can pull in morals when it fits them..lol He usually stays the weekends, not every day depending on his rotating work schedule. I'll try to act like nothing, some days I'm fine, then others my mind wonders whats the problem with just saying it.
I think he's committment scared as well, I've told him a few times I dont think he's ready, his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and they were together 6 years. Every now and again he'll say 'its normal for a woman to cheat" or "a woman can appear to be the sweetest woman but have 2-3 guys that she's seeing" Makes me wonder if I'm setting myself up for heartache.
I think he's committment scared as well, I've told him a few times I dont think he's ready, his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and they were together 6 years. Every now and again he'll say 'its normal for a woman to cheat" or "a woman can appear to be the sweetest woman but have 2-3 guys that she's seeing" Makes me wonder if I'm setting myself up for heartache.
Thanks Toro. He is working now but his pay was drastically cut. So on top of deciding where to live, and looking for a job he's overwhelmed. Its just confusing becuase several times he's mentioned "a relationship" I asked him once if he would fly home with me to NY he said "it depends on how far along the relationship is" totally confused me. The mixed signals is worse then him totally saying no and not spending a lot of time with me. In the beginning he was slowly telling me things, but I got comfortable and started to ask, when I did that he felt pressured and shut completely down. I think he got afraid that he was getting vulnerable and me asking made him realize he was letting his guard down.
Thanks Toro. I sensed he had trust issues from the first few weeks. One night he called for our nightly talk before he goes to bed, I was blow drying my hair, after we talked for about 2 min I said in a serious tone, ok I've got to go I'll talk to you tomorrow. I had planned on calling him back when I finished my hair, he assumed I was brushing him off because he says in a sarcastic tone "If you have company all you had to do was say so!!." It caught me totally off guard. I backed down and told him I was blow drying my hair, I felt terrible, he then changed up and said he was only kidding. I had doubts but knew in my heart he was serious and probably hurt..But I can tell he watching and waiting to see if he gets a hint that there maybe someone else.
Yeah those mixed signals are going to send me to the mental institute..lol. I had no idea until recently how much his financial situation was bothering him, he's always laughing and joking with me. So I'll back off, I'm planning on taking him out for his birthday next weekend, so hopefully that'll help..
I am starting to see just how similar these T men are.
"One night he called for our nightly talk before he goes to bed, I was blow drying my hair, after we talked for about 2 min I said in a serious tone, ok I've got to go I'll talk to you tomorrow. I had planned on calling him back when I finished my hair, he assumed I was brushing him off because he says in a sarcastic tone "If you have company all you had to do was say so!!." It caught me totally off guard."
allluv72 - Mr. T did the same thing to me just 3 weeks ago. We had spent from Friday to Tuesday together. Of course we both went our way to go to work in the morning and stuff but after work we were together for 4 nites straight. So Wed nite we didn't speak. I was tired and I am not used to us spending so much time together especially since we are just now getting back on track after our hiatus.
So he calls me one Thursday after I get off work and maybe I didn't have the most pleasant voice. He heard me fumbling in my car with my blue tooth and then he heard me say to my passenger who was exiting that I would be right up in a minute. All of a sudden he says "you know if you are caught up, I would hope that you would tell me. I mean you are a grown woman." I was like....HHHHUUUHHH, WTH did that come from.
He too tried to play it off and say that he was trying to say if I am busy let him know and he will call me back. I thought to myself, why would he then refer to me being a grown woman and he'd hope that I would tell him? Anywhooo,
We used to be on this schedule where it was every weekend. At first I would be really suspicious thinking that he had girlfriend somewhere who he was spending all his time with during the week. I talked to one of my friends who said that she did not believe that. She said that if anything, usually if you don't work on weekends you usually spend that time with your SO. Well that has since changed, now he comes over and spends the night throughout the week and on the weekend.
"One night he called for our nightly talk before he goes to bed, I was blow drying my hair, after we talked for about 2 min I said in a serious tone, ok I've got to go I'll talk to you tomorrow. I had planned on calling him back when I finished my hair, he assumed I was brushing him off because he says in a sarcastic tone "If you have company all you had to do was say so!!." It caught me totally off guard."
allluv72 - Mr. T did the same thing to me just 3 weeks ago. We had spent from Friday to Tuesday together. Of course we both went our way to go to work in the morning and stuff but after work we were together for 4 nites straight. So Wed nite we didn't speak. I was tired and I am not used to us spending so much time together especially since we are just now getting back on track after our hiatus.
So he calls me one Thursday after I get off work and maybe I didn't have the most pleasant voice. He heard me fumbling in my car with my blue tooth and then he heard me say to my passenger who was exiting that I would be right up in a minute. All of a sudden he says "you know if you are caught up, I would hope that you would tell me. I mean you are a grown woman." I was like....HHHHUUUHHH, WTH did that come from.
He too tried to play it off and say that he was trying to say if I am busy let him know and he will call me back. I thought to myself, why would he then refer to me being a grown woman and he'd hope that I would tell him? Anywhooo,
We used to be on this schedule where it was every weekend. At first I would be really suspicious thinking that he had girlfriend somewhere who he was spending all his time with during the week. I talked to one of my friends who said that she did not believe that. She said that if anything, usually if you don't work on weekends you usually spend that time with your SO. Well that has since changed, now he comes over and spends the night throughout the week and on the weekend.
Yeah, I do see so many similarites. I know mine has serious insecurity issues, he always says in the morning, when he calls and I'm still sleeping that my other boyfriend (he's named this imaginary boyfriend Henry) must have kept me up too late, and how I should tell him to go home so I can get some rest..lol. I play along but its getting kind of old, because I give him so much effort and all of my free time on the weekends. I told him early on it doesn't matter if it's 3pm or 3am when he comes there still wont be anyone at my house. I thought that would assure him there's no one else, but I guess time will be the only thing that helps with his insecurity. When my home phone rings (which it rarely does) I feel like he's watching closely to see my expression or read my body language to see if he can see if it may be a man.
Prime example of Mr. T.being demanding, lately we have been talking everyday. I have had a very stressful week, which he knew about. Our last convo was wed nite. I know he expected me to call him last nite but I didn't. He called me @ midnite but I was sleep. I call him just now when I get off work and he answers the phone with "damn it took you that long to call me back. I haven't spoken to you in days" so I remind him that we spoke on wed and that I was tired and stressed with work. His response. "what does that have to do with me? You go to that place every day. Once you leave that place you get back to life" I chuckled because I thought it was cute. It was like he was having a "give me attention" tantrum. Sorry for mispelled words. I'm on my blackberry. Keypad sucks.
Hotgal since our stories are so similar, here's mine about being demanding. I went to the mall during my lunch hour about a month ago. I work in an office so I always keep my blackberry on vibrate. I usually forget to turn the ringer on when I go to lunch. After I back to my desk, I say my Mr. T called, so I call back and he gives me this sarcastic remark about how I'm gonna get it for taking so long. I tell him I'm sorry but I was at the mall, before I could go any farther to explain about the phone being on vibrate he says in a joking way ( I guess he was joking...lol)"You're phone works at the mall!" We laughed but now that I think about it if I dont answer the first time and take longer then 5 min to call back I always get some type of sarcastic remark.
Yeah allluv I see the similarities. I think that they just usefb to routine and when we do something that they feel is out of ordinary then they get suspicious of us. He and I just talked and I told him that I was going out tonight. Why did he call me a few minutes later and tell me that he needs to borrow my car. So I remind him that I am going out. He ask me what time I am coming home. I tell him by 1am. He gets silent and then says ok. Now what I find funny is that he hasn't needed to use my car all week. He has had a car. Why all of a sudden 10 mins after I tell him I am going out he tells me he wants my car.lol!
Have any of you had a Taurus with an wandering eye. Meaning, obviously looking at other women in your presence? Mine does and its bothers me badly, when I mentioned it to him he said he's always been like that. It means nothing because he's with me, I don't know if I'll be able to deal with it in the future. I've read that Taurus men are flirty but loyal when in relationships.
"when is your b-day mec?"
if you're gonna call me mec call me mecca lol
and it's May 9th
Happy soon to be birthday "Mecca" LOL
we share the same birthday!
if you're gonna call me mec call me mecca lol
and it's May 9th
Happy soon to be birthday "Mecca" LOL
we share the same birthday!
Ok I need some input. This weekend I was taking my Mr.T out for his birthday dinner. I went back and forth about asking him to invite one of his friends and their spouse, but being I havent really been in a setting with any of his friends I was a little nervous so I decided it would just be he and I. His cousin came in town at the last minute, as I'm getting dressed, he tells me his cousin and his female friend were going to meet us at the restaurant. I was disgusted because we had been out all day and I really wasnt in the mood to socialize, plus to be honest I was nervous, I'm a Cancer so I'm not too social and really need to pump myself up to interact with new people. So I got upset and told him he never even asked me if it was ok if he invite someone. We had an hugh argument, I told him it wasnt really about him inviting someone but he didnt even ask me just told me. So I guess his stubborn side kicked in and he told me in a matter of fact voice, that he doesnt ask anyone. That irked me till no end, I told him in order for two people to be in a relationship they must consider the other person and not just always control and expect the other person to go along with whatever. I made up my mind I was done. I told him I didnt think he was ready for a relationship and that I think he needed a woman who wanted a man to provide more direction and take control all of the time. I guess me mentioning him needing a different type of woman made him realize I was fed up, because he left came and apologized for raising his voice and he will ask next time. I guess I'm seeing a pattern of him controlling the situation without even considering me. Am I making a mountain out of a mole hill?
Thanks GB. Yes, I know I did go over the top. 50% was my fear of meeting new people but there have been a few times he's assumed and didn't consider me. He's a good guy, takes control when I get my car serviced which I like, helps me around the house, and very humorous. But I know the need to control is gonna irk me until I cant take it any more. Me telling him he needed a different type of woman wasn't out of spite it, he picks at times, about my cooking, the way I do things and the inviting someone without even asking just sent me over the edge. The mate I want will be catering and at times compromising, I am starting to realize there will be no compromising on some things with Mr. T that makes me feel as though I'm wasting my time.
allluv72 - I know exactly what you are experiencing, which is the reason I started the thread in the first place. Mr. T does the same thing. He seems to imply his wishes without asking. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that he has been spoiled and his most serious relationship was with an older woman.
He just expects things to go his way and when they don't he gets mad and then becomes distant and silent. I too feel that he is not ready for a relationship, and if he is then maybe I am not the woman for him. I know he likes the traditional roles, but I refuse to be told what to do. I mean I wanna date a man not my father.
He just expects things to go his way and when they don't he gets mad and then becomes distant and silent. I too feel that he is not ready for a relationship, and if he is then maybe I am not the woman for him. I know he likes the traditional roles, but I refuse to be told what to do. I mean I wanna date a man not my father.
Hotgirl78 - Our stories are so similar its scary. I tell my Mr T, he reminds me of my dad so much with his ways and controlling nature. My dad and I bump heads because he tries to control how I handle and do things, even with me being 35. I told Mr. T maybe he needed someone younger who needed more direction. The funny thing is I think his bark is smaller then my bite, he'll be quick to yell and argue when I'll shut down and become silent, but once I break my silence I'm firm. He on the other hand will think after the argument and then come back calm.. The more I give him the silent treatment the more he gets irrriated and tries to smooth things over, I don't try to play games by giving him the silent treatment its just the way I'm wired, plus I don't want to say the wrong thing when I'm very upset. I really want things to work, but his picky ways and blunt way of saying things hurts my feelings. What bothers me is when we first started dating he gave the impression of being catering and very affectionate when he's really not as much, as he lead me to believe. We've had several discussions about why he doenst hold my hand while we're in public like the first few months. He doenst seem to understand why it even bothers me. I think because he hasn't had much serious dating experience, he doesn't understand how you start off is usually what people expect of you. So of course because I ask he's dug his heels in tighter and wont do it at all. I told him the things he did the first few months is what made me want to date in the first place. He proceeded to tell me he's not a person of routine, which in my opinion is not true, because every morning he calls me when I'm driving to work.
Yeah the stories are too similar. He is and likes routine. Don't let him fool you, that is the reason why when you go cold on him it bothers him, because you are Fing with the routine. I just don't know. I like for a man to take control in certain areas of my relationship, but I do not like it when I feel like he is controlling everything. It makes me feel as thought I am an invalid or can't do things on my own. I too experienced the change in the behavior.
The charming demeanor to begin with, that is what pulls you in. Now that he is comfortable things have changed. If I had known that he was this controlling and demanding that he have his way I probably wouldn't have continued to talk to him. I mean it is frustrating to no ends when you feel as though your thoughts/feelings don't mean didly squat. Mines is stubborn, BUT I am just as if not more stubborn than him. As a cancer once I go back into my shell it is very difficult for me to come back out until I am ready.
The charming demeanor to begin with, that is what pulls you in. Now that he is comfortable things have changed. If I had known that he was this controlling and demanding that he have his way I probably wouldn't have continued to talk to him. I mean it is frustrating to no ends when you feel as though your thoughts/feelings don't mean didly squat. Mines is stubborn, BUT I am just as if not more stubborn than him. As a cancer once I go back into my shell it is very difficult for me to come back out until I am ready.
Yes, I can feel myself changing in how I feel about him. I was giddy and excited the first few months. Whats weird is, everyone knows about me as if I'm his girlfriend. On Mothers Day he was talking to his mom and she told him to tell me hello. I was shocked because I had no idea he had even told her about me. Which totally confuses me, I'm special enough for him to introduce me to his cousin, want to bring me to cookouts even talk to his parents about me, yet you wont value my feelings or compromise??
We still haven't officially said we're together, yet he says things like "we'll have to see if we're still together in a year" it makes me think because I put pressure on him early to commit, he wont mention that we're "together" even though we are. He's been at my house the last two weeks. Its just so confusing, his cousin said to us after dinner, you two might as well get married you've been dating almost 6 mths, we both were like a deer in headlights with nothing to say.. The same night we had the argument after dinner a guy that I hadn't talked to in months called at 12:30, I normally wouldn't have answered but because Mr. T heard the phone ring and it was after midnight I knew I had to answer in order not to look suspicious. I made ideal conversation, told the guy I was seeing someone. Afterward I felt the need to explain, he seemed ok because he said either way it was a no win situation, if I ignore the call it looks bad, if I answer it looks like I talk to men at strange hours when he's not around. He made his sarcastic remarks but he says he could tell it wasn't someone I was friendly with or someone I talk to on a regular basis. I later text the guy and told him not to call me, he was a guy I meet once and I wasn't impressed so it was no biggie.
Now that I think back he was very charming to the point where it made me wonder what the catch was. He would pull my chair close when we were sitting side by side that was on our second date. Now he could care less about affection, he's like night and day. You are right he does like routine, on the days I don't answer when he calls in the morning, he gives me a sarcastic remark about me getting a spanking when he sees me. I just don't get it.. One of best friends will soon be divorcing her Taurus husband when I told her I was seeing one she said things will be fine until he starts to try to control things, they're good people to date but they're jealous and controlling nature will drive you crazy.
We still haven't officially said we're together, yet he says things like "we'll have to see if we're still together in a year" it makes me think because I put pressure on him early to commit, he wont mention that we're "together" even though we are. He's been at my house the last two weeks. Its just so confusing, his cousin said to us after dinner, you two might as well get married you've been dating almost 6 mths, we both were like a deer in headlights with nothing to say.. The same night we had the argument after dinner a guy that I hadn't talked to in months called at 12:30, I normally wouldn't have answered but because Mr. T heard the phone ring and it was after midnight I knew I had to answer in order not to look suspicious. I made ideal conversation, told the guy I was seeing someone. Afterward I felt the need to explain, he seemed ok because he said either way it was a no win situation, if I ignore the call it looks bad, if I answer it looks like I talk to men at strange hours when he's not around. He made his sarcastic remarks but he says he could tell it wasn't someone I was friendly with or someone I talk to on a regular basis. I later text the guy and told him not to call me, he was a guy I meet once and I wasn't impressed so it was no biggie.
Now that I think back he was very charming to the point where it made me wonder what the catch was. He would pull my chair close when we were sitting side by side that was on our second date. Now he could care less about affection, he's like night and day. You are right he does like routine, on the days I don't answer when he calls in the morning, he gives me a sarcastic remark about me getting a spanking when he sees me. I just don't get it.. One of best friends will soon be divorcing her Taurus husband when I told her I was seeing one she said things will be fine until he starts to try to control things, they're good people to date but they're jealous and controlling nature will drive you crazy.
allluv - I just sent you a PM
i feel the inessplainable need to chime in here. i'm not ezaxtly sure that tauurs realy needs to have all of the control. i think they really just prefer someone trustworthy to have control. if you don't have their trust, i doubt you will have free control. i think someone just needs to lead with a bull, whether it be you or him. i don't nkow why he can't share control though, that just seems kinda silly to me
maybe the two of you are having trouble agreeing on what you would consider important
have you talked clearly about your goals and what you expect from each other?
maybe the two of you are having trouble agreeing on what you would consider important
have you talked clearly about your goals and what you expect from each other?
"don't date young cancer chicks."
Funny you would say that. I am starting to think that Taurus males fare better with older women who cater to their needs, regardless of their sign.
Funny you would say that. I am starting to think that Taurus males fare better with older women who cater to their needs, regardless of their sign.
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