How do you fall out of love with someone..

...that you don't want to fall out of love with?




Teach me, because I'm in too deep. It would be much easier to face reality if dreams wouldn't deceive me every night. For the first time in these few years that I've been here, I'll ask for advice.


It doesn't make sense, but have you ever experienced it? Let's say that, hypothetically, you're in love with someone that you shouldn't be in love with. It just can't happen, and you know it. But (even though they mess with your sleep patterns) you love being in love with them. You're not sure if you're ready to let the feeling go, even though you should, and you know that you should. At times, it's just too inspiring to dismiss.

What would you do? What would you focus on doing?


Would you allow a part of you to be in love with them still?

Or would you try to fall out of love? As hard as it may be.

If you decide this is what you want to do, I can show you the path.

What do you suggest?

You must first decide what you are going to do.

I've decided not to forget, but to fall out of love.

Tell me more about this relationship you wish to remember but of which you need to free yourself. You can PM me if you'd prefer.

I can't see it but I'm guessing that it's one of those i-added-funny-text-to-a-pic ones.

hit yorself with a brick evrytime u think something romantic

Posted by Theatrum
...that you don't want to fall out of love with?




Teach me, because I'm in too deep. It would be much easier to face reality if dreams wouldn't deceive me every night. For the first time in these few years that I've been here, I'll ask for advice.


It doesn't make sense, but have you ever experienced it? Let's say that, hypothetically, you're in love with someone that you shouldn't be in love with. It just can't happen, and you know it. But (even though they mess with your sleep patterns) you love being in love with them. You're not sure if you're ready to let the feeling go, even though you should, and you know that you should. At times, it's just too inspiring to dismiss.

What would you do? What would you focus on doing?


Would you allow a part of you to be in love with them still?

Or would you try to fall out of love? As hard as it may be.

Distance.

Temporary emotional detachment to gain some perspective on what is it you really want.

Keeping yourself preoccupied with hobbies that you gives you a great sense of fulfillment.

Reading, photography, art, nature and isolation, music, etc.

Before you know it, this individual will be just a passing memory.

I think the first thing is acceptance. Accepting that you are going to suffer for a bit, and not fearing it. Allow yourself to grieve. If you repress it, it will manifest negatively in other areas, IMO, and possibly keep re-emerging.

Being busy is really important IMO, but you are also going to have to go through a good deal of just suffering through the emotions. Just accept that when those times come, its a natural thing and don't fear it. Meditation has really helped me to deal with emotional swings related to lost love.

Careful with music though - specifically the kind of music. Often times music can re-open those emotional channels. I would listen to up-tempo stuff that gives you energy - nothing overly emotional/sentimental.

Posted by staelz
hit yorself with a brick evrytime u think something romantic

HAHA. Will do, thanks for the advice 😄

T-Bull & TLS, sincerely thank you for the responses guys.

For a few days now the same dream had me waking up randomly and as stupid as it might sound, it makes me afraid to go back to sleep. My dreams show me all these wonderful scenarios that can never be and make me believe for a moment that it's reality, until actual reality slaps me in the face. I can't allow myself to go on like that anymore. Note that I'm not loosing a lover. He never was my lover. Just my love. I've accepted my situation a long time ago, and I think that I've already lived through the worst part of this "adventure" of mine. This is not something that happened yesterday. Now I just need to accept that I actually want to fall out of love, and focus on doing so. I'm fine during the day, my days are mostly occupied with things I love doing and people I love spending time with. Night is my enemy.


Your advice really does give me strength to at least try to let this go once and for all.



And TLS, I really do know where you're coming from with the music thing. The soundtrack of my first heartbreak was Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love". Huge mistake. Also never, EVER listen to Evanescence's "My Immortal" when grieveing. Learned the hard way.

Lol at the smacking yourself with brick comment xD

My advice is you should accept reality and not let your mind wander to "what ifs". Meet up with friends, work out or set yourself some goals. 😄 good luck!

Theatrum, I'm going through the same thing. Every few weeks, I will feel stronger, maybe even have an entire week where I am stable and not thinking about them as much, confident that I can move on. Then I get hit with a dream also. The dreams are the worst; they are like a hologram and your heart really does experience it. And no matter what your conscious mind tells you when you're awake, the emotions still linger, and powerfully. Those next couple days after the dream can be horrendous. I have to wonder if trying to fight the feelings, stuffing them away, causes them to resurface in the dreams, and then you pay for it several x's over because the dream is worse than the fantasizing.

A friend told me to write like a love letter expressing everything, imagine they are listening as you read it, and then burn it. Now I'd probably have to trade in my mancard to do that, but you could get away with it. I think expressing is always better than repressing.

The exact same thing keeps happening to me. Just when I truly start to believe that my thoughts & feelings are fading, the subconscious mind goes NOPE. And there we go all over again. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. I laughed at the trade in your mancard thing. But hey, if no one knows about it, why the hell not, right?


I do write, and it really does help. Never tried burning it though. Let ya know how that works out for me, haha!

Posted by Theatrum
T-Bull & TLS, sincerely thank you for the responses guys.

For a few days now the same dream had me waking up randomly and as stupid as it might sound, it makes me afraid to go back to sleep. My dreams show me all these wonderful scenarios that can never be and make me believe for a moment that it's reality, until actual reality slaps me in the face. I can't allow myself to go on like that anymore. Note that I'm not loosing a lover. He never was my lover. Just my love. I've accepted my situation a long time ago, and I think that I've already lived through the worst part of this "adventure" of mine. This is not something that happened yesterday. Now I just need to accept that I actually want to fall out of love, and focus on doing so. I'm fine during the day, my days are mostly occupied with things I love doing and people I love spending time with. Night is my enemy.

Your advice really does give me strength to at least try to let this go once and for all.

And TLS, I really do know where you're coming from with the music thing. The soundtrack of my first heartbreak was Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love". Huge mistake. Also never, EVER listen to Evanescence's "My Immortal" when grieveing. Learned the hard way.

Your dreams may seem cruel taunts to you, but they are really your subconscious mind's attempt to rectify what you want with what you know you need. When you find that peace, when the internal conflict subsides, so will the dreams.

They've been trying to rectify what I want with what I know I need for way too long now. If you know a way out Stoic, tell me. I'd love to find that peace, but I'm obviously not doing a very good job at doing so.