Partner Assessment & Past Relationships
This topic was created in the Taurus forum by TaurusBull1977 on Wednesday, April 29, 2015 and has 14 replies.
Do you assess a partner's future potential by analyzing and paying careful consideration to their past relationships?
I have reviewed many posts on this forum, and it seems as once a past relationship is discussed with a Bull, any potential for a blossoming relationship takes a nose dive.
Here are just a few examples a Bull might ask a potential partner....
1. What was the duration of your last relationship? Why did it end?
2. How many sexual partners have you had?
3. How often do you fall in love?
4. How long does it take for you to commit?
Do responses to these questions seal or break the deal?
I know that many of us have a conservative nature, but due to different placements, I understand that some responses may vary.
I have reviewed many posts on this forum, and it seems as once a past relationship is discussed with a Bull, any potential for a blossoming relationship takes a nose dive.
Here are just a few examples a Bull might ask a potential partner....
1. What was the duration of your last relationship? Why did it end?
2. How many sexual partners have you had?
3. How often do you fall in love?
4. How long does it take for you to commit?
Do responses to these questions seal or break the deal?
I know that many of us have a conservative nature, but due to different placements, I understand that some responses may vary.
@Busyeyes...
There was one guy that I ruled out many years ago, and my sister insisted I made an unfair assessment.
TB question: What was the duration of your last relationship?
Other Guy: 1.5 years
TB question: Why did it end?
Other Guy: She was laid off her job and I had to pay her rent.
TB question: How long was she unemployed?
Other Guy: 5 months.
TB question: Were there any other 'cons' or 'ex-factors' with this woman?
Other Guy: No.
For me : Total deal breaker!
It wasn't the refusal to be responsible for her financially, it was the immediate cold dismissal that was a turn off.
I believe in tough love, but I don't believe in abandonment.
I will tell you to get your sh&t together, and I'm not paying sh&t, but trust and and believe, I'm not leaving your side.
He fell in love with her quickly and out of love with her just as quickly once the finances took a nosedive.
I look for a brand of loyalty, longevity, and consistency in every potential relationship.
...Even during turbulent & difficult times.
There was one guy that I ruled out many years ago, and my sister insisted I made an unfair assessment.
TB question: What was the duration of your last relationship?
Other Guy: 1.5 years
TB question: Why did it end?
Other Guy: She was laid off her job and I had to pay her rent.
TB question: How long was she unemployed?
Other Guy: 5 months.
TB question: Were there any other 'cons' or 'ex-factors' with this woman?
Other Guy: No.
For me : Total deal breaker!
It wasn't the refusal to be responsible for her financially, it was the immediate cold dismissal that was a turn off.
I believe in tough love, but I don't believe in abandonment.
I will tell you to get your sh&t together, and I'm not paying sh&t, but trust and and believe, I'm not leaving your side.
He fell in love with her quickly and out of love with her just as quickly once the finances took a nosedive.
I look for a brand of loyalty, longevity, and consistency in every potential relationship.
...Even during turbulent & difficult times.
Background checks are key here. I've learned in dating that women often lie to me about little things, others have lied about big things. The general consensus is that everyone lies and therefore it's accepted, however as far as I'm concerned, it's not and I don't lie. You would think people would just be themselves, but I've found this sadly isn't the case. So yeah, I do background checks and while some might view this as extreme, I feel it's warranted.
Now I don't care if a woman has a Police record, I have a Juvie File myself, used to get into trouble all the time as a kid. This doesn't bother me, what I'm looking for is her propensity to lie or how violent she gets. Other red flags are key too, such as her financial records and what's a priority in her life. I'm straight edged, I don't always obey the law, as I'm anti authority to an extent, but I do live my life in a way which isn't destructive in nature.
It's important to note that if a woman tells me the truth and it matches what's in her background check it scores big points with me. However if I sense deception or if her record tells a different story, I bounce.
Now I don't care if a woman has a Police record, I have a Juvie File myself, used to get into trouble all the time as a kid. This doesn't bother me, what I'm looking for is her propensity to lie or how violent she gets. Other red flags are key too, such as her financial records and what's a priority in her life. I'm straight edged, I don't always obey the law, as I'm anti authority to an extent, but I do live my life in a way which isn't destructive in nature.
It's important to note that if a woman tells me the truth and it matches what's in her background check it scores big points with me. However if I sense deception or if her record tells a different story, I bounce.
Posted by AnomalousBull
Background checks are key here. I've learned in dating that women often lie to me about little things, others have lied about big things. The general consensus is that everyone lies and therefore it's accepted, however as far as I'm concerned, it's not and I don't lie. You would think people would just be themselves, but I've found this sadly isn't the case. So yeah, I do background checks and while some might view this as extreme, I feel it's warranted.
Now I don't care if a woman has a Police record, I have a Juvie File myself, used to get into trouble all the time as a kid. This doesn't bother me, what I'm looking for is her propensity to lie or how violent she gets. Other red flags are key too, such as her financial records and what's a priority in her life. I'm straight edged, I don't always obey the law, as I'm anti authority to an extent, but I do live my life in a way which isn't destructive in nature.
It's important to note that if a woman tells me the truth and it matches what's in her background check it scores big points with me. However if I sense deception or if her record tells a different story, I bounce.
You might not lie but you don't respond to emails. I thought you were dead or something... ***raises an eyebrow*** whatever dude...
Fair point, the dude chucked her in her time of need and support. What an arsehole. Lucky escape.
Posted by AgentP911Posted by AnomalousBull
Background checks are key here. I've learned in dating that women often lie to me about little things, others have lied about big things. The general consensus is that everyone lies and therefore it's accepted, however as far as I'm concerned, it's not and I don't lie. You would think people would just be themselves, but I've found this sadly isn't the case. So yeah, I do background checks and while some might view this as extreme, I feel it's warranted.
Now I don't care if a woman has a Police record, I have a Juvie File myself, used to get into trouble all the time as a kid. This doesn't bother me, what I'm looking for is her propensity to lie or how violent she gets. Other red flags are key too, such as her financial records and what's a priority in her life. I'm straight edged, I don't always obey the law, as I'm anti authority to an extent, but I do live my life in a way which isn't destructive in nature.
It's important to note that if a woman tells me the truth and it matches what's in her background check it scores big points with me. However if I sense deception or if her record tells a different story, I bounce.
You might not lie but you don't respond to emails. I thought you were dead or something... ***raises an eyebrow*** whatever dude...click to expand
I swear DXP must be hosted in a third world country. Stuff is either delayed or doesn't get received at all, plus the whole load issue every other day. Ugh. *Busts out Bazooka*
Posted by TaurusBull1977
@Busyeyes...
There was one guy that I ruled out many years ago, and my sister insisted I made an unfair assessment.
TB question: What was the duration of your last relationship?
Other Guy: 1.5 years
TB question: Why did it end?
Other Guy: She was laid off her job and I had to pay her rent.
TB question: How long was she unemployed?
Other Guy: 5 months.
TB question: Were there any other 'cons' or 'ex-factors' with this woman?
Other Guy: No.
For me : Total deal breaker!
It wasn't the refusal to be responsible for her financially, it was the immediate cold dismissal that was a turn off.
I believe in tough love, but I don't believe in abandonment.
I will tell you to get your sh&t together, and I'm not paying sh&t, but trust and and believe, I'm not leaving your side.
He fell in love with her quickly and out of love with her just as quickly once the finances took a nosedive.
I look for a brand of loyalty, longevity, and consistency in every potential relationship.
...Even during turbulent & difficult times.
Oh no. My ex bull (canadian) He left his wife (he said) because she was into debt.
Then he kept on pursuing me but never let him in - I can't live a man who kept jumping another woman.
Then he had a background checked on me. Yay I passed and he began to insist and jealous and acting B.S
and demanding to quit my job and be with him wherever he goes...
Eeeeh. what? Stupid bull - he left his wife because she no financial stability now here I am and don't need him
in my life. I am stubborn as hell - I won't give up my career because of his F@cking D!ck. I sensed he just
wanted me to be his dependent and powerless woman - so he could have the reason to leave me ( my assumption),
lol.
Posted by AnomalousBullPosted by AgentP911Posted by AnomalousBull
Background checks are key here. I've learned in dating that women often lie to me about little things, others have lied about big things. The general consensus is that everyone lies and therefore it's accepted, however as far as I'm concerned, it's not and I don't lie. You would think people would just be themselves, but I've found this sadly isn't the case. So yeah, I do background checks and while some might view this as extreme, I feel it's warranted.
Now I don't care if a woman has a Police record, I have a Juvie File myself, used to get into trouble all the time as a kid. This doesn't bother me, what I'm looking for is her propensity to lie or how violent she gets. Other red flags are key too, such as her financial records and what's a priority in her life. I'm straight edged, I don't always obey the law, as I'm anti authority to an extent, but I do live my life in a way which isn't destructive in nature.
It's important to note that if a woman tells me the truth and it matches what's in her background check it scores big points with me. However if I sense deception or if her record tells a different story, I bounce.
You might not lie but you don't respond to emails. I thought you were dead or something... ***raises an eyebrow*** whatever dude...
I swear DXP must be hosted in a third world country. Stuff is either delayed or doesn't get received at all, plus the whole load issue every other day. Ugh. *Busts out Bazooka*click to expand
Yawn...
Posted by AnomalousBull
It's important to note that if a woman tells me the truth and it matches what's in her background check it scores big points with me. However if I sense deception or if her record tells a different story, I bounce.
+100
I will accept a real nobody over a fake somebody any day!
It's the 'authentic' possibility that gets a slow bull moving...
It paints a more accurate picture in making life-long decisions without all the smokescreen.
Posted by busyeyes88
Even when I was out clubbing at 21 I would have a list of questions that went like :
1. Do you have children?
2. If yes, how many?
3...
4...
LOL. I'm a Taurus, and while I am one to ask questions, I tend to try to stick to two at most in a day since if somebody asks me more than two I get my back up so I can't be a hypocrite.
When I was much younger, though, like still in jr high, I remember creating a "quiz" for a boyfriend I was seeing and within the first week, just like a test in school with some questions needing a written response or to check "yes" or "no on others. LMFAO I was NUTS (still am just different). That was my first real boyfriend, too, and I have to give him credit. He answered them all and handed it back to me at lunchtime and still went out with me for 9 months.
Thanks for this thread, it's making me smile.
No, not really. Sure I allow ample getting to know you time. But I don??t really dismiss someone because I got an answer I didn??t like. I guess I try to take that person in as a whole, and understand their passed in the context of everything they are.
For example the unemployment issue.. I can??t really judge him based on that sentence. I have no idea what that relationship was like, but I??m smart enough to know that probably wasn??t the only factor, just the only one he was comfortable to share. And there are other factors like how has this person??s history define this person. It was obviously important enough to be a deal breaker for him. So my question I would pose to this situation is why is this a strong insecurity for him? Did he grow up poor, worrying about how his needs would be met? What issues did his mother have? Was she irresponsible, depressed or manipulative? All these things can form your priorities as an adult.
And I also don??t think a relationship a guy has with me will be the same as what he??s had with someone else. I think if that happens I have fucking failed.
It sounds like you??re doing the same thing, you are dismissing him because he dismissed someone else. I get it you think its different cus there was love, commitment and he left. But, what you??re doing sounds like fear and control.
But no, I make my decisions based on my experience, not someone elses.
For example the unemployment issue.. I can??t really judge him based on that sentence. I have no idea what that relationship was like, but I??m smart enough to know that probably wasn??t the only factor, just the only one he was comfortable to share. And there are other factors like how has this person??s history define this person. It was obviously important enough to be a deal breaker for him. So my question I would pose to this situation is why is this a strong insecurity for him? Did he grow up poor, worrying about how his needs would be met? What issues did his mother have? Was she irresponsible, depressed or manipulative? All these things can form your priorities as an adult.
And I also don??t think a relationship a guy has with me will be the same as what he??s had with someone else. I think if that happens I have fucking failed.
It sounds like you??re doing the same thing, you are dismissing him because he dismissed someone else. I get it you think its different cus there was love, commitment and he left. But, what you??re doing sounds like fear and control.
But no, I make my decisions based on my experience, not someone elses.
@Astrobyn-
I wouldn't say it was fear and control. To me, perfection isn't accompanied with a well defined checklist, but a sense of authenticity, stability, a strong sense of identity and 'compromising' flaws. I'm a Taurus, financial security is very important, but not to the extent where my sense of compassion and loyalty for the people I love is dismissed. When I say i love you, these words do not come with stipulations, it's not contingent for as long the relationship is running smooth. It's not real life. Life is hard, and so are relationships. I'm no quitter. My decision wasn't based on fear, but disgust and a lack of respect,, stemming from what I perceived as a sign of weakness.
Abandonment doesn't pose a fear, or a threat. I'm a strong Bull, I just don't make long term investments with whiners.
I don't whine or complain about my responsibilities. Although I wouldn't expect my partner to, I would still tell him to toughen up, but I wouldn't abandon him.
On paper, he appeared like the perfect candidate, but I saw past the smokescreen.
He didn't grow up poor, funny thing thing though, I did. I know what it's like to build something from nothing, to hustle, grind, and work hard.
I grew up within the 5 boroughs of NYC, he didn't.
He also has a great relationship with his mother.
I wouldn't say it was fear and control. To me, perfection isn't accompanied with a well defined checklist, but a sense of authenticity, stability, a strong sense of identity and 'compromising' flaws. I'm a Taurus, financial security is very important, but not to the extent where my sense of compassion and loyalty for the people I love is dismissed. When I say i love you, these words do not come with stipulations, it's not contingent for as long the relationship is running smooth. It's not real life. Life is hard, and so are relationships. I'm no quitter. My decision wasn't based on fear, but disgust and a lack of respect,, stemming from what I perceived as a sign of weakness.
Abandonment doesn't pose a fear, or a threat. I'm a strong Bull, I just don't make long term investments with whiners.
I don't whine or complain about my responsibilities. Although I wouldn't expect my partner to, I would still tell him to toughen up, but I wouldn't abandon him.
On paper, he appeared like the perfect candidate, but I saw past the smokescreen.
He didn't grow up poor, funny thing thing though, I did. I know what it's like to build something from nothing, to hustle, grind, and work hard.
I grew up within the 5 boroughs of NYC, he didn't.
He also has a great relationship with his mother.
@ TaurusBull1977
Hearing the answer to some questions will change the way a person will feel towards a loved one.
@ busyeyes88 you're right, some questions will need to be asked from the beginning to avoid wasting time.
Hearing the answer to some questions will change the way a person will feel towards a loved one.
@ busyeyes88 you're right, some questions will need to be asked from the beginning to avoid wasting time.
Just last week i got asked 8 questions by the Taurus guy im getting to know and they were very personal questions on the 'how would you feel if..' and 'would you do so and so.. '
I answered his questions and out of all of them 2 questions were hmmm to him. Does that mean that its the end of it or something??
I answered his questions and out of all of them 2 questions were hmmm to him. Does that mean that its the end of it or something??
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