is looking at porn/naked photos cheating?

This topic was created in the The Powder Room forum by jeane on Sunday, November 15, 2020 and has 41 replies.
obviously this is while in a relationship.

if your partner looks at porn or masturbates to images of women that are not you, do you consider that cheating?

and

what would your reaction be?
ah, i didn't realise how close this topic was related to "spank bank"...
Firstly its not cheating. Any woman who thinks it is obviously has daddy/ abandonment issues.

I'm the least likely to go off and fuck some random women in the real world. Guaranteed not to in a relationship. At the same time I like to let pent up sexual energy out with no strings attached at times. Aka masterbation. Its faster, easier, and I don't have to feel like I'm doing my best sexually to prove a point or something. Which is what women who hate men who watch porn seem to expect from every man they date. Get real and stop being so insecure. You should be happy your man can let out his personal sexual urges through porn rather then going out and physical fucking everything in sight. I know you feel you should be the center of all his attention at all times, but he has to prove to you he is physically, mentally, and sexually about you 100% at all times. If not you will think he isn't attracted to you anymore or defected. Truth is most men just want a quick release with no real requirement involved. Thats if he is loyal. If he isn't loyal he will be out in the world fucking random women, so you should be thankful you at least have a man who rather stay at home and watch porn.

If most of you women quit making your man feel like they were expected to be amazing at sex every time you want it to be perfect, they probably wouldn't want to quickly let one out via porn so much.
not a problem, in fact I'd be relieved to discover that my partner has fetishes. It's healthy.

I wouldn't want to know too much about it though

[EDIT]Oh sorry, I didn't notice this is in the powder room
I've sat next to them and looked at what they were watching. I've shown them stuff I enjoy. I like that 🤷🏻‍♀️🙃

Some people don't like that. Some people do. It's something that you need to communicate and have a convo about.

I don't think it's cheating if you're both aware and it isn't some person DM'ing them personal stuff.. that is a different convo.
No.

Is this thread serious?
No, women can do the same. Women who masturbate if they're not watching porn they're defo imagining a picture or listening to sultry audios or reading some sexy ass books.
No. I'm not a prude cvnt
I found it amusing and adorable that my ex fiancé had girls gone wild dvds and nothing worse than that lol. Especially after my first love was a porn addict who downloaded thousands of images to MY computer—mfker had them categorized into folders there were so many!!! So as long as a dude isn’t going overboard, who the fuck cares. I’d rather be his porn but I know that I can’t always be around when he wants to get loose. I can be.... just sayin’.... for the right guy, I am one phone call away lol and if we are in love, you probably have a photo/video or two of me you can always fall back on lol
No, it is not.
Posted by AbbyNormal

I found it amusing and adorable that my ex fiancé had girls gone wild dvds and nothing worse than that lol. Especially after my first love was a porn addict who downloaded thousands of images to MY computer—mfker had them categorized into folders there were so many!!! So as long as a dude isn’t going overboard, who the fuck cares. I’d rather be his porn but I know that I can’t always be around when he wants to get loose. I can be.... just sayin’.... for the right guy, I am one phone call away lol and if we are in love, you probably have a photo/video or two of me you can always fall back on lol


You think they're different, then you are wrong. They're both addicted to porn the same way.

BTW girls gone wild seems worse to me because it's very young girls exploited for money by this pornographer, probably drugged, degrading themselves at such a young age for the world to see. They were barely consenting. It's the worst example of porn I've seen.

OTOH the dude who categorized it in folders showed a real aesthetic appreciation for the art, in addition to trying to control his inner chaos through higher functioning skills. This is comendable, except for the fact that he shouldn't have saved porn pics on someone else's computer.
Posted by jeane

obviously this is while in a relationship.

if your partner looks at porn or masturbates to images of women that are not you, do you consider that cheating?


No.

Posted by jeane

what would your reaction be?
click to expand

Same as it is to most things about people: curious.
Posted by HoneyLemon

If you are hiding it from your partner because it would upset them then, yes, it’s a form of cheating.

Oddly, I would be more curious about that than the images themselves (not including child pornography or zoophilia). I don't agree that it's cheating, but I would want to know why the person feels the need to hide it.
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?
this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.
No. That's ridiculous.

Hm.. if he asks for nude photos of you, Is it porn then and cheating. I kid. But If he's too busy devoting more time to porn than you then there's a problem. Some guys just have a habit of watching it.
Men differ from women on that part. Women see it as cheating, men love to fantasize about the women, the chase ect without actually going for them. Yes, it keeps their appetite high. Looking doesnt mean cheating. If it makes you uncomfortable, you may want to ask yourself why.
Any woman who doesn't like her man looking at porn is insecure and a prude.

I'd like it more if he was looking at pictures of me when he masturbates if he doesn't have access to me at the time but its not something I think about a lot nor care that much about... I'd just be more curious as to what he is watching and if its something we could role play about or something.

if it's just porn , it's okay. If he's communicating with women who send him nudes, then it's a form of cheating, even if they don't actually do it
Unless its of people I know personally aka family friends, then I'm not trippin.
Posted by hydorah
Posted by AbbyNormal

I found it amusing and adorable that my ex fiancé had girls gone wild dvds and nothing worse than that lol. Especially after my first love was a porn addict who downloaded thousands of images to MY computer—mfker had them categorized into folders there were so many!!! So as long as a dude isn’t going overboard, who the fuck cares. I’d rather be his porn but I know that I can’t always be around when he wants to get loose. I can be.... just sayin’.... for the right guy, I am one phone call away lol and if we are in love, you probably have a photo/video or two of me you can always fall back on lol


You think they're different, then you are wrong. They're both addicted to porn the same way.

BTW girls gone wild seems worse to me because it's very young girls exploited for money by this pornographer, probably drugged, degrading themselves at such a young age for the world to see. They were barely consenting. It's the worst example of porn I've seen.

OTOH the dude who categorized it in folders showed a real aesthetic appreciation for the art, in addition to trying to control his inner chaos through higher functioning skills. This is comendable, except for the fact that he shouldn't have saved porn pics on someone else's computer.
click to expand


I disagree completely. First of all, my ex fiancé and I got engaged in his early 20s and I found these at his parents house while helping him clean. Buried away, old dvds of women around his age since these girls are found drunk at bars and concerts from what I recall. I’m not saying they aren’t exploitative, I’m just saying they are rather harmless in content in comparison. He wasn’t a grown adult watching these. When we moved in together, they didn’t come with lol. He had me and work to occupy nearly all of his time, and we were very active so nothing needed. No harm there in my POV.

My first love was and is a sex addict. That’s a problem for me. Someone who that is all they think about, that rubbed themselves raw sometimes. That disgusts me. No self control. It’s not like he wasn’t getting sex either. And the sheer amount of pictures I found on my computer was appalling. No art there, sheer bulk quantity. I see nothing beautiful, impressive, etc about it. This is someone who still asks me to see my body parts as a married man, at least once every time we chat. To me, he is worse because he was/is constantly objectifying me and other women. My ex fiancé was/is harmless so it comes down to the person and intention.
Posted by AbbyNormal
Posted by hydorah
Posted by AbbyNormal

I found it amusing and adorable that my ex fiancé had girls gone wild dvds and nothing worse than that lol. Especially after my first love was a porn addict who downloaded thousands of images to MY computer—mfker had them categorized into folders there were so many!!! So as long as a dude isn’t going overboard, who the fuck cares. I’d rather be his porn but I know that I can’t always be around when he wants to get loose. I can be.... just sayin’.... for the right guy, I am one phone call away lol and if we are in love, you probably have a photo/video or two of me you can always fall back on lol


You think they're different, then you are wrong. They're both addicted to porn the same way.

BTW girls gone wild seems worse to me because it's very young girls exploited for money by this pornographer, probably drugged, degrading themselves at such a young age for the world to see. They were barely consenting. It's the worst example of porn I've seen.

OTOH the dude who categorized it in folders showed a real aesthetic appreciation for the art, in addition to trying to control his inner chaos through higher functioning skills. This is comendable, except for the fact that he shouldn't have saved porn pics on someone else's computer.


I disagree completely. First of all, my ex fiancé and I got engaged in his early 20s and I found these at his parents house while helping him clean. Buried away, old dvds of women around his age since these girls are found drunk at bars and concerts from what I recall. I’m not saying they aren’t exploitative, I’m just saying they are rather harmless in content in comparison. He wasn’t a grown adult watching these. When we moved in together, they didn’t come with lol. He had me and work to occupy nearly all of his time, and we were very active so nothing needed. No harm there in my POV.

My first love was and is a sex addict. That’s a problem for me. Someone who that is all they think about, that rubbed themselves raw sometimes. That disgusts me. No self control. It’s not like he wasn’t getting sex either. And the sheer amount of pictures I found on my computer was appalling. No art there, sheer bulk quantity. I see nothing beautiful, impressive, etc about it. This is someone who still asks me to see my body parts as a married man, at least once every time we chat. To me, he is worse because he was/is constantly objectifying me and other women. My ex fiancé was/is harmless so it comes down to the person and intention.
click to expand


I prefer the second guy, even if it's obvious he's an addict. There's something glorious about engaging your demons frontally
Posted by hydorah
Posted by AbbyNormal
Posted by hydorah
Posted by AbbyNormal

I found it amusing and adorable that my ex fiancé had girls gone wild dvds and nothing worse than that lol. Especially after my first love was a porn addict who downloaded thousands of images to MY computer—mfker had them categorized into folders there were so many!!! So as long as a dude isn’t going overboard, who the fuck cares. I’d rather be his porn but I know that I can’t always be around when he wants to get loose. I can be.... just sayin’.... for the right guy, I am one phone call away lol and if we are in love, you probably have a photo/video or two of me you can always fall back on lol


You think they're different, then you are wrong. They're both addicted to porn the same way.

BTW girls gone wild seems worse to me because it's very young girls exploited for money by this pornographer, probably drugged, degrading themselves at such a young age for the world to see. They were barely consenting. It's the worst example of porn I've seen.

OTOH the dude who categorized it in folders showed a real aesthetic appreciation for the art, in addition to trying to control his inner chaos through higher functioning skills. This is comendable, except for the fact that he shouldn't have saved porn pics on someone else's computer.


I disagree completely. First of all, my ex fiancé and I got engaged in his early 20s and I found these at his parents house while helping him clean. Buried away, old dvds of women around his age since these girls are found drunk at bars and concerts from what I recall. I’m not saying they aren’t exploitative, I’m just saying they are rather harmless in content in comparison. He wasn’t a grown adult watching these. When we moved in together, they didn’t come with lol. He had me and work to occupy nearly all of his time, and we were very active so nothing needed. No harm there in my POV.

My first love was and is a sex addict. That’s a problem for me. Someone who that is all they think about, that rubbed themselves raw sometimes. That disgusts me. No self control. It’s not like he wasn’t getting sex either. And the sheer amount of pictures I found on my computer was appalling. No art there, sheer bulk quantity. I see nothing beautiful, impressive, etc about it. This is someone who still asks me to see my body parts as a married man, at least once every time we chat. To me, he is worse because he was/is constantly objectifying me and other women. My ex fiancé was/is harmless so it comes down to the person and intention.


I prefer the second guy, even if it's obvious he's an addict. There's something glorious about engaging your demons frontally
click to expand


Difference between us then. My ex fiancé used pics and vids of me if we weren’t actually doing it. That I prefer. I’d rather someone less focused on sex and more on the real world, probably why I’m on my celibacy journey rn. I think there’s much more important things to life than what kinds of porn I can find. It’s a difference in personality. My first love still fantasizes about leaving his wife for me too, but the thought of ever having to have sex with him again is repulsive. I know them both intimately and I know myself, so the choice is clear for me.
One of my friends and I went to his grandpa's place to move his couch from one corner to the other. His grandfather had a girlfriend back then, so she was there too, watching. As we moved the couch, maybe 10-15 old VHS porn videotapes appeared on the floor. His grandpa smiled a little because he had forgotten to remove them. I couldn't hold myself any longer, looked away and started laughing as quietly as I could, just like my friend did while the girlfriend looked visibly mad and left the room. You see that would never have been so funny now since men hide their stuff in their computers. The good old VHS tapes, nothing can replace those memories.
Posted by LadyNeptune

Unless its of people I know personally aka family friends, then I'm not trippin.
Edit:

I should add, if he's only exclusively watching one type of porn where the woman does not look like me at all, ie little people porn, bbw, japanese ladies etc, I'm gonna start wondering if he needs to go be with someone else cause I'm not compatible with his fantasies.
No.

Now you have porn more easily accessible than ever through digital platforms. Back then they had magazines, VHS, DVDs.. and then before that you just had the real stuff like brothels, hookers and prostitutes which are still a thing now. I don't think on average male sex drives can really compare to female sex drives no matter how much some women want to toot their own horns. It is what it is. It should not be taken personal. Also just because a man doesn't enjoy pornagraphy doesn't imply he has some greater moral compass comparatively. Cause he could be the type going out and preferring the real thing but hides it well (plenty of men like this in my parents' generation). "A man is only as faithful as his options." 🤷‍♀️
Posted by Dread_Pirate_Phanta
Posted by SassyKiwi

No.

Now you have porn more easily accessible than ever through digital platforms. Back then they had magazines, VHS, DVDs.. and then before that you just had the real stuff like brothels, hookers and prostitutes which are still a thing now. I don't think on average male sex drives can really compare to female sex drives no matter how much some women want to toot their own horns. It is what it is. It should not be taken personal. Also just because a man doesn't enjoy pornagraphy doesn't imply he has some greater moral compass comparatively. Cause he could be the type going out and preferring the real thing but hides it well (plenty of men like this in my parents' generation). "A man is only as faithful as his options." 🤷‍♀️


False.

What is true is that men who are like that will insist that all men are like that.
click to expand


I just don't think whether someone watches porn or not is enough to judge a man of whether he would physically end up cheating.
Posted by Hypnotoad

What if he's got an only fans account?


You can virtually interact with the women and send them stuff which require money so ya digital prostitution duh
Looking is not cheating

Acting is cheating
Posted by jeane
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?


this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.
click to expand


😂😂😂 Jihoon & Deavan
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?


this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.


😂😂😂 Jihoon & Deavan
click to expand
🤣🤣🤣 bingo
Posted by jeane
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?


this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.


😂😂😂 Jihoon & Deavan


🤣🤣🤣 bingo
click to expand
Love a bit of 90 Day! I'm all up to date with it, even the Facebook watch stuff 😁 dedicated!
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?


this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.


😂😂😂 Jihoon & Deavan


🤣🤣🤣 bingo


Love a bit of 90 Day! I'm all up to date with it, even the Facebook watch stuff 😁 dedicated!
click to expand

I'm slightly addicted now. Its a fucking rabbit hole all those series. I haven't been on Facebook but have you been on reddit??
Posted by jeane
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?


this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.


😂😂😂 Jihoon & Deavan


🤣🤣🤣 bingo


Love a bit of 90 Day! I'm all up to date with it, even the Facebook watch stuff 😁 dedicated!

I'm slightly addicted now. Its a fucking rabbit hole all those series. I haven't been on Facebook but have you been on reddit??
click to expand
The Annie & David cooking show on Facebook Watch is really good to watch. I like those two plus it's food based so even better! I've recorded the latest What Now? series that was on at the weekend so that's my next weekend viewing with six hours!

Not been on Reddit. What's on there? There's some hilarious groups on FB that slate the show (in a good way).
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by AgentP911
Posted by jeane
Posted by _Dazed

No.

Is this thread serious?


this is not a troll thread.

i was watching 90 day fiance and one of the couples came up against this issue. he was masturbating to pictures of naked women on his phone. she said that was cheating and made him delete all the photos.

i also come across this when listening to a podcast one day. he had a fantasy she wasn't interested in. he watched porn of that fetish. she found out. was furious and told him he can never watch porn again.

dr phil considers watching porn to be cheating. it is a frequent point of debate for some couples.

i was keen to learn what the women of dxp thought.


😂😂😂 Jihoon & Deavan


🤣🤣🤣 bingo


Love a bit of 90 Day! I'm all up to date with it, even the Facebook watch stuff 😁 dedicated!

I'm slightly addicted now. Its a fucking rabbit hole all those series. I haven't been on Facebook but have you been on reddit??


The Annie & David cooking show on Facebook Watch is really good to watch. I like those two plus it's food based so even better! I've recorded the latest What Now? series that was on at the weekend so that's my next weekend viewing with six hours!

Not been on Reddit. What's on there? There's some hilarious groups on FB that slate the show (in a good way).
click to expand


you must https://www.reddit.com/r/90dayfianceuncensored/

User Submitted Image

what are the good fb groups?
Some folks watch.

Others make their own personal porn.
Posted by HoneyLemon

That’s why I think it’s best to determine between couples. Some say yes, and others say no.

The only reason why I think it’s a ‘form’ of cheating is because when one person in the relationship is against the porn-watching and the other does it + hides, it is acting dishonestly and unfairly towards the other person, which is one of the definitions of cheating.

Looking at my own relationships, in the past it went either way for me, it really depended on the person and what we had agreed upon. I am currently in a relationship where my partner doesn’t want that and I respect that. But the last 3 relationships, we had watched it together, and two relationships ago that partner had somewhat of an addiction and it affected our relationship towards the end.

Fair enough and I can see what you mean based on how you've explained "cheating". I would agree it is dishonest...."unfair" okay I can also see that and can call those two things out for what it is, however "cheating" I still don't know if I agree, but I don't need to agree to respect your point of view. For me, unless there is an emotional connection, I don't see how "cheating" fits. I am also curious about the "why". I can't fully judge my partner's actions without knowing why he feels the need to hide it. Does he have a bond with this woman and this isn't just a picture he grabbed from the internet? That is very different. Are there specific acts that are happening in the porn he watches that he believes I would find offensive if he shared he would like us to try? The why matters.

As for the rest (not directed at you specifically, just the theme that came from your response), I have difficulty with someone imposing their expectations on another or expecting their partner to suppress a healthy (stress on healthy) desire as long as its not oppressive. I think that is what leads someone to feel they need to hide that part of themselves. Sex is very personal. Often judged, dismissed and shunned. People rarely try to understand.
Posted by AbbyNormal

... I’d rather be his porn but I know that I can’t always be around when he wants to get loose. I can be.... just sayin’.... for the right guy, I am one phone call away lol and if we are in love, you probably have a photo/video or two of me you can always fall back on lol

*like*
Looking at porn isn’t cheating IMO, but if it bothers your partner and makes them feel bad, I think that’s something you have to work out and find a compromise

Looking at naked women you know or communicate with on the other hand...yes I think it’s cheating
my ex was addicted to jerking off to big titty porn but not interested in having sex with me - I walked in on him several times and asked him to seek help with me - after many years and no change it was part of many problems and I divorced him - as they always do, he came back after to tell me he saw a therapist and was no longer doing that - whatever dude - I no longer had interest in him and still don't even though we're friends and can hang, any romance is long gone

Posted by PhoenixStorm
Posted by virghost

No, women can do the same. Women who masturbate if they're not watching porn they're defo imagining a picture or listening to sultry audios or reading some sexy ass books.


This isn’t true. Sometimes I do it just to cum and sleep better or relieve stress. I can come to full orgasm without thinking of a man at all, all I have to do is focus on how good it feels and then BAM. 💦🤣🤷‍♀️
click to expand
So you think about nothing at all? Just blank?