ANOTHER VIRGO-SCORPIO DILEMMA (Page 2)

I am sure he will...LOL..P-whipped..lol..he's just in lurve..leave the poor guy alone

Gosh missmoral, now it is my fault? lol I guess we Scorpios always get blamed at the end that it was our own doing! lol

Hey, I hope you are right, that the man is just confused but in "lurve" as you have so indicated! 😉

Ok, now I smell better . . all showered . .

Listen, I know this is confusing and it will sound like a contridiction and it is, lol But, with Virgo's you have to be reserved and forceful at the same time. I know, it doesn't make sense . . but, that is just the way it is.

Take Dyr, for example . . his woman had to lasso him, she had to MAKE him want her, yet, at the same time, she had to remain a lady and demure . . how in the hell you do that . . I've no clue . . with mine . . I just took him . . very forcefully.

Walked up to him and said, "You're mine, back your shit, you're moving in with me." He did, that was in June . . in September of same year, I told him, "We're getting married today, call out sick at work." He did, and we went down to the courthouse and got married. While all this was going on, for these several months . . I had to be very cautious about my manners, very polite and a decent lady (opposite of how I am now, crude, rude and socially unacceptable) . . but, the point is . . YOU have to take him, cause he'll wait a lifetime for you to do it . . he won't.

So, the next time he calls, TELL him nicely, what you want out of the relationship. He might cower and have to think about it . . but, because they don't want command . . they actually admire a woman who IS IN CHARGE.

That's what I did . . he's still here. I just told him . . this is what we're doing, lol. He obeyed, like the good p-whipped man he is, lol

Anyway, Dyr should be on soon . . he'll tell you what you want to hear.

Angelina, I do not want to be told what I want to hear, I just wants opinions, at the end I make up my own mind, I am a Scorpio! The nicer ones though, because I am an October Scorpio, but a Scorpio nevertheless! lol

I am a very strong woman (imagine a litigation attorney, yep that is me) but at the same time I am very feminine and very womanly! I transpire sensuality and sexuality! lol

I like your strategy but the least in my mind at this time is living with a man, I have been on my own for 10 years now and I love my freedom and independence. What I want, as I always say, each person in their own home, and God in everybody's home! 😉 But I do want this man committed to me, and knowing me, I will get him unless I get bored! Oh my, am I a B*** or what? lol Naaaaaaaa, I am a total sweetheart, so my Virgo man says! lol

Only time and patience will tell...

I will keep you posted! But please keep sharing your thoughts, (everybody please) you all! 🙂

PS I am glad Angelina you are all freshed up! 😉

"why in the world would you want to get involved with a Virgo Male?? Are you a masochist?"

lol, some people like to be punished . . really, if I had to do over again, I probably would . . daaammmmmiiiiitttttttt

Some people never learn.

Escorpiona -- ha! what do you mean the 'nice ones' born in October! HA! I am really nice and wonderful too but I am November -- we rule! Also, i was a litigation attorney as well.... now i review contracts.... but we sound very similar....

well, i am crying but also feel a sense of relief ( i think !).... i sent Virgo guy another very nice email - funny, light, but also said TELL ME if you really don't want me to contact you anymore.... and HE RESPONDED!!! he basically said i am officially telling you please refrain from contacting me..... it hurts but becuz we had the blow up a month ago and it really really ended 6 months ago... it doesn't hurt as bad... but it still hurts...... even tho i know its for the best....

"and HE RESPONDED!!! he basically said i am officially telling you please refrain from contacting me..... it hurts"

That sucks, linda, I'm sorry you're hurting, luv. Chin up . . you're gonna be ok without him . . we're here for you.

Thanks P, i really need someone to tell me that i am better off... i KNOW I AM... i mean i know he had Real Feelings for Me as I did for him... but i also know that he told me.... i can't leave her.... the 'relationship' was completely different after it 'offically' ended 6 months ago... lately - since like end of august it was just put up with him only seeing me on his schedule (rarely) and only contacting me or responding once in a blue moon.... so he was already telling me and had told me before 'i can't do a relationship' so i know it's not his fault... he is actually the strong one.... it's just that i miss talking to him and will miss seeing him - even on occasion..... i hate hurting... i hate crying over him.... but i am...

Awwww, sweetie . . it's ok . . don't cry . . you're gonna be alright, it gets better, I promise . . we really should meet up somewhere, just us girls. I know it seems unbearable now . . but, you really are better without him 'cause you know . . if it was meant to be . . it would be.

It's so damn hard . . I'm giving you a big hug right now in my heart.

🙂

thank you.... your message made me start crying again tho.... but thank you....

yeah, it would really be nice/fun to meet up with a group of us from here.... don't know how or where since roxi is in spain, you are in appalachians? and i am on west coast... but who knows?....

and yes, i agree with you, if it is meant to be it will happen.....

i know you may not think so becuz of what i have done.... but i am a good person, despite the affair....

i just wish he would have said more like he did in the past.... like linda if i can't be man enough to leave her and linda all the rest were one night stands... it would have made me feel better.... but i guess he already said all that in the past.....

oh God, i know i will be alright, it just hurts so much to lose someone you really liked/connected with....

i guess i need to work on my relationship with H.... make that be good again... he does deserve it, he is a good man....

Thank you Roxi, Dyrst, Linda, Angelina for your additional responses and your welcome.

Yes, my Virgo man is rather mature and he does not mind talking about anything, once I initiate the conversation and thanks me for bringing topics that are not easy for him to talk about, specially the issue of 'exclusivity" once he was out of the loop and I contacted him.

He did tell me that very few women in his life have met his parents. He was more insecure and worried, as to how the whole thing was going to turn out, than I was. All went very well, but he made sure he introduced me to his family one by one as "this is my friend, R___" which I found it rather funny, but I was ok with it. This was in new yr's eve, a very special occasion at his family's home.

This evening I spoke with my oldest daughter that she happens to be a Virgo (who is 29+ yrs old) and a licensed therapist, with a masters in psychology, who laughed as I was relating the story as to what has gone on with my Virgo man. She said, "mom, that is so much like me, we over analyze everything, and go back and forth so don't worry you already have him your pocket" so I will just be patient.

Linda I am a family/matrimonial law attorney, so my practice is rather intense and emotional and I have been at it over 18 yrs so I know about relationships a whole bunch, and of course about burn out stages of lawyers, so it sounds that maybe that is why you do contract work nowadays. Anyway, I am so sorry about your man, but as you know, as a Scorpio, that even though hard to face, it is the best it could have happened to you, at least now you have closure.

Dyrst, I hope my Virgo man is as mature as you, as well as fast. But not to move in with me because I do not think I am ready for that any time soon! But I do want him eating out of my hand! lol

I sent him a text message at 6:45 pm this evening only saying a quick hello and hope he had a good rest of the day. Of course I do not expect to hear from him anytime soon. But question here, how much do I pursue him without stepping on his boundaries, nor scaring him off some more. How do I make him honor his feelings?

I must say, I do like a good challenge! 😉

Did we scare you away from the topic on the Scorpio board? lol

187 started it.

notso, take your time! lol

I love to write, and since I am dealing with a Virgo man, who is as slow as the rest, by the time you, notso, gets done reading all the posts of this thread, I do not know if my Virgo man and I would have made much progress! lol

Hope you enjoy my story! lol

PS Angelina, who or what is 187?

Wow, speed reader, you are.

187 is a person on the Scorpio board who started a thread about anal sex.

notso I may be the one on Ritalin, lol, because no comprendo the intent of your replies to my postings. Are you sure you read them well? lol

By the way, I do not want confusion in my contact with my Virgo man, but clarity instead.

Hey Angelina, thanks for the info.

It's getting nasty over there . . you know those Scorpio's, lol

Oh well, I guess I better go to bed . . I hope you got some insight, Escorpiona.

I'm sure in the morning, someone will post some more here.

Talk to you later, and again . . welcome to our world . . as crazy as it is most of the time. lol

I just got a reply text message from him saying "Thank you, luv your besucona*... gnite"

Sooooooo what do I make out of what is going on? I am absolutely lost... This man is so hard to read! S.O.S. lol

Hey Angelina, pleasant dreams! 🙂

*besucona is a word, I taught him, that in Spanish it means a woman that does/likes to kiss a lot.

notso....haha, you're lookin' a little rough.

Well notso, a friend just recommended that I do not initiate any more contact with him, but let him make all the efforts, and next time he asks me out just tell him I am busy and going out with a male friend... However, I do not know if I can do that. I do not like games nor lies...

In reply to your post, I am not going to wait forever for this Virgo man. I will see how things progress and if they do so relatively well, at a decent pace, I will stick to it and get to know him better, but if not, like I said above in one of my previous post... NEXXXT! 😉

If he then returns, it may be too late!

"escritadas?"

no! no. pero lo siento, no soy profesora. 😉

I'd like two large Sprites, please...

en especial no por dxp. 😛

Se dice "puedo leerlo bien" and not "puedo leerlo bueno" and yes, you can practicarlo conmigo todo lo que quieras. I am multilingual and I love it! 😉

By the way "escritadas" is not a word... If you mean "escritas", like "palabras escritas" (written words) then we are talking!

homies, how good is your Spanish? Not that great, right? lol

"homies, how good is your Spanish? Not that great, right? lol"

mm no se. lo he perdido un poco, y creo que de verdad necesito practicarlo mas. pero no aqui, eso es cierto. jaja

y de seguro no voy a ensenarlo...no no, eso he tratado, fue miserable 😛

no, eso no es posible. por que yama es hijo de puta, y como yo so muy buena persona, lo que dices simplemente es imposible.

por que = porque

necesito las tildes 😢

Well people lets start a thread in Spanish and I will help both of you with your language skills, and as well, I will help homies to be un poco mas educado/a! I do not appreciate homies saying such derogatory words, it serves no purpose!

I would like to keep this thread on the issues at hand. Les parece chicos/as? 🙂 How about it?

Gracias...

me parece buena idea 😉

pero...profesora...las palabras son verdaderas...jejeje

Guys thank you for your great attitude, it is a good start. Y estoy a la orden para cualquier clase de espa?ol! 😉

Escorpiona - Go with your gut feelings regarding this advise from your friend. Your Virgo has been up-front with you and that response is like playing games. The virgo I know would see right through the game and would back off even further immediately. You sound like you have been straight with the guy so far - just keep up the honesty - it will be appreciated.

Scorpgal

Escorpiona: Firstly I love the username..LOL..its great..

Secondly..Dys great, I think he gives a really good insight into the whole Virgo/Scorpio relationship saga...

I personally love virgos..think they are great..the ones I have come across anyway..Met a bitter one but I feel you can usually tell the signs if he is bitter..in this case you guys are real open and honest with each other..personally I would give him some breathing space..leave him alone and as Notso said..he will be back..

MissM, I like my id too, sounds mean, doesn't? lol

After a good nite sleep, I have decided to give my Virgo man all the space in the world, not playing hard to get, just I want him to miss me! Well, I hope so! I know most Virgos are good people, but we Scorpios, specially the females, are so intense, but that is what makes me, me! Unique! 😉

Virgogotme I wish I could take some of the 000000 out of the 100000000000% but I know there is no way, so I will try my best to be patient! And thank you for the welcome!

Roxi en que parte de la peninsula vives?

Dyrst, I have a question for you, when you have the time to answer me...

Besides having patience with my Virgo man, how do I make him more forward, towards me?

I am planning not to pursue him. He sent me a gnite text last nite, in reply to one I sent him earlier. Since then, I have not texted him, nor IM, nor e-mailed, nor called him, nor do I plan to do it. I am going to have to bite my nails, not to contact him!

I want him to make all the moves, even next time he asks me out on a date, I want to tell him that I am busy. I wonder if it would be a good idea to tell him I have a date with someone else, or just tell him I am busy period! He is invited to a party on the 20th and I know he wants to come with me, he will meet my youngest kid and some other friends of mine, but that is not until 8 days from now, but knowing him he may not see me until then. I just don't know... Oh yes, and I will sure I will use the word FRIEND to introduce him! lol

I do not want these to be seem like games, but like strategies to have him be more interested in me, and since you are a mature Virgo man, I wanted to pick on your brain as to what you think of what I should do.

Please, not just Dyrst, but anyone, that has an opinion, let me know what u'all think...

Patience (when it comes to matters of the heart) is not my middle name! 😉

Roxi como todo en la vida, se toma practica y mucha practica. The more you practice the better you get at it, don't they say that about sex too? lol

PS I have been to Malaga and other places in the Mediterranean coast. Absolutely beautiful...

Virgo got me -- thank you for your words of advice.... i am old school too -- i am a decent person.... i think the reason i had relationship with Virgo was becuz i was emotionally disconnected from my H.... about 3 years ago he started new position - trying to become head of company... he spent the past 3 years almost completely focused on his career - traveling, working, talking - career....

i felt alone and unloved and unhappy.... went out met someone.... started talking on email saw a few times (it was long distance) but talked EVERYDAY for over 6 months.... yes, it was real, the feelings were mutual, but yes, in the end he did the right thing the Virgo thing -- felt guilty, was not going to leave, so had to end it.... me continuing to 'talk' to him or contact him made it difficult for him to move on, so he had to tell me don't contact me further.

yeah roxi, part of me is hurt, feel's stupid that i left myself so open to him to come back and stab me with that... but yet, i am very open, honest and i hate lies, games, phoniness.... so i had to do it... i want the real answer/real situation revealed, don't beat around the bush i told him.... so he didn't...

even tho it's dumb, that made me feel better vgm - that he won't forget me.... i hope he doesn't, i somehow don't think he will either... and i probably won't him.

but yeah, i have been talking to someone about all this... and she basically said you are not emotionally connected with H anymore -- so i know what i have to do.. i have to work on getting that back... and now that his position is set (he still travels) but he is AWARE of my feelings and needs and so he is trying... so i guess i gotta too....

DAMN THESE MEN THAT MAKE US WRITE ALL THIS STUFF TRYING TO PICK APART THE WHATS, THE WHENS , THE WHYS ........UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH ima run out of energy w/ this one but oh well.....

Linda and Roxi, I hope you can find happiness. I do not mean that in a bad way, please understand that...

We women, and Scorpio women at best, sacrifices our well being for that of others. Been there, done that, and many times! We are caretakers, even though we come across as we don't give a damn! Oh but we do. However, we like to show our strong personalities, and only a few get to see our vulnerability because we do not want to appear weak.

I was also in an empty marriage that lasted 15 years, he was unfaithful, I left him. I have not looked back since then. That was 10 years ago... I had, 2 girls, a teenager and a 3 yr old, and their father, sadly, is not very involved in their life. But my kids are happy because I am happy.

As I say, children are better off with two parents living under separate roofs where at least one parent is happy, than under the same roof where both parents are unhappy.

I saw a movie right before I separated that made me proceed with the divorce.. The message I got from that film was "do what you have to, to be happy in this life" We only have one life to live, so my dear fellow escorpionas, live life to the fullest. Life is full of experiences and don't look at your past as mistakes, but as learning experiences to be a better person today... We do not know what the future holds for us!

May you all find the love, within yourself, that you deserve, be good to yourselves!

I wonder if I am being good to myself going after a Virgo male! lol

Escorpiona -- thank you for your words... i agree with everything you say.... but i don't think my marriage is empty -- he has NEVER cheated or betrayed me... he has focused on himself and his career and so i feel sort of 'abandoned' but other than that he is a good man - intelligent, nice looking, good personality... not as talkative or emotional or 'strong-willed' as i am... so sometimes i feel like i am being the 'man' but that's me being a scorpio and number 10 of 13 children - the youngest girl -- so definitely am a survivor.....

i have three daughters - 17, 12 and 10 -- they love us both and even tho they hear us argue at times -- they don't want us to divorce...

but i agree with you wholeheartedly -- if mama is happy everybody's happy....

i think i just have to decide that this is what i want and work on it... if he works too and we can make each other happy again then life is good.... if we can't then i guess i will have to move on.... but i don't really want to i don't think.... i just wanna be happy w/o all the work, ha!

Escorpion: "I have a date with someone else, or just tell him I am busy period! "

Please don't do this. You'll just push him further away. Theres no need for it really. Just be yourself. come on your Scorpio, you can refrain yourself from calling..etc..I know its hard and patience really isn't my middle name either..but when duty calls..it has to be done..

Take things slowly..breathe..let each other breathe and everything will be just peachy 😉

All the best

Linda I am quoting you...

"he has focused on himself and his career and so i feel sort of 'abandoned' but other than that he is a good man - intelligent, nice looking, good personality... not as talkative or emotional or 'strong-willed'"

And so was my ex-husband and he was cheating on my without me knowing it. I would brag that I would put my hands on fire for him and I would not get burned. Thanks God I never did, because with so many infidelities, I would not have hands left. I found out about his infidelities because literally, I (almost) caught him with his pants down... So I left!

Maybe therapy will be good for you and your husband... But it takes a long time of serious counseling to really make any headway!

By the way, children never want to see their parents divorced, not even if the children are adults and have their own lives...

Please do not fool yourself, and make yourself believe that things between you and your husband will change, most likely they won't! Too late for him to do anything that would make you have a change of heart. Too little, too late!

Please be happy.

Carpem Diem! 🙂

A male friend just sent me this message...

"Trust me. I'm a guy. He's got something going on with someone else. Guys will move heaven and earth to be with a woman they really want to be with. Seriously, NOTHING will stand in their way. If I were you, I'd not contact him anymore and move on with your life."

So now I am wondering if in fact my Virgo man has someone else in his life! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr 🙂

S-I-L this is so confusing...

I am getting different views. People telling me different things. Some tell me, play hard to get, others say continue your contact as usual... So what is the right way?

I recall a book I read titled something to the effect "He Is Not Into You" where it states that if a man does not make the effort to contact you, he is not really interested in you. Of course, the book does not deal with signs nor personalities, but bottom line, I agree with the book, and I feel my Virgo man is not making the effort. At times I feel it is the "mandatory" gnite text mssg and not because he really is feeling the need to send me a message! The same as to phone calls...

Yes, I am a true Scorpio, so damn intense that at times I cannot even handle myself! lol

Oh la vita e bella! 😉

PS Humor, we have plenty! My Virgo man loves the way I make him laugh. He says I am soooooo funny! 🙂

See, I would think too and so do my friends, that if someone likes you and wants to be with you, they will go out of their way to do so. But Virgos ARE different right? Thats what I've been getting the more I read here. Its normal for them to go away, pop back, go away........ I wonder how long that last lol. Hopefully I'll still have patience then. And am sane.

The guy that sent me that message does not know my Virgo man at all, and knows nothing about him, but he is just going on what I have told him and his male gut instinct* I am gathering!

*all (most, to phrase it better) men are dogs! 😉

PS Roxi thank you for "liking me" 🙂

Escorpiona - i feel for you i would IMMEDIATELY leave -- strike that -- i would IMMEDIATELY MAKE HIM LEAVE -- if he ever cheated -especially repeatedly on me --but honestly i know from the depths of my soul that he has been 150% faithful thruout our 21 year marriage... he doesn't like 'making small talk' or chatting with people -- he tells me women on plane, etc. try to talk to him, but he's not interested -- he would rather read his civil war books or autobiographies of generals that have to chat.... but see that is my problem too, becuz he doesn't like to chat -- he's more like a Virgo -- analyzes things and internalizes things.. but anyway... and then look at me, he stays even tho what i've done...

roxi - yes, i know i shouldn't have pushed him, especially when he kept saying 'if you dont'bug me' maybe i will txt or email.... but i kept pushing for communication -- and he would say 'hate all the communication' (even tho in past we talked every day ALL day long for over 6 months!) go figure... but things were different now.... he wanted to stop the 'tomfoolery' he said several months ago, so i guess he just wanted occasional txt/rare intercourse cuz it had to be on his schedule (his married, responsible life schedule)..... anyway, i know i pushed too much and pushed him to go there and i need to figure things out....

life is not easy.... relationships/marriage are the most difficult, i just gotta work on things and give the real thing a chance...

but roxi -- you are still working on marriage with aries - how is that going -how do you do it?