ANOTHER VIRGO-SCORPIO DILEMMA (Page 4)

Everybody has something different to offer their partner.

My Virgo gives me more than anyone could ever imagine, from the way I talk, you'd never know . . he is kind, gentle, makes sure I have everything I need in life materially, will work his fingers to the bone for his family, always cheerful and positive (complete opposite of me), genuinely cares about his peeps . . a wonderul man that I love dearly, but . . . . . .

The one thing I am missing in my life is passion from him . . his desires are of ones to "serve" me and my needs and serving me is NOT what I need . . what I need is to be desired the way I desire him . . do I stay, yeah, here I am because relationships also has to do with comprimises . . nobody is perfect.

I've no doubt that my "sense of nonesense" irriates the crap out of him . . does he stay, yeah, because he loves me too . . it's a give and take. But, for a woman to pursue a relationship with a male Virgo, or any person, for that matter . . she HAS to accept the person for who he is . .

Women come in here and moan about the Virgo male NOT being there for them emotionally, intimately . . they are looking for him to feel "passionate" about her . . in reality, when women do this . . it's really their own fault because they are EXPECTING him to be her . . and he's not . . he's him.

I don't mean to sound like I don't love Virgo's because I do, very much . . that's why I'm always in here . . it's just this is getting ridiculous . .

He's Virgo . . not Scorpio, and he has to be accepted as such.

Sometimes . . I think we all just "look" for too much trouble in relationships, instead of just going with the wonderful feelings.

We make it harder than it has to be, and I'm not sure why we humans do this.

Maybe we're all insane and don't know it.

Shaka2.."in those scenarios i would understand the need of early withdeawal!".....would you please satisfy my curious mind, Why?

shaka2 said "I wouldnt be so quick to conclude that the disappearing acts have anything to do with being passionate or not, its more a matter of self-doubt; asking yourself constantly whether youve got what it takes to "deliver the goods", that is something we can be fully blamed for, no question about it."

Funny you mention "deliver the goods" so let me give you another twist to the story...

The 3rd time we had the sex, it was this past Monday. That same morning was when we had the chat of the exclusivity, that same evening it was the time we went to dinner and where he told me he got the blessings from him brother and cousin on our exclusivity. Then it was his house, TV, making out and ended up in bed.

He had a hard time getting it up. He said that had never had happened to him. I have had other men that when we first have sexual contact, they cannot get it up the first time, however this was our 3rd time. It even happened with my husband at the beginning as well, he is a Pisces. There is a theory why that happens, but I am not going to get into the details now. But anyway, I relaxed my Virgo man, made it be like it was no big deal. I kept insisting/doing/playing and finally he was able to perform and it was nice, but I believe there is potential to be a lot better.

Then Tuesday no news besides the late gnite text message and Wednesday, after 2 emails from me, he called in the evening, and it was where he withdrew his exclusivity...

Does it have to do with his fear of not been able to perform sexually? Or because of his fears that he was soft a bit? I do not know, we have not talked about that.

It may have to do with his fears of not being a great lover, or the lack of that passion we are talking about here. And yes, I am very passionate! Twice he has told me (each time when we were going at it) "you are such a woman" so go figure what that means?

Whether a coincidence or not, but from the progression of things, I wonder if his non-passionate moment (to call it nicely, his inability to perform as it would have been expected) made him have a change of mind on the exclusivity position?

Probably that is not something that he wants to talk about. I can understand why it would make him nervous, embarrassed or something along those lines. I hope he gets over his fears, be it sexually or commitment, I would like to see his passionate side. But, like I said I am not going to wait for him or on him too much longer.

Any takers?

PS We slept together in our 10th date! lol

Shaka2 said "we feel "suffocated" its almost like guilt, its like we blame ourselves for allowing to happen so much in such a short lapse of time."

Yep, I got that feeling from my Virgo man. He felt guilty and apologized so much for withdrawing the "exclusivity" and he kept saying it was not about me but about him, That there was nothing wrong with me! He also said, please (yes, a well mannered man, lots of please and thank you in his vocabulary) not to throw him to the curve, not just yet. And when I asked him about "not just yet" he said, nope that is not what he meant, what he meant was not to give up on him.

Well, at least we area able to communicate and talk, like I said, when I push the issues. On his own, he does not bring any touchy feelings subjects. He is more likely to talk about daily stuff that things that matters to the heart...

Shaka2 happy showering! lol

"Funny you mention "deliver the goods" so let me give you another twist to the story..."

Another twist to the story?

OMG . . am I the only person who gets this?

You're looking for answers and there aren't any . . it's not about this situation, he said this, but did that, I was here, he was over there, what does this mean, I think it means this, blah, blah . . .

For christ sake . . . this creating drama is getting tiresome . .

A person CANNOT be EXPECTED to live up to another . . they can only live up to who THEY are. You say, I'm just looking for opinions, but, you're not looking at yourself. You say you know who you are and that is obviously BS . . you want answers, you want someone - ANYONE - to tell you what is going on with this man.

Here is your answer . . this is the answer for every human being . . what's going on with him is that he is being him and YOU WANT him to conform to YOU, therefore, reading every friggin thing as it relates to YOU personally . .he's not gonna be you personally, he's gonna be HIM.

This is driving me nuts . . certainly, there's nothing wrong with being determined, but, when it gets to the point of being ignorant to the self . . . I lose patience and get nasty . . .

This man is him . . leave that alone because he has a right to be him. If you can't accept that . . then the problem is YOURS.

Quite being so goddamm needy and controlling, quite analyzing every thing he does, or does not do . . and let him live up to HIS own standards and values, for christs sake.

You're really pissing me off because you're listening to a goddamm thing anyone is saying to you and pushing forward with more scenerio's . . drama queen.

There ain't a friggin problem with him . . he is being HIM . .

** Not listening . . You're NOT listening to anything anybody is saying and just bombarding us with more situational drama.

Please, stop it . . what the hell do you want?

I'll tell you . . you want someone to tell you what's the matter with him.

There's nothing the matter with him . . there's something the matter with you because you won't ACCEPT the man for who he is.

Jesus Fucking Christ

Angelina, please, I am having fun with all the posting, and I am picking on you'all brains. So dear, just take it easy. I am not losing sleep over it! lol

By the way, I love that he is being him, I like that. I am only trying to figure him out, that is all. lol

Figure yourself out . . that is where the problem lies.

He's been up front, honest and has told you exactly where he's coming from. He hasn't played games with you . . figure what out? He fucking told you.

You keep posting the same crap, people keep giving you the same answers . .

Talk about beating a dead horse . .

As soon as someone says something . . . you ask the same godddamm questions, over and over again . . figure him out?

What you want is an answer that suits you . . that is what you want.

Because if you wanted to figure him out . . you'd be LISTENING TO HIM

Angelina, I really have not seen the same answer dear. With each new answer I get a better feel for the man, and I like that. Now dear, if you are getting so upset, and rude, about this thread, then do not read anymore. Nevertheless, I thank you for all the sharing and opinions you have had. Gracias, mi amiga.

I am so analytical, gosh I may have some Virgo in me, some where! Oh yes, my Venus lol

Yes, I know me well....

With my sun in Scorpio, my moon in Leo and my ascendant in Capricorn, how more hard-headed can you get! lol

Angelina baby, hope you have a great day, and get some sleep. It seems last nite you had a looooooong nite! lol

Angelina said "you'd be LISTENING TO HIM"

I will once he calls me! lol

Your condenscating attitude towards me all along has been noted, though, I've not mentioned it . . my name is P-Angel and I am not your dear. Normally, I just ignore this, for people are who they are . . so, I'm not in any way suggesting that you stop talking to me like an insubordinate because pompous, you most certainly are, and that is who you are . . just thought I would mention that I've noticed this arrogant quality.

It's highly likely that since he is Virgo . . he has noticed this too.

Suit yourself, because you are yourself . . many things I may be . . but, a fool is not one of them and I will not be controlled by another, for my husband, being the Virgo he is, encourages me to be myself, such as he is . . it is becoming clear to me that this is the likely reason why he is backing away from you . . I should think any Virgo would.

Sit high and mighty on your throne . . that is your choice . . I've no doubt he has noticed this as well. When he has something to say to you . . if you add your dears in this tone . . lol . . he is Virgo . . he will NOT tolerate this.

For he is human, just as I am, just as we all are . . dear and baby them . . will get you very much rejected by the Virgo . . again . . this problem is within yourself because it is obvious that you won't ALLOW a person to feel, without mocking them.

lol . . from P-Angel . .

You want to know WHY he backed off? Here's why . .


"So I wrote him a coupe of emails that I was perplexed that after he had asked me for exclusivity, I do not hear from him, specially since he had 2 days offs. He finally calls me, because I ask him to please do so when I wrote him the second email. And guess what! Over the phone, he told me he wanted to withdraw the exclusivity."


He tells you he wants to date only you, you only him . . exclusive . . then because you are overbearing and controlling, you email him wanting to know what's the matter with him because he is not giving you every fucking second of his life . . within TWO days, you are demanding of his time . . you think he's an idiot? He just got out of a marriage, you think he's gonna get involved with a woman who won't ALLOW him 2 days off of work to relax in his own fucking life, without bothering him about why he isn't contacting you?

Christ . . it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out . . within 2 days . . you attempted to smother him and suffocate him . . geeeez, you need to get brains.

My God . .

"Message posted by: ESCORPIONA on 1/11/2007 11:24:44 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.8
Guys thank you for your great attitude, it is a good start.


A good start?

Why thank you for keeping us in track, your highness !!!!!

People like you irriate the fuck out of me . . you think your above everybody else?
Do you talk to HIM this way?

Geeeee . . I wonder why he's withdrawing?

So noted, notso . . I will retract the last post for you.

However, keep in mind . . she is NOT impaired with the English language by any means.

Ok, this happened to me with two guys I dated. One of them was a friend, and it was on our first real date (we had gone out twice before), I told him that it was not an issue at all, he was quiet at the moment, we had breakfast next morning, he told me that "I was so enchanting that he was scared to ask me out at first". Anyways, he did not want to see me again. We had a talk -it was not very nice- couple of weeks later, I happened to ask him "was that about his performance" and he denied. (In this case I thought I scared him a lot).

The second was with another guy I met online, we went out once, and a week later on our second date we ended up at his apt. He had told me that he just broke up with his gf. We had two more dates, and then he went back to where his gf lived (withough letting me know) and made up with her. (I thought his feelings for her caused the problem with me and he decided that he was better off with her).

These were not Virgo males, however, in my opinion, it is a big issue with all men no matter what they say. Not just the fear of "something's going wrong down there" but also, they believe that they are getting some sort of gut feeling about the woman. that she may not be a good match for them in the long haul (or the chemistry may not be so good). (Gush, they must really be thinking with their sticks!!)

For Virgos, you can add their insecurity to the pot. I mean, maybe you were such a good catch that he got scared you might break the exclusivity deal soon -together with his heart- if she can't get good sex.

You are right, notso, and I have backed away from the assessment of that particular post.

love4ever, from my experience and listening to the male Virgo's in here, sexual performance does not appear to be an issue . . in fact, quite the opposite. They appear to be confident in this department. However, every man is different. Equally, it doesn't appear that the females have any sexual tramas, either.

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on sexual performance of the Virgo, if I were faced with the problem of a disappearing Virgo. From my experience with the Virgo and listening to posters on this board, I would hold more validity into their need for personal space to chew on their worries, which, unfortunately, is apart of thier natural state. They are the "fretters" and in having the ability and freedom of doing this at their own pace, seems to be of great importance to them.

To be with the Virgo, one must not only understand their nature, also, apply this to the relationship . . they REQUIRE their personal space . . this is who they are.

You've got an excellent point. Can't say that I know any woman who has multiple complaints of finding men with ED issues. That is certainly something to ponder.

Going back to re-read this testimony:

"He had a hard time getting it up. He said that had never had happened to him. I have had other men that when we first have sexual contact, they cannot get it up the first time, however this was our 3rd time. It even happened with my husband at the beginning as well, he is a Pisces. There is a theory why that happens, but I am not going to get into the details now. But anyway, I relaxed my Virgo man, made it be like it was no big deal. I kept insisting/doing/playing and finally he was able to perform and it was nice, but I believe there is potential to be a lot better."

Quite odd . . potential to be better would indicate that what he has isn't acceptable or adequate . . I would suspect this would certainly put a damper on the interest. For myself, I think if a man took me sexually and he thought I had room for improvement in this department . . I would lose arousal for him . . but, that's just me.

So, how long are you suppose to wait for the goods, Dyr?

Just wnenever you feel better? Is it at your discretion?

Enlighten me, for obviously, I don't have male parts . . why can't you do anything?
Would that mess up the surgery?
Or, is it just too painful?

"if her well has run dry... it happens - especially at this age!"

I haven't noticed this in myself. It is suppose to be an issue with women in my age group, along with the vaginal lining becoming thinner . . of course, one would have to have sex to know this, and well . .................................

lol . . so tomarrow we'll be repsonding to a thread called:

Blew Balz

Well I am back! Did anybody miss me? 🙂

First let me explain several issues. I am not on a high horse, nor on a thrown. I was just being funny and friendly, and not arrogant, but if P-Angel you took it that way, well sorry, it was not my intention to offend you nor anyone else. And by the way I called you Angelina, since I have seen other people doing it. I thought that was your name.

Yes, English is my second language, I did say at the beginning of my thread that I was a foreigner, and I have a very heavy accent. I learnt English as a teenager. I am rather educated (it is a fact, not bragging here, in case anyone is too sensitive), but a foreigner nevertheless. However, I manage my language skills just fine. We all make mistakes, even the native English speakers.

I am the new kid on the block, most of you seems to know each other for a while, I was just trying to fit in. But it seems that I may have outcasted myself, but I am fine with that. Only time will tell, and my continuous posting, so you can get a better feel for who I am and what my style is. I am not worried!

Now, to the essence of my posts. I know I have written a lot about my situation because I wanted to have many views on what was going on, and not because I am compulsive (intense yes, and passionate) but not needy nor into high drama, regardless what P-Angel may think.

You all can make whatever you want out of my sexuality. I am fine with that as well... I know I am a total woman and not lacking on any department. I am not a whore, nor am I stretched, nor dry, or what have you!

I came to this site wanting answers, wanting opinions and feedback. And, that is what I have gotten, regardless of what it has been said, and I sincerely thank each of you for the time and the thoughts you have given me.

As to my Virgo man, I have been very low key from the very beginning. I have made no demands of him. I only wrote him those 2 emails because he went MIA for 2 days, both his days off, and his style before that, was to call me, text mssg me every day, and some times more than once a day, so it seemed strange that after he asked me to be exclusive, he disappeared. That was all...

He called me this afternoon from him work. We had a little chit chat and I wished him fun watching the game on TV tonight. He also told me that he called me because he was thinking of me. I said thank you. He said he was happy to hear my voice.

And that is all folks. Again, thanks for your time.

Shaka2'think you know I meant withdrawal, anyway your answer to my curious mind question is interesting it's nice to know a man would go away and think about something like that and take it seriously enough, I have respect for that but if you could would you explain the guilt part more please is that from your perspective or hers?

Ooops thrown, scratch that, I meant throne! There goes the foreigner in me!

P-Angel apparently us fish women never run dry, I read it somewhere it wasn't very flattering actually but basically we should have no need to be reaching out for the old ky gel...

woodsnake .. . this just doesn't appear to be a problem. I'm always wet, drenched with just my steamy thoughts . . yeah . . I hadn't realized it was our fish-kind

It's cool, we never have to worry about this. 🙂

Message posted by: notso07 on 1/13/2007 2:43:07 PMip: xxx.xxx.xxx.36
I don't think that was necessary, Miss P-Angel.

You may have taken her words the wrong way. For one, she is not a native English speaker (as far as I know). "A good start" is not patronizing or condescending. She's new here...and her RELATIONSHIP with the fellow DXPers is off to a good start. You didn't respond as maturely as you make yourself out to be.

-------------------------------
Notso, thank you for taking that position. I give everybody their space. I do not use nasty words on people, nor do I get down to a level of lack of maturity, but anyone is entitled to use cussing words, or cussing me out for that matter. I do not get offended. I know better, I am a total lady.

But to each its own, and besides, this is the internet, anyone can say and be whoever and whatever they want to be... We are all protected by a screen!

Sexuality improves as two people get to know each other in bed. The likes and dislikes, the faster/slower, the stronger/softer and the blah, blah, blah, side of a sexual relation.

As two people get in tuned with each other their sex gets better, that is why I said there was the potential of improvement. He turns me on, and I believe I turn him on...

On a side note, P-Angel, now it seems you are the one dissecting each and very sentence I have posted here. Please do not take a personal attack on me. I have not offended you, and if you got offended, it was not my intention, I did not direct any offenses at/to you. Do consider that, for whatever is worth.

And now people I will say later, since I am going out in the town to do some of my Latin moves! Dancing that is!

Hope you all have a great night!

Ciao 😉

Blimey still going on is it..Escorpiona, still causing havoc I see..naughty naughty!..

LOL..Love all my fellow Scorps..

Roxi . . it's 10 in the morning here . . still drinking coffee

ESCORPIONA,anything more going on with your Virgo? We are not here because we are confused. This board brought me so much comforts in the past few months as I realized I was not the only person who got confused by Virgo attitude. We have nice people here who gave us good advice. That helped me a lot. I think that helped you too. Actually you may not realize that you are helping other people too, like me. With your story, we know better about Virgos, what is more, we get inspired by your strong personality too.
Virgos are human beings too, they have feelings too. While we are feeling so confused here, they may be suffering lot more than us, at least we can talk about our troubles out here, what they are doing there is just struggling inside themselves and torture themselves their way and can not even vent out anywhere. This is how I understand about Virgos. Maybe I am not right as I am not a Virgo.
But most of all, I wish you all the happiness now and forever.

Oh please . . all that sex talk on the Scorpio board . .

** Making you moist . . admit it !!!

Not much going on with my Virgo man lately. I went out Saturday nite with some g/fs and danced a bunch! I love to dance. Sunday no news, and today we chatted on line a bit in the morning (day off for both of us) but very light conversation. He had to go, he had to do things around his house. I later sent him a text mssg and wished him good luck on a phone call he has going to get on a job interview, as well told him I missed him. He texted me back telling me he missed too. But that it is all...

I am not going to wonder anymore or try to figure him out. Time will tell...

Thank you people for your support and concerns! I am cool with all of the posters, so you'all know!