First time ever i saw your face...

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by Dafna79 on Tuesday, November 8, 2011 and has 7 replies.
Well my story is long, dated for 3 months then he started the dissappearing acts, couldn't deal, told him so and ended things, somehow we managed to stay friends, now we work together, he is getting closer, opening up and we are both starting to be a lot more confortable around each other, back in july he told me out of the blue "i like you, what are we going to do about it" so we agreed to start dating again obviously a few days later he pulls back, changes his mind, as always ughhhhh :-) anyway I am being extremely patient, focused on my life and letting him be. I feel as he is constantly testing to see my reactions, I had reacted emotional in the past so now it almost feels like he does stuff to see my reaction, confusing but I have to admit I am hooked. I know how he feels about me, he cannot for the love of god express it but I feel it in the way he looks at me, how shy and inadequate he acts when he is around me, etc
The other day after a period of being cold & distant the little intra office chat pops open and this is waht he said "First time ever i saw your face" i was busy and distracted and didnt know it was a song so I said "what????" "never mind you ruined the song..." so i googled the lyrics (lol yeah i had too i am that bad) and was left speechless, so i responded "..aweeee virgguy name....." his response "wait want to tell you something but i need to concentrate..."Obviously he didn't say anything else lol but to be honest he didn't need to, so as always just when I am starting to feel he really does not care and has no feelingsnfor me he comes and does something like this... Can anyone explain why aftrr this episode he is being acting like it never happened??? Why would you do something like that and then act like yes I gave you something nice, is for ou, that's how i feel but please pretend it never happened....
Recently he is been opening up about other things, and the other day he told me about some stuff he is doing, i am very close to his family and they didnt know and he made a point in telling me nobody knows so please be careful, i love that he is opening up and especially that he is beginning to trust me, is this a good sign??? Also lately i have felt we are connecting intelectually, we have discovered we like a lot of the same things but never had a chance to discover this before. But every single time we get closer like this his next step or reaction is to become distant. I feel him so close and then he turns to ice.. advice
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don't react to the distant. its part of who he is and you have to accept it. let him go off and do his thing and he'll come back to you. IF you fence him in, he'll run.
Sometimes they need space and distance to work out something going on. Give it to him. Doesnt mean he likes/loves u any less.
Be his friend first. if hes opening up, then he trusts you. if u judge him, he'll close up. Doesn't mean u have to always agree, and they will appreciate advice or your view if its done with love and care.
their ok with emotion but not off the wall, hence why earth signs click..we can control emotions.
""First time ever i saw your face" ...i was busy and distracted and didnt know it was a song so I said "what????" "never mind you ruined the song..."
-you hurt his feelings. he was being loving and u didnt pick up on it.
dont play games with him. he likes you..a lot. make sure he knows it because if he gives u his heart, its yours forever.
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I really wasn't playing games, I disn't even know there was a song, never heard it, but when I realized what it was I did react, but as soon as I reacted he starting acting all cold and distant an even flirting with his little FB friends, is hard i did post a song that described our relationship perfectly and he dis not react which was fine as long as he lnew how I felt. No w I have read advice that I should express how I feel bit as soon as a try he gets cold distant and ignores me, when he sees me after and he can see i am not mad and havent reacted in a negative way bc of his cold behavior he opens up again, tries and show me how he feels but when I react he geys unconfortabel, is almost as he doesnt want me to react, like take it now you know how I feel, but i am not ready for you right now, let me do my thing, it will happen eventually... god i love this guy an i know how he is when he is in for it, he gave a taste of that for 3 months until he started to fall for me and ran, I wished I knew him better bck then, if I did I would have been patient and we would probably be togerher now, it's going to be a year|. But i gotta admit those little burst of expressing his feelings make up for all the distant and icy behavior :-)
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Hmmmm I wish I had that patience..... But Im not sure...giveit a go and keep us posted....can't really tolerate all that hot and cold beh..... after 10 months now...
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known my virgo friend and lover 12 years. Yep..12 years and only now are we a couple. not because we never wanted to be because NOW is when destiny and fate allowed us to be.
You wanna talk about patience..
We were supppose to move in together 4 months ago and even then he ran. yep..he did...even after all the years of friendship. we didnt speak for months..I never even tried to contact him, I simply let him go and went on with my life. Until one day he called me..and we haven't been apart since.
I never judged him for what he did..just listened to him. I understood how he felt and why. I forgave because that's what love is. I had to tell him I loved him first. And from that day, a day does not go by he doesn't tell me the same. I've told him..you can't ever walk away now, U are mine. Trust, respect, compliment, value them and show a virgo how important he is to you..thats what they want..at least from my experience. BUT, allow them the freedom they need to.
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Posted by Dafna79
... I did react, but as soon as I reacted he starting acting all cold and distant ...
... I should express how I feel bit as soon as a try he gets cold distant and ignores me ...
... tries and show me how he feels but when I react he geys unconfortabel, is almost as he doesnt want me to react ....





I've already explained this like a thousand times in here ..... Virgo cannot empathize.
He can feel and can show you what he thinks and feels, but, the moment you express feelings he has no choice except to pull away because the purpose of you expressing or showing him how you feel is for him to take in this awareness and reciprocate.
And he cannot respond to how you feel .... since he cannot understand how you feel, because that requires empathy.
A Virgo only knows how they feel = Pisces opposite, who lives primarily vicariously within how others feel.

He pulls away everytime you show him feelings because you might expect him to acknowledge how you feel in terms of the same emotional endearment .... and he cannot do that. Doesn't know how.
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Thank you all for the comments and insight, yes I have learned to be patient, but like I said I am still living and enjoying my life and if we are meant to be together so be it. Now I am curious, from a Virgo point of view, how would you have reacted or how would a Virgo guy would had wanted me to respond to this???? I did reapond showed him I was touched but he turned cold inmediately, and when he did it was very hard but I disn't react negatively I kept being my usual self, it was like yeah we both know how we feel, moving on... lol
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