Taurus Man Being Distant...

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by Nabilah92 on Thursday, March 9, 2023 and has 25 replies.
Posted by Nabilah92
I explained that it's hard to be patient when things changed suddenly with no explanation and that it hurt my feelings.
Posted by Nabilah92
Our change in communication came up again (I brought it up) and he mentioned that he was working long hours and trying to put things in place before I came back to visit.
click to expand


He did give you an explanation, it just wasn't one you wanted to hear/accept.
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Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Nabilah92
I explained that it's hard to be patient when things changed suddenly with no explanation and that it hurt my feelings.


Posted by Nabilah92
Our change in communication came up again (I brought it up) and he mentioned that he was working long hours and trying to put things in place before I came back to visit.
click to expand

He did give you an explanation, it just wasn't one you wanted to hear/accept.
click to expand
LadyNeptune! You've been giving me input for years.

I wouldn't say I didn't accept his explanation, I didn't accept this distance. Do you think I wasn't being understanding? Did I overreact? What really threw me off was when I told him I missed him and he ignored the message. It's just been super confusing for me.

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Just a random scenario-

Maybe he met someone else and is actively dating but still enjoys the relationship that you two have.

Like you say you aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend and you two are long distance.

Many people don’t do well in this type of situation. But things may not go well if he met someone new either, so why would he say anything to you about it.

Something is going on with him, not you, so don’t blame yourself. But if you have plans to see him and still care about him, then go as long as he’s not making excuses for you not to come.

You two both seem to be doing the casual thing.

Usually when a man backs away they are busy with something or someone else.
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If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.

Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?
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Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.

Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?
I didn’t think of it that way. I said it to tell him how I felt, not to guilt trip him. We’d say it almost every day, with him being the one who said it first. But they probably lost their meaning, maybe for both of us. I gave him space, we’d go days without talking cause I refused to reach out.

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Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.

Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?
And he didn’t ask for apace, he never came out and said it. He just got distant 😩

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Posted by saggurl88
Just a random scenario-

Maybe he met someone else and is actively dating but still enjoys the relationship that you two have.
Like you say you aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend and you two are long distance.

Many people don’t do well in this type of situation. But things may not go well if he met someone new either, so why would he say anything to you about it.

Something is going on with him, not you, so don’t blame yourself. But if you have plans to see him and still care about him, then go as long as he’s not making excuses for you not to come.

You two both seem to be doing the casual thing.

Usually when a man backs away they are busy with something or someone else.
I’m going to see him when I travel because our families know each other, so o can’t avoid him. I guess I understand that scenario. But it doesn’t make me feel any better lol. I still care about him, but I don’t feel secure in the connection anymore. I feel such a disconnect now. Even though he told me I don’t need to give him space, I have no desire to initiate contact anymore. Cause actions speak louder than words, and his actions made me feel like he was trying to give me a hint to remove myself.
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I just want to be over the situation. I texted him back after leaving it unread for hours and I wish I would’ve never responded. The convo is dry and it feels like he’s just trying to appease me at this point. I really have it in my mind to not reach out at all and not respond anymore, I’m just over it.
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Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.
Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?


I didn’t think of it that way. I said it to tell him how I felt, not to guilt trip him. We’d say it almost every day, with him being the one who said it first. But they probably lost their meaning, maybe for both of us. I gave him space, we’d go days without talking cause I refused to reach out.


click to expand
Chill out a bit, before the situation becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I personally like to slow down the daily texting before someone's visit, since: 1) Will get plenty of conversation soon; 2) I need sort out other obligations (work, family, etc) to make up for the time I need to take off because of the visit. From what he said, he's doing the same. This is not a game, it's about timing and setting priorities.
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Posted by Nabilah92
I just want to be over the situation. I texted him back after leaving it unread for hours and I wish I would’ve never responded. The convo is dry and it feels like he’s just trying to appease me at this point. I really have it in my mind to not reach out at all and not respond anymore, I’m just over it.
Good luck in your future dating life with your impatience and attitude.
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Posted by Undine
Posted by Nabilah92
I just want to be over the situation. I texted him back after leaving it unread for hours and I wish I would’ve never responded. The convo is dry and it feels like he’s just trying to appease me at this point. I really have it in my mind to not reach out at all and not respond anymore, I’m just over it.


Good luck in your future dating life with your impatience and attitude.
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Lol thanks for the sarcasm. I’m not being impatient, my feelings are hurt. Im not demanding anything from him. I’m just not in the business of putting energy into a situation that isn’t making me feel good and makes me confused.

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Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.
Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?


I say it’s customary to say words back IF one cares at all. Not saying it back says a lot and him keeping holding her ass in a long leash is his way of having a ‘spare’ - not cool but hey!
He does him. Who can blame? He is ldr rship man with no obligations.
Yes he could echo her ‘miss you’ but he might had someone’s boob in his hand so it would be awkward…life shouldn’t be this complicated.
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Thank you!! Not saying it back spoke volumes to me, especially since he was the one who would say it first most times. It felt like the second I let my guard down and really started checking into our situation, he pulled away. It really shouldn’t be this complicated. I keep giving him a way out and he won’t take it. He thinks he’s keeping me on a leash but I’m not giving him my energy once I travel there. It’s not cool to put people on the back burner, I wish people would just be straight up.

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Posted by Undine
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.
Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?


I didn’t think of it that way. I said it to tell him how I felt, not to guilt trip him. We’d say it almost every day, with him being the one who said it first. But they probably lost their meaning, maybe for both of us. I gave him space, we’d go days without talking cause I refused to reach out.

click to expand

Chill out a bit, before the situation becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

I personally like to slow down the daily texting before someone's visit, since: 1) Will get plenty of conversation soon; 2) I need sort out other obligations (work, family, etc) to make up for the time I need to take off because of the visit. From what he said, he's doing the same. This is not a game, it's about timing and setting priorities.
click to expand
I’m trying to chill out, what’s really replaying in my head is me telling him I miss him and him ignoring that message and responding to the others. I would hope it’s not a game, because I feel he genuinely cares for me. But I’m having a hard time with it. It’s easy for me to understand if something is openly communicated to me. I don’t respond well to things that come off as passive aggressive.

If it were you, how would you proceed? I just feel stupid and desperate. I haven’t done anything to feel that way but I do.
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Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by saggurl88
Just a random scenario-
Maybe he met someone else and is actively dating but still enjoys the relationship that you two have.
Like you say you aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend and you two are long distance.
Many people don’t do well in this type of situation. But things may not go well if he met someone new either, so why would he say anything to you about it.
Something is going on with him, not you, so don’t blame yourself. But if you have plans to see him and still care about him, then go as long as he’s not making excuses for you not to come.
You two both seem to be doing the casual thing.
Usually when a man backs away they are busy with something or someone else.


I’m going to see him when I travel because our families know each other, so o can’t avoid him. I guess I understand that scenario. But it doesn’t make me feel any better lol. I still care about him, but I don’t feel secure in the connection anymore. I feel such a disconnect now. Even though he told me I don’t need to give him space, I have no desire to initiate contact anymore. Cause actions speak louder than words, and his actions made me feel like he was trying to give me a hint to remove myself.
click to expand

Honey! Is he the only man ever? You have him your heart without him asking for it. He is enjoying having you missing him. He is a free man in his head. So be a free woman.
click to expand
Lol you’re def right, he isn’t the only man and we are both free. It’s just that right now, my feelings are hurt. In hindsight, it’ll probably be meaningless.
details
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by Undine
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.
Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?



I didn’t think of it that way. I said it to tell him how I felt, not to guilt trip him. We’d say it almost every day, with him being the one who said it first. But they probably lost their meaning, maybe for both of us. I gave him space, we’d go days without talking cause I refused to reach out.
click to expand


Chill out a bit, before the situation becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
I personally like to slow down the daily texting before someone's visit, since: 1) Will get plenty of conversation soon; 2) I need sort out other obligations (work, family, etc) to make up for the time I need to take off because of the visit. From what he said, he's doing the same. This is not a game, it's about timing and setting priorities.
click to expand

I’m trying to chill out, what’s really replaying in my head is me telling him I miss him and him ignoring that message and responding to the others. I would hope it’s not a game, because I feel he genuinely cares for me. But I’m having a hard time with it. It’s easy for me to understand if something is openly communicated to me. I don’t respond well to things that come off as passive aggressive.

If it were you, how would you proceed? I just feel stupid and desperate. I haven’t done anything to feel that way but I do.
click to expand
He may still be into you, but not as much into texting as you are! Sometimes texting is used to create a connection, but once it forms, trying to find new subjects to avoid repeating yourself by texting is draining, especially when your job also demands your brain power. Do you have a lot of common interests to talk about? Why don't you try something else, like a long chat once a week, to catch up with the main events in your lives?

If I were you, I would keep in touch once a week and then pay him a visit to see how things really are. If it fizzled out or not, you'll have your answer soon. These being said, long distance relationships are hard work. If you feel like ending it, take a few days to think about, and then follow your gut.
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Posted by Undine
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by Undine
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.
Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?



I didn’t think of it that way. I said it to tell him how I felt, not to guilt trip him. We’d say it almost every day, with him being the one who said it first. But they probably lost their meaning, maybe for both of us. I gave him space, we’d go days without talking cause I refused to reach out.
click to expand



Chill out a bit, before the situation becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
I personally like to slow down the daily texting before someone's visit, since: 1) Will get plenty of conversation soon; 2) I need sort out other obligations (work, family, etc) to make up for the time I need to take off because of the visit. From what he said, he's doing the same. This is not a game, it's about timing and setting priorities.
click to expand


I’m trying to chill out, what’s really replaying in my head is me telling him I miss him and him ignoring that message and responding to the others. I would hope it’s not a game, because I feel he genuinely cares for me. But I’m having a hard time with it. It’s easy for me to understand if something is openly communicated to me. I don’t respond well to things that come off as passive aggressive.
If it were you, how would you proceed? I just feel stupid and desperate. I haven’t done anything to feel that way but I do.
click to expand

He may still be into you, but not as much into texting as you are! Sometimes texting is used to create a connection, but once it forms, trying to find new subjects to avoid repeating yourself by texting is draining, especially when your job also demands your brain power. Do you have a lot of common interests to talk about? Why don't you try something else, like a long chat once a week, to catch up with the main events in your lives?

If I were you, I would keep in touch once a week and then pay him a visit to see how things really are. If it fizzled out or not, you'll have your answer soon. These being said, long distance relationships are hard work. If you feel like ending it, take a few days to think about, and then follow your gut.
click to expand
Thank you for your perspective, I didn’t see it that way. Tbh we’ve been texting on and off since 2021, and it’s gotten stale for me. I’m a huge texter, he never really was much of a conversationalist via text. In person, we can talk about anything. He’s very gentle and affectionate with me when we are together.

I’m going to give myself some time like you said. I woke up this morning and it was heavy on my heart. I’ve been up and down about it for weeks tbh. Things just feel so off, that I don’t want to push for anything anymore. I care about him and wish things were the same, but I have to accept what is.

Thank you for taking the time to respond, it is really helpful.
details
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by saggurl88
Just a random scenario-
Maybe he met someone else and is actively dating but still enjoys the relationship that you two have.
Like you say you aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend and you two are long distance.
Many people don’t do well in this type of situation. But things may not go well if he met someone new either, so why would he say anything to you about it.
Something is going on with him, not you, so don’t blame yourself. But if you have plans to see him and still care about him, then go as long as he’s not making excuses for you not to come.
You two both seem to be doing the casual thing.
Usually when a man backs away they are busy with something or someone else.



I’m going to see him when I travel because our families know each other, so o can’t avoid him. I guess I understand that scenario. But it doesn’t make me feel any better lol. I still care about him, but I don’t feel secure in the connection anymore. I feel such a disconnect now. Even though he told me I don’t need to give him space, I have no desire to initiate contact anymore. Cause actions speak louder than words, and his actions made me feel like he was trying to give me a hint to remove myself.
click to expand



Honey! Is he the only man ever? You have him your heart without him asking for it. He is enjoying having you missing him. He is a free man in his head. So be a free woman.
click to expand


Lol you’re def right, he isn’t the only man and we are both free. It’s just that right now, my feelings are hurt. In hindsight, it’ll probably be meaningless.
click to expand

Your feelings hurt because you let him in and it wasn’t his fault. You both had a 2 single LDR people moments.
I am not sure what it means ‘caring’ about someone when you are in fact just 2 people who simply spent time talking while had nothing better to do. How was he ‘caring’ or IS caring about you and you claim you KNOW it?
What did he DO to show you he cared?
click to expand
You are so right, I don’t have the answers to those questions. He offered to pay for my ticket, I told him to save the $ $ for when I’m there to take me out. But, that’s the only reference I have.

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Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Undine
If you tell him "I miss you" after he asked for space from your constant texting, it sounds like you are guilt tripping him.
Did you give him enough space to miss you, or do you expect him to always echo your words, to the point they lose their meaning?



I say it’s customary to say words back IF one cares at all. Not saying it back says a lot and him keeping holding her ass in a long leash is his way of having a ‘spare’ - not cool but hey!
He does him. Who can blame? He is ldr rship man with no obligations.
Yes he could echo her ‘miss you’ but he might had someone’s boob in his hand so it would be awkward…life shouldn’t be this complicated.
click to expand


Thank you!! Not saying it back spoke volumes to me, especially since he was the one who would say it first most times. It felt like the second I let my guard down and really started checking into our situation, he pulled away. It really shouldn’t be this complicated. I keep giving him a way out and he won’t take it. He thinks he’s keeping me on a leash but I’m not giving him my energy once I travel there. It’s not cool to put people on the back burner, I wish people would just be straight up.
click to expand

Having you away he felt some connection maybe until he met someone in flesh at hand reach and you fell off and became ‘that woman far away I have nice conversations’ vs the one whom temperature he could feel. So he want missing you anymore because he was occupied. He just couldn’t squeeze’miss you’ out of himself. At least he wasn’t lying.
I would as well take it as a huge red flag!
But imagine if you met someone.
It would be exactly the same scenario.
You wouldn’t miss HIM anymore.
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This is true! I’m trying not to take it personal. It just is. After that happened, I knew where things were headed. He just responded to my message and I’m going to just leave it. At this point there’s nothing for me to do.
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Same old Taurus man pulled back scenario.

Taurus comes on strong

Other person feeds into it

Taurus pulls back for some vague reason

Other person is driven batshyt insane by the bulls action

Taurus plays the IDK what your talking about game

Other person is frustrated and eventually blocks bull

Taurus still plays the dumb card, gaslights

Other person comes to dxp wondering if they’ve gone insane

Taurus gets lazy and more dumb

Other person tries and tries someone

Taurus feels pressured and claims to need patience, disappears and re-emerges like nothing ever happened
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Posted by DMV
Same old Taurus man pulled back scenario.

Taurus comes on strong
Other person feeds into it
Taurus pulls back for some vague reason
Other person is driven batshyt insane by the bulls action
Taurus plays the IDK what your talking about game
Other person is frustrated and eventually blocks bull
Taurus still plays the dumb card, gaslights
Other person comes to dxp wondering if they’ve gone insane
Taurus gets lazy and more dumb
Other person tries and tries someone
Taurus feels pressured and claims to need patience, disappears and re-emerges like nothing ever happened
Yeeeeah absolutely not lol this is on point. He’s cancelled, cause it’s the gaslighting that gets me. Why are men like this?!?!?
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Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by MonaLisa26
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by saggurl88
Just a random scenario-
Maybe he met someone else and is actively dating but still enjoys the relationship that you two have.
Like you say you aren’t boyfriend/girlfriend and you two are long distance.
Many people don’t do well in this type of situation. But things may not go well if he met someone new either, so why would he say anything to you about it.
Something is going on with him, not you, so don’t blame yourself. But if you have plans to see him and still care about him, then go as long as he’s not making excuses for you not to come.
You two both seem to be doing the casual thing.
Usually when a man backs away they are busy with something or someone else.



I’m going to see him when I travel because our families know each other, so o can’t avoid him. I guess I understand that scenario. But it doesn’t make me feel any better lol. I still care about him, but I don’t feel secure in the connection anymore. I feel such a disconnect now. Even though he told me I don’t need to give him space, I have no desire to initiate contact anymore. Cause actions speak louder than words, and his actions made me feel like he was trying to give me a hint to remove myself.
click to expand



Honey! Is he the only man ever? You have him your heart without him asking for it. He is enjoying having you missing him. He is a free man in his head. So be a free woman.
click to expand



Lol you’re def right, he isn’t the only man and we are both free. It’s just that right now, my feelings are hurt. In hindsight, it’ll probably be meaningless.
click to expand



Your feelings hurt because you let him in and it wasn’t his fault. You both had a 2 single LDR people moments.
I am not sure what it means ‘caring’ about someone when you are in fact just 2 people who simply spent time talking while had nothing better to do. How was he ‘caring’ or IS caring about you and you claim you KNOW it?
What did he DO to show you he cared?
click to expand


You are so right, I don’t have the answers to those questions. He offered to pay for my ticket, I told him to save the $ $ for when I’m there to take me out. But, that’s the only reference I have.
click to expand

Listen, you seems like a very level headed woman who just got into difficult rship due to LDR. Trust me - in time all will fall into places and you will read your posts and smile.
For now - try to open your heart and eyes for other opportunities while closing your heart for this one. It’s one.
Another one is wait for the actual meeting with sober heart. See what’s what when you see him. Think how LDR will work in case you both are willing to be.
And third - have as much sex as you can with him or whomever you like. Find best dick with brains in an actual head and enjoy your future.
And your present. Just let it be what it is for now - much if nothing that doesn’t worth your hurt. ❤️
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Thank you!!!! ❤️ this really isn’t worth my hurt. I’m a Gemini so I really am fickle lol. But I like what you said about having a sober heart. I have a really hard time letting things just be, but at this point, it’s my best bet. I can’t go wrong with that one.
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Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Nabilah92
I explained that it's hard to be patient when things changed suddenly with no explanation and that it hurt my feelings.


Posted by Nabilah92
Our change in communication came up again (I brought it up) and he mentioned that he was working long hours and trying to put things in place before I came back to visit.
click to expand



He did give you an explanation, it just wasn't one you wanted to hear/accept.
click to expand

LadyNeptune! You've been giving me input for years.

I wouldn't say I didn't accept his explanation, I didn't accept this distance. Do you think I wasn't being understanding? Did I overreact? What really threw me off was when I told him I missed him and he ignored the message. It's just been super confusing for me.


click to expand
Its a long distance situationship. If you need more affection and communication and he is telling you he is unable or unwilling to give you that, then keep it moving.

I think the way he communicated with you about how busy he was and wanting to speak with you in person when you come was actually very mature and level headed.

That being said if your not fulfilled then your not fulfilled. There doesn't need to be a villain here. Its incompatibility.
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Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Nabilah92
I explained that it's hard to be patient when things changed suddenly with no explanation and that it hurt my feelings.



Posted by Nabilah92
Our change in communication came up again (I brought it up) and he mentioned that he was working long hours and trying to put things in place before I came back to visit.
click to expand



He did give you an explanation, it just wasn't one you wanted to hear/accept.
click to expand


LadyNeptune! You've been giving me input for years.
I wouldn't say I didn't accept his explanation, I didn't accept this distance. Do you think I wasn't being understanding? Did I overreact? What really threw me off was when I told him I missed him and he ignored the message. It's just been super confusing for me.

click to expand

Its a long distance situationship. If you need more affection and communication and he is telling you he is unable or unwilling to give you that, then keep it moving.
I think the way he communicated with you about how busy he was and wanting to speak with you in person when you come was actually very mature and level headed.
That being said if your not fulfilled then your not fulfilled. There doesn't need to be a villain here. Its incompatibility.
click to expand
"There doesn't need to be a villain here" I love that, it's so true. In situations of hurt, it's so much easier to have a villain. But I kind of hurt my own feelings with my expectations.
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Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Nabilah92
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by Nabilah92
I explained that it's hard to be patient when things changed suddenly with no explanation and that it hurt my feelings.



Posted by Nabilah92
Our change in communication came up again (I brought it up) and he mentioned that he was working long hours and trying to put things in place before I came back to visit.
click to expand



He did give you an explanation, it just wasn't one you wanted to hear/accept.
click to expand



LadyNeptune! You've been giving me input for years.
I wouldn't say I didn't accept his explanation, I didn't accept this distance. Do you think I wasn't being understanding? Did I overreact? What really threw me off was when I told him I missed him and he ignored the message. It's just been super confusing for me.
click to expand


Its a long distance situationship. If you need more affection and communication and he is telling you he is unable or unwilling to give you that, then keep it moving.
I think the way he communicated with you about how busy he was and wanting to speak with you in person when you come was actually very mature and level headed.
That being said if your not fulfilled then your not fulfilled. There doesn't need to be a villain here. Its incompatibility.
click to expand

"There doesn't need to be a villain here" I love that, it's so true. In situations of hurt, it's so much easier to have a villain. But I kind of hurt my own feelings with my expectations.
click to expand
That was the biggest lesson I learned in 2022. But with friendships and having even subconscious expectations and feeling dissatisfaction and even hurt when they weren’t met.
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that's how chris watts started acting when he was having an affair

i think it's very weird when a taurus starts being distant coz i have this impression that they're a very obssessive sign at least in the romantic sense

my own taurus cousin started doing the same thing to her cancer bf when she finally met the gemini who'd become her husband

i think they wanna come off like a nice guy/gal by just not being forward about no longer being interested in you + the grass is greener mentality
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