Shit! My bf is a Bisexual :O

Yesterday, my bf told me he is a Bisexual. My reaction was like 'eeeerrr, seriously?'

We've been dating in almost a month now, but he just told me this yesterday. I asked him why he didnt tell me earlier, then he said, well I didn't think it was a big deal.

I'm was so surprised. I've never dated a man who also likes men. After he told me that. I kept saying 'Omg, omg' the rest of the day. Am I over reacting? I feel like he's not The Man after he told me that, with the thought that he can like boys. It's so unusual. I feel so strange.

Most of his ex-es were girls, but he also had a bf. I didnt want to disrespect him, so I said ohhh ok,ok. But in my head 'what the F is happening!!!'

He said personality is more important than the gender, and he felt for my personality. But I'm thinking Yes, Gender is important, I cant sleep with a girl eventhough I can say Damn, that as or She's soo sexy ect. But to be in a relationship? Never!!!! I dont understand what the heck Bisexuality is standing for. You either like girls or boys, you cant like both, romantically speaking. It's either black or white, there's no grey.

Ok, I might be over reacting. I still love him though, and we have good sex and relationship, but still... Its so strange. I dont know what/how I feel. Can anyone explain what this feeling is?

No, he seemed like a normal guy, I mean the way he dresses/talks/sex ect.

Yikes !

Its kind of sexy when a girl is bisexual. But when a boy is,,, hmmm.

The thought if he's 50% gay kills me.

@geminicandle

He's Aries with scorpio moon and venus in Aries.
I'm Gemini with virgo moon and venus in Aries too.

You've been dating almost a month and you love him, have great sex, and are wondering why he never told you? Hello? It's been less than a month.

I'm also missing why you think it's a big deal. He's with you, nobody else, right?

It's strange for me just the thought of he's 50% gay.

I like masculine men, I dont mean the body, but the thought, the way he is. I like it manly, but as I've said the thought of he's 50% gay, kills me a little bit.

I told about this to my friend, and her reaction was ' what the heck?'
And I told my elder sister, and she said 'Ew'. So I dont think I'm not alone.

I love him, but love is love. This shit is something else -_-

@geminicandle

I'm 20 and he's 19

It's incredible how narrow-minded and immature people are even today... The fact that this man is attracted to both sexes is disgusting? Really? How, exactly? Are you disgusted by a man who has slept with other women without a condom before he slept with you? No. Bisexual men aren't the disgusting ones...it's people with these outdated and ignorant views on them who are.
And don't even get me started on that "health consequences" comment, or "he might leave you for another man"... jesus christ. horrid! stop perpetuating this ignorant, outdated crap!

You're a month in. It's still early, he told you because he sees you two getting closer? Although this is not the same thing, my husband told me a few personal things about him after we dated for a few months, it wasn't your situation, but he wanted me to know "deal breakers". Personally, I would cut off the romantic aspect of the relationship because I don't want a partner on the "down low". As a friend, ok. When I was dating my first three questions were:

Are you married?
Do you have a criminal record?
Are you on the down-low?

Posted by Maybelle
It's strange for me just the thought of he's 50% gay.

I like masculine men, I dont mean the body, but the thought, the way he is. I like it manly, but as I've said the thought of he's 50% gay, kills me a little bit.

I told about this to my friend, and her reaction was ' what the heck?'
And I told my elder sister, and she said 'Ew'. So I dont think I'm not alone.

I love him, but love is love. This shit is something else -_-

he's not "50% gay." he is bisexual. There is a whole range of sexuallities, and he may lean toward one side more than the other, but there is no such thing as 50% gay.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
lol I love straight people

I'm sure you have straight friends and know we are not all this....what's a nice, diplomatic, PC word to use ...

Whatver if I'm narow minded or not. I dont mind having gays/bisexual/lesbian friends. But to be my husband, this is just too strange for me. I've never been in a relationship like this. This is just too damn strange for me.

Posted by pathfinder
You're a month in. It's still early, he told you because he sees you two getting closer? Although this is not the same thing, my husband told me a few personal things about him after we dated for a few months, it wasn't your situation, but he wanted me to know "deal breakers". Personally, I would cut off the romantic aspect of the relationship because I don't want a partner on the "down low". As a friend, ok. When I was dating my first three questions were:

Are you married?
Do you have a criminal record?
Are you on the down-low?

This i can understand, but men who are on the down-low are usually just using women as a cover-up and are actually gay, IME. If he's truly interested in his girlfriend, he won't be on the down-low, unless he's just a cheater. In that case he'd be running around with men AND women behind his girl's back and orientation makes no difference.

If you are hetero then why would you want to be with someone who is not? At 20 why even consider this.

I told my girl I'm straight,
there's plenty fish in the sea and I'm bait.
~Little Wayne

YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM AFTER 1 MONTH. If you want to stay cool but you do not love him. You just made a whole thread about checking his phone and him flirting with other women.

What about then men that come after him? I think they would have a problem with knowing this.

@aurora

Well he sucked a cock.

Attraction is something else, i like to look at girls,feel the beauty and the shape but I cant lick her pussy.

Sorry for my bad language, but this is what I had in my mind.

I get it, you're young- i'm in my early 20s too- and there is a lot of false information about sexuality, mostly dated ideas that won't die. But those dated ideas are the source of your discomfort-not anything logical or reasonable, really. If it is going to bother you, though, the right thing to do would be to end it now before he really gets hurt when you're still having trouble with this down the line.

@geminicandle

Thank you my fellow gem ??_

I think I'm just over reacting alittle bit, I will take time and see how it goes.
And thanks again for your wish.

@Nala13

Nice that you still remember my threat.

Posted by Maybelle
@aurora

Well he sucked a cock.

Attraction is something else, i like to look at girls,feel the beauty and the shape but I cant lick her pussy.

Sorry for my bad language, but this is what I had in my mind.

it wouldn't bother you if he performed oral sex on another woman, would it? he had his mouth on another sexual organ before being with you either way, right? This is why i say this is all completely illogical. Pair all this with the fact that it's only been a month and this "problem" has come up right after you apparently caught him flirting with other women-not even men- and i'd say this is far from love and probably needs to end now.

I dated a bi-sexual once...but I think I knew he was one before I got into the relationship. Was still weird though. Don't think I could handle dating another one.

@ANRivas

We have everything we need, love,friendship,sex,future. But I dont like the feeling I'm feeling now. I dont know what it is. I dont know what is right or what is wrong.

But I guess I as usual let the time speak and either follow my heart or my brain.

Posted by Scorsagian21
I couldn't be in that relationship...I would be too grossed out.

same here. You just know if a man is straight or not. Gaydar.

good thing i have my gay relatives to tell me. they have instant "gaydar"...they just "know"...

I honestly do get it. It's not what's "traditional", and it's not what you expected, and even in today's world, it's something that most straight people-who aren't surrounded by queens like i am lol- won't fully understand. What you're feeling is a small dose of what a parent who finds out their child is gay feels; there is the person they pictured, the child they thought they had, and then that child "dies" as some say when they come out. You thought your man was one way, and now you see him as a different person. Now, all you can do is determine whether this will keep being a problem for you...i agree that your decision shouldn't be rushed, but at the same time you don't want to waste your time or his if you can't really accept him.

OP, there is that story of Gavin Rossdale/Gwen Stefani that I remember on the celebrity news. It was "his past" and it shouldn't matter, but Gwen Stefani was hurt that she didnt know during her marriage or something. But still, it shouldn't matter if he has left that past behind. If you love your man, you love him for who he is, bisexual or not. He has left that part of him to be with you.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
lol I love straight people

Prince, would you seriously date a bi-sexual man?

Posted by lisabethur8
OP, ... If you love your man, you love him for who he is, bisexual or not. He has left that part of him to be with you.

He is no longer bi-sexual? I missed that...

@ANRivas

''Pair all this with the fact that it's only been a month and this "problem" has come up right after you apparently caught him flirting with other women-not even men- and i'd say this is far from love and probably needs to end now.''



You're being mean now. Well as everyone else I've got my own problems. I might complain or talk my mind out, but one thing; I dont end relationships easily.

I dont know what's up with you and bisexuality. But you said "this is far from love, then define the meaning of "love".

Sorry for being rude, but I meant it.

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by lisabethur8
OP, ... If you love your man, you love him for who he is, bisexual or not. He has left that part of him to be with you.

He is no longer bi-sexual? I missed that...

click to expand

huh? i didnt say he was NO longer bisexual.

i was just stating that it shouldn't matter if it's past. That's why when i read that celebrity news of Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale, i thought, well, it's his past. He didnt marry that other guy or stay with him. He is with her now. that's what matters.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1320627/Gwen-Stefanis-husband-Gavin-Rossdales-gay-confession-years-late-says-Marilyn.html

Posted by maelstrom
Two of my male exes were bisexual, but also exclusive, i.e. in a relationship with me they weren't indulging in peen on the side. It's just about being open to different individuals and accepting them holistically, and I respect that - it's not necessarily about wanting both genders simultaneously. And even if it were, who's to say you couldn't use that to your full advantage 😛 lulz

To be honest with you though it actually became a source of contention towards the end of both of those relationships, when they were discovering that they might actually just be *gay* (maybe I turned them, idk)... But I think this is an issue with *some* guys who purport to be bisexual. They're really just gay and "easing" into it by claiming the bi label during limbo. Not all of course, but some for sure.

I can understand this, esp. if they are very young like the OP's love interest. Sometimes it's just curiousity.

Posted by maelstrom


To be honest with you though it actually became a source of contention towards the end of both of those relationships, when they were discovering that they might actually just be *gay* (maybe I turned them, idk)... But I think this is an issue with *some* guys who purport to be bisexual. They're really just gay and "easing" into it by claiming the bi label during limbo. Not all of course, but some for sure.

Yes!! that is the only real problem; some-not ALL- men who claim to be bi are gay and unwilling to accept it or on the down-low and using women as cover-ups.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by pathfinder

Posted by lisabethur8
OP, ... If you love your man, you love him for who he is, bisexual or not. He has left that part of him to be with you.

He is no longer bi-sexual? I missed that...

huh? i didnt say he was NO longer bisexual.

i was just stating that it shouldn't matter if it's past. That's why when i read that celebrity news of Gwen Stefani/Gavin Rossdale, i thought, well, it's his past. He didnt marry that other guy or stay with him. He is with her now. that's what matters.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1320627/Gwen-Stefanis-husband-Gavin-Rossdales-gay-confession-years-late-says-Marilyn.html

But it's not past. So it does matter.

Posted by Maybelle
Yesterday, my bf told me he is a Bisexual. My reaction was like 'eeeerrr, seriously?'

We've been dating in almost a month now, but he just told me this yesterday. I asked him why he didnt tell me earlier, then he said, well I didn't think it was a big deal.

click to expand

i dont get it. Is he cheating on her NOW? i mean, is the "other man" there as a side piece?

@robyn808

Yes I'm also afraid that he's not attracted to me. I mean, do you like my as or do you prefer a d*ck?

I'm being chiddish now, but I mean it, this is what I have in my mind.

Omg, so confusing. Why me, what happened to the world? *Talking to myself*

Posted by Maybelle
@ANRivas

''Pair all this with the fact that it's only been a month and this "problem" has come up right after you apparently caught him flirting with other women-not even men- and i'd say this is far from love and probably needs to end now.''



You're being mean now. Well as everyone else I've got my own problems. I might complain or talk my mind out, but one thing; I dont end relationships easily.

I dont know what's up with you and bisexuality. But you said "this is far from love, then define the meaning of "love".

Sorry for being rude, but I meant it.

I'm sorry if that came off as mean, as i didn't mean it to, but i meant what i said too. I did not read your other thread, but if you are already going through his phone(was that before or after finding out he was bi?), catching him flirting with other women, and having issues with his sexuality... This many issues only a month into a relationship does not sound like a good situation from the outside looking in. Of course, i said that before you mentioned that everything else was great, and i'd only seen negatives up to that point. And there is nothing up with me and bisexuality, just misunderstandings about sexuality in general as i've studied them quite a bit and they affect many of my friends.
My definition of love includes many things, and one of them is knowing the person you are in love with, which really isn't possible after only a month...i'm not saying this can't turn into love, but it's highly unlikely that it is now. my gemini friends think they are in love every week so i know how this goes! lol

@jynja

You got the point there! And I do agree.

I didnt complain about him, I was telling about my "strange" feeling. It's easy for you to say, but you'll fully understand what I meant when/if you get a lover who is attracted to the same sex.

I do not blame him. I do not complain about his attration and I do not judge him. I'm just analysing my feelings, and sharing it with you guys.

Ok. Call me narrow-minded or childdish, I have no problem accepting opinions.

But if you think from my side 'my bf sucking a D*ck' its just so different, strange, eww and 'what the F'.

Thats it -_-

Posted by scorchedearth
he could do a hell of a lot better than some close minded bigoted fuckface of a woman who thinks he's less of a man because he likes men too.

i'll never understand why straight women are so afraid of bisexuals. you're just as bad as the lesbians who hate bisexual women.

if he was going to cheat on you or leave you for someone else he's just a douchebag in general. it wouldn't matter if it was a man or a woman. he's still be gone.

if he hasn't shown any signs of taking off then why worry about it? if he is showing you signs that he'll cheat you should bail anyway regardless of what gender he's flirting with.

how is this difficult? if it's a deal breaker then break up with him and go find someone else who fits into your mold of what a man actually is. and let him find someone that will love him for him without going on the internet making fun of him acting disgusted because of his exs.

try calling me mean after this one OP!!! 😛
i mean i agree but...with nicer words...lol

I agree @herself. If you have a good relationship and good sex, be glad he felt comfortable enough with you to tell you. he must really trust and care for you. I don't know many guys that would tell you something like that. His confidence is sexy. Don't worry, he is excited over you, he's probably happy with himself.

also, i don't think you are a terrible person...just someone in a situation you don't understand.

@scorchedearth

You made me feel bad. I wasnt intending on making fun of him on internet, eventhough it looks like it.
Well, at least I got some opinions.

It is just so new for me and I had to speak out my mind.

@jynja

Thank you for the advise.

@geminiloveleo

Yes, I think so too. He must be very comfortable with me and told me about his personal. He's pretty open too. I'm just confused. But I wont change the way I feel for him and the way I treat him eventhough he's bisexual.

@scorchedearth

Thank you for making my mind clearer.

As I've said it was so unsusual for me, but it doesnt mean that me feelings will change so easily. I belive love is bigger than anything else.
And cheating is more scarier than bisexuality problem. As long as he's not less a man, I dont mind anything about his attraction. Because I like sexy masculine guys 😛 hehe

Posted by Mr. Defense
Nothing against gay people, but any guy who would pull his dick out in the presence of another man, and be aroused has something in his head that isn't working right. People don't realize that being a gay man is a huge mental jump. Men are turned off by other men, so the fact that another man turns him on in some way, means he's going to be very weird.

so you made a mental choice to be attracted to women? That means that had someone had taught you to like men instead, you'd be aroused by dicks right now too, right?
STRAIGHT men are turned off by other men. Gay men and bisexual men are not. Men have been attracted to other men for as long as there have been humans, and other species without the capacity to make a "huge mental jump" have gay males. It would be a huge jump for YOU as a straight man, but not all men are like you.

@Mr. Defense

Wow your words are strong. I do agree with you, and I know what you mean, because its what I have in my mind.

But I already have feelings for him, I cant just dump him because he's bisexual, its not that easy. At least, he's not gay. He likes me.

I have no problem on ppl who are gays,lesbians or what so ever it is. But this man is my man, and I want a 100% man, thats why I'm so confused.

But as I said, my feelings for him cant change that easily.

Posted by Mr. Defense
To the OP, that guy probably isn't gay, he probably just wants attention. Seems like being gay is a fad amongst young people today. Probably a phase more than likely. But you should probably dump him for being weak and impressionable.

So is it a huge mental jump that's completely unnatural or is it such a small jump that guys would be bisexual just because it is popular? Both can't be true. It's not a fad, you're just hearing about it more because more people are accepting of the fact that there is more than one sexual orientation and gay/bi people aren't as fearful of coming out. There were just as many gay people even a century ago, but fear of being completely outcast or even killed kept everyone quiet.

Posted by scorchedearth
it's really kind of pointless arguing with mr. defense. he is against interracial dating too. just really a close minded bigoted individual.

wow...well then, nevermind...interracial dating? really?! I guess the archie bunker picture should've clued me in though LOL

@MELLY,

I dated a tauri guy who came out to me and I didnt judge him. Instead I supported him in exploring this side of his sexuality and being there 4 him emotionally.

@jynja

Very funny *aplause*