Cancer man never takes initiative?

Posted by DMV

Have you said to him in a joking manner

“You can text or call me ya know. You won’t ever his my voicemail.”

Something to give him reassurance that he CAN initiate.

If he still is shy and not making the effort. Tell him that you require more effort from him. If he gets defensive, split

Posted by bmoon8

Maybe stop contacting him altogether and see if he ever initiates?

Posted by LadyNeptune

I don't agree that you should stop contacting him and suddenly assuming a passive roll. That's going to send the message that you are uninterested. Especially as you've said your always the one to initiate so far.

Perhaps he, understandably so, is under the impression you prefer to be the initiator as that is what you've shown him in the time you've been dating.

Just tell him you'd like him to plan the next date, and your free on x, y, and z days coming up. Then sit back and let him step up.

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

I don't agree that you should stop contacting him and suddenly assuming a passive roll. That's going to send the message that you are uninterested. Especially as you've said your always the one to initiate so far.

Perhaps he, understandably so, is under the impression you prefer to be the initiator as that is what you've shown him in the time you've been dating.

Just tell him you'd like him to plan the next date, and your free on x, y, and z days coming up. Then sit back and let him step up.

After a month, I think I’ve accepted that I’m driving the bus here. Every time I suggest a date, he very enthusiastically accepts. If that’s how I’m going to spend time with him, then that’s fine. Maybe I’m just so used to the traditional role of the man being the pursuer that I’m just not used to this new paradigm. I’ve read in many places that cancer man prefers to be the passive one in the relationship, and likes a bold woman who takes charge. It’s just a tricky spot because I don’t want to push him, but if I want to see him and spend time with him – which I always do, as a Libra Woman — then I need to be the one suggesting plans. I did talk to him about initiating texts, and he just explained that’s his thing and he’s gotten criticized for it before. But he’s actually really stepped up and made much more of an effort to reach out to me first, which I appreciate.

click to expand

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

I don't agree that you should stop contacting him and suddenly assuming a passive roll. That's going to send the message that you are uninterested. Especially as you've said your always the one to initiate so far.

Perhaps he, understandably so, is under the impression you prefer to be the initiator as that is what you've shown him in the time you've been dating.

Just tell him you'd like him to plan the next date, and your free on x, y, and z days coming up. Then sit back and let him step up.

After a month, I think I’ve accepted that I’m driving the bus here. Every time I suggest a date, he very enthusiastically accepts. If that’s how I’m going to spend time with him, then that’s fine. Maybe I’m just so used to the traditional role of the man being the pursuer that I’m just not used to this new paradigm. I’ve read in many places that cancer man prefers to be the passive one in the relationship, and likes a bold woman who takes charge. It’s just a tricky spot because I don’t want to push him, but if I want to see him and spend time with him – which I always do, as a Libra Woman — then I need to be the one suggesting plans. I did talk to him about initiating texts, and he just explained that’s his thing and he’s gotten criticized for it before. But he’s actually really stepped up and made much more of an effort to reach out to me first, which I appreciate.

Perfect! So you've already communicated with him about initiating communication (texts) and he has made an effort. He likes you! Usually you have to say it a few times before it sinks in. He received your critique without retreating into his shell and catching an attitude.

So apply that same approach here. Let him know that while you do enjoy planning outings for the two of you, you would love it if he could take control and do so once in awhile. Give him the permission to do so.

Be bold! If you can take his dick in your body you certainly can tell him what you want out of the bedroom. (Crass I know, but true).

I'd also throw out all the generalizations you've been reading about Cancer men. Don't rely to heavily on that. He will show you who he is more than embittered strangers online.

click to expand

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

I don't agree that you should stop contacting him and suddenly assuming a passive roll. That's going to send the message that you are uninterested. Especially as you've said your always the one to initiate so far.

Perhaps he, understandably so, is under the impression you prefer to be the initiator as that is what you've shown him in the time you've been dating.

Just tell him you'd like him to plan the next date, and your free on x, y, and z days coming up. Then sit back and let him step up.

After a month, I think I’ve accepted that I’m driving the bus here. Every time I suggest a date, he very enthusiastically accepts. If that’s how I’m going to spend time with him, then that’s fine. Maybe I’m just so used to the traditional role of the man being the pursuer that I’m just not used to this new paradigm. I’ve read in many places that cancer man prefers to be the passive one in the relationship, and likes a bold woman who takes charge. It’s just a tricky spot because I don’t want to push him, but if I want to see him and spend time with him – which I always do, as a Libra Woman — then I need to be the one suggesting plans. I did talk to him about initiating texts, and he just explained that’s his thing and he’s gotten criticized for it before. But he’s actually really stepped up and made much more of an effort to reach out to me first, which I appreciate.

Perfect! So you've already communicated with him about initiating communication (texts) and he has made an effort. He likes you! Usually you have to say it a few times before it sinks in. He received your critique without retreating into his shell and catching an attitude.

So apply that same approach here. Let him know that while you do enjoy planning outings for the two of you, you would love it if he could take control and do so once in awhile. Give him the permission to do so.

Be bold! If you can take his dick in your body you certainly can tell him what you want out of the bedroom. (Crass I know, but true).

I'd also throw out all the generalizations you've been reading about Cancer men. Don't rely to heavily on that. He will show you who he is more than embittered strangers online.

We have our next date on Tuesday night, which I suggested of course, LOL. I’ll probably mention this to him then. He’s been very good about accepting my communication of my needs. I tried flirting with him while I was out of town last week, and he didn’t really reciprocate. It’s been like that for a couple of weeks, and it’s almost like he’s afraid to say anything that might give me the impression that he likes me. I’ve sent him a few sexy/racy photos that were a little more artsy – black-and-white – which is very vulnerable for me as a wheelchair user. He complimented them for the artistic quality and made no comment about me being sexy or pretty or anything. I’m like, seriously? You love the black-and-white contrast, but you can’t give me a compliment on my body? Every time I sent him (normal) photos of me, he would just say something like, looking good! I finally just told him, please for the love of God, just tell me I’m pretty. Looking good is something you would tell your kid after throwing a good pass at football practice. Then he *finally* told me I looked beautiful. He was SO free with the compliments the first week. I mean, GUSHING over me, but after we agreed to slow it down, he just can’t seem to let one go. It sucks because the Sexting was so heavy in the first week and I loved it SO much. I told him that it makes me feel a bit rejected when my efforts to flirt or sext aren’t reciprocated, and emphasized how much I enjoy doing that with him. I make it all about me and how good it makes me feel when he does certain things as opposed to criticizing anything he does or doesn’t do. That seems to be working.

click to expand

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

I don't agree that you should stop contacting him and suddenly assuming a passive roll. That's going to send the message that you are uninterested. Especially as you've said your always the one to initiate so far.

Perhaps he, understandably so, is under the impression you prefer to be the initiator as that is what you've shown him in the time you've been dating.

Just tell him you'd like him to plan the next date, and your free on x, y, and z days coming up. Then sit back and let him step up.

After a month, I think I’ve accepted that I’m driving the bus here. Every time I suggest a date, he very enthusiastically accepts. If that’s how I’m going to spend time with him, then that’s fine. Maybe I’m just so used to the traditional role of the man being the pursuer that I’m just not used to this new paradigm. I’ve read in many places that cancer man prefers to be the passive one in the relationship, and likes a bold woman who takes charge. It’s just a tricky spot because I don’t want to push him, but if I want to see him and spend time with him – which I always do, as a Libra Woman — then I need to be the one suggesting plans. I did talk to him about initiating texts, and he just explained that’s his thing and he’s gotten criticized for it before. But he’s actually really stepped up and made much more of an effort to reach out to me first, which I appreciate.

Perfect! So you've already communicated with him about initiating communication (texts) and he has made an effort. He likes you! Usually you have to say it a few times before it sinks in. He received your critique without retreating into his shell and catching an attitude.

So apply that same approach here. Let him know that while you do enjoy planning outings for the two of you, you would love it if he could take control and do so once in awhile. Give him the permission to do so.

Be bold! If you can take his dick in your body you certainly can tell him what you want out of the bedroom. (Crass I know, but true).

I'd also throw out all the generalizations you've been reading about Cancer men. Don't rely to heavily on that. He will show you who he is more than embittered strangers online.

We have our next date on Tuesday night, which I suggested of course, LOL. I’ll probably mention this to him then. He’s been very good about accepting my communication of my needs. I tried flirting with him while I was out of town last week, and he didn’t really reciprocate. It’s been like that for a couple of weeks, and it’s almost like he’s afraid to say anything that might give me the impression that he likes me. I’ve sent him a few sexy/racy photos that were a little more artsy – black-and-white – which is very vulnerable for me as a wheelchair user. He complimented them for the artistic quality and made no comment about me being sexy or pretty or anything. I’m like, seriously? You love the black-and-white contrast, but you can’t give me a compliment on my body? Every time I sent him (normal) photos of me, he would just say something like, looking good! I finally just told him, please for the love of God, just tell me I’m pretty. Looking good is something you would tell your kid after throwing a good pass at football practice. Then he *finally* told me I looked beautiful. He was SO free with the compliments the first week. I mean, GUSHING over me, but after we agreed to slow it down, he just can’t seem to let one go. It sucks because the Sexting was so heavy in the first week and I loved it SO much. I told him that it makes me feel a bit rejected when my efforts to flirt or sext aren’t reciprocated, and emphasized how much I enjoy doing that with him. I make it all about me and how good it makes me feel when he does certain things as opposed to criticizing anything he does or doesn’t do. That seems to be working.

Do you pay for the dates since you suggested them?

click to expand

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Indigo1974

Posted by LadyNeptune

I don't agree that you should stop contacting him and suddenly assuming a passive roll. That's going to send the message that you are uninterested. Especially as you've said your always the one to initiate so far.

Perhaps he, understandably so, is under the impression you prefer to be the initiator as that is what you've shown him in the time you've been dating.

Just tell him you'd like him to plan the next date, and your free on x, y, and z days coming up. Then sit back and let him step up.

After a month, I think I’ve accepted that I’m driving the bus here. Every time I suggest a date, he very enthusiastically accepts. If that’s how I’m going to spend time with him, then that’s fine. Maybe I’m just so used to the traditional role of the man being the pursuer that I’m just not used to this new paradigm. I’ve read in many places that cancer man prefers to be the passive one in the relationship, and likes a bold woman who takes charge. It’s just a tricky spot because I don’t want to push him, but if I want to see him and spend time with him – which I always do, as a Libra Woman — then I need to be the one suggesting plans. I did talk to him about initiating texts, and he just explained that’s his thing and he’s gotten criticized for it before. But he’s actually really stepped up and made much more of an effort to reach out to me first, which I appreciate.

Perfect! So you've already communicated with him about initiating communication (texts) and he has made an effort. He likes you! Usually you have to say it a few times before it sinks in. He received your critique without retreating into his shell and catching an attitude.

So apply that same approach here. Let him know that while you do enjoy planning outings for the two of you, you would love it if he could take control and do so once in awhile. Give him the permission to do so.

Be bold! If you can take his dick in your body you certainly can tell him what you want out of the bedroom. (Crass I know, but true).

I'd also throw out all the generalizations you've been reading about Cancer men. Don't rely to heavily on that. He will show you who he is more than embittered strangers online.

We have our next date on Tuesday night, which I suggested of course, LOL. I’ll probably mention this to him then. He’s been very good about accepting my communication of my needs. I tried flirting with him while I was out of town last week, and he didn’t really reciprocate. It’s been like that for a couple of weeks, and it’s almost like he’s afraid to say anything that might give me the impression that he likes me. I’ve sent him a few sexy/racy photos that were a little more artsy – black-and-white – which is very vulnerable for me as a wheelchair user. He complimented them for the artistic quality and made no comment about me being sexy or pretty or anything. I’m like, seriously? You love the black-and-white contrast, but you can’t give me a compliment on my body? Every time I sent him (normal) photos of me, he would just say something like, looking good! I finally just told him, please for the love of God, just tell me I’m pretty. Looking good is something you would tell your kid after throwing a good pass at football practice. Then he *finally* told me I looked beautiful. He was SO free with the compliments the first week. I mean, GUSHING over me, but after we agreed to slow it down, he just can’t seem to let one go. It sucks because the Sexting was so heavy in the first week and I loved it SO much. I told him that it makes me feel a bit rejected when my efforts to flirt or sext aren’t reciprocated, and emphasized how much I enjoy doing that with him. I make it all about me and how good it makes me feel when he does certain things as opposed to criticizing anything he does or doesn’t do. That seems to be working.

Do you pay for the dates since you suggested them?

Let’s see...

He paid for everything on the first date, which he initiated. I paid for dinner on the second date since he paid for the first one. We did Uber eats delivery for our next dinner date since it started raining and ended up not going out, and it gets charged to my card although he was going to pay for the pizza had he picked it up on the way. I will be offering to at least split tomorrow night.

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Posted by Logger

Libra and Cancer male is a tough match. I've had a few, and for the most part, the make Cancer feel insecure, so they take a "wait and see" approach, and go with the flow. Libra is a touch aloof for Cancer male, but if you've been that close in the past, that should have given him reassurance that you weren't going anywhere. I'd think I'd proceed with caution if I were you, because it's possible he isn't as into you, as you are into him?