I got bad news Moloko...

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by cafrella on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 and has 54 replies.
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I just found out that he'll be finsshing work here at end of February...he told me yesterday that there might be a possiblitly... but it wasn't for sure, but this morning it's confirmed...
I was SHOCKED... I cried... he saw it... I don't know what to do...
Now i guess there's pressure on both of us... if we want to pursue what we have, what to do?
I'm at lost for words... I DONT" KNOW WHAT TO DO... what do you think?
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I really dont know cafrella, i dont know what else is involved, does that mean just leaving the company? or leaving and also movinf far away or something?
Im prob going to be off here for rest of today, need to go and format someones hard drive for them.
I hope your ok? wow, im not sure what you should do to be honest.
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no he's not moving away, he's just not going to work here same place as me... but we live in same town... I just won't SEE him everyday like i usually do... so that's why now if we want to keep this going... now we have no choice but to "talk" about it all... if we wish to pursue our friendship... you know.
He came to see me earlier but i was very busy and he tried talking, asking what i thought of it all that they let him go... and i didn't have the time so he went back to his desk... but he'll be here at work till end of February...
I guess I'm panicking... i dont't know what to do where to start...
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Hi cafrella, at this stage i will say go with your own inner thoughts and feelings, you will know what you want most and how to deal with it.
What ever your choice i wish you well and hope things turn out to your advantage and to the best.
Please let me know what happens if you feel ready to.
Good Luck Winking
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Hi Moloko,
Yesterday was a nerve wrecking day for both of us, he's nervous and i am too... he kept coming to see me, I think he wants to "talk" but we end up talking about anything but "us", but I'm pretty sure that's what he wants to get to...(90% sure! I hope?!) both he and I want to "know" that between us even though he won't be coming here to work anymore that there is still a "we" and that things can still move foward, our relationship moves forward
I think that's what the nervousness is all about...
I sent him an email before i left:
Well it was bad news today, once again? but somehow no surprise. I am so very sad and angry at same time, I guess there are things in life we have no control of, life isn?t always fair or the way we want it, and sometimes things happen for a reason we?re not always aware of? and I guess this is how life goes on, I think there?s a greater someone out there who is in control, and although I?ve built up some anger, even a little hatred towards ?some? people here, there isn?t much I can do but to leave vengeance to that greater someone?
You truly didn?t deserve this, they?re foolish to let you go, I?ve said it before I?ll say it again? it?s not everyday that you find something this good, this ?precious?, you were and still are one of the finest, best employees in this place - I don?t care what ?others? may say or think? that?s a fact! And there are some pretty sick, mean, devious, scheming, lying, cheating, pathetic people in this building ?because YOU were here, it exposed all of their ?bad? sides and so they had to get you out fast and they must be happy now, they succeeded, they?re getting you out ?.Urgh it makes me sooo sick, anyhow?
I had to hold all of it inside today, couldn?t start crying in front of Tilly? so I kept busy to keep my mind from thinking too much? but it?s hard for me, I?m extremely sad? this place will NEVER NEVER be the same without you? there will never be any sunshine anymore, it?s going to be very dark without you here? I don?t know what I?ll do, really?! It feels like losing an arm or a leg?it?s excruciating pain, but that?s only and because I?ve let a little something grow inside my heart, a little something which over the last two years has grown into something quite big, very big?it?s sooo big now I can?t get it out and that?s a very deep affection for you, which hasn?t changed, I cover this well, hide it, live with it? but it?s always there, always.
This whole month of January has been going particularly bad for me, everywhere I turn, everything is falling apart, going wrong?a month from hell, and now this bad news? Today is the 31st, I hope February is better, cause I don?t know how much more of this I can take? I?m exhausted, I truly am?
Well it?s time for me to go, I hope you have a nice evening, hang in there, I know you?re strong, in everyway! So strong and yet so sweet, tender? you?ve got it all, I mean that!
I haven?t said this in a while?and I miss it ? GOOD NITE HANDSOME!
See you tomorrow! Take care...
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Anyhow... in the next few days, weeks... things should either progress or just end... but from the looks of it... i think they will progress... I hope! fingers crossed!
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Hello cafrella, Its been going on for 2 years, your feelings towards each other?
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Well it started out slowly when he came to work here that's about 2 years ago... he was living with a woman back then but about a year after they split up... and even before he did that, "we" both could tell that "something" between us was happening... I opened up much quicker than he...(Cause you know Cancers how cautious they are) I wrote him things which "made it clear for him" that i DID like him and he told me "yes, I LIKE you too, but right now I'm attached and Im not quite available... but oh yes! I DO LIKE you he told me" then one day he announced that he had not been with her, that it was over.... so since then it escalated a little quicker... but nothing concrete has happened yet... he takes his time... me too...
and if you remember just before Xmas i was telling you "i can tell he wants to get closer and i too and we seem to be waiting on each other to actually set a dinner date"
and here we are today...
Why you asking this? You scare me now!?
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Now this morning he came in and said you know I was talking to Kris (his boss) and he told me I finish end of Feb but it could and most probably will continue a bit in March... so i said... Just work very sloooowly and maybe you'll be here till mid July! he smiled at me! he was on his way to his office and i was headed that way so i gently put my hand on his lower back and followed him down the hall and he stoped and gave me the warmest, cutest, tender... almost sad a bit like, smile of all! I almost fell to the ground! I WISH he could stay here forever! I hate this
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I scare you?
smile
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Hey! stop that you! *grin* (I wish i had smiley faces like you do they're cute)
Well yeah you say :
Its been going on for 2 years, your feelings towards each other?
and don't say nothing else after?!
Go on now..... what are you going to say to meeeee?! and stop scaring me! LOL
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Talk to me Moloko! *grin*
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Plllleeeeeeease!
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Give him your phone number and tell tell him to keep in touch if anything else,play "friend" angle if your still too nervous to go straight out and "move it up" in dating or whatever at the least.
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Oh no, i was just impressed by it, its nice, it shows theres really something there bewtween you both. smile
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I think we're both scared of losing each other... before he leaves here we BOTH want to be sure that "it's set up" that we'll be seeing each other, calling each other...
it's so funny cause we're sooo much just "on the verge" all it needs is one little tiny tiny push and everthing would escalate after, we'd be on a roll!
Now that i feel the pressure to move on, i guess he does too... when he told me this morning that he would be here a little later than end of February... it felt like he was saying "we still have time, even a little more than I thought" anyhow I'll have no choice but to be the one to give that push... it's too tiring to wait and wait and wait.... it drrrrrives me crazy!
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Yes there is something there... it's just on "the verge" that's driving me nuts!
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He's been around me ALL day, he keeps coming to see me "just" to talk... there are some quiet, silent moments even and either one of us talks and IT'S JUST NOT COMING OUT.... it's crazy! I know why he comes around... but he CANT start it?!
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Through my experience as a cancer i must say that i would suggest you taking the plunge and starting it rolling, there is a chance he will let it slip by him, he most likely wont want to but well, im just going by how ive actedin the past, some gems have slipped by in my life because i didn't grab them.
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what you mean is that... there's a chance he may NEVER go for it, find the nerve to take the plunge himself? he would let me "slip" out of his life just because he can't find it in himself to do this?!
is that what you're telling me? So you've gone through similar "strong" bonds like the one he & I have and you just never had the "guts" to plunge and grab the "gem"!?
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I think i will take the plunge it's just a matter of time... when the time is right... I think by end of next week... cards will be on table and well it'll either be super, amazing, out of this world feeling... or it will be the END of it all...
I dont think it will end, i hope not... but there's a small tiny chance it could... I doubt very much that he'd be around me so much these days JUST to try to tell me that it's over, he's stay away from me, afraid, not knowing how to tell me the bad news... SO i kind of figure that what he feels is positive and he wishes to continue... it's JUST the FEELING i'm getting from it all... so therefore I will risk taking the PLUNGE!
I wish someone could "Guarantee" me a positive answer from it all... it's so hard to do this, you have no idea the pressure i'm feeling...
it might all worth it!? I'll soon find out i gues...
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thank you very much for you support Moloko, i appreciate VERY much! you've been a great help! thank you!
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Wow if things do work out, i guess you may have a party for all yourself down there! I know you'll be sooo happy for me!
I will keep you posted dear!
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Yes, he may let you slip, just bacause he cant bring himself to take the step forward, yes ive been through the same situations a number of times and let them pass me because i was scared at the time to make that crucial move.
Unfortunately no one can "Guarantee" a positive answer but you wont know if you dont try.
Hmm, who am i to tell you that, lol, im a cancer too, i guess its because i know how many of us cancers can act at times, so i guess that why i mentioning this.
I can see the situation through his eyes if you know what i mean, as a cancer.
I will be happy for you cafrella, i wont wish luck this time, its not about luck, we are all in control of our situations, your decisions and actions create the outcome.
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Good morning Moloko!
HOpe you're doing well? I'm doing great, and hopefully I'll be ever better by the end of the week, this week is the week! I'm going for it! That's right, we ARE in control of our situations!
Yes you're a Cancer! and you've been a great little helper for me! Thank you for your help, for your patience too! You must think sometimes..."what's wrong with that Leo woman!" I wouldn't blame you!
Anyhow I will let you know what happens! I don't know why i'm so scared, deep deep down I KNOW he wants this as much as I do... but still i guess we're all scared of rejection! ANyhow I'm taking the plunge this week,I mean his days are numbered here, so I've got to move ASAP and not let him slip through my fingers right?!!!
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Hello Cafrella, im doing well thanks, glad you are too, im glad your going for it.
Nah im not thinking anything bad of you, noticing some similarities of how you do things as other leos do though, lol
Your right, go for it asap Winking
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Yeah?! The way i'm acting, reacting with this whole situation is Leo-like?! I thought Leos were direct and went after what they wanted! Most of the time I DO! but in this case, i'm not sure what happened to me?!
What Leo traits do you see in me?! Hope they're the good ones at least! LOL
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Even if they're bad... go ahead! I need to heart it!
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Well mostly how you just say things.
You ask how people are and answer how you are before they got the chance to ask you.
You say you know the other person likes you ( this is so like all the other leos ive met) i also have 2 female leo cousins.
You used the word "Dear" and possibly another that rang bells from other leos ive known, lol
Long term, dragged out, stretching over a few years but not quite official seems quite common with Leos too.
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You say you know the other person likes you
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THAT'S NOT GOOD? OK SO I DONT KNOW FOR SURE, BUT I CAN SEE IT, FEEL IT SO I SAY "HE DOES LIKE ME"
You ask how people are and answer how you are before they got the chance to ask you
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WELL I JUST THINK IT'S THE POLITE THING TO DO TO ASK HOW YOU ARE? AND IN THIS CASE I TELL YOU HOW I AM BECAUSE WELL WE'RE SO FAR APART, IF YOU WERE HERE IN PERSON, THEN I'D OBVIOUSLY WAIT FOR YOU TO ASK!!
I don't think that any of this is bad though? Riiiight?! *grin*
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Long term, dragged out, stretching over a few years but not quite official seems quite common with Leos too
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THAT... I'M NOT SURE! THIS SITUATION OF MINE, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED... BUT YES IT;S TAKING VERY LONG... BUT IN GENERAL I DON'T THINK THIS IS A PROBLEM THAT I'D HAVE...
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None of it is criticism Winking just i noticed lots of classic ways of Leos, but im not generalizing though, i know your all unique in your own ways, well we all are. Winking
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Yes we are!! I am and you are too! You're a sweetie!
Is THAT a word Leos use too!? *wink*
But i mean it! you are a sweetie! okay?! *grin*
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Yes, both Sweetie and Dear are commonly used by the Leos i meet, lol
Cheers, i gotta love the craftiness of a Leo, their able to turn the situation around in their favour, cheeky and pushy, but entertaining all the same. Winking
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Yes I'm entertaining! I am a whole lot of fun to be with (good clean fun!) USUALLY (unless someone pisses me off!) always in a good mood, cheery, positive... That's why he started calling me Sunshine! Whenever he was down, having a bad day... I've always cheered him up!
Anyhow... have a great day! or rest of the day! it's afternoon for you! me it's morning! 9:15am!! and i'm waiting for my handsome little cancer to come in!!
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Have a great day too cafrella, hey your actually talking to someone in the future, when you think about it, lol
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Yes I guess you're ahead of me all the time! *Grin*
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Something i read on the internet which i thought was interesting!!
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The people born under the sign of cancer are very timid and are afraid of refusal more, than all other marks even summarized together. However, they are ambitious . Their way to success is similar with their symbol Cancer. They advance slow towards their aim, and then at the most unexpected moment they grasp the victim and just like a cancer strong holding it and do not let off. The moon operates the woman, and the men - cancer are not very aggressive in love . However, they create an attractive facade of naivety, that compels the woman to make the first step.
it's amazing how spot on this one is!
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Many cancers will also pretend that their not interested in someone in order to let their rivals think that their not any threat, but secretly cancers is working their little plan, most people are utterly gobsmacked when a cancers suddenly makes their move and grab what they wanted all along.
I know its a confusing and at times sneaky way that we work, but it gets results i think, it works most of the time, not all the time of course, as some time a cancer can hold back too long and another more fiesty sign may come up and grab the prize first.
I can say for myself that i am ambitiuos, most definately.
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Perhaps that's what he's doing today? playing uninterested... it's 1:pm, and i have not heard from him, not see him? He could at least call! I thought of calling but what if he's in the middle of something?! I'm at reception here and suppose to know where everyone is! who's in, not in... when they're coming in... Geez! I don't know what the heck happened to him?! I'm a little annoyed, just a tad...
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Perhaps this is to see if I'll call looking for him or something.. to see how and if I'm worried at all... THAT i don't like though, i don't like games...
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oh now 1:31 he comes in... Good AFTERNOON i said...(with a little annoyance in my voice, couldn't help it!) what happened to you? oh i must have ate something that wasn't good.. i was sick but now i'm better!
How's everything here he says? quiet? yes quiet... then he went to his office...
What IS that?!
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Ok so I?m trying to figure out what that was? he came very late, didn?t call me ? usually he would, but I think he did all that to provoke me, to get some kind of reaction out of me? cause all week last week he kept coming to see me and I never or it never DID anything, I didn?t ?react? the way he thought I would ? like bringing up the topic about ?us? so now? he?s maybe trying to get a reaction or just some kind of reaction to see if I still care, and still think there?s a ?we?? I don?t know! And plus today he?s wearing his Levis? BLACK jeans! My number one favorite and he KNOWS it! He hasn?t worn them since before Christmas? because we were fighting and all?I?ve even jokingly asked if his dog had shred the jeans or something?! but TODAY he?s wearing them!
I bet this is ALL some kind of test he?s putting me through! Geez instead of just coming right out saying? ?Hey, what?s gonna happen to us when I leave? Would you be interested in seeing each other?? it?s not that hard!
Would you go through all that kind of trouble just to get a woman to do the first move?!
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I guess you're busy or something?! Where's Moloko gone to!? it's ok... i'm sure you'll read eventually.
SOOOOO yes IT IS a trick of some sort! I KNEW IT!
I told you I saw his BLACK jeans but HE doesn?t know that, because I saw it while he was talking to someone with his back to me, so now I was sitting at my desk and he walked by, and instead of having my back to him like I usually do ? that?s the way it?s set up - I was turned the other way and so he was surprised, a bit startled I guess, to see me facing him so he stopped right in front of my door way and very quickly he pretended to fix up his pants, his belt and just continued walking! I mean c?mon! as if that wasn?t for me to ?check? it or him out! I knew THIS was some sort of test? but what is he trying to accomplish with it? I?m not totally clear on that???? it must be to get me to ?plunge? ?
He came to see me after and I was facing my computer and the way my desk is, I couldn?t see his jeans, only his upper torso? so I said we will not have a shipper in the warehouse anymore? they?re finishing this coming Friday? and he said yes they are and he added in a sad tone??and I?ll be gone very soon too? and I kept staring at my computer screen and couldn?t look at him and he went back to his desk?
This is a very SNEAKY way to get me "going"! Maybe you are rigth about this one, cancers being sneaky!
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I really dont know to be honest cafrella, i wouldn't of wasted all this time on the situation, while i can be a patient cancerian, at the sime time id not have gone through 2 years of it and still be no where, if i dont know where i stand in 2 weeks max then its already gone on long enough in my eyes, i used to go for ages like that i those situations when i was younger, but i see it as wasted time and wasted emotion on something that is taking ages coming to a head, i mean this regarding myself, im approaching 30 in the summer and that recent Leo that i told you about thought i had all the time in the world to just wait till she can fit me in, and i though, hell no, id rather be on my own for a short time if i need to, than waste time messing about.
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just incase you're wondering...
Nothing has happened yet, we somehow got into a little fight, and it's my fault too, but me and my pride... you know how Leos can be! So i've been ignoring him and usually the more i ignore, the more he keeps coming to see me, but this time it's working the other way... I guess he figures "you want to ignore me, no problem! I'll ignore you too!" so THATS what's happening .... ABSOLUTELY NOTHING... and i'm so sad, i wish you, Moloko were here next to me so that you could slap me around a little so that i'd get my act together! ....
The clock is ticking... and he will be gone from here soon... i feel pressured...
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Im slapping you right now, lol smile
Get to work and get him before its too late. Winking
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Good morning or afternoon to you! *wink*
Yeees, Ahhh! that felt good! Thank you for that slap I needed that! You're cute! We're funny you & I! LOL!
So it's Thursday already... I have to move my butt and work my magic and get my prince before he disappears... POOF!!
I'll keep you posted on the satus! WOW you must be anxious for "THIS" to happen already! for this "Crazy Leo chick who's taking forever going after Mr. Crabby!!" to get somewhere! I tell ya! when it does you can have a party of your own down there!!
I'll talk to you later, be good and stay out of trouble now! *wink* I'm just bugging you! I'm in a grrreat mood today can you tell?! i don't know!?

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Maybe it will be my "lucky" day today! *wink*
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Hello Cafrella, Good Morning to you, how long do you have left? in days or weeks?
Yes, i can tell your mood, stick with it, enjoy your day. smile
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Well, it's "till the end of February" but he was told that it may be a few days, a week or so into March... so... but i keep thinking "what if one day he comes in and it's SOONER" so i'm not going to wait till the last minute... wouldn't be wise.
He JUST NOW walked in actually, i have not spoken to him in two days, and he said this nicely "gooood morning! how are you?" I'm ok i told him... he then said "you don't look very happy?" and someone was coming into the building so i just answered quickly "what else is new?! are YOU happy? is there ANYBODY happy into this place?" and he went to his office cause the person coming in was an employee who he doesn't get along with, that person is part of the reason why they're letting him go...long story... but anyhow...
I had a chance now, but because that person came in and chased him away... i didn't get a chance...
anyhow.. it's ok... I'll get my chance eventually
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