To love a cancer is painful
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by SagittariusSour on Sunday, May 20, 2018 and has 17 replies.
I have been friends with a cancer man for roughly 6 years. He has always had a thing for me. Finally about 6 months ago I have into him and let him into my life emotionally and sexually. We got married (something he really wanted). Now, he constantly avoids me. He will ignore me for days. I will go days without seeing him. Then suddenly he appears. He states he was upset, that he is sorry, that he feels his connection to me in his soul etc etc. I forgive him of course and we agree to work together to fix things and move forward. Then hours/days later the cycle repeats. WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Help me
I have never been the type of person who accepts what I am offered. I know my worth and what I want and if you can't meet my standards I will cut all ties. Somehow I can't break free from this man's emotional hell. He sounds like he rushed into something he thought he wanted and now he’s trying to figure out if it’s what he really wanted. If his connection to you is so strong then you have nothing to worry about. Just don’t be his doormat waiting there for any crumb. Live a full beautiful life.
Posted by _wtf_Sounds like it.
There must be another chick.
The timeline seems really short from dating to marriage.
Try counseling
Try counseling
We have had many conversations about his behavior. He tells me that he's struggling to settle in to this life he created with me. There's a lot to say honestly and I'm so drained emotionally I don't want to type it all out. But he has said many times that he has never felt this with anyone. The bond, friendship, the way his soul feels attached to me, the comfort we have between eachother sexually. That he loves that he is with a woman who can work on cars with him Etc. But he continues to flee. If he gets angry or offended he shuts down. About a month ago he admitted that he has had sex with a few different girls recently while he has been away. He says he always regrets it afterward and that it doesn't even feel right when it's happening but he physically need to climax and go home to his dad's house and relax and watch tv.
Idk why I allowed this all to be rushed. I'm a very calculated and thoughtful person about my choices. I guess you could say he swept me off my feet and I bought all the dreams he sold me. He had always been very sweet, charming, and thoughtful. Would do anything to help me in any way. We were pretty good friends. He was married once before to his high school sweetheart. He said he never felt with her what he feels with me and honestly that kind of blows my mind because I know how he felt about her. But also he was very nice to her and while he admits he did cheat on her as well. It has been escalating to the point where if he gets jealous he will say something to me about my appearance to knock me down. Or he gets angry with me very easily. The other day we were going to pick up his niece to babysit her and he had a conversation with his sister in English and ended it in Spanish. When I asked what the plan was he called me a fucking idiot and said I don't pay attention. I do not speak Spanish.
Ugh. Currently I am 3 days into not contacting him or making any attempts to see him or work on the relationship. I am trying my best to just let it go. He has dragged me thru hell mentally and emotionally. I have not felt this helpless and depressed since my mom died when I was 12. I am now 31.
Well this post went from what the hell is going on with my cancer to he's a complete asshole real fast. Sorry to drop all this on you guys. Thanks for your replies.
Idk why I allowed this all to be rushed. I'm a very calculated and thoughtful person about my choices. I guess you could say he swept me off my feet and I bought all the dreams he sold me. He had always been very sweet, charming, and thoughtful. Would do anything to help me in any way. We were pretty good friends. He was married once before to his high school sweetheart. He said he never felt with her what he feels with me and honestly that kind of blows my mind because I know how he felt about her. But also he was very nice to her and while he admits he did cheat on her as well. It has been escalating to the point where if he gets jealous he will say something to me about my appearance to knock me down. Or he gets angry with me very easily. The other day we were going to pick up his niece to babysit her and he had a conversation with his sister in English and ended it in Spanish. When I asked what the plan was he called me a fucking idiot and said I don't pay attention. I do not speak Spanish.
Ugh. Currently I am 3 days into not contacting him or making any attempts to see him or work on the relationship. I am trying my best to just let it go. He has dragged me thru hell mentally and emotionally. I have not felt this helpless and depressed since my mom died when I was 12. I am now 31.
Well this post went from what the hell is going on with my cancer to he's a complete asshole real fast. Sorry to drop all this on you guys. Thanks for your replies.
Posted by SagittariusSour
We have had many conversations about his behavior. He tells me that he's struggling to settle in to this life he created with me. There's a lot to say honestly and I'm so drained emotionally I don't want to type it all out. But he has said many times that he has never felt this with anyone. The bond, friendship, the way his soul feels attached to me, the comfort we have between eachother sexually. That he loves that he is with a woman who can work on cars with him Etc. But he continues to flee. If he gets angry or offended he shuts down. About a month ago he admitted that he has had sex with a few different girls recently while he has been away. He says he always regrets it afterward and that it doesn't even feel right when it's happening but he physically need to climax and go home to his dad's house and relax and watch tv.
Idk why I allowed this all to be rushed. I'm a very calculated and thoughtful person about my choices. I guess you could say he swept me off my feet and I bought all the dreams he sold me. He had always been very sweet, charming, and thoughtful. Would do anything to help me in any way. We were pretty good friends. He was married once before to his high school sweetheart. He said he never felt with her what he feels with me and honestly that kind of blows my mind because I know how he felt about her. But also he was very nice to her and while he admits he did cheat on her as well. It has been escalating to the point where if he gets jealous he will say something to me about my appearance to knock me down. Or he gets angry with me very easily. The other day we were going to pick up his niece to babysit her and he had a conversation with his sister in English and ended it in Spanish. When I asked what the plan was he called me a treetrunking idiot and said I don't pay attention. I do not speak Spanish.
Ugh. Currently I am 3 days into not contacting him or making any attempts to see him or work on the relationship. I am trying my best to just let it go. He has dragged me thru hell mentally and emotionally. I have not felt this helpless and depressed since my mom died when I was 12. I am now 31.
Well this post went from what the hell is going on with my cancer to he's a complete marker real fast. Sorry to drop all this on you guys. Thanks for your replies.
"he swept me off my feet and I bought all the dreams he sold me."
and what kind of dream YOU sold him? was he expecting something else from you than you are delivering now? maybe he is disappointed and frustrated as well, thats why he is doing everything to shake you up or make you to leave him?
I personally think that a good majority of cancers have one relationship they rush into, marriage sometimes, that ends disastrously because the dream they built in their head isnt the reality. After that relationship, they end up slowing way the fuck down to snails pace for every person after to not make the same mistake.
My 2 cents.
My 2 cents.
First of all....
"What an actual Fck is this?"
You're saying to love a cancer is painful, but you got yourself involved in a situation where you know it is emotionally damaging you after finding out he cheated on his own high school sweet heart and cheating on YOU.
I am a Cancer myself, but what the fck?
You finally came into a conclusion where this buttwipe isnt good for you. If he ever does run back to you, REJECT HIM at all cost or you're just fooling yourself with his charms.
No one is doing the damage but yourself. Just remember your choices are the ones either saving you or killing you.
"What an actual Fck is this?"
You're saying to love a cancer is painful, but you got yourself involved in a situation where you know it is emotionally damaging you after finding out he cheated on his own high school sweet heart and cheating on YOU.
I am a Cancer myself, but what the fck?
You finally came into a conclusion where this buttwipe isnt good for you. If he ever does run back to you, REJECT HIM at all cost or you're just fooling yourself with his charms.
No one is doing the damage but yourself. Just remember your choices are the ones either saving you or killing you.
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Posted by SagittariusSour
I have been friends with a cancer man for roughly 6 years. He has always had a thing for me. Finally about 6 months ago I have into him and let him into my life emotionally and sexually. We got married (something he really wanted). Now, he constantly avoids me. He will ignore me for days. I will go days without seeing him. Then suddenly he appears. He states he was upset, that he is sorry, that he feels his connection to me in his soul etc etc. I forgive him of course and we agree to work together to fix things and move forward. Then hours/days later the cycle repeats. WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Help me
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
His words matched his actions for 6 mos. Some men have stamina for seduction and hiding their true selves for years.
Please remember this for the future ( 'cause this is over, whether you stay or leave)...
You don't know a person until you've seen their darkside, an arguement, etc. We all have a darkside. If you don't see it, their hiding it. If they're hiding it, it's a dooosie.
Spiritual bonding is when your darksides shake hands... and it's okay.
But, it's over doll. Long death, or slow death?
Please remember this for the future ( 'cause this is over, whether you stay or leave)...
You don't know a person until you've seen their darkside, an arguement, etc. We all have a darkside. If you don't see it, their hiding it. If they're hiding it, it's a dooosie.
Spiritual bonding is when your darksides shake hands... and it's okay.
But, it's over doll. Long death, or slow death?
Words and apologies aren’t enough. There’s no accountability or plan your both agreeing to put into action. He cheated and is begging you for another chance. Sure. Under these conditions...whatever they might be. Spending every night at home with his wife should be at the top of the list imo.
If he fails to fulfill his promises you know those apologies mean fuck all...and you have to walk away for good. Serve the papers and wash your hands.
Sucks cause you were friends for 6 years. That’s gotta feel like double the betrayal.
But it’s not enough to be “sorry”
If he fails to fulfill his promises you know those apologies mean fuck all...and you have to walk away for good. Serve the papers and wash your hands.
Sucks cause you were friends for 6 years. That’s gotta feel like double the betrayal.
But it’s not enough to be “sorry”
Am I reading this for real??
He slept with other women, divorce is the only answer stop being a pussy and move on.
Easy come easy go im afraid. What a dick head not you OP btw 😊
He slept with other women, divorce is the only answer stop being a pussy and move on.
Easy come easy go im afraid. What a dick head not you OP btw 😊
Waaaait! Are these 2 married? 👀
He also cheats on people he loves. He needs a therapist. Not a wife.He doesn’t LOVE! He says he does.
He doesn’t know what Love is.
He does need a therapy so is OP.
Husband comes and goes and cheating and admitting and she isn’t leaving...so definitely therapy. Tho it won’t help. Just my gut feeling.
Also who is a bread winner?
Was this marriage based on him needing financial source of help?
what they all said
This post was written 8 months ago.
Something tells me she is still with him.
I don't think her question/issue is 'astrological'....she just needs a confirmation (bias) as to why Cancers act ths way so that she could resume the non-existent marriage she's currently in.
There is no emotional roller-coaster, he has been consistent the ENTIRE time.
Heck.
He even verbalized his infidelities to her.
Proof...he didn't give a f^ck!
She likes the drama. The uncertainty. The push/pull. The emotional intensity of it all. The pseudo-"I had enough.'
She is not going anywhere.
This mental chaos that she intentionally puts herself in....is what is sustaining her interest in this Crab.
Something tells me she is still with him.
I don't think her question/issue is 'astrological'....she just needs a confirmation (bias) as to why Cancers act ths way so that she could resume the non-existent marriage she's currently in.
There is no emotional roller-coaster, he has been consistent the ENTIRE time.
Heck.
He even verbalized his infidelities to her.
Proof...he didn't give a f^ck!
She likes the drama. The uncertainty. The push/pull. The emotional intensity of it all. The pseudo-"I had enough.'
She is not going anywhere.
This mental chaos that she intentionally puts herself in....is what is sustaining her interest in this Crab.
I'm so glad I've never let a cancer man fuck me
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