Decisions ... Decisions ... Decisions ...

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by cappysweetie on Friday, May 2, 2008 and has 114 replies.
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Well, this is the situation.
Since this leo/ virgo cusp is either TOO slow or not interested; there's someone else I have in mind.
He's an Aries/ Taurus cusp (I know! This is becoming a pattern) -- he's 34 years old and he's been married before. However, he is a sweetheart and really funny. Plus, he (actually) calls me!!!
I don't believe that the Leo/virgo is a terrible guy but for some reason I just don't know about him. If feel like this:
Why give me the impression that you're interested and then decided not to act upon? I don't care what sign you are, this makes no sense to me. Maybe it's because of the saggie in me, but I simply don't know if I should wait around for this joker to communicate with me.
This Aries/Taurus guy is a bit more consistent -- actually I was chatting with him two weeks before I gave the Leo/Virgo my number but we are just friends so I didn't see any harm in that.
So, I do like this Leo/Virgo guy but the hot and cold moods are something I don't have patience for.
So am I wrong for feeling this way?
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Oooh, girl! Go for whatcha know! Ya hear?

Plus, that's right up my age bracket. Yummmm. Tongue
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LOL, I'm trying to decide SS
I'm not the kind of girl that can keep two relationships going ...
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""I'm not the kind of girl that can keep two relationships going ...""
Me neither. But it doesn't sound like that's an issue. Don't dwell on Mr. Inconsistent...he has his opportunity. Out with old, in with the new!
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*had his opportunity
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Well, I kind of feel like this is my fault because didn't give him my number when he wanted, I give it to him a month later -- so really he has the right to call me when he feels like it I suppose ...
The leo/virgo is 30 years old but he has two children from a previous relationship.
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""I kind of feel like this is my fault because didn't give him my number when he wanted, I give it to him a month later""
That doesn't matter. His intentions are clear. If he calls casually, then he views your interaction/relationship as casual.
If you're a serious kind of gal, the Taurus sounds more promising.
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Plus, I am kind of looking for a (REAL) boyfriend at the moment. I've had some pretty silly relationships and I just want something that's solid. Anything that's rocky is scary for me. I know that there's nothing between the Leo/virgo and I but at the same time he gave me some indications by his actions and a words last. Now this week he is distant? Come, he's like 30!
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If you're a serious kind of gal, the Taurus sounds more promising.
Hmmm, point taken smile I've been told to give virgos a chance but I don't want to wait a lifetime just for the guy to make up his mind.
The taurus just texted me and I'm suppose to call him back smile
That doesn't matter. His intentions are clear. If he calls casually, then he views your interaction/relationship as casual.
So the fact that he became distant means that he views me as nothing, although he was the one whose between chasing me for more then a year ??? Haha, that asshole Winking
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Where do you find all these prospects?
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lol @ M

I was going to ask the same question.
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""... don't want to wait a lifetime...""
And a lifetime it will be, so don't hold your breath.

""So the fact that he became distant means that he views me as nothing,...""
That's not what I said.
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Where do you find all these prospects?
LADYM! How are you ?? smile
All these prospects??? LOL, oh dear, I hope I'm not making this sound bad. It's just I meet people. I like to make friends smile I have to realize that I'm not a tomboy anymore but I really like having guy friends smile
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That's not what I said.
I'm a saggie/cappy, I don't like waiting!!!! LOL
I'm gettin kicked ot of the student center (Sad)so I will chat tomorrow! byes Big Grin
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Peace

...to the Middle East
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LOL, Im doing good Cappysmile
I just wanted you to share your secret! Seems like every week you've got a new guy trying to get to know you a little better Winking I wanted in on the action!
ttyl Cappy
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That's not what I said.
Okay, back to that statement smile
Well, I know that's not what you meant SS but that's how I feel. Like Cappywench said:"Not talking to a saggie is just like not watering a flower", that's very true. I feel like he wanted my attention one week, then the next week he's slightly distant -- true, it was the end of the semester and we were both busy but that was Monday, it's Saturday right now ...
The only thing I can think of is ... OOOOHHH!!! He may be with someone ...
Well, you know what !?! That makes him an even BIGGER jerk if that's the case because he should've have taken my number if he's seriously dating or involved with someone. I didn't give him my number because I was kind of involved with someone and I knew that was wrong ...
Ugh! Men Sad
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I just wanted you to share your secret! Seems like every week you've got a new guy trying to get to know you a little better I wanted in on the action!
Oh no, nothing like that. I wish I did have guys that were really cool that wanted a date, but so far I get the shitheads. Hahaha, I've upgraded! I use to attract asses, now I attract shit-heads.
I'm getting better, but I'm not there yet Sad
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cappysweetie...I get the feeling deep down you find this guy more attractive because you know he is no good for you. The other guy sounds like a safe option, but less exciting.... The one that is bad for you has your heartstrings at the moment.
Really? From what I know of the Leo/Virgo ... he is a good guy, in all academic aspects I mean. Personally, I'm not sure, I don't know him well enough personally, he's seems to know me better, which is odd.
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I have no idea why I'm attracted to this guy. He hasn't down anything terrible to me, except not calling, which is my fault because I really shouldn't have give him my number four months after he asked for it. I guess I created my own problem.
Well, I guess you live and you learn. The best way for me to get through this is to say hello to him when he says hi and to say nothing more ...
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I'm reading "the key" at the moment, it's all about the key to the law of attraction and apparently we attract what our subconscious wants and in order to attract what you consciously want you have to start communicating with your subconscious. Speaking to your belly button and such.
Ohhhh, I see ...
So I need to listen to my gut more. Well, I thought my gut was leading me in the right direction last week ... so I did listen Winking
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lol
Well, it still nice to have prospects; just for fun of courseTongue
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Hah! I posted that just as you were posting!
I know!!!
Well, the truth about the Aries/Taurus is that he seems to be very done on himself and I try to help but he needs to help himself more. I guess I feel he kind of waiting for something to happen instead going out and getting it. He's not waiting for someone to give anything to him, he's just waiting for some miracle.
With the Leo/Virgo, he's ambitious and TAKES THE ATTRACTION. I've always attracted men who needed me to do things for them -- simple things, but not this guy.
So yeah, that's the attraction, he isn't someone I have to baby ...
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Well, it still nice to have prospects; just for fun of course
Yeah, some of the guys are fun, but that's all they are about ... is fun.
NO AMBITION! I need some with red, hot blood running though their veins! LOL!!! I like go-getters because ... I don't know. I like someone who I can nurture but also someone I know who can hold their own.
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Ugh! Darn Library ...
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*down on himself*
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Why are you blaming yourself for his lack of showing interest? That's not good.
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I see where you are coming from now. You want someone to love you for who you are rather than for what you can do for them. It's funny but I had a similar feeling with an aries, who I felt was making plans around my abilities and what I could offer his life materially and physically rather than just wanting to be with me for me.
I'm glad you understand CW smile
It's not that I don't want to help but it's like, I don't know. I'm a cappy, I believe that sometimes you have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps. The Aries/Taurus is one of the guys -- true, he is like 34, but he seems to be a bit damaged from his previous marriage. Yes, he a nice guy but he is down on himself Sad, and can only pick you up so much before you need to pick yourself up.
Geeezzz, I feel horrible
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That's what I meant about being attracted to people because they have familiar traits to people who have damaged us in the past. I don't know how many times I've made the same mistake of going for someone who I have a gut feeling is the perfect guy for me and then finding I was wrong. According to what I've been reading, it feels so right purely because it is so wrong, but my subconscious craves it like a drug. The guys who have been right don't give me a gut feeling, it just clicks nicely without the drug addiction type symptoms of craving the man.
Oh, I see. Oh dear, I should seek thee to a nunnery
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Why are you blaming yourself for his lack of showing interest? That's not good.
Well, I feel like I shouldn't have waited so long.
That's a great synopsis. I was trying to put my finger on what feels wrong about this but you've done it in a sentence.
Maybe that's it then. Okay, maybe I shouldn't blame myself -- haha, I didn't realize how wrong it looked until I read this smile
Okay, well I just have to get over it. Just maybe next time I will not be so cautious and just give my number when a nice guy asks for it smile
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Why is it so important, Cappysweetie?
??? Because I'm attracted to the guy outcast and I feel I misjudge some things.
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Absolutely no reason why you should feel bad. You're not there to fix his life. He needs to do that himself before he has a relationship otherwise the relationship will be all about him and his problems. Men like this leave me more angry than complete bastards. They are emotionally draining. At least with a bastard you can blame him, with this type you end up blaming yourself as well as being angry at him.
Yeah, that's how a feel. There's some things in the Taurus's life that he needs to fix before 'any' relationship beyonds friends develops. I've been down this road before and I don't want to go down there again. He's a sweet guy, who calls me when I want him to, but at the time, but I'm aware and can even feel his emotional issues. So I don't know.
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Do you have to act on impulse?
Well Outcast, I don't like waiting Winking
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and i question so much of how i feel for mr. scorp now because it just feel so easy with him we click and we think each other are just beautiful inside out but then at the same time there is a lack of drug addtion type of craving so i can't figure out how much i really want him.
By the GODS! I hate that feeling! I've been there before.
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I've gotten to that point slightly ... ever so slightly ...
LOL, in conclusion to I shouldn't date either guy because of totally different reasons ...
Gee Weezzz, this is terrible ....
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an emotinonal unhealthy/immature person is the most challenging to deal with cappysweetie, either emotionally unavailable or emotionally needy. getting yourself involve with one is a sure way to unhappiness.
Aries/ Taurus -- emotionally needy
Leo/ Virgo -- emotionally unavailable
Hahaha, I can really reel them in can't I Winking
My cappy depression just might settle in if I can't pull a cool guy quick ...
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Mr wonderful could be around the corner.
I thought the Leo/Virgo was that guy, but he I guess he's a good actor.
Hahaha, my virgo co-worker just asked about that cuspy like seven minutes ago -- he wanted to know if we were still talking. I didn't know what to tell him so I changed the subject.
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Maybe you should go for younger men. Single guys over 30 usually have issues, particularly if they have never settled. The truly emotionally healthy guys settle early and stay settled.
You know what! I'm glad you said that! I went for the Leo/Virgo guy becaue he looked like he was 19 years old, I kid you not! He really burst my bubble when he said he was freaking 30, I said to myself, what the hell!
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But you are right, I need to look for younger guys, because older ones are for the birds LOL, all those issues and no where to put them and then the poor little 20-something is left wondering "What Just Happened?" Whatever!!!
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I just don't know what I'm going to tell the Aries that set me up with his Aries/Taurus friend ...
Thank you CW, you been awesome smile I just have terrible luck with guys.
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Cappy and sagi offer words of wisdom, as usual.
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besides, some are just late boomers. we just need to be more discriminate and perhaps more selfish too.
I guess my experience has been that late bloomers are more like late bloopers. They spend so much blooming time thinking about tending the inner garden that they bloom so late that all their petals fall off the next day and you wonder what the blooming heck you are doing with this wise, caring but ultimately old man with no hair and dubious teeth.

You are both right, but I guess you have to have a certain confidence about yourself in order to do that I suppose. Cappy women are notorious for lacking in that area ....
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Cappy and sagi offer words of wisdom, as usual.
Hahaha, thanks SS
I guess I'm just upset at the most that I thought I finally got it right. I've gone through all these different guys -- some of which I haven't posted on DXP and then this guy comes along I seems okay. It was like, FINALLY, I did things right this time, you know what I mean? I didn't give him my contact info right away because I wanted to see if he was an okay guy. All the other times I wasn't that cautious and I burned.
This time, I thought I did everything the "correct" way and things still didn't work ... ??? Haha, and it didn't help any that this was a guy that I actaully 'liked'. Most of the time, its the other way around.
I just have to regroup and figure out what in the blazes am I doing wrong.
I wish I was an Aries or a Libra woman, they seem to have all the luck without trying
~sigh~ smile
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Okay ...
I bought this back because the virgo guy has returned ... it's a long story ...
I have more questions now then before LOL!!!!! I think the fact that I didn't give him my number when he asked for it before is playing a role in why he's acting slightly distant ...
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There's something that he told me, that has stayed in my head since we saw and spoke to each other. I'm not sure why he said it, but it's stayed with me. I asked three friends of mine what it meant, and all of them said the the same thing ...
Like I said, it's a long story ...
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oooh, you know how to write a suspense thriller.
*waits*
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I logged off soon after I logged on -- I had so much to do yesterday, I felt like I was running around like a chick with my head cut off.
Okay, well to make a long story short -- I'll try ...
Wednesday was a difficult day at work (I even yelled at a co-worker accidently), as my co-worker was cleaning the weightroom, I saw the Leo/Virgo guy there and he looked at me and I said heloo but I continued talking to my co-worker.
The Leo/Virgo kept jumping into the conversation -- hahaha almost like taking the co-worker's said. since they are both guys, I accused them of tag-teaming -- because I was the only girl present Big Grin I tried to block him out of the convo but he accused me of not wanting to hear the truth.
So the tag-teaming continued until I playful said that my feeling were hurt. The Leo/Virgo then said that he was just kiding with me, along with saying that "I" seem to have a big defensive wall up and that it needs to come down -- THE NERVE OF HIM.
Now he's what turned everything upsidedown ...
When I was living he mensioned something about 'a boy and a girl on the playground'
This is how he put it:
?"Do you remember when the boy on the playground that always picked on one particular girl? You know, he always pushed her around, hit her, teased her, sometimes he spoke to her, and other times he didn't -- just to drive her crazy. Do you remember a boy doing that to one particualr girl? Now, I'll let you figure the rest out ...".
After he said that, my co-worker shouted from across the room, "I know what he means by that!" The Leo/Virgo said nothing ...
I felt odd, but I told him that I would figure it out and he said good. I felt strange so went back to my work area. I had to go into the weightroom again because I needed something from my co-worker. He wasn't in there but the Leo/Virgo was still there, he looked and smiled as I walked out the door -- that was odd, I only said like five words to him.
Before he left, he stopped in the office area again (I told him that it was okay) to say bye. He said he wanted to stay longer but he needed to pick his daughter up from school. He said that we'll chat later and I agreed.
That was all ...
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You see this is exactly why virgos get on my nerves. They are always trying to take control and manipulate things by using underhand arguments and making you feel a little insecure by well timed personal criticism followed by what seems to be an expression of interest. So you are weakened and more likely to do what they want like putty in his hands.
So are you saying that he's messing with my head?
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AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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AHHHHH!!!!!!!!
What am I going to do. There was a revelation today (well, more like 15 minutes ago) ...
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