Did I ruin things with Mr.Cap?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Riri198 on Saturday, September 21, 2013 and has 31 replies.
It's actually kind of fun refreshing to see the next part of this whole story show up. Tongue
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You know it's all about sex with the cappy man, right? I'm still not cool with the fact that he lied to you about his age in the first place just to get with you. So your pride kicks in and you tell him that you and him have no real future because of the age difference. This now makes the relationship more of a FWB because it's not going anywhere meaningful. I think it was good that you were able to write all this out, that in itself must help, but I think now you must realize that whatever your relationship could have been in the beginning has now turned into something else. It could change over the years, but it will take alot of effort, and mostly on your part. I've dealt with two men with Venus in Saggitarius, one a cap and one a scorp. They do not like to be fenced in and will always go do their own thing. They are very social and can make friends very easily. That twitter thing? It's probably harmless, but its a Big world out there and he is curious to learn and do as much as possible in it.
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Posted by champranger
The point is ... you are not telling him what is in your heart. You are only telling him HOW UNCERTAIN this relationship is.

+1
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....he walked me to my car and hugged me and started crying so hard...

Ehhhh, NO.
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Posted by Riri198
Can you please elaborate scorpiofish
I did not exaggerate any part of my story I was there and that's what happened. And I don't think it was an act either.


I'm sorry, but you need a man.
Boys often cry like girls, men do not.
If you are okay with childishness and foolishness, then stick with this guy.
Otherwise, move on.
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Posted by champranger
Posted by pathfinder
You know it's all about sex with the cappy man, right? I'm still not cool with the fact that he lied to you about his age in the first place just to get with you. So your pride kicks in and you tell him that you and him have no real future because of the age difference. This now makes the relationship more of a FWB because it's not going anywhere meaningful. I think it was good that you were able to write all this out, that in itself must help, but I think now you must realize that whatever your relationship could have been in the beginning has now turned into something else. It could change over the years, but it will take alot of effort, and mostly on your part. I've dealt with two men with Venus in Saggitarius, one a cap and one a scorp. They do not like to be fenced in and will always go do their own thing. They are very social and can make friends very easily. That twitter thing? It's probably harmless, but its a Big world out there and he is curious to learn and do as much as possible in it.


Venus in Sag are natural flirts. He does not see anything wrong with the twitter thing ... why shouldn't he? His relationship with OP was clearly stated that they both know it will not lead to marriage and that either of them could walk out at any time.


I cannot see anything wrong with it either. If a girl is insecure about me being friends with other women then that's her problem, there is only so much comforting and reassuring I will do.
Fly off the handle like that, combined with everything else you wrote and I would be like "Go ahead and rage all you want but I'm off to somewhere else." a.k.a. "Do what you want, bye"
Posted by Riri198
I guess it didn't mean anything to him? Because it did to me and I always knew deep down that if we got serious I would consider taking him more seriously..
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Can I just point out you're reasoning in circles here? You make a choice to take him more serious and then it gets more serious. If you were waiting for him he probably felt that. He was probably really intense in pursuing you and you loved it.
But you were not taking the whole relationship serious so as a result neither did he. And now you are sad that magnifi
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TigerCap made some good points here. I had a longer answer prepared, but it didn't post. I'm texting from my phone right now. Short messages only from me at the moment...
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Try to take this experience on its own merits, and don't read into the fact that he's a Capricorn too much at this point. Sure, initial pursuit was intense and romantic. Now there's some pull back. He's not saying he's not going to marry you ever, just not now. Focus on the things in life that make you feel secure and good about yourself.
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I suspect you don't want to move on because on some level you know that you've located a quality man, and it could take years before you find another of this caliber. I also think you're panicking because the depth of feeling he triggered in you has taken you completely unaware, and it's going to take you a while to adjust.
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Insecurity and loss of control are making you feel much worse than necessary at the moment. The world is filled with available and attractive women. I'd continue to work on feeling secure within myself, and allow things to develop naturally. The pace of development will probably slow down a great deal at this point. So use this time to get your bearings and consider whether or not this is someone you would choose for the long haul.
Does the age difference bother you?
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Posted by Riri198

I read that capricorns are like Virgos in that they need space after a fight especially if they feel they are right. The difference is that I used my space to hit the gym, eat well, sleep, focus on work.. And he used it to flirt sexually with other women and give them his number.


that's right and that's ok

i wish you to find your love
i don't quite understand what do you want to figure out
If it was he or if it was you? If him then ScorpioFish just already told you that - he was overaffected,
if you then it is also obvious - you're looking for a candidate to marry with.
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If you looks like a model then your expectations must be too high. smile
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Posted by Riri198
Tiger cap, your message cut off but from what I read you are right in determining how I felt and what I was thinking. I'm being honest because this is anonymous but obviously I kept a lot of this in while we were dating.
I made a logical choice despite feeling the exact opposite and I wasn't able to stick to the logical choice I made.
Virgos always weigh the pros and cons just like capricorns. In weighing all the factors once he told me the truth about his age I felt like this was the logical choice to make: break it off. I tried but he begged me to reconsider and not even 24 hrs later I reconsidered but I took him back in the understanding that this would probably never lead todos thing serious.. And then of course nobody can control their heart in these situations and I quickly realized that I'd be willing to overlook the age thing and give this an honest shot. The problem is that I never communicated that to him because we already started having issues re his disappearing acts (which nobody has offered an opinion on yet)
I felt like we were on the same page just by the way he looked at me with this look in his eyes - it was like sadness mixed with live or something. And I wanted to talk to him but it was too late his behaviour changed and my ego kicked in.
Tigercap- I get what you're saying but am I to assume from your message that this is beyond salvation?
Will he come back? Should I wait or move on?
I already decided that if we ever talk again, I'm going to let my guard down (super hard for me) and tell him how I feel


The disappearing act is a classic complaint on this board when it comes to Cap men. When troubled they just need their time to think things through. And especially Venus in Sag will listen to other people's advice but will do exactly as they please anyway. It's the "Are you coming with me on this grand adventure? No? Okay, bye then."-thing they are famous for.
But be honest with him. Your feeling one thing, thinking something else and then not telling him about it got you into this mess in the first place. It's confusing, messy and a turn off.
What will be best is to just move on and focus on yourself for now. Show him that you are confident in your own strengths. Do not wait around for him to come back. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. It's impossible to tell.
If you do run into him again, chances are that look
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*If you do run into him again, chances are that look in his eyes is gone. But as long as you can be honest about why you responded the way you did and tell him in a calm, rational way he will appreciate you for it. Even if you tell him he made you feel like he was a playing vengeful asshole. As long as you are honest about it. Tongue
Maybe you can be friends again and who knows what happens after that. Winking
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Posted by champranger
Posted by Riri198

Because he's an attractive intelligent guy and I don't think he needs to do that.
Maybe it's an age thing or maybe it's a personality thing or maybe everyone is different. That's just not something I would ever do ever. I wouldn't want the whole world to know my private information and telephone number. And I hate to say it but if a woman posted a photo of herself in lingerie and her cell number on a public website, most men would put her in that "category" immediately.. He gave me the same impression with his shirtless photo and number posted.


It`s probably just something he wanted to do and show that he could do it. I would never do such a thing either. But I don`t see this as anything wrong because my impression was that he could do whatever he like in terms of seeing other people.
Here`s the thing ... after all of your talks with him, I think you are probably the only one that still views this relationship as exclusive.
Just my thoughts. Winking Someone please correct me if I`m wrong.

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+1
After what you said, it sounds more like a couple of really fun dates where you two just enjoy each other and don't expect anything more. Maybe he wanted to in the beginning but if you tell a guy it won't go anywhere and he's too young... well, don't expect him to pass up an opportunity for hot steamy sex all day with a more experienced woman. Venus in Sag likes to learn. Winking
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Posted by champranger
Posted by TigerCap

And especially Venus in Sag will listen to other people's advice but will do exactly as they please anyway. It's the "Are you coming with me on this grand adventure? No? Okay, bye then."-thing they are famous for.


lol *takes note of this*
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Haha, if you like that, go and take a look at my thread in the Astrology forum
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%`4
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Thanks Serginho.
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intrigued me.
Posted by Undine

So.....is psychic? Or must have been his Cancer moon ?



Posted by DMV
definitely the cancer moon. they also seem to know things.
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Virgos are calculating, and all their passion is subject to the acquisition of earthly goods. I have many friends Virgos, one were changing such cool guys who worked hard, provided rather good, candy bouquets, love, living together and then f**** everything, it's boring for her with them... if somebody more perspective is on the horisont then bye! lived about a year with everybody then f*** out all

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Posted by Riri198

I would say all of that is true if I am dating someone I'm not in love with. And over the years I have learned that i would rather be single then date someone in not in love with. So I don't think this statement applies.
It's funny how Virgos and caps are so much alike (confirmed by this website too) but yet from what i read on this forum Capricorns tend to hurt Virgos despite the whole "match made in heaven" thing.. Could it be because they are no as in touch with their feelings as Virgos are.. I don't know


Virgos are a little bit grounded. They will stay alive when capricorn will probably be hurted | wounded while trying to defence somebody -- caps sometimes high-risked (if for somebody).
Nobody wants to hurt Virgos. No and no. A little bit of added adventure will be appreciated.
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I think you might have been onto something Riri, when you mentioned hitting the gym and accomplishing things makes you feel good about yourself, then bringing up his twitter feed. Maybe this makes him feel good about himself, just being flirty around attractive women.
Are you still interested in him even though there's an age difference at this point? I've found that overall maturity makes a huge difference to me, though I have dated younger.
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I am similar, in that after a certain point I will stop dating someone if the feelings aren't there or if I'm not ready or if there's something going on that prevents me from going further at the time.
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Whose lips are those?
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I can't answer either of those questions.
(both very cute)
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+1
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Well,i can see you are Virgo,as me(welcome to the club).There are only 9 days?I didnt talk with the Cap i was seeing for more then 3 weeks,so no big deal.Time is different for them.
So,after 3 weeks,he was asking me if i wanted to go to dance class,where he was teaching,so i went.
Anyhow, iam 3 weeks into the class!!actually today,i said to him-iam kind of nervous when iam dancing with you,feeling emotions.
I thought is a normal thing to say,guess what-he just freak out and said goodbye to me and wish me well.I kind of scared him,i know.
Somehow,i knew that will happen,but i need it to get it of my chest ,so i feel much better now(at least the ball is in his court,kind of).I feel released from such a tension.
Maybe he wanted just to be in friendly terms,i dont know.
I dont put any big expectations,what will be ,will be!
So,9 days is not much(putting pressure on him,on you- iam sure is no good).
I know how us,Virgos are(it takes time to warm up to people,to trust them on a deep level) and we do the push-pull thing.When we realise we probably just might lost the person we panick and overanalyze:
so my friendly advice like from Virgo to Virgo-relax!Is the best solution!
We are so similar to Caps,only we are in reverse,i think-we think at the begginig of a relationship with a Cap-wow,why this person is so pushy?(but in a way we love all the attention ,but are scared in same time),in this time Cap thinks -wow, maybe she is just to cold,why bother(but we are just a bit scared of overwhelming emotions)-so the Cap just puff,dissapear,putting this face of poker face wounded.
For Caps is-coming strong at the begining,and puff- they just stop ,watch you,analyze you ,dissapear,watch you again,analyze ,so on(they are really funny,they dont realize we kind of know them inside out-)).
I dont know how the outcame will be,in some time-in few months or a year,if nothing good will come out from this,you will laugh at yourself a bit and you will say-wow,that was such a silly waste of energy from my part!I hope will not be like that,but could happen!
He is only 20y/old?i think he is just to young for a comitted relationship(i know a Cap guy of 20 y/o,is like a teenager-no offence to anybody,but i see a Cap guy of 20 y/o-only as a boy!i knew a 32 y/o,who was acting like a boy ,also-telling me so many praise words,didnt matter if i was older then him-i didnt give to much attention,because i didnt feel any attraction towards him-phisical or intelectual.
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The actual Cap is 40,but not a boy!but he is scared of emotions as much as iam(or he is just playing a bit-),tomorrow going again to dance-I love bachata and salsa!So,if nothing good is coming from it,is just a life experience ,but i will be a good dancer in few months-).
Do yourself a favour and relax(the Cap feel when someone is puting pressure on them through vibes we send).
Relax,enjoy life,cry a bit,prey if it helps and keep smilling(sorry for my english).
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pray*
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