How do I get my Capricorn ex back?

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Chelsey07 on Wednesday, December 30, 2015 and has 52 replies.
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A little over a week ago, I broke up with my girlfriend because we weren't talking as much as I'd like (we're long distance) and I told her I was done. She said that she was done as well, but I didn't mean it. Two days later, she contacted me with your typical post break up conversation (i.e. hello, how are you, what are you up to, etc) and she told me her plans for Christmas and I told her to enjoy herself. She said thanks and I didn't hear from her again until Christmas day. Since our breakup, I had been working on an apology letter to show her how regretful I was and wanted her to consider giving me a second chance.

A few days later, I poured my soul into an apology letter that I had written for her. After she read it, all she said was that she was speechless and that she would talk to me later about the situation, but it's been 3 days. Is that her way of avoiding the conversation or is she just deep in thought about what I wrote?

When she said she was speechless, do you think she meant it in a good way or a bad way? Also, I learned that when Capricorns say that they are "done" with you, it means that you no longer exist to them, then why would she get in contact with me?

If anyone wants to know what I put in my apology, I can add it to the post. Any advice would be great.

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I don't know if this is typical capricorn, but if a guy would break up with me just to later say that they didn't mean it, I would not be able to take him seriously - if you take break-ups that lightly then you don't have what I'm looking for.

But.

She's not me and may have contacted you to see if things could possibly be mended. It's difficult to say. I think at least I would benefit from reading your letter. It might give a clearer picture of what's going on between you.
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Okay, I can get what you're saying about the skepticism of my words. When I'm upset, I tend to say things out of anger, but I never mean them. I'm a Sagittarius, so foot in mouth disease has hit me pretty hard, but by no means am I using that as an excuse for what I said to her. I never meant to hurt her and I've been regretting it everyday.

As for my letter, it's pretty long winded, but here goes nothing:

Name withheld,

There’s no way that this letter isn’t an abject apology. I know that I screwed up…again, but I’m so sorry about how things ended with us. I’m sorry for not moving on from past situations. My guilt eats at me for hurting you and that’s why it’s hard to let go. It was never my intention to hurt your feelings or make you upset. I’m sorry for being selfish. Giving you an ultimatum was totally out of line and just childish. I’m sorry for my passive-aggressive tantrum. I’m learning that the world does not revolve around me and you should never feel obligated to choose one thing over the other. I realized that you’re busy getting your life in order and honey, if I didn’t say it before, I’ll say it again…I’m proud of you. Your work ethic and mindset is of someone who has been established for many years. It’s something that some, if not all people should strive for and envy.


Relationships are difficult, but not being with you has reminded me that while I can live without you, I rather not. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life and I know that I won’t find anyone else who treats me like a princess like you do. There’s no one else that I rather be goofy with or vent to when my job is getting on my nerves, and most definitely the Martin/Gina debate. It made me so happy to know that I’m your favorite person and deep down inside, I’m hoping I still am. You mean the world, moon, and stars to me.

I’m terrible at promises, but for you, I’m willing to try so….
© I promise to consider your feelings.
© I promise to let go of the past.
© I promise to be more empathetic/sympathetic towards you.
© I promise to think more about you instead of myself all the time.
© I promise to think about what I’m going to do or say before I act on it.
© I promise to take your word on things (that goes back to the apology thing).
And finally…
© I promise to be the sweet, lovable girl you knew in the beginning.

And while these are the things that I’m doing to become a better person for you, I’m doing them for myself as well. I know that things between us won’t turn around immediately, but I’m willing to work on it until everything is (almost) perfect.

I’m so, so sorry.

-Chelsey

P.S. Totally cheesy, but it’s true…I want to be the Gina to your Martin (only if you want me to of course).
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Thats a lot of promises you made. Hope you can stick to it. If you fail to follow through on anything you wrote in that letter, she will be done for good. Caps say what they mean and mean what they say and we expect you to do the same.

I agree with HappyCapper. Caps are in it for the long haul regardless of what we do and those who quit easily aren't high on our respect list.

All that said, give her time. Time to process. Time to think. Time to decide if she wants to try again. Give it a week and if you haven't heard from her, then reach out in a friendly way.
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Question: was this your first letter of apology to her?
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Those ARE a lot of promises, but I'm willing to do these things for her. I've never fell this hard and fast for any girl before and it's crushing me that we're not together. She made me smile so much and I miss her with every fiber in my body.

@HappyCapper Yes, it was my first letter.
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Posted by Chelsey07
@HappyCapper Yes, it was my first letter.

Okay, that's good.

The bad news, imo, is this part "I know that I screwed up…again"

Plus, as Truecap pointed out, there are a looot of promises in that letter. That would make me question if you're just throwing nice words, or if you really thought it through, especially as it sounds like you've promised things before and not kept them. The latter I have absolutely no proof of, it's just the vibe I get. And you seem more upset about how it ended than the fact that it ended in the letter. I do believe that you're more upset that it ended, ofc, because I've read this thread, but I'm trying to think from her pov - what information she has.

I agree with Truecap in her advice on what to do "Give it a week and if you haven't heard from her, then reach out in a friendly way."

Oh, and don't blame it on being a sag - you're talking to a sag venus. smile

Good luck to you! I really hope you work it out! smile
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As for that "again", it wasn't for anything of this proportion. I said something about improving our relationship and she flipped out. We worked that situation out and she admitted that she was wrong, so we're through with that.

And once again, those are A LOT of promises and they have a lot of significance because not only were those things she complained about while we were together, my family and friends have also complained about the same things. I was worried about her thinking I'm BS' ing as well, but I meant every word in my apology. And if you read my letter, you'd see that I wrote that I'm terrible at making promises because I am, but I when I really want something or someone, I try my hardest with my promises. This is the first time that I've made a promise to her and of course I'm hurt about ending us in a letter and ending us in general.

Once again, I'm not blaming my sign for what I did. I take full responsibility for my actions. " I'm a Sagittarius, so foot in mouth disease has hit me pretty hard, but by no means am I using that as an excuse for what I said to her. "

Thanks again smile
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Posted by Chelsey07
As for that "again", it wasn't for anything of this proportion. I said something about improving our relationship and she flipped out. We worked that situation out and she admitted that she was wrong, so we're through with that.

And once again, those are A LOT of promises and they have a lot of significance because not only were those things she complained about while we were together, my family and friends have also complained about the same things. I was worried about her thinking I'm BS' ing as well, but I meant every word in my apology. And if you read my letter, you'd see that I wrote that I'm terrible at making promises because I am, but I when I really want something or someone, I try my hardest with my promises. This is the first time that I've made a promise to her and of course I'm hurt about ending us in a letter and ending us in general.

Once again, I'm not blaming my sign for what I did. I take full responsibility for my actions. " I'm a Sagittarius, so foot in mouth disease has hit me pretty hard, but by no means am I using that as an excuse for what I said to her. "

Thanks again smile


Oh, I believe you meant it, I was just trying to tell you how I, as a cap, would have reacted to the letter, so that you know what you might be in for in a discussion with her about this when you are next in contact with her. I did see your comment about you're being terrible at making promises, but in her shoes I would have read it as blah blah blah, those are words, I want to see action. Again, I do understand that you are sincere - I'm trying to view this as I would have in her position...which is without your explanations in this thread.

What I did not get before was that you ended things in a letter. Must agree that that would have pissed me off to no end. Hmm. Hope it's repairable in spite of this.

I do understand that you're not blaming your sign and that you are willing to take full blame - that was just my very unsuccessful way of telling you that I kind of see where you're coming from.

I truly wish you the best of luck! smile
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Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Chelsey07
As for that "again", it wasn't for anything of this proportion. I said something about improving our relationship and she flipped out. We worked that situation out and she admitted that she was wrong, so we're through with that.

And once again, those are A LOT of promises and they have a lot of significance because not only were those things she complained about while we were together, my family and friends have also complained about the same things. I was worried about her thinking I'm BS' ing as well, but I meant every word in my apology. And if you read my letter, you'd see that I wrote that I'm terrible at making promises because I am, but I when I really want something or someone, I try my hardest with my promises. This is the first time that I've made a promise to her and of course I'm hurt about ending us in a letter and ending us in general.

Once again, I'm not blaming my sign for what I did. I take full responsibility for my actions. " I'm a Sagittarius, so foot in mouth disease has hit me pretty hard, but by no means am I using that as an excuse for what I said to her. "

Thanks again smile


Oh, I believe you meant it, I was just trying to tell you how I, as a cap, would have reacted to the letter, so that you know what you might be in for in a discussion with her about this when you are next in contact with her. I did see your comment about you're being terrible at making promises, but in her shoes I would have read it as blah blah blah, those are words, I want to see action. Again, I do understand that you are sincere - I'm trying to view this as I would have in her position...which is without your explanations in this thread.

What I did not get before was that you ended things in a letter. Must agree that that would have pissed me off to no end. Hmm. Hope it's repairable in spite of this.

I do understand that you're not blaming your sign and that you are willing to take full blame - that was just my very unsuccessful way of telling you that I kind of see where you're coming from.

I truly wish you the best of luck! smile
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I should be more detailed. I had no other way of ending things because we were long distance and I definitely didn't want to do it over text. How rude would that be? Thanks again! smile
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Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Chelsey07
As for that "again", it wasn't for anything of this proportion. I said something about improving our relationship and she flipped out. We worked that situation out and she admitted that she was wrong, so we're through with that.

And once again, those are A LOT of promises and they have a lot of significance because not only were those things she complained about while we were together, my family and friends have also complained about the same things. I was worried about her thinking I'm BS' ing as well, but I meant every word in my apology. And if you read my letter, you'd see that I wrote that I'm terrible at making promises because I am, but I when I really want something or someone, I try my hardest with my promises. This is the first time that I've made a promise to her and of course I'm hurt about ending us in a letter and ending us in general.

Once again, I'm not blaming my sign for what I did. I take full responsibility for my actions. " I'm a Sagittarius, so foot in mouth disease has hit me pretty hard, but by no means am I using that as an excuse for what I said to her. "

Thanks again smile


Oh, I believe you meant it, I was just trying to tell you how I, as a cap, would have reacted to the letter, so that you know what you might be in for in a discussion with her about this when you are next in contact with her. I did see your comment about you're being terrible at making promises, but in her shoes I would have read it as blah blah blah, those are words, I want to see action. Again, I do understand that you are sincere - I'm trying to view this as I would have in her position...which is without your explanations in this thread.

What I did not get before was that you ended things in a letter. Must agree that that would have pissed me off to no end. Hmm. Hope it's repairable in spite of this.

I do understand that you're not blaming your sign and that you are willing to take full blame - that was just my very unsuccessful way of telling you that I kind of see where you're coming from.

I truly wish you the best of luck! smile


I should be more detailed. I had no other way of ending things because we were long distance and I definitely didn't want to do it over text. How rude would that be? Thanks again! smile
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Telephone...?
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...as in calling her.
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Posted by Arielle83
You don't have staying power when you don't get attention so you hurt the person and reject them so they feel as pathetic as you.

Then you want them back when you're fucked up actions don't go you're way.


GROW UP.


Hey, no need to bash me love. I already feel bad for my actions alright? If you read my post, I explained that we were long distance therefore communication is VERY important. It's all we had until we got together face-to-face. But thanks for your input anyway!
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Posted by HappyCapper
...as in calling her.

Good point! I feel like a complete jack a** Sad

Thanks again!
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Posted by Arielle83
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Arielle83
You don't have staying power when you don't get attention so you hurt the person and reject them so they feel as pathetic as you.

Then you want them back when you're fucked up actions don't go you're way.


GROW UP.


Hey, no need to bash me love. I already feel bad for my actions alright? If you read my post, I explained that we were long distance therefore communication is VERY important. It's all we had until we got together face-to-face. But thanks for your input anyway!

Yet that's exactly what your actions were so how am I bashing you when those were the actions you chose to take. You have an excuse though, long distance, so that makes it okay to put someone far away from you in a shitty situation and leave their mind flooded with uncertainty.

Then you come out with the vacant future promises.

You must be young is all I'm saying because your ego needs attention and your distance makes you insecure.

You still don't have staying power, because you've proved when you don't get your needs met you are an emotional vampire and leave your love object with a broken heart.

You don't deserve them.
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I am young. I know that I still have a lot of growing and learning to do. And you're absolutely right, I don't deserve her. I get it, I'm a jack ass. Sad
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Posted by elllesque
she also conceded very quickly......consider the fact that you probably did her a favour.....as in she didn't have to do it herself.

if she cared....she may not have let you go so easily and tried to talk it out.

That's true. If I lost her, best believe I know that it's my fault.
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Posted by elllesque
you know you can't keep those promises.

I'm not being negative. nobody can realistically keep those promises all the time.

you are setting yourself up to fail because she WILL hold you to them.




I'm going to try. Those promises are significant to me because not only were those things she complained about in our relationship, I've also had family and friends to complain about those things as well.
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With out even reading all this crap... It is Capricorn retro... hello... it starts on the 5 of Jane... So this is perfect timing for you to be thinking like this... lol

And just to be honest even if you win her back... at the end of the year there is another one... It is obvious it is not or should not work out between you two. Do yourself and her self a favor... consider what the over all karmatic flow needs, which is undoubtably for you not to be together. If you really care you would let it go.

PM
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If she gives me another chance and I'm praying she does, I'm going to try to think about think about things from her point of view. You know, try to walk in her shoes before I open my mouth. I'm not going to bring up old situations that we have already resolved.
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Posted by piscesmoon2
With out even reading all this crap... It is Capricorn retro... hello... it starts on the 5 of Jane... So this is perfect timing for you to be thinking like this... lol

And just to be honest even if you win her back... at the end of the year there is another one... It is obvious it is not or should not work out between you two. Do yourself and her self a favor... consider what the over all karmatic flow needs, which is undoubtably for you not to be together. If you really care you would let it go.

PM

I always like to hope, but thanks for your insight!
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It most definitely will make a difference. I'm working on it as we speak. I appreciate the help and advice from everyone! smile
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Posted by truecap
Thats a lot of promises you made. Hope you can stick to it. If you fail to follow through on anything you wrote in that letter, she will be done for good. Caps say what they mean and mean what they say and we expect you to do the same.

I agree with HappyCapper. Caps are in it for the long haul regardless of what we do and those who quit easily aren't high on our respect list.

All that said, give her time. Time to process. Time to think. Time to decide if she wants to try again. Give it a week and if you haven't heard from her, then reach out in a friendly way.


@TrueCap I truly appreciate your advice. Your words have been really comforting to me smile
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Posted by champranger
Posted by Chelsey07
It most definitely will make a difference. I'm working on it as we speak. I appreciate the help and advice from everyone! smile

Good luck! smile
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Thanks love! smile Fingers crossed guys!
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From now on, if I ever get a heartfelt text/email/letter from a guy, I'm totally googling that shit verbatim to see if they've posted it on message forums.
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Posted by Andalusia
From now on, if I ever get a heartfelt text/email/letter from a guy, I'm totally googling that shit verbatim to see if they've posted it on message forums.

My apology was my own words and from my heart love. I'm insulted.
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Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Andalusia
From now on, if I ever get a heartfelt text/email/letter from a guy, I'm totally googling that shit verbatim to see if they've posted it on message forums.

My apology was my own words and from my heart love. I'm insulted.
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I wasn't doubting the authenticity or implying you stole it.
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Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Andalusia
From now on, if I ever get a heartfelt text/email/letter from a guy, I'm totally googling that shit verbatim to see if they've posted it on message forums.

My apology was my own words and from my heart love. I'm insulted.

I wasn't doubting the authenticity or implying you stole it.
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Well, that's how I took it. Sorry.
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Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Andalusia
From now on, if I ever get a heartfelt text/email/letter from a guy, I'm totally googling that shit verbatim to see if they've posted it on message forums.

My apology was my own words and from my heart love. I'm insulted.

I wasn't doubting the authenticity or implying you stole it.

Well, that's how I took it. Sorry.
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I took it as to make sure [he] didn't steal it from you. Winking
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Posted by truecap
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Andalusia
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by Andalusia
From now on, if I ever get a heartfelt text/email/letter from a guy, I'm totally googling that shit verbatim to see if they've posted it on message forums.

My apology was my own words and from my heart love. I'm insulted.

I wasn't doubting the authenticity or implying you stole it.

Well, that's how I took it. Sorry.

I took it as to make sure [he] didn't steal it from you. Winking
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Ahhh okay. Thanks again! smile
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I was implying that posting a seemingly heartfelt, personal letter verbatim - inside jokes and all - on a public Internet forum kinda takes the "heartfelt" and "personal" aspect out of it. I have a few Caps as friends and they are pretty private people.. I can only imagine how private they are romantically.

Asking for opinions and advice is why most of us are here. And don't get me wrong, I've posted some somewhat personal anecdotes from my real life on here, so I am in no position to throw stones.

But IMO, the root issue here, which has already been touched on - is attention - your need for a certain level of it and her inability or unwillingness to cater to that in a way or amount that you are comfortable with. That could be me filtering your story thru my own experience, so take it with a grain of salt. But it is what it is.

Posting that letter unprompted just glaringly illustrates that point. You state *what* you are going to do differently, but not *how*. Not to mention the fact that you posted it at all.. attention is obviously a need of yours, not a preference. why on earth would you promise to change your needs?
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by Andalusia
why on earth would you promise to change your needs?

This. You said it a lot better than I was trying to.

Sag, you might want to spend some time on the Sag board. The behaviour of yours that you describe and "family and friends" say you need to "work" on is the very essence of "sag" and you should embrace that instead of trying to change that for a partner who could quite possibly have zero tolerance for it, making you constantly feel less than or a failure.
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Great idea! I'll go check out their board soon. I guess I was trying to change myself for her. It just cut me to my core when she told me I was selfish and when I talked to my family and friends about the "selfish" remark, they seemed to agree. It's shocking because I've never seen myself as a selfish person and it's not necessarily something that I want to embrace. I want to be known as a giving and free-hearted person...not selfish. I definitely need to reevaluate the entire situation. Since we've been broken up, I've been doing a lot of thinking and this is making me think even more.

Thank you!
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Posted by elllesque
A lot of times you have to wade through other people's opinions of you because they can simply be projections of themselves.

The key is to step back and look at those situations objectively. That will bring self awareness to you and help you separate what is your 'stuff' and what is really theirs. Don't automatically take on all the ownership or people will run all over you.

We all have a level of selfishness and I personally don't see issue with that.

You felt unloved....you spoke up about it....and then it was twisted around to deflect the issue....and you defended yourself the only way you knew how.

A healthy minded partner would have been able to see what the root of the problem was....or at least made an attempt to meet you half way and talk it out.

I sense this is a pattern between them though. Not just an isolated incident. I could be wrong though.

And breaking up just to try and make up 2 days later seems childish and impulsive (both traits I can relate to internally... I've never done ^^that, but I can def showcase those traits from time to time).

True, OP acted in the only way she knew how. But perhaps the ex was just doing the same thing?
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Posted by elllesque
A lot of times you have to wade through other people's opinions of you because they can simply be projections of themselves.

The key is to step back and look at those situations objectively. That will bring self awareness to you and help you separate what is your 'stuff' and what is really theirs. Don't automatically take on all the ownership or people will run all over you.

We all have a level of selfishness and I personally don't see issue with that.

You felt unloved....you spoke up about it....and then it was twisted around to deflect the issue....and you defended yourself the only way you knew how.

A healthy minded partner would have been able to see what the root of the problem was....or at least made an attempt to meet you half way and talk it out.


God, it's like you're reading my mind. I needed this. Thank you.

I still feel like I was wrong because she explained everything that was going on in her life (law school, getting a new place and a second car, her job, and possibly enrolling into the police academy) and why we wouldn't be able to talk as much, but it would be 3 and 4 days at a time before I would hear from her.
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@elllesque. Ahh... gotcha. I smell what you're stepping in now.. I'm picking up what you're putting down. Big Grin
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Posted by elllesque
OP, if she had that much on her plate, you were probably slipping as a priority.

When that happens, unfortunatley, you have to step back and do you.

It's a leap of faith, really....because you don't know where she will be when all of those things come to fruition. She may have eventually showed you the exit anyway.

With all this going on, did she make any verbal indication that you would fit in there somewhere eventually....physically....not just long distance?



Yes, we only live 3 hours away from each other and we would be attending the same school. I knew once we could physically see each other that things would get better. I'd be less impatient and we would be fine. At least I thought.
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Posted by elllesque
Yes, breaking up in a huff and trying to make up a few days later is childish...we just don't know why she was pushed to this point. Obviously there had to have been a series of issues that pushed her to that level of "Look at me, I am hurting! Hear me!".

I am not saying that is okay. There are more mature ways of handing this....however, we still don't know if other ways were approached and the OP was just called "selfish" or other words when trying to express herself

I am saying the cap.....instead of just saying..."okay, have a nice life!".....if the sag was of any real value in her life....could have put her ego aside and said...."Hey, let's talk about where these feelings are coming from maybe we can figure this out together."

It "is" a relationship and sometimes there are difficult parts that need to be gotten through. However, both people have to put equal value and seriousness on it to make it through. They both have to give some fucks...lol.



Oh @elllesque and @Andalusia, you're both reading my mind. I gave so much of myself for her to the point that I forgot to care about myself. The things I said to her weren't mean or nasty. I calmly explained that with us being long distance, communication is super important because that's all we have until we can be together. The distance was only temporary, so I was hoping that she could meet me halfway. (This comment is for @elllesque)

You're absolutely right. This was a reoccurring factor in our relationship...only twice (this would be the second time) but nonetheless, reoccurring. I'd try to have a discussion with her about something that can be improved in our relationship and she wouldn't take it well. I can tell that it hurt her and I never meant to unintentionally hurt her. (This comment is for @Andalusia)
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by elllesque
OP, if she had that much on her plate, you were probably slipping as a priority.

When that happens, unfortunatley, you have to step back and do you.

It's a leap of faith, really....because you don't know where she will be when all of those things come to fruition. She may have eventually showed you the exit anyway.

With all this going on, did she make any verbal indication that you would fit in there somewhere eventually....physically....not just long distance?



Yes, we only live 3 hours away from each other and we would be attending the same school. I knew once we could physically see each other that things would get better. I'd be less impatient and we would be fine. At least I thought.

Okay, those were 'your' plans....what promises did she make to you?
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She promised date nights, to make time for me once we were together, and that things would better between us once we were actually together.
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Posted by elllesque
She needs a @DMV bootcamp. Tongue

I hate seeing sags diminishing their beautiful value in this world. smile

I don't want to diminish my value. So I should accept my Sagittarius ways huh Winking?
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Posted by elllesque
Did you ever meet her face to face?

Yes, we met once for my birthday that had just passed. She asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her I wasn't expecting a present, but I'd love it if she came to see me for my birthday...so she made the 3 hour trip to see me and we spent the entire day together. Everything was great. We sat and talked (but mostly smiled and I cried a little...I was so happy to see her) about our lives and our relationship and how we would keep things fresh, etc.
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Posted by elllesque
I don't want to project too much of my own experience on you...but I can say from personal experience...

When a cap cares, you can feel it over every inch of your body.....and when they stop caring.....you can feel that just as strongly.

When they care, they make time every day....even if they just have a few minutes of free time.

When they care, they are very aware of your feelings and handle them with kid gloves.

When they don't care anymore...and they can stop quite abruptly for a variety of reasons....

You almost instantly realise you are not a priority anymore. The communication gets choppy. They become a lot less patient and a lot more silent.

They will start pulling away, but they will not likely break up with you....they will display behaviour that puts you in a position to break up and be the 'bad guy'.

Then they will pull the 'friend' card, which makes it confusing because you broke up with them and they appear so apathetic and uncaring.....a total mindfuck, for sure.

More than likely, she was probably relieved.




Oh I felt it! When we first began dating, there were good morning texts, calls during her and my lunch breaks, late night conversations that would go on for hours, and skype "dates" until 4 and 5 AM. It was great. She noticed when something was wrong with me or if something rubbed me the wrong way. She was so reassuring. It seems like as soon as I brought up something that I felt like could be improved between us, she changed like the wind. She;s a great girl, but I'm thinking that she's so used to calling the shots in the relationship that she didn't know how to handle me bringing up a problem. I bruised her ego.

Maybe she is relieved...I'm not. I'm the one left with the broken heart and in tears. I'm not discounting her feelings in any way but, she did turn it on me to make me look like I was the "bad guy".
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by elllesque
Did you ever meet her face to face?

Yes, we met once for my birthday that had just passed. She asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her I wasn't expecting a present, but I'd love it if she came to see me for my birthday...so she made the 3 hour trip to see me and we spent the entire day together. Everything was great. We sat and talked (but mostly smiled and I cried a little...I was so happy to see her) about our lives and our relationship and how we would keep things fresh, etc.

Did this start happening, the choppy communication, after you met face to face....or before?
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The choppy communication has nothing to do with when we met face to face. The choppy communication came from something I said and it's like we went downhill from there.
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Posted by elllesque
...and why they do this is a mystery. Everyone of them have a different chart and are more than 'capricorn' which creates different triggers.

They have to tell you the 'why' part.

All I can do is describe what it looks and feels from those standing on the outside looking 'in' and going through the experience as a not-a-cap.


It is indeed a mystery. I'm not gonna lie, I'm surprised at myself for even going through all of this with and for her. I've never done this for any of my ex girlfriends and here I am getting all bent out of shape about her. Woo-hoo....silent treatment...yay.
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by elllesque
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by elllesque
Did you ever meet her face to face?

Yes, we met once for my birthday that had just passed. She asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her I wasn't expecting a present, but I'd love it if she came to see me for my birthday...so she made the 3 hour trip to see me and we spent the entire day together. Everything was great. We sat and talked (but mostly smiled and I cried a little...I was so happy to see her) about our lives and our relationship and how we would keep things fresh, etc.

Did this start happening, the choppy communication, after you met face to face....or before?

The choppy communication has nothing to do with when we met face to face. The choppy communication came from something I said and it's like we went downhill from there.

That's fair. It appears she wanted to control and compartmentalise the relationship and you were stepping out of line. Does sound like a bruised ego.
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BINGO my dear! I forgot that we're both dominant and want control...not abusive control, but we want to call the shots and have someone follow our lead. Lord, I'm gonna have me a time lol
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Posted by elllesque
Posted by Chelsey07
Posted by elllesque
...and why they do this is a mystery. Everyone of them have a different chart and are more than 'capricorn' which creates different triggers.

They have to tell you the 'why' part.

All I can do is describe what it looks and feels from those standing on the outside looking 'in' and going through the experience as a not-a-cap.


It is indeed a mystery. I'm not gonna lie, I'm surprised at myself for even going through all of this with and for her. I've never done this for any of my ex girlfriends and here I am getting all bent out of shape about her. Woo-hoo....silent treatment...yay.

Lol....I know the feeling. I have been to that amusement park. Puked a few times after the roller coaster ride. Tongue
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Lol not puking now. I'm taking this breakup terribly though. I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I haven't stopped thinking about her.
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Thank you. That was really touching. I appreciate it smile
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Just give her time im sure shell contact you when she is ready.
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Posted by Leyla00
Just give her time im sure shell contact you when she is ready.

I hope...maybe.
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@busyeyes88 you're right. Thanks for the advice everyone!
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Hi Op, i totally understand as i'm also a Sag. Sometimes my Cap pisses me off so much with his rude and condescending attitude when we argue that I have stormed out probably 10 times Sad

Stems from me feeling like he doesn't want me around. He never says it but his actions or inactions (silence, wanting to separate, stubborn unwillingness to compromise) during arguments causes me to feel that way.

I remember the first time i stormed off and "broke up" with him, he was surprised when we talked again saying "stick to your guns". Think that's how he is.

Now he never says that, guess he understands me and hopefully himself more. When we argue now we will separate (one in the living room, one in the other room).

So to answer your question further, i think a Cap will come back and try again if they love you. Mine says everytime we fight and I leave, he feels sick to his stomach until things are alright btween us again. I don't make promises to the moon and back, instead i try to compromise so we can avoid future problems. It takes two.

It's good that you are reflective on your part, but don't forget that you felt you two weren't talking enough. Seems to me that Sag and Cap have this problem. I think mine is way too cold and not fun, it is frustrating sometimes.
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Being a Capricorn woman, i usually do everything immediately. If I take 3 days to get back to you I'm not interested and just trying to run away from the situation until thrown face first into it. She's not interested, capricorns know what they want and they go after it.

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