Gemini Ex BF and I had a huge fight - He made a mountain out of a molehill

This topic was created in the Gemini forum by fkpkr on Friday, October 16, 2015 and has 24 replies.
Dating this gemini guy for almost 3 years. Then I found out that he went on a trip with a platonic girl friend - which is a huge taboo in their culture. I asked him how come he didn't tell me when I was with him just the night before his trip. I have nothing against him going on trip even with a girll, what really annoyed me is when he took it against me when I told him that it's a taboo in their culture. And the fact that he didn't tell me right away. Guy unfriended me in Facebook. I tried to apologize but he blocked my calls and said he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat.

He said the girl is not his girl friend and that the girl knew about me... so why on earth would he hide the travel from me?

I know Geminis can be stubborn and I find it annoying how this quarrel blew out of proportion. I don't even know if we'll be able to fix this. Fight has been going on for weeks, he won't nudge. He knows he is wrong so why take it against me and reverse it in such a way that he makes it appear I'm the one who is wrong.
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Posted by fkpkr
Dating this gemini guy for almost 3 years. Then I found out that he went on a trip with a platonic girl friend - which is a huge taboo in their culture. I asked him how come he didn't tell me when I was with him just the night before his trip. I have nothing against him going on trip even with a girll, what really annoyed me is when he took it against me when I told him that it's a taboo in their culture. And the fact that he didn't tell me right away. Guy unfriended me in Facebook. I tried to apologize but he blocked my calls and said he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat.

He said the girl is not his girl friend and that the girl knew about me... so why on earth would he hide the travel from me?

I know Geminis can be stubborn and I find it annoying how this quarrel blew out of proportion. I don't even know if we'll be able to fix this. Fight has been going on for weeks, he won't nudge. He knows he is wrong so why take it against me and reverse it in such a way that he makes it appear I'm the one who is wrong.

Wow, ummm he acts guilty, or just plain irrational/crazy cuz that's waay overreacting so what else is going on?
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Posted by LittleStar
You say "dating" for 3 years. Is that a relationship or just hanging out?

It could be that you offended him by assuming that you knew his culture better than him.

we were living together
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This doesn't make any sense...you were living together then this happens and he moves out!?
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Posted by Moonbutter
Posted by fkpkr
Dating this gemini guy for almost 3 years. Then I found out that he went on a trip with a platonic girl friend - which is a huge taboo in their culture. I asked him how come he didn't tell me when I was with him just the night before his trip. I have nothing against him going on trip even with a girll, what really annoyed me is when he took it against me when I told him that it's a taboo in their culture. And the fact that he didn't tell me right away. Guy unfriended me in Facebook. I tried to apologize but he blocked my calls and said he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat.

He said the girl is not his girl friend and that the girl knew about me... so why on earth would he hide the travel from me?

I know Geminis can be stubborn and I find it annoying how this quarrel blew out of proportion. I don't even know if we'll be able to fix this. Fight has been going on for weeks, he won't nudge. He knows he is wrong so why take it against me and reverse it in such a way that he makes it appear I'm the one who is wrong.

Wow, ummm he acts guilty, or just plain irrational/crazy cuz that's waay overreacting so what else is going on?
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they're indian so it's a huge huge taboo. i found out because the girl kept on tagging him in facebook. he typically hides his posts in his wall. but this time he showed her tags.
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Posted by Moonbutter
This doesn't make any sense...you were living together then this happens and he moves out!?

i moved out. was living with him.
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freakin guy even told me he wanted to break up with me for a long time already
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and he just said it after his trip
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Posted by BlackMamba
Obviously cheating. What an ahoke

He's going to regret it. I'll make sure. I'm a Libra with Scorpio moon. We can be peacelovers but we seek justice. I don't just get mad, I get even. No I don't get even I can do something worse. His family never knew about the fact that he went to travel with just one girl and it will be chaos if they found out. I know because he reacted by saying "don't you dare even involve my family here". Wrong answer, now I know what to do. I haven't done it yet, but at least I know I have an ace. I'm just trying to hold myself because I know he could be disowned.
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Posted by Lust
It's not worth spending more energy for this guy. It's good that you move out. The best revenge is to ignore him, delete him completely out of your life.
Just think of this as a blessing, you are not married to him so you can easily move on.
Before you do anything to get even with him, take a moment to pause, and chill. You don't want to do anything that you may regret later on. Family is family, they forgive soon or later. But your bad action, people will never forget. Let justice done by itself.
You'll be alright, trust your inner voice.

Dang Lust, I think that's the best advice I ever seen from you! Totally agree!
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Posted by Lust
It's not worth spending more energy for this guy. It's good that you move out. The best revenge is to ignore him, delete him completely out of your life.
Just think of this as a blessing, you are not married to him so you can easily move on.
Before you do anything to get even with him, take a moment to pause, and chill. You don't want to do anything that you may regret later on. Family is family, they forgive soon or later. But your bad action, people will never forget. Let justice done by itself.
You'll be alright, trust your inner voice.

yes i agree, that's what i keep on telling myself because i dont want to do something i would regret. i did pester him about it, but i can't blame myself. i was hurt and felt betrayed. i just told him everything i felt, and i mean everything. then i deleted him in all.
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Posted by Moonbutter
Posted by Lust
It's not worth spending more energy for this guy. It's good that you move out. The best revenge is to ignore him, delete him completely out of your life.
Just think of this as a blessing, you are not married to him so you can easily move on.
Before you do anything to get even with him, take a moment to pause, and chill. You don't want to do anything that you may regret later on. Family is family, they forgive soon or later. But your bad action, people will never forget. Let justice done by itself.
You'll be alright, trust your inner voice.

Dang Lust, I think that's the best advice I ever seen from you! Totally agree!
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i agree with lust too. i'm deeply hurt though.
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Posted by Rambunctious76
Posted by fkpkr
Posted by BlackMamba
Obviously cheating. What an ahoke

He's going to regret it. I'll make sure. I'm a Libra with Scorpio moon. We can be peacelovers but we seek justice. I don't just get mad, I get even.

And you wonder why he has distanced himself to the point of blocking you?

You're wasting your time and precious life plotting revenge against him. If he was really cheating or doing something wrong, those will eventually catch up with him. If he did nothing wrong, you will both get clarification for it.

From one Scorpio moon to another, carrying out acts of revenge is a very temporary measure and may even result in a boomerang effect for you. The worst thing a Scorpio moon can do to someone who has hurt him/her, is to become indifferent to that person almost to a point of non-existence.
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we bark a lot but we barely follow up with a bite. words are actually are weapon. and yes it's the crazy scorpio moon and imbalanced hormones!
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Posted by fkpkr
Dating this gemini guy for almost 3 years. Then I found out that he went on a trip with a platonic girl friend - which is a huge taboo in their culture. I asked him how come he didn't tell me when I was with him just the night before his trip. I have nothing against him going on trip even with a girll, what really annoyed me is when he took it against me when I told him that it's a taboo in their culture. And the fact that he didn't tell me right away. Guy unfriended me in Facebook. I tried to apologize but he blocked my calls and said he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat.

He said the girl is not his girl friend and that the girl knew about me... so why on earth would he hide the travel from me?

I know Geminis can be stubborn and I find it annoying how this quarrel blew out of proportion. I don't even know if we'll be able to fix this. Fight has been going on for weeks, he won't nudge. He knows he is wrong so why take it against me and reverse it in such a way that he makes it appear I'm the one who is wrong.

You and I should get together and have coffee and discuss the do's and dont's where it comes to Libra and Gem. If I wasn't going through something identical, I would be less biased. You must have done something to really anger him. Still, regardless of Lib or Gem, both sides should be able to discuss an issue, not cowardly run away.
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At first I was thinking ...... what fucking dickhead.

And when you said "he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat." ..... you had your viewing audience believing that he was acting guilty.

Until you let this paramount information slip ....




Posted by fkpkr

I don't just get mad, I get even. No I don't get even I can do something worse. His family never knew about the fact that he went to travel with just one girl and it will be chaos if they found out. I know because he reacted by saying "don't you dare even involve my family here". Wrong answer, now I know what to do.




Then everything become crystal clear.


You do try and intimidate him, the situation ..... and how he is treating you, is how you taught him to treat you, by threats, just as he stated.

Considering the term of the relationship, and that you haven't earned respect and trust .... and you're still there, playing along in this game .. only to go whining about it to a forum of random people - shows you have no intentions of actually developing an honest relationship, rather you just want to be validated for being a fuck up.

It is his bad that he most likely cheated on you .... but, the Universe comes calling on people. It's just a matter of when/how.


Instead of picking of the pieces and moving away from this ..... you choose to be vindictive, and so continue in the game.

And that's your bad ... own it !!!
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Posted by gemguyaz34
Posted by fkpkr
Dating this gemini guy for almost 3 years. Then I found out that he went on a trip with a platonic girl friend - which is a huge taboo in their culture. I asked him how come he didn't tell me when I was with him just the night before his trip. I have nothing against him going on trip even with a girll, what really annoyed me is when he took it against me when I told him that it's a taboo in their culture. And the fact that he didn't tell me right away. Guy unfriended me in Facebook. I tried to apologize but he blocked my calls and said he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat.

He said the girl is not his girl friend and that the girl knew about me... so why on earth would he hide the travel from me?

I know Geminis can be stubborn and I find it annoying how this quarrel blew out of proportion. I don't even know if we'll be able to fix this. Fight has been going on for weeks, he won't nudge. He knows he is wrong so why take it against me and reverse it in such a way that he makes it appear I'm the one who is wrong.

You and I should get together and have coffee and discuss the do's and dont's where it comes to Libra and Gem. If I wasn't going through something identical, I would be less biased. You must have done something to really anger him. Still, regardless of Lib or Gem, both sides should be able to discuss an issue, not cowardly run away.
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i know right, i welcome all the help - in the end it's going to help me. if not with him but for personal learning experience. of course i want this to get fixed. i really want to resolve this. we're just not understanding each other right now because we're both upset. it's that compromise we need to learn. i just tell myself maybe this fight really had to happen so we can realize what we have both been doing wrong. we both have stubborn nature. everything i bottled, i just made sure i vented and released everything and shown him how frustrated and angry i was. this is the biggest fight we had ever and he is insisting on telling me to move on. so now i'm ignoring him and keeping myself busy. i know the wrong things i did, he did something to hurt me as well. but it's useless right now to talk to him. and now i have to celebrate my bday without him because of this fight. this fight affected me so much - that even my medical condition worsened. that's why it pains me to the core and it brought out all the negative emotions in me.

will this get fixed hopefully yes. will we get back together, i don't know anymore.
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Posted by P-Angel
At first I was thinking ...... what fucking dickhead.

And when you said "he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat." ..... you had your viewing audience believing that he was acting guilty.

Until you let this paramount information slip ....




Posted by fkpkr

I don't just get mad, I get even. No I don't get even I can do something worse. His family never knew about the fact that he went to travel with just one girl and it will be chaos if they found out. I know because he reacted by saying "don't you dare even involve my family here". Wrong answer, now I know what to do.




Then everything become crystal clear.


You do try and intimidate him, the situation ..... and how he is treating you, is how you taught him to treat you, by threats, just as he stated.

Considering the term of the relationship, and that you haven't earned respect and trust .... and you're still there, playing along in this game .. only to go whining about it to a forum of random people - shows you have no intentions of actually developing an honest relationship, rather you just want to be validated for being a fuck up.

It is his bad that he most likely cheated on you .... but, the Universe comes calling on people. It's just a matter of when/how.


Instead of picking of the pieces and moving away from this ..... you choose to be vindictive, and so continue in the game.

And that's your bad ... own it !!!
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whoever said i wanted to validate him as a treetrunk? he can be very open but there are some things he just choose to not talk about - especially this fight. he knows what i'm going through medically and it really heightens my bouts of depression and anxiety... i've been more sensitive about things, it felt like we didn't understand each other.
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Posted by littlemegabyte
I think it would be logical to assume that there was something more-than-platonic going on between him and this other woman. For what other reason would he not br honest with you about it? And doesn't want his family to know?

Whenever a guy tells you to move on.... have enough respect for yourself to do that....

i'll move on i just need to deal with all the negative emotions that come with it. it's just all heightened right now. but i know i'll be fine in no time.

in a logical perspective you will really presume that there is something more, but he is insisting that there is nothing and that it is all in my head - uhm whatever!
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Wow you were living together and he didn't even bother to tell you he was going away on a trip? Who cares who it was even with, it just seems when you live with someone you know each other's daily lives/ins and outs/comings and goings.

If he had been like "hey so and so and I are gonna go here together just so you know" or "is it ok with you?" that's one thing, but he didn't bother telling you (red flag #1), got super defensive when you brought it up (red flag #2), deleted you on social networking (red flag #3) and was so quick to want to end a three year relationship over this...I would say he is doing YOU a favor. He sounds immature.
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And yes he sounds like a stubborn Gemini who knows he's wrong and doesn't want to deal with the real life repercussions of his actions. I would have done the same thing when I was younger and a little selfish asshole.
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Posted by fkpkr
Dating this gemini guy for almost 3 years. Then I found out that he went on a trip with a platonic girl friend - which is a huge taboo in their culture. I asked him how come he didn't tell me when I was with him just the night before his trip. I have nothing against him going on trip even with a girll, what really annoyed me is when he took it against me when I told him that it's a taboo in their culture. And the fact that he didn't tell me right away. Guy unfriended me in Facebook. I tried to apologize but he blocked my calls and said he doesn't want to deal with me anymore because he finds me threatening. He thinks every time I raise something to him, he considers it as a threat.

He said the girl is not his girl friend and that the girl knew about me... so why on earth would he hide the travel from me?

I know Geminis can be stubborn and I find it annoying how this quarrel blew out of proportion. I don't even know if we'll be able to fix this. Fight has been going on for weeks, he won't nudge. He knows he is wrong so why take it against me and reverse it in such a way that he makes it appear I'm the one who is wrong.

No molehill....this was building for a long time with the gem....he wanted to get away from you for a long time. With a gem a person gets a long rope and one day you realize that you have come to the end of it. Gems generally don't like confrontation when it comes to personal issues unless really pushed, but will welcome it for those who they care about or the underdog.

You come across as a bully, so he might not have cheated on you but there is definitely some betrayal there on his part. Seems like he wanted to get away from you and him going away with a platonic female friend probably helped him to not become bitter against women which is a good thing. Too much negativity is like death to a gem.

OP, not sure what kind of advice you are seeking because his behaviour towards you in the end is so drastic, vent if you have to but move on. Something good will come out of this for you....focus on that rather than wasting your energy on thoughts of vengeance.
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The fact that this is a 3 year relationship and you haven't even gained trust or respect yet AND you are still with him, accepting how worthless you are to him ..... means you deserve everything happening to you with him because that's what you earned.


A woman of value and standards would act like it ... you act like a self entitled douchebag, who's only desire is to play a power/attention game.


But, that will fly over your head ... because you'd have to have enough brain cells to be able to get that. So, continue in your world of stupidity, and when this guy has finally used you enough ... there's a million more out there, in where you can still be the idiot.

So, enjoy what is coming to you ..... it sounds like you've put a lot of effort into it's arrival.
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P-Angel just needs to go back to her bridge. Very bitter that one is.
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Posted by gemguyaz34
P-Angel just needs to go back to her bridge. Very bitter that one is.

lol that's fine. i'm not really bothered by p-angel's words. she doesn't know the WHOLE story as well as the past events. i had my mistakes, he had his also. if i come across as threatening, it's because part of me felt threatened, too. i forgave myself for my mistakes and impulsive decisions. i'm trying to understand the guy as well.

do i want to talk to him about it? of course i do. but i guess he's really just a dismissive avoidant and would rather avoid and hurt me than face discussions (avoidants find discussions and confrontations as threats) and probably the closure i need is something i will just have to give to myself.

btw gemguyaz, I sent you a message. smile
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