Letting go scorpios!!!
actually it's not the fluctuation that bothered me; it was the emotional tug-o'-war I was in with her; she was great at everything else though; I think I just had to do a little growing. I can't stand dysfunction of emotional kind, and she would fault-find with my 'airy atitude'; said I was to intellectual, and detatched. I told her, I coming from my mind more than my heart, and I need to attach mentally first, then everything else would come; seems she couldn't wait.
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to come on really strong in the beginning and then back off abruptly? like go from talking everyday to maybe every few days or so. i know he just doesn't like to talk on the phone...but then we will be on there and he will talk for an hour. and he does most of the talking. the emails have dwindled too and are not as sweet as in the beginning. i am sure this may have to do with "laying on the charm" and then once they have charmed you...the real person comes out. its not unusual in any relationship. i guess that i am seeing the aloof aqua now. if i make contact, he always replies promptly or apologizes for not getting back sooner, and is very nice and glad to hear from me. there just seems to be more distance.
You know, that makes a lot of sense. And I wish I've known that as they were growing ?up. YET, I resent the comment, ?You are just like him, in a sense?. No, I assume you, we are different and 'in a way this is primarily your fault'?now that's just B.S?im sorry.
Honestly, I wish I had the time-out to read your thoughts & opinions before I visited her earlier. As I look back, I honestly know I made it worser??
?Sable, you need to cut this relationship out??..? How dare you sit-up a allow him to fill you up & brain wash you w/, ?I love you?, ?Im just going though something?, ?I'm sorry, I didn't know?..genre of bull shit. How the fuck are you going to ?NOT know? you were abusing someone and made them lose their child????If you cut this guy out of your life, you will feel a lot better??.?Obvisously, this guy is sick."..."You souldn't be around this shit??..?. What the fuck is wrong w/ you? We didn't raise you to be this foolish, why are you so addicted to this jack-ass? IT'S OVER, don't you get it??stop it!?
I REALLY didn't mean the lecture her again. I just tried to be the spine she is missing.
I've always saught Sable to be more like the older me?Needing help, but too subborn to ask for it, figuring out the problem alone, willing to walk to the edge of the earth to find the ?hard? solution, instead of the easy route. And my youngest, Madison, more like the much much younger me,..simply stubborn, smart-mouth, lighting up to the term ?hotties & parties?, competitive, spicy, livin' a fast life, flirty, & just like a youngster. That wasn't the case I, now, see. They wasn't like me at all, they just didn't want to come to me. I foolishly thought that I was their only?protection?, when I saw them disreguard my usage, I thought they were me.
It's hard to except, all these years I spent, making an attempt to correctly raise my kids, where only in vain. I'm kinda the real cause of their down-falls. I can bearly forgive my-self for the, not raising, just dominance of my kids lives, thoughts, actions, & beliefs. I really feel glum for Madison's results. I had always taught her to ?Fight the pusher, don't let a soul tell you what you want out of life??ironically, I was the ?pusher? and her biggest fighting challenge.
I will take the advice to ease off the problem, YET, i will not idly sit by while this jack-ass abuse my daughter, and she not reporting it to authorities. I still feel the need to murder the guy..seriously.
Honestly, I wish I had the time-out to read your thoughts & opinions before I visited her earlier. As I look back, I honestly know I made it worser??
?Sable, you need to cut this relationship out??..? How dare you sit-up a allow him to fill you up & brain wash you w/, ?I love you?, ?Im just going though something?, ?I'm sorry, I didn't know?..genre of bull shit. How the fuck are you going to ?NOT know? you were abusing someone and made them lose their child????If you cut this guy out of your life, you will feel a lot better??.?Obvisously, this guy is sick."..."You souldn't be around this shit??..?. What the fuck is wrong w/ you? We didn't raise you to be this foolish, why are you so addicted to this jack-ass? IT'S OVER, don't you get it??stop it!?
I REALLY didn't mean the lecture her again. I just tried to be the spine she is missing.
I've always saught Sable to be more like the older me?Needing help, but too subborn to ask for it, figuring out the problem alone, willing to walk to the edge of the earth to find the ?hard? solution, instead of the easy route. And my youngest, Madison, more like the much much younger me,..simply stubborn, smart-mouth, lighting up to the term ?hotties & parties?, competitive, spicy, livin' a fast life, flirty, & just like a youngster. That wasn't the case I, now, see. They wasn't like me at all, they just didn't want to come to me. I foolishly thought that I was their only?protection?, when I saw them disreguard my usage, I thought they were me.
It's hard to except, all these years I spent, making an attempt to correctly raise my kids, where only in vain. I'm kinda the real cause of their down-falls. I can bearly forgive my-self for the, not raising, just dominance of my kids lives, thoughts, actions, & beliefs. I really feel glum for Madison's results. I had always taught her to ?Fight the pusher, don't let a soul tell you what you want out of life??ironically, I was the ?pusher? and her biggest fighting challenge.
I will take the advice to ease off the problem, YET, i will not idly sit by while this jack-ass abuse my daughter, and she not reporting it to authorities. I still feel the need to murder the guy..seriously.
!!!!!!!!!!!
Signed Up: Feb 22, 2006
Comments: 0 · Posts: 2787 · Topics: 83
Comments: 0 · Posts: 2787 · Topics: 83
That is a really tough situation. No one here is really in a position to advise.
She is broken. Having been in an abusive relationship when I was young, it becomes an addiction because you have nothing else to live for. It fills your whole being. It is all that you are.
You have to build her up because she is empty. What she is battling is a feeling of worthlessness. She is trying to win his love by enduring pain. If she can make him love her and stop hurting her, she will be worthy. Everytime she endures pain and isn't rewarded with love from him, she breaks a little more and feels a little less worthy because obviously she has done something.
How do you make her leave?
You can't. It is an addiction. It is an obsession. What you have to do is build her up little by little by little. It isn't really about compliments although it can be, it is really about giving her love, giving her challenges she can complete so she can build herself up. Give her options. Give her choices but ultimetly let her choose and respect her decisions. It is only by making the right choices for herself that she will find self-esteem. You can't give someone self-esteem but you can help down the path.
Perhaps contact a women's shelter or other authority on domestic abuse in your area. Talk to them. Get advise from them and the police.
May you all find peace in this situation.
She is broken. Having been in an abusive relationship when I was young, it becomes an addiction because you have nothing else to live for. It fills your whole being. It is all that you are.
You have to build her up because she is empty. What she is battling is a feeling of worthlessness. She is trying to win his love by enduring pain. If she can make him love her and stop hurting her, she will be worthy. Everytime she endures pain and isn't rewarded with love from him, she breaks a little more and feels a little less worthy because obviously she has done something.
How do you make her leave?
You can't. It is an addiction. It is an obsession. What you have to do is build her up little by little by little. It isn't really about compliments although it can be, it is really about giving her love, giving her challenges she can complete so she can build herself up. Give her options. Give her choices but ultimetly let her choose and respect her decisions. It is only by making the right choices for herself that she will find self-esteem. You can't give someone self-esteem but you can help down the path.
Perhaps contact a women's shelter or other authority on domestic abuse in your area. Talk to them. Get advise from them and the police.
May you all find peace in this situation.
si
yes, it's typical.
Hiya, just going through the boards and posting some info on the signs for each sign. I am up to you guys now! It may or may not fit you guys.. (A lot depends on your birth chart, which we all know.) But for me, mine fit very well.. even if through the first reading, I totally denied it.. hehe but at the end I knew it was pretty damn accurate for me.
Hope you enjoy
::Warning::
It's bit of a reading, oh and the author is listed in the Saggitariius Boards, under Sagi Male and Female, if you are curious.
Hope you enjoy
::Warning::
It's bit of a reading, oh and the author is listed in the Saggitariius Boards, under Sagi Male and Female, if you are curious.
The AQUARIUS Man
All this time the Guard -was looking at her, first through a telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an opera-glass. At last he said, "You're traveling the wrong way,"and shut up the window ...
To wade bravely smack dab into the center of the problem, don't expect an Aquarian male to behave the way people in love are supposed to behave. If you do, you're in for quite a jolt, maybe even a series of jolts. When it comes to friendship, he's all you could ask for in a pal or a confidant. Love? Well, as an Aquarian I once knew said, "Anybody can have a girl. But love is something else again." That was an astute observation. It's "something else," all right, with Aquarians.
It's when he acts as though he doesn't like you that he's close to being hooked, and the reason is elementary- simple logic. The Aquarian water bearer likes everybody. Everyone is his friend. He'll even refer to his worst enemy as "my friend." So it means something when he says he doesn't like someone. Just what it means may take some study. The various nuances can be complicated.
An Aquarian man doesn't want to reveal his true feelings, in spite of his favorite pastime of penetrating the feelings of others. His own reactions and motives are complex, and he intends to keep them that way for the pure pleasure of fooling you. Many strange experiences will come to this man, through both love and friendship, and he'll scrutinize each one avidly. Until you get him to the altar, you're just another experience, another experiment, hard as that may be to take. Don't sniffle. He can be tricked, for all his caution. But before you start tricking him, you'd better try to understand how to cope with his unique outlook about people.
All this time the Guard -was looking at her, first through a telescope, then through a microscope, and then through an opera-glass. At last he said, "You're traveling the wrong way,"and shut up the window ...
To wade bravely smack dab into the center of the problem, don't expect an Aquarian male to behave the way people in love are supposed to behave. If you do, you're in for quite a jolt, maybe even a series of jolts. When it comes to friendship, he's all you could ask for in a pal or a confidant. Love? Well, as an Aquarian I once knew said, "Anybody can have a girl. But love is something else again." That was an astute observation. It's "something else," all right, with Aquarians.
It's when he acts as though he doesn't like you that he's close to being hooked, and the reason is elementary- simple logic. The Aquarian water bearer likes everybody. Everyone is his friend. He'll even refer to his worst enemy as "my friend." So it means something when he says he doesn't like someone. Just what it means may take some study. The various nuances can be complicated.
An Aquarian man doesn't want to reveal his true feelings, in spite of his favorite pastime of penetrating the feelings of others. His own reactions and motives are complex, and he intends to keep them that way for the pure pleasure of fooling you. Many strange experiences will come to this man, through both love and friendship, and he'll scrutinize each one avidly. Until you get him to the altar, you're just another experience, another experiment, hard as that may be to take. Don't sniffle. He can be tricked, for all his caution. But before you start tricking him, you'd better try to understand how to cope with his unique outlook about people.
He's a group man, and teamwork comes naturally to him. Aquarius understands the fair play rules of sports as if he had invented them, and he carries these rules into his personal relationships. His interests are scattered all over the place. That's because his love of people is so impersonal;he gives a certain value to everyone he meets, while the rest of us save such efforts for only the very special people in our lives. To an Aquarian, everyone is special. And I mean everyone. Even those he hasn't met yet. Few Uranus men are either selfish or petty. When he does show those qualities, a gentle reminder that he's being narrow-minded will bring him around. Aquarians just can't stand to be called narrow-minded.
He responds to unusually high ideals, thanks to his rigid moral code (though you'd better understand that it's his own code, which may not necessarily reflect or correspond to the one accepted by society in general). He'll almost surely lead a life of change, controversy and unexpected events. Yet there will often be moments of perfect tranquility with him, impossible to find with any other Sun sign. Once he's over the shock that he's allowed himself to become interested in one woman above all of mankind, he can be an extremely considerate lover. The danger area is before he's over the shock. Since he's so accustomed to neglecting his own problems in the interest of the majority, hopefully some of this attitude will rub off on his love life. Don't count on it, though. The chances are just as good that he'll suddenly realize he's devoting his complete loyalty to you when there are all those other nameless faces out there who need him. Then he may lean over backwards to prove to himself that he hasn't lost his love for his friends and the rest of humanity by being attached to just one person.
He responds to unusually high ideals, thanks to his rigid moral code (though you'd better understand that it's his own code, which may not necessarily reflect or correspond to the one accepted by society in general). He'll almost surely lead a life of change, controversy and unexpected events. Yet there will often be moments of perfect tranquility with him, impossible to find with any other Sun sign. Once he's over the shock that he's allowed himself to become interested in one woman above all of mankind, he can be an extremely considerate lover. The danger area is before he's over the shock. Since he's so accustomed to neglecting his own problems in the interest of the majority, hopefully some of this attitude will rub off on his love life. Don't count on it, though. The chances are just as good that he'll suddenly realize he's devoting his complete loyalty to you when there are all those other nameless faces out there who need him. Then he may lean over backwards to prove to himself that he hasn't lost his love for his friends and the rest of humanity by being attached to just one person.