GemsRaGalsBestPal
@GemsRaGalsBestPal
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini
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Credit Card Fraud
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Which brings me to my question... I can prove that he signed for a credit card transaction without me present and likely deduce he took my wallet, but will the police even give a shit? I live in Houston no less....
What's the best outcome (besides doucebag just returning it to me) I can expect?
What's the best outcome (besides doucebag just returning it to me) I can expect?
Really?
You're shocked that a bartender (no matter how many times you go to the bar and you think you know them) would steal from you?
He dumped the wallet; if he is caught with it he's toast. How he thought charging against your CC would not come back to bite him is beyond me.
You should go into your work and explain that the wallet got taken file a report and tell the cops to question him.
Your employer will understand a lost wallet (once.) So plan ahead Missy. And never rely on the kindest of strangers. No matter how much you think you know them.
You're shocked that a bartender (no matter how many times you go to the bar and you think you know them) would steal from you?
He dumped the wallet; if he is caught with it he's toast. How he thought charging against your CC would not come back to bite him is beyond me.
You should go into your work and explain that the wallet got taken file a report and tell the cops to question him.
Your employer will understand a lost wallet (once.) So plan ahead Missy. And never rely on the kindest of strangers. No matter how much you think you know them.
I agree, at least get a report on file so you can pass that on to your employer.
See if you can re-create all the receipts.
Print out your credit card statement.
I wish we could believe in the kindness of strangers, but unfortunately we can't. I'd like to believe people are basically good, but the older I get the more suspicious I am.
Sorry this happened to you. 😢
See if you can re-create all the receipts.
Print out your credit card statement.
I wish we could believe in the kindness of strangers, but unfortunately we can't. I'd like to believe people are basically good, but the older I get the more suspicious I am.
Sorry this happened to you. 😢
Better file a report to cover your own ass.
The cops most certainly will act-- the state attorney is a different story, entirely.
I'm sure if you let the guy know you will be reporting it stolen because you found out about the cab charge, he'll conveniently find it somewhere.
The cops most certainly will act-- the state attorney is a different story, entirely.
I'm sure if you let the guy know you will be reporting it stolen because you found out about the cab charge, he'll conveniently find it somewhere.
So... UPDATE: I now have my wallet in my hands.
Here's what transpired between then and now:
He responded finally: U where never in my car. U took a cab. Check ur debit card account. (love the terrible ass erigish)
Me: Actually, I already have. Yes indeed, there was cab fare charged to my card, a cab was taken from my house back to ****** (name of bar we were at). you drove my car to my house and then called for a cab. The pickup name was you, the driver remembers only you in the car and yes, my card was used to pay. You signed for that charge. That was the only card in my wallet.
Me again: Listen, I don't really care about the charge right now, all I care about is the return of my wallet. If you'd rather not see me, I'd be happy to send someone to pick it up.
The most important thing is that I locate my passport card and the receipts in the wallet. Again, no questions asked, I just need it returned.
Him: Ur stuff is at ********* (name of other bar, bar that bartender works at, not bar we were actually at that night)
Me: My wallet?
Him: Yes
Me: Great, thank you, I will have someone pick it up.
some time elapses.......... then I get this shit..........
Him: This is his gf, you knew Angel had a gf and seeing this makes you incredibly disgusting. Do not ever contact him again and please do not step into ****** (bar that he works at) or you will be incredibly embarrassed.
Here's what transpired between then and now:
He responded finally: U where never in my car. U took a cab. Check ur debit card account. (love the terrible ass erigish)
Me: Actually, I already have. Yes indeed, there was cab fare charged to my card, a cab was taken from my house back to ****** (name of bar we were at). you drove my car to my house and then called for a cab. The pickup name was you, the driver remembers only you in the car and yes, my card was used to pay. You signed for that charge. That was the only card in my wallet.
Me again: Listen, I don't really care about the charge right now, all I care about is the return of my wallet. If you'd rather not see me, I'd be happy to send someone to pick it up.
The most important thing is that I locate my passport card and the receipts in the wallet. Again, no questions asked, I just need it returned.
Him: Ur stuff is at ********* (name of other bar, bar that bartender works at, not bar we were actually at that night)
Me: My wallet?
Him: Yes
Me: Great, thank you, I will have someone pick it up.
some time elapses.......... then I get this shit..........
Him: This is his gf, you knew Angel had a gf and seeing this makes you incredibly disgusting. Do not ever contact him again and please do not step into ****** (bar that he works at) or you will be incredibly embarrassed.
I immediately took someone from here at my office and went up there and had them go in and get it (one of the big guys that works in our industrial shop, of course). I didn't want to risk any time elapsing.
I do, however, know the owners (very well, socially, we run with the same crowd and hang out often, but never on a one on one basis) and now, I am angry. I now have absolute proof this kid stole from me and then his girlfriend fucking threatened me. Do I reach out to the owners? Or do I just stop going to a place I love?
I kind of want blood, I kind of want him fired, but on the other hand..... I don't want bad karma out there.
This is, however, a small town. Even though Houston is 6 million people, I live in the metropolis in the inner city and it's a VERY small group. Everyone knows everyone. I feel like I maybe should take steps to make sure my name isn't drug through the mud.
Will you guys weigh in please? I really don't know what I am going to do.
I do, however, know the owners (very well, socially, we run with the same crowd and hang out often, but never on a one on one basis) and now, I am angry. I now have absolute proof this kid stole from me and then his girlfriend fucking threatened me. Do I reach out to the owners? Or do I just stop going to a place I love?
I kind of want blood, I kind of want him fired, but on the other hand..... I don't want bad karma out there.
This is, however, a small town. Even though Houston is 6 million people, I live in the metropolis in the inner city and it's a VERY small group. Everyone knows everyone. I feel like I maybe should take steps to make sure my name isn't drug through the mud.
Will you guys weigh in please? I really don't know what I am going to do.
Posted by scribble
The police won't question anyone or do anything unless it's over thousands of dollars stolen.
Just being real.
Got all my stuff stolen and my friend stuff as well after a car break in. Her car was damaged and money stolen off of cards even beyond the ipods and phones and cameras and other things. Damage was in the thousands and they wouldn't do anything even when we presented evidence that we had done looking stuff up ourselves and figuring out a coworker was involved. They aren't going to chase down someone who stole a wallet.
That wasn't my experience.
🙂
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
I immediately took someone from here at my office and went up there and had them go in and get it (one of the big guys that works in our industrial shop, of course). I didn't want to risk any time elapsing.
I do, however, know the owners (very well, socially, we run with the same crowd and hang out often, but never on a one on one basis) and now, I am angry. I now have absolute proof this kid stole from me and then his girlfriend fucking threatened me. Do I reach out to the owners? Or do I just stop going to a place I love?
I kind of want blood, I kind of want him fired, but on the other hand..... I don't want bad karma out there.
This is, however, a small town. Even though Houston is 6 million people, I live in the metropolis in the inner city and it's a VERY small group. Everyone knows everyone. I feel like I maybe should take steps to make sure my name isn't drug through the mud.
Will you guys weigh in please? I really don't know what I am going to do.
I wouldn't try to press charges after you promised "no questions asked" because his girlfriend is a bitch.
Be classy.
Just go to the bar, anyway-- in her face.
🙂
What if I show up to one of my favorite bars and she confronts me? Gets up in my face?
I wish I hadn't said no questions asked, can't I just spin that to mean I won't get you into legal trouble—? Not, I won't tell your boss—?
And what kind of honor do I owe a thief?
"No honor among thieves?"
I wish I hadn't said no questions asked, can't I just spin that to mean I won't get you into legal trouble—? Not, I won't tell your boss—?
And what kind of honor do I owe a thief?
"No honor among thieves?"
Are you sure it didn't go like this:
He drove your car and you to your house.
He needed to get back to where yall came from, so you paid for his cab back to the bar.
(It would only be the decent thing for you to do, to pay for a cab for him to get back. )
He had to sign the transaction because 1) you were too drunk and 2) he had to sign when he got dropped off.
Now are you sure you didn't accidentally leave your wallet in the seat of the car and he took it so he could give it to you later.
Are you sure you remember all the details of what happened that night? I know I have a hard time remembering what happened when I've had too much to drink.
My version sounds pretty plausible. How else was he supposed to get back to the bar?
He drove your car and you to your house.
He needed to get back to where yall came from, so you paid for his cab back to the bar.
(It would only be the decent thing for you to do, to pay for a cab for him to get back. )
He had to sign the transaction because 1) you were too drunk and 2) he had to sign when he got dropped off.
Now are you sure you didn't accidentally leave your wallet in the seat of the car and he took it so he could give it to you later.
Are you sure you remember all the details of what happened that night? I know I have a hard time remembering what happened when I've had too much to drink.
My version sounds pretty plausible. How else was he supposed to get back to the bar?
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
What if I show up to one of my favorite bars and she confronts me? Gets up in my face?
I wish I hadn't said no questions asked, can't I just spin that to mean I won't get you into legal trouble—? Not, I won't tell your boss—?
And what kind of honor do I owe a thief?
"No honor among thieves?"
Apologize to her and tell her it was a misunderstanding.
Well, let's explore your theory.... he drove me home in MY car so if my wallet were in my car he'd have no reason to take it with him.
Now, let's go on to say that I was going to give him a card to pay for his cab fare (
Now, let's go on to say that I was going to give him a card to pay for his cab fare (
One more point to that, it wasn't until I backed him into a corner here:
Him: U where never in my car. U took a cab. Check ur debit card account.
Me: Actually, I already have. Yes indeed, there was cab fare charged to my card, a cab was taken from my house back to Big Bad. you drove my car to my house and then called for a cab. The pickup name was you, the driver remembers only you in the car and yes, my card was used to pay. You signed for that charge. That was the only card in my wallet.
Then he suddenly remembers my entire wallet is at his place of business—? Were I not to have backed him in, would he have revealed where it was? Likely not.
Him: U where never in my car. U took a cab. Check ur debit card account.
Me: Actually, I already have. Yes indeed, there was cab fare charged to my card, a cab was taken from my house back to Big Bad. you drove my car to my house and then called for a cab. The pickup name was you, the driver remembers only you in the car and yes, my card was used to pay. You signed for that charge. That was the only card in my wallet.
Then he suddenly remembers my entire wallet is at his place of business—? Were I not to have backed him in, would he have revealed where it was? Likely not.
I see where you're coming from.
Well, I tried to offer another explanation.
Fail!!! 🙂
Well, I tried to offer another explanation.
Fail!!! 🙂
Posted by truecapPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
What if I show up to one of my favorite bars and she confronts me? Gets up in my face?
I wish I hadn't said no questions asked, can't I just spin that to mean I won't get you into legal trouble—? Not, I won't tell your boss—?
And what kind of honor do I owe a thief?
"No honor among thieves?"
Apologize to her and tell her it was a misunderstanding.click to expand
That would be what I would do anyway.... however, when I tell you I know who this girl is and she doesn't seem like the "let's talk this out over tea kinda girl" what I mean is she's the kind of street girl who leads with her fists.
Posted by truecap
I see where you're coming from.
Well, I tried to offer another explanation.
Fail!!! 🙂
No, no! I appreciate it. I am really struggling over the decision of what to do. Any other points of view are welcomed. This is absolutely an open forum discussion!
Oh, yikes!! She wouldn't listen if you told her that then.
Yeah, think..... roller derby chick. Think hangs out with heavy metal bands.
Think opposite of me.
I'm a "use my words" kind of girl. If I was ever in a situation where someone was throwing punches at me.... you better believe I would be the person who would roll into a ball and wait for the fight to be broken up and then say, "Everyone in here is witness to my not throwing a single punch or even fighting back. Enjoy jail."
That's of course granted that I am in a place where a fight can be broken up. If not, I'd fight with all my heart rather than take it lying down. Thankfully, (knock on wood) I have never been in that kind of situation and I doubt I ever will be.
Think opposite of me.
I'm a "use my words" kind of girl. If I was ever in a situation where someone was throwing punches at me.... you better believe I would be the person who would roll into a ball and wait for the fight to be broken up and then say, "Everyone in here is witness to my not throwing a single punch or even fighting back. Enjoy jail."
That's of course granted that I am in a place where a fight can be broken up. If not, I'd fight with all my heart rather than take it lying down. Thankfully, (knock on wood) I have never been in that kind of situation and I doubt I ever will be.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
What if I show up to one of my favorite bars and she confronts me? Gets up in my face?
I wish I hadn't said no questions asked, can't I just spin that to mean I won't get you into legal trouble—? Not, I won't tell your boss—?
And what kind of honor do I owe a thief?
"No honor among thieves?"
I just said "don't press charges" 😛
I would totally hang out *at that bar* with your friends who OWN the bar.
You don't owe him anything-- and you aren't a thief.
But are you saying you're afraid she may show up at more than one of these bars, now?
Idk what kind of bars you frequent, but maybe you need a change of scenery.
Just a suggestion. 😄
The thing is I live in what's known as the Houston Heights. It's the original Houston area, like as in our homes date back to the early 1900's. It's a very tightly knit community and that plus Montrose (our gay area just one neighborhood/burrow south) are kind of the IT areas.
Additionally, there are a few groups of people who own all of the non-chain bars in the area. Our bars are super fun, super swank, and edgy. Houston is one of the first places to popularize the pre-prohibition cocktails. If you are into that type of thing read up on one of our most popular bars here called Anvil.
We have a number of AMAZING bars that don't serve "Red Bull & Vodka" or even shots or Bud Light or Miller Lite - GROSS. During the week only the "inner loopers" hang out at all these places.... during the weekend I don't even go out because all the suburbians drive in in their Ed Hardy and fist pump in our bars and ruin what their true meaning is. I HATE IT.
So to say I wouldn't frequent any of these places would be like telling me to completely change social circles and friends. Although.... I do know I won't find her at any of our wine bars. 🙂
Additionally, there are a few groups of people who own all of the non-chain bars in the area. Our bars are super fun, super swank, and edgy. Houston is one of the first places to popularize the pre-prohibition cocktails. If you are into that type of thing read up on one of our most popular bars here called Anvil.
We have a number of AMAZING bars that don't serve "Red Bull & Vodka" or even shots or Bud Light or Miller Lite - GROSS. During the week only the "inner loopers" hang out at all these places.... during the weekend I don't even go out because all the suburbians drive in in their Ed Hardy and fist pump in our bars and ruin what their true meaning is. I HATE IT.
So to say I wouldn't frequent any of these places would be like telling me to completely change social circles and friends. Although.... I do know I won't find her at any of our wine bars. 🙂
Any time you start a fight, you need to be prepared to finish it. Based solely upon what you've said, it doesn't sound like something that you'll be able to resolve "cleanly". There will be some casualties: reputations, friendships, etc. If you're concerned about how those will play out in the microcosm that is your world, you might want to focus your anger on your kickboxing class instead of spite or revenge.
That said, if the owners are good friends, I would relay the story to them for the simple fact that, if he stole from you, there's a 99.99% probability he's stolen from them, as well. Just preface it with something to the effect that you're not asking them to do anything, it's just that if your positions were reversed, you would want to know the character of the people in your employ.
Based on the text/vm from the girlfriend, you can safely assume she has already trashed your reputation in that bar, and with his assistance. I would nip that in the bud when I broached the topic with the owners. There's nothing to be gained by getting into a he said/she said, so just focus on the fact of his fraudulent signature for the charge on your card, his possession of the card, his possession of the wallet, the wallet's mysterious appearance at a location you did not visit that evening, etc.
Speaking as one of Karma's children, I assure you you'll receive no negative marks in her book for sharing your experience with the owners. Trying to get him fired would be overkill; I suspect he'll take care of that for you before too long, anyway.
That said, if the owners are good friends, I would relay the story to them for the simple fact that, if he stole from you, there's a 99.99% probability he's stolen from them, as well. Just preface it with something to the effect that you're not asking them to do anything, it's just that if your positions were reversed, you would want to know the character of the people in your employ.
Based on the text/vm from the girlfriend, you can safely assume she has already trashed your reputation in that bar, and with his assistance. I would nip that in the bud when I broached the topic with the owners. There's nothing to be gained by getting into a he said/she said, so just focus on the fact of his fraudulent signature for the charge on your card, his possession of the card, his possession of the wallet, the wallet's mysterious appearance at a location you did not visit that evening, etc.
Speaking as one of Karma's children, I assure you you'll receive no negative marks in her book for sharing your experience with the owners. Trying to get him fired would be overkill; I suspect he'll take care of that for you before too long, anyway.
STOIC GOAT!!!!!!!!!! I love it.
Why didn't I think of that first? It's not that I approach to whine and complain, it's more of a "let me let you know the kind of people you are dealing with" and then let the powers at be in the universe take care of it from there. Duh. Seems like such a simple way to go about it now.... thank you for weighing in.
So classy.
Ugh, I'm only mad it didn't occur to me first. DANGGIT and I typically try to be classy. It's the whole reason I went about my emails in the way I did. Calm, cool collected, never accusatory without just cause.
I have been spinning this in my head ALL day about how when I relay the story, what will his defense be? I typically don't start fights when I haven't considered every outcome and what my move would be in any situation.... if I deem something will not have a good outcome for me, I typically keep it to myself (like in the instance of bringing up grievances with friends).
Where I hadn't gotten to yet was the dynamic of how best to relay the information to the owners. It's all in the presentation of information and what that person believes your motives to be. you gain much more ground with altruistic motivation that anything else.
And truth be told, I do want them to know, even if just for the sake of knowing. Thank you, thank you, thank you for some sage advice.
Also, great word usage on the "microcosm", had to go look that one up. Extended vocabularies is one of my favorites qualities in people.
Why didn't I think of that first? It's not that I approach to whine and complain, it's more of a "let me let you know the kind of people you are dealing with" and then let the powers at be in the universe take care of it from there. Duh. Seems like such a simple way to go about it now.... thank you for weighing in.
So classy.
Ugh, I'm only mad it didn't occur to me first. DANGGIT and I typically try to be classy. It's the whole reason I went about my emails in the way I did. Calm, cool collected, never accusatory without just cause.
I have been spinning this in my head ALL day about how when I relay the story, what will his defense be? I typically don't start fights when I haven't considered every outcome and what my move would be in any situation.... if I deem something will not have a good outcome for me, I typically keep it to myself (like in the instance of bringing up grievances with friends).
Where I hadn't gotten to yet was the dynamic of how best to relay the information to the owners. It's all in the presentation of information and what that person believes your motives to be. you gain much more ground with altruistic motivation that anything else.
And truth be told, I do want them to know, even if just for the sake of knowing. Thank you, thank you, thank you for some sage advice.
Also, great word usage on the "microcosm", had to go look that one up. Extended vocabularies is one of my favorites qualities in people.
Posted by May31Baby
Wait hold on... Apologize to her after her man tried to hit on you and you declined? She should be thanking you. Her man is the problem, hes a liar and a thief. Shiit. Id go back to the bar, with a group of my friends who i know have my back. Fuck her, does she run you? Psshhh
Theres this song i cant remember who its by. But it goes
"I dont fight, i dont argue. I just hit that bitch with a bottle"
Haha im just saying...
^^^^THIS!
I mean, let's look at this cleanly... I was too intoxicated to drive my own vehicle (and let me tell you, I was definitely OVER the edge), was going to take a cab, but her boyfriend takes me and my car to my house.... because he's sober enough to drive.
EVEN IF something went down, who do you blame? The wasted girl or your sober ass boyfriend?
I swear women who point fingers at women first drive me bananas. I mean really? It's your man who owes you fidelity and loyalty, not the woman. And unless she's some kind of succubus who goes after taken men for sport.... you have no business even bothering yourself with that woman.
When my last guy cheated, I took his phone and left the house. Then I called said girl and was sweet as candy. "Did you know I existed? I mean, I am sure you didn't. Men typically lie. Do you mind if I ask you some questions? I need to know what happened before I return to have a conversation with my boyfriend because I believe the lies have already started."
She sang like a canary. I caught him in enough lies to wallpaper the Washington monument. Never looked back, and I am glad I had all the details... it really helped me keep my composure during those times when you get weak and romanticize the relationship.
IF, IF I ever go back, I will meet the owner, MY friend there for drinks. And, I'll sit at the bar.
Yeah, that. But that's IF.
Yeah, that. But that's IF.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPalPosted by May31Baby
Wait hold on... Apologize to her after her man tried to hit on you and you declined? She should be thanking you. Her man is the problem, hes a liar and a thief. Shiit. Id go back to the bar, with a group of my friends who i know have my back. Fuck her, does she run you? Psshhh
Theres this song i cant remember who its by. But it goes
"I dont fight, i dont argue. I just hit that bitch with a bottle"
Haha im just saying...
^^^^THIS!
I mean, let's look at this cleanly... I was too intoxicated to drive my own vehicle (and let me tell you, I was definitely OVER the edge), was going to take a cab, but her boyfriend takes me and my car to my house.... because he's sober enough to drive.
EVEN IF something went down, who do you blame? The wasted girl or your sober ass boyfriend?
I swear women who point fingers at women first drive me bananas.click to expand
So the moral of your story is...
don't get shit faced at the bar and take rides with guys with girlfriends..
you may get your wallet stolen
the girlfriend may come after you
...but you are exonerated from all accountability because you were SHIT FACED DRUNK.
Why is there a "EVEN IF something went down" in your story? And why is the girlfriend jumping to conclusions... and you are considering these conclusions... though you say nothing went down.
And you want people to focus on the fact you were shit faced drunk... and how DARE this women question what you were doing with her boyfriend.
I was saying "even if" not in relation to my story, but to a cheating man in general... as in, EVEN IF your man cheats on you you don't go bitching at the woman, you go after the man.
Why is the girlfriend jumping to conclusions? I have no idea. I don't know her or them.
I had no ill intentions with her boyfriend. I was in fact SHIT FACED drunk and no I don't think that means I am not accountable for anything. Had I gotten into a drunken argument with someone, I would be responsible, had I hit on some girl's boyfriend, I would be responsible. I would owe apologies to all involved.
That is quite simply not what happened. I was at a bar celebrating the opening of my new show and I went overboard. I got carried away. True, there's nothing more disgusting than a drunken woman, but that doesn't make it my fault for someone taking a pass at me.
Lastly, I have frequented the bar this guy works at for YEARS. When he offered to get me home, I didn't think anything of it. Don't leave your car here, it might get broken into, blah, blah, blah. It was nothing more than what I thought was a friendly gesture to a good patron and an acquaintance.
Lastly, I am the trusting kind of girl. If my boyfriend gave a drunk girl a ride home and then came home and told me about it... I'd tell him how chivalrous he was. However, based on her response.... he said nothing.
Why is the girlfriend jumping to conclusions? I have no idea. I don't know her or them.
I had no ill intentions with her boyfriend. I was in fact SHIT FACED drunk and no I don't think that means I am not accountable for anything. Had I gotten into a drunken argument with someone, I would be responsible, had I hit on some girl's boyfriend, I would be responsible. I would owe apologies to all involved.
That is quite simply not what happened. I was at a bar celebrating the opening of my new show and I went overboard. I got carried away. True, there's nothing more disgusting than a drunken woman, but that doesn't make it my fault for someone taking a pass at me.
Lastly, I have frequented the bar this guy works at for YEARS. When he offered to get me home, I didn't think anything of it. Don't leave your car here, it might get broken into, blah, blah, blah. It was nothing more than what I thought was a friendly gesture to a good patron and an acquaintance.
Lastly, I am the trusting kind of girl. If my boyfriend gave a drunk girl a ride home and then came home and told me about it... I'd tell him how chivalrous he was. However, based on her response.... he said nothing.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
I have been spinning this in my head ALL day about how when I relay the story, what will his defense be?
Why do you want to go after this guy and start a war? Why so you feel the need to "spin" a story... like you have to prove or disprove something? You want to take this to third party bar owners?
what a ton of drama
He charged a cab ride on your credit card... he could have a shit load more money and your title is CREDIT CARD FRAUD
AND, you didn't push getting your wallet back until a week after it happened? Why the delay when we are talking about your wallet?
there's too much bullshit in your story
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
EVEN IF your man cheats on you you don't go bitching at the woman, you go after the man.
Oh really? I didn't know there was a rule book for blame when it came to cheating...
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Why is the girlfriend jumping to conclusions? I have no idea. I don't know her or them.
You say you don't know them (him)
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Lastly, I have frequented the bar this guy works at for YEARS. When he offered to get me home, I didn't think anything of it.
.
And then you say he's worked there for years... and it is a small community. And you know the bar owner...
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
However, based on her response.... he said nothing.click to expand
Actually, based on her response... it sounds like he said something. And it's probably not what you're saying here...
this behavior from you is strange considering you and I have never been at odds. I am wondering if you are being trollish simply for that reason or perhaps you just need a little Thursday night entertainment. Nonetheless, I will address your points...
Posted by shellshockerPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
I have been spinning this in my head ALL day about how when I relay the story, what will his defense be?click to expand
Why do you want to go after this guy and start a war? Why so you feel the need to "spin" a story... like you have to prove or disprove something? You want to take this to third party bar owners?
I spin things in my head all the time. I don't mean that as in I SPIN MY STORY, I mean that as in I try to think of all of the possible responses someone might give and therefore how I will respond. I don't think that's a bad thing at all. I believe it's preparation, I am after all a professional salesperson. Call it an occupational hazard.
As for whether or not I want to prove/disprove something, yes, if I go so far as to tell someone about this I do want to be right. I do want to properly deliver my story. I do want people to know he stole from me. Third party? Well, as has been said multiple times in this thread they are my friends.
what a ton of drama
Perhaps, but if I were looking to stir up shit simply for stirring up shit don't you think I'd be more focused on the girlfriend and him making a pass at me?
He charged a cab ride on your credit card... he could have a shit load more money and your title is CREDIT CARD FRAUD
The title is that because just TODAY did everything fall into place. Just today did I realize he was the one who not only used my card, but had my wallet. I had already emailed him asking him for information days prior and gotten no response. Had he ignored me again, I was certainly considering filing a police report and came here to ask people their experiences with just such.
AND, you didn't push getting your wallet back until a week after it happened? Why the delay when we are talking about your wallet?
You think I seriously thought this dude had my wallet and didn't do anything about it? No, come one. You know better. I thought I must have misplaced it. I cleaned out my car. I went up to theater and searched th
...You trusted a guy named "Angel?"
Posted by shellshocker
AND, you didn't push getting your wallet back until a week after it happened? Why the delay when we are talking about your wallet?
You think I seriously thought this dude had my wallet and didn't do anything about it? No, come one. You know better. I thought I must have misplaced it. I cleaned out my car. I went up to theater and searched the dressing rooms, I went to my office and went through every desk drawer. I asked my neighbor whom I often let borrow my car if she had seen it. I cleaned my house top to bottom, looking under couches, under beds, etc. Then when I was assured it wasn't here I started going back to all the places I had been. I called and visited. Then I checked the credit card once I realized... oh shit, it has been stolen. I canceled the card and then I started calling Yellow Cab after seeing the mysterious charge. I requested the driver call me back. Then I waited. I discussed with my best friend asking this dude (the bartender) if he might have seen it, but I sure as shit didn't want to do that.... it's not like we bumped fists and then he went on his merry way. There was an altercation. I threw him out of my house yelling at him never talk to me again.
Don't know if you recall my experience with the cheating Pisces, but it wrecked me and I don't take very kindly to cheaters. Loathe them actually. So when I realized that the cab fare was FROM my house TO the bar and only a single gentleman was present who paid with MY card... it became clear. It wasn't until that moment that I put everything together.
there's too much bullshit in your story
Posted by shellshockerPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
EVEN IF your man cheats on you you don't go bitching at the woman, you go after the man.
Oh really? I didn't know there was a rule book for blame when it came to cheating...
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Why is the girlfriend jumping to conclusions? I have no idea. I don't know her or them.
You say you don't know them (him)
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Lastly, I have frequented the bar this guy works at for YEARS. When he offered to get me home, I didn't think anything of it.
.
And then you say he's worked there for years... and it is a small community. And you know the bar owner...
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
However, based on her response.... he said nothing.
Actually, based on her response... it sounds like he said something. And it's probably not what you're saying here...
click to expand
1. There's not, but I think it's asinine for the female to go after the other woman. Take that shit up with your partner. That's where your true issue is.
2. What I meant is I don't know "them" as in them as a couple. I don't know what issue they/she/he might have, trust issues, previous lying, what have you...
3. Ummn, yeah? I don't see your point? What are you asking/pointing out?
4. I am sure he did try to lie and omit and say whatever he could. That's typically what thieves and cheaters do. None of that makes me a liar though. If he had said SOMETHING, ANYTHING, don't you think that would have been a response to when I finally broke down and asked him if he knew anything about where my wallet was—? No, he said nothing. He only said something when I caught him in his own lie.
I gotta say, I do agree with shellshocker. The way this was handled initially made me cringe as I read it. Seriously, Facebook? :/ Why not face to face? :/
Regardless, you have your wallet back and the worst that came of this was lost cash and ONE charge.
Next time, don't be so irresponsible and consider this a lesson learned. Why you drove to a bar and then got shit faced to begin with is beyond me. Most people that I know will either have a DD with them, or they take a cab to the bar.
Also, you're a female. Going out solo to get drunk with nobody around that you REALLY know just screams all sorts of fuckery to be had if things go wrong. :/
You're 30. Time to think like an adult, chica.
Regardless, you have your wallet back and the worst that came of this was lost cash and ONE charge.
Next time, don't be so irresponsible and consider this a lesson learned. Why you drove to a bar and then got shit faced to begin with is beyond me. Most people that I know will either have a DD with them, or they take a cab to the bar.
Also, you're a female. Going out solo to get drunk with nobody around that you REALLY know just screams all sorts of fuckery to be had if things go wrong. :/
You're 30. Time to think like an adult, chica.
Posted by seraphPosted by shellshockerPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
EVEN IF your man cheats on you you don't go bitching at the woman, you go after the man.
Oh really? I didn't know there was a rule book for blame when it came to cheating...
People can't be stolen. Unless you tie them up and toss them in the trunk of your Eldorado.
They go willingly. The culprit is *always* the individual who had the choice *to not* cheat. The other woman/man may be slime, but the cheater has the option to not cheat.click to expand
My thoughts exactly! And I don't think it's illogical to be angry with the person whom your partner cheated with, but I think it's ridiculous when your MORE angry with the other person that you are your partner.... which, let's be honest is what we see a lot.
Your partner is the one with whom you have given your trust, your hope. When they crush that it doesn't matter if it's animals, lonely elderly people or washed up prostitutes, or even something less extreme 🙂.... what you should be the most upset about it is that this person you trust and love CHOSE to do this to you.
Posted by Rabbit
So at the beginning of the thread you say this guy gave you a ride home two days ago.
And then several posts later you say you Facebook messaged him five days ago about your wallet.
Ummm....
No dear, she said "the other night." Two days later was after "the other night."
Posted by rockyroadicecream
I gotta say, I do agree with shellshocker. The way this was handled initially made me cringe as I read it. Seriously, Facebook? :/ Why not face to face? :/
Regardless, you have your wallet back and the worst that came of this was lost cash and ONE charge.
Next time, don't be so irresponsible and consider this a lesson learned. Why you drove to a bar and then got shit faced to begin with is beyond me. Most people that I know will either have a DD with them, or they take a cab to the bar.
Also, you're a female. Going out solo to get drunk with nobody around that you REALLY know just screams all sorts of fuckery to be had if things go wrong. :/
You're 30. Time to think like an adult, chica.
I don't disagree with you. Here's my response to you... Facebook because no way in hell did I want to go and stand in front of someone who I threw out of my house and say, "hey, I am an irresponsible fuck who can't find my wallet, any chance you'd be willing to help me out on that even if I was a total bitch to you?".
I am not sure what made you cringe because other than looking for it and being very investigative... I haven't yet acted upon this dude STEALING from me. Nor have I decided how I will when the time comes... which would be WHY I CAME HERE to run this across other people and look for advice, good advice. Like from the lovely Goat.
I have my wallet back, yes! Thank God. It was never about the cash or the single charge. It was about the business receipts in the wallet and my passport card.
I drove to a bar with my entire cast and crew. It was opening night of our new show as I have mentioned. We were all celebrating. I don't know if you know what the adrenaline rush is like on opening night, but it's insane. I was over the moon. When they cleared out, I stayed. I know A LOT of people that hang out there, it's kind of like Cheers if you will. It not unusual for me to be there alone, I am usually chatting with people I know, outside sitting with different tables. It's not like I am sitting alone at the bar pretending to watch whatever shit is on the muted TV hoping I will chat someone up. This place is legit about ten blocks from my house. I live in Houston, it takes an hour and a half to drive from edge to edge of my city... this is my safe place.
I have already said I don't think sloppy drunk women are at all attractive and it
I have already said I don't think sloppy drunk women are at all attractive and it's not behavior I approve of. However, yes, I made that mistake. It's a mistake which I am wholeheartedly owning up to. In other matters, rest assured... I lead a very adult life.
Also, are you aware that this dude was attempting to possibly rape you?
He wanted to drive you home even though you wanted to take a cab? Then he makes a pass at you?
Gee, that doesn't sound planned at all. Easy sex from the drunk girl. :/
He wanted to drive you home even though you wanted to take a cab? Then he makes a pass at you?
Gee, that doesn't sound planned at all. Easy sex from the drunk girl. :/
this has nothing to do with us being at odds.. please don't put a personalized "spin" on my posts.
your story has holes... your intentions are sketchy
just because you have a whole bunch of wordy answers... doesn't make them believable
your story has holes... your intentions are sketchy
just because you have a whole bunch of wordy answers... doesn't make them believable
I said I was given a ride home the other night and then AFTER that I messaged him.
Not sure how that's unclear.
Not sure how that's unclear.
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Also, are you aware that this dude was attempting to possibly rape you?
He wanted to drive you home even though you wanted to take a cab? Then he makes a pass at you?
Gee, that doesn't sound planned at all. Easy sex from the drunk girl. :/
I wasn't thinking that at the time, but yes that is not lost on me. The possibilities of what could have gone wrong are endless. I made a bad choice in accepting the ride, in drinking too much. I'm not an idiot, I made some bad choices.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPalPosted by rockyroadicecream
Also, are you aware that this dude was attempting to possibly rape you?
He wanted to drive you home even though you wanted to take a cab? Then he makes a pass at you?
Gee, that doesn't sound planned at all. Easy sex from the drunk girl. :/
I wasn't thinking that at the time, but yes that is not lost on me. The possibilities of what could have gone wrong are endless. I made a bad choice in accepting the ride, in drinking too much. I'm not an idiot, I made some bad choices.click to expand
That was less shame on you more "omg this dude is a creeper."
Posted by shellshocker
this has nothing to do with us being at odds.. please don't put a personalized "spin" on my posts.
your story has holes... your intentions are sketchy
just because you have a whole bunch of wordy answers... doesn't make them believable
I am not sure what holes there are, but if you'd like to point out more specifics I'd be happy to address them.
You know, let me also say this.... this is WHY some of our long and valued people have deleted and left.... all of my posts are out there. I have NEVER hidden a one. You can go back and read all the times I have discussed relationships and the like. I am not someone with "sketchy intentions".
But of course, what would DXP be unless someone had to come along and attempt to pick apart everything that someone said looking for some conspiracy, some ultimate lie... and for what—? It's ridiculous and a clear example of what people mean when they say this place is going downhill.
However, please point out any discrepancies please and I will continue to clarify.
Posted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Then, for my very last point, I asked him 5 days ago via facebook email (which I know he saw due to his read receipt) about my wallet. An email which he ignored.
Posted by RabbitPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
I said I was given a ride home the other night and then AFTER that I messaged him.
Not sure how that's unclear.
The other night = Tuesday
Fast forward two days = Today
Five days from the ride home = tomorrow
click to expand
The other night is last week(The other night) ... first email over the weekend (Fast forward two days).... today is the FIVE days later that I put everything into place about what's happened.
Are you unclear?
Posted by shellshockerPosted by GemsRaGalsBestPal
Then, for my very last point, I asked him 5 days ago via facebook email (which I know he saw due to his read receipt) about my wallet. An email which he ignored.
click to expand
Asked and fucking answered.... Jesus Christ.... what do you people want—??
Would you like screenshots of the emails? Perhaps also of my bank statement and the credit card transactions?
This is absolutely ridiculous.
They're just trollin'. Pay them no mind.
I didn't quote that for you Gems.. I quoted that for Rabbit and I hadn't read your response to me yet.
I don't care about who has left and why and all that other blah, blah, blah you wrote. I also don't care about all your wordy answers, I'm not here to argue with you. I'm just not buying all your story and if you don't like that, well that's not my problem.
You don't have to prove anything to me but you seem to like that sort of thing... hence why you want to go after this guy over cab fare and $ 60? Maybe it's more about your reputation who knows, who cares.
I think your intent to go after this guy is sketchy
I don't care about who has left and why and all that other blah, blah, blah you wrote. I also don't care about all your wordy answers, I'm not here to argue with you. I'm just not buying all your story and if you don't like that, well that's not my problem.
You don't have to prove anything to me but you seem to like that sort of thing... hence why you want to go after this guy over cab fare and $ 60? Maybe it's more about your reputation who knows, who cares.
I think your intent to go after this guy is sketchy
RR-IC, I know that. It just really gets under my skin and reminds me WHY I spend so little time around here anymore.
Jesus Christ, if there were more people like the Stoic Goat that would give GOOD advice like... hey chick, let's bring it back down. Calm yourself, think about the best move, the best intentions, let the anger go.... what's truly the best thing you could do.... consider karma....
If it were more like that, I'd be around a bunch more. Trolls have truly really ruined this place.
Jesus Christ, if there were more people like the Stoic Goat that would give GOOD advice like... hey chick, let's bring it back down. Calm yourself, think about the best move, the best intentions, let the anger go.... what's truly the best thing you could do.... consider karma....
If it were more like that, I'd be around a bunch more. Trolls have truly really ruined this place.
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