Virgo W, Aries M
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by thevirgin on Saturday, December 29, 2007 and has 12 replies.
My Aries ex and I have been seeing each other for 2 years. In the beginning, everything was PERFECT! Then out of nowhere he had this obsession with me and cheating. I have never, ever cheated on him!! And never entertained the idea. He would bring this up at least 3 times a week ..."If I ever find out that you are cheating" ... "Were you talking to someone" all sorts of crazy talk along this theme. Then, last week when he brought this up, I turned around and asked "Why do you always ask me these things? Are YOU sleeping with someone else?" He got so mad and hit me. And I know I should have walked out at that point, but my first reaction was utter shock! then we went to sleep (when I didn't accept his apology soon enough for him). I then walked into the bedroom and slapped his a $ $ silly. Long story short .... He now believes I was on the wrong. He is so mad at me. His behaviour is really senseless at this stage, I really don't get it. He is sulking, rude and all sorts of childish stuff. Crazy thing is I miss him! I know we cannot be together as a couple because things are just way too ugly now. But he really isn't all bad. Should I even consider a friendship with someone this violent and irratic?
Wow!!!! I can some what relate. Them aries are a trip. I'm a virgo and been thru all kinds of stuff with him for 22 years. Even him accusing me of things I never did to him. But I would say stay a friend if you can, cause they really are great friends.
"He got so mad and hit me."
"But he really isn't all bad."
I think you should marry him .. quick, before some other fortunate woman gets to feel his love.
"But he really isn't all bad."
I think you should marry him .. quick, before some other fortunate woman gets to feel his love.
P-Angel ... thanks, but no thanks.
Then why post a topic asking whether you should want him?
Face the truth .... but, for the fact that you're in here making excuses for him and saying he's a pretty good guy, is in essence, you considering forgiving him for what he's done because you want him.
If you didn't ... then you wouldn't have uttered a word, just cut your loses and moved on.
If you didn't ... then you wouldn't have uttered a word, just cut your loses and moved on.
I find myself puzzled by your response to my post. Anyway, what I asked is "Should I even consider a friendship with someone like him?" Trust me (or not), I have no illusions about the fact that our relationship is over. I would not want to spend the rest of my nights with my eyes open! I value my piece of mind too much for that. Here's what I'll tell you about where I am .... I do miss him. I spent days crying over the loss of him and our relationship. It has been the hardest thing to do ignoring his calls and texts. But I will continue to so until I have figured out if we can make it as simply platonic friends or cut ties completely. You say it sounds like I have forgiven him? Actually, I think I forgave him the very next day. Whether it's a fault in my character or not, I just find it extremely hard and draining to hold grudges against people. I quite prefer to get along with people and maintain harmony with the people around me. And if this is a folly, I guess I'll learn my lesson some day. Now if I may ask again, should I consider a friendship with someone like this?
If you are that strong, aware, no illusions, don't hold grudges, and all of the above about how you know what, when, where and how to relate to people ... then why ask if you should be friends with him?
My point that has baffled you ... is you come off as if you know your direction, vibrant and confident .. then ask whether you should be friends with somebody .. in other words, your actions don't match your words. And this only happens when people are blind.
Not meaning to come down on you .. just pointing it out. People do this all the time, and I point it out every time, so this isn't necessarily exclusively towards you.
If a man, out of nowhere, started accusing you, which you obviously had enough awareness to discern that he must be the cheater if he's pressuring you ... when you ask him, he hits you.
This is enough for you to realize that he's a complete tosser, for you do indeed slap his azz silly and break up with him. So, if you realize that he's a loser (intimately), then why not have enough sense to realize whether you should be friends or not?
There's sense in all aspects of life, except when we're blinded by the one we want to love ... when we want to love somebody, we totally ignore what our senses tell us.
If a person can discern who's good for thier intimate love life (which is way more important than friendships) .. then why don't they have the ability to judge who they should be friends with?
And yet ... you can't and will ask this question. So, my point was, it's because you still want him romantically. When we have feelings for somebody romantically, is when we are blind. We aren't blind to any other people in our lives .. not family, not friends, not collegues.
You want him .. that's why you ask a question that you should already know.
My point that has baffled you ... is you come off as if you know your direction, vibrant and confident .. then ask whether you should be friends with somebody .. in other words, your actions don't match your words. And this only happens when people are blind.
Not meaning to come down on you .. just pointing it out. People do this all the time, and I point it out every time, so this isn't necessarily exclusively towards you.
If a man, out of nowhere, started accusing you, which you obviously had enough awareness to discern that he must be the cheater if he's pressuring you ... when you ask him, he hits you.
This is enough for you to realize that he's a complete tosser, for you do indeed slap his azz silly and break up with him. So, if you realize that he's a loser (intimately), then why not have enough sense to realize whether you should be friends or not?
There's sense in all aspects of life, except when we're blinded by the one we want to love ... when we want to love somebody, we totally ignore what our senses tell us.
If a person can discern who's good for thier intimate love life (which is way more important than friendships) .. then why don't they have the ability to judge who they should be friends with?
And yet ... you can't and will ask this question. So, my point was, it's because you still want him romantically. When we have feelings for somebody romantically, is when we are blind. We aren't blind to any other people in our lives .. not family, not friends, not collegues.
You want him .. that's why you ask a question that you should already know.
Do you know ..
If you should keep your present job, or looking for another firm?
If you should stay up late or go to sleep early, depending on your schedule for the next day?
When your car needs maintenance?
When a co-worker is taking credit for your work?
If a person who's suppose to be your friend is taking advantage of you?
What purchases are within your budget?
When your family members are in need of mediation for you to resolve, or when they are just venting out frustration and so you let them rant?
We, as people aren't blind to what is going on in our lives .. we are aware and normally have the strength and confidence to KNOW exactly what we need to do to compromise/adjust, so life fits within our own goals and desires.
Only when we are blinded by the "wanting" of somebody romantically, do we falter and say, "What do I do?", or, "I'm so confused".
Ask yourself this question .. if just a regular friend, to whom you never had intimate relations with .. HIT YOU .. would you still wonder whether you should be their friend?
If you should keep your present job, or looking for another firm?
If you should stay up late or go to sleep early, depending on your schedule for the next day?
When your car needs maintenance?
When a co-worker is taking credit for your work?
If a person who's suppose to be your friend is taking advantage of you?
What purchases are within your budget?
When your family members are in need of mediation for you to resolve, or when they are just venting out frustration and so you let them rant?
We, as people aren't blind to what is going on in our lives .. we are aware and normally have the strength and confidence to KNOW exactly what we need to do to compromise/adjust, so life fits within our own goals and desires.
Only when we are blinded by the "wanting" of somebody romantically, do we falter and say, "What do I do?", or, "I'm so confused".
Ask yourself this question .. if just a regular friend, to whom you never had intimate relations with .. HIT YOU .. would you still wonder whether you should be their friend?
Thank you to you all for your responses. Really appreciate it.
No prob .. don't worry, you'll do the right thing. Just by the knowing that you needed to break up with a person who would hit you, is an indication that you know your path .. we all fall when our hearts take an injury.
I believe in Virgo's (no matter how much I bitch), and always will .. you know what you have to do.
I believe in Virgo's (no matter how much I bitch), and always will .. you know what you have to do.
Hi!
My advise is to stay low for the time being and try to collect your thoughts and your feelings. Sometimes, when a relationship doesn't work but we still have feelings for that person, we still want him to be around even as a friend. Becuase we are people and have emotions, we have the need and we are used of that person that was around for sometime. And it is most likely that we will fail to see all small details that prove to us that this person is the wrong fit for us. You need time dear. The truth is that is not going to be a wise choice for you right now to be firends with him. You need to relax, isolate and have fun. Go out with friends that make you smile and laugh; read a book; go to the gym; write your thoughts down and then toss or burn the paper; do things that you didn't do before. Do whatever will make you happy and take your mind away from that situation, from that man. Only then will you able to focus on the simple question "Will I ever want to see him again?Will I be better without him?".
I sympathise with what you are feeling and all of us have sense this kind of loss one way or another. But I will promise you something: "There is someone out there for you that will only want to protect, love and take care of you and will never hurt you in any way. Someone that really deserves your love, and you most of all". Remember that when people act mean to you, there is nothing wrong about you, but with them. And when that happens, you have all the right to move on without second thoughts. You will not be the own fixing them, taking the blame or make them feel better for what they are. Because this is going to bring you down. They will take your energy away and your beautiful shelf when you are most vulnerable. Don't let that happen. You have so much to give to the right person. No one else deserves you. Hope that helps!Vassilia
My advise is to stay low for the time being and try to collect your thoughts and your feelings. Sometimes, when a relationship doesn't work but we still have feelings for that person, we still want him to be around even as a friend. Becuase we are people and have emotions, we have the need and we are used of that person that was around for sometime. And it is most likely that we will fail to see all small details that prove to us that this person is the wrong fit for us. You need time dear. The truth is that is not going to be a wise choice for you right now to be firends with him. You need to relax, isolate and have fun. Go out with friends that make you smile and laugh; read a book; go to the gym; write your thoughts down and then toss or burn the paper; do things that you didn't do before. Do whatever will make you happy and take your mind away from that situation, from that man. Only then will you able to focus on the simple question "Will I ever want to see him again?Will I be better without him?".
I sympathise with what you are feeling and all of us have sense this kind of loss one way or another. But I will promise you something: "There is someone out there for you that will only want to protect, love and take care of you and will never hurt you in any way. Someone that really deserves your love, and you most of all". Remember that when people act mean to you, there is nothing wrong about you, but with them. And when that happens, you have all the right to move on without second thoughts. You will not be the own fixing them, taking the blame or make them feel better for what they are. Because this is going to bring you down. They will take your energy away and your beautiful shelf when you are most vulnerable. Don't let that happen. You have so much to give to the right person. No one else deserves you. Hope that helps!Vassilia
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