Virgos & Aquas

This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by VirgowithalittleLibra on Wednesday, August 16, 2006 and has 58 replies.
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Hi everybody!
I'm new in these forums and have been reading some of you for few days now
I'm not a big believer in horoscopes, but I have to recognize that I have seen similar behavioral patterns under people that belong to a given sign. I find that quiet interesting, so I thought I would join in to learn more about all this.
I have been dating an aquarius for close to a year now (yeah, I know half this board would be like, what?! An Aqua and a Virgo, that can't be! lol)
My fun aqua and I are very different in some ways but so similar in others, believe it or not. We both enjoy life, we love to help people, and we both can have wonderful chats, not to mention other wonderful things
Just as wonderful as it has been, let me tell you, it's been quiet the ride!
My patience and flexibility has been tested like never before, but I'm sure I've been quite a pain in the butt too at times.
I've began to realize that aquas aren't that bad, but rather sweet and missunderstood. I can get see more clearly now why aqua and virgo can drive each other nuts at times, but also why we can still feel some sort of strong attraction towards each other (at least in my case is very true).
I think the only thing that is hard for me to deal with is the distance.
We both live in two different cities, have contrasting schedules, and my aqua, being the aqua she is, feels always torn between spending time with her friends, doing her activities and me and/or seeing her family.
So, althoguh I love my aqua, I wonder if this sense of prioritization becomes a little more clear over time. Meaning, do aquas feel less torn to choose between their friends/activities and bfs/gfs at some point? If it becomes more clear over time, what makes you want to spend more time with whoever you are dating as opposed to with your friends? Is this more clear in certain situations or would this be always something you'll struggle with? What has your experience been?
Any thoughts are welcome!
VirgowithalilLibra
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Hi -
I am and aqua girl, involved (although it is just starting) with a virgo guy
we certainly are very different (especially communication) but i enjoy the differences for the most part, as long as the other party can appreciate them too, anyways, i have always felt the need to be with my friends, always, and have never forgotten them while in a relationship (even in the beginning when you are speding a lot of time with someone and getting crazycrazy). i have always told my boyfriends in the past (and this is before delving into astrology) that above all things, they need to be my friend first and have always appreciated when they can really stick by that. i had a long distance relationship with a sagittarius for 2 years and i was completely fine with it, i guess the friend/ bf time wasn't an issue since i only saw him once a month and then i would spend that time with him.... how often do you see each other? and how far do you live? is it a plane ride or a car drive? so my experience was not bad at all (we're still friends) because i didn't see him a lot so i guess it depends on how often you see each other. but to answer your question (in my point of view) i have always tried to balance time between friends and bf, and many times combine the two if possible, but i do need to see my friends, absolutely and a lot.
i have a question for you....how did aqua girl get virgo guy?
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After being with virgo guy for four years on and off and on and off....!!!!!(Me aquarius) - only last nite we sat down and we tried to analyse why after all the highs, lows, shouting, fighting, loving, hating, jealousy (on his part!), name-calling, drama-queening (on my part), why we still want to be together and are great friends.....eventually I said, let's not analyse this any more, it's a mystery, one of life's great!!!!! Sometimes you got to leave a tender moment alone. However, deep down, I think it's because I know he has a "good heart" - having said that the man rang at lunchtime.....one moment he had me laughing, next angry - blood-boiling pressure point with his sudden criticisms.......He's call himself Mr. Perfect and thinks he never makes mistakes:-) - but no better girl than me to remind him of his many, when need be!!!!
It's hard work sometimes.........
A x
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oh goodness...so great to hear about the aqua-virgo combos here! so i'm not the only one in this planet...yeah for me!
sasha - woah so welcome to the journey, as alana may agree smile
i'd say be prepare for awesome talks, great intellectual stimulation, but some little drama and frustration here and there...ha
the virgo-aqua combo is kinda like taking a ride to a VERY adventurous and unexplored land, where very few have been before...
it is not bad, at moments is like, "woah this person knows my mind and strives for similar things"...and that is always so appealing for a virgo...but at times is like "what in the world are you doing and why?!"
like alana mentioned, sometimes he/she seems to be the only one that will understand what you are trying to say...sometimes it feels like you talk in two different languages...
how did aqua got virgo? smile
well, i'll be glad to talk to you as you venture in this new relationship...so stay in touch with any questions...alana can help us out too.
for now though, i can tell you these things that i really like about my aqua girl:
- she gets what i'm saying more than any other girls i dated in the past (rapid thinker) so our conversations tend to be interesting no matter what the subject is.
- she is exciting, so i find it adorable when she smiles big and her eyes shine more than any starts at night...is a wonderful view.
- she doesn't agree with me about everything, but when she contradicts she doesn't with good facts and a sincerity that helps me to open my thoughts about things.
- she's different than me, but sees deeper within me, like i do see her too.
- she's cares for humanity like i do, and is all about making the world a better place too...i love community service activities and i know if she would live in my city, she would join in...and that is totally attractive in someone for me...
- she's unique and so am i...so we don't need to mold to what is current or expected.
- she's so sweet sometimes...and she loves my poems, music, and little gifts.
- she's so good at writing down her thoughts...
- she's loyal, for what i know...and like me...i think she has goen through her crazy stages in life, but know is looking for something more solid and stable...and i'm all about that too when it comes to relationships smile
- she is okay with me being picky
- she forgives and believes in me
i could go on and on...but these are some of those things why is hard for me to ever let her go...
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alana!
four years!! geez and i thought i had it long, lol.
yes, we had those analysis and conversations as well already...after our one and only break up.
sometimes i feel like we are back in track...sometimes i'm not so sure what we are ever since then...but i know we both love each other...so i give her the time she needs to figure out her feelings and thoughts.
so you guys have been steady for four years?
tell me, what is best for a virgo to do after a break-up with an aqua?
is it distance that has helped you figure out how u felt towards him (so letting you go for a while?)
or
is it a ex that stays as a friend a better option for you...so you can still make up your mind based on that continual communication?
basically, when she and i broke up, i didn't know if time was what she needed...i gave that to her over and over for weeks...but she still wanted to stay in touch...and what i was afraid is that she was trying to become "friends" with me instead of "getting back" with me...so i didn't know what to do...if distance myself, so she could miss me and realize what we have, or stay around so she could still talk and solve that throughout our conversations...
what do you think alana?
oh and sasha, she lives 2 hours from where i live.
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haha, thank you...i'm sure i'll have tons of questions!
those were all such nice things your wrote about your aqua girl!
how does she deal with the distance (is it as hard for her to deal with the distance as it is for you?)
and how often do you see her?
sag. guy lived a plane ride away so the situation was different, i didn't mind the distance because i guess i knew it was going to be like that from the beginning and we just dealt with it as best we could and helped each other through it and eventually it didn't bother me at all because i truly loved him and it was worth it.
is the distance one of the biggest issues in your relationship?
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sasha,
sorry to hear that distance was hard for the relationship w you ex sag.
the distance has been a factor for my aqua girl and i...
not so much the fact that we live 2 hours away or that her schedule is differnt than mine, because that i understand very well...but is more like the fact that she constantly felt torn between choosing to spend her free time with her friends or me.
somehow she likes to keep the separation and doesn't want me to be too close to her friends...and viceversa...so for her is like trying to fit two different worlds in her life, that in mine are not ever a struggle.
i love my friends, but i know things won't change between my friendships because i hang out more or less...my friendships are based on quality time as opposed to quality...for years and years. in her case though, it seems like she feels that if she would spend enough time with hers, she would loose them or would miss something...
so are different in that...
for me, a gf holds a priotity over my friends, not because i feel like it or not, but because i know she gives me a different level of commitment than my friends do.
not only that, but also she gives more of herself...emotionally and sometimes even physically...so in my mind, there is no point in comparing my friends vs. a gf...two totally different things. i'd spend more time with my gf hands down...unless the relationship was ending or was bad.
so i never understood well the struggles with aqua has with the "torn" feeling between using her free time equally w both groups...and sometimes...i felt like i was even one spot less in that priotity list...
sigh.
anyways, besides that distance that sometimes it's placed...and because of the friends situations and little time we have...
trust issues came at some point in the relationship.
i would say sasha, that if you really like this virgo guy and are any like my aqua girl. make sure you explain well this guy what those friends mean to you and how that is something he should never worry about.
because my aqua expected me to know that right away, but since i didn't, it took time to understand some of the friendships she has. we would have avoid lots of arguments if i had known she truly doesn't mean to misslead people and she truly is loyal to our relationship.
she got caught on few little lies, so that started a whole new roll of misstrust at some point in our relationship...
to be continued...
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part II
sasha, i'll try to finish here what i was saying.
virgos analyze things a lot and when it comes to trusting we are REALLY careful.
i take time to get to know someone...and i need to feel safe in order to love...to truly love.
when misstrust comes, we feel unsure of our feelings and we get a bit fuzzy.
how do i find trust in someone?
is not just a matter of being honest and/or pulling people to "talk" and try to convince of something.
i looke at little things and facts.
so, for example, my aqua now tells me "who" is going in certain trip before i even ask. also by obseving her during this year, i'd learned that she truly can be a loyal person when we go out...i may not say anything...but i see when she mentions me if someone asks...and i give her space to say and figure out things...so i play it cool...but behind the scene i am observing and paying attention.
she does the same too though.
she may not say it, but she can get jeloaus at times, lol, i love how she tries to hide that.
neither one of us though tries to display anything...but we both know each other well enough to know when one of us has done or is doing something wrong in front of the other person.
it took me all this year to finally know and understand that my aqua can be faithful to me...and know it's a long time...but i've also patient with her in a lot of her clueless ways...that's why she understands.
what made our trust issues get better?
me, recognizing my mistakes, since i can only take care of myself.
her, forgiving my missperceptions and doing a better job at explaining things.
honest communication.
lots of patience and understanding.
moving on to better things...
i undertands where my "trust" issues came from, so for me that has helped tons.
the more i understand something, the safer i feel.
so in brief 3 struggles we had:
1) balancing time with friends
2) physical distance
3) trust issues
but we are much better at all of that.
hope this helps!
smile
now a question for you...what do u need the most in a relationship?
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25th decan,
i hear ya about the feelings toward your taurus.
i have a friend who is taurus and we have lots in common, really nice girl.
i'm glad you found something that is important to you and that gives meaning to your relationship...
when it comes to prioritization, i totally agree with you and your girl.
if that was the order my aqua viewed too, i'd have had ever problems with that.
i think our relationship w God should be first, so if she was torn between me and going to church per say...no way would i be hurt by that.
i think, what she struggles with is placing her friends and her own wants with activities before anything else sometimes.
the order you mentioned your taurus places in time , that is how i go in life too.
and maybe is a matter of where you feel safe you know...
i think my aqua feels safer applying more time to her friends bc they haven't failed her in the past and can be there for a long time...that's her thought.
me, on the other hand, think...only God is all good...people can fail at time...so my trust is in Him first, then my family AND significant other, and then my friends...
my friends know that and they are completely okay with that...
i'm very friendly and have many acquaintances, but only few that i can call really good friends.
same happen for relationships...i have gone in various dates but only had counted gfs...
but when i'm in...i'm in...and i do the best i can to make things better and be a better person to experience more clearly all the goodness these relationships can bring.
anyhow, i better go back to work.
have a good day!
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Just seeing your questions Virgowithalittleo - do not fret or frown over the breakup. I can assure you that being aquarian if she didn't want to be with you now, she just wouldn't - end of story:-) yes, aquarians do like to remain friends with thier exes but that wouldn't mean you'd be an exclusive item which you seem to be - if I told you how many time we broke up and I swore I would never ever see that man again and he said the same, you'd be laughing your socks off:-) - as most on this board know if they have read some of my escapades of past years with Mr. Virgo!!
For me when we have a huge row, break up etc. I like about a week or two (at the most) space to simmer down and then I like Mister to ring:-) To be honest I like to see him ring late and nite and not take his calls a few days after!!!! I don't like anymore than 3 weeks to pass as I begin to feel rejected and may go on the "hunt" for someone else...just even for revenge sake!!! When he does ring, the first few phonecalls I will be "cold as ice" to him but by the third or fourth, I begin to thaw....make me laugh and I'm yours:-) So my advice is a few weeks at the most.....how can someone really miss you if you don't be apart for a while:-)
And I am very impressed with the way your expressed yourself about the things you like about your aqua girl -
If you really want to impress her for life - I'd leave a note of these attributes under her pillow:-) she'd be blown away - well I would anyway:-) - it's clear that you have a real "good heart".
Best wishse my pal.
Alana x

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Alana!
I really like your inputs. I can relate with your story with your Virgo so much, haha, it is sooo funny! We said the same "I'm done" with you line more than once this year for sure...but couldn't stay away from each other after that.
I'm defenitely going to consider taking the 2weeks-ring-patience-befunny approach after the next pseudo break-up we have (hopefully not in a whiiiile).
I'm giving her the space she needs to make her decisions right now, but like you so wisely said, I won't make her feel ignored.
I'll do it for my aqua and I'll see where things go.
I think she needs time to figure out what she wants right now, and if she wants me, and we can still have what we had then we will be ok...if she and I decided to rather be friends for a while, then...we'll have to see how things go.
For now, after our one and only break-up I think we need some recup and healing time...which is never a bad idea.
Meanwhile, I'll be truthful to my heart and be faithful to her because she's the only one I want, so even if she takes weeks, I'll wait.
Thank you again Alana! I'm here if you need to vent about youtr Virgo or ask questions any time k smile
Virgowall
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"somehow she likes to keep the separation and doesn't want me to be too close to her friends...and viceversa...so for her is like trying to fit two different worlds in her life, that in mine are not ever a struggle."
that is something i am not used to because i would always want my bf to hang out with my friends so i don't really understand why she would keep that separation except maybe like you said that she knows her friends won't let her down ...have you addressed this issue with her?
it seems that you guys are understanding each other better and helping each other to understand over time (i.e. her telling you who is going on a trip, you giving her space when you feel she needs it), even if it takes a while its worth it.
and yes, from my experience aquas do get jealous! but i try to hide it as much as i possibly can
also, like alana said " I can assure you that being aquarian if she didn't want to be with you now, she just wouldn't - end of story", i totally agree with that, i either definitely want to be with someone or definitely don't, usually no middle ground or wishy washy feelings.
and also, i think its a good idea not to make her feel ignored while giving her space if/when she needs, absolutely! and see how she responds to that
"i would say sasha, that if you really like this virgo guy and are any like my aqua girl. make sure you explain well this guy what those friends mean to you and how that is something he should never worry about." ...
i must admit i have explained very little(i.e. like if i can't hang out during the weekend, i have just said i'm busy this weekend but maybe we'll do something next week without really explaining to him my plans with my friends) to him, and i can see where miscommunication can be a problem....but i am also thinking that he just doesnt really care to know and then i won't bother him with it..(its also much easier for me to think this way and i know i should give it a shot and stop thinking so negative, i have a virgo rising..lol)
this past weekend, when i left his place in the morning (yes, we are sleeping together, its been a month) i just said oh i have to go and didn't say why or anything and that was it, i dont know if he wanted an explanation but i guess i am just scared and have my guard up more so than i ever have before in starting anything so i try to let him in a little but not too much....
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and in effect, it makes me shut down a little to the point where i don't really tell him anything about myself and just try to talk about him or other things...
so you asked what do i look for in a relationship?
(before i knew a lot about aquarius and how they are in romance etc..) i always told my bf that above all things he needs to be my real friend (and you know how aquas & friends are...and when i read that about aquas i thought it ws great b/c it does describe me to some extent),
so i need them to be my real friend, even if we are in the middle of a huge argument and not speaking to each other, if something happens in my life that is outside of my relationship, i need to be able to call my bf and ask for his help or just talk about it and not drag in our issues, which i have had this happen before and it is something that i truly appreciated.
another thing, is i need to be as loooony as i please and be completely comfortable to be myself and not walk on eggshells...(i had one bf, we used to dance around in bedsheets, paint his body, and build planetariums (not all at once), and it was so much fun!)
i also need my partner to make me laugh as much as possible and be silly
i don't need them to be super smart (well read would be nice, but its not a necessity) but to be passionate about something and be open to learning different things
to be continued shortly...
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and of course....trust, honesty and directness (no playing games or testing all the time), affection, trying to understand
its important to me when someone notices smaller details too and then says/does something to let me know they noticed it which tells me that they care enough to.
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Thank you for writing back. I'll come back with a response soon Sasha..
Hope all is well!
VLL
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All right...I'll try to make this short. I started to write my whole story but being a Virgo I went into far too much detail. So here it is: Virgo gal/Aqua guy/close to two months/studied up to learn how to deal with him/going good until Friday night/he says he feels bad when I feel bad because he can't spend more time with me (Friday night/card night w/ the boys)/said that I need to think about whether I want to stay with him/says he doesn't want to break up, that he really likes me, just that he can't give me lot more, only a little more/hasn't called for three days/should I call him?/what do I do?/any thoughts?/p.s. my birthday is Thursday Sad
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ginzette...
i totally understand your confusion right now.
the only one break up me and my aqua girl had weeks ago was for the same reason...isn't weird?
the same "i really wanna be with you, but i don't know that i can give you what you need"...same exact line...and it had to do with the "time" we have to see each other too.
she went on various trips during this summer that i wasn't part of, so for many weeks although she had a great time...of course i did miss her, so she knew...and i went on my own trips in return...to do my own thing...and that only separated us more.
but even after the break up...she called and for some reason gave me the idea that we were back...but to this day, i'm still very confused with what we are going to do.
so...i'll let the aquas here, answer you...but don't be sad ginzette...i know the way our aquas say things make us feel like they may not care enough to be with us...but maybe they do...so much so that they fear that they can't make us happy...and since they aren't as flexible to change and compromise by nature...then the only thing they can do is giving up a relationship.
i can tell you though, the break up is hard for them too, they may not show it, but i know deep inside my aqua was as scared as me of letting it go...and maybe that's patially why she still calls to this day.
right now, i am the one who is re-thinking about it all....
i would encourage you to also think about you...and what you may need and could be willing to compromise...because you are just as wonderful and as special as your aqua...no doubt about that!
oh and happy birthday...whatever you do, let yourself have an awesome day...it is your birthday and what you need the most is peace and happiness that day!
one big hug!
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Thank you so much for your insight! I, too have been re-thinking it...over and over. I know I over-analize, but so much of what he says just doesn't make sense. He says he'd like to keep seeing me and "see where it goes". I don't what he means...where would he like it to go...has is gone somewhere already? Should I ask him to explain? He seems to talk about marriage a lot. Like he just brings it up for no reason. The night we met he was so excited to meet me, he asked me to marry him 4 times! Of course he was only kidding around. But then he would say things like "what do you say we get married and do whatever". I would just chuckle at this. I have never brought it up because I know how it scares guys away. Anyway, it's way to early for that. Lately he's been talking about marriage and what a mistake it is. Why do people tie themselves down like that. And most marriages end in divorce. This is what led us to where we are now. We had this heated discussion during dinner last Thursday. Actually, he did all the talking. I don't even know what started it. He went on and on and I could feel my face getting hot. He was starting to say that it's mostly women...they'll settle for anybody because they are afraid of being lonely. I thought he was talking about me so I calmly said "maybe you should just leave". He was surprised by my reaction, but he did stay. It was the next morning when I asked if we were still going out that night when he said he might be playing cards. Of course he never makes definite plans with me. It's always "maybe we'll go out tomorrow night". So I couldn't be mad at him. He said he would call me after golf...but he waited until 9:00!!! I probably shouldn't be sitting around waiting for him but I can't make plans with my friends without a few days notice. So anyway, the coversation from the night before was weighing on him, plus the fact that I was dissapointed that I couldn't see him. And that's when he called me back and we had the "break up discussion". I feel like he may have left the ball in my court and I'm supposed to call him, but I'm so afraid to. I'm trying to give him time to think things over, too, because I think we both have to be willing to compromise. I'm afraid I will scare him away by suggesting this to him, but I don't think I can do things entirely his way. I really love the time we spend together and I want to "see where it goes" as he puts it. But I'm wondering if it will be worth all the anguish.
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ginzette!
maybe you and i can sort of these things out, with the help of sasha, alana, and other awesome aquas here...
i can ditto almost everything you shared, except that my aqua is a girl, but extremely unsure about balancing her time with friends too and just as indirect in the way she wants to resolve things...that's why is confusing...
the whole "maybe we'll hang out...this or that day"...kills me! lol you know that us, virgos don't feel safe when we don't know things well...so this is a hard point to deal with when dating aquas...bc they don't mind being in a "question mark" spot...in fact i've read that they like platonic relationships and all...whereas for us, we either are in or out...you know...we prefer to be certain about where we are heading...we feel safer that way...
so they whole "confusing stage"...that's exactly why i'm not talking with mine right now...it't been 4 days...
last time we talked over the phone (after not seeing her for 2 weeks even though i drove 4 hours just to see her one day, but she was gone) she kept on saying things like "i can't wait to meet your mom"...which of course make me be happy...but then she would say things like "i really want to see you...i just don't know when..."
so i said "what about sunday"...and she said "yeah, maybe sunday...i'm just so tired, i don't wanna get up to see my calendar...."
she knows she makes me fuzzy when she say things like this...sometimes i feel like she enjoys it...or tests me or something...and gizette...i can be, and have been extremely patient with her for a year now...but truly i have my limits too. so during that conversation i got more and more frustrated as time passed by...
and to top it all i just felt like she was attacking me a bit by mocking my feelings...because i told her that sometimes i felt like she doesn't consider how this "confusing stage" makes me feel...to which she said "hey, i call you..." to which i said "ooooh what a big favor!"...because that is how she makes it sound...and then she proceed to say ..."ohhh and it's all about your feelings"...so in return (i couldn't help it any longer) i said "no, it's all about YOU and want YOU want...
and that was the line who made her mad....because she knows is kinda true...but i couldn't help it. i felt like i was patient and patient but i became defensive towards the end.
continued....
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after we hung up...
i texted her once and said that i didn't feel very well after that conversation we had, BUT that i wished her well on her trip (she was taking a trip to see her college buddies for the weekend) and i said at the end "sleep well"...because obviously i care about her...enough to have mixed feeling like that...
i think she had a long day, so she was in a pissy mood and when she's tired...nothing matters at that point...
and she's awesome and i love her...
but sometimes i feel like she discounts all the good intentions i have to make things work between us now...after the break up we had.
i really think we can come stronger than ever...and i have offered her options, have opened up about my care for her (which is very hard for a virgo as you know), i have left gifts for her at her door...and have talked to her everytime she calls...
and yeah she calls....but all she does for us....a call...
and i know she's busy, and i know she's tired, and i know for some reason she has to apply most of her time to do things with her friends when she's free now (it didn't use to be always like this)...but the question is...where are we heading now?
sometimes i feel like it could be a temporal thing aquas go through in relationships...to detach....but honestly, i feel like i'm getting tired and i'm running out of hope for us.
after we hung up that night. i really felt like i didn't wanna talk to her for a while...
she has called twice or three times ever since....so maybe your aqua guy may come around too...and call you a day before your b-day or so...
the problem is...i still don't know what she wants.
i have told her what i would like, she knows...and she knows i don't want to be a friend right now...but she still calls...
and my fear is...what if she's only calling bc she doesn't want to have another bad break up with someone (2 of her exes don't talk to her to this day) or what if she just calls bc she wants to be liked....or because she wants to become friends...
why, if she really wants to be with me too, she wouldn't try harder? or is she...is this as hard as she can work?
i dont know.
so i haven't answered any of her call all weekend. i know she will stop calling and i'm sure she's not happy...but i need to some time too (God knows how many times SHE took and how patient i've been) to think what i need as well...
i love this woman, but can she learn to compromise a little...does she really want this?
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and ultimately...
do "i" want this and need this?
...
so ginzette as much as you love your aqua guy...think about what makes YOU happy too...and what do YOU need to.
because ultimately, even if our aquas come back and say "oooookay, whatever, let's get back together"...and we do...are things going to change? are you willing to keep on dealing with the same old thing? and if not, what can he/she give to make this time work better? what can he/she not?
sometimes, i feel like we, virgos, don't like giving up something...because we are so stubborn too...but we need to stop and think about what matters to us too...we get so trapped and confused with the people we love or care for...and try so hard to make it work...but truly...love should be something two people work on...is a growing experience to get us somewhere with somebody who is willing to walk with us...don't you think?
maybe things will work with your aqua...maybe things won't...but right now, since you can't control what his thinking or doing...worry about YOU and your needs and your wants...and then things may make more sense...
take the time YOU also need to figure out things...take advantage of the freedom YOU also have right now to make a choice smile don't let one choose for you...you are the only one who can take care of your heart and make choices for it....
i'll be here if you need encouragement. i'll let you know how things go for me too...
much peace and joy!
VLL
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So much of what you've told me sounds so similar to my situation, it's hard to believe. I have to ask you one thing, though. Can you remember back to the first few months? Did you see each other a lot? Were you in love? Since it has only been two months for us, these are the things I am struggling with. My friends say we should be "in the honeymoon stage". I have been trying to hold back because I don't really sense that he is falling in love with me. I think we both had "warm, fuzzy feelings" on the first four dates, but then he became kind of comforatble. As if we've been together much longer. I want to stay with him but it really shouldn't be an effort at this point. I already had a conversation with him about the "not calling". I expected him to be annoyed, but he wasn't at all. He has called me every day since then...until now.
Well, your help has been greatly appreciated. It just feels good to talk about it. I'm calling him tonight, so I'll let you know what happens. Wish me luck smile
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"i know the way our aquas say things make us feel like they may not care enough to be with us...but maybe they do...so much so that they fear that they can't make us happy...and since they aren't as flexible to change and compromise by nature...then the only thing they can do is giving up a relationship."

-YUP...that is what the aqua that i was with for 2 years did to me.
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ginzette...i can also ditto everything you said about your aqua...i understand exactly where you are coming from, only we were together for 2 years, not 2 months!!!
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"i have told her what i would like, she knows...and she knows i don't want to be a friend right now...but she still calls..."
-that is also what is happening with the aqua i dated. he knows i am not ready to be friends with him yet (since it has only been a couple of months since break up), but he still calls to see how i am doing and acts all buddy buddy with me...even though i told him to his face that i am not ready for that!
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good luckl ginzette! let me know how the "talk" goes okay.
i feel very tempted to call back my aqua, but i won't until at least few more days, if she hates by then, oh well...i've given her weeks and days in the past to do her thing...she should be fair and not mad at me, especially since i'm the one who has been trying to so hard to make things work lately.
i think i may call my aqua back on thrusday or friday...we'll see what she does on the meantime...i know i'll miss her, but i need this time...
as far as your question.
we always had little strugggles throuhgout the relationship..for the same old things...but it increased more so after our break up...she showed me side of her i never knew before...as i'm sure i did show her my sides too that aren't the prettiest lol
she can be very selfish and i can get bery picky and pushy...so when we get mad at each other is not that bad, but is extremely frustrating...
we both have smart mouths, and since we know each other better we know exactly what to say to bother the other one, without even thinking...which is not good.
that's why i wanted to talk to her more this weekend too make sure we don't get mean to each other and we respect our feelinsg and such...but she was SOOOO tired (as if she's the only who works in this planet)...so she couldn't talk much, didn't want to get up to check her calendar, and was making fun of me talking about "feelings" and such...so that made it for me...to re-think about all this...and if i really need this...
i think it is possible for you and your aqua to work things out if he's also willing, but just make sure you are REALISTIC about things he may change or not for you and also be careful with getting trapped in the confusing stage i am in right now...
my aqua is a fun girl, now, is just a matter of deciding whereas she is my type of girlfriend material or not...and this may not only be based on her sign, but also on her level of maturity and other factors ya know?
moonchild - i hear ya...and i'm sorry you had to go through that. i'm unsure about the future with my current situation, but i can tell you (and i even told this to my aqua when we broke up) things will be allright.
relationships teach us something new everytime, and we are ALL very deserving of happines, respect, and love...life is too short to get hung up in sadness for too long...we love, we gain or lose, we continue living and learning =)
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hi ginzette - i was just reading over your posts and i think if you do call him today, maybe try not to bring up all these issues (its also better to talk about them in person) all at once b/c he might get scared. being an aqua and a guy! and i think you should call him tonight, you have waited a few days and you shouldn't compromise yourself any more. aquarians tend to be space cadets and especially forgetful and the whole detached / need space quality is always in the aquarian description, and from the aquarians i know (myself included) it does hold true for the most part. if you can (when you see him) ease into some of the issues but without putting any pressure (maybe joke a little bit about it) on him, that could help him talk about them with you. i know its hard to do though.
(i know that sometimes i can go for days without calling the virgo guy i am seeing but i will still be thinking about him everyday, i just get caught up in other things and kind of forget even though i do like him)
it seems that you both are assessing the situation and giving each other the space to do so (which is both a virgo and aquarian need and trait).
how often do you see him? and how much more do you want from him? does he think its unreasonable (i'm not being judgemental in any way, i'm just asking those questions in order to better assess the situation)
also, i have read that aquarians like to play these games where they start on a topic only to see what you think about it and try to figure you out (the whole marriage issue with him) he might just be testing you to see how you feel about the subject, although i could be totally off about him, this is just "typical aquarian" behavior.
here is a pretty good link, its called linda goodman's "sun signs", its a good book, somehow i found it online and here is the link to aquarius chapters
http://mizian.com.ne.kr/englishwiz/library/names/zodiac/acquarius.htm
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Thank you so much for all of the advice. That is exactly how I was goung to approach it. As I mentioned in my earlier post he said "I can give you a little more, but not a lot more". And I said "I think it's a little soon to ask for a lot more". He said that is exactly what he wanted to hear me say. I do think he is testing me all the time. I think it's also why he left it up to me to decide what to do. We see each other twice, maybe three times a week. But last week only on Thursday. He tries hard to see me during the week, even though he has to get up at 4:00am for work. I tell him he can come and stay for a little while, but when he does he never wants to leave. This is causing him anguish because the next day he is dog tired at work. We spend every Thursday night together since we are both off Friday. He stays over but never gets a good night's sleep. This is also part of the reason he doesn't see me Friday night. It's the only night he can sleep in his own bed without having to get up in the morning. Then we'll go out Saturday afternoon, but he has to be in bed by 8:00 for work the next morning. I know he he's trying...but maybe he thinks it's just not worth the effort. I forgot to mention that he has only had this job for 5 months so it's really inportant to him.
Thanks again! I'll let you all know how it goes.
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"also, i have read that aquarians like to play these games where they start on a topic only to see what you think about it and try to figure you out (the whole marriage issue with him) he might just be testing you to see how you feel about the subject, although i could be totally off about him, this is just "typical aquarian" behavior"
-this is very true...the aqua i was with still does this to me and we are broken up and he left me for someone else...so he now has a girlfriend, yet he still calls me or texts me and tells me to call him just to see if i will. and then he will tell me about something going on in his life just to see what my reaction will be. he is STILL testing me and i don't know why??? does this mean he still cares...?
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moonchild -
how long ago did you break up/how long were you together?
the only thing i can think of in that situation is that i am friends with 3 out of 4 of my exes. and i definitely still care about them and want them to be in my life although i try very hard (well, after the breakup was still semi new, i.e. a few months) to not tell them things that would make them think i was playing games with them or testing them and just keeping it on a more friendly level than anything else, eventually after enough time passed for both of us to heal from the breakup, i let them more into my life and tell them who i am seeing and ask for advice, but because i genuinely want their opinion, not to play games or make them jealous, and because they know me pretty well they can give me more honest advice.
i don't know if that helps your situation but that is what i thought of reading your post.
did you and him decide to be friends after the breakup....or did the friendship just kind of happen?
so virgo men....i have a question....i just called my virgo friend and ugh! what a crankmonster...he was so moody and seemed so disinterested even though we made plans and he called me back promptly etc.
VLL - i am trying to be more direct with him, which when i say something i say it directly to leave as little room for over-analyzing and confusion on his part, its just when i don't say anything at all (as linda goodman calls it "aquarius lies through sins of ommission where they don't always tell the whole but more just a part"
so i thought i'll call and that will hopefully reassure him that i do want to see him etc. after bolting from his apartment this weekend without an explanation why (well, i'll tell you why - he made me feel like he was sitting around waiting for me to leave)
but he was so blahhh....is this typical ? hah....all these sun signs questions are funny but i can't help myself....or is he just moody? are virgos moody?
oh man....i just dont know, but i can't read him at all....and i've read that from many women on this message board that virgo men and hot and cold and hard to figure out so that makes sense with his behavior.
patience is what is needed, and aquarian forte (yea right!)
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*hh = blahhh
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"i know the way our aquas say things make us feel like they may not care enough to be with us...but maybe they do...so much so that they fear that they can't make us happy...and since they aren't as flexible to change and compromise by nature...then the only thing they can do is giving up a relationship"
we do care!!! lol... i don't know what i think of this statement although i can see how/why (from your posts) you wrote it and i can see it as a likely scenario.
VLL - i think giving her a little space is good, but do not ignore her for too long....although i agree with you that you need to take care of yourself too and can't keep neglecting that because she doesn't know what she wants.
"sometimes, i feel like we, virgos, don't like giving up something"
i think virgos maybe don't like giving up something maybe because like you said, once you are, you are in! and i know that with virgos it takes a lot of time and patience for them to trust you and decide if they want to be with you, but if they decide that they do want to be with you they are amazing and willing to work out any problems in the relationship tenaciously.
also, VLL i think its amazing that you have been so patient with her and (from what is sounds like) doing things a little more on her terms than on yours becuase you love her and you want it to work, and that is very nice of you. but also its hard to balance doing that and also not compromising yourself to the point where you are unsatisfied and feel like your needs are not being met.
and since you have told her what you want and she is deciding, the only thing i'm sure you know this but they only thing you can do is wait....sometimes (from my experience) i have definitely needed time to think things over about a relationship when there were problems.... to be continued shortly....
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and have appreciated when the other person gives me the time to figure things out in my time, i know that sounds selfish a little...but if they needed the time, i have given it to the too (both my longer relationships have been with sagittarius and they were ok with giving me space, although i know it has a lot more to do that just with astrology)

"relationships teach us something new everytime, and we are ALL very deserving of happines, respect, and love...life is too short to get hung up in sadness for too long...we love, we gain or lose, we continue living and learning =)"
that is a good way to look at it, its definitely hard to see that sometimes but it is true.
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I finally made the phone call! After agonizing for days and imagining every possible scenario as to how the conversation would play out, I managed to completely overlook the obvious. In typical Aquarian fashion he acted as if nothing ever happened! Can you believe it? After three whole days of not speaking to one another! I am totally bewildered! Here's what happened. I called from home and got his voice mail, so I just said "call me when you get my message". Not two minutes later he calls my cell. I didn't answer because I wanted him to call me at home...which he immediately did. He said he was on the phone with his friend and that he told him he had to go and call me because he hadn't talked to me for a while. When he hung up he noticed that I had called him. Then, without a word about what happened, he asks me how much an ipod shuffle costs. I was like "HUH?". Then he explained that he won one in the golf tournament. He's not computer savvy at all so he hadn't even opened yet. So he opens it while we are just talking small talk and then for the next hour I walked him through how to install the software and rip songs from a cd, and I'm thinking this is ridiculous! Finally, while he's still listening to a song with one ear he says "so, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?" I have no idea at this point...I'm so confused...so I manage to mutter "like what?". And he says "doesn't somebody have a birthday coming up?" And that was it!!! He's taking me out to dinner and says wherever I want to go is fine and that we'll talk about it tomorrow. So now I am as perplexed as ever because I want to tell him everything I am feeling but I know it will probably be a mistake. And I don't want to upset him or ruin my birthday. And I am already disappointed because he has to work on Friday and says we can't hang out very long and this will be the first Thursday he can't sleep over. I should be happy...not sad, right? I know all of this is typical and yet I am so confused! Why does everything have to be so difficult?......
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i feel the same way about virgos! i think its just a little funny how much we confuse each other (virgos & aquas) and then we have all these people on this board trying to understand the others sun sign...
anyways, it sounds like totally typical behavior you are right about that....is there a way you could bring up some issues with him without getting into every issue? and working it up slowly so he has time to think and digest the information and is not overwhelmed? also so he is not on the defensive and feels comfortable to approach the subject
(i am saying that from a woman's perspective talking to a man in general, regardless of sun sign)
it is kind of crazy that you walked him through an ipod installation for an hour though
can you hang out with him on friday night (and have dinner on thursday too?)or can he stay over at some point during the weekend?
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Who knows about Friday or Saturday. I'm sure he'll say "maybe we'll do something" like he always does. He won't have a day off till Sunday, and I bet he'll be playing golf. We'll just have to wait and see. And yes...approaching the issues gingerly will probably work best. I don't want him to think he can always get his own way...that he needs to compromise a little. So I may talk with him a little over dinner. Or maybe even tomorrow when he calls.
I'm so wiped out from all of this! I'm off to bed. Thank you so much Sasha for all of your help and thoughtfulness!
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ginzette and sasha, you both make me smile!
ginzette, i read it all, good luck with your plans with this guy. take the advices sashahe gave you...bring issues up little by little IF u feel the need to do it...i think that is a mistake i made in my last chat with my aqua girl too...bringing it all at once...i know i could take it, but i think an aqua may feel a bit overwhelmed and dettach or run, lol.
moonchild - yeah, i'm lost of words at the "ex" thing aquas do. it could be that he really is trying to stay friends...it could be that he still has feelings for you...but realistically speaking (and i'm not sure that you are a virgo) but the thing is...he does have a new girlfriends, so no matter what his deal is, i would just stay where you are and not let my heart go anywhere near that situation...it's only fair for YOU and also for his new gf...
i hope time keeps on showing you how wonderful you are as a gf and as a friend! =)
sasha!
how sweet of you to write back to all these people here. i hope you are getting enough time left to sleep =)
you seem such a sweet and charming girl, that virgo guy better be nice!
"are virgos moody?"
lol, i think more than moody...is the fact that we get fuzzy when we got some problem or doubt going on in our heart.
maybe he seemed a bit mooody because he didn't hear from you so much lately? or maybe he was looking for some sort of response from you about something he said that he didn't get?
one of the problems with the aqua/virgo combo is that we both are stubborn and VERY cautious about showing our emotions (as you can see in gizette and my posts) we, like you guys, think a lot through things...but when the time comes to "talk" about it, we only talk about "part" of how we are feeling...the rest that hasn't been said or solved is seen in our discomfort...or temporal fuzziness...
but once you and him get to find out good ways to communicate...i think you could be good.
is just a matter of breaking all these walls that aquas and virgos put between them...to get to a point where we could completely trust each other and understand each other enough to feel always loved and cared for...
if you maybe give room to your vigo guy to tell you any concerns or doubts he may have at some point...about your relationship or anything really...he may open up bit by bit..and then you will know what's going on.
continued...
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i know aquas have so much in their mind going on, and so many things they want to do...so when it comes to talking i feel like my aqua girl would not always give me the room i needed to open up and sort through out issues...and i had the same fear that gizette has...to lose her if i would...so i kept on going, ignoring, but at the same time getting a bit bitter inside, until one day i'd bring it all at once.
so i would say, maybe if there is a way to give him some room to open up even if only about one subject at a time, with your full attention on it, he may learn to feel safe with you to do that when it comes to talk about your relationship later on.
you know...you are SO right about how aquas and virgos missunderstand each other...even when there i love...and when we can both think logically...we need to keep on working at trying to see each other for who we are to know what we mean when we do or act a certain way.
i didn't share this, but at the beginning of my relationship w my aqua *i* was the one running away...and i was the one trying to break up with her at least once a week, lol, i just was so unsure if i could trust her, if i needed her..and if i would ever feel safe with her...
but after a year..the role switched a little, because our many separated trips, trust issues, and just physical distance got to us...and this time "i" am the one trying to mend things and to work things out.
i know she loves me....i just think she's sure anymore about what we can do...and she takes her looooong time....and in the meantime i'm going nuts, i may not show it in the outside, but i truly think about her everyday.
i miss her and i smile when i remember some things...but part of me is trying really hard to move on...is so confusing...
question for you sasha:
i may talk to my aqua tonight, i couldn't wait any longer...it's been 4 or 5 days now, so i texted her last night, and she sais she will call me tomorrow.
i'll probably talk to her about random things first (my house, my family, my day, etc) and ask her also random questions about her work and such...
she has only 30 minutes for us to talk, bc she'll be on the her to work.
i'm really wanting to see her, and last time we talk, i brought it up, and she mad me mad w her careless attitude towards that...should i bring it up? should i wait until she brings it up? should i get frustrated if she still says "i don't know" or "maybe" AGAIN...should that take that as a sign(contined..)
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should i take her unsureness to meet me anytime soon after this break up, as a sign that she doesn't want to get back with me?
sasha, how do you operate after break-ups when you DO want to get back with someone again?
she has had back-and-forth relationships in the past.
but i don't know, if i need to give her more weeks (it's been like 2 or 3 already) to decide...or to slowly move back into the idea to get back with me...or is it pretty clear by now that she doesn't want anything?
is asking her the only way? should i just remain in touch with her, until "she" feels ready to see me? or would that make things way too easy for her?
i know she's not dating anybody, at least she said that she would promise to tell me if she would. i know she loves me...and i know she calls me almost everyday...i know she's still doing the same old things...and i do want to talk to see what is up in her mind, but i feel like she never ever has time to have a deep talk with me lately, when she does, she's usually so tired and i don't want to bother her then...
but i don't know how many more weeks i can go w/o knowing what she really wants....i just don't want to scare her by bringing it up though.
i mean...i'm just clueless about what to do right now...
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sasha...we were together a little over 2 years...and he broke up with me 3 months ago...over the phone!!! he left me for another girl, who he had been sort of seeing while he was with me. so i have know about this girl for 2 months now, b/c i found out through a friend of mine. and even after i knew i asked him about her and he denied it and lied about it to me...even after he broke up with me.
anyway, he never really even gave me an explanation of why he broke up with me...he gave me a bunch of excuses which i later came to find out were to cover up the fact that he was going behind my back with someone else.
so, we didn't decide to be friends and i even told him it is too soon for me to be his friend, so he knows how i feel about it...but he still continues to call/text me. in fact, he texted me this morning saying how he has been thinking about me and how he misses me...so, i don't think he is just trying to be my friend. i think he is majorly stringing me along!!!
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ginzette - let us know how it goes tonight and happy birthday!
VLL -
thanks!
you are right about the communication factor with virgos and aquas
i feel like i am giving him room to say anything he wants to me but he is shy and reserved and i think probably feels uncomfortable being direct about us which is ok, its still too early to even have any sort of serious discussion. he can barely answer a yes or no question....but i am working on it!
thank you for the advice....
have you called your aqua girl?
if she only has 30 min. to talk i don't know if i would bring up any serious issues (with any sun sign really...lol) because you need more time to discuss all of these things, and i know it's better in person and you would probably prefer it that way but you don't know when you will see her....
i wouldn't take her unsureness as a sign, she is most likely stepping back to see the whole picture and evaulating it on top of all the other stuff she has going on.
i think you should tell her that you want to see her, you shouldnt compromise to an extent where she makes all the decisions and your feelings are constantly hurt, its not fair to you. i think you should tell her that you want to see her and if she says she is not ready to, then leave it at that, but if she says "maybe" or "i'm so tired" try to ask her to set a date aside for you.
i will tell you this: i have noticed this in myself and in other aquas - we are completely flabergasted when you accuse us of something (even if we know that we do whatever it is we are being accused of) and completely get on the defensive, its terrible really and i have tried to work on it but everytime i react the same way nonetheless (which kind of ties in with the whole slow to change fixed personality) . this sort of ties in with how we can't handle rejection and have no idea what to do when it does happen.
i can't answer whether or not its clear that she doesnt want anything or does...about giving her more time....don't bring it up with her because i think that once she has made up her mind she will tell you, but do keep trying to push (lightly) the idea of getting together with her, once you see her you will know a lot more b/c of body language etc. and you can start to slowly bring up one issue at a time, the most important i guess being the state of your relationship and what she wants.
i know its hard to keep in touch with her everyday when you have no idea wahts going on....and its
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not fair but you love her and i think you should definitely keep in touch with her...
when i have wanted to break off a relationship, its usually a struggle for me to talk to them, especially everyday, but i also don't really have the back and forth thing, when i know i don't want to be with someone, i need to break it off, and speak to them as least as possible until i have enough nerve to do it.
when i have wanted to get back with someone....if it was a mutual thing then i let them come to me more because i am scared of the potential rejection,
also, i would not call you if i didn't want to be with you because i probably wouldn't want to talk to you everyday, not in a mean way or anything but because i would need to step back and also i wouldnt want to hurt you.
so that is from my experience.
i know what you mean about her being tired and you not wanting to bring in heavier subject matter and overwhelm her, but i would say if things dont change in a week or two (however long you can wait) then you need some answers and you at least need to know what she is considering and/or what direction she is heading in respect to your relationship. and if freaks out a little if you bring it up eventually, you need to tell her that you are willing to wait (if you are, which is what it seems like) but you can't be completely in the dark about this and ask her to put herself in your shoes or just think about what it would be like if the situation was reversed, although try not to put her on the defensive...maybe by saying things like "i love you and i dont want to put pressure on you and i understand that you need time but...." (if you do feel that way)
so when is the last time you spoke to her about any of this and when is the last time that she told you she needed more time?
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moonchild - i'm sorry you had to go through that breakup
he might be majorly stringing you along....and that is just not right especially because he is with someone else and lied to you about it
he can't have his cake and eat it too!!! lol...
do you still want to be with him?
and if you are not ready to be friends with him, he should respect that.
have you told him that? and if so, what is his reponse?
does he say things like "i still want to be friends with you"
since you found out about this new girl, when you speak to him does he tell you anything about her?
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well, he has been calling and texting me lately, which makes me think he is not too happy with his girlfriend. and yes, he thinks he CAN have his cake and eat it too!!! i don't really know what to do in my situation b/c i do still have feelings for him and i would love for us to work out...but i cannot put myself through this situation again. he has been telling me lately through text that he has been thinking about me and he misses me, but i don't know if he is just saying those things to string me along and keep me where he wants me...or if he truly means what he says. i feel that if he wants me back, he will have to work very hard to get me back...
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...and no, he does not talk about his girlfriend to me. if i ask him a question about her he gets VERY uncomfortable and quickly changes the subject...
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moonchild,
you had said before that you think he is stringing you along...i would have to agree with you. stay strong! you're not a back-up plan, you're a person who doesn't deserve to be taken advantage of. i am sure its hard for you since you still have feelings for him, but you're better of staying away from his mess in the long run. if you feel he's worth getting back together with, make him work for it. as they say actions speak louder than words. make him prove himself to you!
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sasha,
thank you again for all your time and your insights, you are so great.
i did ended up having the "talk" with my aqua last night...
all these weeks, like in moonchild's case, i was recieving all these mixed signals from her after the initial "break up" talk...so i was very very torn and confused about what we were or not anymore.
i waited and waited...sent e-mails and tried to see her once last week...i think i did most of what i could to let her see we still had a chance.
she in return called me everyday even though she would never set a time to see me anymore...
like a friend of hers told me, i think as long as there are people adoring her and all around her. she doesn't see any need to change, work at, or compromise even a bit...to make things better for us...
she can't fogive little mistakes i made, yet she gets mad when i ever mention things she had done that confused me too...she gets very very mad (it may be the defensive mechanism you mentioned)
i asked her one more time, if she was coming to town, after having some low key casual conversation...and she still said "you know, i don't know"...so i couldn't wait any longer and we had the talk...
it's pretty much over between us now...
she acted like a totally different person that the one i fell for during our conversation. she was so cold, a bit harsh in her words, and just very careless about what we could do or not...the excuses she had to be mad...were things we could have fixed...but i think ultimately she's just not ready to give up a lot of stuff she still wants to have (trips with her exes, all the time she needs with her friends, freedom to do as she pleases, etc)...things i was always willing to understand but i just wanted a little of her time for us to plan things together...especially now that our anniversary was coming up.
i think she's just giving up...and i can't make her want to fight for something she doesn't hold as dear as i do.
this may have nothing to do with her aquarius sun, but rather with her level of maturity right now...but i think she may be a little bit selfish and just not very nice when things don't get her way...i feel very sad and dissapointed, because i thought our year together meant more than that...but you know...
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it could have been worst...
i could have stayed for many years more (we even talked about her moving here and us having kids in the past, but maybe she just said that...who knows)and one day randomly she would have decided that she was done with me bc i didn't call her right away or didn't do this or that...or because she couldn't travel again with her ex...it was so much i couldn't even completely share here...
i wanted to fight for our relationship because i thought our love and bond was stronger than that...and maybe i'm an idealistic, but i truly wanted to build a foundation of trust and love with her. i know we were different, but we complemented in so many ways...and she seemed to be so in sync with me so many times...
only weeks ago she was telling me that she loves me, and only days ago she asked me when she could meet my mom...then out of nowhere she says things like "i don't give 2 s**** about what you do with your life"...and trust me i did try to give her all the options both by e-mail and over the phone.
well, at least we got that one clear...now it make sense why some mutual friends wouldn't call back...they probably knew this was coming...
maybe i was wrong...maybe i've been wrong all this time...
right now, i don't know what to think.
i wrote her one last e-mail last night. telling her that no matter what emotions i'm going through, i don't hate her...and that i was sorry for anything i may have done that hurted her in the past...even if they seemed little for me, maybe they were big for her...
i know she will never apologize for any mistakes on her part (that would be a miracle) but i think it takes two and is not about pride anymore towards the end, but about what is fair...at least out of respect for each other and everything we gave during this year...at leat that's how i feel.
i ended my e-mail with a song that i always wanted to play for her (she never gave me the chance to play for her) and then i sent the e-mail and went to bed..
i'll always pray for her, no matter what.
i'll probably take time to restore my heart too, because just as slow as i got involved, it may take some time for me to get these feelings out...
anyhow, sorry for all the venting.
things will be allright over time and i'm sure there are awesome aqua girls, like sasha and alana out there...maybe i just wasn't that lucky this time.
VLL
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VLL:
All of this is making me sad. I'm wondering now if it's all worth it. Perhaps I can distance myself a bit, but yet I keep finding myself falling in love with my Aqua and being depressed about not seeing him more. We Virgos have a strong need to nurture and care for the people we love. If we don't get the same in return then how are we to survive? I can't live on the spur of the moment. I can't take "maybe" for an answer over and over again. I can't hide my true feelings for someone. I am trying to be understanding, but it's difficult.
I will read all of your posts in detail later and try to support you in whatever decisions you make. Hang in there! You are very special and one day you will truly be appreciated for all you are!
sasha:
Thanks for the birthday wish. Tonight's the big night. I should try to lower my expectations, but I can't help being excited. It has been so long since I've seen him. I am hoping he is loving and understanding of that. I'm so nervous and anxious that I can hardly think! I'll let everyone know how it goes tomorrow. Thanks to everyone again!
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ginzette and sasha,
please don't for a second feel down with my post.
work your virgo/aqua relationships...
mine may not have worked, but it may have to do with so many other factors.
one thing for sure is that aquas and virgos are awesome no matter what!
i may not have found thr right 'aqua' this time or maybe not at the right time...but that doesn't mean others wouldn't have a long future in that combo.
ginzette - thank you for your support...virgo hugs!
i know what you mean about the nature we have to nurture and feel nurtured...TOTALLY understand you...as much as I can understand the need aquas have for freedom.
i know you are afraid...i've been for a while at times...but just be yourself and true to what is also important for your life...anyone whoever loves you will cherish that.
aquas come in all sizes and types =) so maybe you and him can learn to compromise and maybe he's not as inflexible as mine was...maybe you living closer will help more too...and also just maybe the fact that you both can avoid some of the mistakes we made.
if you really want to invest and work things out with your aqua i'll be here to give you some tips...through my own experience, but if one day you chose not to...or it doesn't work, i;ll be here to remind you the same things you do too...of the great value and special presence we all have in this world.
sasha - how are things going with your virgo? are you guys talking a bit more? i bet he's scared and confused at times too...
like i said, i think the key is learning more about each other before you get too involved and feeling safe to talk about anything...me and my aqua missed these two things and that caused us to fall...
i didn't always feel safe to open up...and she and i didn't know each other as well as we should have before we jumped into our relationship...we discovered one another as we did...she trusted me right way...it took lots of time for me...and by the time i did...she was already getting tired...and then the safety issues...the needs we each have..the distance...so many things.
good luck to both of you...i'm leaving work right now, have a wonderful day ladies!
VLL
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