How to keep a man
This topic was created in the Relationships forum by krysrenee7 on Saturday, September 7, 2013 and has 45 replies.
They say men are simple and that the best & most simple way to keep a man is to F him, Feed him & shut the F up!
(Assume the guy is actually a good man who is right for you----this doesn't apply to the guys who cheat, are abusive, non-committal or abusive, etc. Of course it'll take an arm & a leg to keep someone who never truly loved/respected you to begin with! I'm talking about the genuinely good guys out there who truly love and respect the woman they are with/dating.
Guys, do you agree with this?!
And for those of you who are going to write a book saying that it takes more to keep a man, well duh, I'm just saying that sometimes you've gotta sum things up & keep it short, sweet & to the point lol
(Assume the guy is actually a good man who is right for you----this doesn't apply to the guys who cheat, are abusive, non-committal or abusive, etc. Of course it'll take an arm & a leg to keep someone who never truly loved/respected you to begin with! I'm talking about the genuinely good guys out there who truly love and respect the woman they are with/dating.
Guys, do you agree with this?!
And for those of you who are going to write a book saying that it takes more to keep a man, well duh, I'm just saying that sometimes you've gotta sum things up & keep it short, sweet & to the point lol
The Shut the F up?? So what you can't have an opinion if you want to keep your man? Not in my book, probably why I'm single but my opinions count!
I heard this quote from a good friend of mine!
He said that when most guys actually get to the nitty gritty of the real problems with their girlfriends/wives, it normally comes down to a lack in 1 of those 3 lmao!
Either she
1. Isn't sexing him enough OR in the way he likes (which leads to more problems lol)
2. Isn't appealing to his need for cooking (that's actually good) (which leads to more problems lol)
3. Or she nags too much or doesn't communicate effectively with him when she's angry, upset or ready to criticize him for something (which DEFINETELY leads to more problems lol)
As strange & simple as it sounds, I actually kind of agree & found this interesting!
He said that when most guys actually get to the nitty gritty of the real problems with their girlfriends/wives, it normally comes down to a lack in 1 of those 3 lmao!
Either she
1. Isn't sexing him enough OR in the way he likes (which leads to more problems lol)
2. Isn't appealing to his need for cooking (that's actually good) (which leads to more problems lol)
3. Or she nags too much or doesn't communicate effectively with him when she's angry, upset or ready to criticize him for something (which DEFINETELY leads to more problems lol)
As strange & simple as it sounds, I actually kind of agree & found this interesting!
On top of it all, I am who I am and if the man can't except that then they aren't worthy of keeping.
I don't believe in changing to suit them, as they wouldn't need to change to suit me!
I don't believe in changing to suit them, as they wouldn't need to change to suit me!
Posted by sweethearts
The Shut the F up?? So what you can't have an opinion if you want to keep your man? Not in my book, probably why I'm single but my opinions count!
No no, not shut the F up as in don't speak or not having a voice
Hell, most men, unless they're abusive, prefer a woman who speaks her mind & has a backbone.
He meant shut the F up as in nagging too much or dragging things, feelings or arguements on longer than need be as a lot of women have a tendency to do!
Posted by sweethearts
On top of it all, I am who I am and if the man can't except that then they aren't worthy of keeping.
I don't believe in changing to suit them, as they wouldn't need to change to suit me!
Well there is such a thing as EFFECTIVE communication
And in a man's defense, yes expect to be single forever if you never learn how to communicate effectively
You can't really argue with or justify things when what you're doing or how you're doing things isn't working.
Men, just like women, have a right to expect someone who can communicate effectively. Nothing wrong with that. The only people who disagree are usually very argumentative, never satisfied, hold grudges, aren't good listeners, etc....in other words, those kinds of women are-----> SINGLE! As they should be
Posted by sweethearts
On top of it all, I am who I am and if the man can't except that then they aren't worthy of keeping.
You're right. IF you communicate effectively & a man can't appreciate that or knocks you for it, then no he's NOT worthy of keeping
HOWEVER, if you don't value effective communication then YOU aren't worth keeping.
IJS
After the honeymoon period...is the guy actually worth keeping? They slacken off themselves and are no longer the prize they once were.
They certainly have to give out so that we can give back in the kitchen and the bedroom and have you ever thought what a woman will be nagging at?? Mmmm I can think of a lot of examples and most of it is standard stuff that they probably should be doing without being asked begged or nagged at to do it!!
They certainly have to give out so that we can give back in the kitchen and the bedroom and have you ever thought what a woman will be nagging at?? Mmmm I can think of a lot of examples and most of it is standard stuff that they probably should be doing without being asked begged or nagged at to do it!!
Posted by krysrenee7Posted by sweethearts
On top of it all, I am who I am and if the man can't except that then they aren't worthy of keeping.
I don't believe in changing to suit them, as they wouldn't need to change to suit me!
Well there is such a thing as EFFECTIVE communication
And in a man's defense, yes expect to be single forever if you never learn how to communicate effectively
You can't really argue with or justify things when what you're doing or how you're doing things isn't working.
Men, just like women, have a right to expect someone who can communicate effectively. Nothing wrong with that. The only people who disagree are usually very argumentative, never satisfied, hold grudges, aren't good listeners, etc....in other words, those kinds of women are-----> SINGLE! As they should beclick to expand
Didn't have any problems in those 3 areas you pointed out with my last bf and it still didn't work so none of this was true.
Well put yourself in their shoes.
When are you most likely to listen to someone as opposed to shutting down?
Is someone most likely able to get to you when they voice their concern in a respectable mature way/tone OR would you prefer someone who nags your head off, won't ever shut up, always has to complain about something & yells/screams like a spoiled brat when they don't get their way?
I'm sure you'd much more prefer the 1st kind of person lol And if you would prefer that, why is it so hard to understand or believe why a man would want that too?
When are you most likely to listen to someone as opposed to shutting down?
Is someone most likely able to get to you when they voice their concern in a respectable mature way/tone OR would you prefer someone who nags your head off, won't ever shut up, always has to complain about something & yells/screams like a spoiled brat when they don't get their way?
I'm sure you'd much more prefer the 1st kind of person lol And if you would prefer that, why is it so hard to understand or believe why a man would want that too?
I don't yell or nag but I don't agree with what you are saying in entirety either.
There's no such thing as advice fits every single person, age, situation, relationship, circumstance. No such thing as 1 advice fits all.
And you talk about how men change after the honeymoon stages. Well honey, you might need to adjust your expectations on what a commitment/marriage is really about
If you're expecting things to be like they were on the 1st day when you're 10 years in, you've set an unrealistic expectation.
Women change all the time. They get comfortable. They stop wearing as much makeup. They stop counting calories. They stop dressing as nice. They stop trying to impress him as much. They stop with the charm they had on their 1st date. They stop a lot of things. But not b/c they don't care. No, it's just that with comfortability comes some changes sometimes
And if women don't want to be made to feel bad b/c sometimes they don't do things "as much," why be hypocritical or have the double standard that men don't deserve the same respect w/o being bashed as men or overly criticized for something that women do all the time?!!
Nothing wrong with that if you're with the right person. Notice I said, sometimes a person stops doing something "As much," not all together. Big difference.
And you talk about how men change after the honeymoon stages. Well honey, you might need to adjust your expectations on what a commitment/marriage is really about
If you're expecting things to be like they were on the 1st day when you're 10 years in, you've set an unrealistic expectation.
Women change all the time. They get comfortable. They stop wearing as much makeup. They stop counting calories. They stop dressing as nice. They stop trying to impress him as much. They stop with the charm they had on their 1st date. They stop a lot of things. But not b/c they don't care. No, it's just that with comfortability comes some changes sometimes
And if women don't want to be made to feel bad b/c sometimes they don't do things "as much," why be hypocritical or have the double standard that men don't deserve the same respect w/o being bashed as men or overly criticized for something that women do all the time?!!
Nothing wrong with that if you're with the right person. Notice I said, sometimes a person stops doing something "As much," not all together. Big difference.
Posted by sweethearts
I don't yell or nag but I don't agree with what you are saying in entirety either.
No worries. I understand hun. Was just saying that effective communication can take you a lonnnnng way in a relationship lol
Posted by krysrenee7
... doesn't communicate effectively with him
Ehh-- that's a far cry from "won't shut the f*ck up".
And really-- it's better for all parties concerned that I don't cook.
Good cooking, good conversation, good sex, and stay looking good. LOL.
Posted by natural25
Good cooking, good conversation, good sex, and stay looking good. LOL.
Sums it up
Posted by DMVPosted by natural25
Good cooking, good conversation, good sex, and stay looking good. LOL.
Sums it upclick to expand
Hiiiiii DMV!!!
Posted by charliebears
I DON'T NEED GOOD COOKING.
Bwahaahahahaha!!!
Once you eat my cooking, you will. Ha!
This thread comes of as its all about what he wants is what I get...equality is what I want and expect. Until I find that I'm more than happy being single.
Anyone that settles for less, good luck to you.
Anyone that settles for less, good luck to you.
I thought people were just listing things that keep a man happy in relationships. Not to negate or dismiss the needs and desires of a woman...just offering an opinion on what men might want.
Acknowledging what makes one happy does not take away the importance of the others' desires and needs....
Acknowledging what makes one happy does not take away the importance of the others' desires and needs....
this is a cute thread.
"How to keep a man!"
1)get a very sturdy and durable rope
2) bondage straps
3) get red lipstick, take his clothes off, kissing him all over his naked skin so his skin is all red and blistery from the red lipstick
4) gag him
5) make sure his legs and arms are secured tightly
6) also, feed him so he doesn't go hungry (both food and you know what) LOL
7) under NO circumstance should you recite poetry for him and chatter away like a peacock when he's tied up.
8) Refer to Kathy Bates in "Misery" for other "how to keep a man" guidelines.
"How to keep a man!"
1)get a very sturdy and durable rope
2) bondage straps
3) get red lipstick, take his clothes off, kissing him all over his naked skin so his skin is all red and blistery from the red lipstick
4) gag him
5) make sure his legs and arms are secured tightly
6) also, feed him so he doesn't go hungry (both food and you know what) LOL
7) under NO circumstance should you recite poetry for him and chatter away like a peacock when he's tied up.
8) Refer to Kathy Bates in "Misery" for other "how to keep a man" guidelines.
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PICK YOUR BATTLES.
Posted by kalin
maybe someone can start a thread for how to keep a woman??
Easy...
Be faithful, handsome, loving, caring, rich, practical. Be available but emotionally aloof, don't talk about your feelings.
Have I missed anything, ladies?
Posted by kalin
maybe someone can start a thread for how to keep a woman??
+1000000000000000
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by lisabethur8
this is a cute thread.
"How to keep a man!"
1)get a very sturdy and durable rope
2) bondage straps
3) get red lipstick, take his clothes off, kissing him all over his naked skin so his skin is all red and blistery from the red lipstick
4) gag him
5) make sure his legs and arms are secured tightly
6) also, feed him so he doesn't go hungry (both food and you know what) LOL
7) under NO circumstance should you recite poetry for him and chatter away like a peacock when he's tied up.
8) Refer to Kathy Bates in "Misery" for other "how to keep a man" guidelines.
I think you're on to something. LOL. Except #3 eh...blisters. Eew.
And I think I will torture him with poetry. Thanks lisabethur8, I'm feeling more confident about keeping my man already.click to expand
LOL you're welcome. Yeah, even if it's BAD poetry, he'll LOVE it anyway. ^_~
Posted by natural25
I thought people were just listing things that keep a man happy in relationships. Not to negate or dismiss the needs and desires of a woman...just offering an opinion on what men might want.
Acknowledging what makes one happy does not take away the importance of the others' desires and needs....
Exactly! Thank you!
I made it very clear in the 1st post that I wanted people to answer this question assuming that OTHER things are good TOO(like personality, respect, love, etc.)
If men asked women if "Listening" was a BIG trait women desired, most women would say YES. Who said that saying yes to that question meant that being a good listener was ALL a woman needed? I mean come on!
I think a lot of the people posting negatively about this question are answering this question by comparing the advice to a BAD relationship/experience with a man they've had. And in that case, of course this advice seems like bull.
Exactly the reason I said this post only applies to the men who actually DO love, respect & want to be with their partner.
Why would this advice apply to bad men or men who were never truly committed? If the relationship was never with the right guy/woman to begin with, of course this advice won't work! But it's not b/c the advice is bull, but more b/c the people in those relationships are lacking something huge like respect, love, & commitment.
Plus, I'd like for MEN to answer this question mainly! Women for centuries have always been trying to answer questions for men! And it's no secret that a lot of men will disagree with women or agree that the women are somewhat "off" in their answers when it pertains to how men think & what men want!
They do polls/studies all the time that conclude that SOME TRAITS are more desired by men than others. Of course there's always gonna be that 1 or 2 guys who say, nope, not important to me BUT we're talking about the majority here.
And just b/c a trait is more important to a man as opposed to a woman, doesn't mean that what they "want" is bull
Posted by kalin
maybe someone can start a thread for how to keep a woman??
This is what they call "Convenient memory/thinking"
There are magazines, articles, books, studies, polls & threads all over the place about women & how to please them, make them happy & keep them!
I mean come on, women dominate threads & their opinions on things all the time!
But the 1 post that's just for the GUYS to answer for once, women get all jealous & upset & start feeling left out lol
Take a chill pill ladies =P
It's not that there aren't any threads about how to please women, it's that women overall feel misunderstood & not heard, so they attack threads like this instead of admitting the real problem in that no matter what they still feel guys aren't "hearing" them
Take that up with the guys in your lives, not the anonymous people just trying to have a dialogue about things lol
Posted by May31Baby
Chris rock is who said "feed me fuck me and shut the fuck up" and you know what, thats a good way to keep me haapy too. All the females whining about 'omg he doesnt want to communicate! He doesnt care about my feelings!' (Loose interpretation) you are the females that probably need to stfu sometimes. I guarentee if you fuck him good, feed him good, fuck him again and then relax and dont go running off at the mouth... Hes happy as a clam. He aint going anywhere! True story.
It doesnt mean sit there and be in obedient silence. It just means be quiet sometimes
lol I can tell by some of the responses & how some are dragging this out or making this post out to be what it's not that THEY are probably the main ones who the "Shut the F up" rule applies to in their own relationships!
Women always think someone is out to get them or silence them! lol So their reaction is to attack attack attack, defend defend defend & take 1 thing (vs. the whole big picture) and run with it! The very thing I think men are mostly complaining about lol
I find it funny & down right interesting that women complain about the things men complain about towards them lmao
The irony
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by krysrenee7Posted by May31Baby
Chris rock is who said "feed me fuck me and shut the fuck up" and you know what, thats a good way to keep me haapy too. All the females whining about 'omg he doesnt want to communicate! He doesnt care about my feelings!' (Loose interpretation) you are the females that probably need to stfu sometimes. I guarentee if you fuck him good, feed him good, fuck him again and then relax and dont go running off at the mouth... Hes happy as a clam. He aint going anywhere! True story.
It doesnt mean sit there and be in obedient silence. It just means be quiet sometimes
lol I can tell by some of the responses & how some are dragging this out or making this post out to be what it's not that THEY are probably the main ones who the "Shut the F up" rule applies to in their own relationships!
Women always think someone is out to get them or silence them! lol So their reaction is to attack attack attack, defend defend defend & take 1 thing (vs. the whole big picture) and run with it! The very thing I think men are mostly complaining about lol
I find it funny & down right interesting that women complain about the things men complain about towards them lmao
The irony
I think you're taking some of the responses a bit too personally. I want to hear what men think too. But, I don't think men obsess about this topic as much as women. Put men only in the title next time and you may get more male responses.click to expand
I agree. I didnt get that feeling either. They're just having fun is all.
Posted by PiscVirgAquaFishPosted by krysrenee7Posted by May31Baby
Chris rock is who said "feed me fuck me and shut the fuck up" and you know what, thats a good way to keep me haapy too. All the females whining about 'omg he doesnt want to communicate! He doesnt care about my feelings!' (Loose interpretation) you are the females that probably need to stfu sometimes. I guarentee if you fuck him good, feed him good, fuck him again and then relax and dont go running off at the mouth... Hes happy as a clam. He aint going anywhere! True story.
It doesnt mean sit there and be in obedient silence. It just means be quiet sometimes
lol I can tell by some of the responses & how some are dragging this out or making this post out to be what it's not that THEY are probably the main ones who the "Shut the F up" rule applies to in their own relationships!
Women always think someone is out to get them or silence them! lol So their reaction is to attack attack attack, defend defend defend & take 1 thing (vs. the whole big picture) and run with it! The very thing I think men are mostly complaining about lol
I find it funny & down right interesting that women complain about the things men complain about towards them lmao
The irony
I think you're taking some of the responses a bit too personally. I want to hear what men think too. But, I don't think men obsess about this topic as much as women. Put men only in the title next time and you may get more male responses.click to expand
So posting ONE thread about what men want is "Obsessive?" lol
Never said men obsessed about this topic or anything lol But surely men have love, women & dating woes on their mind as much as women do. Women aren't the only ones who have needs, feel misunderstood or like having dialogue about those very 2 things lol
And saying I wanted men to answer to this post in the 1st paragraph of this post wasn't specific enough simply b/c I didn't write "men only" in the title? lol
I'm amazed at the number of people responding "Well that's not ALL men want" as if I didn't CLEARLY state from the very beginning that clearly men want more but that this was just a shorter version of that!
READ PEOPLE! I shut that argument down from the beginning for a reason! I knew people would get side-tracked & take more out of it than is there
Like I said, hey, sometimes you've gotta sum things up.
People make lists all the time. I'm sure if anybody made their own "list" that others could easily come behind them & say, "Well you forgot 50 other things too." But why do that & miss the whole point of the post? lol
READ PEOPLE! I shut that argument down from the beginning for a reason! I knew people would get side-tracked & take more out of it than is there
Like I said, hey, sometimes you've gotta sum things up.
People make lists all the time. I'm sure if anybody made their own "list" that others could easily come behind them & say, "Well you forgot 50 other things too." But why do that & miss the whole point of the post? lol
Posted by natural25
I thought people were just listing things that keep a man happy in relationships. Not to negate or dismiss the needs and desires of a woman...just offering an opinion on what men might want.
Acknowledging what makes one happy does not take away the importance of the others' desires and needs....
You thought wrong.
The question asked is how to keep a man.
it's not asking what he likes, or what makes him happy ... it asked how to keep him, as in territory
Posted by LovesickCancerPosted by PiscVirgAquaFish
Why aren't there any "How to keep a woman" guides.
Because men don't spend time over thinking about it and it's not bombarded to them in magazines and programmes aimed at them.click to expand
Which is exactly why women shouldn't either. Here is a thread, and there are thousands of them all wanting to know the same thing - how to keep him.
And what utter bullshit.
Posted by P-AngelPosted by LovesickCancerPosted by PiscVirgAquaFish
Why aren't there any "How to keep a woman" guides.
Because men don't spend time over thinking about it and it's not bombarded to them in magazines and programmes aimed at them.
Which is exactly why women shouldn't either. Here is a thread, and there are thousands of them all wanting to know the same thing - how to keep him.
And what utter bullshit.click to expand
You say this as if all the topics you've ever posted or discussed haven't ALSO been discussed thousands of times as well lol
If me talking about something that may have been talked about 1,000 times makes it utter "bullbutter" wouldn't that make all of your posts/opinions "bull butter" too?
I find it quite ironic that people like you who always have something negative to say about someone's post & the things they choose to talk about (as allowed by this website & 50 million others), that you always somehow find your way to these "bull butter" threads
I guess "bull butter" is your "thing" P-Angel. Congratulations!.......idiot
Posted by cowpuncherPosted by alohamora
I can only share a few things based on observation with the way my dad interacts with my mom.
He likes his own quiet space area where he can work on his own things. He likes taking things apart and fixing it after. They would be in the living room doing their own things.
Even though my mom makes more financially, she gives my dad the respect that a man would want from his woman. I find that they share EQUAL power in the house.
My mom doesn't rant on if ever they argue. She just lets my dad cool off.
He's a taurus and she's a scorpio. Very compatible, according to cafeastro compatibility.
Some of us guys need some solitude and time to tinker in order to stay happy and sane.click to expand
Very very true.
Also, you can't make a man love you or want to keep you, and basically you cannot make him stay if he dont want you. You can't keep a man, no matter what so many articles say. If he don't want you, he don't want you.
/slashes wrists../
j/k. Anyway, it's true, you can't.
Posted by krysrenee7
They say men are simple and that the best & most simple way to keep a man is to F him, Feed him & shut the F up!
(Assume the guy is actually a good man who is right for you----this doesn't apply to the guys who cheat, are abusive, non-committal or abusive, etc. Of course it'll take an arm & a leg to keep someone who never truly loved/respected you to begin with! I'm talking about the genuinely good guys out there who truly love and respect the woman they are with/dating.
Guys, do you agree with this?!
And for those of you who are going to write a book saying that it takes more to keep a man, well duh, I'm just saying that sometimes you've gotta sum things up & keep it short, sweet & to the point lol
wow so I guess as women thats all we have to offer.....thats sad and i do not agree
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Posted by krysrenee7Posted by P-AngelPosted by LovesickCancerPosted by PiscVirgAquaFish
Why aren't there any "How to keep a woman" guides.
Because men don't spend time over thinking about it and it's not bombarded to them in magazines and programmes aimed at them.
Which is exactly why women shouldn't either. Here is a thread, and there are thousands of them all wanting to know the same thing - how to keep him.
And what utter bullshit.
You say this as if all the topics you've ever posted or discussed haven't ALSO been discussed thousands of times as well lol
If me talking about something that may have been talked about 1,000 times makes it utter "bullbutter" wouldn't that make all of your posts/opinions "bull butter" too?
I find it quite ironic that people like you who always have something negative to say about someone's post & the things they choose to talk about (as allowed by this website & 50 million others), that you always somehow find your way to these "bull butter" threads
I guess "bull butter" is your "thing" P-Angel. Congratulations!.......idiotclick to expand
jesus fucking Christ ... stop being a moron .... the utter bullshit I was referring to was that women should HAVE to work at keeping a man ... not about your thread selection.
You haven't changed krys ... you're still a douchebag
Posted by schneaky
How to keep a man? Be a good woman worth staying with!
Bingo ..... what utter bullshit that women think women have to work maneuvers to get & keep a man.
Oh P-angel, hush
I said this 5 years ago that I thought it was odd that you consider me to be all these bad things. Now I'm a "douchebag" yet you always seem to find your way to this douchebag's threads!!
Seems like you have too much time on your hands if you take out the time to insult anything that you see/touch. If that's your M-O in life, I can only imagine how dreadful it is for the people who deal with you in person. Ugh
Instead of worrying about what I post & what I say, focus on YOU & the reason you seem to flock to "bullbutter." Sounds like you've got a lot of work to do honey! Get to it!!
I said this 5 years ago that I thought it was odd that you consider me to be all these bad things. Now I'm a "douchebag" yet you always seem to find your way to this douchebag's threads!!
Seems like you have too much time on your hands if you take out the time to insult anything that you see/touch. If that's your M-O in life, I can only imagine how dreadful it is for the people who deal with you in person. Ugh
Instead of worrying about what I post & what I say, focus on YOU & the reason you seem to flock to "bullbutter." Sounds like you've got a lot of work to do honey! Get to it!!
Some of you seem like you're living in another world
You really think that all you have to do is simply show up & that you won't have to do any work, fulfill any needs or understand to an extent how men think, in order to get and keep a man
When women list 500 page-long lists of what they want in a man, do you see guys whining & saying, "Wow, I guess honesty & looks is all we guys have to offer?" NO!
It's highly hypocritical that women want all this understanding, have all these long lists of what they want in a man, what they want him to do & what they expect, yet they're quick to call men shallow or get offended when a man pulls out his very OWN list.
There's NO such thing as "People oughta be happy if you just show up."
No, relationships are WORK! People expect for you to prove to them why you, out of the other 7 billion people on earth, should have the privilege of being with them. And simply showing up & sitting on a high horse aint gonna cut it!
And the women who think that way all have 1 thing in common: They're always single or when they do get into a relationship, it ends very quickly & very bad
I get that some standards are unfair but it is what it is. There's something called "reality" & arguing with it all the time won't change it! You'll just end up left out while everybody else accepts it & has the time of their life simply b/c they learned how to stop fighting something they can't control!
Seriously, it's 2013! There is nothing wrong with saying, "You're dam right, you better bring something to the table or else there is no incentive to be with you!"
Relationships aren't just about you & your wants, your expectations, etc. It's about BOTH people. It's about what THEY want, expect & feel they deserve too!!
If a woman doesn't want to be judged for feeling like she deserves a man who buys her things on occasion, for example, it's just flat out dead wrong to judge a man who comes back & says, "Fine, but I feel I deserve a woman who cooks for me occasionally"
It's like people are afraid to have standards or expectations People are afraid to ask for what they want & feel they deserve! Perhaps that's why the state of relationships/marriages in this country have gone to sh*t
And that's how it should be!
You really think that all you have to do is simply show up & that you won't have to do any work, fulfill any needs or understand to an extent how men think, in order to get and keep a man
When women list 500 page-long lists of what they want in a man, do you see guys whining & saying, "Wow, I guess honesty & looks is all we guys have to offer?" NO!
It's highly hypocritical that women want all this understanding, have all these long lists of what they want in a man, what they want him to do & what they expect, yet they're quick to call men shallow or get offended when a man pulls out his very OWN list.
There's NO such thing as "People oughta be happy if you just show up."
No, relationships are WORK! People expect for you to prove to them why you, out of the other 7 billion people on earth, should have the privilege of being with them. And simply showing up & sitting on a high horse aint gonna cut it!
And the women who think that way all have 1 thing in common: They're always single or when they do get into a relationship, it ends very quickly & very bad
I get that some standards are unfair but it is what it is. There's something called "reality" & arguing with it all the time won't change it! You'll just end up left out while everybody else accepts it & has the time of their life simply b/c they learned how to stop fighting something they can't control!
Seriously, it's 2013! There is nothing wrong with saying, "You're dam right, you better bring something to the table or else there is no incentive to be with you!"
Relationships aren't just about you & your wants, your expectations, etc. It's about BOTH people. It's about what THEY want, expect & feel they deserve too!!
If a woman doesn't want to be judged for feeling like she deserves a man who buys her things on occasion, for example, it's just flat out dead wrong to judge a man who comes back & says, "Fine, but I feel I deserve a woman who cooks for me occasionally"
It's like people are afraid to have standards or expectations People are afraid to ask for what they want & feel they deserve! Perhaps that's why the state of relationships/marriages in this country have gone to sh*t
And that's how it should be!
Women say all the time that they want a man who is stable or has a job
Isn't it annoying when a man hears that & comes back with, "Is that ALL you want from me? You must be a gold-digger."
Clearly that wasn't what the woman was trying to say. She was just listing maybe 1 or 2 of the things that are the MOST important to her, but that doesn't mean that it's ALL she wants.
I think it works the same for men.
If everyone literally listed all of the things they want in a partner, some of yall would have lists that are 500 pages long. So what do you do when someone asks you what you want? You SHORTEN that list & think about what stands out to you the most.
And you just hope & pray that others are intelligent enough to not mistake that small list to mean that it's all you want. What's so wrong with that??
If a man/woman wants something in particular that you may not feel is important or something that you may not have to give yourself, cool, but don't ridicule the person for what they want b/c chances are, there are actually plenty of people who also want AND can offer that very thing
Isn't it annoying when a man hears that & comes back with, "Is that ALL you want from me? You must be a gold-digger."
Clearly that wasn't what the woman was trying to say. She was just listing maybe 1 or 2 of the things that are the MOST important to her, but that doesn't mean that it's ALL she wants.
I think it works the same for men.
If everyone literally listed all of the things they want in a partner, some of yall would have lists that are 500 pages long. So what do you do when someone asks you what you want? You SHORTEN that list & think about what stands out to you the most.
And you just hope & pray that others are intelligent enough to not mistake that small list to mean that it's all you want. What's so wrong with that??
If a man/woman wants something in particular that you may not feel is important or something that you may not have to give yourself, cool, but don't ridicule the person for what they want b/c chances are, there are actually plenty of people who also want AND can offer that very thing
@Krys: I agree with what you and Sschneaky say...keeping us is simple. I will point out the sliver of input by men on this thread. It's obvious why. On threads like these, the ladies demonstrate the behavior(s) that keep them from getting and keeping a good man. One, telling us what out thoughts/feelings are instead of actually listening to us...corrective behavior. Why would I want to be with you if you're going to discount what I have to say from the get go? If you constantly act like my mother or my superior...you get ignored. Second, making the situation all about you and what we can do for you or how we have to listen to you or...whatever. You! You! You! Relationships are about "us."
Dave Chappelle: "women have been getting advice from other women about men...and they don't know what the fuck they're talking about."
Sorry, its funny but true. You may understand our actions in order to manipulate us but men...mature ones anyway...want peace and a partner. Not an adversary.
Dave Chappelle: "women have been getting advice from other women about men...and they don't know what the fuck they're talking about."
Sorry, its funny but true. You may understand our actions in order to manipulate us but men...mature ones anyway...want peace and a partner. Not an adversary.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
@Krys: I agree with what you and Sschneaky say...keeping us is simple. I will point out the sliver of input by men on this thread. It's obvious why. On threads like these, the ladies demonstrate the behavior(s) that keep them from getting and keeping a good man. One, telling us what out thoughts/feelings are instead of actually listening to us...corrective behavior. Why would I want to be with you if you're going to discount what I have to say from the get go? Second, making the situation all about you and what we can do for you or how we have to listen to you or...whatever. You! You! You! Relationships are about "us."
Dave Chappelle: "women have been getting advice from other women about men...and they don't know what the fuck they're talking about."
Omg I could hug you right now!!!
Women love arguing with anything that is different. Just b/c it's different or not what you need/want doesn't make it wrong.
If you're constantly arguing with the reality of what men really want, it's no wonder those who keep "arguing with reality" are the ones who end up single & divorced. Not only that, but they're walking around confused & wondering why they can't seem to keep a man
Even if 2 people love & respect each other, that isn't the only thing that will keep a relationship standing. Both people's needs have to be met!
That's why some people who truly love & respect one another may not necessarily work romantically long-term. Incompatibility in the "needs department" doesn't mean 2 people don't love/respect each other. It just means that somebody is either dismissing their partner's needs, not meeting them or isn't giving b/c they're being asked to give something they don't have to give
Love, in itself, is NOT enough to make a relationship stand. There are several other factors that go into why/how relationships work & those who are in denial of that fact usually end up in NO relationship OR a miserable one
Just b/c reality sucks sometimes doesn't make it any less reality. The truth is the truth whether you decide to ignore/deny it or not.
YOUR denial doesn't change reality
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