cancer guys

do any of you lovely sag ladies have any experience with cancer guys?

i fell for one and it's been one of the most confusing experiences of my life!

we met back in april but we live in different cities.
still...we ended up talking every day and it was clear that we were both into each other BUT...he insisted that he didn't think long distance would work (which made me feel a little hurt because i am super idealistic and think anything is possible if it's the right person)

i visited him a couple of times and he visited me as well...

things got deep...we said we loved each other...but, i think my need to have some sort of answer about what exactly was going on and my feeling really vulnerable made me feel super insecure and i started to doubt him a lot and start a lot of conflict (which was more me asking him questions about what was going on but, when he wouldn't answer, i'd get really angry).

so then after the last time we spent together (we had almost 2 weeks together), he said he was scared off and needed space.

i kinda freaked out because i didn't know how he could go from talking to me everyday and being so attentive to basically totally disappearing...(and i've had an abusive relationship in the past and lots of guys that just disappeared so i guess i was reacting to that as well)

and since then, things have been really negative...he won't talk to me. when he does, it's really short answers. he says he misses me but, only in really weird backhanded almost insulting ways (like..i miss you but you hurt me and i'm trying to let you go etc). and he is upset that i don't trust him and feels like i am always doubting him and don't remember the good things he says...

he has gone away for work for a bit...so i am just not going to contact him and see if he contacts me when he gets back in october..

i really invested a lot of feelings in this and feel it's a communication issue (he pulls away from conflict and wants time alone to get over things and then to be able to come back really slowly. i like to address conflict directly, try to come to an understanding and then make up and be loving again).

i'm a confusing mix too...sag with a pisces moon and a scorpio rising

any insight would be really helpful...i do love him and he is a genuinely good guy. doesn't play around..hasn't been with very many girls and is slow to open his heart...

i guess i just feel confused because i fell for him so hard and i want to fight for it but, he seems okay to walk away but then when i ask him if he wants to walk away he gets mad at me for being impatient and says that he never wanted me out of

also...probably the deepest connection i've ever had with anyone and crazy passion etc...
and when we first met...communication came really easily and naturally, so i have no idea how it all exploded so fast

ive never been with a cancer...this is interesting.

it's helpful to know i'm not the only one that finds this confusing

he is hurt because he takes my worrying about things and doubting things personally (instead of realizing that because of my past and because other guys are douchebags, if someone disappears, i am going to wonder what's up). so he feels like i am calling him a liar and an ass but, really...i just want him to be honest about what is going on. and he only ever ends up telling me how he feels when he is really angry....he says that he is mad that i don't understand that he is upset on the surface but that his heart is still in the right place (i am not used to someone being mad for 2 months over something that i feel should be resolved in one day)

to be fair, i do have a tendency to worry about the worse case scenario and i kinda need to have everything out in the open and direct or else i end up driving myself crazy

he knows how i feel and whenever i try to talk to him, he seems to retreat more into his shell.

right now i am just going to leave it be and see if he gets in touch when he gets back....

it upsets me that he questions if i love and care about him...but he says that he can't understand how i can love him and still treat him how i do

his last relationship, he had NO conflict...so i don't think he knows how to actually get past things or deal with them when there is conflict

I dealt w/a cancer & his mood swings. He wz a lot younger & hd a lot of haters around him. I really cared for him & he nearly drove me bananas.

I read somewhere before w/cancers you kind of have to stay put. Don't move toward them & don't move away from them. Also that they are just like the crab, always going sideways.

Like beccy said watch them around an Aries. They are like servants to them becuz of the confidence thing.

thanks for the input....
that actually helps a lot
i definitely have gone between moving close and pulling away. just because i want a resolution one way or the other...and he feels i am pushing him

i haven't tried just staying put...i will see what happens when i do

i don't know if he has any aries in his life...but i know that i'm not super confident in my dealings with him and i always tell him what i'm feeling (good or bad).

i know the last time he texted he mentioned that he wanted me to stop freaking out and being disappointed and stop worrying and being suspicious and just be myself (to which i replied, it's easier said than done given what's happened and he was like...what happened? you mistreated me and i am angry but i am forgiving and i will get over it).

i have to remind myself of the going sideways thing too..

it always bothered me that he never stated anything directly and always spoke in riddles...i questioned his sincerity but, i just think he doesn't like to say things in the blunt way that i do...

if it helps:

me:
rising scorpio
sun sagittarius
moon pisces
mercury scorpio
venus sagittarius
mars virgo
jupiter virgo
saturn virgo
uranus scorpio
neptune sagittarius
pluto libra

him:
rising sagittarius
sun cancer
moon aquarius
mercury leo
venus leo
mars scorpio
jupiter capricorn
saturn scorpio
uranus sagittarius
neptune sagittarius
pluto libra

I can only remember the feelings I had when I was in a relationship with a Cancer guy..
Sweet.
Frustration.
Lovesick.
Anxiety.

His mood was always the opposite of mine, impossible relationship

Only as friends

Posted by Maddy
Leave him alone, and yeah cancers like a strong woman who is independant and confident and who will not put up with their shit. I've been with a cancer for 3 years now, I'm moving in with him in a week. It was hard in the beginning, hot/cold, push/pull, unpredictable at times. He would disappear for days, and then come back like nothing happened. They don't open up easily, they need to feel secure and they will test you to make sure you will stay with them no matter what.

I'm a gem and I'm very straight forward with him, when he disppeared I did too, I would ignore his text, his phone calls and he would end up at my house. So basically don't contact him firt, let him to the do work, the more you push the more he will shell. Don't let him see yo sweat over him, get busy, life your life like you always did. Don't take shit from him and trust me he will respect you for it. Just be honest. If his behavior bothers you let him cuz if you don't he's going to think it's acceptable to do it.

Learned the hard way.

Good luck

thank you so much.
i can definitely relate to the inconsistency...and he has pretty much said that he is testing me...

i do find that when i get frustrated and tell him off, he usually comes back nicer than if i'm upset and hurt and asking for reassurance.

i am going to try and do what you suggest....but, i honestly don't know how long i can handle this if he doesn't realize that i am sincere in my feelings

Posted by Maddy
Just ignore him and he will be back before you know it. They operate different, they are slow and they will do things on their own terms now matter how much you push. Be patient that's all I got to say, I can't believe I said that, lol. It drove me insane when he ignored me, but in the end it worked for me, and it was worth the effort. Once they get close to you, it's different.

PM me if you need anything, not that I'm an expert but dealing with a crab for some time now.

Hang in there, you're going to be ok.

thank you soooooo much
i definitely will be PM'ing you with some more concrete examples

he definitely has mentioned to me on multiple occasions that he wished i would be more patient

i can sense it would be worth it. he's a pretty special person...also, i know that i could stand to be more patient but, it's SO against my nature so i have to work really hard at it.

update! he went overseas for work and i didn't think i'd hear from him. but, it was a big deal for him so i had mailed him a card wishing him luck.

he left on wednesday and he just messaged me today because he had a really good day and wanted to see how i was doing. we spoke briefly and i told him i didn't expect to hear from him and he said, "i miss not fighting with you. what can i say?"

i am happy that we had a good conversation and it seems like we are in a good place again.

it seems like he just needed his own time to get over what he was mad about and for me to give him the space to come to me.

Meh, cancers are good as friends, but I don't find they fit well with sags.

Cancers guard their hearts, we wear our hearts on our sleeves. Cancers show intense emotions. We hide our emotions or appear to have very light emotions.

An interesting couple they'd make. I just never felt any chemistry toward a cancer

I could share with you how to get them to follow you like a puppy dog tho...just don't give in to them and don't show you're that interested. Be nice and just treat em like a friend. I've had a lot of cancers come to me that way and beg for something more. Poor things :/

Posted by Maddy


I could share with you how to get them to follow you like a puppy dog tho...just don't give in to them and don't show you're that interested. Be nice and just treat em like a friend. I've had a lot of cancers come to me that way and beg for something more. Poor things :/

This is true for any man not just crabs. You don't give them attention they chase you, soon as you give in you're the one doing the chasing.



Yup! I guess it works easily for me with crabs cus I don't care to date them either way.

Love the profile pic btw Maddy

Posted by Maddy
Just when you think they forgot about you they pop back in your life.

haha...it's not even that. he had only been gone 2 days and already contacted me.
so it was nice that he wanted to talk so soon despite being busy and away for work...

Posted by Maddy
I went to Europe this summer to visit my family for the whole month of July, and when I came back I didn't feel so good, I was sad that I left my family there and I just wanted to be alone I wasn't making much time for my crabby. He was chasing me like crazy, he was blowing up my phone. A month after he asked me to move in with him.

Got me a good crab 😉

Haha as my libra friend would say "And that's how ya do it!" 😉

@maddy: love that he stepped up and asked you to move in

i got one initial message from you and i responded. did you get mine?

Is Milo a cancer? Cus I could totally hit that 😉 There are some good looking cancers out there, I will admit

my cancer guy is beautiful...

Posted by littlearcher
my cancer guy is beautiful...

Oh yes. I don't doubt their beauty. Both the girls and guys are quite the lookers. One of my best lays was an intelligent and very good looking cancer. Just no intimate chemistry there tho :/ A shame really.

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by littlearcher
my cancer guy is beautiful...

Oh yes. I don't doubt their beauty. Both the girls and guys are quite the lookers. One of my best lays was an intelligent and very good looking cancer. Just no intimate chemistry there tho :/ A shame really.

click to expand

for me, it's the best chemistry i've ever experienced!
but, it must be something else in our charts because i don't think that is how it is necessarily supposed to be between a sag and a cancer.

Posted by littlearcher

Posted by happykitsune

Posted by littlearcher
my cancer guy is beautiful...

Oh yes. I don't doubt their beauty. Both the girls and guys are quite the lookers. One of my best lays was an intelligent and very good looking cancer. Just no intimate chemistry there tho :/ A shame really.

for me, it's the best chemistry i've ever experienced!
but, it must be something else in our charts because i don't think that is how it is necessarily supposed to be between a sag and a cancer.

click to expand

I think you're right. Though you'd think since my chart has mostly water and earth I'd be perfect for a cancer.

What does your chart look like?

i don't know very much about interpretation here is my chart:

Sun 5 deg 36 min Sagittarius
Moon 26 deg 11 min Pisces
Mercury 19 deg 46 min Scorpio
Venus 29 deg 49 min Sagittarius
Mars 3 deg 42 min Virgo
Jupiter 9 deg 00 min Virgo
Saturn 25 deg 38 min Virgo
Uranus 22 deg 11 min Scorpio
Neptune 19 deg 40 min Sagittarius
Pluto 20 deg 50 min Libra
Asc. 0 deg 11 min Scorpio
MC 9 deg 39 min Leo

below is his chart:

Sun 22 deg 36 min Cancer
Moon 13 deg 38 min Aquarius
Mercury 14 deg 04 min Leo
Venus 0 deg 35 min Leo
Mars 15 deg 38 min Scorpio
Jupiter 6 deg 10 min Capricorn
Saturn 9 deg 42 min Scorpio
Uranus 10 deg 01 min Sagittarius
Neptune 29 deg 26 min Sagittarius
Pluto 29 deg 19 min Libra
Asc. 24 deg 36 min Sagittarius
MC 20 deg 56 min Libra

Ah, lots of virgo. That explains it

having virgo in my chart makes me more compatible with a cancer?

Posted by littlearcher
if it helps:

me:
rising scorpio
sun sagittarius
moon pisces
mercury scorpio
venus sagittarius
mars virgo
jupiter virgo
saturn virgo
uranus scorpio
neptune sagittarius
pluto libra

Your chart is almost identical to my sagg guy that's crazy....... just saying
You guys have the same sun, moon, mer, venus and I am almost certain his rising is in scorp.....
I might have to pick your brain Lol

scorpdiva: pm me if you want. i'm happy to help 🙂

Posted by littlearcher
scorpdiva: pm me if you want. i'm happy to help 🙂

I will thanks 🙂