how does scorpio man emotionally cheat?
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by clarra on Saturday, January 20, 2024 and has 42 replies.
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
Posted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
Delicious
You have at least three options.
1) Contact her with some proof. Tell her that your husband is spending the days stalking her instead of connecting with his child. Ask her to block him on every social media, without confronting him. If she agrees, it may solve the problem...out of sight, out of mind. Like any addict, he will go through an withdrawal phase, so prepare for his antics during that time. If she doesn't agree, she's a accomplice, playing a dangerous game. Get someone else to talk to her directly.
2) Alternatively, keep vigil and tolerate it, hoping that it stays harmless and that she will eventually be posting her husband's and baby photos.
3) Talk to him. You know him better than us, so I won't advice you how to do it. I have doubts it will work. Father dumped his side piece and promised to be faithful. The history kept repeating many times with other women. He was quite bad at covering his tracks, or my mother was too good at uncovering them. She was on high alert the whole time.
1) Contact her with some proof. Tell her that your husband is spending the days stalking her instead of connecting with his child. Ask her to block him on every social media, without confronting him. If she agrees, it may solve the problem...out of sight, out of mind. Like any addict, he will go through an withdrawal phase, so prepare for his antics during that time. If she doesn't agree, she's a accomplice, playing a dangerous game. Get someone else to talk to her directly.
2) Alternatively, keep vigil and tolerate it, hoping that it stays harmless and that she will eventually be posting her husband's and baby photos.
3) Talk to him. You know him better than us, so I won't advice you how to do it. I have doubts it will work. Father dumped his side piece and promised to be faithful. The history kept repeating many times with other women. He was quite bad at covering his tracks, or my mother was too good at uncovering them. She was on high alert the whole time.
Posted by BadderBunnyCheating takes two people indeed, but they are the cheater and the cheated on! What he does is a classical example of (emotional) cheating.
He isn't emotionally cheating, he's obsessing. Cheating takes two people and this woman appears to be living her life and unbothered as fuck. I wish I had some good advice for you, but sounds like divorce isnt an option. You knew before having a child there was someone else he was in love with, children don't fix marriages. Hopefully the other woman will get married and he will move on. Until then, I guess you will have to learn to compartmentalize your feelings and treat this marriage like the business arrangement it is.
Dude is beyond messed up, are you still attracted to him? Does him being such an obsessed simp not turn you off?
Were you ever attracted to him at all, did you just hope that being together would work out and eventually you'd fall for each other?
Were you ever attracted to him at all, did you just hope that being together would work out and eventually you'd fall for each other?
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
These days most modern arranged marriages actually allow both a period of time getting to know each other or courtship. It’s rare to not get to know the other prior to the wedding to figure out if there’s a troubling past or serious character flaws, etc because your exact situation is so common. There are also many times people get blinded by the other family’s wealth/social status or something superficial to not do the best due diligence on the other person. Did you not get to know him prior to the wedding? Did your family/relatives not know much about him through grapevine?
I remember I had a friend’s sister who had an arranged marriage with a guy who was a distant relative of theirs who ended up lying about his age, education and occupation because none of their relatives actually cared to verify anything (they’re all now completely cut off from their lives in hindsight). He just looked tall and handsome? He ended up smooching off her family. The whole ordeal traumatized the other sisters and relatives. Everyone has these cautionary tales in arranged marriage communities one way or another for it to not repeat often. It’s also actually common for players/cheaters agreeing to marry someone from back in their countries (especially for second marriages) because they’re often blindly allured by western citizenships. Once they come here they reap what a shit person they are or divorce them after getting a citizenship and bring their own lover over from back home. These tales are as old as time. Honestly not much room for naivety these days.
I remember I had a friend’s sister who had an arranged marriage with a guy who was a distant relative of theirs who ended up lying about his age, education and occupation because none of their relatives actually cared to verify anything (they’re all now completely cut off from their lives in hindsight). He just looked tall and handsome? He ended up smooching off her family. The whole ordeal traumatized the other sisters and relatives. Everyone has these cautionary tales in arranged marriage communities one way or another for it to not repeat often. It’s also actually common for players/cheaters agreeing to marry someone from back in their countries (especially for second marriages) because they’re often blindly allured by western citizenships. Once they come here they reap what a shit person they are or divorce them after getting a citizenship and bring their own lover over from back home. These tales are as old as time. Honestly not much room for naivety these days.
Posted by MyStarsShineThat's the problem with arranged marriages. People who married not because they want each other but more because their backgrounds are compatible.
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
Posted by Walk_on_byArranged marriage tho. She may not have had a choice.
Dude is beyond messed up, are you still attracted to him? Does him being such an obsessed simp not turn you off?
Were you ever attracted to him at all, did you just hope that being together would work out and eventually you'd fall for each other?
Posted by Undine
You have at least three options.
1) Contact her with some proof. Tell her that your husband is spending the days stalking her instead of connecting with his child. Ask her to block him on every social media, without confronting him. If she agrees, it may solve the problem...out of sight, out of mind. Like any addict, he will go through an withdrawal phase, so prepare for his antics during that time. If she doesn't agree, she's a accomplice, playing a dangerous game. Get someone else to talk to her directly.
2) Alternatively, keep vigil and tolerate it, hoping that it stays harmless and that she will eventually be posting her husband's and baby photos.
3) Talk to him. You know him better than us, so I won't advice you how to do it. I have doubts it will work. Father dumped his side piece and promised to be faithful. The history kept repeating many times with other women. He was quite bad at covering his tracks, or my mother was too good at uncovering them. She was on high alert the whole time.
I don't think talking to her is a wise choice. If she blocks him then he'll find other ways to stalk her. From what I know she left him when he ditched her to marry me. He told me that her last message was that she forgave him and then she ended communication. At least for now it's one sided. What if she finds out and reciprocate. He's very manipulative and knows how to get people feel bad for him.
Posted by Walk_on_byYes I am in love with him. I can see it might make me look pathetic. He's the father of my child. I entered into this relationship to spend my life with him and leaving is not an option for me.
Dude is beyond messed up, are you still attracted to him? Does him being such an obsessed simp not turn you off?
Were you ever attracted to him at all, did you just hope that being together would work out and eventually you'd fall for each other?
Posted by BadderBunnyYes to all you sayPosted by MyStarsShine
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
It feels like one of those Princess Diana and Prince Charles situations (he's also ironically a scorpio), where the guy was forced to marry someone his family found proper despite him already being in love with someone else. Its very unfair to the OP, as some women don't have much say when it comes to these arranged marriages. Her family has essentially signed her up to be in a loveless marriage, and if she's from a culture where divorce is out of the question, its for life. She is making an effort to love him, but he isn't interested in moving on from his ex and is being quite disrespectful about it in my opinion.click to expand
Very selfish of parents to put their kids through this …. Kind of egotistical
Posted by poppyflowerTerrible ideaPosted by MyStarsShine
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
That's the problem with arranged marriages. People who married not because they want each other but more because their backgrounds are compatible.click to expand
Such an outdated concept
Posted by SassyKiwi
These days most modern arranged marriages actually allow both a period of time getting to know each other or courtship. It’s rare to not get to know the other prior to the wedding to figure out if there’s a troubling past or serious character flaws, etc because your exact situation is so common. There are also many times people get blinded by the other family’s wealth/social status or something superficial to not do the best due diligence on the other person. Did you not get to know him prior to the wedding? Did your family/relatives not know much about him through grapevine?
I remember I had a friend’s sister who had an arranged marriage with a guy who was a distant relative of theirs who ended up lying about his age, education and occupation because none of their relatives actually cared to verify anything (they’re all now completely cut off from their lives in hindsight). He just looked tall and handsome? He ended up smooching off her family. The whole ordeal traumatized the other sisters and relatives. Everyone has these cautionary tales in arranged marriage communities one way or another for it to not repeat often. It’s also actually common for players/cheaters agreeing to marry someone from back in their countries (especially for second marriages) because they’re often blindly allured by western citizenships. Once they come here they reap what a shit person they are or divorce them after getting a citizenship and bring their own lover over from back home. These tales are as old as time. Honestly not much room for naivety these days.
I didn't know before marriage. We didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other but he was quite nice. He pretended to be happy with it. I found out later. It seems to me now that he was in denial all this time. He cares a lot about putting a happy couple image in front of the world when the reality is opposite. When we are with people he completely switches his personality. Our backgrounds are similar but he thinks we’re very incompatible.
Posted by Undine
You have at least three options.
1) Contact her with some proof. Tell her that your husband is spending the days stalking her instead of connecting with his child. Ask her to block him on every social media, without confronting him. If she agrees, it may solve the problem...out of sight, out of mind. Like any addict, he will go through an withdrawal phase, so prepare for his antics during that time. If she doesn't agree, she's a accomplice, playing a dangerous game. Get someone else to talk to her directly.
2) Alternatively, keep vigil and tolerate it, hoping that it stays harmless and that she will eventually be posting her husband's and baby photos.
3) Talk to him. You know him better than us, so I won't advice you how to do it. I have doubts it will work. Father dumped his side piece and promised to be faithful. The history kept repeating many times with other women. He was quite bad at covering his tracks, or my mother was too good at uncovering them. She was on high alert the whole time.
He have so many women in his life, friends and colleagues, but he doesn't flirt with them or stalk them. He doesn’t care about them. I have watched him and been on alert to see if he have a habit of cheating but it’s just her. It’s been her for years. I heard scorpio men move on if the woman doesn't show interest. I want him to move on. Why is he not moving on?
Posted by clarraHello Clarra. What is your ethnicity? If you don't mind me asking.
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
Posted by BadderBunnyPosted by MyStarsShine
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
It feels like one of those Princess Diana and Prince Charles situations (he's also ironically a scorpio), where the guy was forced to marry someone his family found proper despite him already being in love with someone else. Its very unfair to the OP, as some women don't have much say when it comes to these arranged marriages. Her family has essentially signed her up to be in a loveless marriage, and if she's from a culture where divorce is out of the question, its for life. She is making an effort to love him, but he isn't interested in moving on from his ex and is being quite disrespectful about it in my opinion.click to expand
Yes it's very similar. The difference is that he's turning into Joe from You. It hurts to see him hurting for her. All this obsessive behavior is unhealthy and I don't know where it will lead him. He's sacrificing his sleep to stalk her socials at night when he has a very demanding job. It's affecting his health. He chose to leave her and marry me then i don't understand why he can't move on?
Posted by BadderBunnyPosted by clarraPosted by BadderBunnyPosted by MyStarsShine
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
It feels like one of those Princess Diana and Prince Charles situations (he's also ironically a scorpio), where the guy was forced to marry someone his family found proper despite him already being in love with someone else. Its very unfair to the OP, as some women don't have much say when it comes to these arranged marriages. Her family has essentially signed her up to be in a loveless marriage, and if she's from a culture where divorce is out of the question, its for life. She is making an effort to love him, but he isn't interested in moving on from his ex and is being quite disrespectful about it in my opinion.
Yes it's very similar. The difference is that he's turning into Joe from You. It hurts to see him hurting for her. All this obsessive behavior is unhealthy and I don't know where it will lead him. He's sacrificing his sleep to stalk her socials at night when he has a very demanding job. It's affecting his health. He chose to leave her and marry me then i don't understand why he can't move on?
click to expand
Sounds like it wasn't fully his choice. His hand was forced a little. Did you know he was obsessed with her when you agreed to marriage?click to expand
No I had no idea. I found out later. His behavior was odd in the beginning of our marriage. I thought he was adjusting but i got to know with in a month when i caught him stalking her.
Posted by LoverOfTheSeaEast Asian.Posted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
Hello Clarra. What is your ethnicity? If you don't mind me asking.click to expand
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Posted by Walk_on_byLOLOLOLOL
Delicious
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Posted by clarraWhat's your sign?
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
Posted by VenusAquariusI am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.Posted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.click to expand
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Posted by clarraIt's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?click to expand
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces. She says I manifested him. LOL
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
Posted by VenusAquariusIt was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.Posted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.click to expand
Posted by clarraWhy does his family have so much control over him when he’s in his 30s?Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
click to expand
It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.click to expand
What kind of love is that?
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Posted by clarraWhat you are describing is kinda normal not a thing that people fall in love for. That's love - a good dose of shallow and a good bit of caring depth that usually goes above and beyond normal expectations or actions. Why wouldn't a person be kind and caring? He supposed to be financially responsible.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.click to expand
That's the problem with not dating - seeing the norm as something extra-ordinary.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are in love. Give it a different more realistic spin in your head. You are comfortable with his basic decency.... something like that. Or, he is a good friend.... or, you are fond of him...
Don't make yourself fall in love due to his obsession either. That's another mindfuck to avoid. Detach from the situation a bit. Live your life as a single person (minus sex and dating) and use the opportunity of partnership to support your dreams, individualism, and growing your child into a wonderful human being.
The thing is... you're not in love with each other. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that. You have more capacity for delusion in this way. His delusions is in another way. You're both deluded. He knows that you are not in love with each other. He knows that you are not in love with him. Being in love with him may not change things either. But, he knows, even if you don't. See you went in with good intentions ready to fall in love. That's why you are so eager to claim that you are. But, you're not really there yet. He went in with a former lover and regrets so it's going to take him longer.
Can he obsess and fantasize his whole life, sure. But, have a little darkness about it. Turn whatever feelings you have about it into an enjoyment of him giving himself his own hell that he will inevitably deserve. This type of egotistic, self -inflicted pain may be difficult for innocent naive people to watch but I promise you that after a few years of this, your darkside will grow and grow to enjoy it. Probably to orgasmic proportions even.
You can give yourself a bit of fantasy as well... this is no different than an obsession with a movie star. Tell yourself that. And, always remember that you are not in love either. Don't force it, outpace him. Yes, you were prepared to fall in love to make this arranged marriage more palatable but, this obsession of his makes your good, open intentions detrimental.
Stop tracking his moves with her so closely if at all. You will also grow an obsession mistaken for love out of his obsession with her. It will not be love either. It will be gross envy, jealousy, or covetousness (like that of the other woman).... you'll swear it's love. But, it's not. Trust me.
Think of yourself as co-parenting with a sperm donor that you are fond of... something ultra modern.
Have a little pity for him. Could you imagine going into this thing with a former love and being forced to give him up? Dreaming of the life you could had. You had more of an advantage... No palatable pain.
So you can pity him as a peer in this you know. Maybe friendship and compassion could grow to love. Live in a partnership of two people bound together.
What a fucking nightmare! I feel for you my poor, trapped Gem sister. 😢
Posted by clarraSometimes it’s your lesson to learn self love and let go someone who doesn’t love and brings you down.Posted by SassyKiwi
These days most modern arranged marriages actually allow both a period of time getting to know each other or courtship. It’s rare to not get to know the other prior to the wedding to figure out if there’s a troubling past or serious character flaws, etc because your exact situation is so common. There are also many times people get blinded by the other family’s wealth/social status or something superficial to not do the best due diligence on the other person. Did you not get to know him prior to the wedding? Did your family/relatives not know much about him through grapevine?
I remember I had a friend’s sister who had an arranged marriage with a guy who was a distant relative of theirs who ended up lying about his age, education and occupation because none of their relatives actually cared to verify anything (they’re all now completely cut off from their lives in hindsight). He just looked tall and handsome? He ended up smooching off her family. The whole ordeal traumatized the other sisters and relatives. Everyone has these cautionary tales in arranged marriage communities one way or another for it to not repeat often. It’s also actually common for players/cheaters agreeing to marry someone from back in their countries (especially for second marriages) because they’re often blindly allured by western citizenships. Once they come here they reap what a shit person they are or divorce them after getting a citizenship and bring their own lover over from back home. These tales are as old as time. Honestly not much room for naivety these days.
I didn't know before marriage. We didn't have a lot of time to get to know each other but he was quite nice. He pretended to be happy with it. I found out later. It seems to me now that he was in denial all this time. He cares a lot about putting a happy couple image in front of the world when the reality is opposite. When we are with people he completely switches his personality. Our backgrounds are similar but he thinks we’re very incompatible.click to expand
Posted by clarraHe was probably forced to chose. Scorpios won’t move on if the deeply feel they are the one. I’ve been single because I don’t think it’s fair to someone to be put second best I’ll wait until I can feel like I did which MY One. People are selfish and will hurt others despite knowing they can’t offer what they want.Posted by BadderBunnyPosted by MyStarsShine
His parents chose you for him
He didn’t have freewill
I’m wondering whether that could work between ye?
It feels like one of those Princess Diana and Prince Charles situations (he's also ironically a scorpio), where the guy was forced to marry someone his family found proper despite him already being in love with someone else. Its very unfair to the OP, as some women don't have much say when it comes to these arranged marriages. Her family has essentially signed her up to be in a loveless marriage, and if she's from a culture where divorce is out of the question, its for life. She is making an effort to love him, but he isn't interested in moving on from his ex and is being quite disrespectful about it in my opinion.
click to expand
Yes it's very similar. The difference is that he's turning into Joe from You. It hurts to see him hurting for her. All this obsessive behavior is unhealthy and I don't know where it will lead him. He's sacrificing his sleep to stalk her socials at night when he has a very demanding job. It's affecting his health. He chose to leave her and marry me then i don't understand why he can't move on?click to expand
Posted by VenusAquariusThis is probably the best advise here.Posted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.
click to expand
What you are describing is kinda normal not a thing that people fall in love for. That's love - a good dose of shallow and a good bit of caring depth that usually goes above and beyond normal expectations or actions. Why wouldn't a person be kind and caring? He supposed to be financially responsible.
That's the problem with not dating - seeing the norm as something extra-ordinary.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are in love. Give it a different more realistic spin in your head. You are comfortable with his basic decency.... something like that. Or, he is a good friend.... or, you are fond of him...
Don't make yourself fall in love due to his obsession either. That's another mindfuck to avoid. Detach from the situation a bit. Live your life as a single person (minus sex and dating) and use the opportunity of partnership to support your dreams, individualism, and growing your child into a wonderful human being.
The thing is... you're not in love with each other. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that. You have more capacity for delusion in this way. His delusions is in another way. You're both deluded. He knows that you are not in love with each other. He knows that you are not in love with him. Being in love with him may not change things either. But, he knows, even if you don't. See you went in with good intentions ready to fall in love. That's why you are so eager to claim that you are. But, you're not really there yet. He went in with a former lover and regrets so it's going to take him longer.
Can he obsess and fantasize his whole life, sure. But, have a little darkness about it. Turn whatever feelings you have about it into an enjoyment of him giving himself his own hell that he will inevitably deserve. This type of egotistic, self -inflicted pain may be difficult for innocent naive people to watch but I promise you that after a few years of this, your darkside will grow and grow to enjoy it. Probably to orgasmic proportions even.
You can give yourself a bit of fantasy as well... this is no different than an obsession with a movie star. Tell yourself that. And, always remember that you are not in love either. Don't force it, outpace him. Yes, you were prepared to fall in love to make this arranged marriage more palatable but, this obsession of his makes your good, open intentions detrimental.
Stop tracking his moves with her so closely if at all. You will also grow an obsession mistaken for love out of his obsession with her. It will not be love either. It will be gross envy, jealousy, or covetousness (like that of the other woman).... you'll swear it's love. But, it's not. Trust me.
Think of yourself as co-parenting with a sperm donor that you are fond of... something ultra modern.
Have a little pity for him. Could you imagine going into this thing with a former love and being forced to give him up? Dreaming of the life you could had. You had more of an advantage... No palatable pain.
So you can pity him as a peer in this you know. Maybe friendship and compassion could grow to love. Live in a partnership of two people bound together.click to expand
Posted by clarraYeah it ain't changing, probably ever. Sorry.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
click to expand
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?click to expand
Posted by VenusAquariusYeah tbh I'm low-key obsessed with your daughter too from 1 photo you shared so I have to side with my Scorpio brother in arms on this one, it's her curly hair.Posted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
click to expand
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces. She says I manifested him. LOL
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.click to expand
can't see scorpios giving up their obsessions even if they're self-destructive so nothing can be done on that end.
but tbh i don't really see a way out of your situation other than to make the best of it. personally at most, i'd aim for a peaceful friendship and pretend not to see anything. no need to stress out yourself or your child.
🤷🤷
but tbh i don't really see a way out of your situation other than to make the best of it. personally at most, i'd aim for a peaceful friendship and pretend not to see anything. no need to stress out yourself or your child.
🤷🤷
Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.
click to expand
What you are describing is kinda normal not a thing that people fall in love for. That's love - a good dose of shallow and a good bit of caring depth that usually goes above and beyond normal expectations or actions. Why wouldn't a person be kind and caring? He supposed to be financially responsible.
That's the problem with not dating - seeing the norm as something extra-ordinary.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are in love. Give it a different more realistic spin in your head. You are comfortable with his basic decency.... something like that. Or, he is a good friend.... or, you are fond of him...
Don't make yourself fall in love due to his obsession either. That's another mindfuck to avoid. Detach from the situation a bit. Live your life as a single person (minus sex and dating) and use the opportunity of partnership to support your dreams, individualism, and growing your child into a wonderful human being.
The thing is... you're not in love with each other. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that. You have more capacity for delusion in this way. His delusions is in another way. You're both deluded. He knows that you are not in love with each other. He knows that you are not in love with him. Being in love with him may not change things either. But, he knows, even if you don't. See you went in with good intentions ready to fall in love. That's why you are so eager to claim that you are. But, you're not really there yet. He went in with a former lover and regrets so it's going to take him longer.
Can he obsess and fantasize his whole life, sure. But, have a little darkness about it. Turn whatever feelings you have about it into an enjoyment of him giving himself his own hell that he will inevitably deserve. This type of egotistic, self -inflicted pain may be difficult for innocent naive people to watch but I promise you that after a few years of this, your darkside will grow and grow to enjoy it. Probably to orgasmic proportions even.
You can give yourself a bit of fantasy as well... this is no different than an obsession with a movie star. Tell yourself that. And, always remember that you are not in love either. Don't force it, outpace him. Yes, you were prepared to fall in love to make this arranged marriage more palatable but, this obsession of his makes your good, open intentions detrimental.
Stop tracking his moves with her so closely if at all. You will also grow an obsession mistaken for love out of his obsession with her. It will not be love either. It will be gross envy, jealousy, or covetousness (like that of the other woman).... you'll swear it's love. But, it's not. Trust me.
Think of yourself as co-parenting with a sperm donor that you are fond of... something ultra modern.
Have a little pity for him. Could you imagine going into this thing with a former love and being forced to give him up? Dreaming of the life you could had. You had more of an advantage... No palatable pain.
So you can pity him as a peer in this you know. Maybe friendship and compassion could grow to love. Live in a partnership of two people bound together.click to expand
This was very helpful. Thank you I think this is the only way to deal with this situation. Maybe when she gets married he will get over her. Just last week we had a fight that after 6 years of marriage because his relationship status is still single online. It used to be complicated before our wedding. He refused to change it... I know I shouldn't pay attention but I can't help feel awful. I need to stop caring completely.
You're in a formal marriage, he is not interested or invested in being in a romantic relationship with you. She isn't actual a factor, he chooses that as an escape.
Having a child doesn't fix the core issue which is a loveless relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable and uninterested in thei partner.
Having a child doesn't fix the core issue which is a loveless relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable and uninterested in thei partner.
Can you get an arranged divorce?
Posted by clarraPerhaps he can only obsess about one at a time…Posted by Undine
You have at least three options.
1) Contact her with some proof. Tell her that your husband is spending the days stalking her instead of connecting with his child. Ask her to block him on every social media, without confronting him. If she agrees, it may solve the problem...out of sight, out of mind. Like any addict, he will go through an withdrawal phase, so prepare for his antics during that time. If she doesn't agree, she's a accomplice, playing a dangerous game. Get someone else to talk to her directly.
2) Alternatively, keep vigil and tolerate it, hoping that it stays harmless and that she will eventually be posting her husband's and baby photos.
3) Talk to him. You know him better than us, so I won't advice you how to do it. I have doubts it will work. Father dumped his side piece and promised to be faithful. The history kept repeating many times with other women. He was quite bad at covering his tracks, or my mother was too good at uncovering them. She was on high alert the whole time.
He have so many women in his life, friends and colleagues, but he doesn't flirt with them or stalk them. He doesn’t care about them. I have watched him and been on alert to see if he have a habit of cheating but it’s just her. It’s been her for years. I heard scorpio men move on if the woman doesn't show interest. I want him to move on. Why is he not moving on?click to expand
My mother had a real “gift” to make my father stop obsessing about a woman. She even managed to put me off some potential boyfriends she didn’t approve of! But she was a bully, able to find the weakest point in everyone and use it to the max. No language was too foul for her, no imagined scenario out of question. I can’t see you doing it.
I would not exclude talking to your husband though. In the best case, he could be already embarrassed about what he is doing and perhaps agree to reduce it or even stop it, for the sake of your marriage and his child. In the worst case, he may put the blame on you. Don’t let him shift the blame. You have the right to observe him once there are reasons to be suspicious. He has no right to cheat on his wife, emotionally or otherwise. It’s not your fault he’s a cheater.
Last but not least, I imagine a society who is built on arranged marriages would have the means to deal with situations like yours, since they would not be uncommon. Is it all acceptance? Where is the bloody honour left? Did you confide in the matriarch of your family? Do you have brothers? Surely there are people closer to you that may be willing to help. Some could talk to the ex, some could talk to your husband.
Posted by clarraNo it will not get better when she marries.Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.
click to expand
What you are describing is kinda normal not a thing that people fall in love for. That's love - a good dose of shallow and a good bit of caring depth that usually goes above and beyond normal expectations or actions. Why wouldn't a person be kind and caring? He supposed to be financially responsible.
That's the problem with not dating - seeing the norm as something extra-ordinary.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are in love. Give it a different more realistic spin in your head. You are comfortable with his basic decency.... something like that. Or, he is a good friend.... or, you are fond of him...
Don't make yourself fall in love due to his obsession either. That's another mindfuck to avoid. Detach from the situation a bit. Live your life as a single person (minus sex and dating) and use the opportunity of partnership to support your dreams, individualism, and growing your child into a wonderful human being.
The thing is... you're not in love with each other. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that. You have more capacity for delusion in this way. His delusions is in another way. You're both deluded. He knows that you are not in love with each other. He knows that you are not in love with him. Being in love with him may not change things either. But, he knows, even if you don't. See you went in with good intentions ready to fall in love. That's why you are so eager to claim that you are. But, you're not really there yet. He went in with a former lover and regrets so it's going to take him longer.
Can he obsess and fantasize his whole life, sure. But, have a little darkness about it. Turn whatever feelings you have about it into an enjoyment of him giving himself his own hell that he will inevitably deserve. This type of egotistic, self -inflicted pain may be difficult for innocent naive people to watch but I promise you that after a few years of this, your darkside will grow and grow to enjoy it. Probably to orgasmic proportions even.
You can give yourself a bit of fantasy as well... this is no different than an obsession with a movie star. Tell yourself that. And, always remember that you are not in love either. Don't force it, outpace him. Yes, you were prepared to fall in love to make this arranged marriage more palatable but, this obsession of his makes your good, open intentions detrimental.
Stop tracking his moves with her so closely if at all. You will also grow an obsession mistaken for love out of his obsession with her. It will not be love either. It will be gross envy, jealousy, or covetousness (like that of the other woman).... you'll swear it's love. But, it's not. Trust me.
Think of yourself as co-parenting with a sperm donor that you are fond of... something ultra modern.
Have a little pity for him. Could you imagine going into this thing with a former love and being forced to give him up? Dreaming of the life you could had. You had more of an advantage... No palatable pain.
So you can pity him as a peer in this you know. Maybe friendship and compassion could grow to love. Live in a partnership of two people bound together.
click to expand
This was very helpful. Thank you I think this is the only way to deal with this situation. Maybe when she gets married he will get over her. Just last week we had a fight that after 6 years of marriage because his relationship status is still single online. It used to be complicated before our wedding. He refused to change it... I know I shouldn't pay attention but I can't help feel awful. I need to stop caring completely.click to expand
Posted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces.
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
It was when I lost my dad, the same year we got married. He was there for me and was kind and caring. He helped me through that pain and I fell for him. But for him it was not love. He takes my responsibility, provides for me financially but he doesn’t love me back. He also tried to move abroad without me for work but his family stopped him.
click to expand
What you are describing is kinda normal not a thing that people fall in love for. That's love - a good dose of shallow and a good bit of caring depth that usually goes above and beyond normal expectations or actions. Why wouldn't a person be kind and caring? He supposed to be financially responsible.
That's the problem with not dating - seeing the norm as something extra-ordinary.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are in love. Give it a different more realistic spin in your head. You are comfortable with his basic decency.... something like that. Or, he is a good friend.... or, you are fond of him...
Don't make yourself fall in love due to his obsession either. That's another mindfuck to avoid. Detach from the situation a bit. Live your life as a single person (minus sex and dating) and use the opportunity of partnership to support your dreams, individualism, and growing your child into a wonderful human being.
The thing is... you're not in love with each other. No matter how much you try to tell yourself that. You have more capacity for delusion in this way. His delusions is in another way. You're both deluded. He knows that you are not in love with each other. He knows that you are not in love with him. Being in love with him may not change things either. But, he knows, even if you don't. See you went in with good intentions ready to fall in love. That's why you are so eager to claim that you are. But, you're not really there yet. He went in with a former lover and regrets so it's going to take him longer.
Can he obsess and fantasize his whole life, sure. But, have a little darkness about it. Turn whatever feelings you have about it into an enjoyment of him giving himself his own hell that he will inevitably deserve. This type of egotistic, self -inflicted pain may be difficult for innocent naive people to watch but I promise you that after a few years of this, your darkside will grow and grow to enjoy it. Probably to orgasmic proportions even.
You can give yourself a bit of fantasy as well... this is no different than an obsession with a movie star. Tell yourself that. And, always remember that you are not in love either. Don't force it, outpace him. Yes, you were prepared to fall in love to make this arranged marriage more palatable but, this obsession of his makes your good, open intentions detrimental.
Stop tracking his moves with her so closely if at all. You will also grow an obsession mistaken for love out of his obsession with her. It will not be love either. It will be gross envy, jealousy, or covetousness (like that of the other woman).... you'll swear it's love. But, it's not. Trust me.
Think of yourself as co-parenting with a sperm donor that you are fond of... something ultra modern.
Have a little pity for him. Could you imagine going into this thing with a former love and being forced to give him up? Dreaming of the life you could had. You had more of an advantage... No palatable pain.
So you can pity him as a peer in this you know. Maybe friendship and compassion could grow to love. Live in a partnership of two people bound together.
click to expand
This was very helpful. Thank you I think this is the only way to deal with this situation. Maybe when she gets married he will get over her. Just last week we had a fight that after 6 years of marriage because his relationship status is still single online. It used to be complicated before our wedding. He refused to change it... I know I shouldn't pay attention but I can't help feel awful. I need to stop caring completely.click to expand
Sadly you are both victims of circumstances.
He does carry some responsibility for following the arranged marriage while having such strong feelings for someone else.
The rest of the fault lies with both parents.
They should be informed of their oversight and told it is their responsibility to correct the situation.
There is nothing you can do. He is taking what he does have for granted. Just match his effort in the relationship. Do not give more then you are receiving. He must earn back what he has forsaken. Focus on yourself and your own happiness because it will not becoming from him.
Signed Up: Jan 27, 2012
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Comments: 4343 · Posts: 13269 · Topics: 69
Posted by Walk_on_byYou's a fool, LOL. I'mma have to tell momma that our hair is a point of obsession. My mom is black as the rock of Gibraltar with long silky curly hair and she passed it down to us (rock of Gibraltar ain't black, it just sounds good).Posted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarraPosted by VenusAquariusPosted by clarra
I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't end up marrying her. He told me he was toxic and agreed when his parents forced him to marry me. During a fight, he confessed that he regrets giving up on her. I hoped he would move on with time, but it's gotten so bad that if she posts something online, like having fun or traveling, he becomes extremely upset ruining the entire day. I hate that her account is public. We also have a child so why is he still obsessed with her? I've caught him going through her socials late at night so many times over the past six years and it never lessened. Now I feel like I'm obsessed with her and stalking her too. I hate myself, Can you imagine he downloads her public playlists from spotify and listens to the songs she listens to in the car when I am sitting right next to him? It hurts so much and he thinks I don't know it’s hers. She's on his mind too much he listens to her favorite music, eats at her regular places that she posts and even follows some of her male friends on Instagram because she’s single. I'm scared what if she finds out and reciprocate she used to like him in the past? What will he do when he has this level of obsession with her? How can I make him get over her? She appears happy so why can't he move on too? We’re not children. he is 32. He pretends to be happy but I know he is emotionally cheating.
What's your sign?
What's her sign?
When did you fall in love with him, and why?
My Pisces daughter has a Scorpio ex who is obsessed with her in the same way. I have a picture I took of him outside my house in his car beating himself in the head that I could post. I had a talk with him (as she was not home). I think he was in love with the fam too though. Poor thing.
I am a gemini sun and libra moon, her sign is cancer with cancer moon. my husband is scorpio stellium.
Did your duaghter's ex got over her? how long did it take him to move on?
click to expand
It's been three years going on four and he still calls her (anonymously, cause she won't answer but she knows its him), offers her money, begs, cries, pleads and everything. Scorpios like to offer an effortless life and he has done that too. Just like a Scorpio I dated offered me. She has tried everything to include being very mean, honest... she's mean in general... and telling him that she is not the same girl he fell in love with. She isn't. My little Pisces used to be a sweet little mouse. Now, she's an ethereal beautiful highly irritable goddess hiding a sword and asexual ta' boot.
I think it's my fault as I told her that as a Pisces, she needed to experience a Scorpio cause they are obsessed with Pisces. She says I manifested him. LOL
You didn't answer my question of when you fell in love with him, and why? You don't have to, of course. But, I need to know in order to help you.
Yeah tbh I'm low-key obsessed with your daughter too from 1 photo you shared so I have to side with my Scorpio brother in arms on this one, it's her curly hair.click to expand
This makes me really sad to read.
To be honest, I never met a Scorpio in an arranged marriage. Even though in my culture, arranged marriage is still a thing, neither my scorpio mother or scorpio aunt chose to go through with an arranged marriage (they married the loves of their lives, a Taurus and Scorpio man respectively)…and they are women who should have succumb to the culture but fought it. Now imagine as a man… I can’t even imagine that.
Being in an arranged marriage I can imagine is extremely difficult for Scorpios, because if they really love somebody, nothing such as marriage or any legally binding thing can separate them from who they love.
You may love him, but if you really love someone you’d have to be willing to do what it takes to protect their freedom and happiness, even if it means letting them go and live their own life. If you depend financially on him, if I were in your place, I’d find a means to secure my own financials (start working, maybe get help from family with kids and even financials if able), and divorce him to go and find his happiness if I’m not his whole happiness.
The 1 thing I’ve learned in this lifetime is if you aren’t enough for somebody, you just have to accept it and let them go. Can’t force somebody to love you or choose you, no matter how much you love them or have the best intent in your heart for them.
You never know, maybe he’ll try his luck and fail and will realize he lost you and come back to you. But that is not something you should ever hope for, especially given everything you’ve wrote about this tough situation.
I realize this post is almost half a year old so I hope it’s not ongoing and that it resolved by now. Hope you find your peace and happiness too.
To be honest, I never met a Scorpio in an arranged marriage. Even though in my culture, arranged marriage is still a thing, neither my scorpio mother or scorpio aunt chose to go through with an arranged marriage (they married the loves of their lives, a Taurus and Scorpio man respectively)…and they are women who should have succumb to the culture but fought it. Now imagine as a man… I can’t even imagine that.
Being in an arranged marriage I can imagine is extremely difficult for Scorpios, because if they really love somebody, nothing such as marriage or any legally binding thing can separate them from who they love.
You may love him, but if you really love someone you’d have to be willing to do what it takes to protect their freedom and happiness, even if it means letting them go and live their own life. If you depend financially on him, if I were in your place, I’d find a means to secure my own financials (start working, maybe get help from family with kids and even financials if able), and divorce him to go and find his happiness if I’m not his whole happiness.
The 1 thing I’ve learned in this lifetime is if you aren’t enough for somebody, you just have to accept it and let them go. Can’t force somebody to love you or choose you, no matter how much you love them or have the best intent in your heart for them.
You never know, maybe he’ll try his luck and fail and will realize he lost you and come back to you. But that is not something you should ever hope for, especially given everything you’ve wrote about this tough situation.
I realize this post is almost half a year old so I hope it’s not ongoing and that it resolved by now. Hope you find your peace and happiness too.
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He's a taurus sun, scorpio moon, cancer rising. I'm a libra sun, Pisces moon, Pisces rising if relevant.
I left my taurus ex of 7 years and my home in October for personal reasons that I do not want to get into. It was a valid reason that he says
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After a break up. Can any men answer? Or anybody else who has a guess.
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Hi,
I am brooding about what it means to have a live well lived. Or bad lived, i am sure all of us know both successes
and cautionary tales. But rather than list your defitnition describe a person and why you think they either are exemplary
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I don’t see cancer women getting along with or lasting with too many men period. I think Taurus males are one who can be attracted to cancer women but does it last?
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I am married to a Scorpio man in an arranged marriage. It been six years, and from day one he's emotionally cheating on me. He still continues to obsessively stalk a girl he was interested in years ago before we met. She was his first love but he didn't
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With someone who you thought was your friend out the blue ignores you? I feel so hurt and alone. Everything changed in October when we finally hung out and the dynamic changed. We had a bit of a tiff when I told him during the hangout he hurt my feelings
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@Aymillion
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How would you define it?
Let’s say 2 people are in a relationship (not with each other), but they share a very deep bond and talk about everything. Their partner doesn’t know. They are not physically intimate.
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