Now what is HE up to?
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by MsAristocracy on Monday, June 23, 2008 and has 61 replies.
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A few months ago, not sure exact timing, I was planning to seek out my Romantic Companion. In doing so I created a profile on Yahoo Personals about how I wanted to do all of these things (fun activities) like go to the mountains, camping, historic sites, beaches, etc. Quite a few men looked at my profile but none bit.
My Scorp gf asked two guys and they came up with because I wasn't offering sex or more than friendship (I did not hint to any of that in my profile) no one wanted to put that kind of time into something not going anywhere.
Well, one of the lookers who I HOPPED on was a young Scorpio male of 25y/o. He is like an Adonis. Gorgeous as all get out. His profile speaks of his search to find his soul mate, someone to build his life with. Everything you wouldn't see a young man or any aged Scorpio saying he was seeking.
Anyway, I snagged this one and found him on Myspace sent him a message he sent a friend request and we did some brief messaging maybe 4-5 each. It ended with me saying something like
Me: Since we are so closely positioned under the sky maybe one night we can go for a drive just to get to know each other.
Him: That sounds nice, when would you like to do this?
Me: I am already sure that I want to do this, so I will wait on you. Just give me a call when you are free. (###)###-####
He read the message and never responded. I am fairly sure that was early May. The reason I am guessing instead of checking is because I have not been on Myspace for about 2weeks and I just checked my email associated with the account and among other notices from Myspace from friends was a message from him. I want to go check Myspace so badly to read it but I am afraid he is only doing it because he wants to see if he can get me to come back on Myspace since it's possible I have mail alerts.
The only other thing I can think of is that he saw me at the festival this weekend, I thought about him being there but didn't see him and didn't really look around either. But it was in our very small town so it's possible he was there.
In addition, I got two phone calls today one from a number in my area code and another from a neighboring state. Neither caller left a message so no clue if one was him or not.
I don't know what to do because I think this Scorpio is trying to manipulate me. Any thoughts?
My Scorp gf asked two guys and they came up with because I wasn't offering sex or more than friendship (I did not hint to any of that in my profile) no one wanted to put that kind of time into something not going anywhere.
Well, one of the lookers who I HOPPED on was a young Scorpio male of 25y/o. He is like an Adonis. Gorgeous as all get out. His profile speaks of his search to find his soul mate, someone to build his life with. Everything you wouldn't see a young man or any aged Scorpio saying he was seeking.
Anyway, I snagged this one and found him on Myspace sent him a message he sent a friend request and we did some brief messaging maybe 4-5 each. It ended with me saying something like
Me: Since we are so closely positioned under the sky maybe one night we can go for a drive just to get to know each other.
Him: That sounds nice, when would you like to do this?
Me: I am already sure that I want to do this, so I will wait on you. Just give me a call when you are free. (###)###-####
He read the message and never responded. I am fairly sure that was early May. The reason I am guessing instead of checking is because I have not been on Myspace for about 2weeks and I just checked my email associated with the account and among other notices from Myspace from friends was a message from him. I want to go check Myspace so badly to read it but I am afraid he is only doing it because he wants to see if he can get me to come back on Myspace since it's possible I have mail alerts.
The only other thing I can think of is that he saw me at the festival this weekend, I thought about him being there but didn't see him and didn't really look around either. But it was in our very small town so it's possible he was there.
In addition, I got two phone calls today one from a number in my area code and another from a neighboring state. Neither caller left a message so no clue if one was him or not.
I don't know what to do because I think this Scorpio is trying to manipulate me. Any thoughts?
Oh and it's very weird because he seemed really interested in me until I mentioned I didn't attend church and didn't want any more children and didn't plan to get married until after my youngest son was grown.
Even still, after he trailed off I asked about the drive and he said he was interested but never called. Then I noticed he peeked at my Yahoo Personals profile about two more times but never said anything else to me.
It's so hard not to know what a person is up to.
Even still, after he trailed off I asked about the drive and he said he was interested but never called. Then I noticed he peeked at my Yahoo Personals profile about two more times but never said anything else to me.
It's so hard not to know what a person is up to.
My profile was private when I sent him a message, I have a default pic of myself but you can't see much more than that. I peeked him with a decoy profile and he looked back I thought he was hott and found him on Myspace. So instead of responding to my message he sent a friend request.
Then once we started to chat I peeked his profile with my real profile the one looking for companionship. He increased his messaging until I gave him the low down on my plans for marriage/kids/church etc. He then trailed off after that. I would have thought he would have thought someone so "safe" would be ideal for him to date lightly with. Apparently not, and I am 7yrs older than he.
Next, I couldn't take not getting to know him and I asked to go for an evening drive, he said it sounded good asked when I wanted to, I told him it is up to him and left my number, he read that message but did not call or respond. Now, that I have been off Myspace for two weeks AND I made my Yahoo Personals profile unsearchable, he's sending me a message on Myspace 6wks after I gave my number to him.
He's probably thinking I found someone, who knows. Or it could be really light and about nothing much at all. I won't know until I check it. But if I check it then its going to look like his message is why I came back on Myspace after two weeks. That's giving him power.
Then once we started to chat I peeked his profile with my real profile the one looking for companionship. He increased his messaging until I gave him the low down on my plans for marriage/kids/church etc. He then trailed off after that. I would have thought he would have thought someone so "safe" would be ideal for him to date lightly with. Apparently not, and I am 7yrs older than he.
Next, I couldn't take not getting to know him and I asked to go for an evening drive, he said it sounded good asked when I wanted to, I told him it is up to him and left my number, he read that message but did not call or respond. Now, that I have been off Myspace for two weeks AND I made my Yahoo Personals profile unsearchable, he's sending me a message on Myspace 6wks after I gave my number to him.
He's probably thinking I found someone, who knows. Or it could be really light and about nothing much at all. I won't know until I check it. But if I check it then its going to look like his message is why I came back on Myspace after two weeks. That's giving him power.
You're right, I gave him power by giving him the option to contact me when he was free and giving my tel. no. but I didnt know he was going to carry it that way. I thought for certain he would call me at least once.
I like the way he looks so I am really worried that it will end up typical the way my "whatevers" end up with men. So, I guess I am just nervous about getting to the end sooner than later. Meaning, I don't want to learn that he doesn't want to be friends but that he just wants to confuse me with false interest, then we have sex once and it's over again for six more weeks.
I've been down this road and although, some guys are "celebrity" level to me, the way 25yrs ago women wouldn't pass up sex with Michael Jackson and Prince I feel like it would be a sex to pass up sex with him whether we stay friends or not. However, I'm not prepared to find out.
I like the way he looks so I am really worried that it will end up typical the way my "whatevers" end up with men. So, I guess I am just nervous about getting to the end sooner than later. Meaning, I don't want to learn that he doesn't want to be friends but that he just wants to confuse me with false interest, then we have sex once and it's over again for six more weeks.
I've been down this road and although, some guys are "celebrity" level to me, the way 25yrs ago women wouldn't pass up sex with Michael Jackson and Prince I feel like it would be a sex to pass up sex with him whether we stay friends or not. However, I'm not prepared to find out.
^it would be a sin not a "sex" to pass up sex with him.
I want a best friend and lover, but more emphasis on the friendship. I don't want a relationship in terms of focusing on the future but just to begin knocking things off of our bucket list. Like a partner/companion someone to do things fun with.
It's what I wished I could have with him. He was born and raised in our area. I imagine he knows most everyone in this small town. I am a newcomer of 4yrs and I haven't gotten to know many people here. Only a few men and women, very few.
When I saw him I saw a Greek god. But when i realized his hometown was a city in this small county and that most of his Myspace friends were in our city, I knew that it would be impossible for us to walk around town without feeling like every woman knows more about the man I'm falling for than I do.
When I get to know a man, I want him to be my discovery, not me catching up to learn what everyone else already knows. Plus, I don't want him to visit me and my neighbors know him and it's like "Ooh, quiet neighbor lady is seeing popular greek god" and because I live in a subdivision vs. homes spread out along a road, my neighbors will know it's me that he's visiting.
Just ruined before it starts, yet I have to get close to him one day and breathe the same air. Just once.
When I saw him I saw a Greek god. But when i realized his hometown was a city in this small county and that most of his Myspace friends were in our city, I knew that it would be impossible for us to walk around town without feeling like every woman knows more about the man I'm falling for than I do.
When I get to know a man, I want him to be my discovery, not me catching up to learn what everyone else already knows. Plus, I don't want him to visit me and my neighbors know him and it's like "Ooh, quiet neighbor lady is seeing popular greek god" and because I live in a subdivision vs. homes spread out along a road, my neighbors will know it's me that he's visiting.
Just ruined before it starts, yet I have to get close to him one day and breathe the same air. Just once.
Deep down inside I know you're right. Most of the men in my area that I've gotten to know have been loners like myself who weren't born here or newbies who moved here long after I have. We're pretty much equals and I feel safe like if something goes wrong it won't be the talk of the town.
IF I get to know him, I will feel like everyone is watching and when it ends I will feel like everyone is watching. I like feeling like I'm an eternal secret.
IF I get to know him, I will feel like everyone is watching and when it ends I will feel like everyone is watching. I like feeling like I'm an eternal secret.
Ok, I couldn't resist any longer. I logged in and this is what he said. What kind of fragganackle bullshit is this...
Him: "Hey how are you doing. Sorry its been a while. How is everything with you"
(scratches head)
Double U - Tee - Eff???????
The only thing I can think of is that he has new photos up and wanted me to check them out. Of course he looks like an angel from above, but again... why me? Why do you want ME to see your photos... you can't possibly care about anything else concerning me... Why???? Must I always have to ask this...
Him: "Hey how are you doing. Sorry its been a while. How is everything with you"
(scratches head)
Double U - Tee - Eff???????
The only thing I can think of is that he has new photos up and wanted me to check them out. Of course he looks like an angel from above, but again... why me? Why do you want ME to see your photos... you can't possibly care about anything else concerning me... Why???? Must I always have to ask this...
Girl, stop trippin'.
""What kind of fragganackle bullshit is this...""
- ahahaHAHAHA
I sent the message on May 22nd, and it was deleted from my sent box (30 days) so it's odd that he responded after 30 freaking days... WTF!!!!
His photos are of a wedding he was in. He looks very heavenly. I'm willing to bet he hit up all of the women on his page, fishing for comments to those photos.
What a drip...
His photos are of a wedding he was in. He looks very heavenly. I'm willing to bet he hit up all of the women on his page, fishing for comments to those photos.
What a drip...
ScorpSuperior said: "- ahahaHAHAHA "
You recognize that?
jackdoniel said: "You're wondering too much Ms.A ... that is so Virgolike! It doesn't seem like too much of a deal from where I stand."
ScorpSuperior, I'm tripping but with reason chica. I'm actually escaping something else by focusing on other men.
I'm kind of in a relationship but unofficially (since June 8) and I've almost cheated on him 3-4 times in thought to do it and trying to arrange it. The first time I got chicken and backed out.
The second time was with my Scorp/Sag ex and at the time when I was contemplating hopping in the car, my potential bf called saying he was on his way to my house as I thought he was busy for the night but he stole time to come spend 2hrs with me.
Then today it almost happened again today (me trying to plan it) and this past weekend before I plunged in to try and correct things with my PBF (potential bf) I was about to call up another Scorp (prev. platonic friend 2x's FWB).
I'm losing it and enough things are in my face to help me get there sooner. It's like the universe knows. Plus I am almost grateful for the opportunity to fall.
You recognize that?
jackdoniel said: "You're wondering too much Ms.A ... that is so Virgolike! It doesn't seem like too much of a deal from where I stand."
ScorpSuperior, I'm tripping but with reason chica. I'm actually escaping something else by focusing on other men.
I'm kind of in a relationship but unofficially (since June 8) and I've almost cheated on him 3-4 times in thought to do it and trying to arrange it. The first time I got chicken and backed out.
The second time was with my Scorp/Sag ex and at the time when I was contemplating hopping in the car, my potential bf called saying he was on his way to my house as I thought he was busy for the night but he stole time to come spend 2hrs with me.
Then today it almost happened again today (me trying to plan it) and this past weekend before I plunged in to try and correct things with my PBF (potential bf) I was about to call up another Scorp (prev. platonic friend 2x's FWB).
I'm losing it and enough things are in my face to help me get there sooner. It's like the universe knows. Plus I am almost grateful for the opportunity to fall.
jackdoniel said: "You're wondering too much Ms.A ... that is so Virgolike! It doesn't seem like too much of a deal from where I stand."
It's a diversion. Worthy even.
It's a diversion. Worthy even.
This game of yours, MsA, is suffocating just to read it .... having to follow along in RL must be terribly overwhelming.
Why do you play these games with men? Why not just be a person?
Why do you play these games with men? Why not just be a person?
P-Angel said: "Why do you play these games with men? Why not just be a person?"
I don't play games with men, I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts about what's happening, by the time I figure it out, it's over. I just repel men very easily and I honestly have no clue why.
If I move slow, fast, even paced, not at all... the end result is still the same. A quick relationship death.
I don't play games with men, I'm too wrapped up in my own thoughts about what's happening, by the time I figure it out, it's over. I just repel men very easily and I honestly have no clue why.
If I move slow, fast, even paced, not at all... the end result is still the same. A quick relationship death.
Aris, are you just intrigued because these guys are scorpios?
"I just repel men very easily and I honestly have no clue why."
Would you like some pointers?
I think the last time we crossed paths, you politely refused my input. Feel free to do so again.
Would you like some pointers?
I think the last time we crossed paths, you politely refused my input. Feel free to do so again.
Scorp_rising, I'd like to hear some of those pointers. I'm a Virgo asc. and I do identify with some of Ms.Aristocracy's problems, though I don't tend to keep my focus on "outlier" men that long.
You'd have to start your own thread and provide some detailed & juicy information to work with.
All the material would be specific to MsA.
material *here*
MsA: what the fuck are you doing girl!!! how desperate are you making yourself sound? is this some kind of game to you? are you only 14 for real???????
you haven't got a hope in hell of gaining any decent man's respect that's for sure. you obviously look to men to validate you and that is not healthy and will lead you into an unhappy relationship.
i think you should have some serious therapy. all i see in everything you write are self-made issues. your behaviour attracts the response you get. you have to stop this for your own sake.
have more self respect and then others will respect you more.
you haven't got a hope in hell of gaining any decent man's respect that's for sure. you obviously look to men to validate you and that is not healthy and will lead you into an unhappy relationship.
i think you should have some serious therapy. all i see in everything you write are self-made issues. your behaviour attracts the response you get. you have to stop this for your own sake.
have more self respect and then others will respect you more.
"you obviously look to men to validate you and that is not healthy and will lead you into an unhappy relationship."
I totally agree with AX there. Ms A, it sounds to me like you need to stop all this bullshit and just be single for a while. Find out who you are again, realise your strength again instead of subconsciously getting yourself into ridiculous situations so that you can avoid the real issue here.
You sound a bit lost at the moment, i'm not meaning to sound harsh here but i'm keeping it short coz I don't want to waffle on with a big long post. I read your other thread about your scorp/sag ex as well, and have formed my opinion based on both of these topics combined. I really hope you find your way out of this soon...
I totally agree with AX there. Ms A, it sounds to me like you need to stop all this bullshit and just be single for a while. Find out who you are again, realise your strength again instead of subconsciously getting yourself into ridiculous situations so that you can avoid the real issue here.
You sound a bit lost at the moment, i'm not meaning to sound harsh here but i'm keeping it short coz I don't want to waffle on with a big long post. I read your other thread about your scorp/sag ex as well, and have formed my opinion based on both of these topics combined. I really hope you find your way out of this soon...
pathfinder said: "Aris, are you just intrigued because these guys are scorpios?"
Not at all. I like Scorpio men because of the sensuality groove we feed to each other. Outside of that "zone" it's like trying to pull teeth. These men are who happen to be a part of my life, caught my eye, I caught theirs. It's not planned. Believe me.
Not at all. I like Scorpio men because of the sensuality groove we feed to each other. Outside of that "zone" it's like trying to pull teeth. These men are who happen to be a part of my life, caught my eye, I caught theirs. It's not planned. Believe me.
"Outside of that "zone" it's like trying to pull teeth."
I'm assuming by sensuality zone you mean "sex" zone. It's like pulling teeth cuz you're not understanding them outside of that sex zone.
Sex alone does not a relationship make with a scorp man...or any man for that matter. Even worse with a scorp cuz they're on to you.
You're a flaky personality...and it shows in the way you describe your behaviour. A scorp man is NOT going to commit to you until you learn to "fix" yourself.
Now, being a virgo, you're mutable so being fixed is gonna be like "pulling teeth". Unless you have some fixed sign somewhere significant in your chart or somehow learn to be stable...forget about scorp men.
You wont get what you want from them...cuz with the way you are now, none of them will be giving it to you.
I'm assuming by sensuality zone you mean "sex" zone. It's like pulling teeth cuz you're not understanding them outside of that sex zone.
Sex alone does not a relationship make with a scorp man...or any man for that matter. Even worse with a scorp cuz they're on to you.
You're a flaky personality...and it shows in the way you describe your behaviour. A scorp man is NOT going to commit to you until you learn to "fix" yourself.
Now, being a virgo, you're mutable so being fixed is gonna be like "pulling teeth". Unless you have some fixed sign somewhere significant in your chart or somehow learn to be stable...forget about scorp men.
You wont get what you want from them...cuz with the way you are now, none of them will be giving it to you.
sagigoat said: "i mean you just don't go behind your best friend's back and do something hurts him unless he tells you it's fine with him. do you agree?"
Yes, I agree. He's not my best friend (yet). I did not cheat because I have feelings for him. My Aries moon wants all of him now. I get this "let's play house" when I connect (really connect) with a man and finding patience (for passion) is just really hard. I will probably go into detail later about him.
He's not a Scorpio but it's just been really hard finally finding someone who isn't scared of me or my feelings, yet moves really slow, but is right there with me. I realized within the past two years that I really don't know hot to be in a relationship, no real experience. So, it's hard on me. Almost like a junkie trying to stay clean.
He's only in a potential status because we haven't given any titles out. It's only been since June 8th (officially met and connected). So far he is everything I need. The problem is that I really never planned to get in a relationship because I don't want that kind of disappointment again. So, it's easier to just be friends and lovers but something more than after 10pm. I am an exclusive kind of girl for the right man but most of the men are so surface, they don't get really deep with me so that I can be that to them.
Yes, I agree. He's not my best friend (yet). I did not cheat because I have feelings for him. My Aries moon wants all of him now. I get this "let's play house" when I connect (really connect) with a man and finding patience (for passion) is just really hard. I will probably go into detail later about him.
He's not a Scorpio but it's just been really hard finally finding someone who isn't scared of me or my feelings, yet moves really slow, but is right there with me. I realized within the past two years that I really don't know hot to be in a relationship, no real experience. So, it's hard on me. Almost like a junkie trying to stay clean.
He's only in a potential status because we haven't given any titles out. It's only been since June 8th (officially met and connected). So far he is everything I need. The problem is that I really never planned to get in a relationship because I don't want that kind of disappointment again. So, it's easier to just be friends and lovers but something more than after 10pm. I am an exclusive kind of girl for the right man but most of the men are so surface, they don't get really deep with me so that I can be that to them.
"...feel bad that you repel those men who desire something more exlusive "
Nope, it's not those that I repel. I repel the ones I connect with. I know they feel what I feel, they just don't want to feel it because that's not what they want for themselves. The men I connect with often say they don't want to be in a relationship because they like their freedom. To them, being with me, means they will lose their freedom.
Apparently, I give off a sense that they will morph into someone else once they take on the title of Captain Boyfriend. I don't know. These men never leave me alone once they say they don't want a relationship, yet the connection is so awesome that I can't accept that they don't. They catch attitudes when my feelings surface and are presented but I'm the one who's wrong.
Nope, it's not those that I repel. I repel the ones I connect with. I know they feel what I feel, they just don't want to feel it because that's not what they want for themselves. The men I connect with often say they don't want to be in a relationship because they like their freedom. To them, being with me, means they will lose their freedom.
Apparently, I give off a sense that they will morph into someone else once they take on the title of Captain Boyfriend. I don't know. These men never leave me alone once they say they don't want a relationship, yet the connection is so awesome that I can't accept that they don't. They catch attitudes when my feelings surface and are presented but I'm the one who's wrong.
AgentX said: "have more self respect and then others will respect you more."
Who are these others, because I don't feel disrespected? Any new man in my life has no clue of my past with other men. If you mean people here on DXP, no one here has to pay me one ounce of attention. There are people who don't mind helping on here in spite of what they feel inside about me, they don't kick me at a time when I need a hand.
Who are these others, because I don't feel disrespected? Any new man in my life has no clue of my past with other men. If you mean people here on DXP, no one here has to pay me one ounce of attention. There are people who don't mind helping on here in spite of what they feel inside about me, they don't kick me at a time when I need a hand.
oddball73 said: "just be single for a while. Find out who you are again"
Thanks for your insight. I actually am single, have been single all of my life. Occasionally getting to know men does not make me "un"single. No man nor my experiences with being with men has ever interfered with any other areas of my life. If being single for a while and finding myself again is for the hopes of me finding my happily ever after, I will pass. I'm not interested in anything long term as far as working towards it.
I have no intentions of putting time or dedicating my life to becoming a Michelle McKinney-Hammond or Juanita Bynum. I'm not perfett, but no one is. NO ONE! And, I am not all screwed up in the head as everyone wants to believe, perhaps by you all's judgmental standards but not by my own or that of my family's, friends or co-workers.
I enjoy coming here, discussing zodiacs and relationships, I don't come here for head shrinking, what you see is what you right now get. I will evolve naturally or at least in my own pace, not through a consensus need among my peers. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. But, if my releasing the things that goes on in my head/life/heart upsets anyone, it's not intentional. I'm just purging.
Thanks for your insight. I actually am single, have been single all of my life. Occasionally getting to know men does not make me "un"single. No man nor my experiences with being with men has ever interfered with any other areas of my life. If being single for a while and finding myself again is for the hopes of me finding my happily ever after, I will pass. I'm not interested in anything long term as far as working towards it.
I have no intentions of putting time or dedicating my life to becoming a Michelle McKinney-Hammond or Juanita Bynum. I'm not perfett, but no one is. NO ONE! And, I am not all screwed up in the head as everyone wants to believe, perhaps by you all's judgmental standards but not by my own or that of my family's, friends or co-workers.
I enjoy coming here, discussing zodiacs and relationships, I don't come here for head shrinking, what you see is what you right now get. I will evolve naturally or at least in my own pace, not through a consensus need among my peers. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. But, if my releasing the things that goes on in my head/life/heart upsets anyone, it's not intentional. I'm just purging.
jackdoniel said: "Hi Ms.A ... what's your definition of a long term relationship?"
Anything leading towards marriage.
I don't mind being in a relationship as long as there are no longevity expectations attached. I'd rather wake up one day and discover I've been with a man for a year than to go into it expecting it to go that length.
Anything leading towards marriage.
I don't mind being in a relationship as long as there are no longevity expectations attached. I'd rather wake up one day and discover I've been with a man for a year than to go into it expecting it to go that length.
Hi Ms.A ... what's your definition of a long term relationship?
anything more than a couple of weeks by the sound of it.
anything more than a couple of weeks by the sound of it.
MsA: why go into anything with any expectations at all? relationships grow organically and can't be forced. just because you date a man who ultimately sees himself marrying and settling down, it doesn't necessarily mean that you would be the one. you could discount someone perfect for you if you allow expectations to get in the way.
i can kind of see what she's saying SAG because she's talking about her IDEA of a relationship and not an existing one. so in her ideal, a relationship would be a day by day experience i guess but that's not entirely realistic. once feelings come into play, expectations are blown out of the water.
sag: she was saying that anything leading towards marriage is a long term relationship in her view and it was in answer to JD
AgentX said: ". just because you date a man who ultimately sees himself marrying and settling down, it doesn't necessarily mean that you would be the one"
I wouldn't feel right taking up his time, keeping him from focusing on his goal. That girl's out there somewhere. He shouldn't be with me if I'm not her. For a lot of women and men, things don't happen organically. Women want the happily ever after, men fear it (initially anyway). So in relationships, the woman is trying to find her groove with this man in learning her new role while he is trying to hold on to his space/freedom while getting a lot of what he needs from the relationship he is building with her without recipocrating the same. If that's natural/organic then I need to turn up the fight lol.
Sagalicious said: "That seems kinda contradictory, IMO."
I'm not sure if you think he was asking me about LTR because it's something I want which would make that statement contradictory. Perhaps you can elaborate the confusing part. I am not looking/expecting anything long term, I'd rather it happen without me waking up saying, "Yes, Herbert is my boyfriend, we'll get married one day I'm sure, blah-blah-blah"
Less focus on the happily ever after keeps me less stressed.
I wouldn't feel right taking up his time, keeping him from focusing on his goal. That girl's out there somewhere. He shouldn't be with me if I'm not her. For a lot of women and men, things don't happen organically. Women want the happily ever after, men fear it (initially anyway). So in relationships, the woman is trying to find her groove with this man in learning her new role while he is trying to hold on to his space/freedom while getting a lot of what he needs from the relationship he is building with her without recipocrating the same. If that's natural/organic then I need to turn up the fight lol.
Sagalicious said: "That seems kinda contradictory, IMO."
I'm not sure if you think he was asking me about LTR because it's something I want which would make that statement contradictory. Perhaps you can elaborate the confusing part. I am not looking/expecting anything long term, I'd rather it happen without me waking up saying, "Yes, Herbert is my boyfriend, we'll get married one day I'm sure, blah-blah-blah"
Less focus on the happily ever after keeps me less stressed.
Thanks AgentX for explaining what I meant (LTR) for me.
Jackdoniel, I decided some time ago that I didnt want to get married until my youngest (10yrs) is at least 18yrs old. The reason being, I don't want more children and I don't want to be an active mother and wife.
If I get married before my children are grown then I'm going to be more of a mother than a wife as children require more tending to. Once they're grown IF I have had no more children I will have to redirect my husband and my life into what I currently want it to be like in 8yrs. That's a lot of redirecting. So, I just want to finish one path before starting another.
I love men and will not stop getting to know them. But, I meet a lot of men who have no children and some who want tons of babies (current guy says I can have 6-10 and he asked me if I'm sure I want to get my tubes tied). The truth is, I can't control falling in love, I would never say no to marriage to someone I love, which also means I would never say no to having a baby with my husband.
So, I'd rather just keep it on the lighter side. My love for a man burns like a candle, the wicks not intended to be eternal. Though, after marriage it should.
Jackdoniel, I decided some time ago that I didnt want to get married until my youngest (10yrs) is at least 18yrs old. The reason being, I don't want more children and I don't want to be an active mother and wife.
If I get married before my children are grown then I'm going to be more of a mother than a wife as children require more tending to. Once they're grown IF I have had no more children I will have to redirect my husband and my life into what I currently want it to be like in 8yrs. That's a lot of redirecting. So, I just want to finish one path before starting another.
I love men and will not stop getting to know them. But, I meet a lot of men who have no children and some who want tons of babies (current guy says I can have 6-10 and he asked me if I'm sure I want to get my tubes tied). The truth is, I can't control falling in love, I would never say no to marriage to someone I love, which also means I would never say no to having a baby with my husband.
So, I'd rather just keep it on the lighter side. My love for a man burns like a candle, the wicks not intended to be eternal. Though, after marriage it should.
Jackdoniel, I think I'm not so fond of the M word. Thanks for the post. It actually scares me.
And...
Like Starfish said I do need someone on my same page. I will be honest I will not take a break and be alone for a while. I've been there and done that, learned nothing each time. I'm comfortable where I am and have no problem cooperating and compromising.
I know the PBF is someone who cares about me (lightly) and so I will not take that for granted. He's a really nice man. I will be patient and see where day by day takes us. I won't rock the boat or as P-Angel says, no more playing with these men (which I didn't realize it was playing just being with them but no arguments on that).
The bottom line is, by including other men I rob myself of learning who I can be (a girlfriend) to a man. A role I would like to explore. So, I will stop focusing and over-thinking every little thing. Just relax... and be natural... organic... realistic... self-control... healthy living.
Thanks everyone.
And...
Like Starfish said I do need someone on my same page. I will be honest I will not take a break and be alone for a while. I've been there and done that, learned nothing each time. I'm comfortable where I am and have no problem cooperating and compromising.
I know the PBF is someone who cares about me (lightly) and so I will not take that for granted. He's a really nice man. I will be patient and see where day by day takes us. I won't rock the boat or as P-Angel says, no more playing with these men (which I didn't realize it was playing just being with them but no arguments on that).
The bottom line is, by including other men I rob myself of learning who I can be (a girlfriend) to a man. A role I would like to explore. So, I will stop focusing and over-thinking every little thing. Just relax... and be natural... organic... realistic... self-control... healthy living.
Thanks everyone.
AGentX said "MsA: why go into anything with any expectations at all? relationships grow organically and can't be forced. just because you date a man who ultimately sees himself marrying and settling down, it doesn't necessarily mean that you would be the one. .."
Excellent, AgentX. I'm glad that MsA agrees.
Excellent, AgentX. I'm glad that MsA agrees.
It seems this post got off point. ?? MsA, you were wondering about the scorpio man who was calling you for (what appeared to be) a booty call. You say in your posts you are only looking for sex with him. You say you are not looking for anything long term. Hmmm, imho, I think you really like the scorps for it all. Not just the sex. No, I don't think so. I don't mean to sound harsh, MsA, but you are a reasonable person. So here it is.
If you say you are always finding yourself involved with one (albeit for only physcial liasions), it's probably because he sees right though you as an "easy lay". You may be hard to read to other guys, but not to him. Now for you, I think somewhere you read about scorpios and you are caught up in the sex thing because maybe you think sex means love to him and it would be so fulfilling. Yes, he is good in bed, because he aims to please, but that's another post... :-)
MsA, if all he is calling you for is sex, he does not respect you, and it won't turn to love, unless by an act of god (that changes his awareness). You say you only want him for sex anyway? Ok, charge him for sex, otherwise I hope you can handle being treated like the champion of the "Trash Trick". Fooling around with a scorpio man who doesn't respect you will cause you to lose respect for yourself, if you have any depth to see how he has identified you.
Consider your position, MsA: You are a single mother. Have a higher standard.
My advice: Explore something with someone who cares about you and you could care for.
If you say you are always finding yourself involved with one (albeit for only physcial liasions), it's probably because he sees right though you as an "easy lay". You may be hard to read to other guys, but not to him. Now for you, I think somewhere you read about scorpios and you are caught up in the sex thing because maybe you think sex means love to him and it would be so fulfilling. Yes, he is good in bed, because he aims to please, but that's another post... :-)
MsA, if all he is calling you for is sex, he does not respect you, and it won't turn to love, unless by an act of god (that changes his awareness). You say you only want him for sex anyway? Ok, charge him for sex, otherwise I hope you can handle being treated like the champion of the "Trash Trick". Fooling around with a scorpio man who doesn't respect you will cause you to lose respect for yourself, if you have any depth to see how he has identified you.
Consider your position, MsA: You are a single mother. Have a higher standard.
My advice: Explore something with someone who cares about you and you could care for.
Am I the only one whose screen "blacks out" whenever I click on a thread? Sometimes I wonder if dxp likes to mess with me.
Pathfinder, you're sounding a lot like my Scorpio gf. She is a 100% firm believer that there isn't a Scorpio man on this earth that desires to love a woman. Only use, manipulate and walk all over.
I'm not saying I disagree but I find it hard to believe about EVERY Scorpio man. But, I have yet to find anyone who believes a Scorpio man anywhere is capable of showing true love.
Why is it me who has to be the one with the blinders on. Why is it that he wanting me time and again is him not realizing he has feelings for me. Yes, he may contact me when he is in the heat of the moment or with the heat of the moment on his mind. But, he has not seen me since October 2007. Why am I still considered trashy? Because I text/IM with him?
Is he really the devil whom I should leave alone forever? I'm not quite sure what everyone else is picking up from what I'm putting down, but he's never done anything to make me feel disrespected or less of a person/mother any of the times he's contacted me.
I've never been an easy lay unless I want to be an easy lay. I enjoy sex, I don't use it to get men to love me. There's not that many men in my life I cared enough to want them to love me. Admit they enjoyed my presence yes, loved me, not so many.
I think there should be less pointing the finger at the women who desire to be with Scorpio men and just put it all out there as to what's going on with these Scorpio males. Explanations as to why so many women run into problems trying to be with them. Is it us or them, or is it us for trying to love them?
I'll do you one better, my gf (the Scorp) says she's not so different from the Scorp men I am involved with but somehow I want to see the good in her. I know for a fact that she's been in love with different men. Based on how the relationship goes (for her) and how it ends. She's definitely no saint but in spite of her insistence that she's just like a Scorpio male how many other Scorpio women feel this way? Are all Scorpios not worth loving because they are incapable of showing respect, being faithful or truly loving someone?
I'm not saying I disagree but I find it hard to believe about EVERY Scorpio man. But, I have yet to find anyone who believes a Scorpio man anywhere is capable of showing true love.
Why is it me who has to be the one with the blinders on. Why is it that he wanting me time and again is him not realizing he has feelings for me. Yes, he may contact me when he is in the heat of the moment or with the heat of the moment on his mind. But, he has not seen me since October 2007. Why am I still considered trashy? Because I text/IM with him?
Is he really the devil whom I should leave alone forever? I'm not quite sure what everyone else is picking up from what I'm putting down, but he's never done anything to make me feel disrespected or less of a person/mother any of the times he's contacted me.
I've never been an easy lay unless I want to be an easy lay. I enjoy sex, I don't use it to get men to love me. There's not that many men in my life I cared enough to want them to love me. Admit they enjoyed my presence yes, loved me, not so many.
I think there should be less pointing the finger at the women who desire to be with Scorpio men and just put it all out there as to what's going on with these Scorpio males. Explanations as to why so many women run into problems trying to be with them. Is it us or them, or is it us for trying to love them?
I'll do you one better, my gf (the Scorp) says she's not so different from the Scorp men I am involved with but somehow I want to see the good in her. I know for a fact that she's been in love with different men. Based on how the relationship goes (for her) and how it ends. She's definitely no saint but in spite of her insistence that she's just like a Scorpio male how many other Scorpio women feel this way? Are all Scorpios not worth loving because they are incapable of showing respect, being faithful or truly loving someone?
MsA, you make some valid points IF the guy is into you. I never said a scorpio man is incapable of loving a woman or anybody for that matter. I am only going by what you are saying in this post.
I have been in a relationship with a scorpio man over a year now, and he is extremely very loving. I've known several, have a few as friends and one of my best friends is a scorpio woman. In my experience, I have found them to be very good at "locating" a person. If he determines that you are a woman he can be proud of and respect, and he wants you in his life then you can be sure of his affection/love. He has accepted you for who you are (not your "representative") and he is into you. He KNOWS you. That's not a light thing.
With that in mind, do this: point blank ask him, if you really want to know where you stand with him. Nine out of ten, he won't lie to you. Unless he's the grey lizard type...but even they can't lie for too long.
I wish you the best. Really.
I have been in a relationship with a scorpio man over a year now, and he is extremely very loving. I've known several, have a few as friends and one of my best friends is a scorpio woman. In my experience, I have found them to be very good at "locating" a person. If he determines that you are a woman he can be proud of and respect, and he wants you in his life then you can be sure of his affection/love. He has accepted you for who you are (not your "representative") and he is into you. He KNOWS you. That's not a light thing.
With that in mind, do this: point blank ask him, if you really want to know where you stand with him. Nine out of ten, he won't lie to you. Unless he's the grey lizard type...but even they can't lie for too long.
I wish you the best. Really.
Ferdy,
Wait it out, hon. Don't just to any conclusions. :-)
Wait it out, hon. Don't just to any conclusions. :-)
*just* = jump
Ferdy, I love ya! You are so real. I don't know if we would be taking over MsA's thread, but is this the same guy you were involved with who had to return home after you met him at work or something like that?
"I feel like he's totally forgotten how we were together."
Hardly... :-)
Hardly... :-)
LOL @ your last statement!
I'd believe him if he said he won't want you to leave. Visits are tough if he really digs you. Keep talking to him. Don't stop. Has he said anything about coming back down your way?
I'd believe him if he said he won't want you to leave. Visits are tough if he really digs you. Keep talking to him. Don't stop. Has he said anything about coming back down your way?
It is not easy for him, Ferdy. As a matter of fact, you may let go before he does. In my experience, when a scorpio man is into you, he gets deeper than you can imagine.
((((0)))) big hug to you
((((0)))) big hug to you
*last statment* = regarding subject thread
If possible, don't let weeks go by without contact.
No, it would probably be good for you to see each other and spend time together. Any way you could go to him?
No, it would probably be good for you to see each other and spend time together. Any way you could go to him?
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