Scorpio Mirroring.
This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by heliumfiasco on Thursday, July 25, 2013 and has 25 replies.
Can someone explain why Scorpios do the whole mirroring thing. I've noticed it a lot. Is it a protective thing? How can you know how a Scorpio is really feeling if all they do is copy your emotions and actions?
explain more. im born on the cusp of sco-sag but I have more scorpio traits
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I don't think that the mirroring is conscious. I do not think they simply copy you, either.
I think they are very intuitive people. They can feel things- a vibe, an emotion, whatever. And then that affects how they feel and behave, so they end up mirroring it. Kind of like whatever vibes you put out are like, contagious, whether that is good or bad. but I think we tend to notice it more when it is a negative emotion.
I think they are very intuitive people. They can feel things- a vibe, an emotion, whatever. And then that affects how they feel and behave, so they end up mirroring it. Kind of like whatever vibes you put out are like, contagious, whether that is good or bad. but I think we tend to notice it more when it is a negative emotion.
Posted by MellyMel909
I don't think the mirroring they do = copying you. At least in an emotional sense.
Mirroring, as I understand it, simply means: if you are honest (with yourself and others), they will be honest. If you are not invested, they will not get too invested. If you do not know what you want or are "only looking for fun/something not serious", they will only look at you as something fun and not serious.
It's not really copying you.. It's more like gauging you and responding accordingly. At least as I see it.
1+
Posted by capgirl69
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I don't think that the mirroring is conscious. I do not think they simply copy you, either.
I think they are very intuitive people. They can feel things- a vibe, an emotion, whatever. And then that affects how they feel and behave, so they end up mirroring it. Kind of like whatever vibes you put out are like, contagious, whether that is good or bad. but I think we tend to notice it more when it is a negative emotion.
1+
I do notice it a lot at home when one of us is in a funk.
I think I do it too, Scorpio moon thing, maybe?
Just if one of us is in a funk, the both of us are miserable.
And usually the Scorp is the one to break it by saying, "Let's stop being sad sacks and do something."
So we get up off the couch and we go out and we both start having fun and we both feel better.
I think I do it too, Scorpio moon thing, maybe?
Just if one of us is in a funk, the both of us are miserable.
And usually the Scorp is the one to break it by saying, "Let's stop being sad sacks and do something."
So we get up off the couch and we go out and we both start having fun and we both feel better.
everything up here is true. its all about the vibe
It is not so much mirroring as in providing you an identical version of whom you may be.
It is action-reaction, because of our intuitive capabilities, more often than not subconscious gut feelings, we follow them, we may more often than not use this 'knowledge' to fuel our actions, because over time we may come to realise, they hardly fail us at all and keeps us out of trouble.
It is also a form of reciprocation, we like to bounce back and forth, like a match of tennis, one you do something for us we pick up on, we like to return the ball back to your court so you may be satisfied as well. Then we expect it in return, this keeps the 'energy' within said relationship going, it keeps it from going 'stale'.
The above, is in a way how we invest and have our significant others invest in ourselves as well. It takes two to tango, that is a motto we follow, we are dancing together but exists as separate whole entities. We respect this, we are suppose to be different, variations bring constant spark and spice, taking each other to new places, we are our own statistical selves, but without a 'mirror' or wall to bounce off of, one might as well be in a relationship with the wind. We need that rapport, we need that connection, we need to know we are with you and 'not only beside you. We meld, we merge, but retaining our own core self and we expect that level of independence from our significant other.
It is action-reaction, because of our intuitive capabilities, more often than not subconscious gut feelings, we follow them, we may more often than not use this 'knowledge' to fuel our actions, because over time we may come to realise, they hardly fail us at all and keeps us out of trouble.
It is also a form of reciprocation, we like to bounce back and forth, like a match of tennis, one you do something for us we pick up on, we like to return the ball back to your court so you may be satisfied as well. Then we expect it in return, this keeps the 'energy' within said relationship going, it keeps it from going 'stale'.
The above, is in a way how we invest and have our significant others invest in ourselves as well. It takes two to tango, that is a motto we follow, we are dancing together but exists as separate whole entities. We respect this, we are suppose to be different, variations bring constant spark and spice, taking each other to new places, we are our own statistical selves, but without a 'mirror' or wall to bounce off of, one might as well be in a relationship with the wind. We need that rapport, we need that connection, we need to know we are with you and 'not only beside you. We meld, we merge, but retaining our own core self and we expect that level of independence from our significant other.
This makes a lot of sense. I have noticed a very crazy thing about myself lately and I think the mirroring from a Scorpio helped that. Every time the Scorpio and I have a very intimate, deep time...I act bat shit crazy the day after. I can't even stop myself from doing it. I just want attention, security and even one wrong word will send me off the edge where I will start an argument. Where as I so need that. I think he needs a couple days to process things. Ive never given that nor has he given me my confirmation so its a mess. This HAS to be worked on, on my end. I am well aware.
This being said. I have watched how the Scorpio mirrors me even to my general liking when we are around one another. It's very odd. I've come to notice that where a Capricorn or Libra can handle my craziness I think the Scorpio is actually VERY sensitive about it. I am only just realizing how sensitive he is. He made me a drink and it was very sweet, I made a face (not consciously) and even that he was offended by, "you don't have to drink that if you hate it.".... Or when we were going to a movie I asked how much longer until it started he said " Two hours, I'm sorry if I'm boring you and you will be forced to talk to me. I know you better than you think."... The thing was I didn't feel that way.
He mirrors my actions verbatim. I know people on the board had said so, but I was in denial. Now i'm like holy shit... have I been a cause of a lot of this? It's just a very weird concept and I see it so very clearly now. Now, when he is acting a way I don't like I think "is this how I come off?"... I really find it all fascinating!
This being said. I have watched how the Scorpio mirrors me even to my general liking when we are around one another. It's very odd. I've come to notice that where a Capricorn or Libra can handle my craziness I think the Scorpio is actually VERY sensitive about it. I am only just realizing how sensitive he is. He made me a drink and it was very sweet, I made a face (not consciously) and even that he was offended by, "you don't have to drink that if you hate it.".... Or when we were going to a movie I asked how much longer until it started he said " Two hours, I'm sorry if I'm boring you and you will be forced to talk to me. I know you better than you think."... The thing was I didn't feel that way.
He mirrors my actions verbatim. I know people on the board had said so, but I was in denial. Now i'm like holy shit... have I been a cause of a lot of this? It's just a very weird concept and I see it so very clearly now. Now, when he is acting a way I don't like I think "is this how I come off?"... I really find it all fascinating!
cheekyfaerie:
Correct, in the beginning it is in a way self-preservation and self-containment but all this self-control, is warranted to a degree, to keep ones heart under lock and key, to be aware of red flags as they come but think again, how much of that relentless self-control, in fact comes from fear. A lot. Therefore no worthwhile relationship will flourish under such circumstances, not a lengthy one at that.
It is fear driven, we are afraid to be in a state of vulnerability, to let others in, but the truth is this fear will also eventually drive us away from possible love, love requires us to jump. Let us take diving as an example, we may stand on the ledge of the dive board, we fear, we fear with every molecule of our being, of what may be, therefore to preserve ourselves from, hmm, let us say, embarrassment, we slowly back ourselves down the ladder. When in fact, we should have dived anyways, why? When we took the plunge we are not letting go of the fear, but surpassing our fear, we do not let it rule us, it does not disappear, it does not go away, it will always be there, but we can say we are the ones in control of those very fears that stricken us. Every time, there in afterwards, when we appear on the ledge, we still fear, but every dive, builds our courage up even more so, and 'that' we must learn to tackle and master.
If we let fear rule us, we lose out on the complete depth and breadth that comes with love, there is no guarantee, no security that comes with it, as you have evidently figured out but every loss will only teach us to get up on our own feet again, it should not dampen our hearts and its capability to swim entirely in love. By self-preservation, we are keeping those whom love us at arms length, eventually one will end up pushing those whom matter away.
Love is both selfish and selfless. Love hurts as much as it heals, we should not be afraid of pain but live with the knowledge that we can always strive pass the gates of hell and surpass every summit of the highest peaks, alive.
/ramblingmusings
Correct, in the beginning it is in a way self-preservation and self-containment but all this self-control, is warranted to a degree, to keep ones heart under lock and key, to be aware of red flags as they come but think again, how much of that relentless self-control, in fact comes from fear. A lot. Therefore no worthwhile relationship will flourish under such circumstances, not a lengthy one at that.
It is fear driven, we are afraid to be in a state of vulnerability, to let others in, but the truth is this fear will also eventually drive us away from possible love, love requires us to jump. Let us take diving as an example, we may stand on the ledge of the dive board, we fear, we fear with every molecule of our being, of what may be, therefore to preserve ourselves from, hmm, let us say, embarrassment, we slowly back ourselves down the ladder. When in fact, we should have dived anyways, why? When we took the plunge we are not letting go of the fear, but surpassing our fear, we do not let it rule us, it does not disappear, it does not go away, it will always be there, but we can say we are the ones in control of those very fears that stricken us. Every time, there in afterwards, when we appear on the ledge, we still fear, but every dive, builds our courage up even more so, and 'that' we must learn to tackle and master.
If we let fear rule us, we lose out on the complete depth and breadth that comes with love, there is no guarantee, no security that comes with it, as you have evidently figured out but every loss will only teach us to get up on our own feet again, it should not dampen our hearts and its capability to swim entirely in love. By self-preservation, we are keeping those whom love us at arms length, eventually one will end up pushing those whom matter away.
Love is both selfish and selfless. Love hurts as much as it heals, we should not be afraid of pain but live with the knowledge that we can always strive pass the gates of hell and surpass every summit of the highest peaks, alive.
/ramblingmusings
Posted by heliumfiasco
This makes a lot of sense. I have noticed a very crazy thing about myself lately and I think the mirroring from a Scorpio helped that. Every time the Scorpio and I have a very intimate, deep time...I act bat shit crazy the day after. I can't even stop myself from doing it. I just want attention, security and even one wrong word will send me off the edge where I will start an argument. Where as I so need that. I think he needs a couple days to process things. Ive never given that nor has he given me my confirmation so its a mess. This HAS to be worked on, on my end. I am well aware.
This being said. I have watched how the Scorpio mirrors me even to my general liking when we are around one another. It's very odd. I've come to notice that where a Capricorn or Libra can handle my craziness I think the Scorpio is actually VERY sensitive about it. I am only just realizing how sensitive he is. He made me a drink and it was very sweet, I made a face (not consciously) and even that he was offended by, "you don't have to drink that if you hate it.".... Or when we were going to a movie I asked how much longer until it started he said " Two hours, I'm sorry if I'm boring you and you will be forced to talk to me. I know you better than you think."... The thing was I didn't feel that way.
He mirrors my actions verbatim. I know people on the board had said so, but I was in denial. Now i'm like holy shit... have I been a cause of a lot of this? It's just a very weird concept and I see it so very clearly now. Now, when he is acting a way I don't like I think "is this how I come off?"... I really find it all fascinating!
That sounds more of a sensitivity to you and your reactions/needs/wants/desires more so than a sensitivity in offense on his part, we care about our significant others, we are at most times very much in tune with our significant others conscious and subconscious reactions to our actions, our subsequent observations, catalogued, dissected, analyzed, will hopefully make us even better lovers to them. We take but we also give immensely in return.
Yes, sometimes we in fact do what the other parties do upon us, if our verbal communication meets a dead end and wall, we will show the other party what they are doing to us through 'mirroring', so they know what we are experiencing and letting them be truly aware of the consequences/effects in
...consequences/effects in which their own actions are causing to others (namely, us). Action speaks louder than words, no?
Posted by cheekyfaerie
Lady Scorpio,
I completely agree. Like i said, it can be counter productive. As i get older and hopefully more evolved, i'm learning to let go. A work in progress.
Of course, although it is far much easier said than done but nonetheless, awareness is part of the journey there
Posted by MellyMel909
I don't think the mirroring they do = copying you. At least in an emotional sense.
Mirroring, as I understand it, simply means: if you are honest (with yourself and others), they will be honest. If you are not invested, they will not get too invested. If you do not know what you want or are "only looking for fun/something not serious", they will only look at you as something fun and not serious.
It's not really copying you.. It's more like gauging you and responding accordingly. At least as I see it.
well put....
Posted by ellessque
we're actually very trainable
like a german shepherd
gonna make a mental note of that for possible future reference lol
Very true and I see a lot of that. I will miss him dearly (we're both moving on Saturday). I hope in his future he can overcome that, because you described him perfectly. He has a lot of pain.
^^^ That was in regards to TheScorpioLady's last comment!
@ellesque.... haha I wish I would have been able to train my Scorp. However, I failed miserably at that!
@ellesque.... haha I wish I would have been able to train my Scorp. However, I failed miserably at that!
Posted by TheLadyScorpio
cheekyfaerie:
Correct, in the beginning it is in a way self-preservation and self-containment but all this self-control, is warranted to a degree, to keep ones heart under lock and key, to be aware of red flags as they come but think again, how much of that relentless self-control, in fact comes from fear. A lot. Therefore no worthwhile relationship will flourish under such circumstances, not a lengthy one at that.
It is fear driven, we are afraid to be in a state of vulnerability, to let others in, but the truth is this fear will also eventually drive us away from possible love, love requires us to jump. Let us take diving as an example, we may stand on the ledge of the dive board, we fear, we fear with every molecule of our being, of what may be, therefore to preserve ourselves from, hmm, let us say, embarrassment, we slowly back ourselves down the ladder. When in fact, we should have dived anyways, why? When we took the plunge we are not letting go of the fear, but surpassing our fear, we do not let it rule us, it does not disappear, it does not go away, it will always be there, but we can say we are the ones in control of those very fears that stricken us. Every time, there in afterwards, when we appear on the ledge, we still fear, but every dive, builds our courage up even more so, and 'that' we must learn to tackle and master.
If we let fear rule us, we lose out on the complete depth and breadth that comes with love, there is no guarantee, no security that comes with it, as you have evidently figured out but every loss will only teach us to get up on our own feet again, it should not dampen our hearts and its capability to swim entirely in love. By self-preservation, we are keeping those whom love us at arms length, eventually one will end up pushing those whom matter away.
Love is both selfish and selfless. Love hurts as much as it heals, we should not be afraid of pain but live with the knowledge that we can always strive pass the gates of hell and surpass every summit of the highest peaks, alive.
/ramblingmusings
^^I get nervous even climbing the ladder!
I am learning to be vulnerable, like cheekyfaerie, but it??s not easy to find the person who I trust to hold my heart in their hands??_
Not much to add, but to answer your question yes when you strip down all the excuses and get to the psychology of it, it's about protection.
The car salesman technique:
"If I'm similar to you, maybe you'll like me..."
"If I'm similar to you, maybe you'll like me..."
So from this thread I learnt this " you want a Scorpio to trust and give their heart to you, you then have to trust and give your whole heart to them with consistency and actions, no games, no lies, say what you want and he will most likely reciporate " that sounds too simple but true at the same time . I thought they like to chase !?
Posted by SunTauVenGem
So from this thread I learnt this " you want a Scorpio to trust and give their heart to you, you then have to trust and give your whole heart to them with consistency and actions, no games, no lies, say what you want and he will most likely reciporate " that sounds too simple but true at the same time . I thought they like to chase !?
Don't mistake the desire to be with someone that stimulates our senses and had a little mystery to them with wanting to engage with someone that is deceitful and immature. Big difference. Inconsistency, games, lies =/= "chase". At least not for me.
*has....it's like I'm typing with my toes. FFS.
Posted by everevolvingepithetPosted by Draumstafir
The car salesman technique:
"If I'm similar to you, maybe you'll like me..."
Nah, that'd cause eyes to narrow, even more soit they try those gaudy techniques where they tap or try to touch an arm whilst maintaining eye contact etc lolclick to expand
Well it's been my reason for mirroring lol. The only other time I do is if I'm losing control of myself in an argument. If my emotions spin out of control, I end up copying the other person, often to my own detriment! And no I have not yet been able to teach myself not to do this... it is so deeply hardwired. But that's a goal. Two hotheads in the same room is NOT a good idea. But conversely, if I'm arguing with someone who has a calming effect on me, the argument can turn into more of a soft banter than anything monumental. Calm people (not fake calm, because it's the undercurrents I'm reading) are very healthy for me.
Insight is the best repayment gift I can give to authentically calm people. From the few I've known so far, it's sort of a carefree spirit that enables their calm, and I like to keep them from walking into those hurtful situations that I can see a mile away. Even the nicest people have their limits.
in m opinion... it seems like they are mirroring, but its more like they have been waiting for the right person to show they have similarly deep down...
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