Why do guys cheat on pretty girls with an ugly one

This topic was created in the Scorpio forum by Aviigail on Sunday, January 8, 2012 and has 85 replies.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
So I've been married for 5 yrs. I like to think of myself as a good looking scorp. I'm tiny, thin, I don't have an ugly face. Yesterday I found naked pictures of my brothers baby's momma on my husbands phone. It was gross! she's fat!! With stretch marks all over her belly, and taller than a treetrucking tree lol it grossed me out specially because he would go there. My question is why would he go there if he has me? I'm very sexual so it's not like he doesn't get any here. I know she started everything, texting him and what not but why would he go along with it? He says he liked the attention she was giving him, idk. Now I am (believe or not) undecided to take him back... It's hard because we have a one year old son (no stretch marks here I can assure you!) && I've always felt envy coming from her, like she wants my life or something.. Always telling me how hot I am, how good of a husband I have, how sweet he was too me, he really was a good husband, he has always provided for us unlike my brother (no offense to him)But it's true. I felt a weird Vibe coming from her, It feels like she was trying to take my happiness. Now I'm stuck between my pride & letting her ruin everything for me. I know he has absolutely no feelings for her it was all about the attention he was getting. I just don't understand why? I am soooooo much better looking than she is & me & him have this great connection, why ruin it or risk all just for a little flattery?
first, Im sorry to see you hurt by this.
Next, infidelity (if there is some other than the pics) is not caused by a womans looks. He is not getting what he wants/needs from you, whether it be true or not, its his perception. If all you think you have to offer a man is your beauty, that alone could be the problem.
Posted by Aviigail
Yesterday I found naked pictures of my brothers baby's momma on my husbands phone. It was gross! she's fat!! With stretch marks all over her belly, and taller than a treetrucking tree lol it grossed me out specially because he would go there. My question is why would he go there if he has me?


Maybe because it's "inappropriate" and therefore exciting. No offense but just because you're goodlooking doesen't mean he can't get sick of looking at you. I mean just look at that skinny bitch Sarah Jessica Parker or any of those annoying "Desperate Housewives".
I think it has to do with "social norms", just like some people get excited seeing their mothers or sisters naked... it is inappropriate and therefore exciting. It's probably not her body he's excited about, it's the thought of seeing HER naked. My five cents....
Posted by Aviigail

It's hard because we have a one year old son (no stretch marks here I can assure you!)


lol, I can tell you're a Scorp by the illogical reasoning once under influence of emotions.... as if stretchmarks have anything to do with it. Get serious! A while ago I posted a story about a co-worker that I had a crush on, she just turned 30, down-to-earth-ishly good-looking, has three kids... well, I haven't seen her naked or even half-naked but three kids must have left some marks, yet right now I'd pick her over any other woman in my life.
So much for stretch-marks.... Winking
Go easy on her girls! This is what I was "ranting" about in my Scorpio-bashing thread a while ago, when everyone attacked me for pointing out how irrational and stupid Scorps can get once things get personal... and that they in fact DO possess a bigger ego than a Leo's Tongue
Seriousely though, I love Scorp chicks!
I don't know, but most times when men are cheating they seem to cheat down. Woman can be ugly to a point where they're embarrassed to admit it was her they cheated with/ slept with. Can be less successful, can be less established in life. I don't know. It would make me sad, hurt, and embarrassed as well.
Just a note : His cheating may have NOTHING to do with you. It doesn't mean you aren't beautiful, or a great wife. It's his own problem. Some do it for the thrill, and are greedy just want more of everything.
What prettyladii said. If he's "cheating down" it's probably because he's just looking for sexual variety. Been there... not quite done that, though.
It hurts more than you can imagine. I've been with this man since I was 14, I am 24 now... It just doesn't make sense to me. I didn't mean to offend anyone with the whole stretch marks comment but in all honesty those pictures were gross! I swear I look better naked than she does! I just feel that I would understand it a little more if it was done with some one much more attractive. She's not ugly but naked, the girl looks disgusting!!! He told me he thought so himself but then why risk loosing not just me but his son, his home?
Thank you prettyladii for a more serious reply. I didn't think that the fact that I think that the girl looks gross naked was irrational or stupid... Your comment makes a little more sense to me.
I'll post both of our charts in a bit.
His??
Sun- Aries. ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ??
Moon- Aries
Mercury- Pisces
Venus- aquarius??
Mars- libra
Jupiter- Scorpio
Saturn- libra
Uranus - sagittarius??
Neptune- Sagittarius??
Pluto- libra
Lilith- Sagittarius??
Asc. node- cancer
Mine
Sun- Scorpio
Moon- Sagittarius??
Mercury- Scorpio??
Venus- Scorpio??
Mars- libra
Jupiter- Aries
Saturn- Sagittarius??
Uranus- sagittarius??
Neptune- Capricorn??
Pluto- Scorpio
Lilith- ??Leo??
Asc. node- Aries
Thanks to this post I have this sudden permanents ympathy and compassion towards stretch marks
It's terrible to get cheated on and of course there's this need to destroy the other, however I think you're misdirecting your anger, minimizing your husband's responsibility in this and emphasizing hers. Every individual has qualities and defects, and reducing everything to the way she looks is just hiding your head in the sand. I'm sure you know there's much more to it than beauty. Christine Brinkley was the best model of her generation (not talking just pretty here) and still got cheated on, just to give an example.
Every time life puts you through something so tough it's trying to teach you something. Try to mature and react in the best manner you can think of.
Oh Aries. Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, is NOT a monogamous sign.
I'll quote here because I really feel for you. My mom was a Scorp, my dad - an Aries.
"when Aries is implicated, what this means in evolutionary terms is that the Soul is entering a brwnd new evolutionary cycle in general, and specifically in terms of sexual cycle. When Aries is implicated as a sexual dynamic, it is operating in an utterly instinctual way. In and of itself, it does not know what it desires specifically, other than a new cycle. In fact, it is wide open to any sort of experience. And, because of this new cycle impulse, it requires an elemernt of absolute freedom, in order to initiate whatever sort of experiences the soul so desires. It is in the reaction to the initiated sexual experience through which sexual knowledge is gained. Sexuality with Aries is very quick, and intense within that quickness. In other words, Aries is not given to long-drawn sexuality. The problem with Aries is that it is utterly self-oriented. It is going for itself, so to speak. And, because of the brand new cycle, when Aries is implicated, there are all kinds of instinctual attractions of all kinds of people. That is what happens in a new cycle. Do you see my point?"
"In any case, Aries in and of itself is not inherently monogamous. Nor it can be, because it is entering a brand new cycle. Now, how Aries can become monogamois, is when the two partners involved have an "Arian" attitude, meaning a mutual and absolute openness to sexual discovery, without prejudgment. Now, if two partners can be together with that attitude, then Aries can become monogamous, because the spirit of discovery and ongoing adventure is in place, relativeto that sort of dynamic in a relationship. "
Thought you can use these for reflection, helps knowing the material people are made of, sice there is a part of their wiring that doesn't change, this is what their soul needs and instinctually searches, so rather than hating, it may be a good idea to consider these factors in your long term plans.
My brother is fine!! He's actually happy he found a way to get rid of her. They werent married, she got pregnant and thought she could keep him and treat him like shit because they had a baby together she doesn't love him, thats why she went after my husband but my husband is too insecure and liked the idea that someone else found him attractive. My brother & I are closer than ever!! In fact he tells me that if there's a way that I can fix my marriage I should give it a try, I just don't think I can. I have her fat ass pictures in my head!! My husband keeps calling me asking me to forgive him telling he was being selfish, he needs me blah blah but I can't let it go. It's too nasty. Oh, it never went beyond the pictures and texts btw.
Recontructing a Leo- I understand I just don't think I can do that. May be I smurreded him? I'm way possessive & I guess that's not a good mix.
Bluemoon I hope you don't feel offended about what I posted with Aries and all. I actually happen to think that this orientation they have should be respected as such.
I looked at his Aries moon, not the sun, but to me, sun sign astrology isn't crap, it is just extremely sketchy, showing 20% of the whole picture.
Aviigail, it must hurt like hell so I'm trying to think what I'd do. Definitely withdraw, meditate, think things and by all means please resist the urge to hate and get revence since often times Scorpios get tested for loss and abandonement issues. And I believe this and any future situation will open opportunities for you to get the worst or the best of yourself out. Nobody has the answer. Cheating has been around, some marriages have resisted, some haven't, etc. Just that when you behave in such a manner that you don't feel proud and good you take something away from your own self esteem, something that could build a stronger future ego. Going to sleep sorry if I don't make sense
Thank you reconstructing a Leo!! I honestly don't feel the need to lower myself to revenge, she is not worth it, I would never lower myself and cheat on him!! This makes me better than both of them because I've been a good wife, I made him my all, I gave him my all && he is aware of that. I don't doubt he loves, I don't doubt he finds me much more attractive than her, we have this chemistry when we are together everyone that knows us sees it, she saw it, I just feel she had to have it. I just don't get why if you know you have a good thing going why fuck it up? But I guess it was in his nature.
Allienation- I'm not even taking your comments into consideration you would have to know us both. It hurts from both sides, she pretended to be my friend & care about me all the while going after my husband. Need I remind you we've been together for 10 yrs. married for 5 yrs. My brother and her were together for about 2... I never said she was ugly I just don't think I would be proud of my body if I looked like that.. Did you see her gut? That picture was taken 3 months after I had my son she was 9 months post pregnancy and she still has that same gut to this day 18 months post pregnancy. I remember I was ashamed of my body after I had my child. I would never send anyone pictures of my post-preg body if I still had all that weight on me. I lost A LOT of weight since that picture... The reason I'm so stuck on how she looks is because I would of thought a man cheats because the girl is more attractive than the girl he cheats on. They have nothing in common she's 19 very immature way more than you think I am!! He's just a perve I guess.
Posted by Aviigail
It hurts more than you can imagine. I've been with this man since I was 14, I am 24 now...


I'm pretty sure that's the whole problem there...?
She's 19, but you don't sound any more mature than that. Sorry to be so blunt, but you don't.
Maybe your guy has different standards of hotness than you do. Maybe he thinks fleshy girls are sexy. Maybe you aren't aware of this because he knows you would freak the fuck out if he ever said he was attracted to women who look different than you. You seem to equate thinness with hotness, and that right there is a problem and a sign of warped/ immature thinking. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12-14, probably bigger than the girl you're talking about, if she were a model today she'd be a plus-sized model, but is still regarded as one of the most beautiful women of the 20th century.
Maybe your husband doesn't give a shit about this girl's weight and stretch marks because he is attracted to her personality, humor, talent, character, etc. etc. etc., and therefore can easily overlook her physical "flaws" (as you see them).
As others have said, cheating isn't necessarily about looks, it's often about getting something from another person that you are not getting from your partner.
Dump the lying cheating sack of shit, dump the ex friend, and work on developing something to be proud of about yourself that has nothing to do with your appearance.
Firstly...he's a man. And obviously a curious one. If he has pics of her he's either asked for them or not refused when she has offered. Something tells me he has been chatting with her longer than one conversation/text and was working up to possibly cheating til you caught him out.
Out of curiosity, why were you snooping in his phone?
Incidentally, no one is that gorgeous that they won't get cheated on, that's as shallow as PP's comment!
Maybe your own attitude about yourself is why this chick is gunning to take you down a peg or two...
Man, ppl can be so mean. I'm trying best to cope with this, I just found out yesterday & if Feeling like I look better than the bitch gets me through the day so be it. A post doesn't tell you the whole story on who I am or how things went down. The only thing this thread proove was that ppl can be fucked up!! I didn't do the cheating, I've been faithful, did everything I could possibly do for this man, I was a good sister in law && for some reason I'm getting bashed here?!? Why would any of you defend a homewrecker??
He hasn't cheated.....yet...
But he might one day if in your next step you don't make him accountable for his actions.
I wouldn't throw away a 10 year relationship on a thought but I would make damn sure he came a begging you back with his tail between his legs!!

And the reason peeps here jumped on your tail is because of the way you worded your OP, you do come off holier than thou
There is a lot of good sound advice here!
Blows big kiss to EEE
Happy New Year smile
Fabulous so far Bling smile Going home in a couple weeks for a visit. How about yours? Hope you have a prosperous one...think we Leebs are coming through the dark stages!
Because they have better personalities. Fluff only goes so far.

Paul
Posted by everevolvingepithet
I've seen a spate of people noseying through other peeps phone etc, must be the in thing I guess.



If you suspected your significant other of cheating, you wouldn't go looking for evidence?
I am late but I had to comment, it's a well known fact man always cheat down and not up so this no surprise. 9 out of 10 when a men cheats the women will not be as beautiful, sexy, and classy or whatever as their current partner also me being a mother I have stretch marks and all that and I KNOW that I am beautiful so let's not call other names that not nice but I do understand that you are hurt. Men normally cheat because they are missing something in their personal life plus you have been together forever so you both have never experience anybody else which is why I think is the main reason for him to cheat. That's why I always tell teenagers and young people don't try to fall in love so young you need to experience other people and relationship to know what you really want
Did he have sex with her or was it just the pictures and texting?
Posted by ellessque
*stands in awe*
aries sun/aries moon/aqua venus.
I thought they were only a myth.


Lol Elle!
We are in the day where "sexting" is almost the norm. Your Aries husband probably felt flattered at all the attention this skank was giving him. Face it, men love to look at pictures of naked women. Regardless of how unattractive her body is, to him its different. The fact that she is your brother's baby mama and that she is trying to get with your man means I would never allow her at my family functions anymore. Only the child. She sounds like an emotional vampire. Trying to suck your energy, making your perfect life (as she sees it) hers.
Work on your relationship with your husband. Talk about it. He knows he was wrong. I doubt he waould be stupid enough to sleep with her. But, tell him that trust is everything and that he has to work hard to gain your trust back. If he doesn't make that effort, then you have to make your choice.
My parents were married for 21 years. My father left my pretty, petite mom for a toothless, heavy-set loud woman. But one thing I saw was that she thought my father was the best thing ever. She had his back, she defended him, and as selfish as it was, she was an excellent cook. She catered to his every need, served him like a slave. So, I guess that is the type of woman he wanted. They are still happily married may years later.
@Bluemoon: you shouldn't feel attacked, that was a quote describing an archetype, not your own behavior. Incidentally it's not a sung sign description, it's from mr. Green's Pluto School.
I do find it is different for Aries males and females and here's how. Aries females will apply that Mars energy to other pursuits such as raising more than one kid, being socially successful, pursuing other projects, however for males part of their validation IS to conquer and prove thenselves sexually. If that hasn't happen sufficiently or in due time, such as the case with the op, where the guy has been with the same women while being too young and inexperienced, well, the answer is easy to find.
What I wanted to emphasize is thar you cannot have the same monogamous expectations from an Aries (guy) or a Gemini as you have with other signs.
Posted by Kaleidoscorp
Let*It*Be is the only one that touched on this, so I'll take it a little further.


No... I touched on it. I introduced it. And then aquaj also touched on it.
It's not rocket science. It needs no lengthy explanations.
Aviigal,
After reading through the thread here, my question is this, maybe you should ask your husband if there is something he is unhappy about in this union with you? I know you think highly of yourself, and that is fine, but I think sometimes you should also try talking to your husband and find out why he's doing what he's doing. Don't yell at him, hear him out.
I hate to say it but it takes two to make a marriage work, especially when it comes to solving issues that's threatening it. You can't be egocentric, it doesn't work that way.
Kaleidoscorp - fair enough. I just wanted to point out that it has been mentioned.
But you are right - and you spelled it out well.
My own aries moon makes me go from 1 to 10 in the moment. haha I actually had no problem with your response aside from the lack of touching on that subject in the thread. My apologies smile
Posted by Reconstructing_a_Leo
Oh Aries. Aries, the first sign of the zodiac, is NOT a monogamous sign.
I'll quote here because I really feel for you. My mom was a Scorp, my dad - an Aries.
"when Aries is implicated, what this means in evolutionary terms is that the Soul is entering a brwnd new evolutionary cycle in general, and specifically in terms of sexual cycle. When Aries is implicated as a sexual dynamic, it is operating in an utterly instinctual way. In and of itself, it does not know what it desires specifically, other than a new cycle. In fact, it is wide open to any sort of experience. And, because of this new cycle impulse, it requires an elemernt of absolute freedom, in order to initiate whatever sort of experiences the soul so desires. It is in the reaction to the initiated sexual experience through which sexual knowledge is gained. Sexuality with Aries is very quick, and intense within that quickness. In other words, Aries is not given to long-drawn sexuality. The problem with Aries is that it is utterly self-oriented. It is going for itself, so to speak. And, because of the brand new cycle, when Aries is implicated, there are all kinds of instinctual attractions of all kinds of people. That is what happens in a new cycle. Do you see my point?"


Aries is a monogomous Sign just like any other sign when they want to be. I have never cheated and always been faithful in relationships. At the end of the day and the beginning too, anyone will cheat when they arent being fulfilled.
You sound very shallow first of all. I have to constantly remind my Scorp bestie that no matter how good she looks it doesnt stop a man from cheating or make him commit or what ever you want him to do. Not sure if this is a Scorp thing, but you kind of sound like her. Aries people to me arent that shallow and can find beauty in anyone, or at least an attraction, be it physical or personality. If you get past how the other woman looks, than maybe you can get to the root of the real issue, and it may be you.
I read further down where you called your husband insecure, so why would you want to be with him anyway? I dont think your husband insecurity is why he cheated, I think that is your way of wrapping your head around the situation(understandable). But be realistic girly, looks are only skin deep. Not trying to offend but you, yourself sound a bit insecure, all you talk of is your looks, her looks, is looks all you have going for ya self. NO! Look a lil deeper.
Posted by bluemoon9043834
Posted by Reconstructing_a_Leo
Bluemoon I hope you don't feel offended about what I posted with Aries and all. I actually happen to think that this orientation they have should be respected as such.




Actually, it did offend me. Because I am monogamous in relationships. Of course, I haven't been in a relationship, though, for 3 years. It's been great being single, loving myself, finding my happiness and me, and just being free. I have an Aries friend whose mother passed. Her mother was another Aries who was married to a Scorpio. Anyway, my Aries friend said... "my mother used to always say, "I had a few good years between marriages". Aries tend to be loyal, devoted, and monogamous to their partners. Unless severely provoked otherwise. Of course, you will find cheats in any sun sign group based on different aspects in the chart, though.
I don't respect what it said because I don't agree with its justification for determining a sweeping generalization on a sun sign. Fuck that.

click to expand


WORD!
Posted by Aviigail
Man, ppl can be so mean. I'm trying best to cope with this, I just found out yesterday & if Feeling like I look better than the bitch gets me through the day so be it. A post doesn't tell you the whole story on who I am or how things went down. The only thing this thread proove was that ppl can be fucked up!! I didn't do the cheating, I've been faithful, did everything I could possibly do for this man, I was a good sister in law && for some reason I'm getting bashed here?!? Why would any of you defend a homewrecker??


No one is bashing you. We are telling you our truth based on the info provided. Just read it and open your mind and be honest with yourself. You can gain alot of insight from this thread.
Posted by Fire-Water
Did he have sex with her or was it just the pictures and texting?


just pics and sexting.
Well, sice my Aries dad cheated on my Scorp mom, and my Aries ex cheated on me, I've seen enough Aries behavior for myself to form an opinion, and this, aside from the Pluto School material I quoted. The thread isn't about Aries though (yes I can imagine Aries women must be different). I'm sorry to see Aries girls are quick to grab the guns without reading an insightful analysis that author had. Still, the above is a factor so of course I included it as such, so that the OP considers it.
Scorps are also very quick to grab the revenge gun, I see this is a strong instinct. It's interesting to see how everyone reacts and a bit disappointing to note that the nature of the beast doesn't change..
Posted by bkbella86
Posted by Fire-Water
Did he have sex with her or was it just the pictures and texting?


just pics and sexting.
click to expand


At least he didnt have sex with her, what went on isnt great but he didnt take it to the next level. He might have been amusing himself with her. He had a moment of weakness and deserves a second chance in my opinion. As for me looks do matter but it doesnt when im looking to play around.
Posted by Kaleidoscorp
Posted by ellessque
Posted by Kaleidoscorp
LOL - Ellesque, I missed ya! You're one of the ones I came back to check on.


awwe. thanks smile smile
but don't mind me, i'm just mad because the full moon is in cancer and i don't have any cancer placements to use an excuse for anything Tongue


Now see, you had to go say you had no cancer placements. I guess you could use that as an excuse for everything???
click to expand


I have a cancer mars what does that mean?
Posted by aliennation
Seems I missed the part about her hacking into his phone.
aaaaaaaah omg I didn't even see that part. Good god. Her husband should've already filed for divorce.
Because of guys going through my phone in the past, I now always have my phone on lock - with a ridiculous long password no one could figure out because they're a random assortment of letters and numbers.
In fact, I won't even leave my phone with them, not even to use the restroom just in case - and also so he doesn't see snippets of incoming texts.
Thanks a lot, to all you morons who ever find it OK to intrusively invade someone's privacy like that. You Scorps of *all* people should know better than that.


No excuse for to invade, but he isnt a victim by no stretch of the imagination. If you get caught slippin while messing around shame on you. I myself dont snoop but if you do and you find something its fair game in my opinion.
Posted by aliennation
Because of guys going through my phone in the past, I now always have my phone on lock - with a ridiculous long password no one could figure out because they're a random assortment of letters and numbers.
In fact, I won't even leave my phone with them, not even to use the restroom just in case - and also so he doesn't see snippets of incoming texts.


Wow that's overdoing it a little, wouldn't you say? Winking
If I was in a relationshio with a girl like you I'd be very, very suspicious because I know the only time I'm that secretive myself is in fact when I have something to hide. *guilty*
My ex gf however never gave a crap about me knowing all her passwords and such, which is also why I completely trusted her. I think I just checked up on her once or twice, not because I thought something was fishy but because I was curious about whether or not I could learn something new about her.... :-/
Posted by Fire-Water

No excuse for to invade, but he isnt a victim by no stretch of the imagination. If you get caught slippin while messing around shame on you. I myself dont snoop but if you do and you find something its fair game in my opinion.


Mine too.
I really don't understand anyone who would suspect their partner is cheating (or doing anything shady behind their back) and just sit back and accept their lies because maintaining his "privacy" is so much more important than learning the truth. If I think my partner is doing something that could put my health or my life or my finances at risk, and I ask him about it and am not satisfied with his answer, you better believe I am going to look for evidence. Protect myself first, and not wind up like my cousin who sat there like a ninny buying her husband's lies that he wasn't cheating, and only found out the truth when he gave her a nice dose of genital herpes which she now has for life.
This the person you are swapping bodily fluids with, sharing finances with, the person who knows your most intimate secrets, and maybe have children with ... and you are not allowed to look at each other's texts? Really?
So you're gonna suspect your partner is cheating and lying to you about it ... and just sit there and *take* it? You are not going to try to find out the truth for yourself? Really?
Yup, I investigated and is what I like to call it haha...went off my gut. Glad I did too, thought he was messing around on me, and sure as day is light he was having an affair. In fact anytime I've gone off my gut and investigated? Ive been right.
Posted by OceanDeep
Yup, I investigated and is what I like to call it haha...went off my gut. Glad I did too, thought he was messing around on me, and sure as day is light he was having an affair. In fact anytime I've gone off my gut and investigated? Ive been right.


My then husband ^^^
Posted by OceanDeep
Yup, I investigated and is what I like to call it haha...went off my gut. Glad I did too, thought he was messing around on me, and sure as day is light he was having an affair. In fact anytime I've gone off my gut and investigated? Ive been right.


Same here.
You don't do anything behind my back that could hurt me, and you dont have to worry about me snoopin through your phone or anything else.
I never had a problem with my significant others looking through my "private" stuff, because I never had anything to hide from them.
Posted by PurrrrHissss
Posted by AutumnalChick
Protect myself first, and not wind up like my cousin who sat there like a ninny buying her husband's lies that he wasn't cheating, and only found out the truth when he gave her a nice dose of genital herpes which she now has for life.


OMG, I would kill him.
click to expand


My whole family would all happily kill him with our bare hands. He lives in fear of us ... and there are a lot of us, hahaha.
But yeah, now my cousin is single and trying to date, and once you drop the whole "I have herpes" truth on someone you are interested in, 90% of them run for the hills. It's so unfair. The only thing she did to deserve that was trust the lying asshole who was her husband at the time.
First
Previous
Next
Last