Selfish sex

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by VIS_lover on Wednesday, January 6, 2016 and has 28 replies.
A really good Libra friend of mine has been in a fwb relationship with a Taurus for a year. She's been asking me how she should approach him about how selfish he is in bed. Whenever they sleep together, he rarely makes any effort towards foreplay that involves pleasing her, but he loooves receiving. She has asked me how she should approach him about it. I'm at a loss because my Taurus has always been very selfless. Is there a nice way to tell a Taurus man that he's not satisfying a woman that will actually get results?
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She's been in this for a year and hasn't said anything yet........ I know it can be hard because you don't want to bruise an ego but has she tried just being direct with this is what I like route - maybe he doesn't even realize it. Has she been faking it with him?
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id bring it up.
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Posted by Nevermore
Posted by VIS_lover
A really good Libra friend of mine has been in a fwb relationship with a Taurus for a year. She's been asking me how she should approach him about how selfish he is in bed. Whenever they sleep together, he rarely makes any effort towards foreplay that involves pleasing her, but he loooves receiving. She has asked me how she should approach him about it. I'm at a loss because my Taurus has always been very selfless. Is there a nice way to tell a Taurus man that he's not satisfying a woman that will actually get results?

Did she told him direct about the sex problem?
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I think she wasn't very direct in her approach when she did mention it. She's tried telling him in her "sexy voice" lol but she feels like it went over his head. Her other concern is that if he was interested in pleasing her, wouldn't he naturally try to take care of her too. Thats my personal philosophy on men in general, if they want to they will...but i dont want to give bad advice, maybe some need to be told directly.
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Tell her to put whipped cream on her body and a cake on her pussy.

Foreplay will go longer.
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But yeah, with a FWB, selfishness is the game. Everyone is out to get the most satisfaction, with or without their partner.
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Did her boyfriend just come out from being a virgin or still new to sex?
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She has accepted this for a year? It's a fwb - move on and get a better one.
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Poor Libra. Ladies if you don't say anything, the guy is gonna assume that all is good.

Tell your friend to play the "who can last the longest game"

They take turns pleasuring the other. Whoever last the longest wins. But even if you lose you still win.
Winking

You never want to tell a dude he's not 'enough' or doing something 'wrong'. So I've found a little dirty talk goes a long way.

"Keep rubbing my clit like that, your making me so wet"

"Suck my nipples harder, fuck that's so good!"

Etc.



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Posted by LadyNeptune
Poor Libra. Ladies if you don't say anything, the guy is gonna assume that all is good.

Tell your friend to play the "who can last the longest game"

They take turns pleasuring the other. Whoever last the longest wins. But even if you lose you still win.
Winking

You never want to tell a dude he's not 'enough' or doing something 'wrong'. So I've found a little dirty talk goes a long way.

"Keep rubbing my clit like that, your making me so wet"

"Suck my nipples harder, fuck that's so good!"

Etc.





I'm sooo here for this advice! lol So detailed
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Posted by Gobshite
What the fuck does she need advice for? Either talk to him about it and/or find someone else.

It's not fucking rocket science is it? Bloody idiotic drama queen!

*smh*



She doesnt fear talkin to him about it...she wants advice on HOW to do it without being emasculating. The goal is not to belittle him, but to get results...and u should be easy on the name calling
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Posted by LuckyLibra979
Just be direct, tryna figure out a way will confuse things further. She feels he is being selfish, typical Libra thing to do is go around the issue to solve it which builds up anger and leads to either an unnecessary blow up or distance and lies. Both are unnecessary so she should just be open and direct and if he seems selfish still, then ditch him. There is no in between, she needs to get her needs met or let the bull go.


True
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Posted by VIS_lover
Posted by LadyNeptune
Poor Libra. Ladies if you don't say anything, the guy is gonna assume that all is good.

Tell your friend to play the "who can last the longest game"

They take turns pleasuring the other. Whoever last the longest wins. But even if you lose you still win.
Winking

You never want to tell a dude he's not 'enough' or doing something 'wrong'. So I've found a little dirty talk goes a long way.

"Keep rubbing my clit like that, your making me so wet"

"Suck my nipples harder, fuck that's so good!"

Etc.





I'm sooo here for this advice! lol So detailed

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Haha your most welcome.

If it was me, as a last resort, I would bring my toys into the picture. If he reaches for a condom instead of her clit she can whip out her vibe and put it to use. Should send the message loud and clear.

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Posted by Gobshite
Posted by VIS_lover
Posted by Gobshite
What the fuck does she need advice for? Either talk to him about it and/or find someone else.

It's not fucking rocket science is it? Bloody idiotic drama queen!

*smh*



She doesnt fear talkin to him about it...she wants advice on HOW to do it without being emasculating. The goal is not to belittle him, but to get results...and u should be easy on the name calling

She's still stupid and so are you for accommodating her shit. When you're both that dumb, you deserve to be called everything under the sun.

What, is she going to need to hold someone's hand, every time she has to deal with a relationship issue?

You both need to fucking grow up!
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You're a dickhead. Go be a troll elsewhere. This is a forum, it's for asking advice or are you too stupid to comprehend that? Who name calls someone for using a forum for wtf its used for. Be out
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Tell her to just show him and direct him on what to do in a sexual way or tell him direct. He's a man. They don't catch hints.

also LMBOOOOOO @damnata
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Posted by blackphase
I don't see how this is a friends with benefits situation if she is not receiving any benefit. If she doesn't want a relationship at the moment, I'd say time to find a new fwb.

Yup.
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Posted by Gobshite
Posted by VIS_lover
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by VIS_lover
Posted by Gobshite
What the fuck does she need advice for? Either talk to him about it and/or find someone else.

It's not fucking rocket science is it? Bloody idiotic drama queen!

*smh*



She doesnt fear talkin to him about it...she wants advice on HOW to do it without being emasculating. The goal is not to belittle him, but to get results...and u should be easy on the name calling

She's still stupid and so are you for accommodating her shit. When you're both that dumb, you deserve to be called everything under the sun.

What, is she going to need to hold someone's hand, every time she has to deal with a relationship issue?

You both need to fucking grow up!

You're a dickhead. Go be a troll elsewhere. This is a forum, it's for asking advice or are you too stupid to comprehend that? Who name calls someone for using a forum for wtf its used for. Be out

And your thread is pointless, hence why you're an idiot.

So, your Taurus friend has a problem with the Libra? JUST DISCUSS IT WITH HIM!

Sometimes, there's never an easy way to talk about things, apart from just saying what needs to be said. Obviously, that's far too bold for either of you spineless twerps to understand.

Is it THAT difficult for your brain to grasp? If you both truly represent the youth of today then heaven fucking help us all!


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If it's so pointless why are you here? Why are you replying to a pointless post? Why are there over 20 something people that have given sound advice? Let me make it as clear as day so you can understand cuz your dumb ass cant even read that its not the taurus that has the problem it's the libra. This is a place where people come to ask questions about how to deal with issues in a reasonable way beyond their own way of doing things. It's called perspective.But i know You just want to be a dickhead and I get that now. Im good...happily married for years and I'm much older than I look. I'm just here to get input from the rest of these lovely people for a friend smile ...good day dummy
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Posted by Honeybunniie
Tell her to just show him and direct him on what to do in a sexual way or tell him direct. He's a man. They don't catch hints.

also LMBOOOOOO @damnata

Makes sense
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@OP- Communication isn't all important no longer in a fwb situation. There's a contract verbally saying let's fuck whenever and anytime I call you. If you don't participate I'll find another fwb. And don't put emotions into it at all. The sex is just sex there usually isn't much foreplay.
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Posted by Gobshite
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by blackphase
I don't see how this is a friends with benefits situation if she is not receiving any benefit. If she doesn't want a relationship at the moment, I'd say time to find a new fwb.

Yup.

That's why she's fucking dumb and VIS_lover is no better...
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You still cant read because you're still saying my Taurus friend lol ...I give up. You're a sad excuse for a cap.

@Happycapper I think she said the sex part is decent. It's the foreplay part that annoys her. I definitely can agree that that's just as important tho and I've suggested she move on.
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Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
@OP- Communication isn't all important no longer in a fwb situation. There's a contract verbally saying let's fuck whenever and anytime I call you. If you don't participate I'll find another fwb. And don't put emotions into it at all. The sex is just sex there usually isn't much foreplay.

I can see that...maybe she needs to find a different guy. My old scorpio fwb was all about pleasing including foreplay and then we went our separate ways. I think she's looking for something similar, but if it doesnt change she's gonna have to move on.
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Posted by VIS_lover
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by blackphase
I don't see how this is a friends with benefits situation if she is not receiving any benefit. If she doesn't want a relationship at the moment, I'd say time to find a new fwb.

Yup.

That's why she's fucking dumb and VIS_lover is no better...


You still cant read because you're still saying my Taurus friend lol ...I give up. You're a sad excuse for a cap.

@Happycapper I think she said the sex part is decent. It's the foreplay part that annoys her. I definitely can agree that that's just as important tho and I've suggested she move on.
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That's the thing: she's not satisfied and if she has accepted this for a year, I don't think she can make him turn around that easily and since it's a fwb thing, I wouldn't even put in the effort. He might not even care to either, tbh,...and if he cared too much, maybe they shouldn't be fwb anyway...but for different reasons.
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One thing I notice since I started a relationship with a taurus man is that they do not take subtle hints at all. totally over his head. the key is to be frank and up front with them
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Posted by LadyGem86
One thing I notice since I started a relationship with a taurus man is that they do not take subtle hints at all. totally over his head. the key is to be frank and up front with them

I mentioned this to her as well. Especially since his venus is in aries and they tend to be very direct people. She says they have alot of respect for each other in their situation and she didn't want to come off rude. I'm gonna go with telling her to be as direct as possible and maybe show him what to do.
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Posted by Gobshite
Posted by VIS_lover
Posted by Gobshite
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by blackphase
I don't see how this is a friends with benefits situation if she is not receiving any benefit. If she doesn't want a relationship at the moment, I'd say time to find a new fwb.

Yup.

That's why she's fucking dumb and VIS_lover is no better...


You still cant read because you're still saying my Taurus friend lol ...I give up. You're a sad excuse for a cap.

@Happycapper I think she said the sex part is decent. It's the foreplay part that annoys her. I definitely can agree that that's just as important tho and I've suggested she move on.

That's how riveting your thread is...

It makes no difference what her star sign is - Taurus, Libra, whatever...

The problem is that you're accommodating her shit, when you shouldn't be. And the fact that you're here proves you can't even come up with the simple solution yourself. That's why you're just as dumb as her.

And don't be fooled by a Libra's innocent indecisiveness - it's all bullshit. If nothing else, Libra is probably the darkest (and most twisted) astrological sign out of the 12.
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You're still here keyboard warrior? Are you this mouthy in person? I would love to meet I have something nice for that mouth of yours smile
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i think conversations about sex shouldn't be had while your having it. either have it afterwards "when you did this drove me wild..."

or

well before. start the conversation along the lines of "is there anything more i could do? is there something you would like to try? what do you enjoy most? oh and by the way, this is what gets me going...do you think next time we could do this...."

putting it that way he won't be emasculated. she will learn more about what turns him on (making her better in bed) and she won't haveto rely upon subtle hints to get her...errm...fill.

it's not hard (pun intended).
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It doesn't matter if it's fwb or not.

Both fwbs I had were all about it going both ways. None of that selfish shit. And how sad is she that she's keeping a shitty fwb around? If sex was that bad, the fwb is over since the benefits part sucks ass and she's really not getting much benefit out of it. I think she's lying to herself about what this thing really is. It's not like she's in a relationship and has to broach the subject with the dude. It's casual sex. Not much to lose, so wtf is she so scared of?

It's obnoxious when people bitch about how bad sex is but don't do anything to communicate how to make it better. People can't fucking mind read during sex. All the blood is diverted to the crotchal region anyway, duh. Ain't no real thinking going on, so how the hell do you expect any sort of mind reading to happen?
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Posted by jeane
i think conversations about sex shouldn't be had while your having it. either have it afterwards "when you did this drove me wild..."

or

well before. start the conversation along the lines of "is there anything more i could do? is there something you would like to try? what do you enjoy most? oh and by the way, this is what gets me going...do you think next time we could do this...."

putting it that way he won't be emasculated. she will learn more about what turns him on (making her better in bed) and she won't haveto rely upon subtle hints to get her...errm...fill.

it's not hard (pun intended).

It can be done during, it's not really that difficult.

If he's doing something right, she can tell him so, and if he's doing something wrong, she can divert him away from whatever it is.

It does depend on what it is though. Like okay, that's a little too rough, push the hand/head away whatever and encourage something else. Or if he's doing something right, make it known with the sounds you make.

Of course, discussing before and after isn't a bad idea either, but encouragement/discouragement is doable during as well.
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