Taurus Guy needs Deciphering

This topic was created in the Taurus forum by QuestionableIntegrity on Sunday, May 12, 2013 and has 24 replies.
I have been lurking around for a while and finally decided to post. I will be as brief as possible.
About a month ago I met a Taurus man online, who just recently turned 29. I'm 27. We live across the country but have talked everyday since we have met, often for hours at a time. Everything is great between us, for the most part...we continually grow closer each day and I couldn't be happier, He has even said he wants to meet me in person a few times already. Well, last night he brought up the relationship talk which was mentioned once briefly when we first met that he's not looking for one anytime soon. Fast forward to last night where he's saying he can't go a day without me and said this exactly "I need you to know, i have placed you in my heart. Thats a permanent place. You will be there forever." I counter with I know what you want to say so why are you hesitating? His response "I just don't want you to take it as in "we are a couple who is committed to being together forever". He makes it quite clear how taken he is with me, we are even on eachothers profiles on the place we met, but it does not say we are in a relationship.
The more he reveals to me it pulls us closer but at the same time he keeps a distance. I never mention relationships or anything, I'm happy with how things are, he is the one who brings it up and says he's not ready. My question to all the lovely bulls is how should I proceed? I really like him, I care about him a lot and I can't imagine my days without him. I am happy to take things slow and don't want to rush things, contrary to what I normally do. I just feel a little confused, with his confessions and pullbacks. Is this typical behavior?
Here is his chart for reference if this helps:
Sun Taurus
Moon Virgo
Mercury Aries
Venus Taurus
Mars Scorpio
Thanks for taking the time to read this
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What is your moon sign?
Others? As in other interests? I outright asked him last night and he said he cares for his ex still but not the same way he feels for me and there is no one else. He is out of a 10 year relationship as of last November, he said he dated an older woman briefly on the place we met but the distance didn't work (among other reasons). This has been his reasoning for not wanting to jump into another relationship and I respect that.
I just don't know why he brought it up when there was nothing mentioned or hinted about it. Except, perhaps him saying he likes me a lot and thinks I may even be perfect. Of course I immediately told him I'm not.
Again it's the semi mixed signals that confuse me, I told him it confuses me and he said he's confused himself...
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My sun is Scorpio
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I don't know his ascendant, I haven't asked for his birth time yet.
He is a playful character, but I believe he is sincere when he says how much he cares for me. I can see he has many insecurities, but tries to hide it. Overall, he has been consistent and steady with his character, he has said he is loyal as f*** and has shown that thus far, and has said he can see it from me as well.
What is your take on it? Is this something you would say to someone? Have you felt conflicted the way he has?
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You're good..it does say sun opposition Saturn. But idk what that means....
He was in a relationship for 10 years, I know he doesn't have commitment issues. I think its more the distance than anything. But maybe you're right..maybe he isn't ready...but why talk about it than if you're not...
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Actually I did ask him why he brought it up he said cause he missed me so much and couldn't stop thinking about me
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Thank you for your perspective s4nd smile. I will have to read about sun opposition in Saturn to understand a bit better. He has shared many intimate things with me, not sexual things, but real personal things that have affected his life to extremes.
He is my best friend, but he is so much more than that to me. Everyday I patiently (or impatiently I should say) wait to hear from him, it's definitely the best part of my day!
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An update.
Today he told me loves me. In these exact words: I do love you. I just never say it because i don't want to give you false hope, thinking i want a relationship.
Those first few words made me so happy, followed by major disappointment...I told him I don't understand how he can love someone and not be with them.. he went on to say he doesn't know what else to tell me.
I have said nothing else. I don't know what to say. I wasn't asking for a relationship, but it upsets me that the option has been taken away despite him stating he loves me.

This hurts...
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And my ensuing silence is making him text me..
But truly, I have nothing to say...
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I too am a Scorpio woman. I have been with (First six months-year was FWB) a Taurus man for about 2 and a half years. My Taurus told me in the beginning (first six months to a year) he didn't want a relationship either... also volunteering the information. Not once did I ask him about what we were or where we were headed. He didn't really ever do the hot/cold thing to me. Not once did he disappear for more than a couple hours. After we were done hooking up(nearly every night), I'd say, 'I'm going home... Have a good night"
Now after scouring the last 13 pages of the Taurus Forum, I am pretty sure I am on to something. I am going to have to start a new thread about taking a life journey with a Taurus man. Damn, I went off topic, I think.
How about if you have any Scorpio to fellow Scorpio questions on a Taurus man... LOAD YOUR CANNON and fire at will smile
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RIGHT... Better finish that sentence....After we were done hooking up(nearly every night), I'd say, 'I'm going home... Have a good night". He would say, "Why would you go home? Just stay". And so on... This happened quite often (if not every time).
Sorry, I was trying to give useful advice, but it isn`t working today lol
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Actually, I would love to hear your in depth analysis on Taurus men smile please post away!
I'm anxiously awaiting your insight smile
Btw after not responding to his texts he called me, I answered and we talked on the phone for 2 hours. I got a really in depth explanation on everything. I told him he's the one that wants a relationship I have never mentioned it. He said I'm right, but it's the distance that has him saying no. Also he was in a relationship for 10 years that ended in November, she is a Scorpio, they are still good friends and he admits to caring for her a lot still, which doesn't bother me, I actually admire that. During the conversation he did state he does feel possessive and territorial of me...such a classic Taurus.
At this point I will just be myself and watch him continue to fight his head with his heart, eventually he will make a choice on his own time and I respect that. He did say he loves me again on the phone..makes me smile so big, I have not said it back.
Just wanted to fill you in on my current situation smile
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-_______-
He went from being extra exuberant all day, extra attentive to me seemed so happy. I take a shower and a few hours later he tells me his disappointing job path and is now depressed. He was so sad, there was nothing I could say to cheer him up. I told him that he can change, he said he knows but he is too stubborn and lazy to do so.
This morning I spammed him with some humor. He said he's been busy, he said he is in a idgaf phase... To which I responded I do give a f*** and I'm here for you like I always have been.
Now there is silence, either he is busy or avoiding me but most likely it's both.
I never knew Taurus could be so up and down, and I'm not sure how to act or react without setting him off.
So confounding.....
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At this point I'm really talking to myself but I have to let it out somewhere...
*heavy sigh*
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Up until this point I believed he was completely genuine. And now, I am not so sure.
The hot. The cold. The ups. The downs. Is pushing me.

He comes home from work and messages me after disappearing for a day. I am of course, ecstatic to hear from him. I say I want to hear your voice I miss it! He says he can't. The conversation that follows:
Him: I can't
Me: why not?
Him: Cuz she's here
Me: You're just hanging out together?
Him: Kinda..... Minus the talking part
Me: If you're not talking than what exactly are you doing?
Him: She's watchin tv..... Im talkin to you
Him: She doesnt like being at home
Me: She isn't asking who you're talking to? This doesn't make you feel awkward? I'm not even there and I feel awkward
Him: Lol.... No its not a big deal at all. But im sorry if you feel awkward. There is no reason to
Me: Well you talking to me makes me feel better, I can't do that with my ex, if I spend any time with him he's always asking to get back together, I only have my experience for comparison
And there begins the deflection away from his Scorpio ex of 10 years to asking me about my ex changing the subject entirely...about 30 minutes later he said he was going to take a nap which he often does. Which is now 3 hours ago and no word back.
I am now at the point where I feel like we are getting closer, we talk everyday and he means a lot to me. I am also beginning to feel like the Scorpio is a threat, for the simple fact that she is there and I am not, even though he has said he cares for her but not in the same way he cares for me.
I don't know if I should let this get to me but I'll admit I'm naturally a jealous person, I won't pretend to be someone I'm not. I don't know if I should be alarmed, worried or not even be thinking about it...
I don't know where we are headed, it's too soon to tell but I know I don't want to lose whatever it is we have.
This is all so perplexing...
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???Well, last night he brought up the relationship talk which was mentioned once briefly when we first met that he's not looking for one anytime soon.??
Hint #1.
???The more he reveals to me it pulls us closer but at the same time he keeps a distance.??
Caution. One could say it??s typical Taurus behavior. :-p
???I never mention relationships or anything, I'm happy with how things are, he is the one who brings it up and says he's not ready.??
Hint #2. He??s being upfront and clearly telling you that he??s not ready.
???I really like him, I care about him a lot and I can't imagine my days without him. I am happy to take things slow and don't want to rush things, contrary to what I normally do. I just feel a little confused, with his confessions and pullbacks. Is this typical behavior???
He does seem to be saying one thing and doing another. Take note of that. No, I wouldn??t say it??s necessarily typical behavior of any sign, including Taurus. However, it is something that I??ve noticed in many past threads, so...
???I outright asked him last night and he said he cares for his ex still but not the same way he feels for me and there is no one else.??
And yet...
???He is out of a 10 year relationship as of last November, he said he dated an older woman briefly on the place we met but the distance didn't work (among other reasons). This has been his reasoning for not wanting to jump into another relationship and I respect that.??
Hint #3. Out of a long relationship within the last year or so. Probably still in the process of "moving on". Briefly met someone else and distance ???didn??t work (among other reasons)??.
???Again it's the semi mixed signals that confuse me, I told him it confuses me and he said he's confused himself...??
Hint #4. Admits that he is unsure/confused. Take his word for it.
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"Overall, he has been consistent and steady with his character,..."
Hm, it doesn??t seem like it.
"He is my best friend, but he is so much more than that to me."
Hm? Best friend? Did I miss something? ::Goes back to first post::
"About a month ago I met a Taurus man online, who just recently turned 29 ..."
Nope. Didn??t miss anything. You only met one month ago, and you already consider this guy your ???best?? friend? I dunno about that...
"Today he told me loves me. In these exact words: I do love you. I just never say it because i don't want to give you false hope, thinking i want a relationship.
Those first few words made me so happy, followed by major disappointment...I told him I don't understand how he can love someone and not be with them.. he went on to say he doesn't know what else to tell me.
I have said nothing else. I don't know what to say. I wasn't asking for a relationship, but it upsets me that the option has been taken away despite him stating he loves me.??
And yet another hint/sign...
???I told him he's the one that wants a relationship I have never mentioned it. He said I'm right, but it's the distance that has him saying no. Also he was in a relationship for 10 years that ended in November, she is a Scorpio, they are still good friends and he admits to caring for her a lot still, which doesn't bother me, I actually admire that.??
Hint #... Well, whatever. He??s making excuses (and has a valid concern about distance), and again, the possible issue of still recovering from the past relationship (10 years with a Scorpio? You??re not gonna heal quickly after breaking up. :-p)
My $ 0.02: he??s emotionally unavailable, and you may want to consider disengaging. That might be difficult for you to think about, but look back at all the things that I noted. He may genuinely care about you, and perhaps want to pursue a relationship eventually, but at this point... Might not be ready.
Then again, I??m a stranger on the internet, so I can only judge by the information that you??ve provided. Ultimately, it is your decision (and his) to make.
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Thank you for your thorough analysis.
I am going to end this.
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Well, I tried to.
The situation with the ex does not sit well with me at all.
I said my peace, but I did not walk away.
Nothing has been resolved.
We are essentially in the same place we were before.
What a precarious situation I have immersed myself into indeed..
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It was never about winning or losing though...this was never a game for me...

I genuinely care for him
*heavy sigh*
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I know, you've been so helpful, thank you.
It just is hard when he says he loves me and can't lose me my happiness is the utmost importance to him (we have Saturn trine moon- he's saturn)
He said the only thing holding him back is the distance.
*takes a chill pill*
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Posted by QuestionableIntegrity
Well, I tried to.
The situation with the ex does not sit well with me at all.
I said my peace, but I did not walk away.
Nothing has been resolved.
We are essentially in the same place we were before.
What a precarious situation I have immersed myself into indeed..



Seems like you have legitimate concerns. Resolution doesn't always come easily, and progress can be arduous. Despite the precarious nature of your current situation, you know what you need to do in order to find a solution--it's just a matter of time.
Discuss what you want to discuss (if you're both willing to share); express your concerns (try not to turn it into overt 'confrontation'); take time by yourself to reflect and decide if you are okay with the way things are going, or say your piece (and, perhaps, end up walking away).
Like I said before, I had my own observations, but you're the one in this situation. Do what you think is best. ::Hugs::
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Some good news smile
We talked yesterday for most of the day after him being mostly MIA for the week. Busy with life and things.
I said to him we should meet in person, he said we already agreed to that. I said we should plan it, and he agreed. Nothing is set in stone but I asked him when and he said August or September after he completes his degree and finalizes his house purchase so he will have no distractions. I said that's perfect! And now I'm so excited!!!!
Even though we haven't been talking much lately due to his busy schedule that news makes me giddy.
Patience does pay off after all smile
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Posted by Amjaro
Posted by QuestionableIntegrity
Well, I tried to.
The situation with the ex does not sit well with me at all.
I said my peace, but I did not walk away.
Nothing has been resolved.
We are essentially in the same place we were before.
What a precarious situation I have immersed myself into indeed..



Seems like you have legitimate concerns. Resolution doesn't always come easily, and progress can be arduous. Despite the precarious nature of your current situation, you know what you need to do in order to find a solution--it's just a matter of time.
Discuss what you want to discuss (if you're both willing to share); express your concerns (try not to turn it into overt 'confrontation'); take time by yourself to reflect and decide if you are okay with the way things are going, or say your piece (and, perhaps, end up walking away).
Like I said before, I had my own observations, but you're the one in this situation. Do what you think is best. ::Hugs::
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::hugs:: thank you for your wonderful advice! We have discussed things and I now understand that Taurus are simply slow, and I simply need to slow down.
I have a good feeling about this smile
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