Grrrrr. When will these emotions end!
This topic was created in the Virgo forum by scorpio24 on Tuesday, May 14, 2013 and has 17 replies.
So The last 2 weeks we decided to just take things slow, not have much contact and see eachother maybe once a week to try find a friendship first. We promised eachother we wouldn't talk to any girls or boys cause it would only confuse the situation more. After him balling his eyes out to me and apologising for treating me so bad, what does he do 2 days after? He goes and inboxes this girl he hasn't spoken or seen in 3 years. All it said was "hey 
" and she didn't reply but I do know she was keen for him when me and him were together at one point but that's when he loved me alot so he shoo-ed her away. Anyway, so Saturday night I spent time with him and it was ok.. The way he was talking to me etc was extremely arrogant like it usually is, so I was responding in a calm and collect way and was rolling my eyes. Long story short, we had only a couple of drinks with out friends and went back to his house. I was petty much sober but still would have been over the limit so I ended up staying at his house. I offered a couple of times to go sleep on a mattress down stairs, and he laughed cause he clearly wasnt going to make me do that. Anyway, so he was cuddling me to begin with and that was nice I didn't mind but then as soon as he started trying to kiss me and have sex with me I made it very clear that I was NOT having sex with him cause I don't want to be his little sex buddy when he isn't even sure if he wants to be with me or not. He tried a few more times saying "it's not like that, it would be fun, don't think of it like that" and I was like lol "no, I know ill feel like shit after. It's not happening" anyway, we fell asleep and in the morning he was trying to cuddle me and kiss me on the face and stuff and I decided to bring up the girl he messaged after r promised he wouldn't talk to anyone else coz he wanted to "sort us out" I was calm and said "why don't u try these moves on jaylene" he immediately stopped and I told him how I knew etc but I didn't make a big deal out of it although I secretly wanted go punch him in the dick. Anyway, I then said "do you want to be with me
Or not. Yes or no, I'm sick of you forever analysing and stringing me along forever" he just sat there and was in deep thought and wouldn't answer the question until I finally said "I shouldn't even have to ask u these types of questions. If u wanted to be withe u would make it happen and u would try harder to be better" I then said "we are done, I'm finished" I was gathering my thing
" and she didn't reply but I do know she was keen for him when me and him were together at one point but that's when he loved me alot so he shoo-ed her away. Anyway, so Saturday night I spent time with him and it was ok.. The way he was talking to me etc was extremely arrogant like it usually is, so I was responding in a calm and collect way and was rolling my eyes. Long story short, we had only a couple of drinks with out friends and went back to his house. I was petty much sober but still would have been over the limit so I ended up staying at his house. I offered a couple of times to go sleep on a mattress down stairs, and he laughed cause he clearly wasnt going to make me do that. Anyway, so he was cuddling me to begin with and that was nice I didn't mind but then as soon as he started trying to kiss me and have sex with me I made it very clear that I was NOT having sex with him cause I don't want to be his little sex buddy when he isn't even sure if he wants to be with me or not. He tried a few more times saying "it's not like that, it would be fun, don't think of it like that" and I was like lol "no, I know ill feel like shit after. It's not happening" anyway, we fell asleep and in the morning he was trying to cuddle me and kiss me on the face and stuff and I decided to bring up the girl he messaged after r promised he wouldn't talk to anyone else coz he wanted to "sort us out" I was calm and said "why don't u try these moves on jaylene" he immediately stopped and I told him how I knew etc but I didn't make a big deal out of it although I secretly wanted go punch him in the dick. Anyway, I then said "do you want to be with meOr not. Yes or no, I'm sick of you forever analysing and stringing me along forever" he just sat there and was in deep thought and wouldn't answer the question until I finally said "I shouldn't even have to ask u these types of questions. If u wanted to be withe u would make it happen and u would try harder to be better" I then said "we are done, I'm finished" I was gathering my thing
I was gathering my things and then sat on the bed and began crying, he was kind of comforting me but not that much,
He then said "I don't think you should give up on me yet" and I was like
"Are you serious??? I have tried and tried and tried with you and given u so many chances and you have shown me
ZERO proof that u are willing to try change" and then he didn't say anything coz he knew I was right so he went downstairs and then after 4 mins I went home. As soon as I got home I get a message saying "I'm sorry! I'm fucked in the head I know!" I didn't write back and
Then that night he sends me this: "_???I feel so empty, loveless n not a good person, i dnt kno why iv gotten this way but im so sorry for the hurt ive caused u i duno wats wrong with me huh but i need to work myself out, work out who i am n wat i want in life! Ive always tried to hard to by liked coz i never felt i fitted in or was loved n iv lost perspective of who i realy am!
Ur a beautiful person u deserve much better ??_"
I didn't write back. So I haven't heard from him since, for 2 days. I'm more confused but also quite sad he is possibly talking to that girl now. Doesn't help that she is very stunning. But she is also a bit of a slut and has slept with many of his friends and loves the night life and takes lots of cocaine. All things that he hates in a girl so I know it wouldn't go any further then sex, but it still really hurts
He then said "I don't think you should give up on me yet" and I was like
"Are you serious??? I have tried and tried and tried with you and given u so many chances and you have shown me
ZERO proof that u are willing to try change" and then he didn't say anything coz he knew I was right so he went downstairs and then after 4 mins I went home. As soon as I got home I get a message saying "I'm sorry! I'm fucked in the head I know!" I didn't write back and
Then that night he sends me this: "_???I feel so empty, loveless n not a good person, i dnt kno why iv gotten this way but im so sorry for the hurt ive caused u i duno wats wrong with me huh but i need to work myself out, work out who i am n wat i want in life! Ive always tried to hard to by liked coz i never felt i fitted in or was loved n iv lost perspective of who i realy am!
Ur a beautiful person u deserve much better ??_"
I didn't write back. So I haven't heard from him since, for 2 days. I'm more confused but also quite sad he is possibly talking to that girl now. Doesn't help that she is very stunning. But she is also a bit of a slut and has slept with many of his friends and loves the night life and takes lots of cocaine. All things that he hates in a girl so I know it wouldn't go any further then sex, but it still really hurts
What a Bastard, LOL...Emotions do suck, and I threw away a lot of people out of my life because the relationship didn`t suit me, even if I loved them, and yes it hurt like hell, but I know what I deserve, and you should too...Just tune him out and focus on you, Don`t let some guy who doesn`t know what he wants do this to you
Posted by MellyMel909
How do you know he messaged another girl? Were you checking his Facebook again?
no, i just know. how it not relevant.
Lol...smfh...
oh dont worry, i know he's not good for me. but i just wish i could understand his motives sometimes. i have stopped communicating with him, i did not reply to his message. and about an hour ago he tried starting a conversation with me on facebook chat. i did not respond/ not going to. but wtf is he doing? when i broke up with him i said "please dont try contact me"
and so your drama continues ... at your bidding of course, because your life is actually your choice
This is really pathetic .... you've been perpetuating this for months, and pretending to be innocent.
Rest assured that just because people who have been following aren't talking ... they are here reading this and nodding their heads.
You stopped being an innocent party probably about 100 emotional manipulations ago
Rest assured that just because people who have been following aren't talking ... they are here reading this and nodding their heads.
You stopped being an innocent party probably about 100 emotional manipulations ago
smh! Nobody ever wants to listen to me...
Ive heard so many guys use the "im so fucked up in the head" "you deserve better" etc shit....it all means the same...he wants you to feel sorry for him, so he can again keep you around for sex...while/until he finds someone else. Which clearly hes is working on it (the other chick) It was over for him the first time...and a lot of it has to do with your over emotional manipulative behavior...and instead of being a mature adult and accepting the break up...youre still trying to manipulate and control him and the situation to get what you want...which is not going to work or work for long.
Hopefully you learned a lesson..mostly likely not though
*im giving my two cents whether op still has me blocked or not*
Ive heard so many guys use the "im so fucked up in the head" "you deserve better" etc shit....it all means the same...he wants you to feel sorry for him, so he can again keep you around for sex...while/until he finds someone else. Which clearly hes is working on it (the other chick) It was over for him the first time...and a lot of it has to do with your over emotional manipulative behavior...and instead of being a mature adult and accepting the break up...youre still trying to manipulate and control him and the situation to get what you want...which is not going to work or work for long.
Hopefully you learned a lesson..mostly likely not though
*im giving my two cents whether op still has me blocked or not*
One day you will realize how important you are an you will focus all your energy on you, on becoming a better person, I really hope one day you will say hey I want to find myself and be happy. What you were doing before was lying to the Virgo and especially to yourself, pretending to be strong, mature and logical when you are an emotional mess, you were pretending to be someone you are not in order to manipulate a guy into loving you...
One day your "emotionally damaged" Virgo, as he likes to describe himself now will run into a strong, secure, happy and confident girl, she will treat him like any other guy and not like a deity, she will care more about her life than his, he will only be a part of her life that she enjoys an not HER WHOLE LIFE, an when that happens he will fall head over heels for her, his emotional problems will cease to exist, he will want to be with her because she makes him happy, they will have time to enjoy each other instead of he feeling he has to tend to her emotional need, the Virgo will become the perfect boyfriend bc he will know that the minute he starts giving her BS she could walk away, she has no fear and he will know it, she will keep him on his toes and he will love every minute of it...
What a royal waste of time and energy...
One day your "emotionally damaged" Virgo, as he likes to describe himself now will run into a strong, secure, happy and confident girl, she will treat him like any other guy and not like a deity, she will care more about her life than his, he will only be a part of her life that she enjoys an not HER WHOLE LIFE, an when that happens he will fall head over heels for her, his emotional problems will cease to exist, he will want to be with her because she makes him happy, they will have time to enjoy each other instead of he feeling he has to tend to her emotional need, the Virgo will become the perfect boyfriend bc he will know that the minute he starts giving her BS she could walk away, she has no fear and he will know it, she will keep him on his toes and he will love every minute of it...
What a royal waste of time and energy...
i don't know, but things like promise you won't talk to another girl or boy would drive me nuts. not that i will not be jealous/upset/angry/fighting/arguing over it, but someone saying to me do not do this, will not go down well with me. you do/act the way it is right for you as a couple to act. but verbally setting restrictions i don't think anyone will take them seriously or follow them. you have every right to be sad or upset if he wrote to that girl, and you did what you wanted to by mentioning it to him, but he will not stop contacting others because of any promise.
Posted by memyself
i don't know, but things like promise you won't talk to another girl or boy would drive me nuts. not that i will not be jealous/upset/angry/fighting/arguing over it, but someone saying to me do not do this, will not go down well with me. you do/act the way it is right for you as a couple to act. but verbally setting restrictions i don't think anyone will take them seriously or follow them. you have every right to be sad or upset if he wrote to that girl, and you did what you wanted to by mentioning it to him, but he will not stop contacting others because of any promise.
i didnt make him promise i said to him "do you think its a good idea for neither of us to talk to other people while we try sort this out" and he replied with "yeah i think thats a good idea"
ANYWAY...
i have not contacted him once, you can all think whatever you want but i truly honestly AM finally trying to just move on hence why i have not replied to any of his attempts at conacting me etc. i do want to show you his message he sent me today:
"I think one of the bigest flaws in our relationship was me trying to still be so independant, i didnt let u in! Guess i was to afraid if being hurt!
We never realy developed into a proper relationship i feel, we both had good morals but i feel like i was living the relashionship like it was only going to be temporary!
Ther could hav been a lot more sharing n caring involved and i should hav been more romancing n lovey dovey things wich are all things i realise now i miss doing! I kinda knew b4 but now im realising all the good things we had n could of had and i feel a lot of regret!
I also realise now that i needed some space, i felt trapt in a way n needed time away from u to help me realise what i had with you! Me n u were pretty tight at one point!
Uve been on my mind non stop the last couple days and i cant help but think that our jorney together was ended far to soon! I think if i pulled my head in we could have had a great life together!
Part of me wants to chase u down n tell u i love u n that i need u n want u back n the other side of me wants to love u n let u go!
Towards the end ther the past few weeks i kno u tried so hard n ur heart was under so much strain, i feel so bad!
I want u to kno u havnt done anything wrong and that ur perfect the way u are, u dnt need a better job or bigger boobs or any of that shit
continues..."any of that butter u jst need to be awsome, loving, caring self and just be you!
Pretty safe to say i miss u now hey, and im so confused with what i want, i still feel like im holding back with the way i feel/felt!
I was wrong to try talking to jaylene after i said i wouldntnt talk to girls n i honestly fely so bad/ guilty when i sent that msg i wanted to take it back!
It gasnt even crossed my mind yet to start talking to other girls since jst dosnt feel right!
I realy hope u dnt block me out of ur life n that we can be civil about this!
I hope ur doing well ??_"
Pretty safe to say i miss u now hey, and im so confused with what i want, i still feel like im holding back with the way i feel/felt!
I was wrong to try talking to jaylene after i said i wouldntnt talk to girls n i honestly fely so bad/ guilty when i sent that msg i wanted to take it back!
It gasnt even crossed my mind yet to start talking to other girls since jst dosnt feel right!
I realy hope u dnt block me out of ur life n that we can be civil about this!
I hope ur doing well ??_"
Hey Scorpio24, are you an October Scorpio?
Well, he seems to love you, but he's not sure that's what he needs right now. He's a bit of an idiot and he's scared of committing basically. Just ride it out, don't say anything till you have something to say. Wait and see what happens and what else he realizes. The fact that he's talking in the past tense (i.e. could, should, would) is confusing and worrying you, as if he's given up on the relationship, but I think he's writing that way as a protective measure. I don't think he really wants things to end, and I don't think he just wants sex from you, unless it's an expression of love.
Well, he seems to love you, but he's not sure that's what he needs right now. He's a bit of an idiot and he's scared of committing basically. Just ride it out, don't say anything till you have something to say. Wait and see what happens and what else he realizes. The fact that he's talking in the past tense (i.e. could, should, would) is confusing and worrying you, as if he's given up on the relationship, but I think he's writing that way as a protective measure. I don't think he really wants things to end, and I don't think he just wants sex from you, unless it's an expression of love.
Okay so I didn't write back and now he's blowing my phone up!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!
He used to tell you that you needed a better job and bigger boobs!?!?..... I would have said yeah and I ALSO need a better boyfriend and then dumped his sorry ass on the spot but nope you waited for him ro dump you.... SMH
Damn straight.....
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