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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
I'm with partner now, or at least dating....the strangest thing is, that I don't even really have any feelings about any of it....My parents are concerned that I'm going to die without knowing 'true love' and to which I retort, 'get a hobby, and mind your own buisness' I'm notoriously private when it comes to my feelings, and general relations with others; the less that people know about me the better I feel becuase I can remain detatched, without needing to be so emotional; I just want to know; am I broken, or just a Virgo? I've been talking with this chick for like 2 days now, and I don't really even feel like being around her, but then again I don't really care to be around anyone. I'm a hermit, and I don't know how to love/express myself with others....any help?
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Nov 14, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 819 · Topics: 41
Geez you're only 18, still a kid. Tell your parents most guys get married at 40 and you've got plenty of time.
When I was 18, I wasn't dating anyone either. You're just a kid...are you an only child or something? Is this why your parents are still nosing into your private life?
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
no I am not an only child; just the more 'interesting' of the two; my parents want to figure me out, my sexuality, personality, everything; they don't like to leave things in the dark; I don't share anything with them, and that's how I like it. I don't open up about everything, and don't like to involve even family in my personal affairs; I'm not a very trusting person.
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
I SUPPOSE from the parental stand point they do this becuase they 'CARE'. My father is obsessed with figuring me out; most scorps/people in my life are....they feel I am 'hidding' something if I'm not talking, becuase I appear erriely calm, and unbothered.
VirgoEx, please do not take offense but I want to point something out... By any chance is there a possibility that you may not be all heterosexual?
Just reading between the lines of some of your posts I wonder. Hey, do not answer me, but think about it if there is some true to that, and go with what your heart tells you.
I hope I did not hurt your feelings, it was not my intentions.
I sometimes say I have a 7th (yep, 7th and not 6th) sense, but then you and others here may think I am full of butter, which I am not.
My line of work, makes me read between the lines, that is all. 
PS I hope I don't get any crap for this post, it is not ill intended! "...Geez you're only 18..."
Yes, that should sum up the whole situation.
You are only 18 years old!!
Don't worry so much about this right now...
Those things will come naturally to you
maybe not right now but sometime in your life it will.
whether you think you're cold hearted person or not,
you will see... but now is just too early to decide on anything.
When you meet your "the ONE" you will change your mind.
Don't worry, be happy!
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Dec 06, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 795 · Topics: 11
VE!! DUDE! DO NOT. I REPEAT! DO NOT OPEN UP!! You have your moon in FREAKIN CANCER. MINE IS IN SCORPIO.
If you are not prepared for heart break, DO NOT OPEN UP! It hurts like freakin hell..
These people don't know how it feels with the moon in these signs..
Every time I risk it..even it you get a flipping sign from the heavens ...even if it makes sense for you to be with someone, I don't care..do not make yourself vulnerable at any cost!
However, if you are ready for some serious growth..then go for it, but never try too hard. I repeat NEVER try too hard. If you are trying too hard then you're blinding yourself.
lol..Just remember, YOU are ALWAYS important, before anyone else. And definately be open-minded when you go into one...very very open-minded..
Remember, in the end, all you have is yourself.
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Dec 06, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 795 · Topics: 11
**Remember, in the end, all you have is yourself, regardless of any truth in this universe.
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
in order for my feelings to be hurt ESCORPIANA, I'd have to be in touch with them!! lol
and that would imply sensitivity, and that could in turn imply bisexuality; I'm tolerant of other ways of life, but that isn't one I see for myself, I've questioned it, but I know I'm actually not either; I feel nothing for either gender, and that's the problem, I'm too tolerant of others, I have to get used to the idea of sharing mental/emotional space with others. but ...the idea of having a PERSON near me trying to pry me open emotionally/mentally not only sets my alarms off, but makes me feel threatened. I think it's kind of funny that you think that though; most Scorps think I'm bi lol hehhehe.....Yeah, I break alot of heartz lol.....
RC, it's not so much heartache, I'm afraid of or ill-prepared for, just that I am numb; I've been trying to generate feelings for others, and I just come up with more answers, and no feelings. It's frustrating not being able to get back in touch with your feelings when they've been estranged from you. Signed Up:
Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
btw ESCORPIONA, what makes you think I am? I'm curious, and my curiosity tends to get the better of me at times, so what is it? My sensitivity, my flipant, yet elequent style for dialogue? lol You've pushed my crazy personality button.....I blame you for what comes next! lol 
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
also, I could just like being center of attention.....by keeping secretive, you 'draw' in attention; someone is bound to want to unravel you....lol I don't know I just keep to myself as a survial mechanism and nothing more....I swear!
not everyone will find true love. i wish you well ve. Give yourself the opportunity to open yourself to true love and love will find you.
take it from me, a fellow virgo that lives with the same detachment. You're better off not worrying about relationships, they're just not for us virgos. Sure they're nice because of the sex that goes along with them, but the emotional investment isn't worth the dissapointment. BTW, i'm only a 20 year old virgo so i'm not at my fully evolved virgoan form yet but from where i stand, i see us virgos settling down with a perfect mate no matter how long we have to wait. We just wont settle for the typical money hungry, vanity vindicating, skank sleeze bag ho so many guys wind up with...lol, and you sound like me, so i'll bet that you feel special with your virgoan powers. I know i do, i kick ass at lots of things with my virgoan intellect/analytical skills. If you want love, find love in the game. It's all about competition, fighting your way up the skill tree.
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Dec 06, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 795 · Topics: 11
You're numb, VE? Well Hallelujah, PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Please, stay that way!!
It'll only do you good, you're not missing out on anything!!! 
If you could care less about her then you should probably do her a favor and allow her to move on to someone who will....UNLESS you both have the same outlook....then its all fair game and no one should get hurt.
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Nov 27, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 1914 · Topics: 139
Yea I understand where you are coming from VE, I sometimes feel the same way. I am also a "young virgo", only 20. I at times feel detached in relationships. It's hard to open up my emotions to others, in particular significant others. It takes a while to, but as I am getting older it is becoming easier. There were plenty of times where relationships did not really appeal to me and I'd rather just be single, but deep down inside I did want to be with someone (I know a mix contradictions!)
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
Being numb is actually a horrible feeling; I've always looked at everything logically, and announced my emotions from this standpoint, but I never can say that I've ever had the pleasure of 'being in touch with my emotions'....I've often wondered; 'is this life?' thinking, and always being detatched; as if I have no choice....I try to warm up but I just get cool.....I see no point in hooking up, yet there are times where I would like to....but what if I feel 'fenced in?' what if I want to be free and I come off as indecisive? I pride myself on the fact that once I make a decision it's one I keep to, but this is REMARKABLY hard. I'd like to just be a youth and have crazy misadventures with my friends, and give into temptation, but my will and wisdom are too damned strong! Being as mature I suppose as I can be I see through pretense, and that makes being with someone all the harder; If I have perfection, I stop searching; If I don't I feel the pangs of disspiritedness settling in; it's crazy really....I'm a real Iceberg; I sunk the titanic lol.
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
We are such contrary folk....I'd like for it to be simple, but this is all anything but.....I mainly recieve pressure from my father; he's the one most interested in my personal life becuase he has no access to it, but I think he's indirectly questioning my sexual prefernece, and I really don't have an answer for him becuase I haven't gotten 'used to' that part of myself; and why would I open up to an 'enemy'? He'd exploit me and pal around with me until he found it within his rights to use it against me; So I use logic as my way of dealing with madness....
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
Capgirl:Could be either asperger's syndrome or a massive emotional shock in childhood. A lot of men are like this and don't really have any good reason for being that way. Usually caused by childhood conditioning which made them interpret emotions differently from others. Some people are also asexual and are more cerebral than passionate. Sounds like you have too many people around who won't leave you be to figure yourself out. 18 is a particularly painful age. Life gets easier when you get into your twenties. Try not to worry about all this now - you have plenty of time for love.
Amazing....actually this isn't half bad data....I don't care how hard life is, I'm esentially an optimist even if my personality dosen't protray it upon first glance....My main problem is KEEPING warm feelings for my lover; I find someway to 'fall out of love' be it logic, or just lack of a better thing to do....I want to have more staying power in the matters of romance, or perhaps I just really want to search a bit....
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
I'm actually embarassed about all of this; I actually can't communicate my feelings effectively, without detatchment....sheesh; I don't mean to make it sound like I'm beating down on myself, but sheesh; what type of self-respecting human sign can't express their feelings.....this pisses me off severly. It's a weakness, and that I'm intolerant of.
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Nov 14, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 819 · Topics: 41
VE,
Do you have the Virgo desire to serve people? You may consider being a priest. Don't laugh. Almost every priest at my church is a Virgo, and they are some of the nicest, sweetest people I know, and very comfortable with their celibacy.
Put your energies into your career, and stop worrying about what you are *not* -- explore and develop what you *are*, and all will be well. God prepares you for the next step bit by bit...you don't have to know the whole story all at once (which is such a common mistake young people make)...just do your passion and your life will *unfold* -- I promise you!
You need to stop worrying about what your parents think...and they need to get off your back! Their job is done! Time to go on that cruise...
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
Yeah, a priest that takes a likein' to the late night/early mornin' confessionalz.....lol heheheehe
*cough! Adjusts throat* You told me not to laugh...sorry....anyhow Yes I did actually. Not actually to 'serve' but more to 'lead' to 'inspire' and give hope to people; I figured I wanted to be able to restore hope in people, yet how can I do that if I'm not sure what my hope lies in? I know it's sappy but I haven't given up fully on people yet....I don't really put myself on the 'first to serve and break my back' list; I'm a little too ego driven to 'serve' anyone, but myself, but the idea of actually contributing to a better cleaner world seems to have it's percs!! Maybe I'll join green peace, and save a whale 'er two?
lol Signed Up:
Dec 06, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 795 · Topics: 11
remember when I use to tell myself similar bullbutter so I didn't have to focus on my total inability to relate to others, or my overwhelming cowardice when it comes to taking emotional risk. Eventually you wake up and realize life passes you by, and what you have rationalized as a strength is a weakness. Pain is a natural, everyday, and sometimes healthy part of life. It is how you deal with it that makes you strong. But dealing with it like a total coward, well you tell me what that makes you.
lol. Oh trust me, I deal with it everyday. I don't need to be hurt several times to get the point, sweetie.
Some people do though. Because they're stubborn, ignorant, selfish, or lack brain cells, either one or all of the four..
the remark I made was sarcasm. You'd know if you read my previous post to VE. Where I said unless you desire some serious growth, don't go into it.
Everyone else is telling him to not open up this early in life. Read everyone's posts.
Besides, I desire growth, don't need humans to coax me. I have a natural desire to help you all. Even in my relationships in the past. I just ended up feeling pity. It only pushed me closer to the one I really needed to have a relationship with, which is Jesus Christ.
Trust me, you have a relationship with him, then you've found your true love. Literally. He coaxs me, he is the one who never fails me, he is the one who puts me through the fire, so he is the one I put FIRST in my life. Everytime I took my heart off him, I failed miserably. And yet he turns my bad into good.
You all don't know what you're missing out on. But our human nature gravitates toward evil all the time. We never get enough discipline. Yet, the only thing that seems to never go away in humans is that void. The void of what? Earthly longing? What? temporary longing..or is it eternal longing?
Why do we have an eternal longing?
hmmmmm
Dust of the earth, filled with an eternal longing..amazing isn't it.
I've always wondered why people like this don't say single...especially since they are always talking about how great it is to be alone in the first place. It sure would make things a lot easier and waste less time for the more relationship oriented people out there who don't have a problem in this department.
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Nov 14, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 819 · Topics: 41
VE,
I think it is beautiful that you *do* have a desire to help the world in some way. Follow that desire!
Did you try praying to God for discernment? He knows your eternal past and future and has a good insight into you *chuckle*...that's an understatement!
In the meantime, just go along trying to do your best every day, treating people the best you can....this is the best way God can guide you, as He only guides step by step.
"Our human urge is to take advantage, to be in control..."
Perhaps, Branh. But we also are sons and daughters of an immortal eternal God, and, being made in His image, we have the divine urge in us to do good, to be the best we can be, and to help others. I am glad you have repented of your sins...that was wise. Now make a concerted effort to have faith in God and his good plan for you, otherwise I do not think you will be happy...you seem like an all or nothing person.
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
what? Branh WAS talking?! lol I thought if I let him piss an moan a tick he'd get the point; must be asperger's syndrome or something! lol Seems like he's a little jealous, or at least intrigued by my never ending optimism; I believe cynism is equal to forfeiting in the race/stage of life; I refuse to give up on people becuase unlike he, I'm not swayed by the negative alone; I'm imparitial and non-judgemental. People have the capacity to amaze us and next to just really bothering us; soundz like branh was buzzed a bit! lol I've never seen him so emotional...anywho as long as it's off his chest that's the main idea of the story isn't it? lol
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
treating MY board like it's a damned confessional; the nerve ya know!? lol
though, I don't mind it; branh, I don't think your a bad person; I think your a cynical, and well critical person, but I don't think your bad; you seem to try harder than anyone on hear to be the 'logical, all-knowing anti-hero' role, and you try to press your anti-heroism onto everyone else who would entertain it; It's very rare that a person is INTERNALLY a anti-hero.....just seems like your afraid....like it's gnawing at you and eating you up worse than anyone....I could be wrong, and I can just as easily stand corrected if that's the case, but ya know, I might not go 'yah, go god, and Jesus is magic' but I do believe in the human spirit, and our benevolence; I believe over that that it's within us that we are works of good (god) bad (devil) and both (human) it's what we choose to be or strive towards that determines you as a person. That's what I believe. Signed Up:
Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
....I'm not saying you're flat out WRONG Branh, I'm saying there's just ANOTHER WAY IF YOU'RE WILLING TO RESPECT IT, NOT ACCEPT IT. Tolerance it the key.
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
Eaglegirl I try, I do; it's not that hard actually. I didn't want to share my heart with anyone becuase I believed that to open the heart is to court trouble, pain, and misery....I STILL think it's true, but I believe also that there is another way out there and it's good, peaceable, and pleasureful; I'm still looking for that 'link' in myself, the link to other humans, to feel loved and to feel as if 'it's pleasureful to be around others' I wasn't ever afraid to take risks, or large-scale plans, just that I'd feel the same way I did as having my heart closed; and It's true.....I just know now that I CAN open my heart and let others in without discretion....I feel as empty as before.....much like a ghost, I feel as if I can 'talk' and 'express' myself, but I don't 'feel' anything about it all.....I want to ENJOY IT....I'm not saying I want to marry her, just....I want to enjoy her presense I can TOLERATE IT, but I can't really enjoy it yet....I'm confused now....I suppose I'm just rushing things....aw, I feel like I've got this secret, and I've finally found the RIGHT person to share it with, but now the secret dosent' feel as good as it used to.....it just dosent' feel special......you follow me?
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
I needed to believe; to have hope that it will feel pleasureful; that one day, it will be worth the search; I've always enjoyed intangibles more than tangibles; the search, more so than the catch....so to speak....The hunt is amuzing and fun, and a test of mettle, and I enjoy the test rather than the A at the end.....the outcome is predictible, and boring, but the test, the twists and turns that the prey leads the predator on is amazing.....like a Lion bolting after a wildebeast, he enjoys the chase, just going for it, rather than the kill....playing with his foe....
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Jul 11, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 3318 · Topics: 123
I enternally long becuase I exist....If I was absent of this longing RC, I'd have no need for this plane of existence....when we no longer need, of anything, we don't need to provide and survive, so we 'cease' in this form....I would rather long and be alive than to play at philosophical nonsense that arrives at no insighful conclusion.....that's the thing about philosophy; it can't be asserted as real-world data....it revolves around ideals, and the way we wish to see the world to 'complete' ourselves; it has a conclusion that is solely equiped to suit it's user....we have ideals within ourselves so we can 'complete' ourselves; for example; a child without a mother and father will see mother or father in the first gendered adults that come into contact with him/her, and provides him with his vision; and as a result will see them wrong or right as parents.....he needs this sight this ideal to give him hope that the world isn't a dark place, and that he's alright....sometimes it just leads one into denial; i'd rather be alone than to use some idealistic wish to soothe my pseudo-pain.....I don't feel anything....just empty...
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Nov 14, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 819 · Topics: 41
Man, VE, you are deep!
Sweetheart, you don't have to marry the girl. Just enjoy the moment to moment. See what those moments lead to. If they don't lead to anything bigger after a while, then she's not the girl for you...
See how simple it is?
I think you reminded Branh of himself when he was younger, that's why he got so emotional.
Just keep living your life and asking the questions....you're not supposed to have the answers yet. You will when you get older...
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Jan 18, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 1857 · Topics: 45
"I have a confession, I am a bad person. I've done worse things to people for my own satisfaction than I'm sure you can begin to fathom. I've taken advantage of desperate people for my own personal gain. And I've humiliated people, without the slightest hint of remorse. I've taken shattered lives and ruined them ever worse than they were. I have been a bad person, and I'm not even the worse person you'll ever meet. There are many others who have done worse to others than I have. In the real world, people do bad things to each other. We deceive ourselves and think that we rise above it all, but we really don't. Our human urge is to take advantage, to be in control, and to gain at other people's expense. There is not one human soul who has no done this. And yes, I repent my sins, and wait for my karma or judgement. But I know in my heart, even through my exploitation of the desperate, I felt like a good person. My actions just was never aligned with my view of myself. It is interesting, but self-deceit is strong within us all."
In that one profound paragraph, Brandon, for me personally, you have already "redeemed" yourself - I'm not going to say anything more.
A x
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Apr 13, 2005Comments: 0 · Posts: 44084 · Topics: 685
Yes Alana .. agreed 100% .. he's a better person than he realizes, than a lot of people realize.

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Dec 06, 2006Comments: 0 · Posts: 795 · Topics: 11
We deceive ourselves and think that we rise above it all, but we really don't. Our human urge is to take advantage, to be in control, and to gain at other people's expense. There is not one human soul who has no done this. And yes, I repent my sins, and wait for my karma or judgement. But I know in my heart, even through my exploitation of the desperate, I felt like a good person. My actions just was never aligned with my view of myself. It is interesting, but self-deceit is strong within us all.
And I would like to add: is this the full length of penance that a virg can do? Not trying to be biased or anything. But I do see virgs in a special way compared to others. I've known people to believe that what they're doing is absolutely right even though it is completely wrong. Let's put it this way, I know all the sins of course, but then when I see other people doing them, they just either don't know that they're doing something wrong to begin with or they have been told that it is wrong but refuse to believe it and/or accept it. Instead, they live by that sin, examples: homosexuality, slander, hatred for one's brother etc. Some of them suffer consequences and don't know why life has turned out the way it has..but there are several reasons to consider, none of which, are unspiritual. For we do not fight against flesh and blood but against principalities of the air, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.? (Ephesians 6:12)
However, when it comes to virgs, I talk to them about it and I get a totally different answer than all the other signs, which is why I put them in a special category, so please consider: when they sin, you can tell them, and they will competely agree. They are fully aware of it and do it purposely often, not without their excuses of course...
it's just odd that, virgs know it, admit and yet..are not christian..
It's ....ironic...if you know that sin exists and you know specifically what it is than you understand it's nature and it's root...heck..you understand all there is in the spiritual realm.
And yet....the penance,the fight,the message,the purpose, the faith...
They don't believe in it and yet they are fully aware of their sin and what it is they do on a moment to moment basis..
It's amazing..