The usual: Virgo Ex and I. (Might be a bit long).

This topic was created in the Virgo forum by hushbabydoll on Sunday, April 14, 2013 and has 7 replies.
We met in 8th grade, but we were barely friends as my family & I moved 1 month after. We lost contact until college & we then found out that we were perfect for each other. However, we live 1400 miles apart. He wanted to have a relationship, even if it was long-distance for a while. He knows my family is important to me, so he flew to meet them & for us to spend 2 weeks together. I'm also abstinent (no sex before marriage) so it wasn't ever about the sex. He told me extremely private things about his personal life concerning his family, past friends, everything. We were in love. Now, things were great for 8 months. Then out of nowhere, he disappears for a month. No phone calls, texts, etc. I asked his mom if he was ok, & she said he was alright. I decided to give him some space, because I know that's what virgos, & men in general, sometimes need. He comes back & asks for us to break up. It wasn't emotional on either side. I asked if he was sure, & for what reason, & he said he was & the distance was more than what he expected. So we broke up, with the understanding that we wouldn't talk to each other again. Anyway, 1 month later, he bombards me with messages about how he misses me & loves me so much. Literally 20+ messages on each medium we would communicate through. He explained that he was also going through some trouble with school, & family (his family is kind of...crazy. Like crazier than usual families). So I explained that if we were to give this another shot, I needed us to rebuild a friendship before a relationship. He accepted. 2 months later, we decide to restart a cautious relationship. 2 months after that, he got a bit wound up. He broke up with me (again) because he was angry that I didn't agree with all of his philosophical outlooks & I was very selfish in not agreeing to move to another continent after we were to get married. I agreed with most his ideas, because that's what I truly believed not because I was trying to please him, but on some of his views, I would explain that I respected where he was coming from but that I disagreed, then proceeded to explain why I disagreed, then was happy to let it die down. Now, 3 months after this, he's started messaging me again. I haven't responded yet. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want you guys to get the wrong idea; he's a great man. But he has periods of very dark moments where he doubts everything & everyone. Do you think I should give him another chance? (I'm a taurus btw, he's a virgo).
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It depends on how you feel about yet another break up, because that seems to be the pattern he has created.
He sounds very unstable, backs out when the going gets rough in the relationship but then comes back to you for comfort when he is down. He sounds very selfish. If the reasons for breaking up the second time still exist and nothing has changed, why give him another chance?
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Posted by carbon_scorp
It depends on how you feel about yet another break up, because that seems to be the pattern he has created.
He sounds very unstable, backs out when the going gets rough in the relationship but then comes back to you for comfort when he is down. He sounds very selfish. If the reasons for breaking up the second time still exist and nothing has changed, why give him another chance?


very true, but love (as I'm sure you might be aware) makes us do things that aren't completely logical. He's a good kid, but I don't want to raise a child, I want a man. One day, he's going to be a great man. And I don't want to lose the spiritual and mental connection we have. Physical connections are common but mental ones are rare. When both click, it'd be a shame to let it go. I just don't know what to do. :/
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Posted by hushbabydoll
Posted by carbon_scorp
It depends on how you feel about yet another break up, because that seems to be the pattern he has created.
He sounds very unstable, backs out when the going gets rough in the relationship but then comes back to you for comfort when he is down. He sounds very selfish. If the reasons for breaking up the second time still exist and nothing has changed, why give him another chance?


very true, but love (as I'm sure you might be aware) makes us do things that aren't completely logical. He's a good kid, but I don't want to raise a child, I want a man. One day, he's going to be a great man. And I don't want to lose the spiritual and mental connection we have. Physical connections are common but mental ones are rare. When both click, it'd be a shame to let it go. I just don't know what to do. :/

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If you think he needs growing up to do, I would leave it alone until you feel that he's matured enough for you. If it was meant to be, it will be. If the connection is real, you won't ever lose it. It's not about letting go but waiting until the time is right. Don't let your fear of losing him/the connection cause you to make a decision that is not right for RIGHT NOW.
I know the heart will have his way, but think of it rationally - if he hurts you one too many times, then by the time he is a man and ready for a mature relationship, your heart may be too burned already. Only you know yourself best.
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the heart will have *its way
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I like this, thank you for your help. It makes alot of sense to me and you're right. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, why worry? smile
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You're welcome. Glad I helped! smile
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