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This topic was created in the Writing ✍️ forum by divinesurrender on Tuesday, March 29, 2016 and has 13 replies.
Who is willing to listen what i have to say. Anyone without judgment who understands and accepts me for who i am.i am different.i do not fit in.i cannot live like most people do. I do not wish to smile all the time or talk.i like being silent. I need silence to balance my loud mind. Thoughts screaming and running in every direction.i try to find focus but i'm scattered,unsure.i am capable i know but unaware of what it is.what is my aim,my purpose. I feel completely lost in the middle of neverland where i scream n scream hoping someone will find me and take me out. No one hears. I struggle to find a way, the right path..i choose to take a road only to find myself deeper into the lost land. Tears run down my cheeks as i write this in the middle of night when the world is asleep. Night is my friend. It allows me to cry. Express my pain, the mental agony i go through everyday. Who knows about it? No one. No one could ever love me with all this chaos, the mental trauma that makes me a beautiful zombie. A dead person underneath the skin of a young woman. I'm afraid someone will see me, i fear being exposed of how sad, lonely, miserable i am. They come closer,i push them away.i don't want their pity,their attempts to make me feel less than how i want to feel about myself makes me cringe. A person with a terminal illness knows what is happening to them as they slowly fade away. My illness seems worse..i do not know what is happening..yet it feels like i'm dying bits by bits everyday. I'm afraid of losing all desires, whatever few remain. Already lost any desire to work, to serve any fucking corrupt human who gets off on the idea of being the self sufficient one, who sees others as his slaves and himself being entitled to be where he is. I cringe at powerful people, ones who have only had vanilla lives. And what is it that you need to have such a life. Sell yourself. Sell your soul. Sell your moral. Sell your body. This is the truth of this world. It buys your dignity, your individuality, your values, your principals, the ethics by which you live your life and in turn it gives you an easy road., a smooth living, a vanilla life. This is what is the ultimate meaning of life isn't it. No. I choose death. I'd rather live meaninglessly than have someone as low of a mortal as another sold out human define life to me. Thank you very much but i'm good, sir.
Lets just hope you don't end up regretting..
Posted by blackphase
I really really liked this! It spoke directly to my heart and soul. The darkness of this world is unmanageable, born only to be defeated.
You also walk this desolate plain with eyes wide open. You see the turmoil and feel the weight of unwanted existence. I feel your pain, xo
I'm glad it makes u feel at home.
i think i can understand why you feel this way...but...
first: the world has always been like this... nothing has changed...
second: your life is what you make of it
third: not all people are bad and corrupted...
you were given this life to make the most of it...you cant change every person but you can make a better life for yourself and the ones who you love...
if you think only about darkness, darkness is all you will get...
and in the end...no one will ever love you unless you start loving yourself
first: the world has always been like this... nothing has changed...
second: your life is what you make of it
third: not all people are bad and corrupted...
you were given this life to make the most of it...you cant change every person but you can make a better life for yourself and the ones who you love...
if you think only about darkness, darkness is all you will get...
and in the end...no one will ever love you unless you start loving yourself
Hera you do the ... I write like that... I am a Pisces moon and and Aqua rising as well...
I have never felt so out of place with my ... now... lol...
I agree... with you train of thought as well... and concur
PM
I have never felt so out of place with my ... now... lol...
I agree... with you train of thought as well... and concur
PM
... 
...
...i understand... once you realize you cant save them all...you will start saving the ones you can... there is always something you can do...start from whats surrounding you...it will matter...
Posted by hera
i understand... once you realize you cant save them all...you will start saving the ones you can... there is always something you can do...start from whats surrounding you...it will matter...
Honestly right now... Try to find the libra sun now... Strangely feeling transparent.
Awkward...
PM
Ah the writing forum... where the Human Condition
becomes poetry.
Fwiw... leading a rather vanilla life is a sacrifice
made by regular folks.
The powerful enjoy all 31 flavors.
becomes poetry.
Fwiw... leading a rather vanilla life is a sacrifice
made by regular folks.
The powerful enjoy all 31 flavors.
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
Maya Angelou
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
Maya Angelou
Posted by Piscis_Hominis
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
Maya Angelou
Thanks for sharing the lovely poem by maya angelo!
Posted by hera
i think i can understand why you feel this way...but...
first: the world has always been like this... nothing has changed...
second: your life is what you make of it
third: not all people are bad and corrupted...
you were given this life to make the most of it...you cant change every person but you can make a better life for yourself and the ones who you love...
if you think only about darkness, darkness is all you will get...
and in the end...no one will ever love you unless you start loving yourself
One can only pretend it's all good upto a certain point. Where i come from, there is no going back. Again, like i wrote about defining life.. "making most of it... Making it better" remain a vague overoptimistic answer to the very question although i know you intend well by saying that. A good life means diffetent things to different persons.. If the thirst of my soul isn't quenched by a certain way of living i can't be happy.
Posted by Montgomery
Ah the writing forum... where the Human Condition
becomes poetry.
Fwiw... leading a rather vanilla life is a sacrifice
made by regular folks.
The powerful enjoy all 31 flavors.
I don't have a vanilla life.. Never had.. And i'm certainly not powerful
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