Controlling?

In relationships where I have lived together with a guy, we have always consented to the following rule: If one of the people in the couple is out without the other, we have set a, for us, reasonable time. Before that time, we either come home or message...

This topic was created in the Aquarius forum by HappyCapper on Thursday, September 30, 2021 and has 86 replies.
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No such thing as a curfew. If we live/sleep together I would hope she would just hit me and let me know if she’s coming home tonight or not. I give a see y’a later and that’s what I plan on doing. Just mutual respect.


Time does fly when you are out though. But I think you know the type of partner you have. If they are loose people then I can see it. If you know they get side tracked then just know they must be having a good time.
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88

As a Sag, I wouldn’t agree to it and I’m a women.

I was married and stayed out as long as I wanted, without checking in, and he was sleeping when I came in late.

I wouldn’t even remember to stop doing what I’m doing, just to send a text of “what I’m doing now and will continue to do, so I can’t make curfew”. 😏

Some people don’t worry about this type of thing and trust their partners to be responsible and to enjoy their time out with friends.

It’s not controlling, more of a nuisance.

Do you wait up for your boyfriend like a parent would wait for their teenagers to come home?


Being a sag venus and an adult female, I also stay out as long as I like. But if I'm for instance out at a club with friends, the club closes at 03:00 and there are no plans of an after party, the time would probably be set at 04:00 and if I don't think I'll make it home until then, I don't mind sending a text saying "05:00" or "06:00"...or whatever, depending on the plan.

If he goes to the bathroom at 04:15 and realises that I'm not there, he'll just check his phone and know that I'm not run over by a car, or something. If he wakes up at 04:45 and there's no message on his phone, on the other hand, then he has that info and could act according to that.

For me, it's not about the partner being responsible or not; I just want to know he's safe. And no, I don't wait up - I'm not his mom.


If both of you agree to it, then it's all good. You asked a question about whether it was controlling and LN answered which part seemed that way.

As for your example, it just depends on the dynamic of your relationship. I had complete trust and freedom and I give that to my partner as well. So I don't get upset or feel the need to let my partner know if I'm going to be 15 minutes late, unless he's up and asks.

This is tricky for me, because it impedes on my freedom. Should I say this coming back for the grocery store? If I'm out at the movies with friends, in the daylight and he's busy, should I send a text at exactly the time the movie ended and that I'm on my way home?

Plenty do this minute by minute update on their social life. What's good for their relationship wouldn't be necessarily good for mine.

It comes down to compatibility. Since both of you are like this, then it doesn't matter what people outside of your relationship think.
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No, I completely agree with most of what you said here. Funny thing, I would feel it would have impeded on my freedom if I felt I needed to check my phone for messages from my partner when I'm out, so your method wouldn't work on me for the same reason my method wouldn't work for you.

I do understand that the way I worded it, might have sounded a tiny bit like a negotiation and thereby a cerfew. BUT! I repeat, there was no cerfew. I pretty much told him the time I thought reasonable and he said have fun, and the other way around. And if it seemed I would be longer than that time, I'd just text him the new time. No negotiation. No permission asked. No cerfew.

And it's just when we're out and assumably late at night that it's even something we would mention.
Posted by Gobbie
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Gobbie

However, I have come across many women twisting the word 'controlling' to suit their toxic agendas. To them, standing your ground and saying 'no' equates to being controlling. Go figure.


How? I don't get it.


Maybe you should pay more attention to what's REALLY going on out there.
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In what sense? I can see many scenarios that would fit what you wrote, I just thought you meant something specific that I missed.
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88

As a Sag, I wouldn’t agree to it and I’m a women.

I was married and stayed out as long as I wanted, without checking in, and he was sleeping when I came in late.

I wouldn’t even remember to stop doing what I’m doing, just to send a text of “what I’m doing now and will continue to do, so I can’t make curfew”. 😏

Some people don’t worry about this type of thing and trust their partners to be responsible and to enjoy their time out with friends.

It’s not controlling, more of a nuisance.

Do you wait up for your boyfriend like a parent would wait for their teenagers to come home?


Being a sag venus and an adult female, I also stay out as long as I like. But if I'm for instance out at a club with friends, the club closes at 03:00 and there are no plans of an after party, the time would probably be set at 04:00 and if I don't think I'll make it home until then, I don't mind sending a text saying "05:00" or "06:00"...or whatever, depending on the plan.

If he goes to the bathroom at 04:15 and realises that I'm not there, he'll just check his phone and know that I'm not run over by a car, or something. If he wakes up at 04:45 and there's no message on his phone, on the other hand, then he has that info and could act according to that.

For me, it's not about the partner being responsible or not; I just want to know he's safe. And no, I don't wait up - I'm not his mom.


If both of you agree to it, then it's all good. You asked a question about whether it was controlling and LN answered which part seemed that way.

As for your example, it just depends on the dynamic of your relationship. I had complete trust and freedom and I give that to my partner as well. So I don't get upset or feel the need to let my partner know if I'm going to be 15 minutes late, unless he's up and asks.

This is tricky for me, because it impedes on my freedom. Should I say this coming back for the grocery store? If I'm out at the movies with friends, in the daylight and he's busy, should I send a text at exactly the time the movie ended and that I'm on my way home?

Plenty do this minute by minute update on their social life. What's good for their relationship wouldn't be necessarily good for mine.

It comes down to compatibility. Since both of you are like this, then it doesn't matter what people outside of your relationship think.


No, I completely agree with most of what you said here. Funny thing, I would feel it would have impeded on my freedom if I felt I needed to check my phone for messages from my partner when I'm out, so your method wouldn't work on me for the same reason my method wouldn't work for you.

I do understand that the way I worded it, might have sounded a tiny bit like a negotiation and thereby a cerfew. BUT! I repeat, there was no cerfew. I pretty much told him the time I thought reasonable and he said have fun, and the other way around. And if it seemed I would be longer than that time, I'd just text him the new time. No negotiation. No permission asked. No cerfew.

And it's just when we're out and assumably late at night that it's even something we would mention.
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Just seems like basic communication.

I never tell a time to anyone. I'll be back when I'm back. That's it and that's all.

The "over protective and being worried" about me can go right in the trash, which is why I'm fine with being texted if they are wondering.

That's the only time they would get a time. Otherwise it's just, "I'm going out tonight"
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Undine

"But a common courtesy of having a curfew seems wild to me."

Maybe because you misinterpreted it. Giving your partner the approx. time you'll be home and sending a courtesy text if you don't make it.....is not even remotely a curfew.


That's not what the OP said.

There is a agreed upon time that both agreed to prior, and when one stays out later, they are expected to send a text stating that.

Your scenario makes sense.

This sound like rules for their relationship, which is fine since it was agreed upon.

But seems more like something to sooth insecurities on both sides, which is also fine if it's agreed upon by both parties and that's what they need to feel secure.

I just stated why I wouldn't be able to do it.


What Undine said is pretty much the "rule". As said before, I think it's the word "rule" that may sound harsh. It's just an agreement. It's not like we would sit down and negotiate the time. If I go out, I may say bye and I'll be home before 04:00. If not, I'll text you. He says okay, have a nice time. Nobody tells me when I have to be home.


This is very different from the OP and is reasonable. I took the post too literally, which is what I always do when I read.
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I can see that some part of the op might have sounded a bit like it. Sorry for being unclear.
Posted by _ang_an

Its easier to just let everyone track you. I dont have a good sense of time.


Easier, yes... but... *throws phone into the river and flees to another continent*
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by LadyNeptune

Op I think it’s because having a curfew you must inform your partner if your out later aka ask permission seems a bit infantile as an adult. That’s the part that could seem a bit controlling.

We don’t have a curfew. We just communicate where we are and if our plans and timing change. I think most reasonable people would do the same.

And it’s not about controlling each other, it’s about safety.


Asking permission is not what we're doing, though. We inform eachother of a time we initially would think we'd be home. If we will be later than that, we just send a short text informing(not asking permission) the other person of that. We seem to do pretty much the same as you do.


Exactly, very reasonable.

I think the way you worded it here and presumably to your coworker is why he called it controlling.

People have an adverse reaction to the word curfew. Makes us remember a time we were a teenager under parental control.
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My co-worker and I discussed it, and I had plenty of time to explain what I meant, so I don't think that was it. I don't think I wrote the word curfew, but it sends the same shiver down my spine as it probably does averyone else here.smile I do agree, though, that it may have come across that way a bit.
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by LadyNeptune
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by LadyNeptune

Op I think it’s because having a curfew you must inform your partner if your out later aka ask permission seems a bit infantile as an adult. That’s the part that could seem a bit controlling.

We don’t have a curfew. We just communicate where we are and if our plans and timing change. I think most reasonable people would do the same.

And it’s not about controlling each other, it’s about safety.


Asking permission is not what we're doing, though. We inform eachother of a time we initially would think we'd be home. If we will be later than that, we just send a short text informing(not asking permission) the other person of that. We seem to do pretty much the same as you do.


Exactly, very reasonable.

I think the way you worded it here and presumably to your coworker is why he called it controlling.

People have an adverse reaction to the word curfew. Makes us remember a time we were a teenager under parental control.


My co-worker and I discussed it, and I had plenty of time to explain what I meant, so I don't think that was it. I don't think I wrote the word curfew, but it sends the same shiver down my spine as it probably does averyone else here.smile I do agree, though, that it may have come across that way a bit.
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Ultimately it doesn't matter as you aren't dating your coworker. You and your partner are harmonious on this decision.

As you can see from this thread alone lots of alternating views coming in for or against.
Lol looking through our text chain most of the "where are you, when you coming home" has to do with food. Like are we eating together? Should I wait for you? If not imma eat.
Posted by SeaLion

That is way to controlling. I would not agree to it. Wtf am I a teenager with a fucking curfew? Wtf. I'm a grown ass adult. If I wanna stay out late then I will. This is a partnership not a fucking prison sentence. Will I stay out all night? Not likely...but it has happened a few times.


There was no curfew. No one had to ask permission to do anything. Both stayed out for as long as each individual liked. We just informed each other of a likely time and if we felt like staying out longer, we just sent the other a short text informing of a new time. I would not have agreed to a curfew either.
Posted by hellosaggy

No such thing as a curfew. If we live/sleep together I would hope she would just hit me and let me know if she’s coming home tonight or not. I give a see y’a later and that’s what I plan on doing. Just mutual respect.


Time does fly when you are out though. But I think you know the type of partner you have. If they are loose people then I can see it. If you know they get side tracked then just know they must be having a good time.


There was no curfew. No one had to ask permission to do anything. Both stayed out for as long as each individual liked. We just informed each other of a likely time and if we felt like staying out longer, we just sent the other a short text informing of a new time. I would not have agreed to a curfew either.
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88

As a Sag, I wouldn’t agree to it and I’m a women.

I was married and stayed out as long as I wanted, without checking in, and he was sleeping when I came in late.

I wouldn’t even remember to stop doing what I’m doing, just to send a text of “what I’m doing now and will continue to do, so I can’t make curfew”. 😏

Some people don’t worry about this type of thing and trust their partners to be responsible and to enjoy their time out with friends.

It’s not controlling, more of a nuisance.

Do you wait up for your boyfriend like a parent would wait for their teenagers to come home?


Being a sag venus and an adult female, I also stay out as long as I like. But if I'm for instance out at a club with friends, the club closes at 03:00 and there are no plans of an after party, the time would probably be set at 04:00 and if I don't think I'll make it home until then, I don't mind sending a text saying "05:00" or "06:00"...or whatever, depending on the plan.

If he goes to the bathroom at 04:15 and realises that I'm not there, he'll just check his phone and know that I'm not run over by a car, or something. If he wakes up at 04:45 and there's no message on his phone, on the other hand, then he has that info and could act according to that.

For me, it's not about the partner being responsible or not; I just want to know he's safe. And no, I don't wait up - I'm not his mom.


If both of you agree to it, then it's all good. You asked a question about whether it was controlling and LN answered which part seemed that way.

As for your example, it just depends on the dynamic of your relationship. I had complete trust and freedom and I give that to my partner as well. So I don't get upset or feel the need to let my partner know if I'm going to be 15 minutes late, unless he's up and asks.

This is tricky for me, because it impedes on my freedom. Should I say this coming back for the grocery store? If I'm out at the movies with friends, in the daylight and he's busy, should I send a text at exactly the time the movie ended and that I'm on my way home?

Plenty do this minute by minute update on their social life. What's good for their relationship wouldn't be necessarily good for mine.

It comes down to compatibility. Since both of you are like this, then it doesn't matter what people outside of your relationship think.


No, I completely agree with most of what you said here. Funny thing, I would feel it would have impeded on my freedom if I felt I needed to check my phone for messages from my partner when I'm out, so your method wouldn't work on me for the same reason my method wouldn't work for you.

I do understand that the way I worded it, might have sounded a tiny bit like a negotiation and thereby a cerfew. BUT! I repeat, there was no cerfew. I pretty much told him the time I thought reasonable and he said have fun, and the other way around. And if it seemed I would be longer than that time, I'd just text him the new time. No negotiation. No permission asked. No cerfew.

And it's just when we're out and assumably late at night that it's even something we would mention.


Just seems like basic communication.

I never tell a time to anyone. I'll be back when I'm back. That's it and that's all.

The "over protective and being worried" about me can go right in the trash, which is why I'm fine with being texted if they are wondering.

That's the only time they would get a time. Otherwise it's just, "I'm going out tonight"
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I totally get that. That's how I used to do it before my bf told me he got worried when I wasn't there the next early morning, so he came up with this idea, which I thought was a good one, so we did it.smile If I'm out, though, I'm probably not going to even notice if a get a text, so that wouldn't work on me.
Posted by _ang_an
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by _ang_an

Its easier to just let everyone track you. I dont have a good sense of time.


Easier, yes... but... *throws phone into the river and flees to another continent*


Why though? What are you afraid of?
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Being tracked. That, to me is controlling.
Posted by _ang_an
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by _ang_an
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by _ang_an

Its easier to just let everyone track you. I dont have a good sense of time.


Easier, yes... but... *throws phone into the river and flees to another continent*


Why though? What are you afraid of?


Being tracked. That, to me is controlling.


Why? You dont want him to know you're at the gyno? Once you reach the level of living with me, there are no more secrets except dxp. I'm never telling anyone I'm on here. I'm so ashamed of you people.
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What if he tracks me to my secret computor that I only use for dxp purposes and discovers where I spent the afternoon? Huh? No, seriously. I really(!) don't work that way. Do you really have NO secrets(except for the mandatory dxp-sectret) from the person you live with? Nothing? There are many things I haven't told a living soul - and I've been married. It's about integrity for me. I want to keep a part of me just mine.
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?
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Hmmmm... This style of questioning is looking more in line with your OP.

User Submitted Image
Posted by Snippet
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?


No, I didn’t in the past but I’m a light sleeper and eventually wake up noticing my partner isn’t there.

I’m also an old lady and was referring to 4pm and 5:30pm lol. I was thinking about how men go out on fishing trips or day trips with their guy friends. I’ve never been with someone who gets home later than like 3am, if that.
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Aaah. lol. No, I get that. My mother is like that and some of my friends - they would totally sense that their partner wasn't there and wake up.

I must say, now that you mention it, if my partner is out deep diving, I will actually want them to message me or call or whatever, day or night, when they're on dry land again, so that's an exception.
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?


Hmmmm... This style of questioning is looking more in line with your OP.

User Submitted Image
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What do you mean? I didn't get that.
Aries cousin got tracked n caught by her bf. He gifted her a new iPhone . She wasn’t aware he was tracking her. Well she would tell him she was not feeling like going out then would go out with a friend clubbing. She got her ass dumped but she kept focusing on his ass tracking her.
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?


Hmmmm... This style of questioning is looking more in line with your OP.

User Submitted Image


What do you mean? I didn't get that.
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It coincided with the preset time agreed upon before going out and sitting up to wait and see if he came back at that time.

This is more like parenting and it seems controlling.

What are the consequences of not being home by a said time? What actually happens? Someone is bound to not make it.
Posted by Truemara

Aries cousin got tracked n caught by her bf. He gifted her a new iPhone . She wasn’t aware he was tracking her. Well she would tell him she was not feeling like going out then would go out with a friend clubbing. She got her ass dumped but she kept focusing on his ass tracking her.


Not a fan of either action...times a billion. :O
Posted by Truemara

Aries cousin got tracked n caught by her bf. He gifted her a new iPhone . She wasn’t aware he was tracking her. Well she would tell him she was not feeling like going out then would go out with a friend clubbing. She got her ass dumped but she kept focusing on his ass tracking her.


Sounds like a Virgo I knew growing up lol

He put a tracking device on her car even. She ended up getting a restraining order on him. She was an Aries too

I wish I knew his moon sign and chart!
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?


Hmmmm... This style of questioning is looking more in line with your OP.

User Submitted Image


What do you mean? I didn't get that.


It coincided with the preset time agreed upon before going out and sitting up to wait and see if he came back at that time.

This is more like parenting and it seems controlling.

What are the consequences of not being home by a said time? What actually happens? Someone is bound to not make it.
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I just asked if she did. I never did.

Yes, sitting up and waiting to see if he would come home on time or not does seem controlling to me. If my partner came home much later than he said he would and had not texted and if I would have noticed, I would have been worried, which I would have told him.
Posted by MareInfame
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Truemara

Aries cousin got tracked n caught by her bf. He gifted her a new iPhone . She wasn’t aware he was tracking her. Well she would tell him she was not feeling like going out then would go out with a friend clubbing. She got her ass dumped but she kept focusing on his ass tracking her.


Sounds like a Virgo I knew growing up lol

He put a tracking device on her car even. She ended up getting a restraining order on him. She was an Aries too

I wish I knew his moon sign and chart!


Maybe this is an Earth sign tactic 🤔🤔🤔… because I also know Cap women that do this. A Cap did this to my Leo cousin, he got so pissed and broke up with the Cap immediately after…
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The controllers trying to control fire signs!Laughing

They're gonna learn TODAY!Laughing

Freaking ridiculous. Get a fuccing life already. Why would they want an outgoing, social sign?
You have to understand first and foremost aquas do whatever they want, whether you've talked about it or not. I feel like with my gemini it's reasonable to keep in touch and notify when we're coming home. I don't think we ever discuss times but I feel like we both inherently know that it is common sense to not come too late in order to spend time with one another and not keep the other one up too late. I've never gone to bed without my partner and neither has he tbh so I don't know.
It’s common courtesy to let a significant other or serious relationship know what’s going on. Like: Hey babe I’m leaving this get together & am on the way home.

To be told by someone else what to do is a little controlling, but I’d have to wonder if they didn’t do it on their own. A new time? Ya a bit controlling… waiting is good practice for when you have teenagers 😉
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghostI feel like we both inherently know that it is common sense to not come too late.

this is exactly why she created this thread nobody has time for feelings and mind reading just communicate duh
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I don't know if perhaps I worded it wrong but clearly it's a topic that has been discussed within my relationship that's why we inherently know our dislikes and likes when it comes to "curfews".
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghost
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghostI feel like we both inherently know that it is common sense to not come too late.

this is exactly why she created this thread nobody has time for feelings and mind reading just communicate duh


I don't know if perhaps I worded it wrong but clearly it's a topic that has been discussed within my relationship that's why we inherently know our dislikes and likes when it comes to "curfews".

maybe...it reads condescending like " me and my partner "know" what time to be home and blah blah blah" not everyone operates like this also some people prefer to talk about minut, mundane, subjects.
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Well, that's not how I meant it. I don't see how you read it that way? I usually type or communicate in a way where I'm speaking out loud to myself.
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghost
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghost
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghostI feel like we both inherently know that it is common sense to not come too late.

this is exactly why she created this thread nobody has time for feelings and mind reading just communicate duh


I don't know if perhaps I worded it wrong but clearly it's a topic that has been discussed within my relationship that's why we inherently know our dislikes and likes when it comes to "curfews".

maybe...it reads condescending like " me and my partner "know" what time to be home and blah blah blah" not everyone operates like this also some people prefer to talk about minut, mundane, subjects.


Well, that's not how I meant it. I don't see how you read it that way? I usually type or communicate in a way where I'm speaking out loud to myself.

well you're not perfect so....get over it : P
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I never said I was? why are you so triggered and touchy? wow
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghost
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghost
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghost
Posted by Purplesky
Posted by virghostI feel like we both inherently know that it is common sense to not come too late.

this is exactly why she created this thread nobody has time for feelings and mind reading just communicate duh


I don't know if perhaps I worded it wrong but clearly it's a topic that has been discussed within my relationship that's why we inherently know our dislikes and likes when it comes to "curfews".

maybe...it reads condescending like " me and my partner "know" what time to be home and blah blah blah" not everyone operates like this also some people prefer to talk about minut, mundane, subjects.


Well, that's not how I meant it. I don't see how you read it that way? I usually type or communicate in a way where I'm speaking out loud to myself.

well you're not perfect so....get over it : P


I never said I was? why are you so triggered and touchy? wow

ciao
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scorpio sun leo moon... not suprised
Posted by HappyCapper

My co-worker and I discussed it, and I had plenty of time to explain what I meant, so I don't think that was it. I don't think I wrote the word curfew...

You didn't. Funny how that kept popping up as if you did.
Posted by _ang_an
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by Truemara

Aries cousin got tracked n caught by her bf. He gifted her a new iPhone . She wasn’t aware he was tracking her. Well she would tell him she was not feeling like going out then would go out with a friend clubbing. She got her ass dumped but she kept focusing on his ass tracking her.


Sounds like a Virgo I knew growing up lol

He put a tracking device on her car even. She ended up getting a restraining order on him. She was an Aries too

I wish I knew his moon sign and chart!


If it were up to me, we'd be living and raising our children in m night shyamalan's the village.
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LMAO! Where they keep disappearing as you have them.Laughing Makes for good bedtime children stories.

Let's throw in a Hansel and Gretel style house for the children to get fattened up in as well!Laughing

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Posted by MareInfame
Posted by SnippetI’m also an old lady and was referring to 4pm and 5:30pm lol. I was thinking about how men go out on fishing trips or day trips with their guy friends. I’ve never been with someone who gets home later than like 3am, if that.


Same. Never dated or been with anyone that loved partying without me either…lol. Or did trips “with the guys”.

You don't find that a bit much? I love going out dancing with my partner and we do a lot of things together, however I would become concerned if he didn't want to spend time with his friends. I have things I want to do. Much of the time alone, sometimes with my girlfriends.
Posted by MareInfame

This is definitely a Sun Sign issue. I usually date Water + Earth - we speak the same language.
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I don't know if that is entirely true. Current partner is a Fire sign and it's a good balance despite both being dominant in our own elements. We simply have similar expectations when it comes to personal freedom and the amount of attention required to make the other feel connected/cared for. Oddly I find the Water and Earth signs I dated too suffocating. From my experience Fire gives me the right about of space by going out, doing their own thing and communicating enough to keep my mind at ease. Depending on the specs in the chart, I have found Air a little much too.

Perhaps it's more about the Venus and Moon vs Sun?
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by saggurl88
Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?


Hmmmm... This style of questioning is looking more in line with your OP.

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What do you mean? I didn't get that.


It coincided with the preset time agreed upon before going out and sitting up to wait and see if he came back at that time.

This is more like parenting and it seems controlling.

What are the consequences of not being home by a said time? What actually happens? Someone is bound to not make it.
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Totally made me think of the last scene in House Party...

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LOL @ that last exchange....lawd.....
Posted by MareInfame
Posted by Snippet
Posted by MareInfame
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Posted by HappyCapper
Posted by Snippet

I think letting your s/o know your whereabouts is common decency in a relationship lol. Like I’ve seen others say, I wouldn’t just leave whenever and not tell you where I was going. I would expect the same exchange from my partner.

If you told me that you’re going to hang with your friend Josh and that you’ll be home around 4, but yet 5:30 rolls around and you’re still not home, absolutely I’m texting or calling you to find out what’s going on. If I’m running later than what I said, I’ll send a text to update my partner. I worry, I care, and I’ve never been with someone who was bothered by this or didn’t do these same things themselves. I’ve never seen it as controlling and I know for certain that my partners didn’t either. We let each other be while out with other people, only when time frames didn’t match did we start inquiring about whereabouts.


Will you sit up and wait to see if your partner comes home at that time?


No, I didn’t in the past but I’m a light sleeper and eventually wake up noticing my partner isn’t there.

I’m also an old lady and was referring to 4pm and 5:30pm lol. I was thinking about how men go out on fishing trips or day trips with their guy friends. I’ve never been with someone who gets home later than like 3am, if that.


Same. Never dated or been with anyone that loved partying without me either…lol. Or did trips “with the guys”.

Damn… we’re lucky.

My dad’s an Aqua and NO ONE puts a curfew on him. This is definitely a Sun Sign issue. I usually date Water + Earth - we speak the same language.

My poor Taurus mom… the things she had to put up with 😑😣


Your poor Taurus mom indeed lol. My mom is a Scorpio and my dad is also an Aquarius, we still can’t persuade or move that man to do anything that he doesn’t want.

I agree, we do tend to get lucky here.


Omg… your poor Scorpio mom🤣😂… seriously, I feel for her because your dad sounds EXACTLY like my dad. My Pisces sister calls him “Contreras”😂🤣 because if we all say “yes” he’ll say “no” if we want to go, he wants to stay… he literally has to make a point of being the odd ball out. It’s SOOOOO frustrating.
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You've got a Taurus mum, Aqua dad and Pisces sister...? So does my Libra sister smile