Scorpio woman ..and Cancer male
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Scorpion sting on Wednesday, January 9, 2008 and has 41 replies.
Please could I receive some help from my fellow water signs? Thanks in advance.
i am sure he feels something for you and he probably enjoys the bond yall have but the main thing you said was that he has a long term girlfriend. as you probably know we cancers find it hard to let go of something or someone who has been in our life for a long time. not knowing his relationship with his girlfriend i couldn't give you any insight as to what he is thinking with her. you do say your and his LOYALTY is strong so it could also be the case with his girlfriend so couldn't tell you if he would leave her for you so for now it is probably best to just remain friends but who knows what the future holds...
he possibly well could be in love with you but here we will go back to the loyalty and long term cancer attachment. also, we take a long time and have to be really really sure about things before we commit. he might be unsure of his relationship with his girlfriend hence the hesitation on getting married. love, security, loyalty, and trust are huge on our lists before we put our heart out there. he could just be going through the motions with his girlfriend cause they have been together for a long time. i will use the word again, loyalty. not sure if you have asked him about her but you might want to ask in a joking light hearted way. i keep telling ppl on here that if you want a response from a cancer you need to come at us in a non threatening way that way we don't put our guard. we can feel you out before you know it and usually respond accordingly..
we laugh things off or make jokes about things cause it protects us. but one thing is that there is a lot of truth in our jokes. we do it to protect us in case we misinterpreted something that way we don't look like fools. take his jokes in jest but also listen carefully. we can hide or show no emotion like anyones business. a lot of ppl have a hard time reading me and it isn't that i do it intentionally but that i am very reserved around ppl i don't know but heck even the one's who know me can't get me sometimes. i don't think you being indian or him being scottish has any play so i wouldn't worry about that. if it did then i don't think yall would be friends for this long. hmmm, i am not sure about you telling him how you feel. the question is do you think this could possibly ruin your friendship? think about that and weigh the options. you might want to gather some more intelligence about him and his girlfriend before confessing anything to him..but that is just my opinion..
karma comes back three-fold....most important thing - HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. Nothing wrong with waiting to see what happens - but don't go instigating anything, and don't tell him how you feel. One thing that has been said here many times and is very true - if you try to come between him and his girlfriend he will think you have no respect for relationships....that won't make you look good in his eyes.....besides it's just plain wrong.
Also - cansir didn't touch on this and maybe I'm wrong - but from my experience with cancers I would say that his comments about graduates reflect an inferiority complex.
Also - cansir didn't touch on this and maybe I'm wrong - but from my experience with cancers I would say that his comments about graduates reflect an inferiority complex.
Thats interesting, you have a girl you live with and have been dating for years and yet spend time as friends with another girl who appeals to you for other reasons. Sounds to me like there's 2 relationships going on here.. one for convenience and one for empathy/chemistry. Scorp sting, why not just ask the guy where he sees the relationship heading?
I couldn't disagree more.. scorp sting you should escalate the situation and prove you're the alpha female. Years could go by before mr. indecisive cancer makes up his mind.
would you want some guy doing that to you? Having been the girlfriend when some bitch decided she wanted my man and didn't care he was taken...I can say - it is a truly horrible thing to do. If he's not happy with her let him decide and do something about it - don't instigate. And if she's not willing to wait and see what happens that's her business, but if he has a girlfriend she needs to keep it friendly.
Well there's already no easy way out of a love triangle so might as well escalate it.
or just leave it be - he hasn't told her he feels anything other than friendship. If he hasn't schosen to go that route when he seemingly has feelings for her then there is a reason...... and you are again ignoring the fact that there is someone else involved here. She should have enough respect not to put someone elese through that. If they don't belong together let them deal with that and be there when he needs her..... never go messing around in someone else's relationship.
If that someone else was so relevant.. why are they even in this situation? Since it doesn't look like mr. cancer is going to take charge anytime soon.. someone else should.
it doesn't matter - if he wants to be a jerk and mess around that's his problem... I hope she has more respect for herself than to be the "other woman".....just because he's wrong doesn't mean she should be too.
Besides - like they say....if he'll do it to her he'll do it to you too.....
Besides - like they say....if he'll do it to her he'll do it to you too.....
Yeah, I think he just found a better deal and is too nice to end it with longtime boring girlfriend and keeps clinging on to the past. Sound familiar?
maybe so - but he needs to man up.
by the way.....cheap shot....
He needs to harden the fuck up (pardon mon Francais).
same shit - no pardon required.
I'm not saying a girl has to be a complete snake, but if she's feeling a connection she has every right to pursue and defend her interests.
not if he's already in a relationship. Then she needs to wait until he has the balls to end it. Plain and simple. Unless his girlfriend is abusing him in some way there's no reason why she should interfere. If it's meant to be it will.
"wait until he has the balls to end it".. please tell me your joking..? Could take decades to grow a pair.
So? Does that mean she should be the problem?
I'm sorry - but any woman who knowingly goes after another woman's man is despicable in my opinion.
The only exception like I said being if she's somehow abusing/hurting him. And then her focus should be on helping him get out of an unhealthy relationship - not on getting him -- that can come later.
The only exception like I said being if she's somehow abusing/hurting him. And then her focus should be on helping him get out of an unhealthy relationship - not on getting him -- that can come later.
Scorp sting, my suggestion to you is to corner this person, tell him how you feel and otherwise work that scorp magic. Take a chance and see where it takes you.
She's not the problem, she's the solution.
you're making me sick - I'm done.........
If it suits you but it wasn't my intention.
Key idea here is to not get caught up in the cycle of being nice and considerate.. you might live to regret it.
"But I do think he WANTS me to possess him and make that first move. He wont do it!"
Thats exactly what you need to do. For all you know, there is no other relationship and he's using the story to buy time to get completely comfortable with you.
Yeah, sounds just like what I thought.. a relationship for convenience with nothing else backing it up. Have you actually seen this person?
So he is using me for his convenience only?
No he's using her for convenience but he wants you for what she can't give him.. which is why you find out where all this is going.
You're not responsible for how this man feels about his present gf nor are you the reason why he may go astray. His relationship with his girlfriend is not your concern to put it bluntly. Sometimes it takes someone else to help you end a relationship. Just don't give up the goodies until he's out of the relationship but then again he may never ask for them. I think you said they are living together, if so that makes the brake up even harder. I was told once that it sometimes takes as long to break up as it does to get close to someone. Everybody gets someone else's bf/gf eventually most of us just don't know about the particulars. I think you should tell him how you feel and back off nicely....you shouldn't let him have his cake too. Sleep on it and good luck..
sting your a grown woman so ultimately the choice is yours but i am just going to say to be careful where you tread. you just said he lives with her so all i am saying is don't put him in a position he might not want to be in..but you know him better than us so go with what you think is right..
I do get urges (which I try hard to control) to seduce him. I am posessive - it is in my nature. But I do think he WANTS me to possess him and make that first move. He wont do it!
LOL! That my dear is a JOKE, when he wants some, give him some time and he will be VERY blunt about some sex. I am willing to bet money on that note.
LOL! That my dear is a JOKE, when he wants some, give him some time and he will be VERY blunt about some sex. I am willing to bet money on that note.
Krobe - he is a gentleman and has scruples.
Nevertheless - he is still a man and has needs.... but I highly doubt he will pursue me for sex. I think he respects me too much. He actually thinks Im quite 'innocent' (hehe how little he knows
Nevertheless - he is still a man and has needs.... but I highly doubt he will pursue me for sex. I think he respects me too much. He actually thinks Im quite 'innocent' (hehe how little he knows
Krobe - he is a gentleman and has scruples.
Nevertheless - he is still a man and has needs.... but I highly doubt he will pursue me for sex. I think he respects me too much. He actually thinks Im quite 'innocent' (hehe how little he knows
Don't be on it! When a Cancer man is ready and tired of waiting and YOU don't make the first move, he is going to ask you for some sexual chemistry. I don't think it matters what type of man YOU figure him out to be. However, in the first stages it will be very indirect until he is comfortable with saying let's FU@@!
He may say something like his back hurts all the time, which means he wants you to rub it. That my back hurts is a way of getting him to "touch" even though it takes a long time to figure out what that means-he will eventually get to the nitty gritty esp if you are making him WAIT!
Nevertheless - he is still a man and has needs.... but I highly doubt he will pursue me for sex. I think he respects me too much. He actually thinks Im quite 'innocent' (hehe how little he knows
Don't be on it! When a Cancer man is ready and tired of waiting and YOU don't make the first move, he is going to ask you for some sexual chemistry. I don't think it matters what type of man YOU figure him out to be. However, in the first stages it will be very indirect until he is comfortable with saying let's FU@@!
He may say something like his back hurts all the time, which means he wants you to rub it. That my back hurts is a way of getting him to "touch" even though it takes a long time to figure out what that means-he will eventually get to the nitty gritty esp if you are making him WAIT!
Scorp Sting sounds like you have this situation under control....keep us posted if you don't mind...
Scorp Sting sounds like you have this situation under control....keep us posted if you don't mind...Yeah, I agree keep us posted! Sounds fun! I personally would not deal with a man who has a woman simply because I can not stand the thought of being number nothing else besides #1. Good luck though, I will not knock you for it.
"If he's not happy with her let him decide and do something about it - don't instigate."
Why not? Sometimes people don't know what kind of bonds are possible and just hang around with someone out of habit.
What would be wrong with this scenario?
* Inquire about his relationship and it's state and if warranted:
Tell him you like him a lot.
He ends his relationship.
You guys start dating.
Nobody cheats, there is honesty and no bad "karma".
Why not? Sometimes people don't know what kind of bonds are possible and just hang around with someone out of habit.
What would be wrong with this scenario?
* Inquire about his relationship and it's state and if warranted:
Tell him you like him a lot.
He ends his relationship.
You guys start dating.
Nobody cheats, there is honesty and no bad "karma".
Cancer males have a very difficult time letting go. It sounds like he's just not over his ex-gf or ready to completely disconnect himself from her...and if you two wind up dating, it might be a rebound situation.
If you make your feelings known to him, and he decides that he'll end it...make sure he wants to be with YOU, and not just "someone". We Cancers can be pretty insecure sometimes and we need to hold onto something and feel wanted.
Just my 2 cents...
If you make your feelings known to him, and he decides that he'll end it...make sure he wants to be with YOU, and not just "someone". We Cancers can be pretty insecure sometimes and we need to hold onto something and feel wanted.
Just my 2 cents...
If she really has him she can't lose him by the actions of an outsider. If you can get him, he is yours and you'd be doing the "girlfriend" a big favour. It's perhaps nice if he breaks up with her before you do get it on, but if you someone thinks they can take away my significant other than by any means try with all your might. If you succeed, good riddance to her.
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