Advice needed.. I think i blew my chances with a g
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Earthgirl on Thursday, April 6, 2006 and has 71 replies.
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Hi Ya'll.. cool message board.
I'll get straight to the story.. hopefully one of you can shed some light on my situation.
Met a Cap online ( i'm a taurus ) and we CLICKED like crazy.
We were incredibly forthright and through my complete honesty and humour he opened up big time. We spoke for hours. Exchanged TONS of pics and webcammed and everything was going great. He wanted to meet right away.
I made him wait ( only 2 days mind you LOL)..
We met.
Most awkward and challenging date of my life.
I am super exuberant, warm, spontaneous and love to joke around. I'm unconventional and don't necessarily play by the rules.. (probably not very taurus -ish).
This Cap was so hard to read, we were much more comfortable on the phone than he was in front of me. He was so easily embarrassed by stuff I said and I felt him to be so uptight all the time, which broke my heart cuz I genuinely really dig this guy.. and felt so JUDGED. And he seemed to be so much more comfortable during all our previous conversations when we weren't facing eachother.
I thought through my warmth and humour and sex appeal, I could make him relax.
Well I did. Somewhat.
We went back to his place, and it got SOOOo much better. It was wonderful and hot and he relaxed and was just amazingly honest and passionate and admitted to me that I was the most "fun and confidant" girl he'd been with. Yes, we did "the deed"!!! I KNOW I KNOWW.. first date sex. Probably not good. Not a habit of mine, i swear. But it was sooooo awesome. He later told me how much he loves aggressive women.
Which I was with him.
Well, we felt great and I left. That night I sent him a "cute and funny" email telling him what a good time I had ( which on the whole, it was.. he made up for his cautiousness by the time we got back to his place).
PEOPLE, to my unbelievable horror.. this guy HAS NOT replied or called me back.
It's only been 4 days (you probably all think i need relax).. but my style is.. that when I do something.. I DO IT ALL THE WAY!! If I'm into someone, I wont try and hide it. I wont play games and I'll call. However, he's stressing me with his coolness, so other than my one email.. i'm not making an effort to call him.
But with Cap-boy here, I'm so vexed! Should I be the one to initiate? I really don't feel i should. I 'm not used to doing the chasing.
Did I make the biggest mistake by sleeping with him?
Do you think I'll hear from him again?
I'm NOT calling this guy. Don't want him to know that yes.. I dig him.
I'm gonna wait ( unless my patience gets the best of me)..
He's younger than me ( by 4 years).. he's incredibly mature and so DIFFERENT from me on some levels..which I find so intriguing. He's very successful, and very into his career which is appealing.
Yet.. I practically feel that the challenge of breaking down his wall with my warmth is so exciting.. I've seen the "relaxed" guy and really admire him.
Have I f(*@Ked up my chances with this guy?
Should I wait or did I embarrass him beyond the point of no return?
Any opinions appreciated.
Thanks and peace.
I'll get straight to the story.. hopefully one of you can shed some light on my situation.
Met a Cap online ( i'm a taurus ) and we CLICKED like crazy.
We were incredibly forthright and through my complete honesty and humour he opened up big time. We spoke for hours. Exchanged TONS of pics and webcammed and everything was going great. He wanted to meet right away.
I made him wait ( only 2 days mind you LOL)..
We met.
Most awkward and challenging date of my life.
I am super exuberant, warm, spontaneous and love to joke around. I'm unconventional and don't necessarily play by the rules.. (probably not very taurus -ish).
This Cap was so hard to read, we were much more comfortable on the phone than he was in front of me. He was so easily embarrassed by stuff I said and I felt him to be so uptight all the time, which broke my heart cuz I genuinely really dig this guy.. and felt so JUDGED. And he seemed to be so much more comfortable during all our previous conversations when we weren't facing eachother.
I thought through my warmth and humour and sex appeal, I could make him relax.
Well I did. Somewhat.
We went back to his place, and it got SOOOo much better. It was wonderful and hot and he relaxed and was just amazingly honest and passionate and admitted to me that I was the most "fun and confidant" girl he'd been with. Yes, we did "the deed"!!! I KNOW I KNOWW.. first date sex. Probably not good. Not a habit of mine, i swear. But it was sooooo awesome. He later told me how much he loves aggressive women.
Which I was with him. Well, we felt great and I left. That night I sent him a "cute and funny" email telling him what a good time I had ( which on the whole, it was.. he made up for his cautiousness by the time we got back to his place).
PEOPLE, to my unbelievable horror.. this guy HAS NOT replied or called me back.
It's only been 4 days (you probably all think i need relax).. but my style is.. that when I do something.. I DO IT ALL THE WAY!! If I'm into someone, I wont try and hide it. I wont play games and I'll call. However, he's stressing me with his coolness, so other than my one email.. i'm not making an effort to call him.
But with Cap-boy here, I'm so vexed! Should I be the one to initiate? I really don't feel i should. I 'm not used to doing the chasing.
Did I make the biggest mistake by sleeping with him?
Do you think I'll hear from him again?
I'm NOT calling this guy. Don't want him to know that yes.. I dig him.
I'm gonna wait ( unless my patience gets the best of me)..
He's younger than me ( by 4 years).. he's incredibly mature and so DIFFERENT from me on some levels..which I find so intriguing. He's very successful, and very into his career which is appealing.
Yet.. I practically feel that the challenge of breaking down his wall with my warmth is so exciting.. I've seen the "relaxed" guy and really admire him.
Have I f(*@Ked up my chances with this guy?
Should I wait or did I embarrass him beyond the point of no return?
Any opinions appreciated.
Thanks and peace.
Yikes... Cap. men like a challenge, and in general, not a good likelihood of potential future for this. But, I'd just definitely retreat and not call or contact him again. Maybe you can "recreate" the challenge. Hopefully, he's not too insecure or shy or whatnot to get back in touch if you've only called once.
Yeah.. I'm retreating all right. Way back into the deep deep frikkin' woods.
I'm the one who'se embarrassed! God. I really really hope I haven't screwed this up. I'm an idiot. A complete idiot.
No, I never did call this Cap-boy, just a casual email the night of our encounter. That's it. I haven't made any other form of contact.
And he was going on about how he likes "aggressive women".. Good lord! I'm not even the aggressive one usually.. I just felt like I needed to take the lead cuz his "caustiousness".. and total timidity which I found impeeding!!!!!
On another note, it got pretty kinky for us in the bedroom, and he was sharing things with me that he was "embarrassed" about..(that he claims to have never shared with other women).. things which I was totally cool with.
I told him it was ok.. too relax and that I was TOTALLY on the same wavelength as him. ( the details end there).
Other than the fact that he got the "full deal" on the first date, which I now regret, I'm wondering if he's also "embarrassed about the whole situation" ???
I never met someone so seriously cautious. Yet so intriguing...
God. I feel so .. well.. dumb.
I'm the one who'se embarrassed! God. I really really hope I haven't screwed this up. I'm an idiot. A complete idiot.
No, I never did call this Cap-boy, just a casual email the night of our encounter. That's it. I haven't made any other form of contact.
And he was going on about how he likes "aggressive women".. Good lord! I'm not even the aggressive one usually.. I just felt like I needed to take the lead cuz his "caustiousness".. and total timidity which I found impeeding!!!!!
On another note, it got pretty kinky for us in the bedroom, and he was sharing things with me that he was "embarrassed" about..(that he claims to have never shared with other women).. things which I was totally cool with.
I told him it was ok.. too relax and that I was TOTALLY on the same wavelength as him.
( the details end there).Other than the fact that he got the "full deal" on the first date, which I now regret, I'm wondering if he's also "embarrassed about the whole situation" ???
I never met someone so seriously cautious. Yet so intriguing...
God. I feel so .. well.. dumb.
Capgirlinlustwithleo -
thanks for that post! It made alot of sense. Yes, I'd like to pursue him, however, strangely enough, I'm not CHASING a relationship ( just got out of a 7 year taurus/taurust one last Sept ). On one hand, Capboy is Standoffishh and I take this as coldness and being uninterested.. or is he just insecure and feeling "redfaced"? This only time will tell I guess. But thanks for your words.
I've read in many places that yes, the boy caps like the chase but they also need others to initiate.. cuz they are SO IN THEIR OWN WORLDS!!! We'll see. I've gotta wait this one out.
Westcoastangel -
LOOOOOL!!! you're email killed me! What a similar situation!! Girlfriend, my date was Sunday. I'm not calling him either. Not now. And yes, just like you honey.. this "detached" guy is the one who'se sent me looking for any insight into his mysterious character!!!! And I'm GOING COOCOO!!!!!
Wow.. you're boy came back from Iraq! Crazy. Well.. I think you should just wait a little more.. see if he'll come around.. ( which he probably will ).. and if not, maybe at a later time, attempt taking initiative!
I do NOT want to seem desperate.. and want to be a mystery ( although having had sex with him, I wonder if that's possible lol??)
I'm waiting too.
By the way, what's your sign?
Just curious about your first encounter with him... didn't you find it so hard to get him to talk? For me, it was like I had to do the conversing.. and thinking back...I'm usually the listener and now I feel like such an idiot! BUT what was I supposed to do.. sit there and stare at eachother???? LOL..
God, and we couldn't shut up through the emails, conversations, phone chats etc.
Capboy was also highly embarassed about the whole ONLINE thing. He was totally ashamed of it!!! Meanwhile, I'm open about it and I think it's such a cool unique experience. Why not? Besides..isn't that what life is all about ? Experiences?
Keep me posted and what happens with your Cap. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you hon! xo
Earthgirl!!!
thanks for that post! It made alot of sense. Yes, I'd like to pursue him, however, strangely enough, I'm not CHASING a relationship ( just got out of a 7 year taurus/taurust one last Sept ). On one hand, Capboy is Standoffishh and I take this as coldness and being uninterested.. or is he just insecure and feeling "redfaced"? This only time will tell I guess. But thanks for your words.
I've read in many places that yes, the boy caps like the chase but they also need others to initiate.. cuz they are SO IN THEIR OWN WORLDS!!! We'll see. I've gotta wait this one out.
Westcoastangel -
LOOOOOL!!! you're email killed me! What a similar situation!! Girlfriend, my date was Sunday. I'm not calling him either. Not now. And yes, just like you honey.. this "detached" guy is the one who'se sent me looking for any insight into his mysterious character!!!! And I'm GOING COOCOO!!!!!
Wow.. you're boy came back from Iraq! Crazy. Well.. I think you should just wait a little more.. see if he'll come around.. ( which he probably will ).. and if not, maybe at a later time, attempt taking initiative!
I do NOT want to seem desperate.. and want to be a mystery ( although having had sex with him, I wonder if that's possible lol??)
I'm waiting too.
By the way, what's your sign?
Just curious about your first encounter with him... didn't you find it so hard to get him to talk? For me, it was like I had to do the conversing.. and thinking back...I'm usually the listener and now I feel like such an idiot! BUT what was I supposed to do.. sit there and stare at eachother???? LOL..
God, and we couldn't shut up through the emails, conversations, phone chats etc.
Capboy was also highly embarassed about the whole ONLINE thing. He was totally ashamed of it!!! Meanwhile, I'm open about it and I think it's such a cool unique experience. Why not? Besides..isn't that what life is all about ? Experiences?
Keep me posted and what happens with your Cap. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you hon! xo
Earthgirl!!!
Hey Sb,
I can see why you're saying that. (You're situation with your friend and my idiotical worry over Cap not calling). However, I can ASSURE YOU, that in every single one of my platonic relationships... I DESPISE phones. In fact, I tell people straight up.. I'm not a phone person. My best friend (who'se an Aries)..keeps worrying as to why I never call her, which just makes me want to call her less. LOL. So I don't know if it's a Taurus thing or just a personality and preference for phones thing. :/ Hmm... don't know.
But with my "relationships with men"...we've always been extremely "connected". Could it be that security thing that Taureans crave? Just thinking out loud
I can see why you're saying that. (You're situation with your friend and my idiotical worry over Cap not calling). However, I can ASSURE YOU, that in every single one of my platonic relationships... I DESPISE phones. In fact, I tell people straight up.. I'm not a phone person. My best friend (who'se an Aries)..keeps worrying as to why I never call her, which just makes me want to call her less. LOL. So I don't know if it's a Taurus thing or just a personality and preference for phones thing. :/ Hmm... don't know.
But with my "relationships with men"...we've always been extremely "connected". Could it be that security thing that Taureans crave? Just thinking out loud
SB: Thanks for your 2 cents It DOES help. Funny you mention to use HUMOUR TO DRAW HIM IN. Cuz that truly is my natural inclination with all I do. During our first encounter together.. I found relying on my humour (unconsciously of course).. cuz it seemed to be the only way he would relax. Of course, by the time things progressed, he became much much better.. but he still was the MOST SERIOUS uncommunicative guy I've ever gone out with and in fact, I felt a little ridiculous for being so "on" with him. So it may have backfired and now he's thinking (this chick was on crack? lol ) Although he did mention that he liked it So yeah.. I AIN'T CALLING. I'm playing the chase. Unless of course there isn't one and I'm sitting here thinking it!!! lol God, the more I think about it, the more I realize what a mistake it was. Although I must say for the record that "i initiated the closeness and set the comfort level".. but HE totally was the one to initiate actually having sex. I was so into it though..and we were laughing and having so much fun, that I simply thought..what the hell!! And went for it!!!
OH la la. I'm tired of thinking about all this stuff. If he calls, he calls.
Westcoastangel: nor will these 2 Caps in question ever come on here.. nor will they EVER find out that WE'VE come on here!!!!!!!!!!!!you bet your Sweet Bootie about that!!! LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL God.
I have a really good feeling about your guy. Just thinking about it, he's readjusting and I can only try to imagine everything he's just been through. No matter how strong or "together" a guy is, there's gotta be a HUGE readjustment period. SERIOUSLY. This 30 day rest period sounds GREAT!!!! And by the way sistah, I'm gonna learn from a gemini girl and play the game.
Peace.
P.S. yeah.. we totally have to keep eachother posted!
It DOES help. Funny you mention to use HUMOUR TO DRAW HIM IN. Cuz that truly is my natural inclination with all I do. During our first encounter together.. I found relying on my humour (unconsciously of course).. cuz it seemed to be the only way he would relax. Of course, by the time things progressed, he became much much better.. but he still was the MOST SERIOUS uncommunicative guy I've ever gone out with and in fact, I felt a little ridiculous for being so "on" with him. So it may have backfired and now he's thinking (this chick was on crack? lol ) Although he did mention that he liked it So yeah.. I AIN'T CALLING. I'm playing the chase. Unless of course there isn't one and I'm sitting here thinking it!!! lol God, the more I think about it, the more I realize what a mistake it was. Although I must say for the record that "i initiated the closeness and set the comfort level".. but HE totally was the one to initiate actually having sex. I was so into it though..and we were laughing and having so much fun, that I simply thought..what the hell!! And went for it!!! OH la la. I'm tired of thinking about all this stuff. If he calls, he calls.
Westcoastangel: nor will these 2 Caps in question ever come on here.. nor will they EVER find out that WE'VE come on here!!!!!!!!!!!!you bet your Sweet Bootie about that!!! LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL God.
I have a really good feeling about your guy. Just thinking about it, he's readjusting and I can only try to imagine everything he's just been through. No matter how strong or "together" a guy is, there's gotta be a HUGE readjustment period. SERIOUSLY. This 30 day rest period sounds GREAT!!!! And by the way sistah, I'm gonna learn from a gemini girl and play the game.
Peace.
P.S. yeah.. we totally have to keep eachother posted!
Well Earthgirl, take out membership of the "will he, won't he?" cap bandwagon..
Westcoastangel, Here's a question for ya.
You mention "playing the chase and making it fun".
I get that cuz in every past relationship (even the short term ones)..that was the usual deal.
However, in this case, as stupid as this may sound, how do I play the chase and MAKE IT FUN, when this person is simply not making contact.? (obviously, I don't want to be the one to call first).
Also, I hate thinking that here I am waiting (no expectations) but I do have hope! I also know that my last boyfriend was very timid and I definitely HAD TO SET THE PACE. There was a CHASE, but after the initial encounter, I was the one who had to initiate our next encounters (we both were taurus).
By the way.. I had a TOTAL ANXIETY dream about this Cappy. CAn you believe it? How ridiculous am I!!!(no need to answer, really!! lol I fully know on what level of "pathetic" i'm operating here! haha) My dream involved BLATANT COLD IN YOUR FACE REJECTION/IGNORING/PRETENDING like I don't EXIST etc.
Need to mention something MAJOR (which lead to this dream).. I went online last night to chat with a friend and Cappy happened to be logged on. His profile was permanently set to busy.. but I did log on, and I'm pretty sure he saw it. Well, there's no way of knowing for sure and this msn stuff can really drive people crazy! I know I can't make 100% conclusion by his "innactions", but nevertheless... this waiting around stuff SUCKS.
I would much rather he just tells me "honey, it was great, but it's not going any further".
Spoke with some buddies about this (guy friends, 2 geminis and a cappy), they all said: Let the guy come down from the experience. It was pretty intense and he's certainly feeling a little "confused " by it all. Maybe even scared that he "lost his cool and control". My capricorn friend then proceeded to suggest I wait another week and then suggest we hang out casually by giving him a call. In which case, if he's totally uninterested, then he wont even bother spending time with me.
Okay.. I know I'm reitterating all the same garbage.. I just needed to let it out.
If there are any CAPMEN out there... I'd be so curious to know what you would make of the situation!!
Thanks lovely people.
Earthgirl by way of Taurus.
You mention "playing the chase and making it fun".
I get that cuz in every past relationship (even the short term ones)..that was the usual deal.
However, in this case, as stupid as this may sound, how do I play the chase and MAKE IT FUN, when this person is simply not making contact.? (obviously, I don't want to be the one to call first).
Also, I hate thinking that here I am waiting (no expectations) but I do have hope! I also know that my last boyfriend was very timid and I definitely HAD TO SET THE PACE. There was a CHASE, but after the initial encounter, I was the one who had to initiate our next encounters (we both were taurus).
By the way.. I had a TOTAL ANXIETY dream about this Cappy. CAn you believe it? How ridiculous am I!!!(no need to answer, really!! lol I fully know on what level of "pathetic" i'm operating here! haha) My dream involved BLATANT COLD IN YOUR FACE REJECTION/IGNORING/PRETENDING like I don't EXIST etc.
Need to mention something MAJOR (which lead to this dream).. I went online last night to chat with a friend and Cappy happened to be logged on. His profile was permanently set to busy.. but I did log on, and I'm pretty sure he saw it. Well, there's no way of knowing for sure and this msn stuff can really drive people crazy! I know I can't make 100% conclusion by his "innactions", but nevertheless... this waiting around stuff SUCKS.
I would much rather he just tells me "honey, it was great, but it's not going any further".
Spoke with some buddies about this (guy friends, 2 geminis and a cappy), they all said: Let the guy come down from the experience. It was pretty intense and he's certainly feeling a little "confused " by it all. Maybe even scared that he "lost his cool and control". My capricorn friend then proceeded to suggest I wait another week and then suggest we hang out casually by giving him a call. In which case, if he's totally uninterested, then he wont even bother spending time with me.
Okay.. I know I'm reitterating all the same garbage.. I just needed to let it out.
If there are any CAPMEN out there... I'd be so curious to know what you would make of the situation!!
Thanks lovely people.
Earthgirl by way of Taurus.
Earth Girl,
I think u should call him, cause i know his not going to call u, coz he is not confident that if he'll call u, what will be your reaction. From inside he is struggling like a fish without a water, he definitely wants u to call him, I say pick up the phone and call him right now, then things will be just fine. Basically we caps have confidence problem, so whenever if u r dealing with a capricorn, u should take the first step always to make his insecurity lesser.
I think u should call him, cause i know his not going to call u, coz he is not confident that if he'll call u, what will be your reaction. From inside he is struggling like a fish without a water, he definitely wants u to call him, I say pick up the phone and call him right now, then things will be just fine. Basically we caps have confidence problem, so whenever if u r dealing with a capricorn, u should take the first step always to make his insecurity lesser.
Lots of Luck 2 u EG
Hey Cappyguy!!
So nice to hear the male perspective!! Big hugs! Thank you hon!
I'm usually so sure of myself with this sort of thing, but this guy was so COOL, COLLECTED and CALM that I too, am like a fish without water.. not knowing what his reaction will be. Worse situation: he says "not interested".. and I feel like crap for a little while and I move on!!! My world will not come to an end. And lessons will have been learned.
Also, I've sent him One email so the way I see, he had the opportunity to respond. Also, I logged on last night and noticed he was at his computer.. and nothing. He didn't make an effort to try me.
Not that I'm suited for everyone, but I never thought my warmth and humour could turn someone off..
(I know it wasn't our sexual chemistry cuz I can GUARANTEE that that was VERY VERY present hehe )
Cappyguy.. is it common for others to mistake a Capricorn Males quiet reserve, intelligence and lack of warmth for Snobbism? or even arrogance and disinterest?
Again, our last moments together were wonderful.. but I can't help to feel like the biggest dork here.
And everyone talks about THE CHASE and how important it is to a cap.. yet you're suggesting I call huh? Isn't that kind of like being the CHASER not the CHASED!?
Hmm. gotta seriously think about this one.
Thanks so much though for your input!
xo
Earthgirl
So nice to hear the male perspective!! Big hugs! Thank you hon!
I'm usually so sure of myself with this sort of thing, but this guy was so COOL, COLLECTED and CALM that I too, am like a fish without water.. not knowing what his reaction will be. Worse situation: he says "not interested".. and I feel like crap for a little while and I move on!!! My world will not come to an end. And lessons will have been learned.
Also, I've sent him One email so the way I see, he had the opportunity to respond. Also, I logged on last night and noticed he was at his computer.. and nothing. He didn't make an effort to try me.
Not that I'm suited for everyone, but I never thought my warmth and humour could turn someone off..
(I know it wasn't our sexual chemistry cuz I can GUARANTEE that that was VERY VERY present hehe )Cappyguy.. is it common for others to mistake a Capricorn Males quiet reserve, intelligence and lack of warmth for Snobbism? or even arrogance and disinterest?
Again, our last moments together were wonderful.. but I can't help to feel like the biggest dork here.
And everyone talks about THE CHASE and how important it is to a cap.. yet you're suggesting I call huh? Isn't that kind of like being the CHASER not the CHASED!?
Hmm. gotta seriously think about this one.
Thanks so much though for your input!
xo
Earthgirl
One more thing Cappyguy:
I was shocked when you said you Cap Men have a confidence problem!!!
Are you saying that that "so together" package and persona a Cap carries, in truth, hides a man who questions himself and isn't so sure afterall?
Could this be in any way related to why SO MANY cap men end up with women who are older than them? To be quite honest, 8 out of 10 times, I've seen Capmen date women who are their senior!! (Including this one I'm after!!! lol )
Although I must say that there is a quiet maturity that I find so appealing.
A modesty. God, it drives me absolutely insane and how intriguing I find it.
Ok. that's it for now. thanks again.
EG.
I was shocked when you said you Cap Men have a confidence problem!!!
Are you saying that that "so together" package and persona a Cap carries, in truth, hides a man who questions himself and isn't so sure afterall?
Could this be in any way related to why SO MANY cap men end up with women who are older than them? To be quite honest, 8 out of 10 times, I've seen Capmen date women who are their senior!! (Including this one I'm after!!! lol )
Although I must say that there is a quiet maturity that I find so appealing.
A modesty. God, it drives me absolutely insane and how intriguing I find it.
Ok. that's it for now. thanks again.
EG.
Cappyguy~~ could you give me an email address for you. I need to consult w/ you on something that I can't post here, and it's highly sensitive, involving my Cap. guy and a recent big step.
Earthgirl-- you are right... I am 7 yrs. older than mine...
Earthgirl-- you are right... I am 7 yrs. older than mine...
Oh, Earthgirl... I've just looked at my guy's natal chart again, and I knew he seemed sensitive and shy/insecure, and have now realized that he has moon conjunct neptune, moon sextile pluto, and neptune sextile pluto. His emotions are intense and his sensitivity is intense. If you can run a natal chart on him, it would help to determine if he's this type of Capricorn male.
Good idea!
Unfortunately though, I just ran a natal chart on him on the internet and I have NO IDEA how to read it! (I'm not a die hard.. although I'll have to rethink that Now that I've been living on this board for a couple of days!! lol )
Also, I do not know his time of birth, so I really don't know how accurate it is anyways.
Well, I'm gonna just face the music tomorrow I've decided.
I'm gonna call him (hopefully he'll pick up) and I'm gonna suggest we do something chill but fun, like and NBA game or something! Something where he wont feel so much pressure, in case he truly is embarrassed or lacking in confidence with me! (I've been told I have a BIG colourful confident personality! I swear.. I never meant to scare this guy away!!! )
By the way.. He's 4 years my junior. lol Not that much but when you're in your twenties.. it feels like alot! (he's 25 and I'm 29)
EG xo
Unfortunately though, I just ran a natal chart on him on the internet and I have NO IDEA how to read it! (I'm not a die hard.. although I'll have to rethink that Now that I've been living on this board for a couple of days!! lol )
Also, I do not know his time of birth, so I really don't know how accurate it is anyways.
Well, I'm gonna just face the music tomorrow I've decided.
I'm gonna call him (hopefully he'll pick up) and I'm gonna suggest we do something chill but fun, like and NBA game or something! Something where he wont feel so much pressure, in case he truly is embarrassed or lacking in confidence with me! (I've been told I have a BIG colourful confident personality! I swear.. I never meant to scare this guy away!!!
) By the way.. He's 4 years my junior. lol Not that much but when you're in your twenties.. it feels like alot! (he's 25 and I'm 29)
EG xo
EG-
Give me this birthdate, and place, time, if you want, and I'll take a look at it quickly for you.
Give me this birthdate, and place, time, if you want, and I'll take a look at it quickly for you.
Capgirl,that's really kind of you!
This is all I have:
Dec 22, 1980
Toronto, Canada
(no time known).
If you can't do it without the time, don't worry. I'll either not be needing it at all.. or I'll get it eventually.
I'm gonna call him today and either ge the cold shoulder or the not so cold shoulder. I'll prepare for the worst.
I'm kinda bummed. He put his picture back online tonight.
ahhhhhhhh... tomorrow I will have clarity.
Earthgirl.
This is all I have:
Dec 22, 1980
Toronto, Canada
(no time known).
If you can't do it without the time, don't worry. I'll either not be needing it at all.. or I'll get it eventually.
I'm gonna call him today and either ge the cold shoulder or the not so cold shoulder. I'll prepare for the worst.
I'm kinda bummed. He put his picture back online tonight.
ahhhhhhhh... tomorrow I will have clarity.
Earthgirl.
Here it is EG~~
256 Conjunction Sun - Mercury
Because your ego and your mind are aligned, you possess much mental energy. You are always in a position to think about what you want, and in many ways, this is an interruption of the will. You are highly intelligent with a great drive to communicate with other. You invest a lot of pride in your intellectual capacities. You may not always listen as well as you speak, however! You might be too busy thinking about what to say next. But you are very curious and although you enjoy expressing yourself, you usually don't dominate conversations completely. As far as studying or learning goes, you are better off reading the material than listening to a teacher. These traits come from a strong need to take an active role in communications. It is very hard for you to passively listen and absorb information.
Your opinions are usually strong and you are an independent thinker. You tend to be proud of your opinions and thoughts, and might easily get a bruised ego if you are not "heard", if your opinions are pushed aside or ignored, or if your opinions are criticized. You are expressive and possibly a very animated speaker. You are also very witty and others enjoy your playful and sometimes mischievous sense of humor.
81 Conjunction Sun - Neptune
There is an unmistakably dreamy, inspired, and sensitive side to you. A marked appreciation for music and the arts is present. The connection of Neptune with the Sun, which represents the ego and the will, certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart, adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality. You are naturally compassionate. It is so completely natural for you to accept that there is more to the world than what is before your eyes, that you tend to presume everyone must be spiritually-inclined. Of course, you come to realize that this is not the case at some early point in your life. Your attraction to spirituality and metaphysical subjects is usually marked. These aspects favor writers, artists, and musicians. You are sensitive to those who are suffering, although you are not usually taken advantage of. You are humanitarian and may have a special connection with animals. If other aspects and positions in the chart support it, you are not one to dominate others or assert yourself to the point of brashness. You have a fertile imagination, are full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that you may use on the professional level.
The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image.
Moon in Cancer
This is the most subjective position of the Moon. The Moon is "at home" in the sign of Cancer, as the Moon is the natural ruler of the sign. Moon in Cancer natives have a large potential to be able to get in touch with the feelings and moods of others. Often, they are quite wrapped up in themselves. Their memories of the past are outstanding, especially for all things emotional. Moon in Cancer people are never detached?they cling to things, their home, and people they care for. They seek out security and familiarity in all they do. They look for peace and quiet. Their attachment to all that is safe means they are a little leery of change. These peace-loving souls dislike superficiality in all of its forms. They are devoted and accommodating. The insecure ones accumulate things in an attempt to feel secure.
Because of their strong attachment to, and memory of, the past, others may complain that Moon in Cancer natives tend to whip a dead horse. They may dwell on hurts long after everyone else has moved on. When they feel they have been taken for granted (which may be often!), they don't always confront others directly. This is when they can use roundabout ways to get your attention. In fact, these natives, when they are insecure, can become quite manipulative. They can a
256 Conjunction Sun - Mercury
Because your ego and your mind are aligned, you possess much mental energy. You are always in a position to think about what you want, and in many ways, this is an interruption of the will. You are highly intelligent with a great drive to communicate with other. You invest a lot of pride in your intellectual capacities. You may not always listen as well as you speak, however! You might be too busy thinking about what to say next. But you are very curious and although you enjoy expressing yourself, you usually don't dominate conversations completely. As far as studying or learning goes, you are better off reading the material than listening to a teacher. These traits come from a strong need to take an active role in communications. It is very hard for you to passively listen and absorb information.
Your opinions are usually strong and you are an independent thinker. You tend to be proud of your opinions and thoughts, and might easily get a bruised ego if you are not "heard", if your opinions are pushed aside or ignored, or if your opinions are criticized. You are expressive and possibly a very animated speaker. You are also very witty and others enjoy your playful and sometimes mischievous sense of humor.
81 Conjunction Sun - Neptune
There is an unmistakably dreamy, inspired, and sensitive side to you. A marked appreciation for music and the arts is present. The connection of Neptune with the Sun, which represents the ego and the will, certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart, adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality. You are naturally compassionate. It is so completely natural for you to accept that there is more to the world than what is before your eyes, that you tend to presume everyone must be spiritually-inclined. Of course, you come to realize that this is not the case at some early point in your life. Your attraction to spirituality and metaphysical subjects is usually marked. These aspects favor writers, artists, and musicians. You are sensitive to those who are suffering, although you are not usually taken advantage of. You are humanitarian and may have a special connection with animals. If other aspects and positions in the chart support it, you are not one to dominate others or assert yourself to the point of brashness. You have a fertile imagination, are full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that you may use on the professional level.
The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image.
Moon in Cancer
This is the most subjective position of the Moon. The Moon is "at home" in the sign of Cancer, as the Moon is the natural ruler of the sign. Moon in Cancer natives have a large potential to be able to get in touch with the feelings and moods of others. Often, they are quite wrapped up in themselves. Their memories of the past are outstanding, especially for all things emotional. Moon in Cancer people are never detached?they cling to things, their home, and people they care for. They seek out security and familiarity in all they do. They look for peace and quiet. Their attachment to all that is safe means they are a little leery of change. These peace-loving souls dislike superficiality in all of its forms. They are devoted and accommodating. The insecure ones accumulate things in an attempt to feel secure.
Because of their strong attachment to, and memory of, the past, others may complain that Moon in Cancer natives tend to whip a dead horse. They may dwell on hurts long after everyone else has moved on. When they feel they have been taken for granted (which may be often!), they don't always confront others directly. This is when they can use roundabout ways to get your attention. In fact, these natives, when they are insecure, can become quite manipulative. They can a
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! THat was very generous of you
And now, i have alot of "studying" and more theorizing in my head of "should i or shouldn't i" lol
Thanks again
Earthgirl
And now, i have alot of "studying" and more theorizing in my head of "should i or shouldn't i" lol
Thanks again
Earthgirl
HEHE : )
Yes, I'm happy. (Sort of!!)
Thank God I listened to Cappyguy (Thanks so much for your input).
After much deliaberation, and nerves, I got ready for the worst and called my CAPBOY!!!! (Remember he hadn't called all week).
Well, not only was he VERY VERY HAPPY to hear from me, I can actually confirm that YES, HE WAS GIDDY!! LOL ( A man giddy.. who knew? lol.. well, in a manly way!!) We talked for a little while and I told him in a very relaxed and humourous way that we should hang out.. ( He has a bad cold and had been home from work for a day or two).
He was VERY WELCOMING to th idea. He even went on to ask my why I didn't go on MSN..that he had looked for me all week to no avail . hehe
I told him that I logged on once or twice but I DO NOT message people who have their status to busy.
HE also told me he was planning on clubbing with his buddies that night but was probably gonna stay home instead cuz of his bad cold. So that yeah.. we should hangout if it's something chill. Just as I was to suggest something for our evening...when everything was going great..we unfortunately got interrupted by a call from his Mom.
He came back to my line, energy and voice changed, and said that we'd have to "talk later" cuz something very serious is going on at home. (??) I actually sort of "asked" him if it was ok for me to call him back later. (someone hit me for saying this!!! I guess I wanted to know that I had to option...) I was sincerely hoping to perform a little Taurean sensual healing magic on him that night!!! Which has NEVER failed ) I called him back about 7 hours later, and left a simple message on his cell phone saying that I was calling back.
Nothing.
So in a big way, this is good. Because I know he's interested. BUT in another big way.. I'm REALLY not used to being the one doing the chasing. I'm now CONVINCED that when this guy said he LIKES AGGRESSIVE WOMEN, he WAS NOT kidding!LOL It's really hard for me though to proceed as the one being "in charge".. I DO NOT like it and In my very extensive relationship and dating experience, I've NEVER been the one to "hunt down a guy! ".. SHEEESHHH!!!
Anyways, the ball is in his court. I left him a message and if he wants to call me back, he can. Maybe something really bad went on at home..maybe not.. maybe it was an excuse (although I kinda doubt it.. he seemed quite sincere.. but GOD KNOWS!)..
I'm Bummed about his "aloofness" and seemed insecurity but I guess this is the way this capboy operates. I really think I now have to just hang out do my thing and let him find me.
I have tickets to something I KNOW he would LOVE for next friday...which I never had the chance to mention to him. I'm afraid he wont call again and this week will be another game of "will he or wont he". I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!! I've heard Capguys move slow, but this is NOT proactive. LOL
Should I call him on Wednesday, continue to be the "forward girl" and offer him the suggestion of joining me to this "thing" on Friday? Or perhaps I should just move on and give him the opportunity to display a little more "aggressivity"..
Thing is, I'm highly intuitive and I really think I have a great opportunity with this guy. I've gone out on "first dates" with others.. and nothing compares. He and I have something.. I know it. ANd I know he knows it too. I really believe he's just kinda "in his own world".
Why are caps so reserved? Anyone else know shy caps ( males ones?)
Just wanted to update you. And yes, I'm glad I called him.
But now I'm back to square one!!! (sigh)...
Westcoastangel..any news?
Earthgirl.
Yes, I'm happy. (Sort of!!)
Thank God I listened to Cappyguy (Thanks so much for your input).
After much deliaberation, and nerves, I got ready for the worst and called my CAPBOY!!!! (Remember he hadn't called all week).
Well, not only was he VERY VERY HAPPY to hear from me, I can actually confirm that YES, HE WAS GIDDY!! LOL ( A man giddy.. who knew? lol.. well, in a manly way!!) We talked for a little while and I told him in a very relaxed and humourous way that we should hang out.. ( He has a bad cold and had been home from work for a day or two).
He was VERY WELCOMING to th idea. He even went on to ask my why I didn't go on MSN..that he had looked for me all week to no avail . hehe
I told him that I logged on once or twice but I DO NOT message people who have their status to busy.
HE also told me he was planning on clubbing with his buddies that night but was probably gonna stay home instead cuz of his bad cold. So that yeah.. we should hangout if it's something chill. Just as I was to suggest something for our evening...when everything was going great..we unfortunately got interrupted by a call from his Mom.
He came back to my line, energy and voice changed, and said that we'd have to "talk later" cuz something very serious is going on at home. (??) I actually sort of "asked" him if it was ok for me to call him back later. (someone hit me for saying this!!! I guess I wanted to know that I had to option...) I was sincerely hoping to perform a little Taurean sensual healing magic on him that night!!! Which has NEVER failed
) I called him back about 7 hours later, and left a simple message on his cell phone saying that I was calling back. Nothing.
So in a big way, this is good. Because I know he's interested. BUT in another big way.. I'm REALLY not used to being the one doing the chasing. I'm now CONVINCED that when this guy said he LIKES AGGRESSIVE WOMEN, he WAS NOT kidding!LOL It's really hard for me though to proceed as the one being "in charge".. I DO NOT like it and In my very extensive relationship and dating experience, I've NEVER been the one to "hunt down a guy! ".. SHEEESHHH!!!
Anyways, the ball is in his court. I left him a message and if he wants to call me back, he can. Maybe something really bad went on at home..maybe not.. maybe it was an excuse (although I kinda doubt it.. he seemed quite sincere.. but GOD KNOWS!)..
I'm Bummed about his "aloofness" and seemed insecurity but I guess this is the way this capboy operates. I really think I now have to just hang out do my thing and let him find me.
I have tickets to something I KNOW he would LOVE for next friday...which I never had the chance to mention to him. I'm afraid he wont call again and this week will be another game of "will he or wont he". I CAN'T TAKE THIS!!!! I've heard Capguys move slow, but this is NOT proactive. LOL
Should I call him on Wednesday, continue to be the "forward girl" and offer him the suggestion of joining me to this "thing" on Friday? Or perhaps I should just move on and give him the opportunity to display a little more "aggressivity"..
Thing is, I'm highly intuitive and I really think I have a great opportunity with this guy. I've gone out on "first dates" with others.. and nothing compares. He and I have something.. I know it. ANd I know he knows it too. I really believe he's just kinda "in his own world".
Why are caps so reserved? Anyone else know shy caps ( males ones?)
Just wanted to update you. And yes, I'm glad I called him.
But now I'm back to square one!!! (sigh)...
Westcoastangel..any news?
Earthgirl.
You all are cracking me up! I'm happy for you, EG! Sounds like it went well... Many of these guys have strong family ties/commitments which seems to be going on for both of you- EG and WestCoast. I've encountered the same, where I've suggested a weekend plan and he's going out of town to his family's- once to babysit all weekend, which I nearly couldn't believe but true. The one I've been dealing w/ for 18 months is shy also, at least since things have become more serious... He has also told me to call him, like when were to be getting together later that evening... I waited around for a couple hours thinking he'd just call me but I had to call and turns out he'd been waiting for my call. Anyway, I think you'll learn as EG is that you're going to have to step outside your comfort zone w/ these types and do some chasing. I was of the exact same mindset that I would be a challenge and hard to get to separate myself from "all the others" he must be talking to. It won't work for long to sustain things w/ him...
I wouldn't advise "flipping the script" with these guys, if you're sensing that they are sensitive, shy and a bit insecure. It took me a long time to realize that my sarcasm and sassy attitude were working against me alot of the time, especially in text messages and emails where the flirting or joking tone can not truly come through to offset the bitiness of the quippy remark.
EG~ I think you should call him on Wed. if you haven't heard back. From everything I know and have read, if he had not wanted to talk to you yesterday, he would not have answered the phone. They have no problem disappearing and making themselves unavailable, so his taking your call was proof in itself that he wanted to talk to you and the his tone and attitude were not fake. Just keep your confidence and self-assuredness as hard as it is, and give a little more than you normally might w/ other guys... until and unless you see clear signs of rejection or disinterest.
I wouldn't advise "flipping the script" with these guys, if you're sensing that they are sensitive, shy and a bit insecure. It took me a long time to realize that my sarcasm and sassy attitude were working against me alot of the time, especially in text messages and emails where the flirting or joking tone can not truly come through to offset the bitiness of the quippy remark.
EG~ I think you should call him on Wed. if you haven't heard back. From everything I know and have read, if he had not wanted to talk to you yesterday, he would not have answered the phone. They have no problem disappearing and making themselves unavailable, so his taking your call was proof in itself that he wanted to talk to you and the his tone and attitude were not fake. Just keep your confidence and self-assuredness as hard as it is, and give a little more than you normally might w/ other guys... until and unless you see clear signs of rejection or disinterest.
God these posts are getting longer by the day..
You said it MM....LOL
You girls r doing great, follow your instinct and be true to your heart, they find that very attractive.
You girls r doing great, follow your instinct and be true to your heart, they find that very attractive.
Hello Ladies ( and any gentleman who may be reading this )
I'll try and make this short not to piss off Missmorals! lol
Westcoastangel: Since easter is in a week, and you are expecting him back in town, I would wait for him to call you, BUT.. should he not call you by Sunday, I would call him with the "excuse" of sending him Easter wishes. God, it's hillarious how these caps have us thinking our every move huh? LOL So damn MYSTERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!
Capgirl and Stardance: thanks for you advice. I'm so not into these "aloof games". Something tells me though, to these cap men, there are no games.. It's just life to them. I think they are a little unaware of the effect they may leave on people, in their wake! lol
I will LIKELY be calling him. I am scared due to the uncertainty. It's so hard to read this man. And his lack of action has me feeling alot less secure than I usually would be in a dating situation. FYI, he hasn't called me back since I left him a message yesterday. Oh well. My cap friend (girl) was laughing today cuz she told me, SHE NEVER returns calls!! lol We'll see. Like you said Capgirl, this is going WAY WAY WAYYYY out of my comfort zone. Very uncomfortable situation. What's up with men like this? Yet I still want him!! LOL
Take care everyone.. and Westcoastangel.. in 6/7 days.. you'll hopefully hear from your guy. YOu guys had been communicating for months while he was away.. and we all know how the internet can be quite intimate. I'm sure he doesn't forget that bond you've developped over that time. Have faith. I'm certain he'll come around.
Peace everyone.
Earthgirl (so this is not that short afterall! lol )
I'll try and make this short not to piss off Missmorals!
lolWestcoastangel: Since easter is in a week, and you are expecting him back in town, I would wait for him to call you, BUT.. should he not call you by Sunday, I would call him with the "excuse" of sending him Easter wishes. God, it's hillarious how these caps have us thinking our every move huh? LOL So damn MYSTERIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!
Capgirl and Stardance: thanks for you advice. I'm so not into these "aloof games". Something tells me though, to these cap men, there are no games.. It's just life to them. I think they are a little unaware of the effect they may leave on people, in their wake!
lol I will LIKELY be calling him. I am scared due to the uncertainty. It's so hard to read this man. And his lack of action has me feeling alot less secure than I usually would be in a dating situation. FYI, he hasn't called me back since I left him a message yesterday. Oh well. My cap friend (girl) was laughing today cuz she told me, SHE NEVER returns calls!! lol We'll see. Like you said Capgirl, this is going WAY WAY WAYYYY out of my comfort zone. Very uncomfortable situation. What's up with men like this? Yet I still want him!! LOL
Take care everyone.. and Westcoastangel.. in 6/7 days.. you'll hopefully hear from your guy. YOu guys had been communicating for months while he was away.. and we all know how the internet can be quite intimate. I'm sure he doesn't forget that bond you've developped over that time. Have faith. I'm certain he'll come around.
Peace everyone.
Earthgirl
(so this is not that short afterall! lol )Capgirl,
You said:
"It took me a long time to realize that my sarcasm and sassy attitude were working against me alot of the time, especially in text messages and emails where the flirting or joking tone can not truly come through to offset the bitiness of the quippy remark."
HOLY CRAP! yes, at first I thought he just didn't have a sense of humour..wh but I'm TOTALLY with you on that one! ( I know they have a sense of humour.. I think they simply have this this heightened sensitivity or something).
EG.
You said:
"It took me a long time to realize that my sarcasm and sassy attitude were working against me alot of the time, especially in text messages and emails where the flirting or joking tone can not truly come through to offset the bitiness of the quippy remark."
HOLY CRAP! yes, at first I thought he just didn't have a sense of humour..wh but I'm TOTALLY with you on that one!
( I know they have a sense of humour.. I think they simply have this this heightened sensitivity or something). EG.
I'm totally new to this and I have something to share. More importantly, I need tons of advice. Here's my story. I met a cap guy online (long distance) a month ago, and we CLICKED like crazy. First we exchanged a few emails, tons of pics, then he sent me his number and we've been talking on the phone (3+ hours) every couple of days. For the first time in my life, I feel like I've met the 'right' guy. We connect in every possible way. Except there's one problem. He's a capricorn, and I'm a leo. I've noticed he disappears every once in a while, hardly ever calls.. it's always me who has to initiate contact. I almost feel as though I'm 'chasing' him, yet deep inside I know he genuinely feels the same way for me as I do for him.
Then one night, we were talking on phone through the night and for the first time ever, we developed this closeness with each other that was sooo wonderful I can't explain in words. And then, to my horror, he disappeared, not for two days or three days, but a FULL WEEK! I started to freak out, and analyze like crazy everything single we talked about, in case I had said something he disapproved of. I couldn't think of anything.... since till the last seconds of that phone conversation, we were so into each other that neither of us wanted to hang up.
I lost all patience (mind u I'm a leo and super impulsive!) and decided to send him an email. Basically, what I said in that email was(maybe i shouldn't have said this since I've heard that cap guys get really jealous) "I've had several guys genuinely interested in me and I do attract men whereever I go (he knows i'm attractive), but that I love talking him. However, i'm repeatedly feeling that each time we talk, i'm the one who has to initiate contact. I feel as though if i dont call him for two weeks, I won't hear from him either. Each time we talk, he pulls me a step closer to him, and then pushes me back with the same intensity. This is becoming a pattern, and its wearing me out. Then i also said that we can only learn to appreciate and understand each other in time, but thats only possible if both of us are willing to make an effort." I wanted to know if he is willing....
Now I feel like I've blown my chances with him, because he hasn't responded to my e-mail in 2 DAYS now, and he checks his email regularly! I'm literally flipping. Did i say too much? Did I talk about my feelings for him too soon in our relationship, enough to chase him away? What should I do if he doesn't write back? Should I wait a couple more days and try to contact him myself? Can someone (any cap guy or girl, or someone who has enough experience with caps) give me any advice on this? I will really really appreciate your input.
Then one night, we were talking on phone through the night and for the first time ever, we developed this closeness with each other that was sooo wonderful I can't explain in words. And then, to my horror, he disappeared, not for two days or three days, but a FULL WEEK! I started to freak out, and analyze like crazy everything single we talked about, in case I had said something he disapproved of. I couldn't think of anything.... since till the last seconds of that phone conversation, we were so into each other that neither of us wanted to hang up.
I lost all patience (mind u I'm a leo and super impulsive!) and decided to send him an email. Basically, what I said in that email was(maybe i shouldn't have said this since I've heard that cap guys get really jealous) "I've had several guys genuinely interested in me and I do attract men whereever I go (he knows i'm attractive), but that I love talking him. However, i'm repeatedly feeling that each time we talk, i'm the one who has to initiate contact. I feel as though if i dont call him for two weeks, I won't hear from him either. Each time we talk, he pulls me a step closer to him, and then pushes me back with the same intensity. This is becoming a pattern, and its wearing me out. Then i also said that we can only learn to appreciate and understand each other in time, but thats only possible if both of us are willing to make an effort." I wanted to know if he is willing....
Now I feel like I've blown my chances with him, because he hasn't responded to my e-mail in 2 DAYS now, and he checks his email regularly! I'm literally flipping. Did i say too much? Did I talk about my feelings for him too soon in our relationship, enough to chase him away? What should I do if he doesn't write back? Should I wait a couple more days and try to contact him myself? Can someone (any cap guy or girl, or someone who has enough experience with caps) give me any advice on this? I will really really appreciate your input.
West Coast chickie.... I know that's the self-assured, confident girl mindset but it's not always the winning approach w/ these guys... You just have to test, and see what works, and try to maintain a balance and your dignity. It's what you can live with and what effort you're willing to put forth yet still maintain your pride. WC- I had 90 days, NINETY, of basically being ignored.... this was after I'd sent a homicidal (suicidal?) email talking about "a relationship" and what was he looking for...??? The dude went MIA for 3 months, and then reappears, obviously tiptoeing around me, being as kind as you can be on the IM. Anyway--- I'm still not convinced that it's acceptable behavior, cap. or no cap., so it's TBD....
Who would've thought though... I just recently resorting to a "storming" tactic... where I showed up at his place unannounced. Never thought this man would answer his door, but it worked and I got my face time and he seemed pleasantly surprised and even impressed with my aggressive spontanaeity. So... just saying, that these guys are not known for being longterm chasers. It seems so in the beginning, but it doesn't stay that way, and why should it... men like to feel wanted and desired too.
Who would've thought though... I just recently resorting to a "storming" tactic... where I showed up at his place unannounced. Never thought this man would answer his door, but it worked and I got my face time and he seemed pleasantly surprised and even impressed with my aggressive spontanaeity. So... just saying, that these guys are not known for being longterm chasers. It seems so in the beginning, but it doesn't stay that way, and why should it... men like to feel wanted and desired too.
CAPGIRL!!! I gotta love you buuuutt....
YOU DID WWWWHHHHATTTT????...LOL.
H*ll, if someone sent me a suicidal/homocidal e-mail and then showed up at my front door unexpectedly....You bet your a** I'm gonna act happy as h*ll to see you!!!
You know I'm a big time joker right???...No offense!!
YOU DID WWWWHHHHATTTT????...LOL.
H*ll, if someone sent me a suicidal/homocidal e-mail and then showed up at my front door unexpectedly....You bet your a** I'm gonna act happy as h*ll to see you!!!
You know I'm a big time joker right???...No offense!!
LOL! this is hillarious.
Although.. I REFUSE to give advice cuz I OFFICIALLY SUCK THE BIG ONE!!!
Guess what I did people: I was online, and so was he (logged into a dating website).. something very funny happened to me and so I messaged him and told him.. short sweet.. i asked him how his "hunt was going" ... he read it, didn't message back.
I called him 20 mins later (someone smash me over the head with a vase or something).. laughing.. telling my story..he was still sick with a cold..it was quick but he was distracted..I told him I just called to say heh..there was a total pause.. he said he was working on msn.. to which I replied.."you're as bad as me.. working at home".. and then he said: not usually. But i've missed two days work so I'm catching up.
He was totally distracted and excused himself. Asked me if I was logged on to Msn... and we'd talk later.
SO PEOPLE!! I FEEL LIKE I GOT THE ULTIMATE KISSOFF!!! I don't even believe he was working. I don't know why..it's just me.
hon, caps are hard to read.. I agree that the chase is good, i'm not disappointed I initiated contact the first time cuz I TRULY think these guys SUCK at initiating contact.. god. I don't even know what i'm saying. I feel like I just blew the whole thing!!!! Now I really don't know if I should even consider asking him to go see a basketball thing. But maybe I will, that way I can finally ask him : WTF buddy? If you're totally not into me, just f(*KIN spit it out!!!!! Sorry people I SERIOUSLY needed to vent. Feel free to tell me how stupid i am.
Sorry if I can't give good advice.
It depends on the guy. That's for sure.
Earthgirl
Although.. I REFUSE to give advice cuz I OFFICIALLY SUCK THE BIG ONE!!!
Guess what I did people: I was online, and so was he (logged into a dating website).. something very funny happened to me and so I messaged him and told him.. short sweet.. i asked him how his "hunt was going" ... he read it, didn't message back.
I called him 20 mins later (someone smash me over the head with a vase or something).. laughing.. telling my story..he was still sick with a cold..it was quick but he was distracted..I told him I just called to say heh..there was a total pause.. he said he was working on msn.. to which I replied.."you're as bad as me.. working at home".. and then he said: not usually. But i've missed two days work so I'm catching up.
He was totally distracted and excused himself. Asked me if I was logged on to Msn... and we'd talk later.
SO PEOPLE!! I FEEL LIKE I GOT THE ULTIMATE KISSOFF!!! I don't even believe he was working. I don't know why..it's just me.
hon, caps are hard to read.. I agree that the chase is good, i'm not disappointed I initiated contact the first time cuz I TRULY think these guys SUCK at initiating contact.. god. I don't even know what i'm saying. I feel like I just blew the whole thing!!!! Now I really don't know if I should even consider asking him to go see a basketball thing. But maybe I will, that way I can finally ask him : WTF buddy? If you're totally not into me, just f(*KIN spit it out!!!!! Sorry people I SERIOUSLY needed to vent. Feel free to tell me how stupid i am.
Sorry if I can't give good advice.
It depends on the guy. That's for sure.
Earthgirl
OK. Leo-girl-with-cap. I'm trying to calm down from my royal fukcup and I want to give you some advice. I think you should hold off calling him. At least for a little while. Wait at LEAST a week. If you were very direct, frank and honest in your email... yes, he may have gotten more than he bargained for but if you two have been getting closer as you said, this is all stuff to make him think. This coming and going sounds like typical cap behaviour. I think he'll come back. I do. Just be a little more patient. Wait a week and re-evaluate. Maybe two.
Yes, waiting is hard.. I suck at it (although I SERIOUSLY am in a different position, afterall.. i got "physical" with my guy on the first date!!..OK I have to stop reminding myself of what an idiot I am).
Sweetie, just wait. I don't think making him chase forever is the answer..but wait a little.
I know how frustrated you are about the "initiating contact"..it seems to be the way with these boys.
Earthgirl
Yes, waiting is hard.. I suck at it (although I SERIOUSLY am in a different position, afterall.. i got "physical" with my guy on the first date!!..OK I have to stop reminding myself of what an idiot I am).
Sweetie, just wait. I don't think making him chase forever is the answer..but wait a little.
I know how frustrated you are about the "initiating contact"..it seems to be the way with these boys.
Earthgirl
Totally agree with you SB, about me not calling. You can bet your sweet bootie about that. In fact, I'm not even counting on him calling me.
I will survive. And keep my pants tied lol (sorry, couldn't help myself! )
The thing that got me is that it kinda sounded like he was "chuckling" in the middle of a conversation with someone else. So I totally imagined he was "fibbing about working and probably chatting with another chick".. but c'est la vie, he is not MY GUY and he can do what he likes! Hard lesson learned.
I like what Westcoastgirl says: Think yourself as the prize! It's good.
Peace yall.
I will survive. And keep my pants tied
lol (sorry, couldn't help myself! )The thing that got me is that it kinda sounded like he was "chuckling" in the middle of a conversation with someone else. So I totally imagined he was "fibbing about working and probably chatting with another chick".. but c'est la vie, he is not MY GUY and he can do what he likes! Hard lesson learned.
I like what Westcoastgirl says: Think yourself as the prize!
It's good. Peace yall.
EG~ You've got to step it back, girl, which you already realize. I assume it's the same dating site you met him on, at least I hope? Bc. you were basically busting his chops, and putting him in an awkward spot, sorta. When he didn't respond to IM or email, I would not have called him up. Must respect their privacy and sensitivity... You may want to write this one off and find a new one to practice on. LOL The whole online dating circumstances and "the goodies" being out of the jar have you at a disadvantage, and these guys are difficult to deal with even if you're able to just dangle goodies in front of their nose!
WC~ I didn't really send a homicidal/suicidal email!? I just meant it was the "kiss of death," asking him what he was looking for... I think you got that perhaps and were being off the wall funny.
How old are you newbies? Seem young... I'm 36.
WC~ I didn't really send a homicidal/suicidal email!? I just meant it was the "kiss of death," asking him what he was looking for... I think you got that perhaps and were being off the wall funny.
How old are you newbies? Seem young...
I'm 36.Capgirl, I'm a little younger than you.. if that's what you're implying. 28 (29 in a couple of weeks)
However, for the record, I have always done really well on the dating front. (Just wanted to put that out there lol lol ) I realize though, this online stuff is SO NOT my bag. I do much better up front in person. Cuz truly, when ppl meet in person initialy and get to know them over time, even if it's SHORT amount of time, you see eachother's colors and you know right away what their intentions are.. you can just tell. THat's my experience. I've never had issues meeting men, dating them or holding relationships with them, or having casual flings when that's all I wanted. I'm currently NOT looking for a husband or SERIOUS boyfriend as I recently (6 months ago) broke up with what I thought was my soulmate. I'm just putting myself out there. That's all. Getting to know others. This Cap and I really hit it off..so I thought it would be fun for companionship/friends.. etc (should it happen). His hormones and mine got the best of me. Although to me, there seemed to be ALOT more than just great physical chemistry.
However, if Sex is all a guy is looking for online, he should certainly be upfront about it. I can TRULY appreciate that. THis guy I've been telling you all about did NOT make it seem this way at all. However, perhaps because I "gave it all away so quickly", it destroyed the mystery and he no longer seemed to have interest.
I'm still not sure about him, but I better close that door I think.
I'm extremely warm but upfront about stuff. I'd like to "spend time" with this guy..of the NON SEXUAL sort hehe, but I'm not even being given the chance.
Yes, you are 100% right, I should have NEVER called him. I wish I could rewind and take it back, however, we learn from our mistakes. I did take his disinterest and alleged "busy-ness doing work" last night as "sorry baby, not into you"... even if some say this is General Cap behaviour. Hard for me to comprehend considering, when I want to talk to someone, and they call me, I will drop what I'm doing and enjoy the conversation (unless I'm at work ). Yes, he did say he was "working on MSN.." but WHO WORKS on MSN? lol
That's it for now.
EG.
P.S. Yes, we were both logged on to the same dating site we met on.
Thanks everyone for your advice, you've all been great.
28 (29 in a couple of weeks)However, for the record, I have always done really well on the dating front. (Just wanted to put that out there lol lol ) I realize though, this online stuff is SO NOT my bag. I do much better up front in person. Cuz truly, when ppl meet in person initialy and get to know them over time, even if it's SHORT amount of time, you see eachother's colors and you know right away what their intentions are.. you can just tell. THat's my experience. I've never had issues meeting men, dating them or holding relationships with them, or having casual flings when that's all I wanted. I'm currently NOT looking for a husband or SERIOUS boyfriend as I recently (6 months ago) broke up with what I thought was my soulmate. I'm just putting myself out there. That's all. Getting to know others. This Cap and I really hit it off..so I thought it would be fun for companionship/friends.. etc (should it happen). His hormones and mine got the best of me.
Although to me, there seemed to be ALOT more than just great physical chemistry.However, if Sex is all a guy is looking for online, he should certainly be upfront about it. I can TRULY appreciate that. THis guy I've been telling you all about did NOT make it seem this way at all. However, perhaps because I "gave it all away so quickly", it destroyed the mystery and he no longer seemed to have interest.
I'm still not sure about him, but I better close that door I think.
I'm extremely warm but upfront about stuff. I'd like to "spend time" with this guy..of the NON SEXUAL sort hehe, but I'm not even being given the chance.
Yes, you are 100% right, I should have NEVER called him. I wish I could rewind and take it back, however, we learn from our mistakes. I did take his disinterest and alleged "busy-ness doing work" last night as "sorry baby, not into you"... even if some say this is General Cap behaviour. Hard for me to comprehend considering, when I want to talk to someone, and they call me, I will drop what I'm doing and enjoy the conversation (unless I'm at work ). Yes, he did say he was "working on MSN.." but WHO WORKS on MSN? lol
That's it for now.
EG.
P.S. Yes, we were both logged on to the same dating site we met on.
Thanks everyone for your advice, you've all been great.
Hi Earthgirl!
I have been off the site for awhile and I was reading your post I felt the need to respond. I can feel your pain. LOL! Your Cap is not gone. What you did with him on the first night was not done in vain. I am currently dating a Cap and for some reason, I keep attracting them haha! right Caprgirl?
Anywho, Taurus women are very aggressive and when WE like someone we give it our all. What WE don't like is all the games. We will play the games and after awhile it gets boring. My advice is to back off for a little while, he will contact you. I go through this on a weekly basis. I find myself doing all the "initiating" and it doesn't bother me becuase all I have really dated are Caps (a Cancer or Scorp here and there but generally Caps). But they do like agressiveness and firmness. They are ALL TRUE momma's boys so you're basically treating them like there mother would treat them. SAD, but true. Before you do anything else with this guy, ask yourself this "what am I really looking for?" The less expectations you have on a Cap the further you will get with them (at least in the begininning). It's ok to call them more than they call you. You have to remember that they are always in testing mode and they desire to be loved, but they also like there women to be independent of them, yet soft and feminine. They do not like needy women and Taurus women are not needy. But in order to win there hearts here a strategy:
You first draw them in. Basicially, you are just dating, having fun (do not mention relationship in the beginining) You are doing what they like and showing interest in what they like, while maintaining your individuality. Basically acting like you have a life. Sound difficult? It's not. Let them do all the pursuing in the beginning. Caps have to trust you before they give you anything or confide in you. You will know if your Cap likes you by how much he gives you and tells you. They love to be pampered and they adore gifts. Be prepared because you will be the giver in this relationship. When they do give, they give from there heart, so if they give you something you don't like, NEVER say anything, just accept it and move on. This is just the first part of it all. There is more. Coming later.
But my general advice is to back off for a minute. They are highly sensitive and insecure. Build up his strengths and compliment him. They love that. If he pisses you off, let him know in a firm voice and why he pissed you off. Screaming at them scares the crap out them. Caps come off COLD, but always remember everything is always based around money and building a future for themselves. It's not about you. So if they disappear, let them, when he is ready, he will be back. Then he may say something like this: "Why haven't I heard from you?" knowing darn well YOU have been calling him and blowing up his phone. HUH? Just change the subject and talk about something else. That's just how they are. Also remember Cap men will always have a back up plan, so if he's on the site, he's just covering his base's and exploring his options and there's one more thing I've learned and that is if they really like a woman, they will put on the brakes and think about it so you may not hear from him for a while and if they like one woman more, they will have other options to balance out there emotions, this is not always the case, just sometimes. So you didn't scare him away, you just blew his mind! Taurus women are VERY sensual and so are Scorpios so they can't resist us LOL!
This is just a very small part of my Cap illustration. There is a lot more I could tell you honestly I could right a book but I might piss some people off cause my responses can be longggggg(SMILE).
Don't worry he's not gone.
Take care
taurus36
I have been off the site for awhile and I was reading your post I felt the need to respond. I can feel your pain. LOL! Your Cap is not gone. What you did with him on the first night was not done in vain. I am currently dating a Cap and for some reason, I keep attracting them haha! right Caprgirl?
Anywho, Taurus women are very aggressive and when WE like someone we give it our all. What WE don't like is all the games. We will play the games and after awhile it gets boring. My advice is to back off for a little while, he will contact you. I go through this on a weekly basis. I find myself doing all the "initiating" and it doesn't bother me becuase all I have really dated are Caps (a Cancer or Scorp here and there but generally Caps). But they do like agressiveness and firmness. They are ALL TRUE momma's boys so you're basically treating them like there mother would treat them. SAD, but true. Before you do anything else with this guy, ask yourself this "what am I really looking for?" The less expectations you have on a Cap the further you will get with them (at least in the begininning). It's ok to call them more than they call you. You have to remember that they are always in testing mode and they desire to be loved, but they also like there women to be independent of them, yet soft and feminine. They do not like needy women and Taurus women are not needy. But in order to win there hearts here a strategy:
You first draw them in. Basicially, you are just dating, having fun (do not mention relationship in the beginining) You are doing what they like and showing interest in what they like, while maintaining your individuality. Basically acting like you have a life. Sound difficult? It's not. Let them do all the pursuing in the beginning. Caps have to trust you before they give you anything or confide in you. You will know if your Cap likes you by how much he gives you and tells you. They love to be pampered and they adore gifts. Be prepared because you will be the giver in this relationship. When they do give, they give from there heart, so if they give you something you don't like, NEVER say anything, just accept it and move on. This is just the first part of it all. There is more. Coming later.
But my general advice is to back off for a minute. They are highly sensitive and insecure. Build up his strengths and compliment him. They love that. If he pisses you off, let him know in a firm voice and why he pissed you off. Screaming at them scares the crap out them. Caps come off COLD, but always remember everything is always based around money and building a future for themselves. It's not about you. So if they disappear, let them, when he is ready, he will be back. Then he may say something like this: "Why haven't I heard from you?" knowing darn well YOU have been calling him and blowing up his phone. HUH? Just change the subject and talk about something else. That's just how they are. Also remember Cap men will always have a back up plan, so if he's on the site, he's just covering his base's and exploring his options and there's one more thing I've learned and that is if they really like a woman, they will put on the brakes and think about it so you may not hear from him for a while and if they like one woman more, they will have other options to balance out there emotions, this is not always the case, just sometimes. So you didn't scare him away, you just blew his mind! Taurus women are VERY sensual and so are Scorpios so they can't resist us LOL!
This is just a very small part of my Cap illustration. There is a lot more I could tell you honestly I could right a book but I might piss some people off cause my responses can be longggggg(SMILE).
Don't worry he's not gone.
Take care
taurus36
I totally agree with Taurus36,
PS. don't sweat the long posts, if someone doesn't want to read it, they don't have to. It's just funny how expressive you gals are....I luv it!
PS. don't sweat the long posts, if someone doesn't want to read it, they don't have to. It's just funny how expressive you gals are....I luv it!
Thanks a bunch Capgirl, earthgirl, westcoastangel for your advice. U guys are like angels to me! O.K. So I'm on DAY 3 now and still no response from him . What's with these cap men.. why are they soooo hard to read.. and why are they so slooooooooow ??!!?? I regret like hell sending that e-mail... The last time we talked was 8 days ago.. and it feels like ETERNITY!!! I think I'm gonna wait 2 more days (my patience is getting the best of me). I'm too chicken to call directly in case he's in the middle of something and puts me off (since they can only focus on one thing at a time), but I think I'm gonna e-mail first, and tell him that I'll be calling that night. God, I think my mind is going to blow.
Trust me, I can imagine what all you girls are going through (with you capgirl, waiting for 90 days.. thats INSANE, but thumbs up to you, I wish I had that kind of patience). Earthgirl, if you have those tickets still, I think you should ask him out to that game. I think he probably was working at the time. These guys are workaholics and they tend to put work before anything else. See if he says yes. If you guys do end up going out, maybe you will be in a better position to re-evaluate his feelings for you, instead of blowing your brains out the way you are right now.
. What's with these cap men.. why are they soooo hard to read.. and why are they so slooooooooow ??!!?? I regret like hell sending that e-mail... The last time we talked was 8 days ago.. and it feels like ETERNITY!!! I think I'm gonna wait 2 more days (my patience is getting the best of me). I'm too chicken to call directly in case he's in the middle of something and puts me off (since they can only focus on one thing at a time), but I think I'm gonna e-mail first, and tell him that I'll be calling that night. God, I think my mind is going to blow. Trust me, I can imagine what all you girls are going through (with you capgirl, waiting for 90 days.. thats INSANE, but thumbs up to you, I wish I had that kind of patience). Earthgirl, if you have those tickets still, I think you should ask him out to that game. I think he probably was working at the time. These guys are workaholics and they tend to put work before anything else. See if he says yes. If you guys do end up going out, maybe you will be in a better position to re-evaluate his feelings for you, instead of blowing your brains out the way you are right now.
Leo,
I am a Taurus with a Leo moon and rising. So I know how you feel. Cap men DO NOT LEAVE YOU. They just don't. Call the man! Me being a Taurus, I am the agressor and he's cool with it. He HATES my test msgs becuase he says they are so impersonal and he feels we don't communicate enough. So I stopped. They like it in there face, if you know what I mean. They liked to be told what to do. NEVER be afraid to call that knucklehead. Trust me, he's probably thinking the same way you are. I've gone up to 6 months without talking to my old Cap and about a week with my current Cap. If you are with him long enough, you will get use to it. Don't worry, he's not gone. It only hurts in the beginning, but once you get to know him, you will be fine.
Take care,
I am a Taurus with a Leo moon and rising. So I know how you feel. Cap men DO NOT LEAVE YOU. They just don't. Call the man! Me being a Taurus, I am the agressor and he's cool with it. He HATES my test msgs becuase he says they are so impersonal and he feels we don't communicate enough. So I stopped. They like it in there face, if you know what I mean. They liked to be told what to do. NEVER be afraid to call that knucklehead. Trust me, he's probably thinking the same way you are. I've gone up to 6 months without talking to my old Cap and about a week with my current Cap. If you are with him long enough, you will get use to it. Don't worry, he's not gone. It only hurts in the beginning, but once you get to know him, you will be fine.
Take care,
tut tut tut to all those who called their cappies and expressed their disbelief at the "disappearance" act..you should all know better by now..You are putty in their hands by expressing your emotions to them at such an early stage..
SELF-RESTRAINT!!!!!
Capgirl..tell em..
SELF-RESTRAINT!!!!!
Capgirl..tell em..
Oh...I'm kind of worn thin right now, missmorals. I went and told mine the big "ILY" in a damn love letter, so I've set myself up for at least another 90 day sentence! LOL I don't care though- After 18 months of his shit, I'm justified and entitled to lay it out there on the table, for him to dine or keep on going, through the drive-thru! haha
I alternate between just welcoming him back, after a "poof", and at other times telling him he's annoyed me.
Newbies to Cap men, if you can run away this early on, I suggest it most highly!
What's going on w/ your "friend", Missmorals? Has he taken to dating any of those interested women?
I went and told mine the big "ILY" in a damn love letter, so I've set myself up for at least another 90 day sentence! LOL I don't care though- After 18 months of his shit, I'm justified and entitled to lay it out there on the table, for him to dine or keep on going, through the drive-thru! hahaI alternate between just welcoming him back, after a "poof", and at other times telling him he's annoyed me.
Newbies to Cap men, if you can run away this early on, I suggest it most highly!
What's going on w/ your "friend", Missmorals? Has he taken to dating any of those interested women?
I don't blame you Capgirl..waste of energy is what they are!..these poor novices..they'll learn..lol. And tut tut to you for writing a love letter..although after 18 months I guess you need to know and draw the line somewhere..
Well as you know, we are just friends at the moment but I think we both know what kind of friends that is..lol..Anyways I am going to Paris in May and was just telling him during a conversation on tuesday..he wanted to know why I was going paris alone and I said well once a year, I usually go away on my own to gather my thoughts, be inspired, find myself again..and that time has come..so he goes to me..well I would come with you if you asked..so I replied, yeah right, whatever..and he goes seriously babe, I would, I would love to come..so I said u would? well come on then lets go on a self-discovery journey..and will you know it..WE ARE GOING TO PARIS!!!!...and I didn't even ask him..hows that for a first meeting?..Paris of all places..but cos he's a cappie and therefore contradictory..I am not banking on it till I see him at Waterloo on Le Eurostar!..lol..but utter satisfaction out of the fact that he wants to come rather than me asking..Hell would freeze over before I ever ask him to meet me..and I think he knows that too..I am a cool customer u see..live by my own rules..I aint MissMorals for nuttin u know..lol..
Well as you know, we are just friends at the moment but I think we both know what kind of friends that is..lol..Anyways I am going to Paris in May and was just telling him during a conversation on tuesday..he wanted to know why I was going paris alone and I said well once a year, I usually go away on my own to gather my thoughts, be inspired, find myself again..and that time has come..so he goes to me..well I would come with you if you asked..so I replied, yeah right, whatever..and he goes seriously babe, I would, I would love to come..so I said u would? well come on then lets go on a self-discovery journey..and will you know it..WE ARE GOING TO PARIS!!!!...and I didn't even ask him..hows that for a first meeting?..Paris of all places..but cos he's a cappie and therefore contradictory..I am not banking on it till I see him at Waterloo on Le Eurostar!..lol..but utter satisfaction out of the fact that he wants to come rather than me asking..Hell would freeze over before I ever ask him to meet me..and I think he knows that too..I am a cool customer u see..live by my own rules..I aint MissMorals for nuttin u know..lol..
And no he hasn't taken to dating any of the other girls..he's meeting one in 3 weeks but he's not enthusiastic about it..he tells me everything..he is very honest in that respect..He said she won't stop bugging him and he thought oh well ok, just a quick hi and bye..I don't mind..if its meant to be it will be..He won't stay away from me for too long..He loves being bossed around and scolded by me..He said to me the other day "I gotta give it to you babe, you give a good game"..So I guess I have earnt his respect...and so the show goes on..
Capgirl, you may have sealed your fate by writing that letter but at least it will set you free emotionally.
Missmorals.....when does the chase ever end. We can show them how we really feel too early because it will scare them off. If they think they have us emotionally they take their time and dont put much effort into it. They are contradictory.
I would like to meet a woman who has MARRIED a Cap who exhibts all or most of the same charactericts as the guys we talk about. Because if this is what these men are in a nutshell, then why do we waste our time? Because if seems as if we will forever be doing a song and dance to keep them happy and interested.
I'm just not buying it girls, maybe I'm too idealistic but any man who cant appreciate a woman being honest about her feelings whether its the first date or the 100th date just isnt really worth anything. Now I can go along them needing time to figure things out, but I just cant get with compromising who I am. I think its all well and good that you have so many men wraped around your finger, maybe you should write a book......but it just seems a little staged and not real. Its like you give them what they want to hear and feel emotionally but would they still be around if you were being yourself?
Missmorals.....when does the chase ever end. We can show them how we really feel too early because it will scare them off. If they think they have us emotionally they take their time and dont put much effort into it. They are contradictory.
I would like to meet a woman who has MARRIED a Cap who exhibts all or most of the same charactericts as the guys we talk about. Because if this is what these men are in a nutshell, then why do we waste our time? Because if seems as if we will forever be doing a song and dance to keep them happy and interested.
I'm just not buying it girls, maybe I'm too idealistic but any man who cant appreciate a woman being honest about her feelings whether its the first date or the 100th date just isnt really worth anything. Now I can go along them needing time to figure things out, but I just cant get with compromising who I am. I think its all well and good that you have so many men wraped around your finger, maybe you should write a book......but it just seems a little staged and not real. Its like you give them what they want to hear and feel emotionally but would they still be around if you were being yourself?
I agree, Febby. I told him in my letter that I'm not asking him to tell me anything or to tell me that he was the same feelings for me, but ask that if he does not feel the same or is not in the same place to have a serious relationship not to contact me or respond, bc. it is very difficult to date or move on for me otherwise. And... we're on day 8 with no response or contact. I'd already told him months ago, in a text msg., though that I was in love with him and thought that'd have him running for the next county but he called less than a week later. I am looking forward to emotional freedom... and each day that passes, gets me closer to that.
Febby... waiting to hear... is this Cap. guy the one whom you had a heart-to-heart with in the car, the coworker??
Febby... waiting to hear... is this Cap. guy the one whom you had a heart-to-heart with in the car, the coworker??
No, this is the Cap guy who I didnt know was a cap until very recently. Capgirl, what if your guy calls you right when you are truly over him emotionally?
Ugh... Febby... I know, that's what he did to me w/ the 90 day disappearance, after I'd said I wanted a relationship and needed to know what he was looking for, such that when he did get in touch, I had no idea what it meant. Just being friendly and keeping in touch? I thnk that's exactly how he wanted it too- maintain the confusion, the freedom. That's why this time I've spelled out that no contact and no response will be taken as NO interest. So, in my mind, if it's after April 30th, I am forcing myself to ignore his call. That's being pretty darn generous- over 3 weeks- most normal people who aren't dealing w/ this supposed Cap. guy mentality, would say that's too long for a guy who's truly into you. I wish he'd just send a lame email or voicemail even, if he's gutless and afraid of hurting someone, and just say "I'm not looking for anything serious right now." I mean how hard is that?? But commitment phobics can't commit to saying "No" even.
Feb,
I know 2 women who are married to Caps and yes they still exhibit the behavior. But they do it in the form of WORK. One of my friends has been with her hubby for over 22 years and the other for over 15 yrs. Friend A (22yrs) says it took her 4 yrs to get her Cap and at that time he was an alcoholic and could not take it anymore, so she put him out and 1 year later they were married. She had no contact with him for over a year. WOW! THe other Friend B (15yrs)her husband is a true workaholic. He is never home and works on avergage 18-24 yrs a day. She hates it! They have 3 kids and she runs the house. They have almost ended up in divorce court many times but he pays all the bills and gives her the world, but that's not enough for her.
Friend A is very happy in her marriage but she said it was not easy to get him. HE had been married and was still stuck on the old wife for a long time. He advice on how to handle Cap men is priceless and I must say, through her I have learned to be patient with these men.
So there ou have it. I truly believe I will marry a Cap someday LOL! That's all I attract and it drives me crazy!! I do like them. I guess I like the challenge so to speak HAHA! I'm not bitter just a little frustrtated at times. But I have to say that the one trait that I LOVE about these men is that they are brutally honest! IF they love you and they say it. YOU GOT HIM! YOu will only here it once and they expect you to know that they love you without them having to say it.
Oh well that's life!
Peace
I know 2 women who are married to Caps and yes they still exhibit the behavior. But they do it in the form of WORK. One of my friends has been with her hubby for over 22 years and the other for over 15 yrs. Friend A (22yrs) says it took her 4 yrs to get her Cap and at that time he was an alcoholic and could not take it anymore, so she put him out and 1 year later they were married. She had no contact with him for over a year. WOW! THe other Friend B (15yrs)her husband is a true workaholic. He is never home and works on avergage 18-24 yrs a day. She hates it! They have 3 kids and she runs the house. They have almost ended up in divorce court many times but he pays all the bills and gives her the world, but that's not enough for her.
Friend A is very happy in her marriage but she said it was not easy to get him. HE had been married and was still stuck on the old wife for a long time. He advice on how to handle Cap men is priceless and I must say, through her I have learned to be patient with these men.
So there ou have it. I truly believe I will marry a Cap someday LOL! That's all I attract and it drives me crazy!! I do like them. I guess I like the challenge so to speak HAHA! I'm not bitter just a little frustrtated at times. But I have to say that the one trait that I LOVE about these men is that they are brutally honest! IF they love you and they say it. YOU GOT HIM! YOu will only here it once and they expect you to know that they love you without them having to say it.
Oh well that's life!
Peace
Hey all,
I'm back with an update on my cap guy. For those of you who have or have not been following my story if you scroll down a little you should be able to find it. I do need some opinions. So yesterday I ended up sending him a really agressive e-mail (and I added a touch of humor to it) saying that I will be calling him that night. So he emails back, finally, after like 10 days which felt like ETERNITY.
He told me he was in bed with an injured knee, for the past few days. Also, he's starting exams soon and is extremely stressed (this is his last semester in law school). He said that whenever we talk, we do so for a very long time, and his priority at the moment is to focus on getting through the last few weeks of school and that he wants to use every minute he has in the wisest way possible. And also that he has always had his priorities in order, and I'm simply feeling the effects of those.
He apologized to me like fifty times, in not explaining his disappearance and another fifty times added 'I hope/I am sure you understand'. And oh yes, he also added in the end, 'don't call me tonight because I'll probably be sleeping and don't have the energy to talk to anyone right now, I hope u understand'.
What do i make out of this? He came off so COLD (maybe thats understandable because my previous e-mail was like the kiss of death). Obviously i'm not a priority, work/school is. Please please please, can some experienced voices shed some light on this. Does this mean he's still interested in me but he just needs his space. Its almost like i'm a distraction to him right now and he wants to push me aside for the meantime (he's so unemotional though, nothing like I do want to talk to you and will when i have time). Do u think he'll come back and that I haven't lost him?
I'm back with an update on my cap guy. For those of you who have or have not been following my story if you scroll down a little you should be able to find it. I do need some opinions. So yesterday I ended up sending him a really agressive e-mail (and I added a touch of humor to it) saying that I will be calling him that night. So he emails back, finally, after like 10 days which felt like ETERNITY.
He told me he was in bed with an injured knee, for the past few days. Also, he's starting exams soon and is extremely stressed (this is his last semester in law school). He said that whenever we talk, we do so for a very long time, and his priority at the moment is to focus on getting through the last few weeks of school and that he wants to use every minute he has in the wisest way possible. And also that he has always had his priorities in order, and I'm simply feeling the effects of those.
He apologized to me like fifty times, in not explaining his disappearance and another fifty times added 'I hope/I am sure you understand'. And oh yes, he also added in the end, 'don't call me tonight because I'll probably be sleeping and don't have the energy to talk to anyone right now, I hope u understand'.
What do i make out of this? He came off so COLD (maybe thats understandable because my previous e-mail was like the kiss of death). Obviously i'm not a priority, work/school is. Please please please, can some experienced voices shed some light on this. Does this mean he's still interested in me but he just needs his space. Its almost like i'm a distraction to him right now and he wants to push me aside for the meantime (he's so unemotional though, nothing like I do want to talk to you and will when i have time). Do u think he'll come back and that I haven't lost him?
Hey LeowithCap&Annoyed~
I knew there was another Leo with a Cap. guy! (and then we've had a CapinlustwithLeo, too?!) My moon is Sagitt... Doesn't help explain it, does it?? lol I'm fine with and accepting that I may be now walking away, never to hear from him. (I will never contact him again now, if he doesn't respond/contact me first.) And knowing him, that will probably be after HIS FINALS are over, like end of May!? For me... that would not be acceptable.
Other Leo w/Cap... that's what happens w/ these guys, and men in general sometimes. The one-track mind with the career... I totally do NOT understand it either. I never will. For me, what could be more important than love and a family? My Cap. guy did that to me back at the end of last year... blamed his absence on finals, which in those circumstance was part bull and cowardice and only part truth, but that's because his absence started in late-October extending through year's end! Never heard of any finals lasting that long! I'm a lawyer and I know how intense law school is and especially those finals! Your whole grade rides on that exam- there are no other tests during the semester, and if he's in his final year, this last semester seals up his GPA and class rank. Particularly, if he's doing well and is at the top 1/3 or 1/4, if he doesn't maintain or do better than his overall GPA, he risks dropping in rank. It's really quite understandable- a bit extreme not to be available to talk to you, but it is high pressure and an intense time. Why don't you just send him over a basket of gourmet coffee, cookies, and whatnot, in the next few weeks?
I knew there was another Leo with a Cap. guy! (and then we've had a CapinlustwithLeo, too?!) My moon is Sagitt... Doesn't help explain it, does it?? lol I'm fine with and accepting that I may be now walking away, never to hear from him. (I will never contact him again now, if he doesn't respond/contact me first.) And knowing him, that will probably be after HIS FINALS are over, like end of May!? For me... that would not be acceptable.
Other Leo w/Cap... that's what happens w/ these guys, and men in general sometimes. The one-track mind with the career... I totally do NOT understand it either. I never will. For me, what could be more important than love and a family? My Cap. guy did that to me back at the end of last year... blamed his absence on finals, which in those circumstance was part bull and cowardice and only part truth, but that's because his absence started in late-October extending through year's end! Never heard of any finals lasting that long! I'm a lawyer and I know how intense law school is and especially those finals! Your whole grade rides on that exam- there are no other tests during the semester, and if he's in his final year, this last semester seals up his GPA and class rank. Particularly, if he's doing well and is at the top 1/3 or 1/4, if he doesn't maintain or do better than his overall GPA, he risks dropping in rank. It's really quite understandable- a bit extreme not to be available to talk to you, but it is high pressure and an intense time. Why don't you just send him over a basket of gourmet coffee, cookies, and whatnot, in the next few weeks?
Hey girls, thanks ever so much for all your advice. I guess this is how they are then, eh? What I'm experiencing then is nothing out of the ordinary and is expected from a Cap guy. I totally believe that they think of only one thing at a time. I'm an engineer, and I know that the time I spent in engineering school was tough as hell. But I always tried to balance things out (maybe around exam time I used to flip out a bit and recede to my cave). I still think that not wanting to have any contact with me at all is a bit extreme ('when we talk, it lasts a while, and i'm trying to use every min. i have in the wisest way possible') Jeez. Oh yeah and did i mention, after he finishes his law school exams, he has to take classes for the BAR which he is taking in July. So maybe expecting to hear from him before July will be too much to hope for.
The saddest truth is that I really want him
. I normally would not take this from any other guy, but I'm willing to compromise for him (if I end up being with him eventually). If I had never come across this message board, I would have probably gone nuts by now. But you guys are right. If this is how they behave, then i should let him be. He can take his time, and when he knows that I'm a loyal and constant presence in his life, he'll probably start appreciating me more and come back to me. But honestly, I don't know if there are many women out there who can put up with this kind of nonsense.U know, maybe on the flip side of the coin, I'm thinking, the reason they don't want to talk to us when they are in a situation like this is because talking to us makes them think about us more, which is distracting especially when it comes to studying. Do u call this wishful thinking?
Oh, boy, well at least you had the friend's name in there, "Jammie" which backs up that it was an error. If you email Cap.-ass, I would not make it a long, drawn out funny or lighthearted email. I would simply say, "Ooops! Sorry, I meant to send that to another friend whose name is above yours!" Or shoot... that may still seems like you were trying to get his attention/reaction with purposely sending the first one. I would just leave it be- it's more believable that way that you sent it by mistake, whereas if you go saying 'sorry' it just reinforces the possibility that you're looking for reason or excuse to contact him or get his attention. Let it go- it will definitely leave a question in his mind, at the worst, that you're doing it to make him jealous, and at best, it WILL make him wonder, curious, and jump to get back in there.
This is really funny bc. back like what seems ages ago- when I first met and first got pissed off at my cap.- I wanted to send him this article letting him know that I thought he was a narcissist! So I just sent it w/ a subject header, "Interesting concept" and then a few hours after I sent it to him, I sent him an email saying, "Ooops, I meant that for my psychologist friend, ---- -----!" and her first name was directly before his- she's an "Nan..." and he's a "Nat"! He didn't buy it and knew it was meant for him though!
Too funny- bc. I did that dumb game on purpose and yours is an innocent mistake which will probably still get taken for a game!
This is really funny bc. back like what seems ages ago- when I first met and first got pissed off at my cap.- I wanted to send him this article letting him know that I thought he was a narcissist! So I just sent it w/ a subject header, "Interesting concept" and then a few hours after I sent it to him, I sent him an email saying, "Ooops, I meant that for my psychologist friend, ---- -----!" and her first name was directly before his- she's an "Nan..." and he's a "Nat"! He didn't buy it and knew it was meant for him though!
Too funny- bc. I did that dumb game on purpose and yours is an innocent mistake which will probably still get taken for a game!
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