Would You

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by Scorpionlady on Thursday, July 6, 2006 and has 23 replies.

I would like to ask you ladies dealing with these Capricorn Men this question
If you looked at all your morals and values, and principals, etc., that you have been taught, all the things you once said you would and would not allow a man to do or treat you a certain way would you really put up with them?
So Ladies be honest with yourselves and don't make excuses for the way these men treat you. I just want to see where everybody morals are, or if anyone really have any.

I am not haten I wish all you ladies the best. I just can't do it.
Just want to give you a little realty check.
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Well, based on morals and values that I've grown up with, no...but that might be where previous experiences come to play for some of us.
In the past, I've experienced an abusive relationship and so when I'm dealing with my Cap, I see a person who is truly gentle and has a beautiful soul. He never says or does anything to intentionally hurt me. Yeah, his passivity can be considered annoying but after having dealt with a personality that was so aggressive, I appreciate the Cap even more.
Sure he frustrates me to no end, but at the end of the day, I can say that my Cap has brought out the best in me. He's a good person and he's worth holding onto.
I think, in general, most of us can look at the guys our friends are with and think 'oh, I would never deal with that.' Everybody has their flaws and it's an issue of deciding which flaws you can tolerate with a companion, no?
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"Reality check"~~ darn straight, I'm all about that. Everyone needs to get there and reach that point in their own time (and stick to it), I realize this, but I am THERE and gosh I hope not to fall back to wearing the 'rose colored glasses' again.
I just had this type of discussion with my dear Pisces friend. She has been "involved" with a Cap. guy for 3 years- the same off/on, disappearing, never really a true relationship. Their last get-together, which was probably the first she'd seen of him in 2006 as far as anything remotely resembling a "date", was a "quickie" in his vehicle, after which he volunteered and repeated that he would call her. It's been over 2 weeks and no word yet. I asked her the same type of reality check question... why is this acceptable behavior?? If there were not this "3 year history", and it were any other guy, would she be hanging on and accepting this latest episode?? I adore her, and she's young, but something is just not right here when things get so warped and distorted in your outlook that this kind of behaviour becomes "okay" and you're reaching out to this guy wanting more of the same.
I will therefore chime in..."wake up, wake up, wake up"... if this is you or your situation is approaching something similar, please stop relying upon astrology and personality quirks to justify bad behavior. It's admirable to tolerate and understand people's differences to a point, but when it crosses the line to being disrespectful, inconsiderate and hurtful to YOU, then it becomes foolish and self-destructive to continue to subject yourself to what is more likely serious issues the guy is inflicting upon you.
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LOL I am going to laugh at that comment TGWC, you took it out of context, Let me say it to you this way?
What type or morals and values did you grow up with?
I was taught not to let a man take advantage of me disrespect me,have no consideration, I also grew up being taught that the man is supposed to take care of the women but I throw that one out the window because I can take care of mayself, I grew up being self relient and sufficient, I grow up learning to being a strong women, and I have failed at that numeruous times, but each day I get better at it. There's more but I am sure you understand where I am coming from.
Again I am not haten but I do think the queston needs to be asked and maybe the women on this board kind find something about themselves to help them deal with the Cap Men.
As for me and dealing with them I will but never as a life long partner, I need and want way more than they can offer at this point my life
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CapGirl,
True. And that's when you punch your Cap in the face after his inconsiderable act. :-)
Yeah, these guys are certainly no angels. Their behaviour is definitely rude and inconsiderate at times. Maybe this will come across as sexist behaviour, however, but I have yet to know any guy friend that I would look at and think...'ya know? He'd make a good boyfriend.' Men are wonderful as friends. Rarely, do they excel in relationships. Eh, that's my pessimistic view of the day. Big Grin
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I know TGWC can speak for and defend herself, but I really feel that her relationship is a solid, give-and-take, bordering on "normal" as far as the standards by which we're judging these nutjob guys. (lol) Maybe it took the time and trust she's built to get there to this point, but as far as what it is now, it's nothing resembling disrespect, etc. Again, I don't mean to speak to her situation. Sorry, TG!
There's something weird in the planets, ladies, going on this week? I'm bowing out now to avoid cross-fire and getting blasted. Ciao! Winking
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It's that damn mercury retrograde, haha!
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I don't think any man has the ability to destroy your morals, beliefs if you don't allow them to.
I speak for myself when I say that the cap is a refreshing change from the majority of morons you come across in life simply because of the mental connection, deep deep understanding and a mutual admiration fest on every level. Anyone I can be a natural psychologist to means that so much more to me..lol.
You just don't know what direction your life takes you, but I am glad mine somehow made a stop at Capville. If its meant to be it will be. I am not pulling my hair out, or going insanely crazy just because I am not getting my own way. There was a bit of confusion as to his behaviour at the start but thats because I've never dealt with a cap from a relationship perspective..I have 3 male cap friends...and they are good as gold.
I needed to be taught patience..and I think god has sent him my way to teach me that very lesson. That I can't always have what I want when I want it..lol..which is what has been happening all throughout life..
The fruit of patience is sweet..as long as you know where to draw the line and have that much awareness and self-respect. How much one is prepared to put up with is entirely down to the individual.
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I would have paid off that train conductor to bypass the ugly, gray town called "Capville"!! LOL I'm in the negative mindset today w/ LWCA. Yea... patience... mine's grown and developed but now has been stretched beyond tolerable limits. And to think that someone is purposely acting/behaving in a way to teach me lessons... well, that really pisses me off, although I do not assume that this is behind the strange behavior. If it's to evaluate/analyze/consider the pros and cons of the situation, while keeping me strung out ("on a string"), that's unacceptable; I'm not an investment, a bond, a futures option. Sorry... I'm bowing out, again.
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Well, it seems to me that this subject brought out a lot of tension and half azz anger, that was not intended by some of us, lets see who else see my comment as negative, I wonder TGWC, did I put a damper on you did I touch a sensative button or something, It is all good, you have to deal with that.
TGWC
I would not say I had a bad experience with the man I used to date, I found out how far the apple fall from the tree and choose not to watch any more fall. I still love and care about him, but again, what I consider my values and princples will not allow me to tolorate, him any longer.
Hey I am dating a Taurus, and this is not easy but I am not going to lose my mind or get emotional or mentally stressed wondering where he is and if I am going to hear from him or not. I know if I want to see him I just ask and he always says yes, and I am not going to lose any of my principle of values just to get him or keep him.
Because with him I have lots communication, he don't get depressed, He don't disrespect me, he not aloof, and more than anything, he does not control me or even, demand it. I have someone that is considerate of me. I have someone that is cautious but in a more respectful way. That is something that I wanted in my man and I am happy with that, I know I have some bumbs to get over, but I won't have the bumps like some of the women dealing with Caps and that is a big difference.
I know on thing about Caps that I have not heard or read on these boards and that is they find women that don't know about their personality, that's why there is so many new women showing up wondering if this is normal.

These are the things that I am asking the women on this board...Maybe I went a little to deep for you to comprehend but whatever the case may be, I do truly wish you much happiness, and when you do wake up one day and find that you made a mistake maybe then you will reflect back to this converstion

Peace my sista
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Gracious... how does this turn into direct, personal attacks on one person's situation?? TGWC doesn't need to reflect back or regret or ponder... she's a smart, mature, wise woman and not that gifts are everything or a sign of love or commitment, but this Cap. man of hers has treated her like "gold" via his actions. I am not going to defend or explain her situation, on her behalf. It's unnecessary- totally.
SL~ I appreciate your strength, anger, and lessons learned from the Cap. man experience. Same here, I'm there, I'm getting it. But you tend to assume, generalize, and launch insults and direct attacks on others. You did this exact thing to me a couple months ago... I had joked about and revealed that I had "enjoyed" sexual freedom in my college (younger) days, which had nothing to do w/ my history with this Cap. guy. Quite to the contrary... I have acted like a near prude w/ this particular Cap. guy bc. of fears of him being a player... But never mind that... What I'm saying is there's a tendency to generalize, overstate, and insult.... Enough said. I don't want these wars. I'm a peace-loving, forgiving Cap., with a bunch of water moving me!
TGWC~ You know your love story... don't diminish or degrade that or yourself by defending it here. Love ya. Winking
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LOL I wishing you happines....in all you do in life my sista, I consider all women my sistas, I don't discriminate towards my sista we all have to stick together, no matter what color.
Anger anger that is not good. I would never try to hurt or scorn anyone not even you.
I have had people do that same thing to me that I have just done to you just to see the anger, it's just knowing what makes a person mad, and you just fell for it.
Oh I have made my T Guy very upset last time we were together and he jumped on me but in the end and having a serious converstations he changed his whole demeanor.
I have a sister who is a taurus and she and I can only be together for so long, and when she get in her little nasty moods and try to take it out on me or be mean I call her on it and she change her attitude because it's not me that got you so moody it is somethig or someone else. I am used to taurus behavior, the women that is.
We can continue this on for days but it is not worth it to me nor to you probably, so I tell you what, enjoy your life and what you have. I do truly wish you so much happeness hell I wish all the ladies happiness beit with a Cap or not.
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I didn't even read everyone's other threads but I know that i asked myself this question many many many times when i was with the cap guy for close to 4 years, all the shit we all talk about happened over and over and over again with me saying enough so many times i sounded like a parrot...and then i asked myself very simply "would I remain friends with someone(girl, guy, doesn't matter) just friends with someone who treated me this way? and my answer was no...i have had some friends who for whatever reasons and it didn't end with a blow up but after realizing that friendships/relationships need to be two way streets to survive cannot grow and be fruitful if BOTH parties are not participating. so to answer your question no...regardless of morals, it's more a self esteem self respect issue for me...i will not be a door mat for anyone anymore, male female, friend or lover...we BOTH need to be contributing to the relationship...i think it's a great reality check, thank you
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CapGirl, I liked the "investment and bonds" comment. Even though it makes you mad, I once told my Cap that I look at him in such a way. Hahaha! It's totally lame that your Capman hasn't responded. You really seem like the kind of guy a Cap would dig. Independent enough to go on vacation to St. Barts, intelligent Ms. Lawyer, etc. What's his deal? In regards to passing Capville...I usually tell friends that are newly dating Caps to just let it go while the feelings are not developed yet! Haha!
Scorpion Lady, I think sometimes it's hard not to add one's own bias to statements. For example, I rarely have a kind thing to say about Leo men as my own experiences with them have sucked. And it's not rare that I annoy some Leo folks with some of the things I say. It seems that your experiences with Caps truly affected you.
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CapGirl let's not go there, ok I can apoligize if she took what I said as an insult or attack on people, I did not intend to do it to LGWC, she took it that way.
As many of you have read, I did not make that comment about morals, to hurt anyones feelings, I did it to see where the ladies are.
I launch an attach on you CapGirl that was totally different.
Know if anyone want to take what I wrote personally than I must have hit a button that made them think.
Agan, let me say that I am much older than a lot of you ladies, and I have been around the block, made an azz of myself some more shit, that I don't regret but I have learned from. I have gain a lot of wisdom along that way. If I am a little hard on my comments, I am sorry, I have just learned to not hold my tongue say what's on my mind, and always speak the truth. If I am guitly of that then let me be guilty but I did not gain the respect from the people in my life until I learned how to stand up and be somebody. With that said,
Take are my SistaS I am off for the day.

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LeoWithCapAndAnnoyed
I don't understand why people would say that, Again I still love this man, I talk to him at least once a month. We are friends, yes I was mad when I found out about him and yes I did wanted to be vindictive but the common sense side of me made more sense.
Again, if anyone has read what I said, I said that, I told him I removing myself from this equation because of his lack of communicaton, and he accepted it and wanted us to stay friends and I accepted that. I don't hate him I don't live on bad memory of him, I had a lot of good memories with him they over power the bad so when I think about him I think about good stuff and that gives me happy memories.
I sit back and read the comments of the ladies, new and old and I wonder when the HELL are you going to give up, let go, How can people be with someone that makes them emotionally crazy, maybe because I protect my emotions so hard not to get hurt just like a Cap that I can't see pass what you ladies see, and I don't want to can't work that hard to pursue a man. My idea of getting a man is totally different from what most people idea is I believe.


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Everyones situation is different, there are bad caps and good caps..lol as opposed to cops..lol..Different cultures, different backgrounds, different upbringing also help form a cap/man not just astrology..
So as long as the woman dealing with the cap knows what she's letting herself in for and is prepared for this kind of behaviour..then nobody should impose their opinions..
Until you reach the stage where you are not prepared to put up with this kind of behaviour anymore, nobody else on this planet has the power to avert you attentions from the cap.
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Well, there seem to be a lot of women that come in and out of the site and have moved on. For those of us that haven't, it could be for a multitude of reasons. Some women might not be as needy and are capable of leading an independent life, whereas other women (who may also be capable, as well) would prefer to have the boyfriend there all the time. There might be some that are career-driven and having an equally driven boyfriend is a benefit at that point in their lives. And there might be some of us that love the thrill of the hunt.
The truth is...if some of us really didn't like this type of personality or traits and wanted what most would view a more "normal" relationship, then I'm sure another person would pursue something different, don't you think?
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Woo... can i come back in now? Is the war over? hehe Would it not be the funniest damn thing if just even one of these Cap. monsters read just even one of these threads like this one?? LOL LOL
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SB~ you are so dry and somber.... hehe I would love it if he were... doesn't bother me... Hmmm... interesting thought to ponder. Start a new esoteric thread? Winking
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BT~ Glad to see you!! I want to change my name to... BitterCapGirlGotTooAnnoyedandDitchedCapMan. LOL LOL smile
I like what you had to say... I'll be more pissed off though to think that these monsters are deliberately testing?! They do try to get that emotional reaction, any reaction, and then if they do, they come running. It's utter BS, to make someone feel bad and lose control just so the other person (Cap-ass) can get what they need to make them feel secure and wanted. CRAZY!
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Test, schmest. Yes, I know they do that...but I think sometimes they are genuine p*ss*es when they know that their passivity has got them to the point that they know a HUGE "talk" is in store. I would really hate to prove the Cap right, but he in for a major lashing and a punch in the face. Man, I need to get a punching bag.
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Please post photos LWCA... you can do that within a thread... a red cheek will be enough (Slap!), black eye better (100 pts.), broken nose (10,000 pts.)! LOL If you can just get him to cry... (1,000,000 pts.) hehehe Tongue
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