Questions for everyone love to hear what people
This topic was created in the Leo forum by shorty1978 on Wednesday, July 16, 2014 and has 17 replies.
think!!
When a leo man goes silent??_... or maybe a man of any sign! My man doesn??t speak to me at all!! About anything not even if I ask how he day was when he is upset with me even if its over something small like I forgot to buy milk when shopping lol. I know he is moody I still love him despite it lol. My questions is.
Do you prefer to be left alone totally for days on end until you snap out of it and calm down. or if your partner remained cheerful and made jokes and still left you alone but in a pleasant reminder im still here how was your day dear stuff?
I really want to understand this behavior for when this comes up. I am the type of person that wants to discuss an issue work it out and move past it when im angry but my dude would like to not speak to me period for days!!! For the most part I ride it out but if I make the mistake of asking if he wants to talk or bring it up he gets mad again and it starts all over!!
When a leo man goes silent??_... or maybe a man of any sign! My man doesn??t speak to me at all!! About anything not even if I ask how he day was when he is upset with me even if its over something small like I forgot to buy milk when shopping lol. I know he is moody I still love him despite it lol. My questions is.
Do you prefer to be left alone totally for days on end until you snap out of it and calm down. or if your partner remained cheerful and made jokes and still left you alone but in a pleasant reminder im still here how was your day dear stuff?
I really want to understand this behavior for when this comes up. I am the type of person that wants to discuss an issue work it out and move past it when im angry but my dude would like to not speak to me period for days!!! For the most part I ride it out but if I make the mistake of asking if he wants to talk or bring it up he gets mad again and it starts all over!!
Leo goes silent? Never been my experience with a Leo male.
I made a promise to myself to never date a man that goes silent days on end, dumped.
I made a promise to myself to never date a man that goes silent days on end, dumped.
lol yup he is a silent treatment kinda guy! Yes it does suck but there are so many other great things and it is my first experience with silence! to me he is worth trying to work around it so im courious on how someone can do that... My Best friend is a leo female she goes silent as well. when she is upset about something not with me directly i wont hear from her for days or weeks even.
August Leo or July Leo? I prefer July Leo's because per my own experience July Leo's fit the astrological description to a T.
August Leo's and August Leo's on the cusp of Virgo can be moody and a bit of a nightmare because although they fit some of the astrological description of a Leo they got a whole lot of hidden emotional mess that creates emotional conflict and emotional tension.
My aunt is a Leo on the cusp of Virgo and although she was fun and sunny she could immediately flip into being mean, distant, cold, detached.
Giving the silent treatment is manipulative and it's abusive behavior. I'm not saying he's an abusive man, just want to make that clear but the behavior is unhealthy and considered to be a form of control and falls under the emotional abuse category which is why I made a solemn promise to myself to never date nor remain with a man that gives the silent treatment.
When the uncommunicative person withdraws affection, love and respect for an indefinite extended period of time causes emotional resentment, anger, unworthiness, depression, it feels like mental torture and the ignored attempts to find ways to appease the person whose giving the silent treatment, the ignored person feels anxiety not knowing when the treatment will end which is why I don't put up with it.
Stonewalling/refusal to answer questions or discuss a problem can be extremely hurtful. Nevertheless, when the silent treatment becomes a pattern in the relationship it will lead to bitterness and a slow, subtle weakening of the union which, if left unchecked, could signal the end of it.
Jus so you know this is not healthy for you and will follow you mentally and emotionally.
August Leo's and August Leo's on the cusp of Virgo can be moody and a bit of a nightmare because although they fit some of the astrological description of a Leo they got a whole lot of hidden emotional mess that creates emotional conflict and emotional tension.
My aunt is a Leo on the cusp of Virgo and although she was fun and sunny she could immediately flip into being mean, distant, cold, detached.
Giving the silent treatment is manipulative and it's abusive behavior. I'm not saying he's an abusive man, just want to make that clear but the behavior is unhealthy and considered to be a form of control and falls under the emotional abuse category which is why I made a solemn promise to myself to never date nor remain with a man that gives the silent treatment.
When the uncommunicative person withdraws affection, love and respect for an indefinite extended period of time causes emotional resentment, anger, unworthiness, depression, it feels like mental torture and the ignored attempts to find ways to appease the person whose giving the silent treatment, the ignored person feels anxiety not knowing when the treatment will end which is why I don't put up with it.
Stonewalling/refusal to answer questions or discuss a problem can be extremely hurtful. Nevertheless, when the silent treatment becomes a pattern in the relationship it will lead to bitterness and a slow, subtle weakening of the union which, if left unchecked, could signal the end of it.
Jus so you know this is not healthy for you and will follow you mentally and emotionally.
I hear what your saying. I dont belive this slience to come from a bad place. my thoughts are that he is silent to gain control over him self to sort his thoughts as he is over whelmed maybe with emotions and doesnt want to say anything he will regret. I am looking for advise on how to help him break the silence and not make it worse with out becoming someone who begs and sucks up to make it stop.
It's not about what place it's coming from, the behavior is irrational and it's cruel behavior.
He's silent to gain control over you and your behavior and if you don't believe me then research it for yourself.
You can't help him, he's silent because it works, it's effective and he's consciously choosing to be silent. You cannot control another human being by trying help stop a behavior pattern that they are choosing to do. It's not your responsibility to stop him from hurting you by helping him.
If you want to know if you can help him stop then research it yourself and you'll most likely find information informing that you cannot change a man nor can you change his behavior.
The only avenue you have is to beg and to suck up to make it stop because that is the ultimate goal, to get a lot of attention, to get the focus and attention on him and to get you to suck up and beg because it's feels good and feels empowering to him.
It works, the silent treatment works, it can get a woman to grovel on the ground to make it stop, it's sad but it's an effective relationship tactic.
He's silent to gain control over you and your behavior and if you don't believe me then research it for yourself.
You can't help him, he's silent because it works, it's effective and he's consciously choosing to be silent. You cannot control another human being by trying help stop a behavior pattern that they are choosing to do. It's not your responsibility to stop him from hurting you by helping him.
If you want to know if you can help him stop then research it yourself and you'll most likely find information informing that you cannot change a man nor can you change his behavior.
The only avenue you have is to beg and to suck up to make it stop because that is the ultimate goal, to get a lot of attention, to get the focus and attention on him and to get you to suck up and beg because it's feels good and feels empowering to him.
It works, the silent treatment works, it can get a woman to grovel on the ground to make it stop, it's sad but it's an effective relationship tactic.
Posted by seraph
If she's thoughtless then he needs to address the matter directly and in no uncertain terms.
I can't imagine being hurt and silent for days on end - issues unaddressed - over chores.
She's confused (or has no idea that what she's doing is a problem), and he's uncommunicative.
And you're right, Monte. Might be a compatibility issue after all. Which is too bad, because a little sanity can go a long way.
As I said-- and I can't emphasize enough-- tiki's right.
That's no way to behave; it's downright pathological.
However-- it isn't a one-sided deal.
She absolutely refuses to see any of the reasons he gets upset with her as valid.
They are all silly, and thus, he is silly.
Hopefully, they will both have the presence of mind to rethink this arrangement.
Montgomery is right as well, it's 2 sides to this issue.
If she continues to be thoughtless and disregard how her actions effect him well of course the behavior will trigger conflict between them both.
If something is important to him such as (milk--getting milk--not forgetting to buy the milk) then try not react as if it doesn't matter, just because the milk issue doesn't impact you negatively doesn't mean it's not important.
I don't feel you should be punished for something so minor but you shouldn't disregard how important his request are. If your memory is that bad use sticky notes and plaster them on your desk at work and in the car. Work on your behavior and it may minimize the silent treatment your receiving.
Ostracizing, ignoring and giving the silent treatment is highly toxic and can cause emotional and mental damage.
I also agree with Seraph in so much as he should communicate with her about how her thoughtlessness effects him instead of freezing her out for days.
If she continues to be thoughtless and disregard how her actions effect him well of course the behavior will trigger conflict between them both.
If something is important to him such as (milk--getting milk--not forgetting to buy the milk) then try not react as if it doesn't matter, just because the milk issue doesn't impact you negatively doesn't mean it's not important.
I don't feel you should be punished for something so minor but you shouldn't disregard how important his request are. If your memory is that bad use sticky notes and plaster them on your desk at work and in the car. Work on your behavior and it may minimize the silent treatment your receiving.
Ostracizing, ignoring and giving the silent treatment is highly toxic and can cause emotional and mental damage.
I also agree with Seraph in so much as he should communicate with her about how her thoughtlessness effects him instead of freezing her out for days.
Posted by Denver34
check whole chart. you can pm me for privacy
Denver! Why didn't you ever answe my pm??
Posted by tiki33
... he should communicate with her about how her thoughtlessness effects him instead of freezing her out for days.
Absolutely-- I wouldn't be able to tolerate it.
Posted by tiki33
August Leo or July Leo? I prefer July Leo's because per my own experience July Leo's fit the astrological description to a T.
August Leo's and August Leo's on the cusp of Virgo can be moody and a bit of a nightmare because although they fit some of the astrological description of a Leo they got a whole lot of hidden emotional mess that creates emotional conflict and emotional tension.
My aunt is a Leo on the cusp of Virgo and although she was fun and sunny she could immediately flip into being mean, distant, cold, detached.
Giving the silent treatment is manipulative and it's abusive behavior. I'm not saying he's an abusive man, just want to make that clear but the behavior is unhealthy and considered to be a form of control and falls under the emotional abuse category which is why I made a solemn promise to myself to never date nor remain with a man that gives the silent treatment.
When the uncommunicative person withdraws affection, love and respect for an indefinite extended period of time causes emotional resentment, anger, unworthiness, depression, it feels like mental torture and the ignored attempts to find ways to appease the person whose giving the silent treatment, the ignored person feels anxiety not knowing when the treatment will end which is why I don't put up with it.
Stonewalling/refusal to answer questions or discuss a problem can be extremely hurtful. Nevertheless, when the silent treatment becomes a pattern in the relationship it will lead to bitterness and a slow, subtle weakening of the union which, if left unchecked, could signal the end of it.
Jus so you know this is not healthy for you and will follow you mentally and emotionally.
Hello.
I'm a 3rd decan Leo and I'm not moody. My nature is balanced and I possess a good degree of self-mastery.
Thank you for your extremely biased and generalizing opinion.
wow this really got carried away lol. Thank you all i do appriciate your imput and I feel uneasy with this thread how it sorta makes my leo seem like a monster and me seem ungreateful. I think its easy to appear that way over text but the best thing about this is starngers have nothing to hold back and really tell you like it is in which i really do truly appriciate.
of course there is more to this then a quick post. I do make sure to always own up to my mistakes even if it is forgetting milk I know that sometimes things slip past undone as I work 50 hours a week and raise children i try to be I do try to be on the top of my game at all times however sometimes get missed. If I was told about the issue I would jump up to correct right away with a sincere apology.
Again I do know that silent treatment is in the category of emotional abuse however I will not beg anyone to talk to me if they don??t know want to.
I do know this man well and know is nature and this silence is not to control me or a situation it is to control his own emotions out of fear of being hurt or fear of saying something out of anger to hurt me.
I in no way want to help him change he is as he is??_. I was asking as a way to help me understand it.
of course there is more to this then a quick post. I do make sure to always own up to my mistakes even if it is forgetting milk I know that sometimes things slip past undone as I work 50 hours a week and raise children i try to be I do try to be on the top of my game at all times however sometimes get missed. If I was told about the issue I would jump up to correct right away with a sincere apology.
Again I do know that silent treatment is in the category of emotional abuse however I will not beg anyone to talk to me if they don??t know want to.
I do know this man well and know is nature and this silence is not to control me or a situation it is to control his own emotions out of fear of being hurt or fear of saying something out of anger to hurt me.
I in no way want to help him change he is as he is??_. I was asking as a way to help me understand it.
No one is saying your Leo is a monster, that's not the case, however there is behavior that is being played out that is very toxic.
Silent treatment is not to control oneself, you are mistaken and that's a problem. Silent treatment is specifically done to punish, to alienate, to control the other person into behaving the way he wants her to. I think you should do your research about what this behavior means before putting your twist what you think it means.
If you want to understand then do your research on what his behavior means. Google has tons of info out there about women who are getting the silent treatment from their boyfriends and husbands. A lot of women blame themselves because the silent treatment puts a woman in the position to question all of her actions and behaviors because you must have done something to make this great guy who loves you turn on you and a lot of times it has nothing to do with you and what you did.
If we tell you it's abusive behavior and you insist that it's not then what's the point of discussing it.
Silent treatment is not to control oneself, you are mistaken and that's a problem. Silent treatment is specifically done to punish, to alienate, to control the other person into behaving the way he wants her to. I think you should do your research about what this behavior means before putting your twist what you think it means.
If you want to understand then do your research on what his behavior means. Google has tons of info out there about women who are getting the silent treatment from their boyfriends and husbands. A lot of women blame themselves because the silent treatment puts a woman in the position to question all of her actions and behaviors because you must have done something to make this great guy who loves you turn on you and a lot of times it has nothing to do with you and what you did.
If we tell you it's abusive behavior and you insist that it's not then what's the point of discussing it.
Thats exactly it Denver! its not coming from that place of intent to cause me any harm its his way. now if this was paired with other abusive type behavior or signs then that would be different i would be concerned however it is not. and its very few and far between i mean its been ages since this type of thing has happened and even then was only a couple times its not a natural behavior to handle our disputes its just sometimes i think when he is very hurt or overwhelmed with thought.
Then it's not silent treatment, silent treatment is specifically to do all of those things and more, if he's not giving her the silent treatment and taking a break from her, the behavior can be defined something else.
If he's taking a break then say he's taking a break but to say he's giving her the silent treatment only to minimize the behavior to being overwhelmed, it's suspect on her part.
Being overwhelmed and giving the silent treatment are 2 different scenarios and are not interconnected with one another. Had she stated overwhelmed with thought in the beginning this thread would not be 2 pages long lol.
If he's taking a break then say he's taking a break but to say he's giving her the silent treatment only to minimize the behavior to being overwhelmed, it's suspect on her part.
Being overwhelmed and giving the silent treatment are 2 different scenarios and are not interconnected with one another. Had she stated overwhelmed with thought in the beginning this thread would not be 2 pages long lol.
lol Maybe i should have called it something else. My bad.
Posted by shorty1978
Thats exactly it Denver! its not coming from that place of intent to cause me any harm its his way. now if this was paired with other abusive type behavior or signs then that would be different i would be concerned however it is not. and its very few and far between i mean its been ages since this type of thing has happened and even then was only a couple times its not a natural behavior to handle our disputes its just sometimes i think when he is very hurt or overwhelmed with thought.
Ages?
Posted by shorty1978
My man doesn??t speak to me at all!!
About anything ... when he is upset with me...
... my dude would like to not speak to me period for days!!!
if I make the mistake of asking if he wants to talk or bring it up
he gets mad again and it starts all over!!click to expand
Well, if it doesn't bother you anymore... *shrugs*
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