How Fast Do Aries Move On?
Posted by Bohemianrhapsody74
If it was real love I personally never get over them. Always in your heart forever..
Yup.....
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I'm a direct to the point kind of person (Cap ascendent Gemini).
5 minutes ago my close friend (A Gem) called me. I tried to get in touch with him earlier but he didn't answer at all.
**Side note: Gem always text me, even if I'm at work, to get my attention. He asks what I'm doing, who I'm with, where I am, when I'll get home, etc. And I always answer right away. I didn't before and he got mad. I see it as him caring about me.**
So I asked him where he was, what he did. Out of curiosity and because well, he always ask me. And like 90% of the time, he gave me a generic answer. "Stuff. Downtown." Very vague. While my answers are always: "I'm with NAME and NAME at Starbucks and we are going PLACE next."
I normally brush it off, but lately, I've been stressed and I snapped.
I told him: "Why are you doing this? I always answer, you don't. I hate it!" He gave me a Why not? as an answer. Like he didn't care. I got mad, told him he didn't care about me, that he was using me and told him it was hurtful. He said he was sorry and I told him something like "Whatever! If I were your friend you'd tell me things and you would share with me, like friends do" and I left.
As a Cap, I'm always emotionless but this Gem, we've been very close friends for 8 years and sometimes I feel like he doesn't care.
2-3 months ago, I told him I didn't like the way he was treating me, and told him I would be his friend only. That there would be no feelings involved and he got so mad!
He asked me why, said things like "Don't do this to me! Don't leave me!" like I was breaking up with him.
As Geminis, and it's why I'm here: Do you think it'll make him think or he won't care?
**Side note #2: When we argue or fight. The next day, he will talk to me like nothing happened and life will goes on. Which is something I love about us**
But I feel like maybe I went too far this time :/
5 minutes ago my close friend (A Gem) called me. I tried to get in touch with him earlier but he didn't answer at all.
**Side note: Gem always text me, even if I'm at work, to get my attention. He asks what I'm doing, who I'm with, where I am, when I'll get home, etc. And I always answer right away. I didn't before and he got mad. I see it as him caring about me.**
So I asked him where he was, what he did. Out of curiosity and because well, he always ask me. And like 90% of the time, he gave me a generic answer. "Stuff. Downtown." Very vague. While my answers are always: "I'm with NAME and NAME at Starbucks and we are going PLACE next."
I normally brush it off, but lately, I've been stressed and I snapped.
I told him: "Why are you doing this? I always answer, you don't. I hate it!" He gave me a Why not? as an answer. Like he didn't care. I got mad, told him he didn't care about me, that he was using me and told him it was hurtful. He said he was sorry and I told him something like "Whatever! If I were your friend you'd tell me things and you would share with me, like friends do" and I left.
As a Cap, I'm always emotionless but this Gem, we've been very close friends for 8 years and sometimes I feel like he doesn't care.
2-3 months ago, I told him I didn't like the way he was treating me, and told him I would be his friend only. That there would be no feelings involved and he got so mad!
He asked me why, said things like "Don't do this to me! Don't leave me!" like I was breaking up with him.
As Geminis, and it's why I'm here: Do you think it'll make him think or he won't care?
**Side note #2: When we argue or fight. The next day, he will talk to me like nothing happened and life will goes on. Which is something I love about us**
But I feel like maybe I went too far this time :/
Signed Up: Sep 10, 2010
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Posted by impresssme
Aries don??t have time to think about shit like that. We are very busy people.
Wot she said.
We don't give a rats arse who thinks they are superior.
If someone claims to be superior to you then look a little closer - chances are they are stepping on you to make themselves feel taller/bigger/better/whatever.
Genrally pays to be wary of anyone like that.
I'm sure that's exactly what he meant 
and now that i think of it... sometimes i am slow to give something new to try once the idea is proposed to me.
i've caught myself bucking and kicking when asked to do something different and im set in a certain way. then when given space to think about it, i end up coming around to doing it.
i've caught myself bucking and kicking when asked to do something different and im set in a certain way. then when given space to think about it, i end up coming around to doing it.
ugh...
blech
sometimes i really hate spending money!!!!!!
blech
sometimes i really hate spending money!!!!!!
Real Talk- I agree with you 100% .
However, when I reward good behavior, he shuts down --or acts entitled.
Moreover, I don't want to reward bad behavior, but I don't want to really lose him either.
My girlfriend said I shouldn't have kicked him out. She says I should have slept on the couch for two weeks and ignored him in the house, went out, etc. But kicking him out gave him an escape route. Oh well, too late for that suggestion.
I don't know his Natal chart. He doesn't know what time he was born. He really acts like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
I suppose if he really loves me and wants me, he'll be back.
Maybe my ego can't deal with rejection. I feel rejected A LOT.
But, he says "ILU" first, proposed, we have kids... if he didn't want me, would he bother?
Also, some introspective thinking the past few days has me suspcious that he might be overwhelmed by me.
He also keeps asking if I slept with anyone. I got peeved once and said, "I'm not you dude!" ...ouch.
Hey, but I'm like damn... do you want me to? Should I say yes? LOL... I never cheated, he has
NO RATIONAL reason to even question THAT.
I wonder if he's looking for a 'valid enough' reason to justify his behavior or leaving for good...but can't find one.
However, when I reward good behavior, he shuts down --or acts entitled.
Moreover, I don't want to reward bad behavior, but I don't want to really lose him either.
My girlfriend said I shouldn't have kicked him out. She says I should have slept on the couch for two weeks and ignored him in the house, went out, etc. But kicking him out gave him an escape route. Oh well, too late for that suggestion.
I don't know his Natal chart. He doesn't know what time he was born. He really acts like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
I suppose if he really loves me and wants me, he'll be back.
Maybe my ego can't deal with rejection. I feel rejected A LOT.
But, he says "ILU" first, proposed, we have kids... if he didn't want me, would he bother?
Also, some introspective thinking the past few days has me suspcious that he might be overwhelmed by me.
He also keeps asking if I slept with anyone. I got peeved once and said, "I'm not you dude!" ...ouch.
Hey, but I'm like damn... do you want me to? Should I say yes? LOL... I never cheated, he has
NO RATIONAL reason to even question THAT.
I wonder if he's looking for a 'valid enough' reason to justify his behavior or leaving for good...but can't find one.
Next week it will be a month of him not living here.
I'm concerned he's getting comfortable in his new environment.
And his staying with his family, who are enabling him.
He's in his late 30's. He's not put in 1 job application since he's been gone.
Not that he has to. He's being treated there like he's 15.
His family just bought him new clothes and got his hair cut.
On top of this, I'm sure his girl"friends" are enabling him too.
All this can cloud his judgement. I already know he's dazed by a new iphone he got.
I can't compete on that level nor do I want to, nor should I have to.
Actually, on that topic- I often wonder what I have to offer him in this relationship since I am compared to the combined effort and resources of a dozen people- minus the strings.
However, to digress... how LONG from coming home is "too long" to wait before I should just "get the hint" that he's not coming back?
He wants to move out of state. I think this may help him control his behavior, at least initially since access to the exes is impossible. But what would keep him from simply making NEW relationships in this new place. Last thing I want is to leave my home area to a new state and be played there, to be stuck in nowhereville... Still, it's worth getting closer to risk it. But, we can't financially make it happen fast enough apparently.
He's very "instant gratification"...
Do you think marriage might change his mindset some? Or will I just be married to the drama?
I understad love vs. in love. I don't know where he and I are. Sometimes it's like love. Sometimes he's all super duh and lusty. Then it's goes back and forth. Blech. Wish I knew... if I ask, he acts insulted. Hmph.
The novelties, I think he used them with someone else and that's why they were opened. I'm not in the least bit threatened by anything sexual. In fact, I often have to approach it carefully because I know he's a freak but I don't want him to judge me as lacking dignity. But I'll be frank with you, I'm a freak. He knows this. So no reason to hide the stuff unless it was "evidence."
You may have something when you say, "He blames yu because its his way of not coming to turns with the fact that he's done
something wrong. Guilt is a hard pill for us to swallow so try not to take it personally."
Still, he did many things wrong. If I did that to him, he'd probably kill himself.
How much room is TOO Much ROOM?
I'm concerned he's getting comfortable in his new environment.
And his staying with his family, who are enabling him.
He's in his late 30's. He's not put in 1 job application since he's been gone.
Not that he has to. He's being treated there like he's 15.
His family just bought him new clothes and got his hair cut.
On top of this, I'm sure his girl"friends" are enabling him too.
All this can cloud his judgement. I already know he's dazed by a new iphone he got.
I can't compete on that level nor do I want to, nor should I have to.
Actually, on that topic- I often wonder what I have to offer him in this relationship since I am compared to the combined effort and resources of a dozen people- minus the strings.
However, to digress... how LONG from coming home is "too long" to wait before I should just "get the hint" that he's not coming back?
He wants to move out of state. I think this may help him control his behavior, at least initially since access to the exes is impossible. But what would keep him from simply making NEW relationships in this new place. Last thing I want is to leave my home area to a new state and be played there, to be stuck in nowhereville... Still, it's worth getting closer to risk it. But, we can't financially make it happen fast enough apparently.
He's very "instant gratification"...
Do you think marriage might change his mindset some? Or will I just be married to the drama?
I understad love vs. in love. I don't know where he and I are. Sometimes it's like love. Sometimes he's all super duh and lusty. Then it's goes back and forth. Blech. Wish I knew... if I ask, he acts insulted. Hmph.
The novelties, I think he used them with someone else and that's why they were opened. I'm not in the least bit threatened by anything sexual. In fact, I often have to approach it carefully because I know he's a freak but I don't want him to judge me as lacking dignity. But I'll be frank with you, I'm a freak. He knows this. So no reason to hide the stuff unless it was "evidence."
You may have something when you say, "He blames yu because its his way of not coming to turns with the fact that he's done
something wrong. Guilt is a hard pill for us to swallow so try not to take it personally."
Still, he did many things wrong. If I did that to him, he'd probably kill himself.
How much room is TOO Much ROOM?
I can tell you this about my Gem.
He's got the lowest self esteem in the universe. He's very flirty, confident in appearance, but inside, he's got this thing where he thinks he's a loser, no one loves him, etc. He told me many times that he's not a good person. But I show him that he is, and I've sticked with him for 8 years. Told him I'm not leaving him and I'll stay for as long as he wants me in his life.
He only has 3-4 friends and I'm one of them. But as for us dating: He told me many times that he loves me. But we live far from each other so it's not possible.
He talked about moving here, me there but I told him to get his life in order. (Him staying there means he can see his kids and it's better for him. I love him, but I'm sacrificing myself for him to be a good father)
He's got the lowest self esteem in the universe. He's very flirty, confident in appearance, but inside, he's got this thing where he thinks he's a loser, no one loves him, etc. He told me many times that he's not a good person. But I show him that he is, and I've sticked with him for 8 years. Told him I'm not leaving him and I'll stay for as long as he wants me in his life.
He only has 3-4 friends and I'm one of them. But as for us dating: He told me many times that he loves me. But we live far from each other so it's not possible.
He talked about moving here, me there but I told him to get his life in order. (Him staying there means he can see his kids and it's better for him. I love him, but I'm sacrificing myself for him to be a good father)
"Yes, he's cheated/lied.
I've only caught him in lies over cheating.
He's done it multiple times.
He's got several kids from prior relationships.
He often cheats with his exes that have his kids, but also new girls.
But it's not often.
I sense with some (like exes) he senses an obligation of some kind.
Or he ventures out for variety, because our relationship can get boring sometimes.
Or he's still in love with all of them.
Or he's really a jerk and my life is all an illusion."
He sounds like a nightmare!! I don't know what's wrong with him but what is wrong with you?
"What makes me go back?
Chemistry/attraction, his (empty) promises, having kids together, being good friends most of the time"
So let me get this straight, just because you share chemistry/attraction you stay with him only to get cheated on, lied to and mistreated. Ugh! No wonder he cheats, you are the epitome of being a doormat, HE'S LOST RESPECT FOR YOU and when that happens he'll drag your ass down to the ground and keep you there if you let him.
Let me SAY THIS though, I don't believe you are a loser nor a doormat but you've LOST YOURSELF in the relationship and your BEHAVIOR says a story about you as person as in what you accept and what you accept says you're a doormat, no man is going to be loyal to a woman that disrespects herself and allow a man to disrespect her.
The reason he hasn't brought his clothes back because he know you want him back, he's going to make yo ass beg and you probably will beg him to come back, have some pride, stop calling him and stop worrying about him, he'll be back when it's convenient for him to come back, right now he's using the free time to do his own thing.
I've only caught him in lies over cheating.
He's done it multiple times.
He's got several kids from prior relationships.
He often cheats with his exes that have his kids, but also new girls.
But it's not often.
I sense with some (like exes) he senses an obligation of some kind.
Or he ventures out for variety, because our relationship can get boring sometimes.
Or he's still in love with all of them.
Or he's really a jerk and my life is all an illusion."
He sounds like a nightmare!! I don't know what's wrong with him but what is wrong with you?
"What makes me go back?
Chemistry/attraction, his (empty) promises, having kids together, being good friends most of the time"
So let me get this straight, just because you share chemistry/attraction you stay with him only to get cheated on, lied to and mistreated. Ugh! No wonder he cheats, you are the epitome of being a doormat, HE'S LOST RESPECT FOR YOU and when that happens he'll drag your ass down to the ground and keep you there if you let him.
Let me SAY THIS though, I don't believe you are a loser nor a doormat but you've LOST YOURSELF in the relationship and your BEHAVIOR says a story about you as person as in what you accept and what you accept says you're a doormat, no man is going to be loyal to a woman that disrespects herself and allow a man to disrespect her.
The reason he hasn't brought his clothes back because he know you want him back, he's going to make yo ass beg and you probably will beg him to come back, have some pride, stop calling him and stop worrying about him, he'll be back when it's convenient for him to come back, right now he's using the free time to do his own thing.
I just don't understand his whole: "I treat you like crap, but I love you and I wanna be with you" and when you tell him he's hurting you, it's like I'm talking to a heartless person.