Scorpio moons and grief
This topic was created in the Scorpio Moon forum by Ram416 on Tuesday, August 22, 2017 and has 22 replies.
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.
People process and deal with grief in many different ways and at different levels as well as at different stages in time. You will never deal with it the same way as another person would or might, it's personal to you. How unfortunate that people are comparing you to how others deal with it.
I know I'm not a scorpio moonie but i just wanted to give that perspective.
To you Ram.
I know I'm not a scorpio moonie but i just wanted to give that perspective.
To you Ram. Posted by LivenLuvGo to bed Aries moon!
I'm sorry for you Ram. I can tell you're so strong and there for your Mom by your words, but you need that time too. I'm really sorry for you both. Best wishes and lots of love and hugs ❤️
Same with me people keep on telling me its fine to cry,i deal with it differently,i do cry just not infront of everyone or anyone,i cry when im alone silently weeping,and it takes a lot for me to cry so when i do cry it means its too much.only people who understand me know how sensitive i am,you will deal with it by your time
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
No. Everyone grieves differently. Do not let anyone tell you what's the "right" and "wrong" way to grieve. The only time it's "wrong" is if there's something highly destructive in some way (reckless behavior, drug/alcohol abuse, etc).
People at work were shocked when I was back at work under a week after my mom had passed. I didn't want to do it, but it was the holidays and I needed money for bills and Christmas. I can compartmentalize and keeping busy helped me. It doesn't mean I wasn't feeling all the grief and other crap you get to deal with during a loss.
It's such a common issue that those who are grieving face- "am I even grieving properly?"
Yes. Everyone has their own way to deal.
If you haven't seen something like this already-
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
People at work were shocked when I was back at work under a week after my mom had passed. I didn't want to do it, but it was the holidays and I needed money for bills and Christmas. I can compartmentalize and keeping busy helped me. It doesn't mean I wasn't feeling all the grief and other crap you get to deal with during a loss.
It's such a common issue that those who are grieving face- "am I even grieving properly?"
Yes. Everyone has their own way to deal.
If you haven't seen something like this already-
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/
(((hugs))) to you and your mum, Ram
I don't recall myself crying when my grandmother (dad's mom) died. But then again I was a child. And I wasn't that close to my grandmother (she lives in another city away from mines and we only meet up sometimes). Both my parents cried (they barely have water in their charts), I didn't.
It's strange really, as I behaved the same as you when your dad died, but I did develop a fear of death so to speak when I saw her corpse -- she died smiling.
I'm a Pisces moon as you may know and have Moon square Pluto, so I have characteristics similar to yours, but I believe water moons have different triggers if it makes sense? I cried towards things that are less significant, yet didn't cry at my grandmother's funeral. Maybe that's the case as to why you didn't cry.
Also stay strong of course. I'll cut the typical feel-better lines since I find it a bit awkward to say it to a guy as a guy myself, but nonetheless hang in there.
It's strange really, as I behaved the same as you when your dad died, but I did develop a fear of death so to speak when I saw her corpse -- she died smiling.
I'm a Pisces moon as you may know and have Moon square Pluto, so I have characteristics similar to yours, but I believe water moons have different triggers if it makes sense? I cried towards things that are less significant, yet didn't cry at my grandmother's funeral. Maybe that's the case as to why you didn't cry.
Also stay strong of course. I'll cut the typical feel-better lines since I find it a bit awkward to say it to a guy as a guy myself, but nonetheless hang in there.
No right or wrong way about it, certainly none of anyone's goddam beeswax how you wanna deal.
Being strong for your mama is super amazing you're amazing you aren't broken and I luv ya ~*~
Being strong for your mama is super amazing you're amazing you aren't broken and I luv ya ~*~
Posted by TauruswithspunkExplains what?
Sorry for your loss... Scorpio moon...explains a lot now.
Posted by NemDeuxIndeed work is proving to be a saving grace for me as well. New job, more responsibilities, almost drowning in work but it keeps me looking forward instead of backwards.Posted by Ram416my sincere condolences, ram.
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.
a sudden/unexpected death of somebody so close ...well, it can take a while until it really sinks in ...yes; intellectually you have understood ...but sometimes it's a defense mechanism ...
scorp lunars are very internalizing creatures. in same cases to our detriment. like pressure cookers that are forgotten on the stove.
but at the bottom line; we all deal with our hardships in our terms ...although your relatives comments annoy you, it is probably coming from a good place.
i personally only cried at home or in front of my parents when my brother died. after a week of his passing i found work was my saving grace. i pulled back for over a year; was at home.
much love, dear ❤
if you need to talk, pm's are open!click to expand
And my new boss...is a Pisces lol
Posted by Ram416I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure that's never easy despite how you show.
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.
Are you Aries sun, Scorpio moon? My mom is this combo and I've never understood her. When I found out she was Scorpio moon I was shocked bc she has such a coldness about her in my growing up and now that I observe her she seems so detached, emotionally, from most things. I would think Scorpio moon would be different.
I take it that she doesn't know how to deal. In rare occasions do I see her breakdown. You guys probably just "show" emotion differently or should I say don't show.
An astrologer told me Scorpio represents frozen tears, so in the moon it would be moreso
You are what you are Ram, don't listen to others......
You are what you are Ram, don't listen to others......
Sorry for your loss Ram416
Your mom is fortunate to have you there for her...
Your mom is fortunate to have you there for her...
Posted by UnwordingI probably would be grieving a lot differently. It's the 6th house moon thing kicking in.Posted by Ram416Do you think you'd be grieving any differently if your mother wasn't a top priority right now?
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.click to expand
Posted by aNEWdayYes I am Aries sun/Scorpio moon.Posted by Ram416I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure that's never easy despite how you show.
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.
Are you Aries sun, Scorpio moon? My mom is this combo and I've never understood her. When I found out she was Scorpio moon I was shocked bc she has such a coldness about her in my growing up and now that I observe her she seems so detached, emotionally, from most things. I would think Scorpio moon would be different.
I take it that she doesn't know how to deal. In rare occasions do I see her breakdown. You guys probably just "show" emotion differently or should I say don't show.click to expand
As is the case with Scorpio placements in general, we don't like showing emotional vulnerability. It doesn't mean we're emotionally detached, we just prefer to internalize the emotions and compartmentalize them as we see fit. But I dunno...that's just based on what I've noticed about myself and a couple of other scorpio moons in real life.
Im so sorry for your loss. I grieve just like this, so no it's not just you.
Posted by CaramelizedCoffeeThank you.
I won't make this about my hatred of that moon placement.
I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for your loss losing a parent has to be the worst
May you and your mother be able to carry the weight of this tragedy.
I'm not a Scorpio moon, but I tend to not cry when I feel like I need to be strong for others. One of my best friends is a Scorpio moon through and I rarely see her cry. Only when she's frustrated, not when she's sad. I understand she has that need to be strong too, or deals with it alone.
Everyone is different. There is nothing wrong with you.
Everyone is different. There is nothing wrong with you.
Signed Up: Mar 30, 2012
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by Ram416I did the same thing when my dad died. I ended up putting on a brave face for the parental because she was already torn up as it is. I didn't like seeing her get more upset when she saw us upset.Posted by UnwordingI probably would be grieving a lot differently. It's the 6th house moon thing kicking in.Posted by Ram416Do you think you'd be grieving any differently if your mother wasn't a top priority right now?
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.click to expand
I didn't NOT grieve, but I became more of the rock in the situation, especially since my family was getting weird in telling HER how to grieve (or lack thereof).
Being an Aries sun and Scorpio Moon, your grief will most likely start showing up in different ways. You might feel angry easier, or you might cry easier at some point. I find that Scorpio moons energy manifests it's grief in ways that can actually cause them more pain and havoc, or just lash out in the wrong direction.
You are probably numb right now.. It's truly apart of the grief stage, I feel. Were you and your dad close? Do you think since your mom isn't handling it so well, you're absorbing her energy, which is preventing you from really feeling yours, yet.
Idk, I could be completely off base here.
either way.. I'm so terribly sorry to hear this!
You are probably numb right now.. It's truly apart of the grief stage, I feel. Were you and your dad close? Do you think since your mom isn't handling it so well, you're absorbing her energy, which is preventing you from really feeling yours, yet.
Idk, I could be completely off base here.
either way.. I'm so terribly sorry to hear this!
Posted by WateryGemYou have such epic timing, WG. My dad's 40th day memorial was yesterday. Yes it is numbness of a sort. My dad was my solar opposite with an Aqua moon. So we either got along really well or we fought a lot. It was quite extreme.
Being an Aries sun and Scorpio Moon, your grief will most likely start showing up in different ways. You might feel angry easier, or you might cry easier at some point. I find that Scorpio moons energy manifests it's grief in ways that can actually cause them more pain and havoc, or just lash out in the wrong direction.
You are probably numb right now.. It's truly apart of the grief stage, I feel. Were you and your dad close? Do you think since your mom isn't handling it so well, you're absorbing her energy, which is preventing you from really feeling yours, yet.
Idk, I could be completely off base here.
either way.. I'm so terribly sorry to hear this!
Posted by Ram416I'm the exact same way. I feel as Scorpio moons we are the rock when everyone is an emotion mess. Sometimes to the point they may feel we are void of emotion. I find like you I grieve in my own personal ways. I feel those times release emotions from moments we don't even realize are associated with the given situation. There's nothing wrong with that imo. When the time is right you will grieve and release emotions from many things, and might not even realize some of those things are from the death of loved ones. I feel its natural for us. Also I'm sorry to hear the loss of your father, and hope the best in finding some peace of mind for you and your whole family.
So...I have this thing.
It's not really a big deal for me, but it may seem like a big deal for others around me, and that includes my Cancer moon mother.
My Libra dad passed away suddenly from a heart attack, exactly a month ago, and I guess I can say it was quite a traumatic experience for both my mum and me. From home (where we found him slumped in his bathroom) to hospital (where, despite being unconscious, the doctor told us he was fighting to breathe before he gave up). And when the news came in, I secretly vowed to be there for the Cancer moon, since it's only the 2 of us left.
It has been difficult for her - she lost both parents in 2015 and 2016, and now her husband. I can't imagine losing so many people in such a short period of time. My grandparents were both very old and quite sickly, so it was only a matter of time. My dad's passing was the biggest shocker of the 3.
So I am not sure, is it me or what? I keep getting told by relatives that it's OK to cry and OK to grieve, despite me telling them that I have my own way of grieving, which doesn't include crying all the damn time. But now I am wondering, is it me? Have I subconsciously shut myself down emotionally? It doesn't feel that way to me, but to some people, it seems as if I have.
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