Ladies - would you go All Out to get a guy, and give him everything?
Cont'd And I felt insecure too. So it all fell apart. Along with my marriage sadly So what I'm trying to say is that if you net someone else who you really loved, would you leave your marriage and life etc and go all out for a guy, just for him to mov...
This topic was created in the Relationships & Astrology forum by pooface222 on Friday, July 24, 2020 and has 95 replies.
You are on page out of 2 | Reverse Order
Posted by pinkbird03I would Soooo LOVE to xx
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
BUT..after 6yrs of (stupidly) waiting for each other to leave our partners, he has told me 3 things.
1) I want to take care of my son by providing him with a home; my son will share the mortgage with me.
2) I want to see if I can live on my own (he was 50 in February).
3) I'm not jumping from one rship to another.
This last one amuses, and upsets me. He WAS jumping from one rship to another to start with.
From his partner, to Me!
So now..after 6yrs, we are not together, and my heart is broken 😪
To this day I am confused as to why he didnt leave his partner 4yrs ago, like he said he was. Get a flat, like he said he was, even when I suggested that we flat-hunt together and discuss money for a 3 bed flat for the 4 of us, he just didn't go for it with me.
THEN a couple of months later, took me on a lunch date and said..
"Where do we go from here? What now? Why are you with him?"
🤦♀️
I wouldn't go all out for something that wasn't mine.
I think it's time to move on and find someone who values you.
I think it's time to move on and find someone who values you.
Posted by UndineLook if you have NOTHING NICE to say then YOU move on!Posted by pooface222Posted by Undine
If he is buying a house now, he doesn't seem to be living off women, or waiting for them to provide for him...
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
You can do away with your judgemental comments of fleecing my husband Thank you very much!
He wanted a baby with me then began making threats to leave me if I didn't obey his demands.
He Hated me working! The more hours I worked, the more verbally abusive he became!
You see..i wanted to look after our baby in the daytime, and see other mummy friends I had made, and take our child to playgroups and swimming and other fun mummy & baby activities.
I then wanted to work in the evenings and a couple of hours weekend mornings.
That way i can be mummy and still earn money teaching fitness classes.
However he got at me regularly for my working pattern - 4 nights a week for 1 hour each.
THIS was part of my working pattern before pregnancy. Now that i was going back to my old pattern of work suddenly my husband can't stand it!
Everything i did was wrong INCLUDING taking on more work to support myself so that I am NOT living off my husband SMARTYPANTS!
YES, you were living of your husband, like it or not. Surely he told you --before you tied the knot--that he expected children during his marriage (like most people do) and also an old school, stay at home wife (apart from a hobby or two)? Is that not what you agreed to? Did you leave a promising career to become a house maker?
You could have chosen to end your marriage, yet you carried on. Took a lover and made the life of your husband hell, so he ended up divorcing you instead, for unreasonable behaviour! How much money and assets did you get from your divorce?
Anyway, what happened, happened. You can't change the past, no matter how bitter you are about your ex lover who moved on and bought himself a house, and how much you try to re-write what happened. Move on!click to expand
Besides, if I remember, aren't you a Man?
I could be wrong but I'm sure from previous posts you are.
My post here says LADIES!
Sorry if I'm wrong.
I got zero assests. No pension. Nothing.
Just a lump sum to buy a small place while HE lives in the 4 bed family home. Alone!
If you had bothered to read properly you'd realise that i had been in a very controlling marriage for years but was scared to leave after years of abuse.
This is why i didn't end my marriage.
FEAR.
HE made MY life Hell.
Control. Verbal emotional abuse!
The Pisces guy came into my life with all of his issues including being in a relationship AND still being married to his ex-wife AND had a teenage son - who is now 20.
So with his situation being in a mess, I couldn't even be with him!
So 2yrs after we met (we met in 2014), he was divorced and told me "I'm getting a flat."
So i said "I'll divorce my husband."
It never happened.
I said "lets hunt for places together..discuss money "
I was left confused.
So he stayed with his partner.
I stayed with my husband.
Pisces guy left me.
But 5hen he kept coming back after months. Then leaving. Then coming back!?
I told my therapist this same story about both men.
My husband wrecking our marriage with his control. Becoming worse towards me when i became depressed.
Then wondered why i started a rship with someone else.!?
He never really apologised except for a sarcastic I'M SORRY OK?!
He just gave me solent treatment and not one word of love to convince me to stay.
The pisces guy expected Me to leave first despite me earning a small wage, and not considering that i will be a single mum upon divorce.
My therapist said..
"You were stuck between Two Weak Men."
My husband wrecking our marriage with his control. Becoming worse towards me when i became depressed.
Then wondered why i started a rship with someone else.!?
He never really apologised except for a sarcastic I'M SORRY OK?!
He just gave me solent treatment and not one word of love to convince me to stay.
The pisces guy expected Me to leave first despite me earning a small wage, and not considering that i will be a single mum upon divorce.
My therapist said..
"You were stuck between Two Weak Men."
Posted by pooface222Ok and how did that conversation go? Almost sounds like he likes you but doesn’t want to commit.Posted by pinkbird03
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
I would Soooo LOVE to xx
BUT..after 6yrs of (stupidly) waiting for each other to leave our partners, he has told me 3 things.
1) I want to take care of my son by providing him with a home; my son will share the mortgage with me.
2) I want to see if I can live on my own (he was 50 in February).
3) I'm not jumping from one rship to another.
This last one amuses, and upsets me. He WAS jumping from one rship to another to start with.
From his partner, to Me!
So now..after 6yrs, we are not together, and my heart is broken 😪
To this day I am confused as to why he didnt leave his partner 4yrs ago, like he said he was. Get a flat, like he said he was, even when I suggested that we flat-hunt together and discuss money for a 3 bed flat for the 4 of us, he just didn't go for it with me.
THEN a couple of months later, took me on a lunch date and said..
"Where do we go from here? What now? Why are you with him?"
🤦♀️click to expand
Posted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.click to expand
How did he fleece you, if he gave you a lump sum big enough to buy a 2 bed flat without a mortgage? He's also paying child support and some maintenance for you, I suppose? How many decades would you have had to pay the mortgage for this flat, if it wasn't for your husband? I bought my 2 bed flat 16 years ago, and I'm still paying mortgage out of my full time job. Welcome to the real life!
I don't have any sympathy for women like you. I know your type well. When I was a child, staying at my grandma's cottage every summer holidays, my eldest aunt --a Pisces--came visit. She arrived in a car with her personal driver, at a time when cars were rarely seen in that village. She then dismissed the driver, prevented him from entering the house, and let my grandma bring him water and food. She looked wealthy, elegant, with hair and nails freshly done. She only stayed for a few hours, being too posh to overnight with us.
What was she doing during that time? Talking in an affected voice about how fucking difficult her life was! That she had to give up her job as a teacher, to raise one single spoilt brat. That all she had to do, was attending parties and visits with her Cap husband (who was the mayor of a small town) and doing--god forbid--small talk! Then she complained about her husband, who as far as I could see when they came visit together, adored her! Apparently, all that she wanted, was to teach needlecraft to school children!
She was telling all these to her hard working and less privileged sisters with full time jobs --farmer and administrator. I could see her sisters rolling their eyes and laughing out loud after she left. She survived her husband by only a few months (practically she starved herself to death), since she didn't know how to live without him.
Despite me being the spit image of her younger self (there were 45 years between us), I couldn't stand her, and so did my cousins.
you need to take care of your life and autonomy first, then see what's going on with th rships after, don't mix the two things, be on your own
Posted by UndinePooface is nothing like your aunt and you shouldn’t be so disrespectful to her because you’re making that connection.Posted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
How did he fleece you, if he gave you a lump sum big enough to buy a 2 bed flat without a mortgage? He's also paying child support and some maintenance for you, I suppose? How many decades would you have had to pay the mortgage for this flat, if it wasn't for your husband? I bought my 2 bed flat 16 years ago, and I'm still paying mortgage out of my full time job. Welcome to the real life!
I don't have any sympathy for women like you. I know your type well. When I was a child, staying at my grandma's cottage every summer holidays, my eldest aunt --a Pisces--came visit. She arrived in a car with her personal driver, at a time when cars were rarely seen in that village. She then dismissed the driver, prevented him from entering the house, and let my grandma bring him water and food. She looked wealthy, elegant, with hair and nails freshly done. She only stayed for a few hours, being too posh to overnight with us.
What was she doing during that time? Talking in an affected voice about how fucking difficult her life was! That she had to give up her job as a teacher, to raise one single spoilt brat. That all she had to do, was attending parties and visits with her Cap husband (who was the mayor of a small town) and doing--god forbid--small talk! Then she complained about her husband, who as far as I could see when they came visit together, adored her! Apparently, all that she wanted, was to teach needlecraft to school children!
She was telling all these to her hard working and less privileged sisters with full time jobs --farmer and administrator. I could see her sisters rolling their eyes and laughing out loud after she left. She survived her husband by only a few months (practically she starved herself to death), since she didn't know how to live without him.
Despite me being the spit image of her younger self (there were 45 years between us), I couldn't stand her, and so did my cousins.click to expand
Posted by pinkbird03Excuse me?Posted by UndinePosted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
How did he fleece you, if he gave you a lump sum big enough to buy a 2 bed flat without a mortgage? He's also paying child support and some maintenance for you, I suppose? How many decades would you have had to pay the mortgage for this flat, if it wasn't for your husband? I bought my 2 bed flat 16 years ago, and I'm still paying mortgage out of my full time job. Welcome to the real life!
I don't have any sympathy for women like you. I know your type well. When I was a child, staying at my grandma's cottage every summer holidays, my eldest aunt --a Pisces--came visit. She arrived in a car with her personal driver, at a time when cars were rarely seen in that village. She then dismissed the driver, prevented him from entering the house, and let my grandma bring him water and food. She looked wealthy, elegant, with hair and nails freshly done. She only stayed for a few hours, being too posh to overnight with us.
What was she doing during that time? Talking in an affected voice about how fucking difficult her life was! That she had to give up her job as a teacher, to raise one single spoilt brat. That all she had to do, was attending parties and visits with her Cap husband (who was the mayor of a small town) and doing--god forbid--small talk! Then she complained about her husband, who as far as I could see when they came visit together, adored her! Apparently, all that she wanted, was to teach needlecraft to school children!
She was telling all these to her hard working and less privileged sisters with full time jobs --farmer and administrator. I could see her sisters rolling their eyes and laughing out loud after she left. She survived her husband by only a few months (practically she starved herself to death), since she didn't know how to live without him.
Despite me being the spit image of her younger self (there were 45 years between us), I couldn't stand her, and so did my cousins.
Pooface is nothing like your aunt and you shouldn’t be so disrespectful to her because you’re making that connection.click to expand
Read her post again. See how she complained about the privileged life she lived and agreed to.
I'm not disrespectful about my aunt, silly! It's pooface I have no respect for, since she is 10000 time worse than my aunt. My aunt didn't cheat on her husband, or pretended that she didn't know what she signed for when she got married! She didn't make his life a hell because she was too weak to divorce him and go after some lover she was obsessed with. She didn't cried "I've been fleeced" for leaving her a small fortune!
SMH
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by pooface222
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
Yes and no.
I want everything to be as 50/50 as possible. But if my dude lost his job for some hypothetical reason I wouldn’t mind shouldering the bills for a few months while he looked for work. The caveat being, he needs to actively look for work.
In your situation... absolutely not. I wouldn’t want this guy to move into my place without a rental agreement in place so that I’m assured and protected that he is paying for his weight.
Yeah! It wasn’t mentioned he was thinking paying for anything...was it?
And question for you. How many ‘few’ months would your tough ass let him be looking for work considering nowadays there weren’t many since March? Just curious how tough women think.click to expand
Well this is all hypothetical.
In reality he has far more job security than I do in these rona times.
He project manages a hospital build which is gonna take the next 4-5 years.
If the housing market suffers then I'll be the one hurting and he'll be paying my way.
But he is far more financially savvy then me which is why I'm following his lead to take less of a loan then we are approved for. The idea being if either of us loose our jobs then the other can still comfortably make the payments. If we are both working we will do double payments in order to own 50% in 5 years and have the option to feasibly turn it to a profitable rental property.
But as to your question... he wouldn't need more than a few months. His industry is a total boys club and monopoly and is all about who you know, not what you know.
As of rn he has 2 other companies with standing job offers on the table, but I told him go where the money and experience is which is why he's working for the company he's at.
@gemiawesomeass
I forgot to add that history plays a big part in how I feel about financially taking care of my man (or really anyone for that matter).
My dude has held me down for the last 6 years. He's been there for me when I needed him, emotionally, physically, and financially. So because there is that trust built and a pattern of support I would feel good about being able to step in a hold him up if he needed the help.
But in the Op's situation her side lover hasn't supported her like that. He's only given excuses and ultimatums.
"I'll divorce when you divorce."
"I won't move out of my ex's and get my own place until you move out and then I'll come live at yours".
So I can't see the benefit in doing the most for someone who hasn't given even 1/10th the effort they are demanding from me.
I forgot to add that history plays a big part in how I feel about financially taking care of my man (or really anyone for that matter).
My dude has held me down for the last 6 years. He's been there for me when I needed him, emotionally, physically, and financially. So because there is that trust built and a pattern of support I would feel good about being able to step in a hold him up if he needed the help.
But in the Op's situation her side lover hasn't supported her like that. He's only given excuses and ultimatums.
"I'll divorce when you divorce."
"I won't move out of my ex's and get my own place until you move out and then I'll come live at yours".
So I can't see the benefit in doing the most for someone who hasn't given even 1/10th the effort they are demanding from me.
Posted by Undineokay and what are your mistakes and troubles in your life? No one is perfect. Why compare her to your aunt in the first place???Posted by pinkbird03Posted by UndinePosted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
How did he fleece you, if he gave you a lump sum big enough to buy a 2 bed flat without a mortgage? He's also paying child support and some maintenance for you, I suppose? How many decades would you have had to pay the mortgage for this flat, if it wasn't for your husband? I bought my 2 bed flat 16 years ago, and I'm still paying mortgage out of my full time job. Welcome to the real life!
I don't have any sympathy for women like you. I know your type well. When I was a child, staying at my grandma's cottage every summer holidays, my eldest aunt --a Pisces--came visit. She arrived in a car with her personal driver, at a time when cars were rarely seen in that village. She then dismissed the driver, prevented him from entering the house, and let my grandma bring him water and food. She looked wealthy, elegant, with hair and nails freshly done. She only stayed for a few hours, being too posh to overnight with us.
What was she doing during that time? Talking in an affected voice about how fucking difficult her life was! That she had to give up her job as a teacher, to raise one single spoilt brat. That all she had to do, was attending parties and visits with her Cap husband (who was the mayor of a small town) and doing--god forbid--small talk! Then she complained about her husband, who as far as I could see when they came visit together, adored her! Apparently, all that she wanted, was to teach needlecraft to school children!
She was telling all these to her hard working and less privileged sisters with full time jobs --farmer and administrator. I could see her sisters rolling their eyes and laughing out loud after she left. She survived her husband by only a few months (practically she starved herself to death), since she didn't know how to live without him.
Despite me being the spit image of her younger self (there were 45 years between us), I couldn't stand her, and so did my cousins.
Pooface is nothing like your aunt and you shouldn’t be so disrespectful to her because you’re making that connection.
Excuse me?
Read her post again. See how she complained about the privileged life she lived and agreed to.
I'm not disrespectful about my aunt, silly! It's pooface I have no respect for, since she is 10000 time worse than my aunt. My aunt didn't cheat on her husband, or pretended that she didn't know what she signed for when she got married! She didn't make his life a hell because she was too weak to divorce him and go after some lover she was obsessed with. She didn't cried "I've been fleeced" for leaving her a small fortune!
SMHclick to expand
Posted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
I'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.click to expand
I have seen this relationship play out Pisces man with a Cancer woman both having an affair on their partners, cos they were outed and got caught they both left their ex’s and moved in together 50/50. Lasted about 3yrs.
Not saying yours is the same as there’s legality/paper work and other responsibilities to consider.
Yes you can find solace in others at a time when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s seems pretty obvious you need to make yourself happy. At least you are seeking help.
Why don’t you both move in together and split 50/50 renting that way if it doesn’t work out, then your options are open.
Posted by pooface222
The thing I really meant to post here was ..
"LADIES...WOULD YOU PROVIDE FOR A MAN, THE WAY A MAN WOULD FOR A WOMAN?"
I just couldn't think of the right wording for my post.
Most of my friends and colleagues have this dynamic where the woman is the higher earner and they either support their spouse financially due to them in some form of education/training.
But it’s a long term investment as the women will peak in their career and later slow down to have kids. Whereas the men it’s a slow start but long term they will be high flying in their career as they won’t be stopping and starting due to maternity.
So it depends if a woman wants to invest in her partner, but no one wants an adult baby just cos you’re feeling broody.
Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
I'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.
I have seen this relationship play out Pisces man with a Cancer woman both having an affair on their partners, cos they were outed and got caught they both left their ex’s and moved in together 50/50. Lasted about 3yrs.
Not saying yours is the same as there’s legality/paper work and other responsibilities to consider.
Yes you can find solace in others at a time when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s seems pretty obvious you need to make yourself happy. At least you are seeking help.
Why don’t you both move in together and split 50/50 renting that way if it doesn’t work out, then your options are open.click to expand
P.s
My Libra friend broke up with her Pisces boyfriend after 11yrs, they were discussing having children and she didn’t want to with him. She said he’s already a baby and irresponsible and she doesn’t want to take care of 2 babies.
The Libra was also paying for his further training in his specialism, so he owes her 4 yrs worth of fees. She’s happy now with an older guy and he’s struggling to find another sucker.
Posted by IsoldePosted by IsoldePosted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
I'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.
I have seen this relationship play out Pisces man with a Cancer woman both having an affair on their partners, cos they were outed and got caught they both left their ex’s and moved in together 50/50. Lasted about 3yrs.
Not saying yours is the same as there’s legality/paper work and other responsibilities to consider.
Yes you can find solace in others at a time when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s seems pretty obvious you need to make yourself happy. At least you are seeking help.
Why don’t you both move in together and split 50/50 renting that way if it doesn’t work out, then your options are open.
P.s
My Libra friend broke up with her Pisces boyfriend after 11yrs, they were discussing having children and she didn’t want to with him. She said he’s already a baby and irresponsible and she doesn’t want to take care of 2 babies.
The Libra was also paying for his further training in his specialism, so he owes her 4 yrs worth of fees. She’s happy now with an older guy and he’s struggling to find another sucker.click to expand
Sounds alot like this Pisces guy. Despite being 50 he's a huge baby who wants everything done for him or he sulks.
I'm 43 so he's an older adult baby.
Posted by 7thHouse
@pooface222
First of all, having an affair is unreasonable. That's even if you were in a miserable marriage. You could've just left before jumping in another rs. 2nd, you've been tricked by guy number 2. He asked you to get a divorce and you followed him. He tested how far you'd go for him and now he sees you will do anything he asks you to, even without his guarantee of being with you. In the end he rejected you even of he's still talking to you. He didn't wanna live with you, said he didn't wanna jump in another rs. That's him basically playing around with you.
Your husband living in the 4 bedroom house is his right by all means. Honestly, he was making the money all these years. And he can afford to maintain it so I think you don't have to be bitter about it. Its not him being unfavorable towards you. It's just the right thing to do and you have to start accepting the fact that you'd have no money whatsoever by leaving your provider. If you were having an affair prior to your divorce, you could've also worked on being financially independent while you were at it. Can't rely on divorce money to get you by. You were already having marital issues, you said. You should've been smarter than waiting for the divorce to happen before trying to find another job. You should've given yourself a headstart since you already want to leave.
I don't know but to me, these all seem like poor decisions made from your part. With the choice of men and with the financial side of things. But these things happen. Not much you can do but to move on from it and not repeat the same mistake.
.
I know. Thats my main regret. Not getting a 2nd job to supplement my self-employed job.
Sadly there were many arguments, a baby to look after, a house to run, classes to teach and a deep well of depression!
I just didnt look after my own needs die to trying to keep everything else going.
I never thought to get a 2nd job until now.
I was too deeply entrenched in misery to think outside of myself.
Posted by UndineYou are Disgusting!Posted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
How did he fleece you, if he gave you a lump sum big enough to buy a 2 bed flat without a mortgage? He's also paying child support and some maintenance for you, I suppose? How many decades would you have had to pay the mortgage for this flat, if it wasn't for your husband? I bought my 2 bed flat 16 years ago, and I'm still paying mortgage out of my full time job. Welcome to the real life!
I don't have any sympathy for women like you. I know your type well. When I was a child, staying at my grandma's cottage every summer holidays, my eldest aunt --a Pisces--came visit. She arrived in a car with her personal driver, at a time when cars were rarely seen in that village. She then dismissed the driver, prevented him from entering the house, and let my grandma bring him water and food. She looked wealthy, elegant, with hair and nails freshly done. She only stayed for a few hours, being too posh to overnight with us.
What was she doing during that time? Talking in an affected voice about how fucking difficult her life was! That she had to give up her job as a teacher, to raise one single spoilt brat. That all she had to do, was attending parties and visits with her Cap husband (who was the mayor of a small town) and doing--god forbid--small talk! Then she complained about her husband, who as far as I could see when they came visit together, adored her! Apparently, all that she wanted, was to teach needlecraft to school children!
She was telling all these to her hard working and less privileged sisters with full time jobs --farmer and administrator. I could see her sisters rolling their eyes and laughing out loud after she left. She survived her husband by only a few months (practically she starved herself to death), since she didn't know how to live without him.
Despite me being the spit image of her younger self (there were 45 years between us), I couldn't stand her, and so did my cousins.click to expand
I do NOT own my place outright..i did not say that! I have a mortgage too because i couldn't even afford a 2 bed flat on my own!
I STILL have depression even after 6yrs but now its WORSE because now I'm a single mum!
I didn't know which way to turn but i sure as hell did NOT want to end up on my own like I have anyway!
Do i choose my controlling devious manipulative husband where I just graciously "bow down to him" just to shut him up from getting me? And act like I'm not affected by him just so he's nice to me?
Ok..he flirts with me too. Calls me sexy and is affectionate BUT only when he is in Angel mode (he is Angel/Devil), and ONLY when he gets his own way.
And never talks or communicates..would rather control me including silent treatment, lack of affection and refusal to make love - just because he cant communicate!
Or..
Do i go for the quiet gentle emotionally open Pisces guy who actually talks to me and actually makes me feel loved?
BUUUT won't leave his partner.
It was my CHILD I was scared for!
I did not want to wreck my childs family and home with divorce.
I was scared.
Do YOU have kids?
No is my guess.
Ignore the people trying to guilt trip you for taking some of his money in the divorce. That money was owed to you, you earned it!
After all, even if it wasn't your name on the paycheck, you ran the household, cooked his meals, had his child, etc. And not to mention he willingly signed up to have a stay at home wife and was verbally abusive and controlling in not wanting you to work (aka taste freedom).
So no, you earned every penny.
Don't let others make you feel bad about your divorce settlement.
Because I guarantee if they were in the same position they would have done the same.
You gave up years of earning potential/career advancement to have his kid.
My mother is going through court rn with my stingy ass father whose trying to get out of alimony. She gave up a blossoming semi-pro career and chance for education in order to have his 5 kids, a decision they jointly made.
Whats wild is she was entitled to take 50% of earnings/equity over the 20 year period they were married.
But seeing as she's not a horrible person she only took 22% , less than half of what she was entitled to.
Now he's trying to take her to court to get out of alimony payments, money she relies on to survive as she is in her 60s and has health conditions which wouldn't allow her to work and owns a modest condo.
Meanwhile he has his million dollar house he owns outright, pension, 401k, and various savings. And I know this dude, he lives very frugally. This isn't about him not being able to pay, this is about him not wanting to pay.
After all, even if it wasn't your name on the paycheck, you ran the household, cooked his meals, had his child, etc. And not to mention he willingly signed up to have a stay at home wife and was verbally abusive and controlling in not wanting you to work (aka taste freedom).
So no, you earned every penny.
Don't let others make you feel bad about your divorce settlement.
Because I guarantee if they were in the same position they would have done the same.
You gave up years of earning potential/career advancement to have his kid.
My mother is going through court rn with my stingy ass father whose trying to get out of alimony. She gave up a blossoming semi-pro career and chance for education in order to have his 5 kids, a decision they jointly made.
Whats wild is she was entitled to take 50% of earnings/equity over the 20 year period they were married.
But seeing as she's not a horrible person she only took 22% , less than half of what she was entitled to.
Now he's trying to take her to court to get out of alimony payments, money she relies on to survive as she is in her 60s and has health conditions which wouldn't allow her to work and owns a modest condo.
Meanwhile he has his million dollar house he owns outright, pension, 401k, and various savings. And I know this dude, he lives very frugally. This isn't about him not being able to pay, this is about him not wanting to pay.
Posted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by IsoldePosted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
I'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.
I have seen this relationship play out Pisces man with a Cancer woman both having an affair on their partners, cos they were outed and got caught they both left their ex’s and moved in together 50/50. Lasted about 3yrs.
Not saying yours is the same as there’s legality/paper work and other responsibilities to consider.
Yes you can find solace in others at a time when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s seems pretty obvious you need to make yourself happy. At least you are seeking help.
Why don’t you both move in together and split 50/50 renting that way if it doesn’t work out, then your options are open.
P.s
My Libra friend broke up with her Pisces boyfriend after 11yrs, they were discussing having children and she didn’t want to with him. She said he’s already a baby and irresponsible and she doesn’t want to take care of 2 babies.
The Libra was also paying for his further training in his specialism, so he owes her 4 yrs worth of fees. She’s happy now with an older guy and he’s struggling to find another sucker.
Sounds alot like this Pisces guy. Despite being 50 he's a huge baby who wants everything done for him or he sulks.
I'm 43 so he's an older adult baby.click to expand
I should say a 11yr relationship is a success and it’s easy to split if no foundation has been built.
I didn’t even realise I gave 2 Pisces men an example, coincidence. But you’re situations differs... too many other factors. Haven’t read all the comments on this thread, so I’m blindly going to say... work on bettering yourself with money, stability and then think about other whims.
Posted by IsoldeSadly we can't do this now.Posted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
I'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.
I have seen this relationship play out Pisces man with a Cancer woman both having an affair on their partners, cos they were outed and got caught they both left their ex’s and moved in together 50/50. Lasted about 3yrs.
Not saying yours is the same as there’s legality/paper work and other responsibilities to consider.
Yes you can find solace in others at a time when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s seems pretty obvious you need to make yourself happy. At least you are seeking help.
Why don’t you both move in together and split 50/50 renting that way if it doesn’t work out, then your options are open.click to expand
This year he has been in the process of buying a house for himself and his son of 20, and about an hour and a half drive away.
His son went to university in Sept last year and lived in student accomodation. So he will be moving from his partners place to his own place with his son.
He has many reasons for this.
One of them being "I want to see if I can live on my own." He is 50. I am 43.
I am heartbroken as my husband moved out 3yrs ago so i have lived alone for 3yrs and am ready to move in with someone. Now HE (this guy), wants to be alone.
It just seems like the last 5yrs have been an utter waste of time!
We could have been together 4yrs ago. His divorce finalised. He told me "I'm getting a flat."
I was still married but was ready for Divorce so I told him "Great. I'll divorce my husband."
I would like to have divorced the same time as him but my child was only 9 months and after huge fights with my husband my head wasnt in the right place.
So now I'm divorced And alone.
And its horrible.
This man came to me 6yrs ago. He told me after a few months, "I want a relationship with you." His divorce started shortly after with his ex-wife divorcing him.
After a year he was divorced. I was ready to start divorce but he never got a flat. He stopped talking about it even though i said Id divorce my husband.
He stayed.
I became confused.
So I stayed too.
HE got upset for ME staying.
Things between us just went round and round in circles!
He plays a lot of head games too.
Maybe the Flat thing was another one.
Maybe he just Said he was getting a flat to make ME go and do it.
This year on the phone, he actually told me it was up to me to make our rship happen.
So I'd have to rip apart my marriage, family and home, just for him to move house, from his partners place, to mine!
With far less money than him. A small child to look after, and 2 jobs to support myself and my child.
You see he is living in his partners house, and has done for the entire 13yrs they've been together.
She left Her husband for him and her teenage kids.
Ever since he moved in with her, and his divorce finalised, he has been with her.
I just don't get it.
Rather than waiting for each other to leave our partners, I suggested we look for a place Together - 4 bloody years ago.
Its all just so confusing and has all come to nothing!
I was lonely in my marriage Yes. And my husband is controlling Yes.
But honestly..it was easier than this Merry go Round of mess resulting in nothing.
Posted by LadyNeptuneI could hug you right now. So I'm sending you a virtual hug..
Ignore the people trying to guilt trip you for taking some of his money in the divorce. That money was owed to you, you earned it!
After all, even if it wasn't your name on the paycheck, you ran the household, cooked his meals, had his child, etc. And not to mention he willingly signed up to have a stay at home wife and was verbally abusive and controlling in not wanting you to work (aka taste freedom).
So no, you earned every penny.
Don't let others make you feel bad about your divorce settlement.
Because I guarantee if they were in the same position they would have done the same.
You gave up years of earning potential/career advancement to have his kid.
My mother is going through court rn with my stingy ass father whose trying to get out of alimony. She gave up a blossoming semi-pro career and chance for education in order to have his 5 kids, a decision they jointly made.
Whats wild is she was entitled to take 50% of earnings/equity over the 20 year period they were married.
But seeing as she's not a horrible person she only took 22% , less than half of what she was entitled to.
Now he's trying to take her to court to get out of alimony payments, money she relies on to survive as she is in her 60s and has health conditions which wouldn't allow her to work and owns a modest condo.
Meanwhile he has his million dollar house he owns outright, pension, 401k, and various savings. And I know this dude, he lives very frugally. This isn't about him not being able to pay, this is about him not wanting to pay.
This is exactly what I'm trying to say about my husband. He's an absolute b****rd! Wants everything his own way! Even having a baby wasn't enough for him! He tried to take away my freedom too!
That's why I started trying to leave for this other man.
We were in love.
But he seemed to want Me to finance him while keeping his money for himself.
So i ended up with Two men treating me badly.
I just wanted my husband to stop being so controlling and horrible.
Or..
For the other guy to leave his partner and build a life with me.
But now he has bought me out of the 4 bed house and is living in it by himself. Except when he sees our child.
I have lost my job due to Covid 19 as gyms closed so now I'm job hunting until i get my classes back.
And I'm in Therapy.
She says "You've been stuck in between two weak men."
Cont'd
To Lady Neptune, my ex-husband has always lived frugally too!
I feel very sorry for your mum, going through this with your dad not wanting to pay alimony. Its disgraceful.
My ex-husband would happily not pay child support if he could.
However, he is very clever and knows how to play the game.
He pays child support because it makes him look good to the authorities! Not because he actually wants to pay it!
Its all about him and how GOOD HE Looks!
To Lady Neptune, my ex-husband has always lived frugally too!
I feel very sorry for your mum, going through this with your dad not wanting to pay alimony. Its disgraceful.
My ex-husband would happily not pay child support if he could.
However, he is very clever and knows how to play the game.
He pays child support because it makes him look good to the authorities! Not because he actually wants to pay it!
Its all about him and how GOOD HE Looks!
Posted by Bk201Thank you 😊
I wouldn't go all out for something that wasn't mine.
I think it's time to move on and find someone who values you.
Yes. You are right..
Posted by pooface222Listen to your therapist.Posted by LadyNeptune
Ignore the people trying to guilt trip you for taking some of his money in the divorce. That money was owed to you, you earned it!
After all, even if it wasn't your name on the paycheck, you ran the household, cooked his meals, had his child, etc. And not to mention he willingly signed up to have a stay at home wife and was verbally abusive and controlling in not wanting you to work (aka taste freedom).
So no, you earned every penny.
Don't let others make you feel bad about your divorce settlement.
Because I guarantee if they were in the same position they would have done the same.
You gave up years of earning potential/career advancement to have his kid.
My mother is going through court rn with my stingy ass father whose trying to get out of alimony. She gave up a blossoming semi-pro career and chance for education in order to have his 5 kids, a decision they jointly made.
Whats wild is she was entitled to take 50% of earnings/equity over the 20 year period they were married.
But seeing as she's not a horrible person she only took 22% , less than half of what she was entitled to.
Now he's trying to take her to court to get out of alimony payments, money she relies on to survive as she is in her 60s and has health conditions which wouldn't allow her to work and owns a modest condo.
Meanwhile he has his million dollar house he owns outright, pension, 401k, and various savings. And I know this dude, he lives very frugally. This isn't about him not being able to pay, this is about him not wanting to pay.
I could hug you right now. So I'm sending you a virtual hug..
This is exactly what I'm trying to say about my husband. He's an absolute b****rd! Wants everything his own way! Even having a baby wasn't enough for him! He tried to take away my freedom too!
That's why I started trying to leave for this other man.
We were in love.
But he seemed to want Me to finance him while keeping his money for himself.
So i ended up with Two men treating me badly.
I just wanted my husband to stop being so controlling and horrible.
Or..
For the other guy to leave his partner and build a life with me.
But now he has bought me out of the 4 bed house and is living in it by himself. Except when he sees our child.
I have lost my job due to Covid 19 as gyms closed so now I'm job hunting until i get my classes back.
And I'm in Therapy.
She says "You've been stuck in between two weak men."click to expand
Cause we tend to repeat certain patterns when it comes to our partners.
The Pisces served his purpose to show you there is loving non-abusive guys out there, but he lacks the urge to provide for you.
The ex husband was cold and controlling but provided.
Neither of them are it. You can't settle for less than.
Use the Pisces for the distraction and emotional crutch while you heal if you must.
But ultimately focus on your child and getting your work and money right. The right one will come along and you'll know because he will do the most and put you first.
Posted by pooface222I spoke with her last night and I was incorrect. She only took 17% . Now that he has retired and his pension is slightly less than his salary she's getting what amounts to 22% .
Cont'd
To Lady Neptune, my ex-husband has always lived frugally too!
I feel very sorry for your mum, going through this with your dad not wanting to pay alimony. Its disgraceful.
My ex-husband would happily not pay child support if he could.
However, he is very clever and knows how to play the game.
He pays child support because it makes him look good to the authorities! Not because he actually wants to pay it!
Its all about him and how GOOD HE Looks!
Irregardless she's too good for him. Even now she is sympathetic and trying to be understanding.
I'm sorry but, there was too many red flags for you to even consider being with this guy. Trying to get a guy who was still married, and has a kid is huge NO in my book. Drop your emotions and how you feel, cause they're definitely NOT leading you towards the right set of mind.
My only ultimatum for you is to just do whatever you can to provide and care for your child. Among the abusive men, confusion and drama you've been through the ONLY person you should care about is your own baby.
Honestly, your child is only one I feel sorry for. As 7thHouse said, hopefully you'll set your priorities straight.
My only ultimatum for you is to just do whatever you can to provide and care for your child. Among the abusive men, confusion and drama you've been through the ONLY person you should care about is your own baby.
Honestly, your child is only one I feel sorry for. As 7thHouse said, hopefully you'll set your priorities straight.
Posted by bmoon8Nope!Posted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
From the sounds of it, your ex husband probably made all of the mortgage payments while you put 0 into the house, so it’s only fair that your name get taken off the mortgage and you move out.click to expand
We shared the Mortgage the way HE wanted!
As he earned a far larger wage, and I was raising our baby, and still working by the,way, he chose how much I paid into the mortgage.
He his it in Percentages.
Meaning that as our child gets older, I work more and earn more, therefore pay a larger percentage to the mortgage.
He would always pay more than me but that was HIS choice! Not mine!
Posted by Cancer96EXACTLY!
I'm sorry but, there was too many red flags for you to even consider being with this guy. Trying to get a guy who was still married, and has a kid is huge NO in my book. Drop your emotions and how you feel, cause they're definitely NOT leading you towards the right set of mind.
My only ultimatum for you is to just do whatever you can to provide and care for your child. Among the abusive men, confusion and drama you've been through the ONLY person you should care about is your own baby.
Honestly, your child is only one I feel sorry for. As 7thHouse said, hopefully you'll set your priorities straight.
I felt sorry for her too!
I didn't want to be a single mum because that is hard for Her AND me!
Everyone knows how tough being a single mum is. But also a child does not like being passed back and forth between parents either, even in an amicable divorce.
I really didnt know which way to turn. I was suffering depression - and still am - and did not want to be a depressed single mum.
Sadly that is exactly what I am now!
And I hate it!
Posted by bmoon8Exactly!Posted by pooface222
So..
Would you go all out for a guy you wanted?
Yes, I would. I would move mountains for a man that I love and am happy with. I would then expect him to follow through on his word.click to expand
Same here.
This guy didnt!
Ok I didn't leave my marriage for him but my child was 2yrs old and there was zero guarantee that this guy would leave his partner after I've divorced.
I mean he has been divorced 4 years now and he is STILL with his partner!?
My husband moved out 3yrs ago.
The pisces guy had vanished because i never left BUT he left left her either ffs!
He was literally waiting for me to wreck my marriage before he leaves his partner.
They're nit married to each other. They dont own a house together, as its HER house. And they have no kids.
He is 50.
She is 57.
Posted by pooface222
[...] But also a child does not like being passed back and forth between parents either, even in an amicable divorce.
This part isn't as bad as you think, as long as you make it clear that both parents (you and him) love the child, and let them know that you divorce was not their fault. There are many child-rearing advice and practices out there to help divorced parents in raising a child.
Granted I'm not sure how well your ex-husband can do this based on what's said about him or yourself, as you need therapy for your depression. Hope all goes well.
Posted by bmoon8Would you?Posted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
Maybe he didn’t believe you would actually leave your husband. You never really did until your husband divorced you and made you leave. He was putting the ball in your court.
Quite frankly, I would have left my husband if I were miserable with him and found another man that I was happy with.click to expand
But what if you had a child?
And once this guy comes into your life, starts telling you..
"I don't want kids."
"I don't love my son."
"I dont care about him."
"My son was conceived by my wife having sex with me when I was drunk."
Would you trust him after he said all of that you?
What if he then complains about his ex-wife and how she whinged and whined in the divorce court, that she is a single mum with no money!
And all the while, YOU are facing the single mum life to be with him, and having to get a 2nd job to both support yourself and child but also so you are not living off this new guy.
And..
What if he complained to you about his partner earnjng LESS than him and how HE has to pay for everything!?
Wouldn't you feel paranoid if he said all of this 👆 to you?
This,is what this Pisces guy said to me.
I was PARANOID!
Posted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222Posted by IsoldePosted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
If your friend came to you with this dilemma, and how pathetic she sounded. What advice would you give her?
I'd ask her lots of questions about both relationships and help her decide which way to go.
Its her choice in the end but I would ask her what she wants most of all.
I have seen this relationship play out Pisces man with a Cancer woman both having an affair on their partners, cos they were outed and got caught they both left their ex’s and moved in together 50/50. Lasted about 3yrs.
Not saying yours is the same as there’s legality/paper work and other responsibilities to consider.
Yes you can find solace in others at a time when you’re going through a rough patch in your life, it’s seems pretty obvious you need to make yourself happy. At least you are seeking help.
Why don’t you both move in together and split 50/50 renting that way if it doesn’t work out, then your options are open.
Sadly we can't do this now.
This year he has been in the process of buying a house for himself and his son of 20, and about an hour and a half drive away.
His son went to university in Sept last year and lived in student accomodation. So he will be moving from his partners place to his own place with his son.
He has many reasons for this.
One of them being "I want to see if I can live on my own." He is 50. I am 43.
I am heartbroken as my husband moved out 3yrs ago so i have lived alone for 3yrs and am ready to move in with someone. Now HE (this guy), wants to be alone.
It just seems like the last 5yrs have been an utter waste of time!
We could have been together 4yrs ago. His divorce finalised. He told me "I'm getting a flat."
I was still married but was ready for Divorce so I told him "Great. I'll divorce my husband."
I would like to have divorced the same time as him but my child was only 9 months and after huge fights with my husband my head wasnt in the right place.
So now I'm divorced And alone.
And its horrible.
This man came to me 6yrs ago. He told me after a few months, "I want a relationship with you." His divorce started shortly after with his ex-wife divorcing him.
After a year he was divorced. I was ready to start divorce but he never got a flat. He stopped talking about it even though i said Id divorce my husband.
He stayed.
I became confused.
So I stayed too.
HE got upset for ME staying.
Things between us just went round and round in circles!
He plays a lot of head games too.
Maybe the Flat thing was another one.
Maybe he just Said he was getting a flat to make ME go and do it.
This year on the phone, he actually told me it was up to me to make our rship happen.
So I'd have to rip apart my marriage, family and home, just for him to move house, from his partners place, to mine!
With far less money than him. A small child to look after, and 2 jobs to support myself and my child.
You see he is living in his partners house, and has done for the entire 13yrs they've been together.
She left Her husband for him and her teenage kids.
Ever since he moved in with her, and his divorce finalised, he has been with her.
I just don't get it.
Rather than waiting for each other to leave our partners, I suggested we look for a place Together - 4 bloody years ago.
Its all just so confusing and has all come to nothing!
I was lonely in my marriage Yes. And my husband is controlling Yes.
But honestly..it was easier than this Merry go Round of mess resulting in nothing.click to expand
Not much else can be said. This is all dead in the pan now, it’s how you come out of this wreckage that’s important.
With a kid who is your legacy is the upmost importance and that means separating was the correct move. Really not healthy for any child to be in a tense/toxic environment, they are good at sensing this stuff. Irrelevant of your affair it was the right move to be a single mother.
As for the Pisces he was an escapism that’s you needed, when there’s too many blockages... it’s for a reason. Something for you to learn from.
Posted by pinkbird03His answer was..Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
I would Soooo LOVE to xx
BUT..after 6yrs of (stupidly) waiting for each other to leave our partners, he has told me 3 things.
1) I want to take care of my son by providing him with a home; my son will share the mortgage with me.
2) I want to see if I can live on my own (he was 50 in February).
3) I'm not jumping from one rship to another.
This last one amuses, and upsets me. He WAS jumping from one rship to another to start with.
From his partner, to Me!
So now..after 6yrs, we are not together, and my heart is broken 😪
To this day I am confused as to why he didnt leave his partner 4yrs ago, like he said he was. Get a flat, like he said he was, even when I suggested that we flat-hunt together and discuss money for a 3 bed flat for the 4 of us, he just didn't go for it with me.
THEN a couple of months later, took me on a lunch date and said..
"Where do we go from here? What now? Why are you with him?"
🤦♀️
Ok and how did that conversation go? Almost sounds like he likes you but doesn’t want to commit.click to expand
"Not straight away, and not for more than 3 days a week." 🤷♀️
Posted by bmoon8Nope i paid into the house too.Posted by pooface222Posted by bmoon8Posted by pooface222Posted by Undine
There are some questions to help understand the situation better.
When did he divorce? Where did he live after divorce? How many years after divorce did he buy a house?
When did you divorce? Where have you been living since?
Are you two still in contact? If not, when did you break up for good.
He has been divorced since summer 2016 so 4yrs.
He is still with his partner even now. He stayed because I never left my husband. He even admitted this a month ago on the phone. He said "it was up to you to make us happen."
So Yes we are still in contact.
He came over for coffee to my new place last week.
My divorce finalised in December but i was given until mid April to move out of our 4 bed house with a lump sum and my mame taken off the mortgage.
So..He fleeced ME. I've lost my job due to gums being closed and although I got a lump sum, its not enough to buy a house and i dont even want a big one.
I bought a small 2 bed flat only 5 weeks ago.
He (ex husband), is now living in the 4 bed house by himself except when our child is with him.
Pisces is only buying his house with his son THIS WEEK!
Hope thus answers your questions.
From the sounds of it, your ex husband probably made all of the mortgage payments while you put 0 into the house, so it’s only fair that your name get taken off the mortgage and you move out.
Nope!
We shared the Mortgage the way HE wanted!
As he earned a far larger wage, and I was raising our baby, and still working by the,way, he chose how much I paid into the mortgage.
He his it in Percentages.
Meaning that as our child gets older, I work more and earn more, therefore pay a larger percentage to the mortgage.
He would always pay more than me but that was HIS choice! Not mine!
Really?! If this is the case, you should have gotten a lawyer to fight for you to sell the house and you get half of it.
You have made several posts about your ex husband and you. You have mostly said that you were dependent on your ex husband. So I was under the assumption that you paid nothing into the house.click to expand
I have never wanted to be financially dependant on a guy..even if he is my husband. The idea,was that as our baby got older, i will increase my hours.
Posted by GemiAwesomeAssYou are absolutely right.Posted by pooface222Posted by UndinePosted by pooface222Posted by Undine
If he is buying a house now, he doesn't seem to be living off women, or waiting for them to provide for him...
On the other hand, you were (are?) someone who lived off your husband, while earning little for yourself. I would think that a man who earns a proper wage, and wants an equal partnership, would proceed with caution in your case.
Your story only makes sense, if this is what was actually proposed: that you divorce your husband, and with what you managed to fleece from him, buy a flat for yourself and your daughter. Pisces would have done the same for his son and himself. This would have meant that you came in a relationship with similar assets, and got to date properly, as single people, before moving in together.
Moving in together implies selling your small flats and buying a house large enough for the four of you. Him wanting "to move in with you" in a 2 bed flat does not make sense, since your extended family needs 3 beds, and not 2.
Anyway, something went wrong, and you broke up. There is no point of being bitter and accusing a man (with a house and good wage) for living off women. Aren't you still living off your ex husband?
You can do away with your judgemental comments of fleecing my husband Thank you very much!
He wanted a baby with me then began making threats to leave me if I didn't obey his demands.
He Hated me working! The more hours I worked, the more verbally abusive he became!
You see..i wanted to look after our baby in the daytime, and see other mummy friends I had made, and take our child to playgroups and swimming and other fun mummy & baby activities.
I then wanted to work in the evenings and a couple of hours weekend mornings.
That way i can be mummy and still earn money teaching fitness classes.
However he got at me regularly for my working pattern - 4 nights a week for 1 hour each.
THIS was part of my working pattern before pregnancy. Now that i was going back to my old pattern of work suddenly my husband can't stand it!
Everything i did was wrong INCLUDING taking on more work to support myself so that I am NOT living off my husband SMARTYPANTS!
YES, you were living of your husband, like it or not. Surely he told you --before you tied the knot--that he expected children during his marriage (like most people do) and also an old school, stay at home wife (apart from a hobby or two)? Is that not what you agreed to? Did you leave a promising career to become a house maker?
You could have chosen to end your marriage, yet you carried on. Took a lover and made the life of your husband hell, so he ended up divorcing you instead, for unreasonable behaviour! How much money and assets did you get from your divorce?
Anyway, what happened, happened. You can't change the past, no matter how bitter you are about your ex lover who moved on and bought himself a house, and how much you try to re-write what happened. Move on!
Look if you have NOTHING NICE to say then YOU move on!
Besides, if I remember, aren't you a Man?
I could be wrong but I'm sure from previous posts you are.
My post here says LADIES!
Sorry if I'm wrong.
I got zero assests. No pension. Nothing.
Just a lump sum to buy a small place while HE lives in the 4 bed family home. Alone!
If you had bothered to read properly you'd realise that i had been in a very controlling marriage for years but was scared to leave after years of abuse.
This is why i didn't end my marriage.
FEAR.
HE made MY life Hell.
Control. Verbal emotional abuse!
The Pisces guy came into my life with all of his issues including being in a relationship AND still being married to his ex-wife AND had a teenage son - who is now 20.
So with his situation being in a mess, I couldn't even be with him!
So 2yrs after we met (we met in 2014), he was divorced and told me "I'm getting a flat."
So i said "I'll divorce my husband."
It never happened.
I said "lets hunt for places together..discuss money "
I was left confused.
So he stayed with his partner.
I stayed with my husband.
Pisces guy left me.
But 5hen he kept coming back after months. Then leaving. Then coming back!?
You need to chill. @Undine is your non-ass-kissing advisor here.
Don’t you want to hear opinions from different people with different point of view?
Why are you flying off handles?
I remember we’ve talked when I was fucked up in my life almost same as you were and we just exchanged our frustration...and you still there hanged up in that mofo!
Don’t you SEE how he is all about control?
Just like your ex? Almost twins?
Pisces did care about you being free? To separate from you?
And btw your ex living in that house - why do you care? Could you AFFORD that house if you had it?
So Pisces seem like a fucking nightmare!
He has life of his own AND wants to control yours and not in your favor.
He said why are you still with ex?
Now you aren’t! What’s his problem NOW?
Did you ask?click to expand
This bs with Pisces has been going on for 6yrs! 4 of those years he has been divorced from his ex-wife. But stayed with his partner!
He even told me "I'm saving up." Yeah because he is no longer making mortgage payments to the house his ex-wife and son lived in as its now sold.
His partner began questioning his money wtc because he got a lump sum from his divorce, and is saving up the mortgage payments and also still living in his partners house.
I was worried that if I left my husband and hot my own place, he will move in with me and save up money secretly too. Oh..and cheat on me too. Just like he's doing to his partner.
So yes like you said I am starting to think this Pisces guy is also trying to control my life, just like my husband!
Sadly its taken me 6yrs to work it out!
I had a baby to look after who is now 6yrs old!
Its bloody CRAZY what i have been through!
All i wanted was to look after our baby, start to work more hours and eventually get my life back as our baby gets older andxi can earn more.
Instead my husband hated me working more hours - because i chose to teach classes at night! I didnt want to put our baby in nursery as baby time flies by in a flash!
So i was mummy in the day and instructor at night.
My husband demanded i only teach "no more than 3 nights a week. And no weekends!"
Oh so I'm meant to just be a mum and a wife am I?
And earn NOTHING almost, because hubby says so??
🤬
Posted by LadyNeptuneXx thank you..Posted by pooface222Posted by LadyNeptune
Ignore the people trying to guilt trip you for taking some of his money in the divorce. That money was owed to you, you earned it!
After all, even if it wasn't your name on the paycheck, you ran the household, cooked his meals, had his child, etc. And not to mention he willingly signed up to have a stay at home wife and was verbally abusive and controlling in not wanting you to work (aka taste freedom).
So no, you earned every penny.
Don't let others make you feel bad about your divorce settlement.
Because I guarantee if they were in the same position they would have done the same.
You gave up years of earning potential/career advancement to have his kid.
My mother is going through court rn with my stingy ass father whose trying to get out of alimony. She gave up a blossoming semi-pro career and chance for education in order to have his 5 kids, a decision they jointly made.
Whats wild is she was entitled to take 50% of earnings/equity over the 20 year period they were married.
But seeing as she's not a horrible person she only took 22% , less than half of what she was entitled to.
Now he's trying to take her to court to get out of alimony payments, money she relies on to survive as she is in her 60s and has health conditions which wouldn't allow her to work and owns a modest condo.
Meanwhile he has his million dollar house he owns outright, pension, 401k, and various savings. And I know this dude, he lives very frugally. This isn't about him not being able to pay, this is about him not wanting to pay.
I could hug you right now. So I'm sending you a virtual hug..
This is exactly what I'm trying to say about my husband. He's an absolute b****rd! Wants everything his own way! Even having a baby wasn't enough for him! He tried to take away my freedom too!
That's why I started trying to leave for this other man.
We were in love.
But he seemed to want Me to finance him while keeping his money for himself.
So i ended up with Two men treating me badly.
I just wanted my husband to stop being so controlling and horrible.
Or..
For the other guy to leave his partner and build a life with me.
But now he has bought me out of the 4 bed house and is living in it by himself. Except when he sees our child.
I have lost my job due to Covid 19 as gyms closed so now I'm job hunting until i get my classes back.
And I'm in Therapy.
She says "You've been stuck in between two weak men."
Listen to your therapist.
Cause we tend to repeat certain patterns when it comes to our partners.
The Pisces served his purpose to show you there is loving non-abusive guys out there, but he lacks the urge to provide for you.
The ex husband was cold and controlling but provided.
Neither of them are it. You can't settle for less than.
Use the Pisces for the distraction and emotional crutch while you heal if you must.
But ultimately focus on your child and getting your work and money right. The right one will come along and you'll know because he will do the most and put you first.click to expand
I love how you just Get what I'm saying instantly x
You hit the nail right in the head with both guys.
This is why i found it so hard to know which guy to be with.
The father of my child who is made of ice and cruelty nut provides?
Or the warm and deeply emotional one who shares himself with me and listens and connects with me BUT keeps his money to himself while I - a single mum with a small child - provides for him!
Or "Goes all out" for him.
Hence my Post here.
Posted by bmoon8But what about the child in this situation?Posted by pooface222
Hi Ladies..
I'm just wondering how far you would go to make a guy yours.?
I met a guy a long time ago who wanted to leave his partner for me. And I wanted to leave mine for him.
It never happened.
I've discussed this before a while back but from a very different perspective to this.
Now this guy sat around in his relationship with his partner, waiting for Me to leave my husband first.
Its a long story but I'll keep it short.
He was divorced, had a lump sum, etc but was in a rship with a woman for years and now wanted to leave her for me.
However this would require me getting divorced, selling my house and all that hassle and stress, plus getting a 2nd job to pay my own mortgage etc.
This guy was already living in his partners house. She was divorced and had her own place and when they met, he moved in.
Anyway..he wanted me to get a place of my own, so that he could then move in with me.
He didn't say this literally, but the mild implications he made, told me.
Any suggestions I made for him leaving his partner first, was met with excuses galore.
He just wanted to carry on seeing me (cheating), while I leave first.
My suggestion was that he stops cheating, gets a flat, either rented or bought, so that he - and I - are no longer cheating.
He waited for me to leave.
I waited for him to leave.
Neither one of us left.
So..nothing happened.
He got insecure because he felt I didht love him.
Maybe he didn’t believe you would actually leave your husband. You never really did until your husband divorced you and made you leave. He was putting the ball in your court.
Quite frankly, I would have left my husband if I were miserable with him and found another man that I was happy with.click to expand
Posted by hydorahYes. Exactly.
you need to take care of your life and autonomy first, then see what's going on with th rships after, don't mix the two things, be on your own
Unfortunately both me and him 6yrs ago were trying to have a rship AND sort out our huge issues.
Our conversations ended up being about our issues and partners ffs!
NOT about each other and building a life together 🤦♀️
Posted by pooface222My suggestion. Give him space to miss youPosted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
I would Soooo LOVE to xx
BUT..after 6yrs of (stupidly) waiting for each other to leave our partners, he has told me 3 things.
1) I want to take care of my son by providing him with a home; my son will share the mortgage with me.
2) I want to see if I can live on my own (he was 50 in February).
3) I'm not jumping from one rship to another.
This last one amuses, and upsets me. He WAS jumping from one rship to another to start with.
From his partner, to Me!
So now..after 6yrs, we are not together, and my heart is broken 😪
To this day I am confused as to why he didnt leave his partner 4yrs ago, like he said he was. Get a flat, like he said he was, even when I suggested that we flat-hunt together and discuss money for a 3 bed flat for the 4 of us, he just didn't go for it with me.
THEN a couple of months later, took me on a lunch date and said..
"Where do we go from here? What now? Why are you with him?"
🤦♀️
Ok and how did that conversation go? Almost sounds like he likes you but doesn’t want to commit.
His answer was..
"Not straight away, and not for more than 3 days a week." 🤷♀️click to expand
How old is your child?
Posted by pinkbird03😊 thank youPosted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
I would Soooo LOVE to xx
BUT..after 6yrs of (stupidly) waiting for each other to leave our partners, he has told me 3 things.
1) I want to take care of my son by providing him with a home; my son will share the mortgage with me.
2) I want to see if I can live on my own (he was 50 in February).
3) I'm not jumping from one rship to another.
This last one amuses, and upsets me. He WAS jumping from one rship to another to start with.
From his partner, to Me!
So now..after 6yrs, we are not together, and my heart is broken 😪
To this day I am confused as to why he didnt leave his partner 4yrs ago, like he said he was. Get a flat, like he said he was, even when I suggested that we flat-hunt together and discuss money for a 3 bed flat for the 4 of us, he just didn't go for it with me.
THEN a couple of months later, took me on a lunch date and said..
"Where do we go from here? What now? Why are you with him?"
🤦♀️
Ok and how did that conversation go? Almost sounds like he likes you but doesn’t want to commit.
His answer was..
"Not straight away, and not for more than 3 days a week." 🤷♀️
My suggestion. Give him space to miss youclick to expand
I've tried that but sadly, it doesn't work. Why? Because he is the Master of Silence!
Boy can he wait! Boy can he back off. And he KNOWS he does it too!
He is so good at it that he hurt me with the HUUUUUGE amount of space he gave me to miss him!
And I missed him like HELL !
I ended up over-texting him and saying "are you ok? What's wrong? You've gone silent."
No response though.
I slso ended up insecure because it felt like he was taking the piss!
It was like a battle to see who can out-silence the other! I'm not saying it Was like that. But it sure as hell felt like it.
Posted by sweetheartsHi 😊
How old is your child?
She is 6yrs old.
Why?
“It’s better to come from a broken
home than live in one”
~Dr Phil
home than live in one”
~Dr Phil
Posted by pooface222To me that says he doesn’t care about your feelings. That he wants to have power over the relationship and it’s his way only. I don’t feel like you should waste your love on him. Have you thought about going on an online dating app to look for someone new?Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03Posted by pooface222Posted by pinkbird03
So why don’t you move in with this guy??? You’re free from your ex husband like he wanted. Plus he was willing to move in with you.
I would Soooo LOVE to xx
BUT..after 6yrs of (stupidly) waiting for each other to leave our partners, he has told me 3 things.
1) I want to take care of my son by providing him with a home; my son will share the mortgage with me.
2) I want to see if I can live on my own (he was 50 in February).
3) I'm not jumping from one rship to another.
This last one amuses, and upsets me. He WAS jumping from one rship to another to start with.
From his partner, to Me!
So now..after 6yrs, we are not together, and my heart is broken 😪
To this day I am confused as to why he didnt leave his partner 4yrs ago, like he said he was. Get a flat, like he said he was, even when I suggested that we flat-hunt together and discuss money for a 3 bed flat for the 4 of us, he just didn't go for it with me.
THEN a couple of months later, took me on a lunch date and said..
"Where do we go from here? What now? Why are you with him?"
🤦♀️
Ok and how did that conversation go? Almost sounds like he likes you but doesn’t want to commit.
His answer was..
"Not straight away, and not for more than 3 days a week." 🤷♀️
My suggestion. Give him space to miss you
😊 thank you
I've tried that but sadly, it doesn't work. Why? Because he is the Master of Silence!
Boy can he wait! Boy can he back off. And he KNOWS he does it too!
He is so good at it that he hurt me with the HUUUUUGE amount of space he gave me to miss him!
And I missed him like HELL !
I ended up over-texting him and saying "are you ok? What's wrong? You've gone silent."
No response though.
I slso ended up insecure because it felt like he was taking the piss!
It was like a battle to see who can out-silence the other! I'm not saying it Was like that. But it sure as hell felt like it.click to expand
Related Topics
How do you talk to someone that is the opposite to you? My glass is always half full but my daughters is always half empty. She’s a cancer, I’m libra. I only realised this now thinking about the last conversation we had in which I wished her well for he
@sweethearts
Joined: Mar 24, 2006 · Topics: 326 · Posts: 6615
@sugarplumeow
Joined: Feb 18, 2015 · Topics: 62 · Posts: 265
This guy has been live streaming protests in Portland, Seattle, LA, Chicago, and more cities for over a month now. I've been watching for a couple weeks. Pretty good coverage.
https://youtu.be/rpuRWapxl_k
@_Dazed
Joined: Feb 18, 2019 · Topics: 250 · Posts: 12626
They say people born under the sun sign of Gemini, the twins, are almost 2 people in 1.
Do you feel like there are 2 people living inside your body or your brain?
@AngelicaBlackstone
Joined: Apr 17, 2019 · Topics: 3 · Posts: 7
So I met this pisces girl a fee weeks ago. We hit it off amazing, we talked for hours, set up a date, went on it this past saturday. Everything went well she said she loved it. Well the next day things started getting strange, she was texting me but it ju
@Coolguy29
Joined: Jul 22, 2020 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 8
And what are the aspects? I know you need Saturn in synastry for a relationship to be longterm. I'm talking to someone right now and I'm not sure if we really have enough Saturn aspects in our synastry. We have Mars opposition Saturn which is a 7-degree a
@LadyVenusxox
Joined: Dec 14, 2018 · Topics: 21 · Posts: 130
So if a man calls you silly a lot what does that mean? Is it a bad thing or a good thing?
https://media.giphy.com/media/jVBLcjmPyM3KJZhrVF/giphy.gif
@WitchmitchAries
Joined: Dec 28, 2016 · Topics: 162 · Posts: 3726
I met an Aquarius guy who had a 2 year old daughter at my friends house. His uncle lived next door to her. The first day we met we clicked. We talked about different things and laughed and had great chemistry. We hung out every weekend for the first 3 wee
@SOLOGIRL1216
Joined: Jul 22, 2020 · Topics: 2 · Posts: 8
For the past couple of months I have been having a lot of dreams where I am being attacked in some kind of form or another. They usually wake me up and it's hard to go back to sleep because when I do I go right back into the dream.
It has gotten to the p
@SeaLion
Joined: Aug 14, 2018 · Topics: 87 · Posts: 2599
Hello I’m a Leo woman dealing with an Aquarius for about 8 months now. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs but things are starting to smooth out. The issue I have is he wants to text and talk to me everyday(which I know he cares), but has mentioned he’s not
@risingxphoenixx
Joined: Apr 28, 2020 · Topics: 1 · Posts: 1